Absolution
by Miss Baby
Summary: When a high profile murder case forces old enemies back together, can the sins of the past be absolved? Or have time and malice destroyed the bonds of family and love forever? AU, AH Canon pairings
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. I am in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise, I just use their creations to have my wicked way with them. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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_**Here's my new story. Hope you'll like it.**_

_**Before we start I would like to thank my wonderful beta, The Real Teacher, for continuing to stand by me and put up with all my questions and horrendous butchering of the English language. This story wouldn't be what it is without her and I can't thank her enough for it. Love ya! **_

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**- 0 -**

"I love you Edward!" I squealed, my trembling fingers carefully caressing the delicate petals of the flower he'd just trusted into them.

Esme had come to pick us up from school today. Between my mom's new vocation as a yoga instructor and my dad being at the station more than he was at home, it was turning into a regular event. The unexpected perk today was that Esme had to run an errand in town – something she had to pick up for a client or something – and so we were dropped at the edge of the estate, giving us some time to spend in our meadow without the ever-present parentals hovering over us.

I had every hope that our alone time would allow us to lift our relationship to the next level. Not that I was a slut or anything, but being the only girl in eighth grade who'd never even gone as far as first base even though I'd been with the same boyfriend since kindergarten was really starting to affect my confidence. Not that I disliked Edward's chaste kisses and all of the holding hands and other stuff but, from what I'd heard, boyfriends – and especially those who were already in high school – were supposed to be all over you, not standing next to you at a respectable distance because they worried about damaging your virtue and reputation.

Wanting to let him know how much a little dent in said virtue would be appreciated I planted a kiss on his cheeks that made him stumble a little from the force of it. "You're the best boyfriend a girl could ever wish for!"

He shrugged, trying to hide the fact that he was blushing behind the upturned collar of his jacket. "Like I don't know that. You tell me often enough."

Say what?

I frowned wondering what the hell he was saying. "So what? Should I tell you, you suck major ass or something?"

He gave me another one of those none-committing shrugs which were really making me doubt whether or not he was such a fantastic boyfriend after all – as he replied. "Whatever. You can say whatever the hell you like. It's a free country and it's not like you ever hold back anyway."

I growled under my breath. If only the stupid boy would have known how much I held back right now, he would have run like the devil was on his ass to catch up with his mom. "Edward Anthony Cullen. Did you really just call me an overbearing bitch just now?"

I know I was getting a bit into the dramatics and all, but I really did need to get this straight. My future wedding to the ideal husband (though he was proving to be not so much an ideal husband right now) was at stake here. If anyone was allowed to be a bit upset and overreacting it was me.

"Not to your face," Edward shrugged (seriously, what was with the shrugging?), the way his lips curled up showing me that that was exactly what he was thinking, though his mom had raised him better than to speak the words.

Next thing he knew he was assaulted by a delicate little bouquet of cornflowers and daisies. His facial expression going from smug to surprised and finally to disgusted when he opened his mouth to say something only to have it filled with blue and white flowers.

"Hey!" he growled, in between spitting out bits of flower. "What did you do that for?"

"Ugh!" I snarled, resisting the urge to slap him some more. "You're such a guy! You always do this! Why can't you ever do something nice and act nice at the same time?"

This afternoon was turning into such a huge disappointment that I had to bite my lip to keep myself from crying. Instead of getting my first real kiss I would be dumping my boyfriend because he turned out to be a huge asshole. And as much as I wanted to get kissed, I couldn't give that important milestone in my life up to just any old asshole.

He shrugged again, his feet drawing geometrical patterns in the sand. "I dunno…."

_Holy saints of stupid boyfriends! That did it! _

I snarled at him as I jumped up from our tree trunk and started to leg it back home. "Then figure your shit out! Your mood swings are giving me whiplash!"

I knew better than to curse. With my dad being the police chief in the small town I'd grown up in, there were ears and eyes watching me all around. If Charlie – my part-time hippie parents thought it insulting to be called 'mom' and 'dad' to their face – found out his sweet little girl was currently standing in the backyard (that was, if you could call a private forest a backyard) of her boyfriend's house hollering up a storm, I'd probably be grounded until I left home for college.

As soon as I'd made my dramatic exit, my feet stomping all over the remnants of the once beautiful little arrangement of summer flowers, I heard him spring into action, a satisfied smile tugging at my lips even before he'd said a thing. "Bella, wait!"

"What?" I growled, my satisfaction growing when I saw my words were having the desired effect.

"I-I didn't mean it like that," he stammered, dragging his hand through his hair as he scrambled to get himself out of the mess he'd made. When he looked at me, his beautiful green eyes were pleading with me to forgive him. "I-I love you too, you know I do. I'm crazy about you….It's just…."

"What?" I repeated myself, crossing my arms in front of my chest as I tried with all my might to stay angry and not focus on how pretty Edward looked when he was all frazzled and nervous.

"You'd better have a good explanation for this Edward, or so help me God…." I added. I'd heard my mom use that phrase on my dad more often than I'd like to admit and it worked every time.

"It was Mike," Edward answered quickly. "We had an argument today and…."

"God!" I groaned. Ever since Edward had crossed over to the dark side (aka Forks High) last year he and Mike had been going from one fight to another. It was fascinating how boys could be perfectly well-adjusted one moment only to turn into complete rambling lunatics the minute they crossed the road from Forks Junior High to Forks High. It was amazing how much difference those two hundred feet from door to door made.

It was also amazing how those two had made it to their sophomore year without getting kicked out for staging a full, guns blazing duel behind the gymnasium.

Finally my curiosity got the better of me, though, causing me to ask the question he'd been wanting me to ask all along. "What was it about this time?"

"About you, actually," Edward admitted. "He kept nagging at me about how I was completely whipped by a little girl…."

I was suddenly grateful for having Jessica Stanley for a friend, even if the friendship came more from her side then from mine. She might have had the intellect of a goldfish and the annoyingly peppy manners a Jack Russell Terrier, but had it not been for this sage when it came to sex and boyfriends I wouldn't have had a clue about what he was talking about. I mean, unless my parents were doing all sorts of kinky stuff I didn't know about (and never wanted to know about, thank you very much) I didn't have access to a whip, let alone knowledge of how to use it.

Being as it was, Edward's admission only pissed me off even further. How could he listen to a pervy little creep like Mike? It wasn't like that ugly little fart of a human being had any experience when it came to relationships or soul mates? Not like we did, anyway.

"And you listened to what the dumb idiot said?" I cried, trying not to snort at the way Edward's eyes widened with fear as he found out his admission might not have had the effect he was looking for.

"No?" Edward tried, knowing I wasn't going to fall for his crap. He'd let that pimply little piece of donkey dung get to him and had been a shitty boyfriend to me because of it. No amount of daisies or cornflowers could change that.

"Tell me Edward," I challenged him, trying a new kind of tactic. "Do you think I've got you whipped?"

I narrowed my eyes again when the boy actually had the audacity to take some time to think about it before he replied. "No."

I snorted. "You sound _very_ convincing."

"I don't mind you taking control," he was quick to add. "At least….not when you still let me do nice things for you and take you out and stuff. In fact…I like the way we are when we're together."

"Then why are you taking advice from Mike Newton!" I cried, wishing they taught a course on boys at school because I didn't understand one bit about them. It was like they were a completely different species or something.

"It's just a stupid guy thing," Edward pleaded. "I never should have listened to them but they said all these things about girls and how they should know who's boss in a relationship and I couldn't help but think…..but I was wrong. I love you just the way you are."

I tightened my eyes to slits, hoping my narrowed vision could somehow show me if he was speaking the truth or not. "Okay," I finally grudgingly admitted. "But then, if you _really_ love me just the way I am, why did you act like an ass earlier?"

"Like I said," he replied with a shrug. "I dunno…I just kept on thinking about what Mike said and…"

"Ugh!" I huffed as I stomped back to the meadow and parked my ass back on 'our' tree trunk. "Boys are so stupid!"

Edward sat down next to me at a respectable distance, giving me the time to vent and calm down at my own speed. That's what I loved so much about him. Well, apart from the fact that he was drop dead gorgeous and – apparently – didn't mind me being a bit on the overbearing bitchy side. He gave me space. At times it was like he could read me like a book.

He really was my soul mate.

I knew it, even with my mom saying all kinds of crap about how true soul mates didn't even exist and that romantic attachments formed in Kindergarten hardly ever lasted into adulthood. Yet here we were, me in eight grade and Edward already a sophomore in High School and still together and in love as much as we had been from the first moment we met (though sometimes he really did piss me off)

Well, we were going to prove her wrong. We were going to grow up, get married and have lots of sex (though from Jess' description I wasn't so sure whether that was all it was cracked up to be) and babies (though since I'd seen a birth on the Medical Channel I wasn't so enthusiastic about Edward's plan to have eight kids anymore) and grow old and wrinkly and die in each other's arms. I knew it would happen. We'd made a plan, put it to paper and signed it with our own blood. No power on earth or beyond could undo that. Not even my mom.

"So you'll still come to my place with me?" Edward asked after a while, his hypnotizing eyes working their magic through his lashes. I wouldn't have been able to deny him even if I wanted to. Being as it was I was really curious about what Edward might have up his sleeve that involved us getting back to the house. He'd been going on about a special surprise he had for me all weekend.

Part of me was hoping it would be a darkened living room, a movie I'd seen before (so that I wouldn't feel guilty about not paying any attention to it whatsoever) and Bella Swan receiving her first real (according to Jessica) kiss. Although another part of me was scared to death about that actually happening. I mean, I knew I was fourteen and all, which meant that I was almost a grown woman, and I also knew that Edward and I had been together long enough for stuff like that to happen without it making me feel like some cheap slut, but what if I wasn't any good at it? What if I bit him or something? Or – even worse – my nerves got the better of me, making me throw up inside his mouth?

And so I did what any self-respecting fourteen year old girl would do I shoved my hands into the pockets of my jeans and shrugged, playing all cool and collected when even the birds in the sky could see I wasn't. "Sure."

His face lit up like a Christmas tree, magically conjuring a smile to my face as he offered me his hand. "Then let's go!"

We crossed the remaining distance to the Cullen house in comfortable silence, basking in the hot late-afternoon sun and the sounds and smells of the forest. Even with as much time as I was spending over at Edward's place, it still held me completely under its spell. The way the huge white house sat in a large clearing in the quiet private estate made it look like something out of a fairytale and I half expected a unicorn or leprechaun to appear from out of nowhere.

"It's so beautiful,' I whispered.

Edward chuckled, his hand softly squeezing mine. "You say that every time."

"And every time it's true," I quipped. "I'm happy your mom had to run an errand in Port Angeles."

"So am I," Edward sighed, his thumb drawing lazy circles into my hand as we languidly crossed the remaining distance to the house. It was when we'd almost reached the door that a flicker of movement from inside the house caught my attention.

"What the…." I started, my body coming to a complete standstill as I peeked through the window into Edward's dad's study and saw my mom and Edward's dad, locked in a very intimate looking embrace.

"Bella?' Edward frowned, before following my gaze and letting out a low hiss. "What the fuck?"

I looked at him, biting my lip as I tried to come up with a reason why Carlisle should have his hands all over my mom's back. It didn't look like she was sick, and even if she was I knew better than to think Carlisle was using his medical knowledge to fix her at the moment. "Do you…."

Edward shook his head. "No."

We both crept close, avoiding detection by crouching underneath the window where we were barely able to peep through the window, but could hear almost everything.

"It's going to be alright," I heard Edward's dad reassure my mom. "Let's just pretend none of this even happened and….."

"But Carlisle!" my mom's agitated voice cried.

"No Renee! Can't you see?" Carlisle cried, his hand gesticulating towards something on his desk. "If this comes out we'd be in much more trouble than we are now. We have to keep this a secret!"

I felt Edward nudge me in the side, and when I turned towards him I saw confusion and shock on his face that no doubt mirrored mine. "What is going on?" he whispered, nodding his head towards the open window.

"I don't know," I replied honestly, straining my ears to catch more of what was being said within.

"I don't see how that would work!" Renee's high-pitched voice shrieked. "Think about what would happen when people find out! How do you think Charlie would react, knowing I'd betrayed his trust? And Esme…"

"Keep Esme out of this, Renee," Carlisle warned, the threat in his voice making me take an involuntary step backwards. "We put a stop to this now and they will never find out."

I gasped, my mind slowly putting two and two together and ending up at the one logical explanation for all of this: my mom – the person who was always nagging at me that I was too young to have a boyfriend and that boys were only good for distracting you from the things that were really important – was having an affair.

With my boyfriend's dad.

My mom together _like that_ with my prospective father in law.

_Yuck. _

What was worse was that Edward must have come to the same conclusion because the hand that had been holding onto mine was suddenly snatched away with a ferocity that sent jolts of pain through my body.

"Edward?" I tried, sneaking a sideways glance at the now completely closed off face of the boy I'd known and loved since as long as I could remember.

"Be quiet!" he hissed at me, his eyes fixed on the window above us where the conversation between his dad and my mom continued.

Trying to stop my tears from falling I focused on what was going on inside, hoping this would all turn out to be some sort of strange misunderstanding and not my worst nightmare come to life.

"Oh, don't be so naïve, Carlisle," my mom answered, her irritation growing almost visibly. "The truth has a habit of finding its way out and when it does, I think it would be best if they hear it from us instead of from some old gossip like Roberta Stanley."

Carlisle's response surprised me. Given the nature of their conversation, I had expected him to be mad and yell at my mom but when he did speak, he sounded very odd….very defeated. "Please Renee," he spoke. "I'm begging you not to tell Charlie. At least….not yet."

There was a long silence before my mom finally answered. "I'll see what I can do…."

There was some shuffling of bodies – another hug maybe? – and a long silence before the crunch of gravel on the front driveway sent us running for safety, both knowing instinctively that being caught would be a bad thing right now.

"What happens now?" I asked, fear, anger and confusion fighting for dominance as I thought about what we'd just seen. "What is going on?"

"I don't know," Edward answered, though there was a new kind of strain in his voice. It was only when I looked up that I noticed how different he suddenly looked, not like _my_ Edward anymore.

He was so angry that it was starting to make me a little bit afraid of him, his whole frame shaking with pent up rage as he inclined his head toward the sound of a car retreating over the gravel driveway coming from the front of the house.

"Edward?" I tried grabbing his hand but he pulled away from me before I came even close to touching him.

"I think you'd better go home, Bella," he spoke with a new kind of harshness to his voice, making me realize that some of his anger was directed at me. Simply because of who I was or – better said – because of who my mother was. "I'm sure that if you run fast enough you can catch your whore of a mother on her way out."

"W-what?" I stammered through my tears, wondering desperately if I'd ever get my Edward back. This wasn't what was supposed to happen. We were supposed to be together, no matter what kind of obstacles life would throw in our way. It wasn't supposed to go like this.

"You heard me," he growled over his shoulder before making a beeline for the backdoor, leaving me to my fears and misery. "Get the hell away from me!"

_This had changed everything. _

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_**Poor Bella! There's no way she's going to get that kiss now. **_

_**The next chapter will pick up in 'present day', which is about ten years further down the line. It will have a first peek into the mind of Lawyerward and will reveal something about what happened after the events of the prologue. One thing I can say is that Edward and Bella are not related in any way shape or form. That's all I'm going to say for now, though. **_

_**For this story I'm aiming to update on Tuesdays. Follow me on twitter if you want updates on my updates (giggle, that sounds funny!), tweasers, pretty pictures of Rob and just the ordinary random musings. I'm missbaby25 on there. **_

_**As Always: loved it? Hated it? Please let me know. **_


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. I am in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise, I just use their creations to have my wicked way with them. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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_**This story wouldn't be what it is without my wonderful beta, **_**The Real Teacher**_**, holding my hand and correcting my many errors. Thank you so much!**_

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**- 1 -**

"Gentlemen!" Joe hollered as I entered the bar. Judging by the redness in his cheeks and the way his words came out with a slight slur the party had been going on for quite some time. "I believe we are in the presence of genius tonight!"

"Fuck off!" I yelled back, as I waded through the masses to order a beer at the bar, carefully trying not to get any shit spilled on my new – and fucking expensive – tailored suit.

"Such modesty!" Joe gushed, the whole bar now following our exchange like it was the World Cup final instead of just a bunch of snooty ass lawyers.

"You'd hardly guess that this…." He nearly fell off his barstool as he indicated towards me, looking more like an air hostess pointing out the emergency exits than the serious criminal lawyer he was by day. "…this _beautiful_ man….just won his first solo case!"

I couldn't decide whether to bow or run for the nearest exit as the whole bar started to applaud, the crowds parting like the Dead Sea as I made my way over to the group of immaculately clad, tipsy lawyers standing to the back of the room, their hoots and catcalls stopping only when I reached them.

"Thank you! Thank you!" I spoke in my best imitation of an old-fashioned ringmaster, bowing to the group of colleagues as soon as I reached them.

"Congrats, man!" Joe chuckled, patting me on the back as he pulled me into their circle. "It's not every day that you win your first solo case. I feel like a proud mother goose now."

Joe was an acquired taste. When I spend my first summer as an intern at the firm, I hated his guts because he was nothing if not brutally honest and obnoxiously present. Now thirty-nine years old he had been the youngest associate ever to be offered partnership in the firm of Young and LaFayette a couple of years ago, which was something he was exceedingly proud of. He had every right to be. For a small town boy growing up on a large farm he'd come very far, even though not even seven years at Harvard and almost fifteen years of trying cases before the bar had been able to knock the farm boy out of the lawyer. He remained true to his roots and it suited him, though it sometime annoyed the hell out of the poor people who had to work with him.

And those people included myself.

Joe had been my mentor from the first day I'd stumbled out of the elevator, slightly wide-eyed and more cocky than I had a right to be, and had been the driving force behind the offer to join the firm as a regular employee.

"Thanks man," I replied, basking in the praise of my colleagues. "I only wish my client would have been half as happy about my success as you are."

"That's Marvin for ya!" Lauren chimed in with a snort. "Get him locked up and you'll never hear the end of it, but if you actually manage to get him acquitted the only thing you're going to see is his ass walking out of the door without as much as a 'thank you'."

"You know Marvin?" I asked.

"Please!" Jimmy added. "There's a reason Peter and Charlotte chose this one to be your first solo case. Defending Marvin Nichols is like a rite of passage in the office."

I frowned, suddenly not so proud of my success anymore. "So you all…."

"Yep," Joe nodded, his arm once again resting on my shoulders. "But I can't say all of us were as lucky as you were though."

"No," Lauren snickered, poking Joe's rather rotund stomach. "_You_ can't say that, no. What was it that judge called you again?"

I looked around in confusion, knowing I was out of the loop on something, when Lauren's statement had everyone else rolling over the floor with laughter. Finally noticing my confusion she bent over to me and whispered an explanation. "Joe completely screwed up his first case he ever tried before the bench because he was so nervous he couldn't even tie his shoelaces, let alone get poor Marvin a decent outcome. He was so bad that the judge threatened to have his ass disbarred if he didn't sort out his shit real soon."

"Ouch, woman," Joe complained, rubbing the spot where she spoke him. "Easy on the ego or you might find yourself without a defender of your character the next time they call you the office bitch!"

Lauren shrugged. She didn't mind being called a bitch so much, especially not since it meant most of the interns and clerks thought twice before screwing up around her or informing Peter Young and Charlotte Lafayette that two of their employees were definitely breaking the 'no fraternization' policy. "Don't worry baby. I'll stroke your ego tonight." She leaned in, mock whispering the next part in his ear so loudly I was more than able to hear it word for word. "Or _any_ other part of you that feels in need of a little attention."

"Get a room, you two!" I growled. "Or I may forget that I promised not to rat on you two!"

"My humble apologies," Joe snorted, disentangling himself from the intimate position he and his girlfriend had gotten caught up in. "How can I make it up to you?"

I tipped my empty glass at him. "Another one of these would suffice."

"Fair enough," he shrugged before disappearing in the crowd only to come back in record time with a tray full of fresh beers for our table.

"What are we drinking to?" Lauren asked, all eyes suddenly cuing in on me.

I flashed them a smile – the one I only brought out on special occasions – as I raised my glass. "To world domination, of course!"

"Here! Here!" Joe boasted, downing his beer in one big gulp and slamming it on the table, thereby revealing his humble country boy heritage. "_Ad fundum_, ladies and gentlemen! That's the only way this shit goes down!"

I still felt on top of the world when I got home, which made walking into my empty, sparsely decorated bachelor pad kind of a downer. It wasn't like I was living in some kind of dump or anything, rather the opposite really, but you'd only have to take one look at my apartment to know where I spend most of my time.

Not there.

It was a good thing I never kept anything perishable in my fridge or I would have been greeted by more than just the stale air and hollow sound of my footsteps on the marble floor as I entered the place, wondering when I'd last been there.

Days ago, that was for sure. Apart from Wednesday's casual fuck, the last two nights had been spent getting my closing arguments ready and – mostly – doing some research work for Joe. He was prepping up to bring a whale of a case to trial, which meant that a lot of scud-work had to be done in preparation and – like always – that work was fielded to the lowly ranks of interns and associates like myself. By the time me and the rest of the team had finished we'd just crashed on one of the sofas in the office, none of us wanting to waste precious sleeping time on our journey home.

I guess that was why so many of us were still single or dating other lawyers.

Not wanting to be reminded of my lack in action – well, at least the permanent and meaningful kind – I mechanically went through the motions of stripping out of my clothes while the water heated up only to jump into the steam filled shower cabin a few minutes later hoping that a nice hot soak and a good wank would relieve some tension and make me stay awake long enough to scoff down a frozen dinner.

I felt better when I was done, though not as good as I was supposed to be feeling considering my recent triumph. It was like something was off….There was some kind of tension in the air that I couldn't really place or counteract.

Strange.

Pulling a random frozen dinner out of the freezer and staring at the microwave as it rotated inside, I made a mental tour around birthdays, anniversaries and other social landmarks or appointments on my calendar, trying to remember if there was anything I'd forgotten.

Nothing.

I shrugged, pulling the ready meal out of the microwave and dumping the contents onto a plate to take with me to the living room. It must have been my mind acting up on me.

No sooner had I settled in front of the TV and taken a bite out of my rather tasteless chicken tikka masala, the phone started ringing.

"Gimme a break!" I growled, deciding that the damned thing was too far away to bother getting up. _The machine would get it._

I regretted my decision the minute my answering machine picked up the call and my mom's distressed voice crashed through the silence. _"Edward? Edward, are you home? It's me. Please…if you're there….pick up." _

That was when I knew something must have happened, because in all my life I couldn't remember hearing my mom upset like that. The times she'd cried in front of me could be counted on the fingers of one hand and even then she'd always remained the picture of dignified grief and understated elegance, a picture rammed into the essence of her being from the moment she was born.

Esme Platt-Cullen wasn't the kind of person to be upset. And yet here she was….

It took me less than minute to cross the room and grab the phone.

"Mom?" I breathed. Still chewing my way through a bite of rubbery chicken. "I'm here!"

My mom's voice answered immediately. "Thank God!"

"What's wrong?" I demanded, suddenly wishing we weren't living on opposite ends of the country.

She took a deep breath, the line silent for longer than bearable before she continued. "It's your father….Oh, Edward…It's terrible!"

"What the hell is going on?" I cried. "Has something happened to you? To dad?"

"It's…." she stammered. "Your father…Carlisle…he's been arrested."

"W-what?" I stammered. "What the hell for?" The chances of the great Carlisle Cullen risking his precious career and social standing were about as large as those of both Elvis and Jim Morrison still being alive and recording a tribute to the Beatles together.

My mom's voice sounded even more broken when she answered. "They say…." There was a sob on the other end of the line and some deep, muffled breaths before she managed to control her emotions again. "They're saying he killed someone…"

"What?" I yelled. "How is that even ….." I knew better than to yell at my mom, especially at a time like this, but this was all so….I couldn't even begin to wrap my head around it.

"I don't know, Edward," she answered softly. "All I know is that they found a dead girl at his pied-à-terre early this afternoon and arrested Carlisle soon afterwards which was…..an hour ago? Two?"

I still couldn't believe what she was saying. Sure, my dad was a coldhearted son of a bitch, that much I'd known since high school, but I never in a million years thought him capable of homicide, not even if it would stand to further his career. There had to be some kind of mistake, some horrible cosmic joke or…

"It was so horrible, Edward," my mom continued. "From what I heard they all but yanked him out of his OR and dragged him out of the hospital in handcuffs for the entire world to see."

I know how important that last bit was to my mom. Charity work was her life and therefore her success rested heavily on her standing in society. And even her social standing meant nothing to her….she still loved the asshole, in spite of all his shortcomings. This whole thing was crushing her poor compassionate heart.

I pinched the bridge of my nose, trying to think like a lawyer and not like a momma's boy.

"Wait a minute…how did the girl end up in his apartment anyway?"

"She was one of his students," my mother answered too quickly. It was as if she'd seen this question coming which, me being who I was, shouldn't be so surprising. After all, mom had grown up around lawyers. "They are saying…that she was more than that."

I let out a low growl. "How could he have been so stupid?" There was no doubt in my mind that my dad would jump on one of his pretty interns if he got the chance. I might have gone out of my way to avoid him for the last couple of years, but I'd still spend enough time around him to know what he was like with women. He liked the chase…..as well as the catch.

"How can you say something like that, Edward? You're speaking as if you're not completely convinced of his innocence!" mom cried. "You, of all people, should know he could never harm a human being. Least of all a woman!"

I sighed, remembering the pride in my mother's eyes when she'd told me about how my dad had saved her from a violent past relationship. He'd fought for her, even when Esme herself had given up the fight and thus had become something of a champion of women in abusive relationships.

He might not have hurt her," I admitted reluctantly, "but still, I don't think she ended up at his apartment by accident."

"Edward," she sighed. "I know you're very much set in your convictions about your dad, but I still think he never sinned against his marriage vows. Not then, not now."

I barely held back the growl. My saint of a mother might not have deemed him capable of that but I knew otherwise. In fact: I'd seen it empirically proven right before my eyes.

"Who's handling his defense?" I went on, taking our conversation back to the case. "Uncle Eli?"

"No, he's left the case to Garrett, being that he's too personally involved in it," my mom explained.

_That or he doesn't want to burn his fingers and his good reputation on it_, I thought. After all, it was one thing to see your baby sister sink into the swamp of a bad marriage to a bad man, but it was quite another to jump in after her.

"Good," I nodded. "Garrett's an excellent lawyer. If there's anyone who can get Carlisle out of this mess it's him." With Garrett Masen being the other senior partner in the firm of Masen & Platt, I knew my dad would be well-defended in court. Garrett was a more than excellent lawyer and with his close ties to the Platt-family, he would make sure no chance to keep my dad out of jail would go by.

"Edward," mom pleaded. I knew how much she hated it when I had stopped calling my father 'dad' but I just couldn't get the words she so wanted to hear out of my mouth. Not even now. Not after what I'd seen.

"Stop it, mom," I warned, quickly trying to steer the conversation into safer waters again. "So, how about you? Who's taking care of you?"

I could hear the tears in her voice when she answered me, making me feel like an asshole for causing her even more grief when I should have been comforting her. "Eli's coming to pick me up in half an hour. I'll be staying at his place until…."

She didn't need to finish her sentence, the underlying hope clear enough in the way her voice trailed off. "I'll see what I can do, mom. But I can't promise anything," I sighed.

I knew what I had to do.

As happy as I was living the life I'd started to build for myself, I didn't have a moment's doubt in giving all of that up to take care of my mom. She needed me, even if she'd rather chew off an arm than ask me to give up my job for her.

"Do you think you could get some extended leave or something?" mom asked. "I'd hate for you to throw away your job when you've fought so hard to get it."

"I'll see what I can do," I sighed, knowing full well what my boss's answer would be when I asked for time off. I was going to have to choose between my family and the job I'd worked my ass off to get. "I don't want you to worry about me, though. I'm coming home, tomorrow or the day after. It won't be long.

"You have no idea how happy that makes me," her relieved voice interrupted me. "I have a feeling the next couple of days are going to be very hard…on all of us."

I caught the hidden message in her words. Of course, the press was going to have a field day on this. _Charismatic brain surgeon murders his medical student slash bit on the side? _They were not going to leave us alone until they got to the bottom of it, which meant that my mom would be reduced to a prisoner in her own home if she wanted to avoid getting hounded by those rats.

And that was only the start of it.

The police were going to want to build a case on my dad and that meant they would probably turn up with a search warrant at the house sometime soon. My mom's whole life would be turned upside down and with it she would lose everything she had built up in almost fifteen years.

Which was why, three days later, I found myself waiting in front of a baggage carousel at Sea-Tac waiting for the infernal machine to spit out my luggage.

Everything had gone just as I thought. When I'd asked Peter for some leave of absence, he'd made an elaborate speech about how the credit crunch wasn't just affecting the financial world but also the judicial system and how – with the fierce competition in Boston – they needed members of staff to put in more hours, not less.

I couldn't be mad at him, even if it meant I'd had to walk away from my dream job and the life I'd spent years trying to build. The only lucky break I got was when the guy they lined up as my replacement turned out to be quite eager to take over the lease on my apartment as well. I guess every cloud had its silver lining and all that crap.

And just like that, in a matter of days, I was unemployed and homeless while some other fucker had taken over my lovely old life.

Mom's smile lit up the minute she saw me walk though the sliding doors that separated baggage claim from the arrivals hall. The sad thing was that no amount of happiness over seeing me back in Seattle could erase the toll the past two weeks had taken on her. _Even I could see how she'd suffered. _

"Edward," she breathed, enveloping me in that motherly embrace every grown man started missing the moment he pushed his mother away somewhere during puberty. "I am so glad you're here…."

"I didn't expect to see you here," I muttered into her hair.

Her body tensed up immediately. "Those ghastly reporters have already sucked so much joy out of my life," she spoke. "I didn't want to allow them the satisfaction of denying me to welcome my own son in person."

"I'm glad you came to get me," I assured her, allowing for a moment, to let my mommy soothe me like she did when I was still a little boy in need of soothing. I felt guilty about needing her so much when I should have been strong. The effect all of this was having on mom and even myself made me hate my dad even more than I already did.

"You look horrible, by the way," mom remarked as she pulled back a little, her eyes tightening to slits as she studied me. "Don't they feed you over there in Boston? You look like skin and bones! And what on earth did you do to your hair? It looked like it hasn't seen a comb in half a century!"

"Mom!" I groaned, half expecting her to lick her hands and use the moisture to brush it into place like she had done when I was four years old. "It's supposed to be like this."

Mom looked completely baffled. "Do you mean you paid someone to make it look like a bird has built its nest on top of your head?"

"Yes," I growled, dragging my only free hand through my hair which, I was sure, didn't help a bit. "Just drop it, okay?"

And with that she extricated herself from my hold, brushed her clothes back into position and took my arm as she beamed up at me. "Let's go home."

I felt guilty, seeing her so happy when, had this dad-disaster not happened I would have gladly spent the rest of my life in Boston, flying back only for holidays and other inescapable functions and even then avoiding home as much as I could to keep any interaction with my dad to a minimum. Even now I still held hope that, once my dad's case had been settled, I would be able to find job in Boston again – preferably my old one –and move back as if none of this had happened.

Fat chance.

I followed my mom through the terminal and on to the visitor's parking spaces where her sleek little vintage MG sports car awaited us. Like me, my mom had always had a thing for fast cars, even if she hated the fact that I'd inherited that little trait from her. I snorted, arching my brow as she tore out of the parking space as if the devil was on her heels, remembering all of the times when she'd been all over me for exceeding the maximum speed by as much as a mile.

"What?" she challenged me. "I'm perfectly safe within the speed limit."

I shook my head at her, though I loved seeing her happy and carefree even if I knew it would only be for a moment. "Whatever you say mom."

The first half of our journey to Woodway, the luxury commuter refuge my parents had chosen to settle in, was spent in silence, both of us listening to the soft tones of Chopin emitting from the radio as the urban scenery passed us by. The further we advanced, though, the heavier the silence started to get until in the end it was unbearable.

Dad.

The more I'd found out about the case over the last couple of days, the more torn about it I'd become. Part of me couldn't even fathom the idea of my father killing another human being. Not after all he'd been through with my mom, not because he'd spent most of his adult life trying to save lives and not because, as his son, I didn't want to think that the man who'd tucked me in at night with stories about dragons and brave knights could be such a monster.

However, as I read up on everything the newspapers had to offer on the case I had to admit that all of the evidence was pointing in his direction. The girl was found behind the locked door of his apartment, raped and stabbed to death by someone who, according to the Seattle Times, 'knew what he was doing'. My dad had been the last person to see her alive and, according yet again to the Seattle Times, the only one who had been seen entering and exiting the apartment on the CCTV surveillance tape of the night of the murder.

"How's dad holding up?" I asked, as I caught another one of my mom's wistful glances in my direction. "His arraignment was this morning, wasn't it?"

My mom sighed, her knuckles white as she tightened her grip on the steering wheel. "He was denied bail."

"What?" I breathed, turning towards her as if that would somehow explain matters. "On what grounds?"

"The judge determined that the risk of your father using his many resources to escape the state or the country was too substantial to set him free to await bail at home," mom answered monotonously. "Garrett is already working on his appeal."

I nodded, wondering what the hell had gone on in that court room. This was all just a fucking joke! There was no way a man as high profile as my dad could make a run for it with the assembled press hot on his case like I was sure they'd be. That judge must have been out of his fucking mind!

"Calm down, Edward," my mom spoke softly, her hand reaching out to grab mine. "Throwing another one of your fits isn't going to do anything towards getting your father out of prison."

My temper had always been an issue for me. I was hot headed to say the least and when provoked I would more often than not say things I'd later come to regret. Over the years I'd learned to curb my aggression since the only thing it would get me was a disbarment and turn it into determination to win my cases but it had never quite gone away.

"I know," I sighed, focusing my eyes on the horizon as I took measured breaths to calm myself down again. "How's dad holding up, though?"

Mom sighed again and, as I shot a sideways glance at her, I noticed how much older she looked. "He is as well as can be expected. He remains hopeful, though, that Garrett will be able to get him released on house arrest, or whatever that may mean….or that the DA's office will cease this ridiculous charade altogether."

I held my tongue, not wanting to dash my mother's hopes that all of this would blow over and would be forgotten. Garrett would have his hands full trying to swing enough members of the jury to get a _reasonable doubt_ as it was. The DA would be out of his mind if he'd even be willing to discuss a plea bargain.

I wouldn't.

"Edward?" my mom's voice shook me out of my thoughts and I looked up to see her watch me in confusion. I asked you a question."

"Sorry, I was miles away."

"Do you know what this electronic house arrest Garrett is talking about entails?" she repeated.

"Basically they release you from prison to stay at home, with an ankle bracelet monitoring your whereabouts through an alarm system fitted inside the home to alert the police when you try to leave the premises," I explained. "It's quite effective and it also keeps our prisons from overcrowding any more than they already do. That is, when judges will actually get their heads out of their asses long enough to put them to use."

"So basically he will just exchange one prison for another," my mom concluded, disregarding my crass remark. "Will he still be able to go to work?"

I let out a snort. "No, of course not. That's what house-arrest is all about."

For someone as worldly and educated as my mom claimed to be, she could sometimes be so naïve. "I think dad's position at the hospital has to be considered lost anyway because I seriously doubt they'd have him back, even if Garrett does manage to get him off the hook."

"Whatever happened to presumed innocent until proven guilty?" Mom sighed and turned her attention towards the scenery, thereby effectively ending our conversations for now.

But not for long.

"I spoke to Uncle Eli earlier today," my mom remarked after another round of silence, the city landscape now slowly giving way to a more rural scenery. The tone of her voice ruled out that it had been about my father's case. No, this was about the case my mom had been arguing ever since I'd made my intention of becoming a lawyer known.

I stifled a smile. I'd been expecting this conversation ever since I'd quit my job though I had to admit that I hadn't expected it to take place so soon. "Did he have anything new to say?" I replied, trying to appear as disinterested as I could.

"I think he wants to offer you a job," my mom continued enthusiastically.

I brushed a non-existent fleck of dust from my suit jacket. "Oh, really?"

She narrowed her eyes at me, probably having called me on my bluff the minute I'd started bluffing. "Don't be difficult, Edward. You know as well as I do that _that_ is the place you belong. The firm of Masen & Platt has been a family affair ever since it was founded…."

I knew the rest of her speech by heart but I still failed to see why it would be me that had to suffer the burden of expectation just because I'd been the only one of Grandpa Platt's grandchildren foolish enough to pursue a career in law which only happened after my dad had gone from hero to zero in the span of a few minutes.

When I was young I idolized my dad. There was something so cool about saving lives all day and then coming home to be a family man. It was almost as cool as Superman, though slightly more realistic and – thank God – didn't involve and unholy amount of blue and red spandex, and I wanted to be just like him when I grew up.

But then Renee-gate happened, knocking my dad right off his pedestal and ruining the once very strong bond between me and him forever.

I'd spent the remainder of my first year at high school in hiding. Since my relationship with Bella had come to a sudden and very nasty end, the town was pretty much off limits for the rest of the year. God only knew I didn't need to run into my former future father in law – who hadn't been a member of the Edward Cullen fan club even when I was still dating his daughter – or any of the other members of Team Bella.

Home wasn't very safe either since I kept expecting Renee – a.k.a. the Whore of Babylon –Swan to turn up any moment or my mom to start asking questions, so I did what many a teenage boy had done before me: I hid out in my room with the stereo cranked up so loudly it made the windows vibrate in their panes.

The offer to spend the summer holiday at my Uncle Eli's house in Seattle couldn't have come at a better time, though if I had known what would happen I doubt I would have accepted it. Uncle Eli was a very kind and cultured man and – to my sixteen year old self – the heated discussions we had about just about every topic known to man were a breath of fresh air. He was the one who taught me how to build up an argument and be charming and engaging while still presenting people with facts instead of hollow phrases. It was an art, and one I wanted to perfect.

But not necessarily under his wings.

"Last time I checked, the name on my birth certificate was neither Masen nor Platt…" I started to argue, only to be stopped by the withering glare my mom send me.

"You will come round," she warned me. "I know you, Edward. You know as well as I do that you can't sit still for long…."

She was right, of course. The minute I boarded my plane in Boston, I knew I'd probably never see the city again. I knew that as soon as the Platt's – and I considered my mom to still be one of them – would get their hands at me, I'd be carefully argued into submission until one day I found myself a junior partner in the family firm with a pretty starter wife, a golden retriever and a nice little starter mansion to come home to.

"We're almost there," my mom announced after a while. And sure enough, when I looked out of the window all I could see where the leafy surroundings of Woodway, one of those picturesque little havens of peace and tranquility the rich and famous escaped to when they grew tired of the urban sprawl.

Another couple of minutes had us entering through the gates and turning into the private lane that led to my parent's home or, as I always called it, the house that never quite succeeded in feeling like home. I didn't know why.

When I returned from my stay at Uncle Eli's in the summer, the two biggest shocks of my life (well, maybe apart from the message that my dad had been arrested in suspicion of murdering and raping his young, female medical student) had awaited me. First came the message, delivered by my mom when she came to pick me up, that my dad had accepted a position at Seattle Grace Hospital and that we were to move into our new home in Woodway before the start of the school year. Second, and only right before we passed their home on our way back, came the news that over the summer the Swans had decided to get divorced and Renee and Bella had moved to Florida to go live with Renee's sister, a woman Bella had always referred to Crazy Aunt Fifi. At the end of that day, in a few short hours, everything that had been certain about my life had been destroyed and it had been with a shock that I realized how I had been partly to blame for all of it.

If I hadn't been such an asshole to Bella, she might still have been there in Forks and we might have worked it out….

I looked out of the window, seeing the large brick house overlooking the Puget Sound emerging from between the many trees and shrubs that lined the driveway. The house was beautiful and probably a mile up from the one in Forks I'd grown up in. It had that whole, European royalty shit going on and with my mom spending every single free hour she had – and there were many – either decorating the house or working on the garden it was no surprise that the interior design mafia was clamoring at the door to run eight page spread features and other kinds of craptasticly raving reports on how 'perfect and enchanting yet still very homely and intimate' it all looked. Still, in all those years it had never quite managed to 'enchant' me.

I wondered if that was because I'd never seen it through Bella's eyes…

I sighed, realizing that once again my mind had drifted back to the past. It must have been because I was back here, surrounded by all the people and the memories from that time, or I was growing old and sentimental way before my time. I knew there and then I had to take Uncle Eli up on his offer, even if it was only to keep me from going out of my mind.

"I've emptied the bedroom next to yours," mom spoke as we pulled up in front of the door. "I figured you might want some privacy to work…or entertain while you are here."

"Thanks," I muttered, not having thought about the practicality of moving back into the parental pile yet.

"You can let me know what kind of colors and furniture you want for it and I'll have it arranged," she added, before excusing herself to go upstairs and freshen up for dinner while I was left to wander through the otherwise empty house.

There were testaments of my mother's loneliness everywhere, from the pictures of her and my dad in happier days accompanied by many – and I do say many – pictures of me throughout childhood and college scattered all over the house. It made me feel like the biggest failure in the world, but it also caused me to finally see the future my mother had always had in store for me as something I wanted instead of something to run from.

I wanted, more than anything, to make my mom happy. I couldn't get over how frail and broken and _not like my mom_, she had looked when I first spotted her waiting for me at the airport. If making her happy again meant that I would have to enter into the family firm and allow her to drag me off to charity functions and parade me all over her friend's parties so that their daughters could drool all over my ass and other crap that made my skin crawl then so be it.

_Yes, I concluded with a snort, the prodigal son had returned. _

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_**I know, I know. How many riddles can a girl cram into two chapters? I will soon start giving you some answers, I promise, and in due time you'll find out how the prologue and this chapter fit together.**_

_**Loved it? Hated it? Please let me know. **_

_**Next up: Bella. How has she fared in the years that have passed?**_


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. I am in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise, I just use their creations to have my wicked way with them. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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_**Are you all as excited about seeing Eclipse as I am? Only about 20 more hours until I get to see the leg hitch!**_

_**This story wouldn't be what it is without my wonderful beta, **_**The Real Teacher**_**, holding my hand and correcting my many errors. Thank you so much!**_

_**Thanks everyone for reviewing and giving this story a shot! I love reading all of your lovely words and theories about what happened. **_

_**A special word of thanks to **_**TG10781**_** for rec'ing Absolution in the latest chapter of **_**An Angel Closes her Eyes**_**.**_

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**- 2 -**

"Bells?" His voice sounded miles away and I couldn't say hearing it was altogether pleasant, not when it disrupted a very pleasant dream that involved me and that hot Viking vampire from _True Blood_ and all sorts of acts of debauchery.

"Urh!" I groaned, before hiding my face in the pillow, hoping it would somehow make Vampire Eric and his magical peen return.

Not quite.

Instead my reluctance to wake up only spurred Jacob on even further, his huge paw like hands grabbing my leg and shaking it until I couldn't ignore it any longer. "You better have washed those hands!" I grumbled under my breath, pulling my pillow over my head to block out the light. I'd learned how hard it was to wash away a handprint made my engine grease.

Damned boyfriend and his love for cars. Why couldn't he have chosen a cleaner profession? Or at least one that didn't have the house littered with unidentifiable pieces of car all the time?

While I kept on grumbling about him from under my trusty pillow, Jake had started to put a little more effort behind his attempt to get me out of bed, his hands now pulling so hard that, had I not been holding onto the headboard for dear life, he would have dragged me off the bed by my legs.

_This was so not what I intended when I told him we should try to get a little bit more adventurous in the bedroom. _

"Fuck off, Jake!" I growled, my eyes squinting against the light as I finally gave in and pushed the pillow away. "Can't you see I'm busy?"

He snorted, his eyes shining with humor as he had the audacity to laugh at me to my face. "With what, exactly?"

"What does it look like?" I grumbled. "Sleeping!"

"O-kay," he replied, rolling his eyes. "But before you bite my head off, have you looked at the clock lately?"

"Wha?" I croaked, my still sleepy eyes slowly focusing on the red numbers blinking at me from the bedside table.

Well, that got me awake.

"Fuck!" I gasped. It was already seven AM. I'd wanted to be in my car and well under way by this time, not still stuck in bed with naked pretty vampires occupying my head.

"Figured as much," Jake snickered, barely avoiding the pillow I flung at his head. "When you're done running around like a chicken with its head cut off, there's coffee in the kitchen. I'll be at the shop fixing that old piece of junk of yours when you're ready to leave."

I only heard half of what he was saying, seeing as I was way too busy completing my mad dash around the room in my effort to retrieve a clean – or clean enough – outfit for the day's drive back to Seattle and my shower things.

I knew I should have been responsible and laid everything out last night when I was still lucid, instead of giving into Jake's evil schemes of getting me into bed for another round of unsatisfactory sex.

It was a lesson I'd learned early on in our relationship: if I wanted to get as much out of our lovemaking as Jake did, I'd have to take care of it.

It was a shame, really. For someone with a piece of equipment as impressive as Jake, the boy sure was clueless when it came to using it. The poor boy couldn't find a clitoris with a navigation system telling him where to go. And would he listen to my advice? No, of course not. Why would you listen to the one and only expert on getting herself off in your relationship when you were convinced that just sticking your junk inside her and pumping into her like a maniac would surely do the trick?

The poor boy didn't have a clue, and with me being too nice (and too chicken shit) to tell it like it was and my carefully dropped hints going completely unnoticed, it looked like me and my hand were going to be best friends from now on. As long as I managed to stealthily get myself off before Jacob reached his moment of glory, it might not be so bad anyway.

"Yeah, keep telling yourself that, Swan," I grumbled, stepping under the spray for a quick shower. It was a good thing my mom wasn't there at that moment or she would have launched into a two hour lecture about the importance of a satisfactory sex life.

Hell, she might even have dragged Jake out of his precious car repair shop, scrubbed him clean of grime and given him a 'hands on' lesson on how to properly satisfy a woman. God knew she was crazy enough to do it.

Living with Crazy Fifi for an extended period of time would do that to a person.

It was a shame that our sex life was such a dud, because I really loved Jacob. Or, better said, I liked the idea of him, of what he could give to me. He made me feel safe, secure and cared for (except on that one point) accepted my crazy family members – which was no small feat – and – most importantly – I knew he would never break my heart.

We'd been in a relationship for going on two years now and had been friends for the better part of a year before that. Everybody was always raving about how great a couple we made, with Jake's tall, tones and roguishly handsome appearance and my brains and spontaneity (or complete lack of filter) completing the deal. It was expected, especially by Jake, that we would get married as soon as I was done with college next year and that, within another five years or so, our yard would be filled with tiny little mechanics running around getting engine grease on every damned surface.

As appealing as that prospect appeared to be, though, I wasn't quite certain whether or not it was what I wanted. I knew that, realistically speaking, I would never find a great guy like Jake again in my whole life but still….living in Forks, taking care of the house, the kids and the garage's administration wasn't exactly what I'd dreamed off when I was young.

Thus the reason why I'd been walking around in a state of panic all summer while I spent my days living with Jake in the small house he owned across the yard from his precious car shop. Was this really what I wanted my life to be?

_Damn you, Renee!_

My whole life, my mother had hammered into me that tying yourself down was just about the worst thing you could do as a young woman. _She'd_ done it and look where that got her….shacking up with a quite possibly deranged relative and her smelly, hyperactive horde of tiny fucking dogs in a place where the guy selling fake designer handbags was the sanest person in town.

I sighed to myself, pouring coffee into a mug Jake had already set out for me on the kitchen counter. I really should be more grateful to my mom and her unorthodox approach to motherhood. After all, it got me to where I was right now: a hyper-independent and pretty much self-sufficient (even in the bedroom) journalism-major on her way to greatness (or not). If anything, at least I could boast of having seen more of the world than most of my classmates.

When disaster struck – and boy did it strike – forcing me to lose both my boyfriend and my faith in holy matrimony in the span of a few months, I could never have imagined my future would be quite so…Technicolor bright.

My mom, never one to focus on the bad things, tried to think of her divorce not as the end of something, but just as an exciting new beginning; an opportunity to finally explore the many things she'd always wanted to find out. She would have moved us to San Francisco, the promise land of every hippie this nation had spawned, but since that went above and beyond her humble budget, we had to settle for second best: shacking up with crazy Aunt Fiona and her nine Jack Russell Terriers in Venice Beach.

_Yes. Nine_.

For someone as flaky as Renee, she took her parenting duties very serious. Her tactics might have been a bit unorthodox and sometimes slightly ridiculous – like that one time she'd packed me off to the dessert for summer camp with a bunch of complete whack jobs she'd met at the local community center to 'find myself' when in reality the only thing that could be found in the sweltering heat and boring, sandy landscape were cactuses and untimely death due to dehydration – but I wouldn't have traded them for the world because in the end they had made me into what I was: a unique individual. And in a world where most people only seemed to be interested in blending in and being as normal as possible, that was something to be proud about.

Or so my mom had always claimed.

Not that sometimes I didn't really crave normalcy. In fact, that craving was one of the reasons why, after high school, I had decided to go back to Washington for college. Living near my dad and his new family and finally finding my own way in the world would give me the opportunity to do some things I was sure my mom would frown upon. Like eat fast food or watch a non-indie movie or enter into a relationship with a boy that was meant to last longer than the average _Lord of the Rings_ movie.

So after spending four years in Venice I said goodbye to the sun and traveled back to the rainy state of Washington to start my college education. But not without my mom giving me a proper sendoff, of course.

An eight month long sendoff.

For as long as I could remember, she'd always had the plan to spend the summer after graduation with me on a trip to discover the true nature of the United States of America. It was going to be the culmination of every single lesson I'd learned, whether in school or at home, and would be our final hurrah before she would relinquish me into the hands of corporate America (as far as she was concerned, any kind of organization recognized as such by the government – including colleges, newspapers and whatnot – belonged to 'corporate' America) and, of course, my dad.

She'd dropped me off at the end of the trip but not before making me promise I would never forget what I'd seen or who I was and the great things I could do if only I kept reminding myself that freedom was the greatest gift a young woman could ever possess.

And here I was, three years later, tied down in every way possible.

I smiled wryly, stirring my coffee before gulping down the last bit of heavenly magic wake-up potion as my thoughts drifted back to the future.

_At least I had another year to think about it before I had to make up my mind. _

When I was done stuffing the last of my belongings into my already overstuffed bag I poured another cup of coffee into the traveling mug I'd bought especially to sustain me during the long trips between Forks and Seattle, dragged my luggage onto the front porch and headed over to the dilapidated shed Jacob called his 'car shop'.

Really, it asked a lot of the imagination to call it a shop when it didn't even have windows in it. Still, Jake loved it. He'd always been crazy about tinkering with cars and seeing as there were no other auto-repair shops in town, it was only logical that his shed soon turned into a the makeshift garage. And, believe it or not, it thrived.

"Did you manage to fix Jerry up for me?" I asked as soon as I'd located my boyfriend under the hood of a ramshackle Ford explorer.

Jake's head appeared from underneath the car. "Barely. You know, you should really think about replacing it one day…." He looked at my 1957 Chevy pick-up truck, dubbed Jerry Garcia by my mom a long time ago for reasons she couldn't even remember, with a barely veiled disgust.

"No way!" I scowled, my bad mood returning with frenzy now that Jake seemed dead set on having this conversation _again_. It had been the same old song for as long as I knew him. "Jerry has been in my family for decades. He has kept both Renee and me company during many lonely hours on the road. I will not discard him as if he's no better than some standard old soccer mom car!"

"I doubt _he_ will show the same kind of allegiance to you," Jake replied, rolling his eyes at me. "It might have been a fine truck once, a long time ago, but right now _it's_ a piece of junk that can break down any minute."

"And that's why I'm always armed with my trusty cell phone and Triple A card," I spat back. I always hated it when people dissed on Jerry. He might have been a little worse for wear – _okay, a lot_ – but to me it held so many memories that I couldn't even think about getting rid of it. Jerry was a member of the family. And the Swans were anything if not loyal to their own.

"God, Bella," Jake groaned, dragging his oily hand through his longish black hair. "Am I really such an asshole for not wanting to see my girlfriend stranded by the side of the road?"

I sighed, walking over to him and placing a kiss on the tip of his nose, the only bit of skin I could spot that wasn't stained by oil, grime or God only knew what else, hoping it would placate him. "You're not," I admitted. "Let's just drop it, okay? I don't want to spend the last minutes before I have to head back to Seattle fighting with you."

It was a low blow, and I hated myself for resorting to emotional blackmail at a time like that. It was just that I feared arguing through another round of 'you should give up your crappy yet beautiful old car in exchange for some generic piece of shit'. Not right now, at least.

Jake sighed, his arms wrapping around my wrist as he rested his forehead against mine. "You're right. We shouldn't fight at a time like this. Not when I'm going to spend the next couple of weeks missing you like hell."

He looked at me with that dejected puppy-dog look he always sported when it was time for me to get back to Seattle after spending time in Forks, the honesty in his voice making me feel like even more of a bitch for doubting my future with him.

The guy was in love with me, for crying out loud! He was good-looking, strong, had a great sense of humor and my dad loved him. Why couldn't I?

"I'm going to miss you too, Jake," I sighed. It was the truth, even though it may not have been the whole truth. I really was going to miss him terribly when I got back to Seattle. There was no way that, between classes, work and being a journalist, I could come back for many weekends between now and Christmas and there was only so much you could do over the phone. Still, there was also a part of me – the part that got extremely claustrophobic in Forks – that couldn't wait to be alone for a while again.

"It's only for one more year," Jake spoke, as much to himself as to me, as he leaned in for a goodbye kiss. "We can get through another year, can't we?"

"I guess," I nodded, before his lips touched down on mine. For someone as lousy in bed as Jake was, he sure was an amazing kisser. It just another thing about him I couldn't get enough of, well, maybe except for the blatant ogling of his chest and his jokes.

"I'll miss you, Bella," he muttered, when we finally came back up for air. "Give me a call when you arrive in Seattle so that I know my girl is safe."

"Aww, Jake! You always say the sweetest things!" I snorted, rolling my eyes at his blatant display of being all caveman-like.

"What?" he cried. "With that piece of junk of yours I have every reason to be worried!"

"Fine," I grumbled, getting into my car. "I'll talk to you later."

Before I could get on my way to Seattle – _home_ – though, I had to take care of another loose end at my dad's house so instead of turning onto the 101 towards Seattle, I had to drive in the opposite direction toward town first.

I tried not to look to my left as, I made my way into town, I drove passed the narrow, overgrown lane that used to hold my entire universe. Cullen Manor, as Edward and I used to call it was at the end of that lane. I missed it, and the love and happiness attached to the time I got to spend there. It was strange that, even after so many years, the Cullens still held such a large place in my heart when I should be angry and resentful about everything they stood for.

A marriage destroyed.

A heart broken.

A future that would never be the same again.

I couldn't hate them, though. Hell, I couldn't even hate him, not even after he'd left me scared and alone in a darkening forest. But I couldn't quite forget them either…not with everything around town reminding me of those days when I still believed parents were infallible and boyfriends were nothing short of superhero's.

I chuckled at my own naivety as I drove to the little white house on the edge of town, where my dad and his new family lived, and remembering Renee's wise words.

_Looking back only serves to give you a pain in the neck. _

My mom liked to describe my family as a set of beautiful and unique individuals, though to the outside world that probably translated more among the lines of 'bunch of weirdo's' or 'circus freaks'. I still wasn't sure which description I found most fitting.

Renee Higginbotham had always lamented the fact that she had been born about a decade too late to experience the sixties in all their flower power glory but, undeterred by the fact that instead of San Francisco in the 1960's she forced to spend her teenage years in 1970's Forks, she set to work bringing the message of peace, love and understanding to the good people of small town Washington.

Most of them weren't impressed. _Most_ of them, except for my father.

My grandparents weren't so enthusiastic when, on the eve of graduating from nurse's college in Seattle, my mom's ideals of free love had finally caught up with her after she'd so thoroughly put them into practice with Charlie Swan, her boyfriend of two weeks and three years her junior, during a weekend spend back home. Four weeks later found my mom walking down the aisle in a very hippietastic purple wedding gown with extra stomach space and a face that read thunder, while my dad was in his best (and new) suit looking like he'd won the lottery.

Seeing as she was never going to get out of Forks now (which was one of the reasons why my mom was so sullen on her wedding day, the other being that the wedding was held in the morning and she'd just had a severe round of morning sickness) Renee threw herself in all kinds of passions while my father let go of his hopes of becoming the first college graduate in the family and followed in my grandfather's footsteps to join the police force to provide for his new family.

It was the first of many things my parents fought about.

Being the staunch hippie that she was, Renee would have been happier if my dad had announced he was going to be a career criminal. Working for _'the man'_ was something she saw almost as a betrayal of everything she – and by default also the people around her – believed in. As time went by she did manage to live with it, though. The fact that dad put food on the table and a roof over our head whereas her charity work never brought in a penny, might have had something to do with it. Peace, love and understanding were nice and all, but at the end of the day you don't want your only child to sleep under a bridge.

"Hey dad!" I called as I entered the house.

My dad looked up from his paper for just the slightest hint of a moment to acknowledge me. "Hey Bells. Shouldn't you be on the road?"

I chuckled, knowing not to be offended by the lack of interest. I'd learned from an early age that there was nothing that came between my dad and his morning paper. "I overslept. I'm just here to pick up that sculpture Sue needed delivered and then I'll be off."

"Kay," Charlie nodded, his eyes still perusing the local news. "Do you have time to say goodbye to your old man on your way out?"

I snorted. "Sure dad. And you're not that old, by the way."

I could hear his chuckle as I crossed the house to the small conservatory that had been added on to the main house a few years ago. "You tell Sue that!"

As I made my way through the house I still wondered how my dad had managed to find another completely whacky woman to take her place, after his marriage to my mom had ended. Where did he find them? Was there some weirdo gathering spot somewhere in the woods that I didn't know about?

Sue, who had been married to my dad for a couple of years now, was a little younger than him, but still old enough to have given birth to two kids who were now in their early teens and buried her husband after he'd suffered a fatal heart attack.

"Sue?" I called out over the mess of artsy wood and other even more exuberant pieces that occupied the conservatory, also known as my stepmom's studio. It was always the best method in finding my step-mom, who was even tinier than I was, underneath the mess that occupied the small room.

There was a loud bang, followed by an even louder string of profanities before a beautiful tanned face rose to the surface from underneath a table. "Hi Bella," she smiled still rubbing the sore spot on her head. "I've got your things over here. All wrapped up and protected."

Everything about Sue – from the messy long hair, the slender frame, the paint and dust-stained clothes and the bare feet – screamed artist. Which, considering she was one, wasn't so surprising. Heralding from the nearby Quileute-reservation she'd always been fascinated by the tribe's history and – even more so – it's art. However, up until she'd lost her husband, her fascination always remained a very passive one. When Harry died, though, she needed an outlet for her grief and anger and creating abstract pieces based on the traditional Quileute art became it. And she was good at it, so good even, that she'd managed to make a very decent living out of it for years now.

"The address is on the box," Sue explained as she handed it over to me. "And just tell them to contact me if there's anything wrong with it or if they would like to change it or…."

I chuckled. Even after all those years of being a full-time artist, Sue was still nervous as hell when she had to part with one of her babies. I think that was why she was so eager to have me be her mailman and deliver the few pieces some rich guy in Seattle had commissioned instead of using the actual postal service. "I'm sure they will love it, Sue. Everyone does."

Sue nodded before enveloping me in a motherly hug. "I can't believe you're leaving already. Summer has flown by."

"I know," I chuckled, though to me it was more of a relief to be away from Forks again. "Though I think those two little demons of yours have a lot to do with that."

Sue chuckled. "They do keep me busy, but what are you going to do about it?"

"They're not here?" I asked, wondering why Seth hadn't come down to greet me like he always did when he was home. Seth, the youngest of Sue's kids was thirteen years old now and growing into the spitting – though much less green – image of the incredible Hulk. He and I got along really well, which was more than could be said of his sister.

"Seth went out fishing with some of the kids from school," Sue explained.

"And Leah….." She let out a sigh, her eyes focusing on the staircase behind me. "Well, she's being Leah…."

There were no other explanations needed. Fifteen year old Leah had never taken well to the fact that her mom had found love again and boy did she show it. On good days, like today, she stayed up in her room listening to death metal and making herself miserable while on bad days she came downstairs to spread the misery to the rest of the family. We all hoped it was just a phase and that she eventually would snap out of it. And hopefully soon.

"Say hi to them from me," I chuckled. "Or whatever it is you say to Leah in greeting."

"I will. Do you have to be on your way already?" Sue pleaded. "I could make you some lunch…."

"I'd love to stay for a bit," I replied as I hosted the box a bit higher on my hip to make my stroll back through the house a little easier. "But I've got a meeting for _The Daily_ at six and I'm already cutting it close."

Saying goodbye to Sue and my dad took longer than expected – of course – with my dad lecturing me on safety in the big city and Sue trying to force all kinds of food on me. She must have thought Seattle had run out of it, or something.

The drive back to Seattle was as could be expected; long and boring. It was a good thing Jake had managed to fix my stereo or I would have fallen asleep halfway through. Seeing as my car, though I could tell it really wanted to, wasn't going to be of any help in my quest to make it to Seattle in time to get changed, shower and leave my luggage while still making it back to campus for the staff meeting of _The Daily _on time, I decided to drive straight to campus after dropping off Sue's package somewhere on the leafy outskirts of town. The relief a shower and the disposal of my luggage at the apartment would bring had nothing on running the risk of incurring the wrath of Rosalie Lillian Hale.

There were few people in the world I was truly scared off and I would have to say that and angry Rose topped the list. We met at the beginning of freshman year under not so nice circumstances. Because Jerry Garcia had broke down somewhere near Port Ludlow and I had to wait for hours by the side of the road before my dad could pick me up in his cruiser and drive me the rest of the way to campus, I'd crashed in the nearest bed I could find the minute I finally made my way to my dorm late that night.

What I didn't know was that said bed had already been claimed by my roommate.

I awoke in the middle of the night, right in time to consciously experience my face making contact with the hard wood floor before some crazy – and insanely beautiful – person whom I later discovered to be Rose, started to yell at me about good manners and all kinds of germs that might have been on my body and had now taken up shop in her new sheets. I'd never ran as fast as I had that night, retreating to the safety of the lumpy living room couch with the indefinable stains. Everything was better than sharing a room with Psycho Barbie.

I later on discovered that she was actually pretty nice if you didn't threaten her night rest and her sheets and after our rough start we managed to get through the rest of our freshman year without another bust up like that. Since we both planned to major in journalism we shared a lot of classes and our work at _The Daily_, the college newspaper we both got into as junior reporters during our first year, got us even closer together as friends. In fact, things had gone so well that we'd decided to share an apartment along with another friend of hers when the year was over. And we still would have, if she hadn't gone and fallen in love.

I was happy for her, though. Rose was my best friend and one of the few female friends I had apart from Angela, my other roommate. And Emmett was a great guy after all. It was just that I missed her.

But not enough to become suicidal.

The moment I opened the door to the offices of _The Daily_, I walked into a complete and utter carnage. People were running around like the building was on fire, the printer was spitting out paper like it had a bad case of explosive diarrhea and the whole place looked even messier than it had at the end of last year before the big summer cleanup.

I breathed in the stale air of ink, paper and panic, a huge smile breaking out on my face when I looked around me.

_It was so good to be back. _

"What the fuck is going on in here?" I cried, barely keeping my balance as some fucktard junior editor pushed me into the doorframe as he ran past me with a stack of old newspapers. As much as I enjoyed the chaos around me, it wasn't a normal thing for it to appear this early into the academic year.

"There you are!" a familiar voice answered. "Finally! I was about to send out a fucking search party!"

"Rose!" I squealed, barely stopping myself before I gave the woman a hug.

Rosalie Hale didn't hug. Ever.

Rose held up her hand in some sort of Star Wars-like greeting that was also meant to keep her personal space secure. "You're late."

"I know," I admitted with an apologetic smile. "But what the hell is going on in here? Did someone die?"

"What kind of rock have you been living under, Swan?" Rose snorted as she all but assaulted me with the newspaper she held in her hands. "Here."

I shot a quick glance over the page wide spread, the picture of a young, beautiful woman immediately jumping out from amidst the text, the words 'murder' and 'trial of the century' popping out next. I groaned, wondering how in God's name I could have missed this. "Care to give me the Cliffs Notes version?"

Rose rolled her eyes. "Young medical student presumable murdered by her mentor, handsome established neurosurgeon, either because she wouldn't sleep with him or because she did and threatened to spill his dirty little secrets."

"Wow," I breathed. It wasn't like I'd never been involved in covering a murder case before but I had a feeling this one was going to be big. And since it involved a student from U-Dub, we were going to be heavily involved in it.

I'd only been in this kind of situation once before and that was when both Rose and I had still been freshmen. A sophomore history major had been found dead at a frat party and the whole university had been up in arms when it later turned out that he'd died due to the fact that he'd been forced to drink a whole bottle of Jagermeister during some out of control hazing experience. Seeing as we were freshmen at the time and very low up on the ranks of _The Daily_, well, we didn't get into too much of the action back then, though it did prepare me for what it was going to be like for the next couple of weeks.

These offices would make _Caligula_ look like a sixth grade picnic.

"Listen up you bunch of slobs!" Rose called out over the heads of the thirty or so people that made up our current staff. "Senior editor meeting in five minutes. If you want coffee, get it now."

We all followed her to the small conference room just like the docile bunch of sheep we were, some stopping at the coffee maker under way to get a refill, while the juniors and other staff went back to the business of typing up articles, doing research or conducting phone calls.

"Okay ladies and gentlemen," Rose started, calling us to order as she glanced around the table, "or – on second note – just ladies….."

There were a few snickers, mostly by the ladies, while the gentlemen at the table mostly took her jabs in stride. "As you all know a third year medical student was found murdered at the apartment of her mentor early last week."

There were nods all around, most people not even looking up from their cell phones or the rough drafts of articles they were working on. This was all old news to them.

"Seeing as we're days behind on the major newspapers, I want our coverage of this case to be Pulitzer Price worthy. We are all going to be looking for jobs at the end of the year and in the current economy that's going to suck major ass. This is your chance to put ourselves in the picture with the major newspapers around here and I, for one, intend to grab it, which means you all have to do so too. With the ground we've lost due to summer recess we are going to have to really bring it if we want to stand out on this one, though." When everyone nodded again and most of the editors, realizing things were about to get interesting, ditched their phones and articles and started paying attention, she continued. "So, what's new about the case? Anything new about the suspect?"

"Not really," Tanya shrugged. Apart from being a total bitch and a complete whore to boot, she was also a reasonable talented field reporter and covered most of _The Daily's_ hot events. Of course her status had gone to her head (which shouldn't have been so surprising since there was plenty of room in there for it) which meant that she'd only become even more insufferable than she already was.

She studied her nails with complete disinterest as she continued. "Cullen's still claiming he didn't do it but the judge must have thought otherwise because he was denied bail on his arraignment. There's going to be a deposition on whether or not he's going to be released on house arrest tomorrow though."

All eyes turned to me when I let out a loud gasp.

Cullen.

Doctor Cullen.

Did that mean….

Of course, it had to. My dad had told me the Cullens moved to Seattle not long after mom and me had left for Venice. It had to be him.

Unless, of course I'd misheard. _Please let that be the case….._

"Excuse me," I finally managed to croak out as the rest of the table still studied me like I'd just stripped out of my clothes, jumped on top of the table and started grinding as if I were working the pole at some cheap ass titty bar. "What is the suspect named again?"

"Carlisle Cullen," four voices answered in perfect harmony while Rose merely rolled her eyes at my ignorance.

"Apparently he's some big flashy doctor at Seattle Grace," Tyler added.

"With a big flashy God complex to match!" Grace chimed in. "God I don't believe these assholes. They think that just because they make more money in a month than a normal person would make in a year they can just force a girl to put out!"

I frowned, trying to keep calm though my anger was starting to rise I my chest. "What happened to innocent until proven guilty?" I scowled. "He might not have done it, you know!"

I couldn't imagine Doctor Cullen – handsome and kind Doctor Cullen whom I'd know since I was just a little kid – murdered a woman just because she didn't want to have sex with him or because she was threatening his career after they did. Not even after what I'd heard him say to my mom….

"Come on, Bella!" Tyler snorted. "The girl was found stabbed to death in his apartment with her knickers hanging around her ankles! What else could have happened?"

"Maybe it was all just a misunderstanding?" I tried. I knew I probably sounded ridiculous but still, I'd been in this position before and then it all had turned out to be just that…a misunderstanding.

A misunderstanding that had caused the bond between a boy and his father to suffer a fierce blow, two soul mates to be torn apart and me to be schlepped halfway across the country.

"Oh come on! Don't be naïve, Bella," Tanya chimed in. "Of course the bastard did it!"

Rose stepped in before this could get ugly, knowing – as she well did – that Tanya and I didn't exactly have a track record for keeping our arguments civilized. "Let's just do our job and let the facts speak for themselves, shall we?"

No one had the guts to disagree with her. It was the lesson everyone had learned early on in Rosalie's reign as editor in chief: never disagree with her unless you don't care about things like life, the usage of all of your limbs and the ability to produce offspring.

"Okay," she continued as the table fell into silence again. "Seeing as we're going to kick ass on this one, we are going to need our best team to cover the case."

The way she looked at me, almost apologetic and downright guilty, made the hair at the back of my neck stand on end.

Please no…..

Say it ain't so…

I watched with fearful anticipation as Rose squared her shoulders, all traces of guilt and apology long gone as she went on. "I want Tyler to dig into the hospital. See if there have been incidents with female students before."

Tyler nodded and started scribbling something onto his legal pad, though his disappointment at not getting the coverage of the case was clear as day.

"Grace, you're going to focus on the campus aspect of the case. Talk to her friends and other known associates to see what she was like and how this could have happened. Did the school fail to protect a vulnerable female student or did Jane just fool them all?"

Grace had a lot more trouble hiding her dissatisfaction. Like Tanya she thought she was a much better journalist than the second rate one she really was. Not that I was the next Christiane Amanpour, though. I knew myself well enough to know that I was good but not great like Rose or Nate Richardson, Rose's predecessor who'd gone on to take a dream job at the Seattle Times. I was a good researcher and had an eye for details which made me a pretty decent features editor though.

Rose went on to distribute some more minor jobs to other editors, making my worst fear slowly but surely become a reality. "….and as for the coverage of the court case itself and the Cullens," she announced, "I want my best team on that."

Tanya looked about as happy to be reckoned amongst the newspapers greats as I was. It wasn't that we were sworn enemies or anything. To be that you'd actually have to be in each other's presence long and often enough to develop a good amount of hate. Being as it was we knew that we were never going to be friends or even good colleagues so we went out of our way to avoid each other, difficult as that was since we both attended pretty much the same classes, worked at _The Daily_ and even lived in the same landing of an off-campus building block.

We'd never actually had to work together though. Not until now.

"Tanya, Bella," Rose went on. "Do you two think you can handle the job and make me proud?"

"Of course, Rosalie," Tanya answered immediately with a smile so fake it would make Heidi Montag look like a natural beauty.

It was a challenge, the malicious glint in her eyes as she turned them on me made that clear enough. "Count me in, Rose," I was quick to chime in, mustering as much fake confidence as I could as I smiled back.

It was only after Rose adjourned the meeting that I stopped to think about what I had just gotten myself into. For the foreseeable future I would be covering a case involving my former future father in law and, quite possibly, the boy I had been trying to forget ever since he'd called my mother a whore and me – by default – the daughter of a whore. I would be doing this while working together with Prostitute Barbie and have my best friend slash editor breathing down my neck because she expected me to deliver award winning articles.

Great.

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_**So now we've seen what happened to both Edward and Bella after their romance came to a sudden and premature end. How about we bring these two together in the same room for the next chapter?**_

_**Follow me on twitter for teasers, updates on my writing and just the general musings of a slightly insane and (at the moment) very much overworked mind (I hate all end of the school year madness with a passion, even more so now that I'm a teacher). You can find me listed at **_**Missbaby25**_** over there.**_

_**As ever: loved it? Hated it? Please let me know. **_


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. I am in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise, I just use their creations to have my wicked way with them. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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_**This story wouldn't be what it is without my wonderful beta, **_**The Real Teacher**_**, holding my hand and correcting my many errors. Thank you so much!**_

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**- 3 -**

"Absolutely not." Most people probably would have taken the finality in his voice on board and abandoned their plea as it was a hopeless cause. After all, Uncle Eli was one of the best litigators in the state of Washington.

But I wasn't most people and, seeing as I was a lawyer too (and an arrogant ass, but that was beside the point) and lawyers always like a good argument, I decided not to drop the matter.

"Look," I started, carefully framing my request. "It's not like I actually want to be in the courtroom conducting cross-examinations or something. I know my dad's legal team has already been formed and I don't want to elbow anyone out."

"Edward…." Eli started, but I cut him off before he could come up with his probably very convincing arguments why a son should not be involved in his father's murder case.

"I just want to help out," I added. "He's my dad, Eli. I can't sit around here all day and do nothing while Garrett and his team are working on the case. I _have_ to be in the know on this one."

I could see that I almost had him, his deep sigh as well as the way he rubbed his beard telling me that he was, at least, giving the matter some serious consideration.

If only he knew _why_ I had such a special interest in the case.

I sighed, knowing that revealing my real reasons for wanting in on the case would probably do me no good. Sure, I wanted to help out as much as I did for my mom's sake, but for my own I just wanted to see what kind of evidence they had against my dad and make up my mind about whether or not I believed him to be innocent of the charges.

"And besides," I went on, trying to push the crushing guilt I felt every time I thought about my dad away. "It would be a good way for me to get to know everyone and see how this firm operates."

"Somehow I find it hard to believe that an ambitious young lawyer like you would willingly sit on the sideline," Eli replied after another long silence, his piercing black eyes scrutinizing my reaction. "I know you, Edward. The law's in your blood…."

I shrugged. "It's going to be hard, I'm not going to lie about that, but I won't exactly be standing by the sideline. I'll be doing research…maybe pick up a few small cases once I've found my way…."

"Does this mean you'll stay on after Carlisle's case has come to an end?"

I smiled, knowing that this was my uncle's main bargaining chip. Over the last half hour we'd come to the agreement that, while my dad's case went on, I would be entering the firm of Masen & Platt as a junior associate. However, I had avoided any mention of what was going to happen once the trial had ended, thinking I had handily outsmarted my uncle and kept my options open.

Apparently not.

I had to give him some credit; the guy really did know me. "I haven't decided on that yet."

"Then I may need some time to think about whether or not I want to endanger the name and reputation of my law firm just for the sake of my little sister's endeavors to get her son and her husband on speaking terms again," Eli stated, folding his hands underneath his chin as the cunning fox gazed at me from across the desk.

"That's fine," I shrugged, playing it cool when deep down inside I was raging with anger, frustration and – though I'd never admit it – awe. "I'll just go and talk to Garrett."

The most frustrating thing about it was that he was completely right, or he would have been about two days ago.

When I finally gave in to my mom's nagging and let her set up this meeting with my uncle, it had been merely to do my mom a favor. For the past ten or so years she had done everything she could think of to get my dad and me on speaking terms again but thus far, every effort had been in vain.

It was part of the reason why I went out of my way to avoid coming home while I was still in college: I couldn't bear to see her face fall when she realized that her latest effort to heal the rift had fallen flat.

Being the momma's boy that I was, seeing my mom hurt made me feel like a complete asshole. But I sure as hell wasn't the one who carried most of the blame.

And so my dad and I had come to a silent agreement to avoid family gatherings for as much as we could, the awkward annual family Christmas dinner being the only exception to the rule, citing work, school or all other kids of pressing engagements we could think of as a reason to skip out as many birthdays and holidays as we could.

But now, everything had changed.

Spending some time under my mom's roof had brought back so many memories of how things used to be before things went pear shaped. We'd always been close – my dad and I – not as close as I was with my mom, but close enough that, like so many boys my age, I worshipped him like some kind of half-god and wanted to be like him when I grew up.

Because I was surrounded by his stuff and my mom kept digging up all of the happy memories of our time in Forks, I found myself not hating him quite as bad as I did before. It wasn't like everything was okay again, but at least I started to feel _something_ again.

And feeling something soon morphed into an urge to _do_ something.

This was really why I had requested to join the team handling my dad's legal case, not because I was merely doing my mom a favor.

Well, maybe a little but not entirely.

"If you want to go to Garrett then you do that, Edward," my uncle chuckled, seemingly oblivious to my inner turmoil. "But you and I both know you aren't going to get a more favorable reply out of him."

He was right, of course. Garrett Masen, though in skills and experience was very much the equal to my uncle, still mostly adhered to Eli's decisions. I would be willing to bet that this would be no different in my case.

"I'll think about it," I finally grudgingly gave in, focusing my attention on the Seattle skyline as visible from the 43rd floor of the Columbia Center, the highest landmark in downtown Seattle and home to the firm of Masen & Platt.

As far as law firms went, it was a very grand and prestigious firm, and had been for almost a century, but that wasn't the problem. In fact, had it not been for the fact that it was run by family, I probably would have been ecstatic if they'd offered me a job.

It was just that I wanted to make it on my own.

I knew that entering this firm would give me every opportunity to hone my skills and become a successful lawyer, the fact that both of the senior partners and major shareholders in it were related to me pretty much guaranteed it. But that was just it: I didn't _want_ to trade on my family name.

"I'm a businessman as well as a lawyer, Edward," Eli spoke after a while. "When I see an opportunity – whether it is in the court room or in the day to day running of my firm – I grab it."

He sat back, his hands folded behind his head as he continued. "_You_ are an opportunity Edward, a golden opportunity, in fact, as I think you may very well know."

I couldn't help a smirk from making an appearance onto my face. I knew I was talented, he was right about that, but still it was always a nice thing to hear.

"Don't be smug with me, Edward," he warned, sitting up a little straighter again as his bead-like eyes narrowed slightly, "It doesn't suit you and it is completely misplaced in one so young and as of yet unimportant in the legal world as you are. You have the talent and the name to make it out there, but if you really want to do that, you are going to need more than that."

"And let me guess," I snickered, leaning forward a bit as I match his stare. "You are going to help me."

He didn't seem fazed at all, though, as he continued. "Your talent needs to be developed slowly, if it's going to shine at all. Burn through it like the way most big law firms are doing these days and you'll be burned out and jaded by the time you hit forty. "

"Ouch!" I jested, wondering where this was headed.

"Indeed," he chuckled, leaning forward on his arms as he geared up to deliver the final punch. "Tell me, Edward. Who would be better at helping you wield your talent than one who has known you since childhood?"

I leaned back again, my face no doubt betraying my frustration at being out-argued by an old man. I should have seen it coming though. I knew he was going to start with this kind of shit and I had banefully prepared to rebut it. What I hadn't been prepared for, though, was my uncle's extreme talent of persuasion. Really, the man was a genius.

It was no wonder he won as many cases as he did.

I'd only seen my uncle in action once, during one of the few holidays I spent in Seattle and not interning in Boston. He'd been interrogating a witness for the other party and – damn – he worked it. He had just the right balance between being tough as nails and out for the kill while still doing all of that with a charm and humor that would ingratiate him with the jury.

I knew he had worked very hard to get where he was right now. He'd probably started out just like me, a young little fuck whose good grades and small successes had made him cockier than he probably should be. He'd lost more cases than a lot of lawyers would handle in the course of their whole career but, that was the key to his success, he'd won about three times as many cases as he'd lost. He had over twenty years of experience under his belt and in that time he'd seen pretty much anything.

And I had to admit it: there was a lot he could teach me.

"I'm just asking for a few years," he added, now really going in for the kill. "If, at the end of those years, you still think that this firm isn't for you then you can always go back to Boston. You'll have a few years of experience under your belt and – if you do your job right – a laudatory letter of recommendation from one of the best firms on the West Coast. You've got nothing to lose, Edward, just a hell of a lot to gain."

"Putting it like that I'd be pretty stupid if I didn't take you up on your offer, huh?" I snickered.

He grinned back. "You know I'd never call you stupid, at least, not to your face. Your mother would kill me."

"But…." I persisted, arching one of my brows.

"You're probably right," he admitted, leaning back again in his chair, every bit the cocky, confident lawyer that he was. "So, what's it going to be?"

I sighed. This was not going at all like I'd planned it. When I walked into this office earlier I had every intention of walking out as Masen-Platt's newest employee. The interpretation I'd had of it, however, had been completely different.

If it had been up to me I would have worked here for a few months, maybe a year tops, while my dad's case went on and a bit after to see that my mom was okay, only to hightail it back to Boston the minute everything was resolved around here. Seattle would be a temporary lay-over for me. Nothing more.

That was all going to change now, or so I guessed. I had no doubt about the fact that, in the next few years (and I was convinced that my contract would stipulate just how many those were going to be) both Eli and Garrett would bust their butts in trying to make me stay.

And, if I was being honest with myself, I had no fucking doubt in my mind that they were going to succeed. The question was: did I really want this?

Well, there was only one way to find out.

"Fine," I answered, after an appropriate pause to mull it all over. "I'll take the job but on two conditions."

A proud smile crept onto my uncle's face. "And those might be…."

"One," I started, "that I get to work on my dad's case. I understand that there are going to be restrictions to keep up the name and reputation of the firm but I am sure we will be able to work all of those out."

"Okay," he nodded, "and your second stipulation?"

"I get three days to look over the contract before I sign it." I figured three days would give me ample opportunity to call in a favor from my old Boston firm and have Lauren, who happened to be pretty damned good when it came to contract law, have a look at it.

"Done," Eli beamed, holding out his hand over the table which I took, the look of pride on his face taking me completely aback. "Welcome to the firm of Masen & Platt, son."

My mom sported a similar look of pride when she greeted me in the car after my meeting, her hands twitching around the steering wheel to start asking questions. "So, when do you start?"

"Mom!" I groaned. "I didn't even tell you whether or not I took the damned job!"

"Oh, come on!" she chuckled, turning her trusty little MG out of the parking space. "I've known you for longer than today, Edward. You never stood a change."

Her beaming eyes turned to mine as she went on. "And besides…you have that whole 'I've just been worked over by Eleazar Platt'-look on your face."

"That obvious, huh?" I snickered.

"Your poker face isn't yet as good as you think," she answered, as we both turned our attention to the streets outside, letting a comfortable silence fall around us.

"You didn't answer my question, by the way," my mom stated after a while. "What did Eleazar say?"

"Exactly what I expected him to say," I shrugged. "He offered me a job on the condition that I spend at least a few years at the firm and I managed to get myself on dad's legal team."

Mom nodded. "That's good."

"Wasn't easy though," I grumbled. "Man, that guy is as cunning as a fucking fox!"

"Language!" mom scoffed, lightly swatting my hand as a punishment.

"What?" I retorted. "It's true! Here I was thinking I was all smart and prepared and he completely blindsides me!"

"Edward!" my mom chuckled. "You should have known better than to think you could outsmart your uncle! There are very few people able to outsmart my brother and you, my darling boy, even in spite of all your brazenness and arrogance, aren't yet one of them."

"Don't I know it?" I growled.

"And would it really be so hard to spend a few years in Seattle?" mom went on. "I could think of worse places to live."

"I guess," I sighed, as my mom steered her classic little sports car onto the driveway, cutting around the few assembled members of the gutter press who were camping out in front of our gate a little close.

"And who knows?' she went on unwearyingly, "you might meet some nice local girl and settle down."

I snorted. "Wishful thinking, mom. I'm not ready to tie myself down yet."

It appears so," she sighed. "By the way, the Lexus dealership called. You can pick up that ostentatious monstrosity of a car of yours on Monday. They'll call you to set up an appointment later this week."

I was barely able to contain my smile as I watched my mom's face scrunch up in disgust. "That's great. I'm sure you're tired of driving me around already."

"Not as much as I will be of seeing that unseemly thing parked in our driveway," she complained. "I still don't see why you couldn't have just driven your father's Mercedes to and from work. It just sits in the garage collecting dust for now anyway."

She sighed when she watched me sigh with frustration. It had been a fierce debate between us, not just at the Lexus dealership but also at home. She wanted nothing more than to have me drive my dad's car, probably hoping that this would be a great start to having the two of us share more than just 612 horsepower captured within almost 5 thousand pounds of sleek, German design.

"It's a good thing you chose a rather civilized color because I don't know what the neighbors would have said if they saw a red sports car parked in the driveway," she added in an afterthought.

"Probably that you've taken on some rich, young college stud as a toy boy now that dad's out of the way," I snorted.

"Edward!" my mom cried, though her laughter and slight blush told me she wasn't really offended. "You know I'd never do a thing like that!"

"I do," I joked, "but the question is: do the neighbors?"

She shook her head as she chuckled, the first carefree smile I'd seen on her ever since she picked me up from the airport. "I still don't see why you couldn't have bought some nice little Volvo or something. You used to really love the one you had…."

"…when I was in high school," I finished for her. "And that's exactly why I loved it so much. It was my first car and, as I recall, it was the only car you let me have."

"It was safe and practical," my mom defended herself. "Not as much as can be said of the one you bought yesterday."

"It will suit me just fine," I shrugged. "It has enough trunk space for my case files, enough room to seat two and enough power to make driving to and from Seattle fun."

"But it won't…." mom started.

"And it has the added bonus of keeping my mom from nagging about grandchildren and other little pests," I added, much to my mother's disappointment.

I chuckled as she huffed with frustration while bringing her classic and elegant little sports car to a stop on the gravel driveway. "Don't worry mother. I'm sure that in another ten years I will be ready to settle down and provide you with the trophy wife, grandchildren and golden retriever your heart desires." I kissed her on the cheek before I stepped out of the car, though not before adding a little warning. "But not yet."

I went up to my room as soon as I got indoors. As much as I enjoyed living with my mom for now, it was harder to get used to than I would have thought.

And we'd only been doing it for two days.

Over the last couple of years I'd gotten used to having things my way without discussion or having to take other people into account. Going car shopping with my mom, late yesterday afternoon, had already served to remind me that was going to stop from now on. My mom had always been very hands on when it came to her responsibilities as a parent and, for some reason; I didn't think she was going to stop now that I had reached adulthood.

Yesterday's experience had been….interesting to say the least. When I told her I wanted to buy a car she'd immediately assumed I'd be interested in some safe, boring old sedan. The look on her face when, after we'd arrived at the Lynnwood Lexus dealership and I made a beeline for the new LFA was priceless. She'd just stood there gaping at me like a fish on dry land for a few seconds before she finally managed to muster that poker face she'd become so known for.

That, of course, was when the objections had started.

I sighed, shaking my head when I thought about the many insane things she'd come up with in her quest to talk me out of having the car. They ranged from not being able to transport babies in it (which was a plus, as far as I was concerned) since it was only a two-seater, to the car not being safe enough to transport her one and only offspring through the dangers and challenges of urban Seattle.

It had all been in vain, of course, though I had to admit that her remarks about the car being a magnet for thieves did make me stop and think.

I still wanted it, though, and I was sure that no matter what my mom said, great-aunt Marjorie would be very happy to see part of the money she bequeathed me with go towards such a fine piece of machinery.

After all, the old bird had driven around in a vintage Morris Minor, which was every bit as fast and flashy as my new car.

I had a feeling the car-debacle was going to be only the first of many arguments with my mom, though. Being under her roof, I knew I had to adhere to her rules but at the same time she had to come to accept the way that I was an adult professional with my own life now. I knew it was going to be tough to get her to accept that, though. For someone as formidable and set in her own ways and beliefs as Esme Platt – Cullen was, adaptation was a well-neigh impossible thing to achieve.

One thing was for sure: living under my mom's wings was going to wreak havoc on my sex life.

I sighed, quickly discarding my formal clothes as I stepped into the shower. If things had been different I would have moved into a nice condo in town, preferably with a view over the water or the city skyscraper. Not only would that make my commute to work a lot easier, it would also offer me with all the distractions and entertainment I'd come to know and love while I was in Boston.

Being as it was, though, I had no other choice but to stay at home.

My mom may have been one hell of an actress but she wasn't able to fool me. The events of the past week had taken their toll on her and anyone who knew her could see that she was perpetually living on the edge of a breakdown. It didn't exactly help that those press hounds were basically following her everywhere she went, asking all kinds of fucked up things just to see if they could get a reaction out of her.

It completely freaked me out, even though mom had gotten pretty good at ignoring them. A woman like her shouldn't be asked questions like 'how do you feel, knowing your husband was screwing around with his students?'

How the fuck was a woman supposed to feel?

I growled, my anger almost causing me to tear my undershirt into pieces as I struggled to release myself from it. I just wanted to be there for her when that happened and comfort her in any way I knew, even if that did mean me and my hand would become even more intimately acquainted then we already were.

I groaned as the warm water cascaded down my body from the huge rainforest shower head. Being back in Seattle had me one edge 24/7. In Boston all I had to do was be a good lawyer and a decent enough human being. Here I had to be the model son, a good lawyer, a worthy representative of my illustrious lineage, a decent human being and, on top of all of that, deal with the guilt I felt when I thought about my dad, locked up in jail.

If anything, it made me hate the bastard even more.

"Fuck my life," I growled, slamming my flat hand against the cold tiles of the shower.

I knew I should have been grateful for what I had. A lot of guys would kill to be living the life I had and get the opportunities I just had thrown into my lap.

It was just that this wasn't the life I wanted.

It was fifty ways of fucked up and – with my dad's trial kicking off tomorrow with the appeal hearing on my dad's bail conditions – or lack thereof, since bail had been denied – it was only going to get worse before it could get any better.

Desperate to relieve some of the tension that had started to built in my body, I blindly grabbed for the shower gel and squeezed a generous amount of the stuff into my hand, rubbing the suds into my chest before letting my hand drift down and palm my cock.

Its reaction was immediate, as were the images my mind started to conjure up.

As always, when I hadn't gotten laid in a while or when the last bit of action my dick had seen wasn't quite so memorable to make a lasting impression, no amount of trying to think about supermodels or actresses dressed in next to nothing could stop my mind from wandering to the same image that had served me for as long as I could remember.

Her.

_Bella fucking Swan._

The most fucked up thing about it was that I didn't even know what she looked like. All I had to go on was the way she'd looked more than ten years ago and the fantasy of those basic features – deep brown eyes, long and wavy matching hair and a skin so pale you'd wonder whether it had even seen the sunlight – and my own fantasy of how they'd come into bloom.

"Fuck!" I groaned as my hand built up a steady stroke, imagining a pair of plump, raspberry lips wrapped around my cock as her brownie colored eyes peeked up at me through her long eyelashes.

I closed my eyes my hand pumping my dick in an increasingly fast pace to keep up with the building, churning tension that had started to rise in the pit of my stomach. She was all around me; the subtle smell of strawberries that always seemed to hang around her, the pertness and firmness of how I imagined her breasts would be pressing against my chest as she stood up, her small hands wrapping around my rock hard cock and slowly but surely working me towards my climax.

"Dammit!" I snarled, my free hand clenching into a fist as I came hard against the black tiles, my body shuddering with the intensity of its release as my mind was spinning with frustration.

Why wouldn't she leave me alone?

I groaned, shuddering as the last remnants of my orgasm started to wane, pulling my body slowly back to earth. It was like she'd put a spell on me sometime during our childhood because, no matter how much time and distance separated me from that fateful day, she had never really gone away.

No, instead of fading into the background, like almost every other memory from that time had done, she'd kept on popping up at the most inopportune of times over the years. The strangest thing about it was that over the years she'd matured from the sweet, gawky fourteen year old into the most beautiful woman my mind could form from those same basic ingredients.

"Edward?" I jumped as my mom's voice sounded from the other side of the door. "Are you alright, honey?"

"I'm fine, mom!" I croaked, my voice a few octaves higher as I scrambled to wash away the evidence of what had just happened and get my disgusting ass out of the shower before my mom would find me here stark naked, with my cock flying half mast and my face full of guilt. "I just…..had a little…erm….accident."

"_Oh,"_ I heard her speak, the tone of her voice implicating that mom, smart woman that she was, had finally managed to put two and two together.

Kill. Me. Now.

"Well, err…..I'll just…wait for you downstairs," she added, the slight strain in her voice betraying how hard she was trying to act as if she hadn't just caught her son jerking off in the shower.

I groaned, wondering how on earth I was going to face her now. "I'll be down in a minute, mom."

I emerged from my en-suite bathroom long after her fading footsteps had made it safe to come out, hoping my mom would be as happy to pretend this never happened as I was.

I guess this was why it was a bad idea for a grown son to still live at home….

After stalling my way through dressing and spending more time than I think I ever had on trying to tame the scraggly mess on top of my head, I finally made my way downstairs, but not after my mom had called out for me a second time.

"What is it?" I asked, as soon as I stepped into the drawing room to find her ready to go out.

"I'm sorry I disturbed your…ahem…shower, Edward," she muttered, her embarrassment laced with just a small hint of humor. "I guess that will teach me to go barging into your room without thinking…."

"Mom," I pleaded. "Can we just…_not_ speak about this, please?"

She chuckled. "As you wish."

"So what where you doing in there in the first place?"

She let out a deep breath, her face turning serious again. "Your dad's visiting hours will start in just over an hour and I was trying to get you to come with me."

"Mom," I sighed, trying to think of a polite way to stand her up.

"I know, I know," she muttered, the sagging of her shoulders making me feel even more like a complete asshole, "but you can't blame me for trying, can you?"

"Of course not," I answered, burying my face in my mom's hair as I pulled her into a hug. The familiar smell of garden, Chanel no 5 and mother gave me more comfort than it should. After all, she was the one who needed me, not the other way around. "It's just…not the right time yet."

"Nor the right place, I imagine," she added as she slid out of my hold. "I'll be back in a few hours. Could you make arrangements for dinner?"

"Sure, mom," I nodded, watching her as she walked out of the house.

I wished I could have come with her and – even more – that I could give her any sort of reassurance that things between me and my dad would soon get better.

I couldn't. I didn't know.

All I did know was that, even if it was only for her sake, I'd try.

**- x -**

And that was why, early next morning, I found myself shaking hands and exchanging pleasantries with my new colleagues. I was sure that, even in spite of the three day reprieve I'd requested, my uncle had known that it would take me next to no time at all to accept it.

And he was right.

Between my mom's not so subtle hints and my own impatience to 'do something' I'd made up my mind late yesterday evening to just cut the crap and give in.

So here I was.

Eli looked on with a proud grin on his face while fondling my signed contract as if it were 'the precious', before Garrett handed me over to the guy who would be responsible for showing me the ropes.

Jasper Whitlock.

He was only a few years older than I was, but from what Garrett told me, he'd been with the firm for a couple of years now. He had the good looks and easy smile of a great lawyer, was a hard worker and a standup kind of guy.

I'd you'd asked me, though, I'd say the guy was a complete son of a bitch.

And that was putting it lightly

We'd been sitting in his office for well over half an hour now and he hadn't said a word. All he had been doing was studying a piece of paper any dumb fuck would have read through in a matter of minutes and glare at me from across his desk.

This wasn't going to be fun.

I took one look at the huge pile of paperwork to know just how impossible it was to wade through that in the three hours we had before we had to leave for court. I just had to settle for an aural elucidation, even if my new mentor seemed to be as happy to give it to me as he would have been to be fucked in the ass by King Kong.

"Who found her?" I asked, thinking that was probably a good place to start.

"The cleaning lady," Jasper grumbled in reply, his ice-blue eyes glaring at me from over his own files.

"What?" I frowned. "I thought they found the body at four in the morning?"

He didn't even look up this time, but his voice still held that same gruffness as he answered. "They did."

I was beginning to see a pattern here.

"Then how the hell did the cleaning lady manage to find the body?' I pressed on, his fucked up way of welcoming me into the team really starting to get on my nerves. "I've never met one who starts that early in the morning."

"Read the goddamn file," he snarled. "It's all in there."

Okay.

"What the hell is your problem?" I growled, unable to keep it bottled up any longer.

He bristled, the whites in his eyes showing as he glared at me with a barely veiled disgust. "You want to know what my fucking problem is?" he snorted, as if it was all pretty fucking obvious. "I'll fucking tell you what my problem is.

"Well, hop to it," I snorted, not caring that I was playing with fire. "I don't have all day."

"Do you know how hard I worked to get where I am today?" he asked. "I started out as an errant boy, slowly working my way up through the ranks as I got further and further into getting my degree. For years I spent every fucking moment I didn't have to spend at school and at this place, doing everything they asked me to do in the hopes of one day fulfilling my dream."

I didn't have to ask him what his dream was. It was probably the same one as I had, only with a difference in location.

"And then you walk in with your fancy ass Boston ways and the fancy degree your daddy's name and money probably bought you, thinking you fucking own the place… And you know what? The most fucked up thing about it is that you probably do."

He shook his head, another sarcastic snort permeating the silence before he spoke. "Out of the two of us, who do you think will make it to partner first?"

In that moment I genuinely felt sorry for the guy, even if he was being a total jackass.

After all, he was right.

However, I also felt like I should at least argue my case before I let him pass judgment.

"I understand, really," I tried. "If I were you, I'd probably feel the same. I do want to ask you for one favor, though, before you decide I'm just another piece of shit."

"And that is?" he asked, his arched brow telling me he wasn't quite buying into my shit just yet.

"Let me plead my case," I said. "We're both lawyers here and well…didn't Aristotle say that law is reason without passion?"

He chuckled, crossing his arms in front of his chest. "Fair enough."

"Look," I started wishing in that moment that I had my uncle's powers of persuasion, "I don't want to be here anymore than you do."

The look on Jasper's face told me he didn't really believe me.

"It's true," I shrugged. "Up until a week ago I had a good job in Boston that I'd worked every bit as hard for as the one you have right here and I had no intention of spending more time in Seattle apart from holidays, weddings and funerals."

I sighed dragging my hand through my hair as I geared up to get myself through the hard part. "Then my mom called me and told me my dad had been arrested and suddenly my whole future was turned upside down."

Jasper nodded, his reaction being the first friendly gesture I'd gotten out of him ever since I'd set foot into this office.

"You know how things go…." I went on, "and I think you also know why I had no other choice than to take Eli up on his offer. I'd be crazy to let this chance pass me by."

"That's all good and well," Jasper quipped, "but why didn't you enter this firm when you got out of law school?"

"Because I never wanted to be the kind of guy that only got to where he was because of his last name," I shrugged. "I always knew both my mom and Eli were chomping at the bits to incorporate me, but I kind of wanted to see how far I could get on my own. I mean….my dad's name and Money – as you so eloquently put it – may have gotten me into Harvard Law, but I don't think his annual donations reached quite far enough to get me to graduate with high honors if I didn't at least have some talent."

"Okay," he nodded. "So you may have what it takes. So what?"

"Look," I pleaded, this time dragging both my hands though my hair. "I'm not asking for you to bow down at my feet or for us to become besties or anything. All I'm asking for is a fair chance. Judge me for who I am, not what I am."

Jasper nodded, his cold blue eyes dancing with humor as he looked at me, making him look more human than he had looked so far. "You're full of shit," he finally chuckled.

I laughed along. "Yeah, I guess you're right. Though I am rather proud of that last line I sprouted off."

And just like that, the ice was broken.

We spent the next couple of hours going over my dad's case and, even though at the end of them I still had only a very basic understanding of it, at least now I knew what we were playing at.

And how it was going to be a hell of a job to get my dad out of this mess.

**- x -**

I started to get more nervous as we were driving to court. It wasn't because I was afraid Garrett and his team of lawyers were going to mess up or anything, it was because today would be the first time I'd see my dad in almost a year.

And it wasn't under circumstances I would have preferred that to happen.

My mom met me in front of the entrance and, while the rest of the team went in, I gave her a quick lowdown on what I'd just discovered. A lot of the information I had to share with her probably wasn't the kind of stuff a mother wants her son to tell her, but I gathered it was better to have her walking into that courtroom embarrassed yet prepared, than walk out of it completely squicked out and blindsided.

When we did, finally, make our way into the courtroom it turned out we were among the last ones to do so. Almost everyone who had any business being there was already seated and ready to go….including my dad.

The first thing that struck me about him was how old he looked. In front of me sat not the handsome doctor with the boyish grin and the glint in his eyes but – in every aspect of the word – my old man.

I had to give it to him, though. As my mom and I slid into the bench behind Garrett, Felix and Jasper, he never once took my eyes off my mom, and neither did she with him. The silent conversation that took place between them seemed too…intimate, for a place like this but on the other hand, seeing it take place gave me more respect for my dad than I had had in years.

They really did need each other.

"Are you sure Garrett will be able to get him out?' my mom asked anxiously, as she wriggled in her seat to get a better view.

"It's the law," I sighed, taking my mom's hand in mine. "Nothing's certain."

I didn't want to give her false hope, not when it seemed so much of her happiness was riding on this ruling.

"We have a pretty decent shot, though," I added, still wanting to give her something rather than nothing.

The truth was, I still didn't know how I felt about all of this. Part of me wanted nothing more than to get my dad out of prison and back home with my mom. I kept telling myself that it was just about her, but even I knew I was lying.

But that was part of the problem.

Having my dad back with us in Woodway would also mean that there would be no more running. If we were going to be living under the same roof and – in my dad's case – spending every damned second that wasn't spend in court, in there, would mean that we had to talk.

It was only a matter of time.

As we waited for the judge to come in, it seemed that my mom and I hadn't been the latest to arrive to this particularly party. As the door opened with more noise than any door had business making, all heads turned towards it to see two women entering the courtroom.

The first one strut in with the confidence and fake air of glamour of a woman used to getting both attention and everything she wants, smiling like she half expected everyone to stand up and bow for her.

So much could not be said for the other one.

She hid herself carefully behind a wealth of deep brown hair, her small figure almost cloaked in it as she scurried towards the bench closest to the exit. It was only when she slid in that I managed to catch a glimpse of her face.

"No," I gasped. "It can't be!"

"What is it?" my mom asked, tearing her eyes away from my dad for a second to shoot a worried glance over her shoulder. "Is something wrong?"

"It's fine," I lied, trying to control the swirling vortex of questions and feelings that was raging inside of me. "It's nothing…."

But I knew it was a lie.

In fact, I concluded, as the judge and his court entered the room, thereby cutting short our conversation, it was the blackest form of blasphemy known to man.

There had been a time when the woman who'd just walked in had been my entire world and even now, she still was an important part of it. As I shot another sideways glance at her I had to admit that my sex crazed mind hadn't been able to come close to capturing her beauty.

_Bella._

And that she was, in every sense of the word.

* * *

_**I know. I know. I know**_.

_**I did get them in the same room, though, and that was all I promised last time. Next up: what will happen now that those two **_**are**_** in the same room? Will they argue? Panic? Make out?**_

_**Follow me on twitter for teasers and updates on my writing. You can find me listed at **_**Missbaby25**_** over there.**_

_**As ever: loved it? Hated it? Please let me know. **_


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. I am in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise, I just use their creations to have my wicked way with them. No copyright infringement is intended.**

* * *

_**This story wouldn't be what it is without my wonderful beta, **_**The Real Teacher**_**, holding my hand and correcting my many errors. Thank you so much!**_

* * *

**- 4 - **

"Dammit Tanya!" I hissed as my new partner in crime finally made her appearance. "This is a fucking murder trial not a night on the town with your girls! There's no being fashionably late for this!"

"Oh, hush!" Tanya chuckled, rolling her eyes at me depreciatively. "Do you really think this is the first time I've been in a courthouse?"

For the sake of our partnership I refrained from commenting on her rhetorical question, though I could think of a few things – soliciting being one of them – that would have had her ending up in the big 1930's colossus of justice behind me.

"It's not like this is a great big important part of the trial anyway," she went on, placing her hand on my arm in a gesture of fake affection. "Really. I don't see why the guy wasn't released on house arrest at his arraignment last week. It's not like that's a rare thing, you know, not with the way our jails are horribly overpopulated these days."

She looked out in front of her at the tall and slightly daunting building, her face trying to be pensive with all its might though I had a hard time thinking those two brain cells of her could be spared long enough from their herculean effort to keep her upright and breathing to actually do some thinking. "It's almost…you know…a bit suspicious, come to think of it, that the judge denied bail. It's not like the flight risk is that substantial with the Cullens being who they are."

I was beginning to see that Tanya was going to be milking the fact that she was more experienced in these kind of matters than I was for everything it was worth.

Great.

Looking back on it now I realized that I probably should have paid more attention to the society pages instead of sticking to the more serious national and international articles but there was no remedying that now.

I'd just have to make do with whatever crap Tanya could feed me about Seattle's rich and famous and hope she did nothing that would lead to me standing trial for murder myself.

Dad would never forgive me.

"If this is all unimportant and cut and dry, then why the hell are we here?" I grumbled as I shook off the offending hand and made my way into the building.

If it would have been possible I would have wormed my way out of being here as soon as Rose gave me the damned job. Not that I was so eager to let Grace take all the glory but the fact that this job was sure to bring me face to face with my past again wasn't something that I was particularly looking forward to.

I would be lying if I said that I had moved past all that happened between me and the Cullens. The wound Edward's words had torn inside me had never quite healed and I was afraid of what was going to happen when we came face to face again.

The possible scenarios had kept me awake for most of the night, my emotions shifting from pain and fear to anger and aggression as I watched the numbers on my alarm clock slowly progress to 7 AM.

_This was wrong. I shouldn't be here._

I knew Rose, though. She wasn't going to let me bow out of this one, at least not without a very good reason. Not that I didn't have one of those, though. The thing was, I wasn't all that eager to share it, though I realized that not telling my editor in chief about a possible conflict of interest was unprofessional to say the least.

None of my friends at U-Dub knew about my 'relationship' with the Cullens, apart from Angela, my roommate and best friend. Rose, though like Angela one of the best friends I had in this world, was never one to pour your heart out to. She was the one you wanted fighting your corner when things got tough but not a shoulder to cry on.

I knew that if I told Rose about those horrible days of summer when, one after one, the pillars of my universe had come crashing down leaving me scared and disoriented in Hippie Central, she would be understanding and caring and tell me to woman up and use what I knew to get the most kickass story that had ever been told.

The thing was….I wasn't willing to do that, not even after all of the horrible things he'd said and done to me. I wouldn't use my inside information on the Cullens to get my revenge on Edward.

I was better than him and now was the time to prove it.

So I womaned up all on my own, spent last night working my way through every piece of information on the Cullens Google could come up with and drank up on liquid courage with all the White Café Mocha Starbucks could supply me with this morning. All in my effort to come face to face with my former boyfriend and act like it didn't mean a thing to me and hope to God that he didn't recognize me.

This was altogether another little problem I was foreseeing.

More than ten years might have passed since he'd left me all alone in the woods, scared and wondering what the hell I'd ever done wrong, but when I looked at the pictures of him and his family last night, I knew I would have recognized him anywhere. He was still the most gorgeous creature walking God's green planet.

Unfortunately, not so much could be said of me.

My boobs – or lack thereof – were the living evidence of the fact that mind could never prevail over matter. If there had been even the remotest chance of it, I would have willed my boobs to be bigger than the two peas on a plank I had now. Being as it was, I looked more like a teenage boy than the young woman I was. And sadly my lack of feminine curves were the only remarkable feature I had. Everything else was just….bland. And I wasn't one for adding all kinds of unnatural colors to my muted pallet, like Tanya.

"What's with all the hair and makeup?" I questioned as we made our way through the maze of hallways, corridors and identical doors. Tanya looked like some sort of exotic bird with her strawberry hair dancing around her face as if it had a mind of its own, deep blue (and scandalously low cut) dress and perfectly made up face. She was dressed for seduction, not for attending some boring old court hearing.

I scowled, looking at the way the curves of her breasts peeked out from above the neckline of her dress, almost as if to taunt me. "I always thought a journalist was supposed to blend in with the scenery?"

At least, that was the approach I'd always taken.

It wasn't just because of my adversity to attention, though I could see why that had made me particularly fond of using this kind of tactic. I just saw my ability to _not_ stand out in the crowd as a huge bonus in my line of work. After all, people tended to be just a little bit more loose-lipped when they didn't know there was a member of the press around.

"Bella," Tanya sang condescendingly. "Your mousy approach to getting information might work on _features_, but out in the _real world_ the reporter that stands out gets the scoop.

I scowled, the way she had spat out the word 'features' as if it was something completely disgusting not escaping my notice. God, that woman really was insufferable! It wasn't like she was God around here just because she'd chosen to focus on the society aspect of journalism.

"God didn't give me boobs and a pretty face if he didn't intend for me to use them," Tanya went on, completely ignorant to my inner musings. "And I intend to use them to the fullest."

She paused looking rather pleased with herself as she checked her appearance in the window opposite the double doors we were about to enter through. "Besides….have you seen the defendant's son? I wouldn't mind doing an _in-depth_ interview with that one…"

Yuck.

Before I had any chance to object to the vile approach she took to journalism or throw up all over that pretty blue dress of hers, Tanya had slung the door open and marched into the court room, leaving me with no other option than to follow like the faithful little lapdog she undoubtedly thought I was.

I couldn't wait to show her how deceiving appearances could be. I would prove to her that serious journalism would always prevail over slutty ho-baggery and that I – not she – would walk away from this battle field with a victory. In fact, I'd leave her devastated and crying for her mommy while I was on my way to greatness by the time this was over.

My dad would be so proud of me.

But before I could start doing all of that, I had to walk into the courtroom as inconspicuously as I could manage without falling down, attracting the attention of a certain drop-dead gorgeous man and his parents or engage in a screaming bitch fight with either Tanya or aforementioned drop dead gorgeous guy.

Which, considering the mood I was in, wouldn't be all that easy to prevent.

So without further ado I hid my face behind my hair – silently thanking Jake for talking me out of an asymmetrical bob, which would have left me with precious little to hide behind – and shuffled in behind Tanya.

_Phase one: complete. _

It was only when the monotone drone of voices in front of me had started, with lawyers bickering back and forth like a bunch of very well-spoken kids in a playground – that I dared to take a first peek at my surroundings through the lashes of my still downcast eyes. It was ridiculous really. I was a grown woman and a serious journalist to boot! Why would a man – and a stupid one at that – scare me so much? This was not the child Renee Higginbotham had raised to the tunes of Destiny's Child's _Independent Woman_! I should be the one holding my head up high! Really! It wasn't like I had ever done something wrong!

I'd almost convinced myself when my subconscious started to act up, taking me back to that Monday afternoon, three days after we'd discovered my mom and his dad in an intimate embrace.

"_I seriously hope this will be the last time I'll ever have to look at your face again." _

My heart started pounding in my chest, my skin breaking out in a sweat as I tried to fight back the panic that bubbled up inside of me. I may have been able to prepare myself for the job I had to do in here, but there had been nothing that could have prepared me for the freight train of emotion slamming into me as I looked up and captured those same green eyes I had looked into so many times.

I gasped, tearing my eyes away from him almost instantly as one of my hands clutched my chest, probably in some kind of subconscious attempt to protect my heart. God knows it was beating fast and loud enough for the judge to have me thrown out of this joint for disrupting the course of justice or something.

"Bella?" I was barely able to suppress a groan as Tanya's boney elbow made contact with my rib cage. "You look like you've seen a ghost!"

"I have," I hissed back, rubbing the sore spot over my shirt. "Well…in a way."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Tanya whispered, annoyed that she was left out of the loop.

I took a deep breath, trying to at least act normal so that I could get her off my case. "It's nothing. Forget it."

That seemed to appease Tanya for now, her attention focusing back on the court procedure playing out in front of us as I once again fell captive to my overactive subconscious.

"_You were never quite…good enough for me anyway." _

I took a few deep, steadying breaths as I tried to remember what my freaky teachers at self-discovery camp had said to me about facing your inner demons.

_Take deep breaths._

Done.

_Clear your head_.

That one proved to be more difficult than it was on paper but in the end I did manage to complete even that task.

_Compartmentalize your feelings._

My brows furrowed as I tried to visualize every single emotion I felt. There were the obvious ones – fear, hate and doubt – which I had no trouble coming face to face with, but my mind also had quite a few surprises in store for me. Such as longing, regret and – dare I even admit it – love? Was it really possible that –after all those years and all the despicable things he'd said and done to me – I was still in love with the Edward I'd once known and loved?

I knew my answer the minute I'd gathered enough courage to look up again, this time making full use of his unawareness to study him unabashedly. The effect was imminent: my heartbeat sped up, my palms got sweaty, my body warm and my panties moist.

_Shit. This was so not what was supposed to happen. _

"He's gorgeous, isn't he?" Tanya sighed, her eyes following mine to the front of the room as Edward – during a very heated and underhand attempt of the state prosecutor handling the case to persuade the judge that Carlisle Cullen posed a threat to society and should not be bailed out of prison, not even on electronic house arrest – wrapped his arm around his mother's rigid frame.

I shrugged; trying to remain unaffected when, in reality I was very much affected. "I guess so."

"And do you know," she whispered on in that mock-serious journalist voice I had already grown to hate, "my sources tell me that he's recently been hired by the firm handling his father's case. He might give us an 'in' on what's going on and what kind of angle they are going to approach his defense from. Yeah….he might turn out to be very…_useful_."

I had no doubt which part of my gorgeous-asshole-of-an-ex-soul mate she'd want to use most of all.

It sure wasn't his head.

Well, at least not the one with the brain in it.

I scowled. _Dirty, disgusting ho-bag of a reporter/forced partner in crime. _

Well, at least I had her on this one. "That's already old news, Tan," I shrugged, trying to not gloat too much when I saw the shocked look on her face. "What? Do you think you're the only one who can use Google?"

_Score!_

I could feel his eyes on me even before I looked his way again, which, in retrospect might have been a mistake. It wasn't just the beautiful face or the hair that looked so artfully tousled that it made me think it had taken him longer to get it looking like that than it would have taken me to go through my entire morning routine (including breakfast). It wasn't even in the broadness of his shoulder that alluded to the fact that, unlike me, he had left those awkward teenage boy shapes far, far behind him. It was the way he looked at me – studied me – that completely unnerved me and made me feel more claustrophobic than I think I ever had. In his eyes I could see recognition and determination and I knew that he would seek me out the minute he got the chance.

And it scared me to death, as much as it pained me to admit it.

I had to get out of there – and as fast as humanly possible – before I did something stupid like tear his head of his shoulders or jump his bones or something else that would land my ass in jail.

Fortunately for me it seemed that faith agreed with my assessment because the moment it became clear that the judge would be ruling in favor of the defendant, a guy I recognized as the victim's brother stormed out of the room thereby giving me the most perfect escape plan I could wish for.

"I'm going after him," I hissed in Tanya's general direction before slithering out of the pew before she could start asking questions.

Finding the guy wasn't as easy as I thought it would have been. I'd never been in hot pursuit of a story before, since my job as a features editor meant that usually I could just set up appointments to talk to the people who had the information I needed.

I tried to remember everything I knew about the victim as I scanned the empty corridor, my mind only coming up with their names. In the media-frenzy that surrounded this case it was almost shocking to see how everyone seemed to zone in on the Cullens and whether or not Carlisle had done it, but very little attention was being showed to the victim – Jane Foster – and what had made her end up dead in her mentor's apartment.

It was almost like someone was spinning the media in this particular direction.

Before I could follow that line of thought any further, my attention was caught by the sound of an agitated male voice coming from around the bend.

_Bingo!_

Peeking around the corner I saw that it was indeed Alec Foster - Jane's s twin brother and the driving force behind the hate campaign the Fosters had launched against the Cullens – talking to someone on the phone as he paced the little seating area at the end of the corridor.

"They got what they wanted," he growled, pulling at his hair as he turned his back to me to look out of the window.

Making the most of the environment I found myself in, I slithered forward and took up position behind a big-ass plant that separated the waiting area from the rest of the corridor, hoping the miniature jungle and distractions from the other end of the line would be enough to hide my smallish frame.

"What? I don't know that!" he barked, his fist punching the windowsill before he turned my way again.

Whoever he was talking to, it was clear from the way he immediately started backtracking as he shuffled around nervously that they weren't too taken with all the attitude he was showing. I wondered who it was, though. Was it their father? I couldn't remember having seen the parents in the court room, so it might be.

"Yeah, he was there. He works for _them_ now," he continued in a much calmer tone.

Who was this 'he' Alec was talking about? Was it Edward? My mind immediately started coming up with all sorts of different scenarios about why the Fosters might be interested in Edward but coming up with none that were even remotely plausible.

I frowned, wishing I could have heard what the other person was saying instead of having to fumble around in the dark while trying to connect the different pieces of the puzzle.

"No, I think they are trying to keep it under wraps," Alec went on, his foot kicking at one of the benches. "It would be in our best interest if we allowed them to keep their little secret for now."

I tried to inch closer just so that I wouldn't miss a word of this mysterious conversation. From what he was saying I got the feeling that it wasn't his dad he was talking to. His tone was too respectfully aloof to be talking to a relative or even a good friend. It seemed almost like some sort of business conversation.

"I don't know yet. I don't think he would go that far," Alec shrugged. "Sure, he hates his guts….but _espionage_?"

What the hell? Were they trying to make Edward spy on his dad? I shook my head. I must have gotten this wrong. There was no way they could even think Edward would do that, right? I mean, not that I was in any way, shape or form a member of Team Edward – not any more at least – but thinking he would be willing to rat on his own dad was preposterous.

As I continued to listen I had to resist the urge to jump up, yank the phone out of Alec's hand and find out who he was talking to. This was not going like I had expected it to go and I had a feeling that what was being said now was much bigger than it seemed.

Maybe even Pulitzer Prize journalism big.

"I told you, I don't know." Alec was back to being agitated as the person on the other end seemed to press him for more information. "Look, I'm sorry. I've got to go."

"Yes, _dominus,_" he nodded, almost reverently. "I will talk to you later."

_Dominus_?

What the hell?

But before I had to time to think about what kind of fucked up conversation I'd just overheard Alec then turned back in my direction, leaning slightly to his left so that he could bypass the plant I was still hiding behind, his lips pulling back in smile so creepy it send shivers running down my spine as he studied me for a while before he spoke. "Well, hello there."

"H-Hi?' I tried, offering him my most charming smile while I suddenly wished Tanya had come with me.

"If you want to go spying on people, you have to make sure you blend in more," he snorted, pointing out my clothes which, I had to admit, were slightly too casual for court. "I take it you're a member of the press?"

I squared my shoulders, telling myself that if I wanted to be a serious journalist I might as well start here and now. "I am," I spoke, my fake confidence surprising even me as I reached out and grabbed his hand, giving it a firm yet friendly shake. "Isabella Swan, _The Daily_."

"_The Daily_, huh?" he mused. "Since when do the university rags perpetrate serious _real world_ journalism? I was under the impression it was only concerned with the stuff that takes place on campus?"

I bit my lip, wondering how on earth I was going to put this delicately. "Your sister….she was….uhm…."

He sighed, his face falling at the mention of Jane. "Ah, I see."

"And anyway…you haven't met my editor in chief. She thinks big," I added, trying to lighten the mood a little.

"And so, it appears, do you," he replied with a small smile. "Because I take it you didn't decide to become my stalker just because you like my tie."

I knew he was trying to be nice and charming – hell, he might even have been trying to get into my pants – but there was something about this dude that was really starting to creep me out. He was a bit too suave for his own good and the way he was caressing his tie like he was stroking someone's pussy was starting to make the chunks rise in my throat.

I had to bear it for now, though, all for the sake of my job. And so I pulled my face into what I hoped would be a charming smile as I took a few steps closer. "I was hoping you would want to meet up with me…."

I barely resisted the urge to vomit all over him as he let his eyes glide over my body, pausing just a little too long at the place where my boobs should have been, if I would have had them. "Is that so?" he lisped.

I nodded. "I was thinking about doing a background piece about Jane. Right now the media focus is on the Cullens, but I kind of want the people to get to know your sister a little better. You know? Give the victim a face and history people can relate to?"

He had to think about that for a while, his small eyes scrutinizing me as he shifted his weight from one foot to the other. "I think that might actually be a great idea," he finally concluded. "How about you meet me at the _Bookstore Bar_ tomorrow at noon? I'll have to run this by my lawyer first, but I don't think he'll have any objections."

"That would be great!" I answered, faking enthusiasm when in reality there was nothing I would like less than spend another minute with creepy Alec. "How about I give you my card? That way of you won't be able to make it you can give me a call or text me to let me know."

Alec seemed to agree with that and, after a few more pleasantries, he took his leave of me to jump into an awaiting town car, just as people who's faces I recognized from the court room started to spill out of the building.

I got away as quickly as possible, not wanting to take any risks, and made my way back to campus and _The Daily's_ headquarters.

Since all recent developments had left me in need of some quiet introspection I decided not to take a cab but just buy a sandwich and a bottle of water and make my way back to the University District on foot. It was a long trek but it wasn't like I had to be somewhere today or that I hadn't done it before.

It was a good thing I'd decided to wear my normal getup of jeans, t-shirt, light jacket and Chucks today because I didn't think my poor feet would have survived the hour and a half walk if they'd been in Tanya's shoes.

I somehow doubted she'd ever walked anywhere in her entire life.

What surprised me most as I walked on autopilot through the familiar streets of downtown Seattle was that my meeting with Alec or my small triumph at the end of it hardly crossed my mind. I mean, getting an exclusive interview with the brother of a murder victim was big stuff, even if the fact that they had awarded this honor to a campus newspaper journalist was a bit suspicious. It should have occupied my mind a lot more than the five minutes I spent wondering why the hell they were even contemplating awarding little, insignificant me this honor..

Edward, on the other hand, occupied my mind of the rest of the walk much to my own chagrin.

It still amazed me how, even after everything that happened, part of me still had feelings for him. It was also the part of me that was furiously in denial about the less charming aspects of the man it had just feasted upon, preferring instead to ruminate on how it would feel to run my fingers through his hair as he showed me that his hair wasn't the only thing about his body that screamed sex.

I fastened my pace as my depraved mind leisurely progressed further and further into the gutter, mentally stripping Edward out of the suit and shirt he had been wearing and as I ran my tongue along every rise and slope of his perfectly sculpted chest (because somehow I couldn't imagine his chest being anything other than hand carved by Michelangelo himself) before boldly going where no Swan had gone before and wrapping my lips around his perfect big cock (again, I could not for the life of me imagine Edward with a tiny dick or anything other than perfect).

_Oh my. _

As my cheeks flushed with sin I was barely able to avoid running into a lamppost, the near collision being enough to snap me out of my depraved musings and back into reality.

_Stop giving yourself mental orgasms, Swan! _

I had a boyfriend, for God's sake! I shouldn't be thinking about how hot he looked or how he used to kiss me goodnight or how I wished – _truly wished_ – that he hadn't been so freakin' moral and had given me a real kiss to remember him by.

And I shouldn't be thinking about how one look at him had made me more hot and bothered than Jake in all the years we'd been going out had ever done.

In and out of the bedroom.

"_If I want to go somewhere in my life, I can't afford being…distracted by things that don't really matter." _

The recollection of more of his parting words crashed over me like a cold shower, washing away every sinful thought about Edward Cullen and his fuckhot body. "Bastard!" I growled, earning myself a few strange looks from the innocent passersby.

He left me, in the middle of a godforsaken primeval forest to find my own way back after he'd just dumped me in a way that still gave me nightmares. I should be angry. In fact, I should be out there slashing his tires, boiling his bunnies (if he had any) and sneaking laxatives into his Starbucks. Not lusting after his very fine ass.

What the hell was wrong with me?

I was still mad as hell when I made my way into the newsroom, my computer being the first victim of my pent up frustration when it dared to reject the password I'd so painstakingly typed out.

"Why don't you just pay attention and see I've just made a tiny fucking mistake, you disgusting piece of shit!" I barked at the unsuspecting inanimate object as I rammed my second attempt at gaining entry to my own damn files into the keyboard.

"Settle down, Bella!" Rose chuckled as she settled her perfect frame against a nearby wall that seemed far enough away from me to be out of the line of fire. "Taking whatever it is that crawled up your butt out on your computer isn't going to help!"

"It might not," I snarled, as the stupid piece of machinery finally understood that it was in fact me who was trying to get it to cooperate. "But is sure as hell makes me feel better. And besides….it's about time Bill Gates got a good beat down."

For as long as I could remember my mom had been riling against Microsoft and its domination of everything computer. According to my mom no amount of charity work could make Bill Gates look any less like the Antichrist of the modern world. The Dutch woman who had finally managed to get him to his knees was revered around her place as a saint, even if she had one of those unpronounceable names that – when you tried – sounded somewhere between a choking cat and someone yakking something up.

"I know," I sighed, hanging my head in shame. "It's just…aargh!" I fisted my hands in my hair and started pulling at the roots, figuring it was probably safer than destroying office equipment with Rose standing close by.

She didn't take kindly to editors destroying valuable newspaper property.

"Bella," Rose chuckled. "I don't think it's fair that you take out your own anger on a defenseless piece of machinery."

I scoffed, knowing she was right but, at the same time, not wanting to own up to it just yet. "I have to take it out on something, don't I?"

"Take it out on that boyfriend of yours," Rose shrugged as she sagged down in the uncomfortable plastic chair opposite my desk from me. "If he'd been able to give you proper orgasms like a boyfriend should, you wouldn't be as frustrated as you are right now."

"We've just been busy," I sighed, not wanting to get into all of that right now, "and since we spent the first half of the summer at my mom's place in Venice we had kind of a busy program to complete."

"You took the puppy to see your mom?" Rose cried, her eyes almost budging out of her head. Leave it to her to pick up the one part of our conversation I didn't really want to talk about. "That must have been epic!"

I snorted. 'That's one way to describe it."

"What?" Rose questioned with a smile. "She didn't like him?"

"And that's another," I chuckled, remembering the look of disgust on my mother's face when she shook hands with Jacob. "I will say that it was very…interesting, to say the least."

"And how _is_ Fido?" she went on indefatigably, the subject of my boyfriend – my_ looser _boyfriend as she called him – being a never-ending source of entertainment for her. "Did you dump him yet?"

To say Rose didn't like Jacob would be an understatement. She loathed him, and the feeling was pretty mutual. "Rose!" I scowled.

"What?" she shrugged, rolling her eyes at my hostility. "Well, did you?"

I hid my face behind my hair, not wanting Rose to see the look on my face when I answered her question. "No."

"Bella!" she cried.

"What, Rose?" I spat back. "Do you really think I'm an idiot for wanting to make my relationship with Jacob work?"

Rose's answer spoke clear enough from the look in her eyes but she wisely chose not to answer.

" I've invested three years in it. I just don't want to throw those years away on a whim," I continued. "I'm happy with him. Well, for the most part at least. We spend the whole summer living together and barely even fought or got in each other's faces. That's saying something, at least."

"Okay," Rose nodded. "But on to a more important question: how many orgasms did you have?"

I scowled at her. "I had plenty."

"Okay, let me rephrase that," Rose snickered. "How many orgasms did _he _give _you_?"

"I'm not even going to answer that!" I cried, feigning outrage to avoid having to answer Rose's question. "We're at work for fuck's sake!"

Rose wasn't so easily fooled as I should have known. "Ah, I guessed so," she snickered, before turning serious again. "Honey, you may have been able to make it work over the summer, but if you ask me that's mainly because you keep selling yourself short."

"Isn't that what being in a relationship is all about?" I snorted.

"It shouldn't be," she answered decidedly. "Look at me, for example. I can't tell you how many duds I went out with before I met Emmett but I can tell you this: the bedroom is the key to making your relationship work. If a guy can't satisfy you in there, he can't satisfy you anywhere."

I sighed. "I know."

Before Rose could launch another attempt to strong-arm me into calling Jake and ending things with him over the phone – and believe me, it wouldn't be the first time she'd tried – Tanya walked into the office with a look on her face as if she was out on the war path, which as it soon turned out, she was.

"What the hell, Swan?" she spat, her eyes shooting daggers at me from across the room. "I thought we were supposed to be working together, not leave the other coughing up dust while you run out of the court room the minute you think the most interesting part is over."

I shrugged, having seen a bit too much of the _Tanya Denali Drama Show_ over the years to be intimidated by it. "I saw an angle and I followed it."

"You followed an angle?" she snorted. "That's strange because to me it looked like you just ran out of there like your ass was on fire."

I heard Rose clear her throat behind me, the fact that she was listening in giving me that extra bit of venom I needed. Rose may have been my friend, but I knew that all ties of friendship were out the door when it came to the running of the paper.

"It might have escaped your notice, Tanya, but the minute the judge ruled in favor of the defendant, the victim's brother tore out of the room like he was going to destroy something. And I, for one, wanted to be there when that happened," I told her coolly. "I thought you of all people should have been able to appreciate that seeing as you're on your way to become a society reporter and all."

Tanya narrowed her eyes at me as she geared up to speak, but Rose beat her to it. "Did you find out something interesting?"

I shouldn't have felt as good about myself as I did, but there was no helping it. "As a matter of fact, I did," I replied, making sure my sweet smile was very visible to the one it was intended for. "He's agreed to meet me for a background piece about his sister."

"Good work," Rose nodded, a huff from across the room shifting her focus from me to my rival. "And what about you, Tanya?"

The saccharine in her smile matched mine, making me fear that she had something up her sleeve as well. "This must be _The Daily's_ lucky day, then," she purred, her fingers playing with a lock of that ridiculously full and well-behaving hair of hers, "because I'm having coffee with Edward Cullen on Saturday."

_Oh no she didn't!_

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_**Who's hating Tanya right now?**_

_**I've decided to post a day early this week because starting tomorrow I will be on holiday for about ten days. Unfortunately this will mean that there won't be an update next week seeing as I'll still be away. The next update will be on Tuesday July 27**__**th**_

_**To make up for that and the fact that I won't be able to write a personal review reply this time, everyone who reviews this chapter will get a teaser for the next one. I hope to be able to send out as much of them as I can before I have to leave tomorrow, otherwise you'll get it as soon as I'm back next week. Deal?**_

_**As always: loved it? Hated it? Please let me know. **_


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. I am in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise, I just use their creations to have my wicked way with them. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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_**This story wouldn't be what it is without my wonderful beta, **_**The Real Teacher**_**, holding my hand and correcting my many errors. Thank you so much!**_

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**- 5 -**

"This _man_…." Demetri Lalenkov, the prosecutor handling my dad's case made few attempts to veil his disgust as he pointed at my dad as if he were pointing at a dog's accident on the floor. "This man killed an innocent young woman who's only fault was that she trusted him enough to accompany him to his apartment where he stabbed her eleven times and left her slowly bleeding to death when he received a summons from the hospital. _She_ died, scared and alone, while _he _was off trying to play a hero."

"Are you alright?" I whispered as I felt my mother's slight frame tense up even more.

It wasn't as if I didn't already know her answer. As long as I'd known her, I'd never ever seen my mom show any sort of weakness, not even if it was plain for all the world to see that she was suffering. She had perfected the art of keeping a stiff upper lip to the fullest and she wasn't about to stop now. So, knowing she would never ask for it, I wrapped my arm around her, offering her what little comfort I could give.

"I'll be fine," she answered stiffly, though I could feel her body settling into my embrace, taking what strength I could offer her in order to see this through.

Lalenkov, meanwhile, let out a deprecating sound. "The staff at the hospital, when questioned, didn't notice anything out of the ordinary when he met them. Nothing to indicate that he had just raped, beaten and killed an innocent woman."

"That's enough, mister Lalenkov," the judge intervened, sounding more bored and annoyed that Lalenkov was stalling procedures with his detailed descriptions of the atrocities my father supposedly committed than interested in hearing them. "Save your outrage for the jury."

"All I'm saying, your honor, is that the people of Seattle shouldn't be susceptible to a murderer that cold hearted and cruel, not even if he's wearing an ankle bracelet. He could be out there killing another innocent young girl tomorrow!"

"Objection!" Garrett roared. "Your honor? I was under the notion that we would be discussing my client's bail conditions today, not have him stand trial for murder!"

"Sustained," the judge nodded, once more addressing Lalenkov. "Please stick to the facts, councilor, or – even better – rest your case for now. You've made your opinion on this matter very clear."

Lalenkov growled something under his breath before he sat down, indicating that the prosecution was done bashing my dad for now.

"Is that it?" my mom whispered, folding her hand over mine, which was still hanging over her shoulder.

"As far as the bickering over and back goes…yes," I explained. "All we have to do now is wait for the judge to rule whether or not dad qualifies for electronic house arrest."

She turned towards me as much as our present situation allowed. "And when will he do that?"

The judge chose that particular moment to start speaking. "I'm thinking right now," I answered with a smile, wondering whether or not the fact that the judge didn't need any time to deliberate was a good thing or not.

It soon turned out to be a good thing.

As I released a breath I had been holding for God knew how long, I couldn't help but sneak another glance over my shoulder. _She was still there._

What was she doing here? Was it just out of curiosity? Or did she come here out of revenge? Did she take pleasure in seeing my family's downfall? I didn't think so, judging by the compassion in her eyes I had managed to catch on the few occasions our eyes had met.

_God…she was…. _

I didn't know why her being here affected me so much, or even how it was that I was still able to recognize her after spending ten years on opposite sides of the country. All I knew was that I had to talk to her. Had to, as in my personal well-being depended on it.

_Great. Now I was starting to lose my mind on top of everything else. _

She seemed to be checking me out as much as I was doing the same to her. And judging from the way she blushed furiously every time I caught her steeling glances at me from underneath those long, dark lashes and the way she kept biting her lip and looking everywhere but in my direction at other moments, she was every bit as confused and conflicted as I was. She had more right to be so, though, considering the complete and utter asshole I'd been to her.

"_You don't...want me?" _

I could remember it as if it were yesterday, the frightened girl standing across from me in that thick, dense forest that stretched out behind our backyard, the sunlight pouring in through the trees creating a pattern of light and darkness on her pale white skin.

Her persistence and confidence that this was all some kind of cosmic joke I was playing on her had made me lash out in anger as I remembered every single disgusting discovery I'd made in my dad's office.

_Renee Swan lying on her back dressed in nothing but a thin sheet of fabric and thick layers of lust, one hand stretched out towards the lens of the camera while the other rested seductively between the apex of her legs…_

I shook my head, trying to shake the images that still haunted me out of them before my mind took me to vista's that were even worse than the one I'd just remembered.

I'd had to break it off. Or, at least, I thought I had to back then. There was no way I could face her mother or – for that matter – her father after what I'd seen and act normal. No, it had all been for the best. But that didn't mean I didn't owe her a better explanation than the one I'd given her that day though.

"Edward?" I looked over to see my mom frown at me.

"Sorry," I apologized. "I spaced out for a bit. What were you saying?"

By now it was abundantly clear that the judge didn't see any harm in releasing my dad to his remote country home, the effect of his ruling immediately becoming visible as the most intense form of relief on my mother's face. "Will we be able to take your father home with us today?"

I sighed, shaking my head. "They are going to have to setup the whole house arrest thing and that will take a while." I smiled at her, hopefully giving her hope, as I patted her hand. "It won't take too long though. He'll probably be home by Monday…Tuesday at the latest."

I had just forced myself to focus my attention back on the judge's ruling in our case when a loud bang claimed my attention. When I turned I was just in time to see Bella hightail it out of the courtroom leaving nothing but dust and confusion in her wake.

_What the hell? _

I was just able to stop the rumble in my chest from turning into a full blown growl as I watched the doors snap shut again. This was _not_ how it was supposed to be. She was supposed to sit on her ass and wait for the judge to be done and then we were going to talk. I was going to explain to her what I'd found out, she was going to agree with me that her mother really was a whore and then we were either going to skip off into the sunshine or part ways never to think about the other again (I hadn't really decided on that one). There was no scenario that had _her_ walking out on _me_.

"Are you alright, darling?" mom asked, her hand gently squeezing mine.

She'd had to ask that question too many times today.

"I'm great, mom," I answered, trying to muster every bit of fake peace of mind I could rally. "You?"

"Ecstatic," she sighed, resting her head against my shoulder as we all waited for the judge to finish speaking so that we could finally congratulate Garrett on a job well-done and get some time with dad before they dragged him back to jail.

When the gavel finally came down my mom all but sprinted over to my dad, throwing herself into his arms as if the world was coming to an end. A wry smile passed my lips as I thought about how, for the last couple of days, that could have very possibly been what her life had been like. She loved the bastard, even in spite of his many flaws. She had to, because she had stood by his side and defended him for all those years while he went behind her back and lived the life of a fucking bachelor in his downtown apartment.

"Edward," he nodded solemnly as soon as he spotted me standing on the fringe of their happy little reunion. He held out his hand to me, the offer lingering in mid-air as I debated whether or not to take it.

My mom's hopeful, pleading eyes decided the matter for me, though even I had to admit that it felt better than I thought it should. "Dad."

"It's good to see you here," he continued, with a hopeful smile as he held my mom close to him, no doubt wanting to cherish every moment he had left before they came to get him.

"It's good to see you get out of jail," I offered. "For now, at least."

He nodded, his face clouding over when he spotted the bailiffs sidling up behind me. "We _will_ talk when I get home," he told me, before focusing all his attention on my mom, the look passing between the two of them not being meant to be seen by anyone but them.

"Esme, dear, are you ready to go?" Garrett asked after we watched my dad disappear through the side exit. "I think it would be better to go out as a group to show our unity as well as keep the press from attacking you."

"Thank you, Garrett," my mother's polite and compose reply came as she continued to look longingly at the closed doors dad had just left through. "I think that will be an excellent plan."

We followed behind Jasper and Garrett as they made their way out of the now mostly empty courtroom, the only people who had stayed behind identifying themselves as members of the press by the way they kept leering at us, hoping to get something that would make the headlines tomorrow.

They probably hadn't dealt with Garrett before.

A seasoned councilor, both in trying cases before the bar and in dealing with the side effects of being a high profile defense attorney, he took my mother by the hand and steered her safely through the gauntlet of press rats, answering their impertinent questions with nothing but a glare of contempt.

I started scanning the hallway the minute we were out of the courtroom but found nothing, much to my disappointment. Had she left? Or had she just wandered further into this colossus of justice looking for whatever it was that brought her here?

We were already halfway through our journey downstairs when I did spot a familiar face. Not the one I'd been looking for, but the girl who'd been with her when she came into the court room.

Maybe she could help me get what I wanted.

Deciding it was now or never I started to drift a bit further away from my party, immediately attracting a curious stare from my mother.

"I'll be back in a minute mom," I excused myself. "There's something I have to do…." I had the sneaking suspicion that telling her that Bella Swan was here and that I was planning to stalk her into letting me apologize wouldn't go over too well. At least not with my dad painted as a vicious predator in all of the local – and even some nationwide – media.

She just smiled, probably thinking I had to use the restroom or something. "Just take care you don't run into any of those ghastly reporters while you're on your own," she warned me. "I've found out the hard way there is precious little they will stop at to get what they want."

"I'll be careful mom," I chuckled, kissing her cheek. "I'm quite capable of looking after myself, you know."

"I do know," she answered with a sigh. "I just don't want you to get hurt."

She was gone before I could answer, sucked into the protective scrum of lawyers around her as she made her way to the exit. The one thing that had always really struck me about my mom was her compassion. She hardly ever seemed to think about herself, not even when she was all by herself in that big old house.

I shook my head as I watched her slowly and carefully descend the stairs. She could have had so much more if she hadn't felt the need to 'stand by her man'. She could have had a life, gone places, seen places….but instead she's become stuck in small town Forks and Woodway, burying her disappointment in the sand of her garden while she waited for her husband and her son to finally get their heads out of their asses and start appreciating all of the hard work and sacrifice she'd put into her family.

_God, I was such an ass!_

If there was anything this whole big trip down memory lane had taught me was that you could run from your past, but it would eventually catch up with you. Always. For the last seven years I'd been successfully in denial about my life back here while I was living it up in Boston, but I knew now that I could never go back to that. Not without trying to silence my ghosts or something.

"Well, there's no time like the present," I chuckled to myself as I approached the unidentified friend of my former soul mate.

I could see she'd recognized me from the way she subtly tried to pull her shoulders back, making her boobs pop out a bit more (as if they didn't already) as she watched my approach from the corners of her eyes. As soon as I got near enough, though, she was immediately on the offensive. "Hello," she purred, her eyes scanning all over, me as if I were a piece of meat. "Can I help you?"

I flashed her that crooked smile of mine that always seemed to make everything bearing tits and a vagina melt. "I think you might, miss."

She seemed appropriately dazzled for a moment before she managed to compose herself enough to grab my outstretched hand. "Denali. Tanya Denali."

"Edward," I stated, watching as she tried to subdue her triumph while she latched on to my hand a little too long for comfort, still going with the whole 'I have no idea who the hell you are' routine.

She was a good actress, I had to hand that to her. But not a great one.

"So, do you want to tell me what I can help you with?" she asked after a while, "or do you just want me to guess at it?" She was batting her (probably fake) lashes at me like her life depended on it. If we hadn't been indoors I would have sworn some bug had just flown into her eyes or something.

"No, no,' I chuckled, taking a step backwards before the overwhelming stank of her perfume could paralyze my brain. "I was just wondering what two young women like you and your friend, miss…."

"Swan." Judging from the way she all but spat out the name she and Bella weren't the best of friends.

"Ah, miss Swan…" I continued, trying to hide my amusement when her whole face seemed to scrunch up in disgust when I spoke the name. "I couldn't help but wonder what the two of you were doing at a boring old bail hearing like that one." I nudged my head in the direction of the courtroom we'd just come out of.

"I could ask the same of you," she parried, the sickly sweet floral scent of her perfume taking my breath away as she inched closer again. "You can't be that much older than we are and still _you_ were there."

"I'm a member of the defendant's legal team," I shrugged, deciding that for now my actual relation to the defendant was probably best kept secret.

She was more perceptive than I gave her credit for, though, or I must have done a terrible job at lying to her, because she let out a conceited little cackle while she shook her head. "Do you actually expect me to believe that? For a member of the defense team you're awfully touchy feely with the defendant's wife."

Fuck! I should have known that in this day and age an act of kindness was sure to come back and bite you in the ass.

"Tell me," she purred, leaning into me as she continued in a low whisper. "Does Doctor Cullen know how close you and his wife are?"

I couldn't help but chuckle. "He probably does, but I doubt he'd mind. I'm his son. Edward _Cullen_."

She leaned back, smiling like the Cheshire Cat. "Now we're getting somewhere."

"No, _you _are," I quipped. "You still didn't tell me what you and Miss Swan were doing there."

"We were there on business," she shrugged as if it was the most normal answer in the world to give.

"Business?" I repeated, letting my eyes glide over her fine (I had to admit that she was rather pretty underneath all that hair and makeup) shape. What kind of business could Bella have had in a courtroom? Was she somehow involved with my dad? Or, like me, studying for the bench?

"We're reporters, actually," she answered in a matter-of-factly tone. "We're covering the case for _The Daily_."

I should have known that. I was a lawyer, for heaven's sake. I should have had the judgment of character and common sense to see that that was the only reason two young, beautiful women would sacrifice their morning to attend a boring law procedure.

I should have realized it, but still, I couldn't imagine Bella Swan as a reporter. Not for the life of me. She'd always struck me as someone who'd have a more _bohemian_ profession or, like her whore of a mother, a lot of different jobs (and men). Being a journalist and living a regular life somehow seemed too normal for her.

"The Daily, huh,' I managed to stammer after a while as I tried to remember a newspaper called the daily from the rows of papers all screaming for my dad's head on a platter I'd come across at the newsstand. "I don't think I know that one."

Her face fell a little when I failed to recognize the title. "It's _The Daily of the University of Washington_, actually."

"Ah." So Bella was still in college? Doing a quick sum in my head, I gathered the whore must have gotten her wish after all. For as long as I could remember Renee had went on and on about how after high school graduation, every young woman should take a year to discover herself and all that crap.

"So," Tanya was back in all her flirty force as she smiled seductively at me. "Do you think you could give me an exclusive insight into the mind of Carlisle Cullen?"

"Only to have you twist my words and use them to paint an even blacker picture of him than the one we've seen already?" I snorted, crossing my arms in front of my chest. "No thanks."

She put her hand on my arms. "I _would_ never do a thing like that. In fact, I find your assessment of me rather insulting. To me journalism is all about giving your audience both sides of the story and leaving it to them to draw their own – well informed – conclusion. I would paint a fair picture of him….give the audience the chance to see the side of him they've been missing so far."

Adequate as she might have been at lying, I wasn't fooled one bit by her amateur dramatics. "Thanks for the offer, but I'm going to have to decline," I answered. Even if Garrett would magically think it a good idea to cue the press in on my dad's story, I doubt he would have chosen someone like Tanya to do the job.

"Well, I'll be at Barolo's at noon on Saturday, if you change your mind," she stated, pressing a business-card into my hands before turning on her heels and marching away like all of this was just a trifle to her.

She was going to be so fucking disappointed when I didn't show up ….

**-x-**

The next day Jasper, Garrett and I were back at almost the same spot to update my dad on the latest developments in his case and get another blow by blow from my dad on the events that happened the night of the murder. King County Jail, conveniently attached to the courthouse next door, was a place similarly depressing to all of the departments of corrections I had visited while in law school, though the fact that somewhere inside my dad was locked up made it seem even more oppressive.

"Are you sure you want to be here, son?" Garrett asked as he caught my involuntary shiver while we went through check up and signed the visitor's register.

"I'm sure," I nodded with face conviction as we followed a guard to a small private room where we could talk to my dad without people eavesdropping on us.

Yesterday's bench trial has given us a small peak into the prosecution's game plan and, though their tactic of playing the 'depraved monsters commits premeditated and torturous murder' card didn't really surprise any of us, we knew we had to get our facts in order if we were going to convince the jury of my dad's innocence.

Demetri Lalenkov might have been stupid enough to give us a peek into his game plan, we'd be nuts to underestimate the execution of his plan. A seasoned and trusted assistant district attorney like Lalenkov didn't need the element of surprise to get himself a positive outcome. Especially not in a case that appeared as open and shut as this one.

"When do I get out?" were the first words my dad spoke as he shuffled into the room. The chair scraped against the linoleum as dad pulled it back, halting all conversation until he was seated across from Garrett and Jasper. "Well?"

Garrett sighed. "Not before Monday. They won't get round to installing the home monitoring device in your house before the weekend. You know how it is…."

"Yeah, yeah," he sighed, making a dismissive gesture. "I'd just hoped to be out of here by then. I miss my home…my family."

I narrowed my eyes, my anger taking over for a moment as I spoke. "Strange how mom and I never really noticed how attached you were to us."

Garrett and Jasper both shot me withering glares while my dad just sighed, his eyes sad and remorseful. "It may not have been shown in the way it should, Edward, but my heart was always with the two of you. God knows I have a lot of things I need to answer for, but I was never the coldhearted bastard you seem to think I am."

"Carlisle…." Garrett intervened. "Perhaps it's best we focus on the case?" Another withering glare from Jasper told me that that same thing applied to me.

So I kept my mouth shut as Jasper and Garrett debriefed my dad on their latest findings, which – unfortunately – weren't much. With most of the evidence not being released from the DA's offices we had precious little to go on, apart from the stuff my dad could help us out with.

From where I stood on the fringes of the conversation (literally, since I was leaning against the door) I almost started feeling sorry for him. Here he was, Carlisle Cullen, the flashy and filthy rich brain surgeon, locked up with the thugs and gangbangers from da hood. Somehow that combination seemed laughable.

My dad didn't belong here.

Whether or not that meant that I believed my dad to be innocent remained to be seen. Sure, the man I thought I knew wouldn't have been capable of murder but then again; at the age of fifteen I'd never though my dad capable of deceit and adultery either. And look where that got me. So I remained skeptical, even though a fast growing part of me _wanted_ to believe he was innocent.

"I'm sorry Carlisle," Garrett offered. "Please believe me, we're doing everything we can…."

"I know," dad interrupted him, "but somehow I don't think you braved mid-morning traffic just to tell me there's nothing new to tell."

Garrett chuckled. "No I didn't. The reason I'm here is that we want to go over your story again. The statement you gave us before checks out but there are a few points that remain a bit…sketchy to say the least."

"Okay," dad nodded, shooting a rather worried look in my direction as I remained stoically leaning against the door. _He didn't want me to hear this stuff._

"We want you to go over the whole story again," Jasper explained. "Just start at the beginning and move to the part where the cops came to arrest you. If we think there's part of the story that needs clarifying we'll interrupt you to let you know."

"Fine," dad sighed, dragging his hand through his hair and rubbing his eyes before he started his account of what happened. "I was at home – my shift had ended at seven and I was just fixing myself some dinner…."

I snorted since I knew from experience that that was a lie. Dad had never managed to boil an egg without burning the kitchen down. Somehow I didn't believe he would cook himself dinner, rather than eat one someone else had cooked for him.

"Edward," Garrett warned, reminding me of the deal we'd struck. I only got to be on this case for as long as I conducted myself in a way that was purely professional.

And snorting at something the client says definitely wasn't. Just like accusing the client of being a bad parent.

Dad just smiled apologetically at me. "He's right. I was fixing my takeout onto a plate. I should have been more precise."

"Fine!" Garrett grumbled. "Now that we've established who did the cooking, can we please get down to business?"

"Jeez, do you have to catch a train or something?" dad joked, flashing a broad smile as he leaned back into his chair. When only Jasper and I could match his smile with grins of our own, he continued in a more serious tone. "So, as I said, I was just prepping my takeaway when the doorbell rings. It was Jane, or Doctor Foster as I should probably call her, wanting to talk to me urgently."

"Did that happen a lot?" Jasper interrupted.

"Not a lot," dad explained. "But this wasn't the first time she contacted me outside of work."

"Was it a social visit or work-related?" Garrett wanted to know.

"Both," dad replied curtly.

"Carlisle," Garrett sighed. "You know you have to give us more than that."

"Jane….she found herself in circumstances she didn't want to be in. Not anymore, at least," my father started, the way he was carefully measuring each word before he spoke it out loud ringing every damn alarm bell my three years of law school had installed within me. He was nervous and – more importantly – he was holding back. I just knew it.

He continued before Garrett could push him any further. "She wanted out and seeing as I was the only one who could help her with that, she came to me."

"_Carlisle_," Garrett warned.

"That's all I want to say on the matter for now," dad answered, the finality in his voice leaving no room for negotiation. "If it comes up in court or anywhere else, I'll revisit my statement. But for now I want to leave it at that."

His eyes briefly shifted over to me before he continued. "Now, do you want to hear the rest of the story?"

Garrett growled something under his breath, leaving it to Jasper to answer the question. "Please, continue. But I do want to go on the record and inform you that you may seriously be harming your defense if you don't give us everything. The District Attorney's office has a lot more resources than we do when it comes to finding out the dirt on their defendants. If they bring up something in court that we don't know about….well, a baffled defense attorney doesn't look good to a jury."

Dad's eyes shifted to me again. "Noted," he grumbled under his breath, his hands wrapped around the metal frame of his chair in a vise-like grip.

I frowned. What the hell was going on? "Do you want me to leave?" I offered, because as curious as I was to hear my dad's story, I wasn't about to let my own morbid curiosity get in the way of my dad's defense."

"No." Dad shook his head determinedly. "I've said all I have to say on the matter."

And that was it, as far as he was concerned. A laden silence hung over the room for a couple of minutes as dada and I stared at each other, he silently begging me to accept the fact that he was keeping stuff from us while I was desperately trying to understand why he'd do that.

"So Jane was in your apartment?" Jasper continued, breaking the uncomfortable silence.

Dad nodded, shifting in his seat to angle his body back towards his defense team. "We talked and shared dinner before I got called away. The condition of one of my patients had suddenly deteriorated and he needed….."

"Were you and Doctor Foster ever…intimate, during the time you spent together?" Garrett interrupted.

"No," my dad answered decidedly, looking only at me as he spoke.

"Not then?" Jasper pushed.

"Not ever," he growled, his gaze landing on me again, as if to make sure I knew. "I know what they're saying but it isn't true. There may have been rumors about my alleged trysts with scores of female hospital staff but those are nonsense, as I hope everyone who knows me will know. The only women that have ever set foot in my apartment are Jane and my cleaning lady and- just so that this is clear once and for all –I haven't slept with either of them."

Garrett sighed. "Thank God, though it's going to be one hell of a job getting a jury to believe you."

He groaned, rubbing his temple. "I know it's going to be hard to make the jury believe that. Hell, it's hard enough making my own son believe it!"

Both Garrett and Jasper looked my way just in time to see me scowl back at my dad before I managed to pull my face back into a neutral position as dad continued. "I'm no fool. I know what it looks like – suave, high profile neurosurgeon with a downtown apartment? – but the fact of the matter is that I only bought the place because it's convenient for work. Look at that day, for instance. If I'd been home in Woodway that day, there was no way I would have been back at the hospital in time to save my patient's life…."

I had to fight to suppress another snort as I listened to my dad shamelessly state that he only kept his apartment out of humanitarian reasons. Yeah right. He wasn't fooling me with all his cleaning lady stories. I found it hard to believe that a man with the physical appearance of a player and a past history of adultery would spend his nights alone in bed, catching up on his beauty sleep.

"I know," Garrett soothed, probably thinking that, since the climate in the room had chilled considerable, he should be the one to take on the role of UN peacekeeper, "but you know we had to ask, right? The ME concluded in his preliminary statement that the victim had had sex very shortly before her death and since she had been spending the majority of her evening at your place…."

"Did they find any trace of it being me?" dad countered.

"No, but they did find traces of spermicide in the rape kit, indicating that whoever she had intercourse with probably used a condom."

"So that just leaves us with my word against the general prejudice and the state prosecutor's insinuations," dad grumbled. "Great."

"You say you were called away?" Garret asked, tying – no doubt – to diffuse the situation. "At what time was that?"

Dad frowned. "I think it was around midnight. I can't be sure, though."

"We can check that against the data from your provider," Jasper said. "You said before that you spend the rest of the night at the hospital?"

"I did," dad nodded. "My patient needed emergency surgery, so I spend most of the night in an ER, trying to save the man's life as well as his motor functions. There are about half a dozen witnesses who can confirm it."

Garrett nodded. "And you stayed at the hospital after you were done?"

"Yes," he nodded. "By the time my patient was safely back in recovery it was already close to five AM so there wouldn't be a point in going back home to get an hour of sleep before making it back to the hospital in time for the start of my shift."

"And the police came in…."

"Between seven and eight. We were just in the middle of morning rounds when they dragged me out of there."

"Carlisle," Jasper asked. "Does anyone apart from you have a key to the apartment?"

Dad shook his head, before thinking of something. "Well, no one except for Esme and not even I know where she keeps it."

Jasper made note of something on the paper sheet in front of him.

"What," dad growled. "You're not trying to insinuate she did it, do you? Esme wouldn't hurt a fly. Not even when it threatened her precious garden!" For once I agreed with him. What the hell was that dickwad doing, hinting at any kind of involvement of my mom in this case?

"Calm down," Garrett intervened again, looking over his shoulder at me. "Both of you. The only reason we have to ask is that there were no signs of break in so whoever did kill Jane must have had a key. If you or your wife didn't provide them with it, someone else did."

"Well, I don't know," dad growled, not yet his own calm self again.

Just then a thought popped into my head. "What about the cleaning lady, dad? Doesn't she have a key?"

"Right," dad chuckled, scratching his head. "She does, but I don't see her capable of murder any more than mom is. She's been with the family for years."

"What was she doing at your apartment at four in the morning anyway," Garrett asked after giving me an appreciative nod. "It seems a bit…strange for a domestic help to be starting that early in the morning.

"Esmeralda knows my schedule," dad shrugged. "She's free to come in and do her job at any time she liked provided that I'm absent at that time. It's an arrangement that has worked for years."

Garrett sighed. "But four AM?"

"As far as I'm concerned Esmeralda is above suspicion," dad stated decidedly.

That being so, Jasper still scribbled down the name and address for the cleaning lady before he and Garrett wrapped up their 'conversation' with my dad.

I sighed as I leaned back against the door. I was sure my dad's story would hold up when checked against the facts. It was credible and factual and Garrett would have no trouble building his defense up around it.

The thing was, though….I still wasn't sure if I _believed_ it.

* * *

_**Poor Edward. But then again, for all his asshole-behavior in the past he kind of deserves it, don't you think?**_

_**Next chapter will see Bella make a couple of discoveries and one of those will force her into the dreaded (well, as far as she's concerned) meeting with the evil ex (aka Edward). Excited? **_

_**As always: loved it? Hated it? Please let me know. **_


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. I am in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise, I just use their creations to have my wicked way with them. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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_**This story wouldn't be what it is without my wonderful beta, **_**The Real Teacher**_**, holding my hand and correcting my many errors. Thank you so much!**_

_**I also want to thank my dear friend Ange de l'Aube for rec'in Absolution in the latest chapter of her amazing story Âme Soeur. If you like the mystery-aspects of my story, you are going to love hers as well. **_

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_**First off I owe you all an apology. Not only did I post a week late, this chapter also doesn't deliver on the promise I made at the end of the last chapter. The reason behind both is that this chapter has been giving me an unimaginable amount of grief. When I was done with the first draft of it, it felt kind of wrong and missing something, which was crazy since it sat at a word count of over 8,000 at that time. **_

_**Then, when I was editing I realized what it was that needed to happen and basically rewrote the whole damned thing. When I stepped back from it again I was finally happy about it but since it had by then turned into a 12,000 word, 26 page monstrosity, I knew I had to cut it in half (since I'm all kinds of anal about wanting the same kind of chapter sizes throughout the story), thereby making this chapter a transitional one that sets up for all the action in chapters 7 & 8. So I guess I have to ask for your patience for one more chapter before some epic stuff starts to go down. **_

_**That being said, there are a lot of seeds planted in this one so though it may be a transitional chapter, it is by no means unimportant. **_

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_**This chapter is dedicated to Trayce (monamour) who is fighting for her life right now. Please spare her a few moments in thought and/or prayer. She really needs it. **_

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**- 6 - **

Something iffy was going on.

It was a feeling that seemed to grow exponentially with time as I sat across from Alec Foster and his 'friend' Marcus Lehman (friend my ass, you could see that the guy was his lawyer from a mile away) that Friday at the expensive eatery he'd told me to meet him.

Alec had been talking nonstop ever since the waiter had asked us about our orders but I had yet to hear something I hadn't already read a thousand times in all of the previous interviews and articles on Jane Foster I'd found on the internet.

It was the same old story all over again, and in almost the exact same words. Which kind of explained my growing unease. Everything he told me….it just all seemed to…rehearsed and coincidental to my taste and the fact that we were even being here, sitting down to lunch in a fancy schmanzy restaurant was completely ridiculous. I mean, why – out of all the newspapers in Seattle – choose an unknown reporter from a college newspaper to give an interview to? It just didn't make sense.

Unlike Tanya I wasn't naïve enough to think that out of all the big papers in the city, one of the major players in this case would chose The Daily to give the exclusive to. That would either be galactically stupid or….well it would be stupid.

Sure enough, Alec seemed to be genuinely distraught – or at least acted that way – over the loss of his sister when he spoke about her but even in his grief there was something so utterly contrived about him that it was giving me the creeps. It was almost as if he had a split personality with one part being a normal human being while the other operated like a piece of machinery….a robot.

And I wondered who held the controls.

The lawyer, on his end, seemed to find me utterly intriguing for some strange reason. Not that I was completely fug or something, but I knew my weaknesses and I wasn't exactly Giselle Bunchen kind of hot or anything. Not in a way that would warrant a man spending the best part of ninety minutes (yes, I'd been counting) staring at me like I was some kind of fairytale creature. And he wasn't even trying to sneak a peek at my non-existent boobs or anything. He was just….studying me like he was watching some kind of chemistry experiment. It was almost like he was expecting something of me….

I frowned while on the other side of the table, Alec kept yapping on and on about how great a person his sister was when she was still alive, his posture conveniently angles so that no whisper would escape my trusty little voice recorder which was placed in front of him on the table.

Could it be that they knew about my past history with the Cullens? It would sure as hell explain their sudden interest in helping a young, inexperienced journalist to make a name for herself.

It couldn't be. Could it?

Technically speaking, they could. Not that there would have been as much information about me at hand as there had been about them. My mom had always been weary of the internet, claiming the government was probably using it to keep track of everyone and mold them to their wicked ways or kill the originality of our minds or something, so there wasn't much on there that could lead them back to my time in Forks.

But there was bound to be _something_.

Thing was ….if they knew about me and Edward, what the hell were they doing here? They'd be mad to think I would paint a favorable picture of Jane Foster if they thought I was a member of Team Cullen.

But then again, maybe they also knew about how things had come to an end between me and Edward and took that to mean that I would probably support them in their views of Carlisle as the modern day version of the Antichrist.

Ugh! All these intrigues were giving me a headache no amount of fine and expensive food washed away with an even more expensive glass of _Brunello_ could erase. I wasn't used to being under scrutiny like that. Part of the reason why I chose research journalism as my specialty was that it allowed me to blend into the background as I sifted through files, archives and observed from my safe, quiet spot on the fringes of the news. I hated being the center of attention, and another reason why I couldn't wait to get out of there.

Meanwhile Alec went on, still seemingly oblivious to my discomfort. "Did you know she called me that day?" he asked, his hand tightening around his nearly empty water glass.

I perked up, finally hearing something I hadn't come across in the many newspaper clippings I'd devoured in preparation for this meeting. "She called you before she met Dr. Cullen?"

"She did," he nodded with a sigh. "She sounded so confident and cheerful…..so full of life. I wish I would have done something…talked some sense into her…anything to convince her to not give in to that _beast_."

The lawyer tensed up, the movement of his arm indicating that he was silently communicating something to Alec out of my sight under the table (that or he was giving Alec a covert handjob which, considering the topic of conversation didn't seem likely). My bet was that he was trying to get Alec to stop talking before he blabbed something they needed to hold under wraps until trial.

Alec didn't seem to care much for secrecy though. "Just the usual," he muttered, shrugging his shoulders absentmindedly as he answered my question about what it was that his sister had told him during that last conversation. "She said she'd be late and that I shouldn't wait up…."

He looked at me, his sadness and grief so genuine and heartbreaking that it was startling after all the fakeness I'd had to endure so far. "My sister thought she was invincible….that because she was beautiful and smart and very well connected nothing could hurt her…"

He stared off into the distance, his steel blue eyes seeing something that wasn't inside this room. "I wish she'd been right….but most of all: I wish she'd never met that _man_. Had she been just a little less ambitious….."

"I think that will be enough for today," the lawyer- dude interfered, patting Alec's hand in what was probably supposed to be a friendly, fatherly gesture but would be perceived by both parties as a threat.

And boy did it work! I could almost see the shutters coming up again in front of me, the cold and calculating front firmly back in place as Alec grabbed his wineglass and emptied it down his throat in one big old gulp. "I agree," he nodded coldly. "I've spent way too much time on this…_interview_ or whatever you call speaking to a trainee journalist from a university rag already."

His insults were too artificial to cause a sting and even without my ample training in being scorned and rejected by the people I wanted to speak to, I would have had no trouble managing a genuine smile as I took my leave. "I thank you for your time. I do have one last request though, if it isn't too much trouble."

"And what might that be?" Alec asked disinterestedly as the lawyer's eyes were trained on me once more while I switched off my voice recorder and carefully placed it in my bag.

"I was wondering if you could send me a recent photograph of your sister? Maybe one of the two of you together?" I boldly stated. "All we have to go on at _The Daily_ are a few grainy scans and her official university picture and that last one is rather…stiff."

I could see by Alec's smirk that he knew what I was talking about but since the lawyer didn't seem all that convinced I decided to lay it on a bit thicker. "I doubt Jane looked all that much like Julie Andrews in real life."

The lawyer actually managed a smile from underneath all that starch as he answered me. "If you leave your contact information with Mr. Foster I think we will be able to work something out, won't we?"

He went on as Alec nodded. "After all, we can't have people think our dear Jane was anything if not vibrant and beautiful."

"She was," Alec muttered along with a muffled 'thank you' before the lawyer ushered him out of the building, leaving me not that much the wiser.

Not that it was a complete waste of time though.

As long as I could get a pretty decent meal out of a lunch meeting and walk away with maybe a few pictures no other newspaper had, I considered the two hours I'd spend opposite Strange and Stranger well spent, even if those two kind of creeped me out.

My phone started buzzing again as I walked out of the fancy restaurant, the feeling of the vibrations against my leg making me groan.

Not Jake _again_!

He had been calling me all through the week, begging me to come back home for the weekend because he missed me so much and because he wanted to discuss his plans of expanding his small home into something that could accommodate a family in detail which, unsurprisingly, was about the last thing I wanted to do right now.

I guess his plans for our joined future should have totally made me turn to mush had I been a proper girlfriend to him, but being as I was it only annoyed the hell out of me. I had a job to do, articles to write, current event to catch up on and classes to prepare for. A clingy boyfriend was just about the last thing I needed. And that was without even mentioning the fact that I couldn't phantom myself living with the guy indefinitely right now, let alone start a family with him.

Unfortunately, judging by the five or six calls I'd missed while I had been conducting serious journalism, said clingy boyfriend didn't seem to understand. I was really starting to get pissed off when, right after the first call ended after buzzing for an unholy length of time, the damn thing started vibrating again. "Dammit!" I groaned. "Doesn't the boy know when enough is enough?"

If only I'd put the damn crackberry inside my panties instead of my pants pocket I might actually have walked away feeling satisfied but I should have known that no encounter with Jacob Black could ever do that.

As I had ample proof.

Unable to stand it any longer I snatched the machine of the devil out of my pocket and barked into it, not even bothering to check the caller-ID. "What?"

"Bells?" a deep familiar voice spoke hesitantly.

Shit. "Daddy?"

"What's going on, Bella?" It was obvious that the acidity in my voice had immediately kicked him into police chief-mode. "Is someone bothering you? Is it some _boy_?"

I rolled my eyes at him as I walked out of the restaurant. "I'm fine dad. No one is bothering me. Well, except for you."

"Good," he spoke, and I could almost see the gruff look on his face that normally accompanied those kind of speeches. My dad still wasn't sold on the idea of his little girl being all alone in the big city without a male protector to keep her from getting raped, drugged or burgled.

It was one of the many things he and Jake completely agreed upon.

"So why are you calling?" I asked. It wasn't like my dad to make social calls. His calls, if he even called, were always short, business like and to the point. In fact, if it weren't for Sue I'd barely even know what was going on in Forks while I was away.

Which was why I was getting a little nervous, especially when it was taking him a lot of time to answer. "Is everything alright, dad?"

He sighed. "Now don't go getting all nervous or something…." he warned.

Which – of course – made me nervous as hell. "Dad? Is everything alright?" I insisted.

"It will be," he assured me, his soothing voice only partly succeeding in its quest to calm me down. "It's just that Sue has had a little accident this morning."

"An accident?" I yelled, startling a few people around me but not giving a flying fart about that or the fact that they probably thought I was crazy. "What happened? Is she okay?"

"She'll be fine, sweetheart, don't worry. She just found out the hard way that no matter how artsy a piece of wood looks, a woman her age doesn't have any business climbing up a tree."

I barely managed to contain a snort as I thought about the small, Native American woman scaling a tree in her quest for the best possible materials for her art. This was so like the Sue I knew and loved. "So she fell out of a tree?"

"Yep," he chuckled, "and managed to hit a few branches on her way down. She was damn lucky though, and not just because this one time she did remember to take her cell phone with her when she left home. The woman could have killed herself but in the end all she did was break her ankle and bruise a couple of ribs."

"Ouch!" I groaned, knowing firsthand how bruised ribs made a person feel.

"I know," dad grumbled. "Which brings me to the reason I'm calling…."

"You want me to come back for the weekend," I guessed, knowing my dad wasn't exactly Florence Nightingale-material and even if he was, he still had to work.

"Can you?" he asked his desperation clear in his voice. "I've got almost back to back shifts this weekend and with Craig in Hawaii and Novello's wife in labor there's no way I'm going to get someone to cover for me. I mean….if it's too much trouble I could ask Novello to come in for a few hours tomorrow…"

"That's okay dad," I chuckled, trying to interrupt his rambling. "There's not need to drag Novello away from his family. I'm perfectly capable of stepping in and….."

"Normally Seth and Leah would have been fine on their own or with Jake camping out on the couch, but since Sue needs help in getting to the bathroom I don't think Seth or Jake would be comfortable playing nurse and as for Leah…."

"I'll be there, dad!" I called out. If I hadn't already decided to go, the prospect of seeing my stepmom left to the care of her scary ass daughter would have been enough to win me over. There was no way I would subject poor Sue to the emo bride of Dracula.

Daughter or not.

Which was why, that evening I pulled up in front of the small, white house nestled against the thick green forest, 'Jerry Garcia' – my antique Chevy pickup truck – letting out a deep grumble of relief when I switched off the engine. Being forced to drive the distance between Forks and Seattle twice in the same week might have been a little bit much to ask of my old friend.

"Bella!" two voices belted out in unison the minute my big red old beast of a truck turned into the driveway, a dirt stained football flying right past my head and into the undergrowth.

I chuckled as I watched Jake and Seth run at me, their game of one on one football momentarily forgotten. "Don't you guys know how to make a girl feel all special?"

Jake was the first one to reach me and he offered me his arm to help me out of my car as he eyes twinkled with happiness. "That's because you are, babe."

I blushed, my annoyance at him momentarily forgotten as he gave me that boyish smile that had made me fall for him in the first place (that and the fact that both Charlie and Sue thought I should).

"Charmer!"

Seth was barely able to hide his disgust as Jake pulled me into a hug and kissed me thoroughly. My little step-brother was at that age now where all displays of affection were disgusting, most of all when they had something to do with the people he knew. When it came to himself, though, he was a little less disgusted of all the attention his good looks got him from the girls at school…

"If the two of you are done swapping germs, can we get inside?" he complained when he thought we were taking too long. "I'm fucking famished."

Even with my lips still attached to Jake's I managed to reach out and smack him upside the head. "Language!" I growled in between kisses.

Boy should have known. His momma taught him better than that. Plus it wasn't good manners to interrupt a couple when they were making out. Especially not when it was a particularly good make out session, one that had me wondering why we hadn't done much more of that in the past.

"Yeah, well, I wonder if Charlie is going to be happy with the PDA going on in his front yard when I tell him about it," Seth huffed before storming off.

"Big baby," Jake chuckled, rubbing his nose against mine as we finally parted for a much needed breather.

"Nah," I chuckled. "He's just cranky because he needs to be fed."

"Let's just hope my dad gets here soon, then," Jake snorted. "He's bringing the pizza."

"Billy's coming?" I wondered as I helped Jake unload my stuff from the bed of my truck. I really liked Billy and all of his stories from back in the day when he was still a big city cop. He was about the only person around here who understood my need to leave home, if even for just the four years of college, and explore life in the big city.

Jake nodded. "We figured we might as well watch the game over here. Your dad's television is bigger than ours anyway."

I shook my head in mock disappointment as I pouted at him. "And here I was thinking you liked me for my company."

"The company is very pleasurable indeed," he replied, kissing the tip of my nose. "But nothing beats a cold beer and a big ass television screen."

"Asshole," I grumbled, trying to kick his ass as he walked away from me but having my foot meet nothing but air, thereby making my balance shift and me fall flat on my backside onto the gravel. "Now look what you've made me do!"

All I got in reply was the loud roar of laughter emitting from Jake's tall and bulky frame as he watched the scene unfold behind him.

Men!

It was only when I walked into the house and noticed how quiet it was inside without Sue running around trying to do ten different things at once or banging on some piece of unsuspecting wood or bronze in her efforts to shape it into something wonderful.

"How is Sue doing?" I asked as I followed Jake into the foyer.

"How am I supposed to know?" Jake snorted, continuing before I could remind him of the fact that my dad left him in charge of seeing to her needs. "I peeked in about an hour after Charlie left, only to have her all but bite my head off."

"And you didn't go back in after that?" I scowled.

"Hey," Jake shrugged. "Don't blame me for not wanting to end up dismembered and emasculated. I just figured that if she had enough energy to yell at me for making one tiny inappropriate comment she was doing about as well as anyone in her situation _could_ be doing."

I shook my head at him. I should have known. "What did you say this time?"

He waited until he was halfway up the stairs and well out of range until he replied. "I just asked her how Chief Swan's favorite spider monkey was doing."

I snorted, rolling my eyes at him as I trudged on after him. "You're lucky there wasn't anything nearby she could have thrown at you or you might have walked away with a severe concussion."

Sue seemed to share my conclusion when I looked in on her, though mostly she was tired and a little bit embarrassed as well as determined never to climb a tree ever again, not even for all the beautiful pieces of wood in the world.

"And don't you go worrying your head off about me!" she warned me as she tried to squirm into a sitting position, her face betraying the amount of pain she was in. "It's bad enough that your dad thought it necessary to drag you away from school and your work for the paper to come looking after someone who is perfectly fine to look after herself."

I shook my head at her as I helped her lie back again. "Sure, Sue. Keep telling yourself you're doing fine when you can even sit up without being in pain. How were you going to go to the bathroom?"

"I would have figured something out," she pouted. "And I'm serious, Bella. I don't want you coming up here more than four times tonight. You're not going to fall behind on your schoolwork this early on in the semester."

I rolled my eyes at her. Sue had always been very supportive of my bid to conquer the world of journalism. I suspected that partly that was because she'd never had that chance to study and built a career much later on in life. This also might explain why she was a little less enthusiastic about my relationship with Jake than my dad was.

"Yeah, yeah," I grumbled, a little miffed about the fact that now, about ten years too late, someone would start mothering me. "Well, good luck to me with Seth, Jake and Billy downstairs. I'd be amazed if I get more than two minutes of peace and quiet altogether tonight."

Sue snickered, her black hair fanning out on the white fabric of her pillow. "Just do what I always do, Bella."

I arched my brow, wondering what kind of magical cure my stepmom had conjured up to keep her sanity. "And that is?"

She shrugged. "Just smack the one nearest to you upside the head and threaten to bash in the TV screen with a baseball bat at night when there are all conked out after eating and drinking way too much junk food."

I snorted. "Yeah, that'll do the trick."

We sat and chatted some more before Sue started to drift off which meant that – after making sure she had everything she needed – it was time for me to leave her be. God knew she needed all the rest she could get before her own stubbornness would get the better of her and she'd demand to be let out of bed.

By the time I got back down again, after looking in on Leah on my way back to find that she was as okay as a resounding 'fuck you' could indicate, the smells of fresh pizza and sounds of two grown men and a hungry teenage boy acting like a bunch of five year olds were there to greet me.

"Jeez! Would it kill you to actually get some plates and coasters?" I groaned as I noticed the pieces of half eaten pizza lying discarded on the table while the condensation from the cold bottles of beer drew circles into the wooden table top. "Sue is so going to kill you when she's better."

They didn't even acknowledge me. They were too wrapped up in whatever kind of sports was on to even see me come into the room. In fact, I didn't think they'd even notice if I'd stripped down to my skin, jumped on top of that very table and started performing the _Macarena_. That was, unless I was accidentally blocking someone's view.

"Men!" I grumbled, sending them a scathing (yet unnoticed) death glare on my way to the kitchen to get a cold bottle of beer from the fridge and a plate for my food.

Jake had the decency to look a bit guilty when I shoved him out of the way to make room for myself on the couch. "I guess I should have brought you one as well, huh," he muttered as he folded his lips around his bottle to take another swig.

"Damn straight," I pouted. "For all your grumbling about me running off to Seattle you're damn lucky I'm such a strong independent woman who takes care of her own needs or I would have starved to death a long time ago."

He grinned, probably thinking he could dazzle me into forgetting all about his negligent ways. "I love you?"

I rolled my eyes at him, tearing a mouthful of chewy gooey pepperoni pizza from my slice. "You have a funny way of showing it, Black."

"I did those drawing of what we could make our house look like," he pouted. "By the way, did you manage to take a look at them?"

I closed my eyes and sighed, trying to suppress a groan. "Not yet. I've been incredibly busy with school. Maybe tonight?"

I felt like the worst kind of human being when I noticed a flicker of hurt flash through Jake's brown eyes. I knew this house thing meant a lot to him so I could have at least feigned interest in this matter. "Yeah maybe," he sighed, turning his attention back to the game. "Let's just watch the game first." And in the world of Jake Black that was as much as a 'you're a bitch and a lousy girlfriend for not being interested in the future I'm trying to build for the two of us' as I was going to get.

I sighed, suddenly not hungry anymore as I realized once again how much Jake and I had grown apart over the years. We weren't even on the same page anymore….it was like we'd moved to completely different books in different genres.

"Fine," I breathed, wondering if it might not be better to end this, whatever it was that was left of us, right now while I still had a chance.

Not feeling particularly eager to sit out yet another sports match in the living room with the guys, I grabbed my laptop and retreated into the kitchen with my laptop as soon as I was done eating, extremely thankful for the wise, wise man who brought wireless internet to Forks since it meant I could get my article done and send to Rose in time for edits and revisions.

After the courtroom debacle, Tanya and I had come to a mutual decision that working together on a piece wasn't going to work (or rather: would have one of us end up maimed or killed) so instead of writing one big piece together, we'd chosen to go with two background pieces about the 'principle characters' in the case. Seeing as I was going to interview Alec, I would be focusing on Jane's side of the story, while Tanya and her newfound connection (barf) to Edward would tackle the Cullen point of view.

Opening my e-mail I was excited to see that Alec had come through with the pictures I'd bullied him into sending me and even more so when I saw he'd not just send me pictures of her posing, but also some family vacation pictures that gave me a much better picture of what she must have been like.

She looked like the kind of girl that would have made her parents proud, her long, dark brown hair and striking battleship grey eyes giving her a contemplative and intelligent look while her short posture and healthy blush made her seem young and full of life. This was especially ironic, given the circumstances of her death. She looked like a fun kind of person to be around though there was something in her eyes that I couldn't quite put my finger on, something mysterious…tragic even.

There was one picture that was particularly striking of the young, beautiful woman looking over her shoulder with her back turned towards the lens. She was wearing some red kind of summer dress and the way her hair was pulled over her shoulder revealed something that hadn't been exposed to date: a tattoo.

I was just studying the intricate V-shaped design at the base of her neck and wondering what it was about when Billy's voice sounded behind me, almost making me jump out of my seat with shock. "Is that the victim?"

"God! Billy!" I breathed. "Quit sneaking up on me like that! You're going to give me a heart attack one day!"

Billy chuckled, rolling his wheelchair in the direction of the fridge and taking out two fresh beers, silently offering one to me before screwing the cap of the other and taking a sip, his eyes dancing with mirth as they captured mine. "I'll tell Jake to go easy on the grease next time my chair develops a squeak."

"That would be much better!" I joked, freeing up some space for him to join me at the table.

Billy didn't speak as he glanced over the pictures I'd printed out, the many newspaper clippings I'd collected, the image on my laptop and the notes from my conversation with Alec, his face betraying the look of concentration of the former Seattle PD detective.

"See anything out of the ordinary?" I asked after a while.

"Hmm," he nodded, his eyes gliding to the computer screen and the picture of Jane looking over her shoulder again, his eyes narrowing as he studied it more closely. "That tattoo….."

"It's strange, isn't it?" I remarked, my finger tracing the outline of the tattoo on Jane's neck.

"It is," Billy confirmed, "but the thing is…..It's not the first time I've seen this tattoo, I think."

"What?" I gasped, almost dropping my beer as my eyes shot between the screen of my laptop and the man sitting next to me.

"I'm pretty sure I've seen it before," Billy went on, "or one just like it. It was in a case that took place a couple of years ago…..right before I got shot, I think."

I was still frantically trying to keep my heart from beating out of my chest. "A- case," I finally managed to stammer. "Y-You mean….."

Billy nodded. "A murder case."

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_**Can you guess what Jane's tattoo stands for and what kind of bearing it will have on her murder case? And what's the deal with Alec? Do we trust him? And how do you think Bella and Jake's talk wil go? I'd love to read your theories. **_

_**You can follow me on twitter (MissBaby25) for updates on my writing and tweasers for upcoming chapters. **_

_**As always: loved it? Hated it? Please let me know. **_


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. I am in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise, I just use their creations to have my wicked way with them. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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_**This story wouldn't be what it is without my wonderful beta, **_**The Real Teacher**_**, holding my hand and correcting my many errors. Thank you so much!**_

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**- 7 - **

_I was still frantically trying to keep my heart from beating out of my chest. "A case," I finally managed to stammer. "Y-You mean….." _

_Billy nodded. "A murder case." _

Of course Seth chose that moment to enter the kitchen in search of his next can of soda. "What's keeping you, uncle Billy?" he asked as he marched through the kitchen with a swagger that – according to him- made all the girls at Forks High swoon but to me looked like he hadn't completely outgrown his diaper-walk. "Jake is started to get grumpy because of the lack of beer."

"Boy's got two feet of his own. If he wants a drink he can come and get it," Billy grumbled before turning his attention back to me. "I can't be sure, though," he said, tapping his finger against the picture. "I just think it looks very familiar….I'll look through my old case-diaries when I get home and call you if I find something."

"Thanks!" I nodded as I watched him and Seth walk out, making a mental note to look for v-shaped tattoos on the internet as soon as I was done with my article.

This was starting to get more interesting by the minute.

Before I could throw myself into my new find, I had to finish my profile on Jane Foster first. The article wasn't by any means exciting or cutting edge, but for a first article in a series of reports about the murder case it did what it was supposed to be: provide the readers with all the information they needed about the victim and form a great base to depart from in my follow ups.

Seth came in to say goodnight right before I finished my first draft of the article, my mind far too absent to notice he had been up way beyond his usual bedtime until his footsteps were thundering up the stairs.

"That kid wouldn't know 'quiet' if it sat up and slapped him in the face," Jake's amused voice sounded from the doorway.

I chuckled. "Well, it doesn't exactly help that you two had hip amped up on _Red Bull_ and junk food all night. It would be a miracle if the boy gets any sleep at all tonight."

Jake shrugged. "It's Friday night. It's not like he's got school tomorrow."

"I know," I smiled, putting the final dot on the end of the last sentence of my article.

"You have time to talk now?" he asked, trying to peek over my shoulder at my open Word document. "What are you writing?"

"A profile on that murdered girl. You know? The one I talked to you about earlier?" I saved what I had, deciding it wasn't going to be any better than this, and closed the file. I'd do a final read through tomorrow before sending it to Rose for editing.

He nodded. "Dad told me you found something."

"It's still early days but yeah….Billy thought he recognized Jane's tattoo from a murder case he worked on back in Seattle," I explained. "It might give me a few interesting leads to follow up on." As far as the case went I'd told Jake only the basis stuff. Jake knew I'd dated a Cullen back in the day and he knew things had ended in a pretty nasty way (thanks to my dad's blabbing) but he didn't know 'my' Cullens and the ones under public scrutiny right now were one and the same. And I'd like to keep it at that.

"Just be careful, babe," Jake warned. "I don't want you to end up getting hurt."

_If only he knew how much Edward could still hurt me_. "I know," I shrugged. "So what did you want to talk to me about? You said something about plans for the house?"

Jake's face lit up like a Christmas tree, his hand reaching into the back pocket of his jeans to produced a pile of carelessly folded papers which, on closer inspection, turned out to be drawings for a house. "I know it's not much," he muttered, smoothing out the wrinkles in the paper, "but I figured it would make us a great starter home."

I nodded, my throat constricting as I looked at the cozy wooden house with the green shutters and white picket fence Jake had drawn up. To a lot of girls it would be their dream home but to me it was more like a prison. "It looks….nice."

Jake must have thought it was the design itself that I was having problems with because he immediately launched into a string of excuses. "I know, I know…It's small and it will need some adding to it when we start having babies but for now it will do us just fine, I think. There's even some space for you to use as an office." His finger moved over the page to a small box room overlooking the yard and the repair shop. "See?"

"That's great, Jake!" I said, mustering all the enthusiasm I could harness. "But don't you think it would be a bit noisy to write in there?"

The look on his face told me he hadn't exactly thought about that. "Hmm. You may be right. I just thought it would be practical for you…you know? When you're doing the paperwork for the shop?"

I nodded, trying to hide my frustration behind my hair. The fact that Jake expected me to give up a career in journalism to join him in his business was another sure subject between us. Apparently he seemed to think that as long as I was writing something it would keep me happy, the difference between writing bills and filling out order sheets and researching and writing an article for a newspaper obviously lost on him. "But what about my creative writing?" I tried. "I know the _Forks Gazette_ probably won't have any entry level vacancies open by the time I graduate, but I thought I might try my hand at writing a novel…."

"I think you're going to b a bit too busy for that, Bells," Jake chuckled. "I think you'll be needing a lot of time at first to readjust to life in Forks and plan the wedding and all of that shit and…."

"The wedding?" I interrupted him, the contraction in my throat turning into a downright suffocation at the thought.

"Yeah," he shrugged, looking at me like I'd gone completely out of my mind. "I just assumed we were going to get married next summer, before we moved in. Didn't you?"

And that was where the heart of our problem really lay.

Jake must have senses something was up when I never answered his question, his eyes studying me closely as his brows pulled up into a frown. "Bella?"

"It's just…" I tried to look for the right words to describe the panic I was feeling. "It's all a bit too….fast for me."

"Too fast?" Jake roared. "For God's sake, Bella! We've been going out for three years now. How fucking long do you want to wait before taking the next step?"

"Two years," I corrected him, "we've been dating for only two years, and I've been in Seattle for most of that time. Don't you think we should just try living together for a while before we even begin to talk about getting married?"

"What about this summer?" he challenged me. "Did you forget that we were living together for weeks without so much as a hitch? Seriously, Bella. Sometimes I begin to think you don't even want this!" His hand waved between us erratically as he panted for breath, the silence falling over us heavier than stone.

I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath to steel myself before opening them. "It's just that sometimes….I don't know if we really want the same things in life."

"What are you saying?" Jake growled. "Are you breaking up with me now?"

I sighed, knowing that this was it. "Maybe it's for the best if we just take a break….get some perspective and…."

"You've got to be fucking kidding me, Bella!" he interrupted me, his tone seething with rage. "After all we've been through and all the plans we've made for the future, you're telling me that you never really wanted to be with me?"

"It's not like that, Jake," I pleaded with him. "I don't want to just give up what we have together, it's just….sometimes I think….maybe we'd be better off being just friends?"

"I don't think you really know what you want," he barked. "And maybe you're right. Maybe you do need some time to find out what the hell it is that you do want…but I'm not sure if I want to wait around to see what that is."

I felt so small and rotten at that moment. Jacob was a good man and he didn't deserve this. He deserved to be with a girl who loved him right, not someone who merely tolerated him because she thought this was the best she was going to get. "I suppose you're right," I muttered.

Jake sighed and I could hear the rustling of his clothes as he no doubt raised his arm to drag it through his hair, a trademark he always showed when he was feeling powerless. "You're making a big mistake, Bella. What we have is beautiful and I know you're never going to get that with another guy ever again. I love you, goddammit, and I'm not about to give you up without a fight."

"Jake, please…." I pleaded, wanting him to understand that there was nothing to make this right again. But he wouldn't let me.

"You want space? You got it," he interrupted me. "I'll back off for a couple of weeks and leave you to sort your shit out. But this ain't over, Bella. The next time you're back in Forks we are going to sit down and talk about this and until that happens I still consider you my girl."

"Jake!" I begged, my words reaching nothing but the empty space around me as Jake stormed out of the house. A car door slammed seconds later, followed a couple of moments after by the much calmer closing of another door as Billy joined his son.

My tears fell freely as I watched them drive off. I knew I'd done the right thing in ending things with Jake – or at least put things between us to a standstill that didn't involve houses, weddings and babies - but if this was the right thing to do, then why did it make me feel so damn miserable?

Wanting to keep myself busy I decided to do all of the dishes by hand, figuring I might as well give the dishwasher a day off and check in on my stepmom who, on my last trip to her bedroom, had thrown a pillow at my head because I'd dared to express my concerns for her wellbeing, before I'd head over to the couch for a night of not sleeping and trying to pretend to be comfortable, (it was at times like these that I wished I hadn't kept my dad from adding another bedroom which would have been sitting empty for fifty-five out of sixty weeks in the year just so that I could have some comfort for my sleepovers).

And of course I had to fuck that up as well.

Sue was asleep when I got in, so I tried to tiptoe around the bed seeing if she had enough water and medicine to get her through the night. Of course I hadn't factored in the pillow which was still lying halfway across the room and, seeing as my careful walking also made my equilibrium particularly vulnerable, it ended with me colliding face first with the shag pile carpet that lined the floor.

"Bella?" a raspy voice croaked form over to my left.

Sue was awake. "God, I'm such a fuckup!" I groaned, my tears making a reappearance.

"Hey, honey," she rasped, her voice still thick with sleep. "Why are you crying?"

Her kind words only served to open the waterworks even more and before I knew it I was propped up in bed next to her, occupying the empty space usually filled by my dad and sobbing into her shoulder. "Did you and Jake break up?" she asked when I never answered her question. The wistful not in her voice didn't escape my notice.

"How do you know?" I managed to stammer in between sobs.

She chuckled, wincing slightly when her ribs protested against the movement. "I'm not as blind as the rest of the family, Bella. Jake, Seth and your dad may have been successfully fooling themselves into thinking your distant behavior was just caused by the stress of entering into your final year at college, but I know you've been a little less than enthusiastic about the whole Jake thing for some time now."

She sighed, carefully reaching out her hand to enclose mine. "You've done the right thing, Bella."

I smiled wryly. "Why am I not so sure about that now?"

"Do you love Jake?" Sue challenged, looking at me sternly.

"I do," I admitted. "At least….I think I do. I mean…we always have a great time when we're together. He takes great care of me and he…he wants to make me happy and….I just….I don't know…."

"What you're describing right now are the ingredients for the best of friendships, honey," Sue spoke, gently squeezing my hand, "not the best of romances."

"And here's me thinking friendship was the foundation of romance," I muttered.

"Love is to burn, to never want to be from the other's side and be whole unable and unwilling to envision a life without the other," Sue went on. "Tell me Bella, is that how you feel about Jake?"

I let out a deep sigh, stating my answer though we both knew it without the words being said. "No."

"Then you've done the right thing to put an end to this. I know you may not feel like this right now and God knows it will take even longer before Jake or your dad will see it too, but really, this was the best possible outcome form the start."

I looked up, my eyes faintly able to make out my stepmom's face in the dark. "What do you mean by that?"

"Just picture what would have happened if you would have gone on, trying to love Jake? You would have given up your life in Seattle to settle back here, married him and maybe even had children with him, but your heart would never have been completely in it. You both deserve better than that."

She sighed, her free hand playing with a few frays on the comforter. "Staying in a relationship when the love isn't there isn't fair on either party."

"I know," I sniffed, "but still….I _might_ have loved Jake."

"No Bella," Sue stated decidedly. "Let me tell you a little bit about myself…something I've never shared with another breathing soul."

I sat up, still holding her hand as I looked at her beautiful heart shaped face. "I was about fifteen when I met Harry and had just turned nineteen when I married him. He got along great with my dad and the rest of my family and everyone seemed convinced I was going to be very happy living with him. At the time I really did think I was in love with him but even then…."

She shook her head, a small bitter smile gracing her lips. "I sometimes wondered whether my feelings were real or if it was just that he was the first guy to notice me. Anyway…I was never so scared as in the weeks building up to my wedding. People around me seemed to think that it was just the wedding jitters rearing their ugly head, but on the eve before my wedding I was convinced that I was making the biggest mistake of my life. And I was right."

"What?" I gasped. This was something I'd never heard before. Sue always spoke so lovingly about her late husband and as far as Seth and Leah were concerned; their parents had always had a very happy marriage.

Sue chuckled, noticing my shock. "I was never unhappy with him – at least, not really. Harry was a very kind man who worked hard to provide for his family and was a good father to his children but when it came to me….the spark was never there. We were comfortable, a well-oiled machine but as time went on I started to realize that we were never more than friends."

Her gaze turned to me again. "Like Jacob and you."

I sighed and nodded. "But the two of you made it work."

"We did," she acknowledged, "but I could never stop wondering about the pieces in my life that were missing. Now that I have that….When I started out as an artist and met your father shortly after that I realized how much I had been selling myself short because I wanted to make everyone else happy And, by proxy, how much I had been selling Harry short by virtually lying to him for years."

She patted my hand, before cheerfully adding. "So Jake, and Seth and your dad too for that matter, may not understand your actions right now but I know it's the best thing you could have done for all parties involved. If you don't love Jake now, you never will. The heart can't be forced by sheer will alone."

"I know," I muttered, my eyes suddenly becoming too heavy to keep open for another minute.

"Here," Sue snickered, lifting the sheets for me to get under them.

"I can't," I spluttered. "That's dad's place."

"And he's pulling a night shift," Sue shrugged. "Seriously Bella, he won't even notice you've slept next to me and even if he did, it's not like he's going to mind or something. Besides….this is way more comfortable than the sofa."

And so I slept next to my stepmom that night, my dreams filled with Jake's pained face and all sorts of possible ways for my dad to voice his disappointment when he found out me and Jake were no longer together.

But at least I didn't have the sofa springs digging into my back like I normally did.

"Morning, pumpkin," my dad greeted me cheerfully when I stumbled into the kitchen, my body stiff from forcedly lying in the same position all night so that I wouldn't unwittingly hurt Sue and my brain still trying to find my bearings from behind the scraggly mess my hair had turned into.

I shot him a scathing glare, which only made him chuckle and push his steaming mug of coffee towards me. He knew me too well.

"It's quiet in here," I remarked as I watched my dad pour himself a fresh cup of coffee.

Dad snickered. "I know. With Sue out of the running for now, Seth off fishing with Jake and Billy and Leah and her scary friends of to do whatever it is that a bunch of gloomy teens do on their day off I might actually get some sleep his morning!"

"Not if you keep it up with the coffee, dad!" I laughed, a wave of sadness blowing in at the mention of Jacob.

"You're probably right," he replied, laughing sheepishly as he took a small sip of his drink. "So, when are you going to head back home? This morning?"

"Why?" I chuckled, folding my hands around my own cup while I commandeered the news section of the paper. "Are you that eager to get rid of me again?"

"Of course not!" he scowled. "I can't thank you enough for coming back to take care of Sue. I know you must have had a million things to do this weekend, driving a God awful distance back home probably not being one of them. I just wanted to know if we'd be saying goodbye now or if you'll still be there when I wake up."

I rolled my eyes at him. "Relax dad! I was only trying to get your goat a little!"

He narrowed his eyes at me but before he could say anything I continued. "And to answer your question: yes, I'll be going back as soon as I've finished breakfast. And just because I know you're going to ask: Jake checked Jerry yesterday and he figures that – provided the damned beast starts – it will get me back home just right."

Dad nodded. "He's a good guy for making sure you're safe but all the same, I wish you would let him replace that old thing. It's running on its last breath as it is."

"It's family," I scowled. "Do you hear me asking you to get rid of Seth or Leah?"

At that he hid his face behind the sports section of the paper again mumbling something that sounded like 'don't tempt me'.

"And because I know you're going to hear this sooner or later and I'd prefer if you heard it from me: Jake and I kind of aren't together right now."

I eyebrow shot all the way into his hairline as he looked at me, sadness and shock battling for dominance on his face. "Kind of?"

"We're on a break," I explained.

"And what the hell is that supposed to mean?" he grumbled. "I thought you were on your way to get married to the boy?"

I let out a huge sigh. "Not anymore, dad."

"What is this about?" dad growled, in full 'chief-of-police-mode' now. "Is this about _that boy_?"

"What?" I gasped, though it wasn't for lack of understanding. There was only one guy I knew who qualified for the _that boy_-label. To say my dad hated Edward Cullen's guts for what he did to me would be putting it lightly. "No! This isn't about the Cullens! This is about me and Jacob wanting completely different things out of life!"

"Last time I checked he wanted you and you wanted him," he replied gruffly.

I could feel a few traitor tears prickling though and wiped them away angrily. "Is that really so?" I challenged him. "Or is it merely what you wanted to see? I mean, you were the one pushing us together after all! Did you ever stop to see if this was what I really wanted when you completed your mission?"

My dad's fist came down onto the table with a loud bang, almost making my coffee spill over the edge of my cup. "Dammit, Bella! This isn't my fault!"

"Nor is it mine!" I yelled back. "I know you like Jacob, but as far as men go, he's just not the one for me."

"Well, I have no doubt in my mind that the two of you will end up back together again. You're too good a couple to just end things like this. Mind my words," he said, pointing at me as the lights in his eyes started to twinkle. "After all, you told me yourself that the two of you were just on a break." And with that he turned his attention back to his newspaper, seeming awfully pleased with himself.

The next few moments passed in uncomfortable silence with each of us sipping our coffee and reading our newspapers, the only sounds disturbing the peace being one of us slurping or taking a bite of toast (I never knew eating toast could make that much noise).

It was only when I folded the newspaper back into its natural crease, leaving half of an image of the Cullen family exposed that our little Eden got invaded by the real world again.

"I saw him, you know," I admitted as I noticed my father's glare when he spotted the picture, holding my breath for his reaction. What I didn't mention was how I ran off like a baby the moment I saw him and had spent most of my time holed up either at the offices of _The Daily_ or at home with my laptop ever since. Or how I'd been having nightmares about the day when we found my mom and his dad in a confusing situation or our final moments in the woods.

There was no need to enlighten my dad on how much of a coward I was.

Or enrage him even more but mentioning the dreaded C-word.

He surprised me by merely shrugging his shoulders and scratching his head before he muttered his reply. "Thought you might."

"You knew?" I asked incredulously.

"Bella!" he snorted, his own incredulity mixed with a slight hint of disappointment. "Who do you think told Jake not to watch the local news whenever you were around or leave any newspapers lying about this summer?"

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Had the two of them really trying to sneak around and keep secrets from me? What the hell? If they only knew how much of a fool I'd felt like when I had to be told by my (not so) esteemed colleagues at _The Daily_ what had happened over the summer. "You tried to hide it from me? What the hell did you hope to achieve by that?"

"Watch your mouth, baby girl. I only wanted to protect you," he scowled, not so happy now he found out that his fatherly concern was wasted on the one it was intended to protect. "Look, Bells. You may have experienced all of it firsthand, but you never had to see the EMT's carry your little girl out of the forest looking like she'd given up all hope of happiness."

"That was then," I muttered, still feeling like a fucking fool.

"Don't think you can fool me," he grumbled, his hand tightening into a fist. "Your mother and I might have ended our marriage, that didn't mean we just ceased contact altogether. She told me all about what happened in your life so don't you think you can fool me into believing that the minute you hit Californian soil everything was just magically alright again."

"Oh." This was so not where I wanted this conversation to go. If he knew all about the zombie-look I'd been sporting for months after mom and I had relocated to sunny California (which had also been the reason my mom had shipped me to 'self-discovery camp' by the way) he'd have enough ammunition to keep me from seeing boys altogether for the rest of my life.

"I don't want you to look the same way you looked back then again," he went on, "so I made sure you didn't pick up on anything about the case while you were here in the hope that by the time you got back everything would have blown over again and you'd start your final year of college in peace being none the wiser about the Cullens."

I couldn't help but smile a bit. "Things didn't exactly go according to plan, dad."

"Don't I know it!" he grumbled. "You've really gotta question the brains on those big town cops if they think the doc could ever kill a person. Hell, I couldn't even get him to shoot the damn rabbit that was wrecking his wife's garden!"

"I know," I nodded. "It's so completely weird but the evidence…it's all pointing towards him."

My dad studied me, reminding me once more of why he'd been made the chief of police. "You think something's up, don't you?"

"I don't know," I started, but the scoff on my dad's face made me change tactics. "Yeah, dad. I think something's up."

I shook my head, that same feeling of knowing something without having any actually evidence to substantiate your claim making its appearance again. "There's just something iffy about this case. The people in it…"

I sighed. "I talked to the victim's brother a few days back. He was very helpful and gave me everything I needed to know about his sister to get a pretty decent background article done…but there was something very off about him. He just sat there and….I don't know….talked. Sure, he was grieving for the loss of his sister and all, but there was something very creepy and calculating about him…just, I don't know….."

I shook my head, wishing I could put to words the unpleasantness I'd felt during that conversation. "…And I haven't even started about his brief. That guy was a first class creep if ever I saw one. I have a feeling he'd sell his own granny if he thought the old biddy would make a profit."

Dad nodded, motioning for me to go on.

"He sent me some pictures when we were done," I continued. "You know, to use for my article? Well, Billy came by when I was looking through them yesterday and when he noticed the strange tattoo the victim had on her neck he told me he'd seen one just like that on a murder victim a few years back when he was still in Seattle."

"Now that is a coincidence if ever I've seen one," dad breathed.

"I know," I nodded. "Billy didn't know the specifics about the case anymore but he promised to look through some of his old case diaries and let me know what he found…And then there was this phone call I overheard the victim's brother make earlier. I know it's not right to eavesdrop on other people's conversations and all, but I'm a journalist and he was in a very public place…."

Dad chuckled. "Go on, Bells. I'm not judging you."

"It was as if they were trying to make plans to infiltrate the defense team."

"Infiltrate?" dad snorted, the mocking look in his eyes telling me he was thinking I was taking this a little bit too far.

"Yes. Infiltrate," I snapped. "I overheard him talking about the chances they had on making Edward rat out on his dad."

"Are you sure about that, honey?" dad asked. "Because those are some allegations you have there…."

"I'm not," I sighed, "and that's why I'm not doing anything about it right now. It's just….ARGH!"

Charlie chuckled, patting my hand over the table. "I know that feeling all too well. I just want you to be careful, honey. A young woman was murdered and the killer might very well still be out there…"

"I know, dad," I sighed.

"And I know you," he went on. "You're like a pit-bull when you've bitten yourself into a story."

"I'll be careful, dad," I promised, even if he still didn't seem all too convinced. "Trust me."

"I trust you," he grumbled. "It's all those city folk I don't trust."

"Dad!" I groaned, not feeling like getting into this particular topic of conversation yet again. "I've been living in Seattle for a couple of years now and I have yet to meet any of the gang rapists or serial killers you're always going on about. I think it's safe to say that city life isn't as dangerous as you think it is."

"Or maybe I just taught you well," he replied with a smug smile, giving me the awkward one-armed hug he was famous for.

I let out a huge breath of air and I nodded into his shoulder before squaring my shoulders and stepping back, thereby ending deep-conversation-time-with-daddy. "I'd better get going…I mean, if I want to get back to the city in good time…."

"You'd better," dad grumbled. "I don't want you to drive around in that car-wreck-waiting-to-happen after nightfall."

"I've left everything you need in the fridge," I explained, "and Sue has everything she might need within reach. Just make sure she sleeps enough and doesn't get out of bed…."

"I know, sweetheart," he chuckled. "I'm supposed to be the parent here, remember?"

"I do…but," I started to argue.

"Now get that butt of yours in the car and drive safely back to town in time to start your final year of college properly," he commanded. "And don't worry. I think we have everything under control here."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "You think?"

That only made him take on his Chief-Charlie-Stance at me, his hands on his hip and his eyes narrowing in a way that made him seem a little bit like Clint Eastwood with a pornstache before the guy wrinkled up like an apple that's been left out in the sun for too long. "Yes. I think. Now scram!"

"Aye, aye, chief!" I saluted, before kissing him goodbye and getting into my car to leave Forks for the second time in two weeks.

The drive back was as relaxing as they could get when you had a car that made more noise than a snoring elephant and a suspension that was pretty much missing in action. Luckily for me the radio was the only thing about it still in tiptop condition.

I called my roommate Angela from the road to let her know I was going to be back in a few hours, but only got her voicemail. She was probably still in the air somewhere between small town Pennsylvania and Seattle or at home getting busy with her boyfriend, which was something I didn't really want to think about.

I was locked in an epic battle with my bag and the elevator door (why did they have to make those damned doors so that your bag always gets caught on it and you have to pull for dear life if you don't want your unmentionables to get caught in between the doors?) when I heard a door opening and closing behind me.

Thinking it might be Angela, on her way to get supplies for our evening, I called out for help. "Hey there, Angel face! Do you think you could give me a hand? The damned thing got stuck again!"

The bag got free of the doors just about the same time I heard a man clear his throat behind me, the distraction causing me to get thrown back and land on my ass a few feet away from the elevator doors.

"I…uhm…what are you doing here?" a familiar voice spoke and when I looked up I saw my worst nightmare come to life.

Edward Cullen with rumpled clothes and hair that screamed 'I've just had sex' coming from the one only other apartment on this floor.

Tanya's.

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_**Trust me please. This may not be what it looks like, as so many other things in this story. **_

_**Reviewers will receive a small teaser for the next chapter along with their review reply. It will reveal a bit more about what happened to make Edward end up at Tanya's place so if you prefer not to be spoiled, please let me know and I won't include it. If you do want to find out, you know what you have to do….**_

_**So, how do you think Bella is going to react to all this? What does Edward have to say for himself? Do you think Jacob will back off now that the two of them are on a break? Will Billy still help Bella now that they are?**_

_**Please review and let me know what you think. **_


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. I am in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise, I just use their creations to have my wicked way with them. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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_**This story wouldn't be what it is without my wonderful beta, **_**The Real Teacher**_**, holding my hand and correcting my many errors. Thank you so much!**_

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_**The response to the last chapter has completely overwhelmed me. It was sooo great to see my inbox slowly fill up with all your wonderful reviews. Thank you so much! **_

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**- 8 -**

The first thing that struck me as I opened my eyes was the light.

Which wasn't a good thing seeing as I was slap bang in the middle of a killer hangover.

It was also not a good thing since it since the abundance of light and white as opposed to the thick blinds and masculine browns of my bedroom at home made one thing else abundantly clear.

This wasn't my bedroom.

"What the hell happened?" My voice sounded all grainy as shit as I scrambled to sit up, the blinking numbers on the alarm clock next to my head telling me I'd lost a good four hours since I'd last checked my watch.

As I sat up, groaning as my head started to pound like someone was beating it with a jackhammer, all I knew was that whatever went down during those missing hours was a mistake.

A big fucking mistake. Especially when you took into account the fact that I was naked and that, judging by the light snore, somewhere buried deep down the pile of bed sheets and pillows beside me slept a yet to be named – and probably equally naked – female.

The figure sleeping next to me shifted, her breath stocking for a moment before evening out again as a flash of striking red hair and pale skin framing a doll-like face and two of the fakest boobs known to man.

"Fuck no!" I groaned, covering my face with my hands and rubbing furiously as my fuzzy brain finally connected the dots. Not that it did me any good though. When I dropped my hands and opened my eyes again, Tanya Denali was still sleeping next to me.

Not good.

My eyes were somehow glued to the snoring heap of woman, as I scratched my head trying to put enough order into my alcohol infused brain to answer the one question that had been pounding through my head even harder than my fucking hangover: _Did I have sex with that woman, Miss Denali?_

Considering the general theme of nakedness that was going on underneath the sheets and the battlefield of clothes thrown haphazardly around the room the answer should have been yes.

Should have been.

But it wasn't.

My suspicion that things hadn't exactly gone as planned (though I wasn't so sure that was a bad thing) were strengthened by the smell of unsatisfied lust hanging over us like a fucking ozone layer and the fact that my dick sure as hell didn't feel like it had seen any action lately.

I growled low in my chest as my killer hangover started to mix with the memories of what had gone down prior to me conking out on the bed, both of them mixing and mashing into the perfect cocktail of fail that would probably see me fired, publicly disgraced and entering into a long-lasting and exclusive relationship with my right hand.

I was screwed, and not in any kind of way a guy would like to be screwed.

Quite the contrary, in fact.

How the hell did that happen?

Both my head and the rest of my body protested vehemently as I pulled it into a sitting position, one thing completely and abundantly obvious: there had been alcohol.

Lots of it.

Which may have been my saving grace since it had kept me from making the worst mistake of my life.

At a very high cost though.

**- x -**

"Lagavulin, neat," I grumbled, sidling up to the bar while my eyes were still adjusting to the muted light of the high end bar. "Make it a double."

I threw back the whiskey as soon as the waiter put it in front of me, relishing in the burn as the amber liquid washed down my throat. "Keep 'em coming," I ordered, throwing a wad of cash on the table that would definitely see me through the next couple of rounds quite comfortably.

The barman nodded, pouring me another shot before distancing himself again.

Good man. He must have understood my need for numbness and oblivion.

Or maybe I was just like every other drunk fucker in the place.

Hell if I knew.

Hell if I cared.

All I knew was that I just wanted to forget these last few weeks had ever happened.

How great would it be if I could just wake up in my own bed in Boston, realize this was only the mother of all nightmares, jump into the shower, have a good spank session and be on my merry way while congratulating myself on all the things I'd accomplished?

Or even better: for Aston Kutcher and the damned camera crew to jump up from underneath the wooden bar right now and announce that I've been Punk'd.

I nursed my glass, watching the liquid swirl inside as my thoughts drifted back to the last couple of days and the clusterfuck of disastrous situations my life had turned into, before slamming my drink back in one fluid motion, the barman already standing by with the bottle to fill me up again.

Good man.

My restlessness and pent up frustration had only increased since I'd joined Garrett and Jasper on their quest to drag more information out of my dad. All through their meeting I'd stood there, near the door, unable to believe what I was hearing but being too damn nosy to just say 'fuck this' and walk away. I couldn't believe my dad was keeping secrets from his lawyers. Anyone who'd ever so much as watched a single episode of _Law & Order_ knew that that was not a thing you should be doing if you wanted to start convincing people of the fact that you were innocent.

And convincing your lawyers might be a good place to start.

Not that it would make Garrett any less inclined to work his ass off to get my dad released, it just increased the chance of the lot of us looking like a bunch of idiots in court in case the DA did find out what it was that my dad seemed so hell bend on hiding from the world.

Plus, it made him look guilty as sin.

Which was why the hours I'd spent at home since spending some quality jail time with dad, could have been counted on the fingers of one hand.

From a distance it had been so fucking easy to turn him into the monster I'd believed he was. He was after all the man I'd overheard talking to the woman he was cheating on mom with in clear daylight, only being concerned with his sordid second life seeping into the lie he tried to pass off as his happy little family. He'd been the guy staring back at me in a lot of the pictures I'd found later that day, tucked far into the darkest corner of a desk drawer.

Him…and _her_.

I groaned, kicking back another shot of whiskey, whishing I was still able to hate him like I had in Boston.

But I wasn't.

Not since I'd seen the look on his face when he had been sitting a few feet away from me in King County jail, wearing the orange overalls of a prison inmate. Suddenly the monster had turned into dad again, making it impossible for me to hate him.

He was, after all, the man who'd snuck me out of the house to get ice cream on a hot day even though mom said I couldn't have any.

He was the man who spent his rare days off from the hospital teaching his very impatient offspring how to fish and – most importantly – wait for an actually fish to get caught on the hook before reeling in the line.

And he was the man who sat next to me, holding my hand and telling funny stories from his own childhood, when they took me in to get my tonsils removed.

I couldn't hate that man, no matter how much I wanted to.

I'd come back home that day to find my mom still elated with the fact that dad was going to be getting home soon and planning all sorts of things to keep him happy and entertained throughout his house arrest. She'd been more cheerful and happy than I'd seen or heard her in years, humming along to the tunes of _The Magic Flute_ pouring from the sound system.

I think part of her – the optimistic part – saw this whole ordeal as a golden opportunity for her and dad to get closer together again. Over the years she and dad had grown further and further apart. It had started even before I caught him and Renee Swan being all touchy feely in our home, but I think that the aftermath of what happened then was what killed them. There was a strain between them that hadn't been there before, a tightness in mom's voice when she spoke to him, apology in my dad's eyes when he answered.

And then there were the arguments.

They'd started sleeping in separate bedrooms as soon as we moved to Woodway before, shortly after that, my dad disappeared to his downtown born-again bachelor pad altogether. It was as if they were living separate lives, only coming together for holidays and other family celebrations.

Mom and dad, who'd been so disgustingly in love throughout most of my childhood now only stayed together for the sake of appearances.

My mom's optimism may not have been completely misplaced since, with my dad literally locked up and having no other point but to stay at home, he couldn't keep ignoring her even if he wanted to. They'd have to talk and get through whatever it was that was keeping them apart sooner or later.

The thing was, though, that I wasn't completely sure whether that would be a good thing With all things pointing towards my dad doing some serious time unless he got that stick out of his ass and started talking, my mom would be better off if she and dad would still be their own, cold and distant, sexless selves.

To get my dad back only to lose him again would kill her, which was something I wasn't going to stand by and let happen.

Nope, the task would fall upon me to sit her down and tell her all about my dad's sordid little secrets and – if my mom still continued to be all forgiving and compassionate – cockblock them as far apart as they could while not breaking the conditions of my dad's parole.

Which was also going to break her heart.

So I buried myself in my work, taking the opportunity to prove myself to the likes of Jasper Whitlock and all the other skeptics running around the office with both hands since it meant n that I had a solid excuse to spend my Sunday at the office instead of at home.

I was a coward.

Fortunately for me the end of summer recess had students starting to pour back into the town, meaning there were minor cases in abundance. Away from the controlling eyes of the parental units, many of the new students started to experiment with booze, sex and drugs and saw themselves arrested and locked up with the rest of the unfortunate few in a holding pen before their evening of debauchery could get properly licentious .

The small cases were very good in helping me find my bearings around the firm and the local judicial infrastructure while they had the added bonus that the distraction they brought took up most of my free time, or it had, until a good half hour ago when all work had been done and there was nothing left for me but to drown my sorrows alone while I wallowed in self-pity at the little bar across the street.

It was that or go home and face my mom.

"Edward Cullen?" a female voice sang beside me, just as I was gearing up on another round of liquid courage. "It's you, isn't it? Fancy meeting you here!"

I frowned recognizing the voice but not knowing exactly from where and being too lazy and inebriated to look to the side and match a face to the voice.

"When you didn't show up for our interview yesterday I was afraid something terrible had happened," she went on, her words solving the puzzle all on their own.

She was that girl who'd been with Bella the other day. The whorish looking one. I couldn't quite remember her name but I knew it was something distinctively European prostitute-like. Irina or Katya or Tanya or something….. Yeah, _Tanya_. That was it.

"Do you mind?" Tanya asked, motioning at the empty bar stool next to me.

My voice of reason slurred something about running while I had the chance but the less reasonable part of me jumped at the chance to escape responsibility for another few hours. "Be my guest," I shrugged, waving the barman over so that he could take her order.

She ordered a Dirty Martini, her fingers playing seductively with the edge of her glass as she covertly watched me from the corner of her eye. This was all a game to her; the people in her life nothing more than pawns for her to move as she pleased or sacrifice of she grew tired of them.

I inwardly cursed, suddenly wishing I'd ran when I had the chance. I could have told her some excuse about how I was meeting someone or something…anything to get the hell out of dodge. Being as it was I knew I ran the risk of losing more than I bargained for.

My job being the first stake in the game.

"So," she finally cast her opening move. "Do you come here a lot? Or did you run into some kind of snag at work?"

I chuckled at her barely veiled attempt to immediately steer the conversation in the direction of my father's case. It was in her eagerness that she revealed her inexperience. "I'm merely having a drink after being stuck in the office all day."

"Hmm," she mused, eying my empty glass before giving my no doubt glassy-eyed appearance a good once over drawing her own silent conclusions as to my reasons for being here. "It's just that I've never seen you here before."

"I'm a new addition to the firm," I shrugged.

She smiled a radiant, cat-like smile. "I knew that, actually," she answered proudly. "You used to work at some big firm in Boston. What was it called again?"

"Young and LaFayette," I muttered, wondering if she had yet another tactic up her sleeve when she found out that in this case flattery would get her nowhere. "You've done your homework."

"I always do," she chuckled, folding her glossed-to-hell lips around the olive before sliding it off the stick before leaning in to whisper the second half of her reply. "That's why I'm so _good_ at what I do."

The low purr of her voice as well as the double meaning of her words were not lost on my dick, the poor neglected part of my anatomy sitting up and taking notice in my pants as my body started to take in all sorts of things about Tanya it hadn't registered before, like the way she smelled, the size of her breasts or how those lips would looked wrapped around my erection.

Not good.

I cleared my throat in the hopes it would kick the rational part of my brain back into action as I sat back a little, trying to steer the conversation back into safe waters. "Your friend….she's not with you tonight?" I squeaked as I picked up another full glass of whiskey.

"My friend?" she asked, leering at me from the corners of her eyes.

Even in my current state I knew that mentioning Bella's name would be unwise if I wanted her to tell me more about my former love interest so I kept it as vague as I could. "You know? The one who was with you the other day in court?"

The self-satisfied smile was back in full force as she inched closer again, shaking her head in reply. "Bella and I both chose the side we wanted to represent in this case. She was more interested in the victim's side while I….."

As her voice trailed off, all fuses blew inside my head. I'd have thought the Swan girl capable of many things but this…

Which was where all logical thought left the building.

**- x -**

"Urg!" the pile next to me groaned in a faintly familiar voice, a slender white hand sliding over the sheets only to come to a screeching halt when it reached my hip.

"God, are you still here?" the woman screeched as she jumped out of the bed, naked but for a black thong which did very little in the way of covering her up.

"You have a nerve, sticking around after what just happened!" she went on, her eyes shooting daggers at me though she made no effort to cover herself up. "Get the fuck out of here. _Now_!"

My ears were ringing from the overload of sound and I made a move to cover them with my hands as my brain desperately scrambled to keep up with what had just happened. "Huh?" I was still trying to catch up with what happened and, though I knew for sure that we didn't have sex, my little problem hardly warranted such a harsh reaction.

Or did it?

"Get out! Get out! Get out!" As if screaming wasn't enough the mad virago now started throwing pillows, sheets and everything else she could reach in my direction.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" I yelled after I'd barely managed to evade an alarm clock thrown at my head.

"What is wrong with me?" Tanya seethed, the fake boobs rising and falling with the force of her anger as her eyes nearly budged out of their sockets. "_First_ you come up here with me, acting like you're all fucking horny but you can't get a boner to save your life, no matter what I do or try while you can't even be bothered to lay a hand on me. And _then_, to top it all off, you fall asleep on _my_ fucking bed while you go on and on about how pretty Bella fucking Swan's eyes are!"

Judging by the way those fake claws of hers were inching closer every second it was time to get the hell out of this apartment before her fake whore-red nails would come anywhere near my poor, malfunctioning junk.

I contemplated my own stupidity as I made my mad dash around the room, looking for items of clothing that seemed manly enough to have belonged to me since my mind was still way too scrambled to remember what I'd been wearing.

Wow. That must have been one helluva bottle of whiskey I drowned.

As I stumbled through the room, trying to evade the stuff Tanya was still throwing at my head when she wasn't too busy hurling insults at it, I was seriously starting to wonder if Tanya hadn't drugged me in order to get what she wanted (whether it was a good fuck or a front page story I wasn't quite sure as of yet). Not that I could drink like a rock star but I wasn't exactly a lightweight either.

And I had never – ever – failed to get an erection.

Not once.

Usually I just had to think about a nice pair of tits to get hard and, though Tanya's were fake and way disproportionate, they were more than able to do the trick.

Just how many shots had I had?

Something told me that Tanya had tried and tested this tactic – sidling up to drunk lawyers and other downtown professionals to fuck them into delivering a scoop – before and, though she'd failed to get anything out of me, this would most probably not be the last time she did it. Maybe that was why I couldn't get a boner because as far as I was concerned, promiscuity was so not a good look on a woman.

I managed to get dressed somehow between all the screaming and the pounding headache and, as I hopped on one foot to force my other into a shoe, I tried to get out of the apartment and into the safety of the hallway as fast as possible.

Safe.

As the door slammed shut behind me, my vision was greeted by the strangest thing I'd seen in a while: a woman locked in epic battle with an elevator.

She growled, her ass – and a mighty fine one, though maybe a bit on the small side, it was – sticking out as she pulled at something that had gotten caught on the door.

"Hey there, Angelface! Do you think you could give me a hand? The damned thing got stuck…." she called out in a voice that was pure sex in all its soft and husky glory. "…_yet again_!"

Just a I moved to give her a hand, the bag – I could see that it was a bag now – shot free from the doors with a force that made her end up on her ass in a huge mess of long, chocolate brown hair and clothing that was borderline eccentric.

"Ugh!" she groaned, brushing her hair out of her face as she started to scramble to her feet again.

Which was when I finally recognized her.

Bella Swan.

Sitting on the floor right in front of me, waiting for me to say something.

She was as pretty as I remembered from when I met her in court, but what I'd missed that day was her scent. It was delicious in all its fruity, fresh and feminine glory and it made my dick impossibly hard as I looked at her like a dog eying a bone.

Yes.

We were back.

And in full force, I might add.

There was a lot I wanted to say to her. My plan to apologize and beg for forgiveness had sustained some serious damage after my discussion with Tanya earlier today but somehow, considering what that same Tanya had told me later on about Bella's rather mercurial temperament, I suspected that yelling at her wouldn't be the way to go.

Being nice it was.

Figuring that asking for clarification was as good a start as any, I forced my mouth to speak.

"I…uhm…what are you doing here?"

Bella looked up as I verbally slapped myself for mumbling away like a complete fucking idiot, her huge brownie colored eyes betraying the emotions like an open book. She looked up at me in absolute shock, her mouth opening and closing a few time before it uttered something that I was sure, wasn't meant to be heard. "Great. This is all just great."

At least the word-vomit thing hadn't changed over the years.

"What is?" I asked, noticing that even in spite of my effort to be nice her face was still clouding into a darkness that heralded a thunder storm.

She looked at me like I was a complete idiot, though I couldn't really blame her given the way I looked and the complete lack of eloquence I'd shown so far. "Oh come on! I doubt you wouldn't have waited for five more minutes to do the walk of shame if you'd have known you'd have an audience!"

"True," I shrugged, buttoning up my shirt a bit better in the hope that it would distract her from the direction our conversation was heading. "You still didn't answer my question though."

She frowned. "Huh?"

"I asked you what you were doing here."

There was something about my innocent question that must have been completely fucking offensive to her because, just like that, the atmosphere in the hallway shifted from borderline relaxed to tense and hostile as she glared at me, her hands crossing in front of the small yet beautiful curves of her chest. "I live here," she sneered. "I doubt you have as good an excuse as I do."

Okaaaay. So much for being nice.

It was clear that, though the years may have been kind to Bella, they'd done nothing whatsoever to her personality. It still had the appeal of a rabid dog barring its teeth.

"I had an interview with Tanya," I growled back, assuming an equally confident pose while still noticing how we were standing incredibly close together, she almost leaning against the wall and me standing right in front of her.

She arched an eyebrow. "Is that what they call it these days?" she jested. "Must have been an extra _in-depth_ one."

For some reason having her allude to my recent brush in with stupidity infuriated me, my blood coming to a boil as I watched a smug grin appear on her face. "What the hell, Bella?" I snarled. "What I do in my own time is none of your damned business! I could be fucking half of downtown Seattle and still you don't get to talk down to me like that!"

"What? Because out of the two of us _I'm _the big whore?" she retorted sarcastically. "It seems to me that for someone so eager and willing to condemn my mother – and your father, I might add – for something they may or may not have done, you've been a tad sloppy when it comes to upholding your own precious standards."

She was fuming, her chest heaving as she blazed at me with naked hate. _God, she was beautiful when she was angry._

I was only just trying to get a grip on the horny side of myself when she started belting out another round of insults, the tone of her voice cold enough to just about make any guy's balls retreat back into his body for safety. "But if your precious reputation is still such a big deal to you then sure…I'll apologize. I was just trying to point out to you that sleeping with the first big old ho-bag that comes along might not be a very good idea given the situation you're in but hey….You made it perfectly clear a long time ago that you don't give a rats ass about me or my opinions. So silly me for caring!"

"Oh yeah, you care very goddamn much!" I yelled, my hands tightening into fists as I remembered what Tanya had told me. "In fact, you care so much that you chose to be against me and my family in my dad's fucking trial!"

"What?" she gasped. She looked genuinely upset, which was something I couldn't really understand. "I didn't…."

I shook my head in disbelief. Choosing the wrong side may have been one thing (stupid being the word that sprang to mind) but having the nerve to actually deny it?

This shit was unbelievable.

"Don't even bother to deny it," I snarled, remembering more and more of what Tanya had told me about how the tasks between the two of them were divided. "I know we have some history between us but I expected you to at least know where your loyalties lie."

I shook my head. I still couldn't believe Bella thought my dad was guilty. Part of me knew I was being awfully hypocritical, blaming her for something I was equally guilty of, but still…..

_She_ should have believed in him.

_She_, who'd kept on defending his innocence ten years ago and wouldn't believe our parents were having a sordid fuckfest behind our backs, even if the evidence was staring us in the face.

And apparently her mind was running along the same path as mine.

"Wait a minute…Are you questioning my fucking _loyalty_?" she sneered, an incredulous snort escaping from her throat as she squared her shoulders again and took on a confident stance. "I remember a time when – out of the two of us – you were the one who was going on and one about how much of a despicable bastard your dad was when I was all too willing to give him the benefit of the fucking doubt!"

She didn't even give me the change to get my own two cents in. Nope, she just kept going on, the passion flushing in her eyes as she continued her attack on me. "Hmm," she fake-pondered, tapping her finger against her lips. _Her ridiculously plump, deep raspberry lips._ "When was that again? Oh yes. It was right before you DUMPED me and left me to rot! I think _that_ was when you lost your right to question _my_ loyalty."

There was something about the way she looked, her breath still panting with rage, her eyes shooting hot bolts of fire at me and her cheeks flushed from waging war, that stirred something deep inside of me that had laid dormant for God only knew how long.

She had always been a worthy adversary.

Even when we were kids, there had always been this strange sort of electricity between us; and electric force that could either make us yell at each other in blind hate or suck us into a passion as strong as passion could be between two kids who hardly even knew what to do with it, the two sides of passion more often than not following close on each other's heels.

Hate and love.

Love and Hate.

And part of it was still there.

Or so it seemed.

I knew I should have backed the hell off. I knew Bella which was why I knew that she was never above landing a well-aimed face-punch on a guy when she was riled up enough to do so (which she seemed very much to be right now) but whether it was stupidity or something else, my body seemed to be wanting to do the exact opposite from retreating out of reach.

"What the hell was I supposed to do, Bella?" I fumed. "You saw what I saw and I saw a hell of a lot more!"

I cringed inwardly as the memory of finding those revolting pictures of her mom having a whole gang of guys all up in her business, one of them being my dad, crashed back into my mind. "What the hell was I supposed to do? Smile and act like nothing had fucking happened? Be nice to your mom knowing that she was fucking my dad and had been doing so for God knows how long?"

I felt the sting even before I realized the crazy bitched had slapped me, my hand rubbing at the sting as she shrieked her reply at me. "We were supposed to get through all of that _together_!"

I took a small step back, reminding myself of the fact that I was strictly against using violence against women. "And what the hell was I supposed to tell my mom, huh?" I challenged her. "How was I even supposed to face her, knowing what was going on behind her back?"

She narrowed her eyes at me as she spat out her reply. "Did you, Edward? Did you ever tell your mom about what we saw that day?"

She had me there and she knew it. I never had the guts to cause my mom – kind, loving Esme – any grief or even confront my dad and force him to put a stop to all of his disgusting philandering ways. So I'd done what most fifteen year old boys who struggled with a problem and lacked the cojones to do anything about it did.

I gave it the cold shoulder, acted all passive aggressive and generally tried to ignore the fuck out of it.

Knowing she had me by the balls, a smug, infuriating little smile appearing on Bella's lips as she continued, twisting the knife in just a little more. "Because I did, Edward, and I found out there was all just a perfectly logical explanation for it."

I snorted, leaning over her as I spoke. "Yeah. Your mom is a whore. It's not like I didn't know that already."

"My mother is not a whore, Edward," she glowered, her eyes shooting around nervously as if she were looking for a way out of this mess though her words when she spoke again had lost none of their conviction and anger. "There's nothing you can tell me to convince me otherwise."

"Don't tempt me," I chuckled darkly, the buzzing attraction between us still forcing us closer together.

"Believe me," she snorted, the gust of sweet air she emitted blowing over my face with an unwelcome yet not unpleasant force. "I have no desire to _tempt_ you. In fact, I'd rather make out with a tarantula."

"Fuck you!" I snarled, wanting nothing more than to put a good amount of distance between the two of us but somehow finding myself unable to do so.

She simply arched her eyebrow sarcastically, the heat of her body so close to mine fuelling the explosive air that hung around us even more. "You have Tanya to do that. Remember?"

I growled, the rumble low and powerful in my chest. I really hated her in that moment. She was insane and completely infuriating and _oh my God I was gearing up to kiss her full fucking pouty lips._

Before I knew what I was doing my fingers had reached out to touch her, the feeling as the tips of my fingers hovered over the soft skin of her cheeks buzzing through my veins, causing a sensory overloud and making me forget I hated her annoying little guts.

It must have been the same for Bella because as we continued to be caught up in whatever the hell was going on, her hand let go of her bag, making it drop to the floor with a loud thud that made the bubble burst and both of us to snap out of it with a violent force.

"Fucking hell!" I cursed, jumping backwards to put a safe distance between the two of us, my whole body still buzzing with electricity as I rubbed my hand on my pants.

_What the hell did I just almost do?_

Bella's hand flew to her cheek about the same time, rubbing it furiously as if she'd been pelted with manure or something. "Don't touch me!" she shrieked, completely abhorred.

For a while we just stood there, gasping for air as we looked at each other as we tried to figure out what the hell was going on. Before we got there, however, a door opened, revealing a very intrigued Tanya clad in nothing but a white bed sheet that was draped loosely around her perfect figure.

And just like that the fuse ignited and blew up in our faces, the tension shifting from erotic to hostile again as soon as Tanya entered the fray.

My face must have mirrored Bella's confusion as she walked up to me, her anger forgotten as she started to act all flirty and seductive as if she was staking her claim over me.

What the hell?

Did she have a multi-personality disorder I didn't know about? What the fuck happened to throwing shit at my head?

"Hello Bella," she purred, sidling up beside me. "I see you've met Edward." She put a hand on my chest as if to mark her territory even further than her unkempt hair and general state of nakedness already did. It infuriated me but as I watched Bella's reaction – her eyes narrowing and her whole frame seeming to tremble with rage – I couldn't help but feel some satisfaction.

"And _I_ see that meeting him wasn't the only pleasure you had," Bella replied disdainfully. "Tell me, does Rose approve of your tactics?"

Tanya chuckled, the sheet almost revealing her naked tits as she dropped the sheet a few inches. "What Rose doesn't know, won't hurt her. How was your meeting with Alec?"

"Insightful," Bella shrugged, still scowling at the two of us. "It's amazing how much you can learn about a person while still keeping your clothes on."

"Drop it, Bella," I warned.

"Or what?" she challenged. "You're going to slap me with your magic peen? If I were you I'd have it checked for STD's real soon. You look like you're smart enough to have used a condom but you never know. That one," she pointed her finger at Tanya, "has seen more dick than a stadium urinal."

Tanya flew forward faster than a speeding bullet, apparently not caring about covering up her modesty (if indeed she had any) anymore as she pounced on her neighbor. "Bitch!"

True to form, Bella gave as good as she got, kicking and grabbing at Tanya just as hard as Tanya was kicking and grabbing at her.

I was just debating whether or not intervention would be the right thing to do when the elevator doors dinged barely audible above the sounds of 'epic bitch fight' before sliding apart and revealing a young couple and a bunch of suitcases.

They took one look at the fight and sighed, none of them appearing to be too impressed by it or the fact that one of the partakers in it was naked.

"Oh, great!" the girl sighed, rolling her eyes at the jumble of pissed of woman in front of them. "They're fighting already and the academic year hasn't even started."

"You'd better step in before one of the neighbors calls the cops, Ben." She nudged her boyfriend in the ribs as she looked at the journalist death match in front of her, Bella now clearly gaining the upper hand as she straddled Tanya's waist and tried to lock the naked girl's hands above her head.

_Tanya may have been able to fight dirty, she was still no match for the police's chief's daughter. _

The boyfriend eyed me curiously but there was nothing but good nature in his voice when he spoke to me. "Wanna give me a hand in tearing those two apart or should I break out the popcorn?"

I chuckled apologetically before stepping in and plucking Bella off Tanya before she successfully managed to throttle the girl to death. "Easy there, Bells," I hushed as she struggled against my hold. "She's not worth going to prison for."

To say that Bella was happy about my interference would be the understatement of the year. I had to take care not to get kicked in the jewels as she tried to wriggle out of my grasp, hissing all kinds of insults while keeping her eyes on her enemy.

While I slowly backed away I tried to covertly assess the damage. Bella seemed to be fine, much to my relief, the damage done by Tanya's scary nails limited to a few tiny scratch marks along her cheek and a tear in the oversized sweatshirt she'd been wearing. But that one looked like it was running on its last leg anyway.

The same could not be said about her adversary, though.

"Let go of me!" Tanya screeched, her lip all bloody and her left cheek showing the beginnings of a big angry bruise from Bella's successful attempt at hurting her as the boyfriend – Ben – helped her back on her feet, her eyes glaring daggers at Bella. "I could have taken the damn bitch down."

Bella let out a low snort, her efforts to break free doubling in ferocity. "I would have liked to see you try," Bella's voice sneered, making Tanya, in turn, tug at Bens restraining arms so hard that I had trouble holding onto her.

When her efforts to get another go at Bella remained unsuccessful she gave up, gathering her senses as well as her sheet before storming into her apartment and slamming the door behind her.

Apparently she was back to being an all around bitch instead of a raging nymphomaniac.

Meanwhile Ben had taken over from me as Bella's temporary detainer, her arm wrapped around her as he steered her towards the door opposite from Tanya's. "Easy there, tiger kitten! You don't want Charlie to have to bail you out, do ya?"

The girl smiled apologetically at me as she picked up Bella's bag while her boyfriend manhandled Bella into the apartment. "They don't really get along," she muttered as she dragged their two suitcases as well as Bella's bag into the apartment and closed the door.

No shit.

As I stood there in an empty hallway the reality of the situation I found myself in suddenly started to crash down upon me.

I'd been a complete and utter asshole.

My dad was in prison and instead of helping him get out by being a model citizen and working my ass off as a lawyer to find out what exactly happened that night, I'd done the one thing I shouldn't have: compromise his case.

If word got out about my extracurricular activities with the college press – even thought nothing had happened – not only would Tanya's colleagues have a field day, I'd run the risk of losing everything I'd worked towards for the last seven years of my life as well. _Jasper Whitlock would be so happy. _

I groaned, getting into the elevator and hightailing it out of the building as fast as my poor, inebriated mind could muster. Looking back on this day there was only one conclusion possible.

I was completely and utterly fucked.

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_**Police chief's daughter 1 Vapid whore 0 **_

_**I know that some of you won't like the fact that Edward almost had sex with Tanya but believe me, it was the wakeup call our boy needed to get his ass in gear and grow into a man. It is also the turning point for Edward and Bella, unlikely though it may seem. From here on out things will slowly start to get better for the two of them. As you could see in this chapter, the attraction is still there...**_

_**So what did you think? Do you think Tanya will walk away now? Will she forgive Edward or will she hang him out to dry? Will Jasper find out? Or Esme? And what will Bella do now that she and Edward have crossed swords again?**_

_**Please review and you will get a teaser for next week's chapter along with your review reply.**_


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. I am in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise, I just use their creations to have my wicked way with them. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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_**This story wouldn't be what it is without my wonderful beta, **_**The Real Teacher**_**, holding my hand and correcting my many errors. Thank you so much!**_

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_**I'd also like to thank everyone who for reading and reviewing. I love reading all of your wonderful words and guesses about what happened. **_

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**- 9 -**

"You can let go now," I grumbled as I watched poor Angela drag her and Ben's luggage into the apartment from the 'safety' of Ben's hold, wondering the hell the boy could be so strong when he spent at least twenty hours of the day sitting in front of a computer. "I think your girlfriend might need some assistance."

She winked at me as she slammed the door shut, hiding Edward in all of his confused post-coital glory from view. For a moment I wondered where he was going to go, now that he wouldn't stand a chance of getting back into Tanya's good graces as well as her bed, but then I remembered that I couldn't care less.

As far as I was concerned Slutward could go to hell.

He _and_ T-whore.

"Are you sure you're not going to run after Tanya or Pretty Boy as soon as I let you go?" Ben questioned. "I mean, I can't speak for Angela, but I'd rather not have you end up landing that pretty little ass of yours in jail."

"Pretty little ass?" I snorted, trying to wriggle my way out of his hold. "What the fuck? Angela? Are you going to let him get away with that?"

"Of course I am," Angela shrugged, stretching her frame back into shape after she dropped all of the bags near the door. "Ben knows my ass is prettier than yours. And even if he doesn't: he sure as hell knows what's best for him!"

She chuckled as Ben, who was a shy and quiet guy who stuck out like a sore thumb between Angela and me, probably turned a whole new shade of pink behind me. "Anyway…" she continued. "You looked like you were ready to go in for the kill out there and it's not like I'm about to let get yourself arrested. It's going to be a hell of a job to find a new roommate who'll go along with the whole Ben-is-short-for-Bernice scheme. I'd rather focus my energy on graduating this year."

Angela's words actually succeeded in making me smile again, my laughter setting of a round of Angela's girlish giggles. "They still think that?" I gasped, as Ben, who was probably afraid I'd die from asphyxiation or something, finally let go of me. He kept on lingering near the door as if he actually had the strength to hold me back, though. _Silly boy._

Angela shrugged. "It's not like I'm too eager to enlighten them."

Angela's father, the reverend Stephen Weber, had gotten the shock of his life when his little girl had one day announced that after graduation, she was going to say goodbye to the all-girl, orthodox religious education she'd been following up until that day to experience the joys of a coeducational college as far away from home as she could get.

To this day everyone around him was still marveling at the fact that Angela's news hadn't caused her father to drop dead from a heart attack.

It had been hard enough to convince the reverend that the campus of the University of Washington wasn't some kind of unholy mixture of Sodom and Gomorra as it was. Especially during her first year, her father had more than once threatened to fly in and evacuate his daughter from the likes of her orgy-loving, drug using and tattoo-sporting fellow students. There was no need to add more fuel to the fire.

Especially not of said fire was the live-in, virginity stealing boyfriend of the precious reverend's offspring.

So, as far as her family knew Ben was short for Bernice and Ben had had to learn to live with the fact that he was forbidden to open the door or answer the phone, which probably suited him fine because I suspected that he wasn't too fond of talking to strangers anyway.

"And you're still okay with all of this?" I asked Ben, arching my eyebrow as I gestured between the two of them.

He shrugged. "I'm not going to complain as long as it gets me the girl."

I shook my head. "And that, my boy, is why you and I could never be in a relationship together. You're too easy!"

Angela snorted. "And that's bad because…."

"A girl like me would only take advantage of a guy like Ben," I shrugged, trying to ignore the annoying little voice inside that said that that was just what I had made my relationship with Jacob turn sour. "Give me a guy I can fight with and everything will be just fine. Give me a minion, though, and I'll work the poor guy to the bone."

Angela nodded, the evil sparks in her eyes telling me that she was definitely up to no good. "And uncommonly sexy guy in the hallway would fall into….."

"The category of guys I wouldn't touch with a bargepole," I interrupted her. "But if you really want to know: he's definitely someone I could pick a fight with. In fact…he's the kind of guy I wouldn't mind beating into a pulp."

"Who was he anyway?" Angela frowned, nodding her head towards the now empty – or so I hoped – hallway. "Something tells me that wasn't just a random piece of pretty."

I sighed, knowing that telling Angela would be the start of a torrential downpour of questions but also knowing that a vague answer would only make her try harder to weasel the truth out of me anyway. "Edward," I finally muttered.

Angela's eyes almost budged out of her head as her head whipped towards the door. "You're shitting me! That was…." she gasped.

"Do I look like I'm in a mood to crack jokes?" I grumbled, still rubbing my sore arms from where Ben and Edward had restrained me. "It was him."

Angela continued to gawk at me, her mouth opening and closing a few times without any sound coming out of it before her brains finally managed to make contact with the rest of her body again. "Holy fuck," she muttered, sagging down on top of one of the large suitcases she'd just dragged into the house.

"Yeah," I sighed, rolling my eyes at her. "That's what I said."

Ben finally decided that being the only one who was out of the loop wasn't as fun as it was cracked up to be. "Who's Edward?" he asked, looking from his girlfriend to me with a kind of adorkable 'confused geek' look.

"Evil ex-boyfriend. I'll tell you about him later," Angels said dismissively before focusing back on me, her body almost buzzing with the force of her curiosity. "Now speak. Tell me what happened before we arrived. Was he still as much of an asshole as he was when he broke things off with you or did pretty boy finally learn some manners? And what the hell does Tanya have to do with all of this?"

"I'm going to take a shower first, if you don't mind," I replied, chuckling when I watched Angela's face fall with the speed of light now that she wasn't going to get a quick fix of the latest hot gossip.

"Must you?" she pouted.

"Angela Weber!" I cried. "Don't you tell me you wouldn't want to jump right in the shower after you'd wrestled Tanya's naked ass to the floor. There's no knowing what kind of STD's I might have contracted by proxy in the process! If I wait any longer my health might be at stake."

"Fine!" she grumbled as I noticed Ben turning kind of green in the face as he stood next to her. "But you get ten minutes tops before I drag you out of there. Naked or not!"

I gave her my best bitch brow as I crossed my arms in front of my chest. "Half an hour."

"Fifteen minutes," Angela scowled back.

"Twenty," I counter offered.

Angela sighed deeply before dismissively waving her acquiescence. "Deal. But I want details"

I snorted. "Unlikely."

She arched her brow. "I want details or I'll tell Rose how you managed to get that information for your article on the proposed cutbacks on campus security."

I gasped. "You wouldn't….."

That only made her narrow her eyes at me and I had to admit that she looked kind of scary at that moment. "Try me."

"You know," I grumbled, "for someone so small you sure as hell can be annoying sometimes."

"It comes with the job," she snorted as I made my way towards my room. It wasn't as if I didn't already knew that. "Every girl needs an annoying best friend who doesn't let her get away with random acts of silliness or evasive answers. And you know you love me!"

"Yeah, yeah!" I grumbled as I quickly made my way over to my bedroom, chaos and destruction greeting me as soon as I stepped over the threshold.

Great! I'd been here for little under a week and the place was already a pigsty. So much for my resolution to keep everything clean and organized.

I quickly stripped out of my clothes while the water heated up, the only thing keeping me from setting fire to the little pile of fabric right there and then being the trouble I was going to land myself in if I set off the fire alarm. I'd just have to drop them down the garbage shoot later on since there was no way I was ever going to wear those clothes ever again. Not with the risk of any essence of Tanya still clinging to it.

Yuck!

Getting rid of whatever remained of Tanya's filthy whore germs still clung to my clean and relatively virtuous body I quickly jumped into my shower and started lathering up, my skin turning red with the fruits of all my serious scrubbing.

Which, of course, reminded me of a very different and much more pleasant kind of heat I had been feeling when Edward's fingers had ghosted over my skin a couple of minutes ago.

_My eyes closed, my body wobbling slightly at the overwhelming scent of man invaded my system. His hot breath danced across my skin, making me lean in more and more just so that I could be close to his lips. _

_He would be the death of me. But I knew there and then that I could never deny the attraction that pulsed between us intense and unpredictable like a wildfire. _

_It sang to me, beckoning me to follow it into the land of crazy sex hair and ridiculously long fingers, where orgasms were plenty and no one ever cared about getting dressed or being sore or whatever kind of fuckery would interrupt our perpetual state of blissful horniness. _

_But it wasn't just that._

_It was the familiarity of his touch, his voice and his whole being, combined with something completely new. There was a lot of the boy I'd once known and loved in the man I was only nanoseconds away from kissing and I realized with a shock that part of me, the part that had been buried for the better part of the years, had never gotten over him. _

_Even worse: it still craved him like man starving of thirst craved a drop of water. _

"Ugh!" I groaned out loud when I realized the perverted side lane my thoughts had wandered into. "What the hell are you doing, girl? Have you gone completely bat-shit crazy?"

No woman in her right mind would lust over a guy why dumped her ass and left her alone in a predator-infested forest after dark only to meet up again ten years later looking ridiculously hot after just having sex with her arch nemesis.

I should be punching him instead of wondering if his dick had grown at the same pace as the rest of him.

It sure as hell had been eager and willing to greet me just now and – as squicked out as I was about it – my vagina had been equally eager and willing to renew her acquaintance with Edward Anthony Cullen. Or, better said, Edward Antony Cullen's penis.

"I just broke up with my boyfriend! Sex should be the furthest thing from my mind right now!" I growled at no one in particular. Or, perhaps at my sex-crazed sex, which seemed to have overlooked that important little tidbit of information in its quest to get laid good and proper.

"And, even if there had been no boyfriends or ugly breakups, I could never touch a penis that had been inside Tanya Denali, no matter how many times he'd wash it or how many condoms he'd worn," I muttered. _Eww, no, the thought alone made me throw up in my mouth a little! _

Somehow the thought of Edward getting busy with Tanya was all my horny little brain needed to snap out of whatever lust-filled bubble it had been living in and remember how Edward was nothing but a cruel ghost from my past.

I should have been angry with him, not wasting my time thinking about his long, slender piano-man fingers and all of the amazing things those fingers could do to me.

The fact that he had the nerve to accuse me of being crass when he was standing there, looking all post-coital from the rumpled 'I was too busy having hot sex to worry about creases' clothes to the way his hair was sticking out in every possible direction had almost made me even more pissed off than the way he kept on accusing my mom of being a whore.

He, insufferable slut of a man that he was, had the nerve to call my mom a whore.

Typical.

Still, there were more than a few things that weren't adding up.

How Edward could have been so quick to believe that I had already condemned his father was beyond me, though. Sure, the fact that I was writing an article about the victim might not have spoken in my favor, but what did he expect?

He must have known how awkward it would have been if I'd have been the one writing about his dad.

It wasn't like I could have just contacted them or anything.

Not with the way things had ended….

And then there was the way he stood outside Tanya's door, looking almost guilty. It was almost as if he'd been regretting the actions that had lead him to that point.

I snorted, reaching out blindly to grab my conditioner.

He'd better be.

For someone who was so hell-bent on protecting my virtue when we were kids, he sure as hell let his standards slip when it came to himself. He, the one who had strung me along for-fucking-ever while I waited for my first real no-hold-barred kiss and who'd gone on and on about how big a step it would be and how it should not be rushed or taken lightly. _I guess it was what a person could expect from a guy who got his dating advice from Mike Newton._

"But Tanya?" I questioned my own assessment. Would even icky Mike Newton have stooped as low as the town slut and her scary ass fake boobies? I somehow doubted it. Even 'Currant Bun' Newton had his standards, however low those might have been.

"Just….Ugh! Why won't the boy leave me the hell alone?" I growled, almost tearing off the tab as I unleashed my anger on it in an attempt to shut it off.

For years I'd tried to forget him. I'd spend weeks wondering about what had happened to make him turn on me the way he had. I'd spend months trying to figure out how someone I thought I knew and loved could turn out to be so cruel. I still couldn't understand it and it was driving me crazy.

_Apparently up to the point where I'd started talking to myself. _

"Time's up, Bella!" Angela shouted, her voice carrying all the way through my room and the sturdy bathroom door, making my almost break my neck on the slippery wet floor as I jumped from the sudden intrusion. "Get yourself decent ASAP and report to the living room for further questioning or I'm coming in to get you."

If the girl ever gave up on becoming a historian she'd make a fine yet totally terrifying drill-instructor. "Hold your damned horses you impatient little freak!" I yelled back, trying to find a towel that was clean enough to do its job. "I'm coming!"

"That's what she said!" Angela giggled. "And make it snappy. Food's getting cold."

The mention of sustenance was enough to make my stomach growl with impatience and for me to dash through my room like a hurricane, grabbing some underwear from my drawer without even checking to see if it matched (not that it mattered, by the way, since no one but myself would be seeing it) before slipping into a pair of comfortably worn sweatpants and a fresh, though less comfortable than the one I had on before, college sweatshirt.

"You mentioned something about food?" I almost drooled when the spicy smells of Pad Thai invaded my senses. "God! That smells good."

"Eat while you can, Bella," Ben chuckled, watching me approach with what could only be described as a food-horny look in my eyes. "My girl's got plans for you later on."

I snorted. "So that's her tactic. Fatten me up on Thai food until I'm all sated and spice-stoned and then spring a third degree on me."

"You know her," Ben shrugged, looking on with that glow of a man in love as his girl waded into the living room with another armful of bags.

"Boy! You really went to town with the food!" I chuckled as Angela unloaded a mass of small, square containers as well as a few six-packs of Heineken from the bags. "Not that I mind, by the way."

"I doubted you would," she beamed. "It was the least I could do."

"You mean before you break out the pliers and start torturing me for answers?" I smirked, twisting the cap on my beer and taking a large gulp..

Angela grinned evilly, the chopsticks she held in her hands looking an awful lot like torture devices as she tucked into her noodles.

Dear God. She really was Beelzebub's cute little sister.

The food part of our evening didn't go that badly. Sure, I ate and drank more than Angela and Ben put together (a small feat considering they were both lightweights when it came to alcohol) which resulted in a desperate need for some Alka-Seltzer half an hour later, but we still had fun, catching up on what happened since we last saw each other while we ate.

The status quo ended the minute I scooped the last pile of rice into my spoon, Angela veering up as if someone had just told her it was Christmas morning and she could start opening her presents.

I gave her my best bitch-brow, challenging her to start questioning me before I'd fully finished.

Ben was having a hard time keeping himself from smiling as Angela bounced impatiently on the couch beside him, waiting while I slowly chewed my rice. His snorts were soon frozen when he received a scathing glare from his beloved, his frame moving right to the edge of the sofa as he crossed his legs to protect his 'assets'.

But by then, Angela's focus had shifted back to me. "Well?" she spoke, crossing her arms in front of her chest in a demanding statement as soon as she'd watched me swallow the last bite on my plate.

"What?" I asked, disinterestedly picking the last remains of food from between my front teeth.

She narrowed her eyes at me in protest. "You're fed and clean. Gimme the dirt on what happened just now."

"Impatient much?" I snorted, actually enjoying my position of power, though I would have liked it more if I hadn't known how scary Angela Weber could get when she was being denied something she wanted. For someone who'd grown up in a household where austerity and acceptance reigned supreme, the girl sure had strayed from the path.

"Let's start easy," Angela went on indefatigably. "What was Edward doing here? Did he come to see you?"

"What do you think?" I rolled my eyes at her. For a history undergrad she sure could be dense sometimes. "I caught him doing the walk of shame out of Tanya's apartment."

"Yuck!" Both Angela and Ben's faces scrunched up with distaste at the thought alone.

"That's what I said," I shrugged.

"What happened then?" Angela asked, doing that bouncy thing again. "Did you guys talk?"

"For a while," I nodded, remembering how things had been surprisingly civil between us at first. I sighed, tearing at a loose threat on my sweats. "But then he started getting up to his old shit. You know? The yelling, the calling my mother a whore and stuff…..And that's when Tanya walked in. You pretty much saw the rest"

"Vapid bitch," Angela grumbled, exchanging her spot next to Ben for a spot next to me on the other sofa. "As if sleeping with her own sordid little social circle of sluts and asskissers isn't enough! I might have to call my friends to warn them before she moves on from your acquaintances. After all, you don't know that many single guys!"

I chuckled, trying to visualize Angela warning her male friends to stay away from apartment 11B if they valued their reproductive organs. "I don't think she knew about Edward and me, though," I admitted. "Though I doubt it would have stopped her if she did."

"Who is this Edward guy anyway?" Ben asked, "and what's so special about him that he's got the whole eleventh floor in an uproar?"

Angela elbowed him in the gut, hissing at him to be quiet, but I waved her away. I figured that since Ben was already up to his elbows in my personal shit, he might as well be clued in on all the action.

"Edward Cullen used to be my soul mate," I started. "Our mothers were close friends for as long as I can remember and I think they must have cast some freaky love spell on us or something when we were little because I can't remember a time in my childhood when we weren't together. You know…as boyfriend and girlfriend."

"That's sweet," Ben smiled before he turned serious again, "but I take it that young love didn't last?"

I snorted. "You can say that again."

I had to hand it to Ben; for a usually misanthropic computer nerd he was a very good listener. He never moved a muscle as I launched into my story about what had happened on the day we caught Edward's dad and my mom together other than to convey his support and sympathy.

"So what happened then," he frowned, pulling his horn-rimmed glasses from his nose to wipe them clean as I finished with Edward's reaction to what he'd seen. "Did he just stop seeing you like that?"

I sighed. "No, it was a bit worse than that." I looked at Angela. This was part of the story I'd skimmed over when I told her about my past.

It was still so hard to think about it, even after all of the years that had passed and all of my mom's efforts to make me accept it and 'give it a space in my own, personal archive'. I guessed part of it was that I still couldn't wrap my mind around what had happened. It all seemed way too sudden, his behavior way to cruel…..

"You can tell us," Angela suggested softly, her hand reaching out to grab mine and hold it in a comforting warmth. "I can't promise it will help, but I do know that speaking about it takes the weight off of your shoulders."

I nodded. "I guess so."

It was something completely foreign to me, opening up about my troubles. When we moved to California, all Renee had wanted to focus on was moving past my issues and morphing back into her own, happy and peppy little girl. Dwelling on what had happened had never been a part of that. My dad was never the right guy to have a deep and possibly emotional conversation with either, especially not when it involved boys. And even if he had been, there was still no way I could tell him about what happened without getting into what I saw.

"I didn't manage to catch up with my mom after Edward turned me away," I sighed, "so I had to walk all the way home. I didn't have a cell back then…it was still early days for mobile phones and though Edward's parents got him one, my mom always refused to let me have one. She was afraid it would give me cancer or try to snatch my brain or something."

A huge wave of sadness washed over me when I remembered walking home, bawling my eyes out over everything that had happened that day. "I asked my mom what she'd been doing at the Cullens' that afternoon as soon as I got back…"

I shook my head, remembering the look of panic on my mom's face as clearly as if it were yesterday. "I don't know if I even expected an honest and non-evasive answer out of her…She told me not to worry about it and that was that."

"Just like that?" Angela frowned. "You accepted it just like that?"

"Of course not," I scoffed, "but with everything else around me going to the dogs I wasn't about to make matters worse, was I?"

Angela nodded, smiling apologetically as she waited for me to continue. "I tried to call Edward all day but he didn't answer and not even Esme could get him to speak to me.

I sighed, furiously blinking my eyes to keep myself from crying. "He even ignored me when we went back to school on Monday. He was across the street at Forks High so we never shared any classes or anything but we'd usually meet up during break times and we always went home together when we were done for the day. But then there was just….nothing. I think I would have preferred it if he yelled at me or called me names back then but all I got was nothing…."

"On Thursday I finally spotted Edward's bike parked against a tree on the edge of town. I knew he was probably going to go hiking because that was usually where we started from when we went into the forest….."

"Hiking? You?" Ben snorted.

"I know," I chuckled, "but Edward never let me fall. At least, that's what I thought…."

By then tears were falling regardless of my efforts to keep them at bay. We were getting to the hardest part. "Edward had known the forest like the back of his hands ever since we were kids so when he strayed off the path and into uncharted territory I just followed him blindly, knowing that if I could just stay on his tail I would always find my way back home."

I let out a humorless laugh, drying my cheeks with the sleeves of my shirt. "I should have known better than to follow him….to corner him…to pressure him. I knew him and I knew his tendency to lash out at whoever got too close when he needed his solitude. But I didn't care. I wanted to know what the hell was going on and so I cornered him and he….he lashed out in a way I'd never thought him capable of."

Angela sighed and I could feel her arms wrapping me in a comforting hug. "Sweetie, that must have been awful!"

"It was," I sniffed, burying my face in her shoulder, "but the worst thing about it is that I never understood why. I mean, I know what he thought he'd seen and I can understand why it would make him angry….but to be so cruel as to leave me alone deep inside in a forest, knowing it would be dark soon and that I had no way of getting back home? I never thought he would be capable of that…."

"Son of a bitch!" Ben cussed under his breath, the irony of his statement not being lost on me. "That must have done quite a number on you."

I nodded. "By the time my dad and his search posse found me, more than just my clothes were ruined. It was a long time before I could even think about letting a guy come near me again…you know? _That_ way?"

"Jake?" Angela asked.

I nodded. "And even with him I held off until I was absolutely sure about him."

A smile crept onto my face when I remembered how Jacob had pursued me for months, going to great lengths to convince not only me but also my dad of his worth. "He would never have hurt me like that, I know that." If Angela or Ben had picked up on the fact that I'd spoken about Jake in past tense, neither one of them let on.

As silence fell over the room, I noticed with some irony, how I'd been able to suck all of the fun out of the room in next to no time at all. "But enough about me," I sighed. "How about you guys? Please tell me you had some fun this summer."

Angela's face broke out in a grin so wide I was afraid it was going to tear her face in half. "We had so much fun! Ben took me to London to meet his parents which was amazing but boy can it rain in England!"

I chuckled as she paused to catch her breath before the downpour of words started back up again. "And then we went to visit my folks in Pennsylvania where they made Ben sleep on the couch but that didn't matter because he proposed."

I blinked my eyes furiously as I tried to catch up with what she was saying. Angela had always been one to talk a mile a minute but she must have set a new record this time. "What?" I gasped as finally her last words registered. "Ben?"

Ben just nodded proudly as his new fiancé all but slapped me in the face in her effort to show me her engagement ring. "How come I didn't notice this before? That sure as hell is some rock you got on her, Ben!"

"You were too busy being mad at Edward," Angela shrugged, this time keeping her fingers away from my face so that I could actually see the ring as opposed to just feel it digging into my cheeks.

It was beautiful, in a romantic, family heirloom kind of way, and it suited Angela perfectly. "I'm very happy for the two of you," I smiled as Angela danced back to Ben's side looking at him with a love and trust that almost made me wish I could have had all of that with Jacob.

Almost.

We chatted some more about the wedding and the coming year before it was time for me to get back to my room. It was getting late already and I still had to work on my draft of the article on Jane before I could send it to Rose. I'd gotten most of the work done last night at my dad's but it still needed some fine-tuning and I still had to decide on which photo I would pick to accompany it.

And all of that had to happen within the next two to three hours or Rose was going to fry my ass.

After I'd send my draft to Rose for closer scrutiny and edits, I returned my attention to the pictures Alex had send me of his sister, giving them a closer look now that I was done with my article.

"What are you hiding?" I muttered, grabbing the little magnifying glass I kept in my pencil case and holding it over the picture that revealed the tattoo. I could see the outline of the V clearly etched into Jane's skin, but there was something more, something scribbled around the black outline of the V.

Words perhaps?

Yes. Words.

But what did they mean?

I leaned close, so close I could feel the cold celluloid against my skin but all I could see was a blurry outline of two groups of letters.

Words.

I had a feeling that Alec was trying to tell me something by sending it to me. None of the other pictures he'd send me had revealed the tattoo and – even looking at it from a compositional side of things, the picture stood out in an odd way. Her body was turned away from the lens, showing only part of her face clearly while the other half was clouded in shadow. It was useless as far as my request for a picture to accompany my article was concerned.

No, I was _meant_ to see this tattoo. But why?

I growled softly, casting my magnifying aside when I realized that it wasn't going to bring me any closer to finding out the truth. It was so frustrating to know you were onto something that had the potential to proof a man innocent but missing the tiny piece of the puzzle you needed to go forward.

A look t the clock told me that it was time to call it a day. It was already 1 AM, in only eight hours I would be expected at the Department of Communication to start my year as a college senior. It probably didn't make the best of impressions when I showed up sporting back circles under my eyes and bitching everyone out because I stayed up too late.

The problem was, though, that the minute I slid into bed, my poor, tired brain started getting pelted by memories of all of the stuff that had happened today.

Not a good thing when you're trying to drift into calm and nothingness.

As I lay in my bed that night, twisting and turning to get comfortable while trying to put some order in the jumbled mess my brain had become due to the memories, the experiences and the alcohol, I realized that just because I might have put a lid on the past, didn't mean that the past was in any way, shape or form done with me as I was with it.

There were so many questions that needed answering that I wondered if I was going to get any sleep that night. So I did what I always did when my head was too full: I got out of bed, ripped a fresh sheet of paper from my notepad and wrote them all down in a nice, orderly fashion.

It was a long list, and Edward's name popped up more times than I liked.

What was it with that guy and his strange hold over me? If he hated me and my family as much as he said he did, why couldn't he just leave me alone? Why did I even care about him?

It was only them that I remembered something he'd said.

"_What the hell was I supposed to do, Bella?" he'd yelled at me, his eyes and face contorting as if the memories they were seeing caused them pain. "You saw what I saw and I saw a hell of a lot more!"_

What had he seen? It must have been something incredibly damning to cause him to act the way he had. I shook my head, trying to stop the wetness that gathered in the corner of my eye before it grew into a full blown tear. If only I knew it might help me to understand….

I sighed, knowing that there was only one way to find out.

It was much later when I went back to bed, my mind a lot calmer now that I'd written everything down. At least after taking stock of my emotions, there were three things I was completely sure about:

One: Edward was an asshole.

_Plain and simple. End of story._

Two: there was part of him, and I wasn't completely sure how strong and potent that part was, that still lusted after me and – as mortified as that made me feel – it had found its counterpart in the hornier side of me.

_I could see that was going to be a problem. _

Three: I absolutely hated his slutty guts.

_Irrevocably so._

Unfortunately for me, though my subconscious didn't seem to agree with me on either of those certainties except for the second.

Because that was the first night I dreamt about Edward Cullen.

* * *

_**Now you know a little bit more about what happened during those final days in Forks. The only piece of the puzzle left to solve is what Edward found in his father's study to make him last out at Bella like that. Wanna hazard a guess?**_

_**And what about those words Bella spotted? Will they be the key to finding Jane's killer?**_

_**The next chapter will find Bella making some huge discoveries about the case that will affect more than just her professional life…..**_

_**Please review and I will send you a sneak peak at one of them. **_


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. I am in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise, I just use their creations to have my wicked way with them. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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_**This story wouldn't be what it is without my wonderful beta, **_**The Real Teacher**_**, holding my hand and correcting my many errors. Thank you so much!**_

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_**As always: thank you so much for all of your kind words and lovely reviews. They mean a lot to me. **_

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**- 10 -**

I was just sifting through all of the phone calls I'd missed while I was in class – fifteen from Jake, eight alerting me to the fact that I had new voicemails and two from a number I didn't know – when the summons came.

"Bella Swan. Get your ass into my office, now!" Rose's voice boomed through the room, the whole writing staff of _The Daily_ looking first at her and then at me, the looks of all but one conveying their sympathy.

All but one.

"You'll get wrinkles if you keep scowling at me like that," I snorted as I walked past Tanya's desk, smiling as I noticed the bruise beneath her eye and the remnants of the bloody lip she'd done such a poor job of concealing. "I don't think daddy is going to be too eager to pay for a round of Botox after all the money he splurged on 'boosting your confidence'." I let my eyes glide quickly to her scary fake boobs to make my point before I gave het my best bitch brow and quickly put some distance between the two of us.

Cowardly?

Maybe, but I preferred to call it sensible fighting behavior.

I faintly picked up on some of the profanities she threw my way as I entered Rose's office, the temperature dropping a few degrees from the arctic glares my editor-in-chief slash friend (though I was really starting to doubt the latter with the looks she was giving me) threw my way.

"Is there a problem?" I cautiously asked "You did get my draft, right?" I'd been in the hot seat once before but that was when I'd missed a deadline on an article about the severe understaffing in the general and technical department and the problems that was leading too.

"I did," she nodded, her face still sullen. "Jimmy is doing a final run-through right now."

"Okay." At least that probably meant that I wasn't the reason behind Rose's meltdown. "So what's the matter?"

I shifted nervously in my seat, knowing I was taking a hell of a risk, asking a direct question like that. From what I'd seen of 'angry Rose' over the years she could either admire my brass and give me an equally direct answer or she could jump all on my case and mash my skull in with a paperweight.

"You mean other than the fact that all of my senior editors appear to be glaringly incompetent?" she spat, her violet eyes blazing fire but for now she remained seated behind her desk.

Much to my relief.

I sighed. "What happened?" I figured that before I launched into my defense I'd better find out what it was that had her panties all up in a bunch.

Rose rubbed her temples, her eyes closing as she let out a little groan of relief. "Why the fuck didn't you tell me you knew the Cullens?"

I paled, swallowing hard before I stuttered out my apologies. "I didn't think…."

"It's clear you didn't," Rose snorted. "But then again, do you ever?"

I scowled. "It's not like I didn't tell you on purpose! How do you think I felt, coming back from a quiet few weeks in Forks to find out my ex-boyfriend's dad had been accused of killing one of his students?"

"Eager to share with the rest of the class?" Rose snickered. "I mean…it's not as if your involvement with the Cullens wouldn't be useful…."

I shook my head. "Any involvement I might have had with the Cullens is a thing of the past."

"Is it?" Rose jested. "If Tanya is to be believed you were locked in a bust up with young Edward late last night."

"Right," I smirked. "Did Tanya also tell you about _her _bust up with Edward? I mean, not that it's any of my business but I don't think fucking your source is a very professional thing to do."

Rose made a face. "She did it again, huh?"

I nodded. "Not that I have any kind of firsthand evidence – and thank God for that – but the way he looked when I ran into him last night was pretty much self-explanatory."

Rose sighed as she went back to rubbing her temples. "Just what I fucking need right now…."

"And that's all you have to say about it?" I tried to control my frustrations as I spat the words at her. "One of your senior editors decides to whore herself out for a byline and all you do is bitch about the extra work it gives you? What about the reputation of the paper? Did you ever stop to think what would happen if the dean found out about this?"

"Stop it right there, Swan," Rose growled, her eyes spitting fire at me as she raised herself up on her elbows. "I know your jealousy prevents you from thinking beyond getting your revenge and believe me, if I'd been in your shoes I'd probably be the same but how and when I deal with Tanya Denali is up to me."

She fixed me with her gaze, making sure every word hit home before she added. "Not you."

"Fine," I grumbled, crossing my arms in front of my chest. "As long as you fucking deal with her. Lock her up in a janitor's closet for all I care but I'm not – ever – going to work with that bitch again or be in the same room as she is in, for that matter."

Rose shrugged. "Very well." The smile tugging at her lips made me wonder whether Tanya would be a part of the editorial staff of The Daily for that much longer. After all, this wasn't the first time something like this had happened. Loaded-daddy-who-was-friends-with-the-dean or not, there was only so much you could turn a blind eye to.

"Still, you should have told me you knew about the Cullens," Rose continued, sharply steering the conversation back to the original topic. "I mean, if this had been the _Seattle Times_ you would be filing for social security right now."

"I know," I sighed. "And I know I should have spoken to you the moment you first dropped Carlisle Cullen's name but it's just all so….."

"Fucked up?" Rose chimed in, pulling up her eyebrows.

I sighed. "Yeah."

"Do you want me to take you off the case?"

I frowned, rubbing my temples in an attempt to keep my head from throbbing. "I don't know. Should I be taken off the case?"

"I don't know." Rose's sigh matched mine. "God, you're right! This _is_ fucked up!"

"I might have a lead though," I offered.

"On what?" Roses eyes shot up to mine.

"I told you I had to go back home for a family emergency this weekend, right?"

She nodded. "How's your stepmom?"

"Fine as far as I know," I shrugged, "but when I was there, Jake's dad Billy walked in when I was looking at the pictures I had of the victim…"

"The ones the brother gave you?" Rose interrupted.

I nodded. "Turns out her tattoo is similar to one found on a murder victim a couple of years back."

"Similar as in the same?" Rose asked, her frame leaning towards me.

"He couldn't be sure," I admitted, "but he promised to look through his old case diaries to see if there was something in there."

"Interesting," Rose nodded. "So what kind of tattoo did the girl have? She looked kind of middle class conservative to me. You know? Not the kind of girl to walk into a tattoo parlor and let some guy ink her up."

"She probably wasn't," I chuckled, remembering how I'd had to really look to see it myself. "It was small and tucked into her neck right beneath her hairline. She probably didn't want her mommy and daddy to know she'd gone and gotten a big old V permanently stamped into her neck."

Rose frowned, her face scrunched up in thought. "From the way you described it it's almost as if she'd been branded."

Now it was my time to frown. I hadn't thought about it like that. "You've got a good point."

"It's something worth pursuing," Rose smiled, "and it's got the added bonus that it won't get you mixed up with the Cullens all too much."

"So you're giving me the go-ahead?" I asked hopefully.

Rose nodded. "But the moment I find you breaking non-fraternization rules or trying to render one of my reporters out of business you're out."

"Aye, aye, chief!' I snickered bringing up my hand in a mock salute.

"Very well," Rose snickered as a small wave of her hand told me we were done. "Send in Tanya on your way out, will you? Oh and Bells?"

I turned around in the doorstep. "Yeah?"

"Nice remodeling job you did on Denali's face," Rose snickered. "It's a vast improvement as far as I'm concerned."

And just like that my day had become a whole lot brighter.

Tanya's face paled when I relegated Rose's request to her but I couldn't really find it in myself to care. It was about time Tanya found out what kind of bitch bad Karma could be.

I went home shortly after I'd watched her go in, thinking I might as well cook dinner to thank Angela and Ben for being there for me the other night. Cooking had always been a sort of comfort to me, the business of cutting up vegetables and dealing with hot pans and ovens allowing my mind to cool down for a while as I focused on preparing a nice meal.

Who needed therapy when all you needed was a good cookbook and some fresh groceries?

The rest of the night was calm, peaceful and predictable, just as I'd hoped. After dinner I retreated to my room to prepare for class and be out of the way for Angela and Ben to enjoy some gropage or whatever the hell they did in the living room late at night, while I prepped for tomorrow's classes.

By the time I pushed my books into my knapsack I was wiped out. My mind was spinning with all of the stuff that was going on right now and the fact that I'd gotten hardly any rest last night wasn't really helping. Between staying up late to compile lists and being fucked into oblivion by a guy I hated when I did drift into sleep my mind was a jumbled mess.

I sighed, knowing I wouldn't be able to come up with anything useful for my article right now. My mind was too battered to focus on anything long enough to be productive.

Nothing a good round of sleep couldn't fix.

Or so I hoped.

**- x -**

I woke up the next morning about an hour before I actually had to get up because my Blackberry was serenading me with Muse's _Undisclosed Desires._

_Jacob._

I was beginning to see a pattern here.

Why couldn't the guy take a hint?

"Jake?" I croaked, my eyes squinting against the light flooding in through a crack in the curtains. _Strange how you only noticed stuff like that once you were awake…._

"Ah, great. You're up!" Jake's much too chipper voice came from the other end.

I let out a frustrated huff. "I. Am. Now."

"Did I wake you, babe?" he asked, the smile in his voice telling me he wasn't mourning the half hour of quality night rest I was missing out on as intensely I was. "Sorry."

"No you're not," I grumbled, "or you wouldn't be calling me at stupid o'clock. And you remember our last conversation, right? We've technically broken up."

"We're on a break," Jake corrected me, "and it's eight AM, Bella! Normal people are supposed to be up by then."

"Well, my mom always said I was special," I hissed, sitting up now that I knew all hopes of crawling back under the covers for another ten minutes or so would be out of the window. "Was there any particular reason why you're waking me up at this ungodly hour or do you just like pissing me off?"

"Aww," Jake cooed with mock disappointment, "can't a guy just call his girl and tell her he loves her?"

I rolled my eyes. "Not if his name is Jacob Black and he and said girl are _on a fucking break!_ So why don't you tell me what's up before I hang up and go back to sleep."

Jake snorted. "So you don't wanna know the news my dad has for you?"

Well, that got me awake. "Billy found something?"

"I thought that might get your attention!" Jake's snicker on the other end of the line was a bit too victorious after my taste, but for the sake of getting information I was willing to let it slide for now. "And he's standing right beside me if you want to talk to him…."

"Gimme!" I all but snarled into the receiver. "Please Jake?"

"Wow! Impatient much?" Jake chuckled, but before I could yell at him about how you should never tease your ex-girlfriend before 8 AM, a rustling sound told me Jake had finally realized just how much of an ass he was being and had handed the phone to his dad.

"Bella?" Billy's voice sounded as hesitant as always, a testimony to the man's refusal to get used to modern day technology.

I snickered as I thought how Billy would have been much better husband material for my mom than my dad had. But then again it would have made me and Jake brother and sister which was kind of gross, come to think of it.

I shook my head to get that pretty disgusting thought out of my mind. "Hey, Billy! How are you doing?" I spoke apprehensively. I didn't know what Jake had told Billy or what the old man thought about the turn out relationship had taken.

But there was only one way to find out.

I could almost hear his smile though his words as he replied. "Can't complain, though I have to say standing by the stream all day on my own can get a bit lonely. Not that I want your dad to bail on my sister, though."

"I can imagine," I snorted, relieved that apparently Billy was as eager to talk about my relationship status as I was.

He and I had always been close, even before I started going out with Jake. I hoped that wouldn't change now that Jake and I were sort of no longer together (though apparently our opinions differed about that).

Back when I first moved to Forks I'd tried tagging along on my dad's fishing trips, hoping it would be a good bonding experience. The only thing it turned out to be was completely and utterly boring. Really? What in the name of all that was holy could be so interesting about staring at a piece of string all day? I didn't get it, even though my dad and Billy seemed to be happy to spent their days sitting in this rickety old rowing boat that was a miniature Titanic waiting to happen and just stare out in front of them, the only sound being when they took a swig from their beers or when one of them finally caught something. I just didn't get what all the excitement was all about. "So how is Sue?"

"She's doing much better," Billy reassured me, "but that's also turning out to be a bit of a problem."

"How so?" I frowned, wondering how someone getting better could be problematic. Recovery was a good thing, wasn't it?

Billy snickered. "You dad's got a full-time job trying to keep her in bed."

"Ah." Somehow that wasn't surprising at all. I should have known that my active and bubbly step mom would hate being cooped up in her bedroom without any outlet for her creativity.

"She actually pelted poor Seth with grapes yesterday when he wouldn't let her out," Billy continued. "Somehow she'd gotten it in her head that the poor boy would be willing to disregard Charlie's command to keep her in bed, even if it meant locking her up or strapping her down. It took Leah to finally get her calmed down and willing to at least give it another day before she tried getting down the stairs."

My eyes nearly budged out of my head. "Leah did something useful?"

Billy let out a loud snort. "I know. We were all amazed."

"Maybe there's hope for her yet," I smiled, at the same time thinking it would be unlikely that my scary, perpetually PMS-ing neo-goth of a step sister would ever change into something resembling a normal human being.

"Maybe," Billy snickered, "but I didn't call to bash on my poor niece. I have news."

"You found something?" I asked, trying to keep my excitement from becoming too obvious. This was a murder case we were dealing with and I thought that it required at least some respect.

"I did," Billy immediately replied. "It's a good thing I always kept my personal case notes because…well….. to say the similarities are striking would be an understatement."

I quickly made my way over to my desk, grabbing a pen and a piece of paper to take notes as I waited for Billy to elaborate. "What have you got for me?"

"A lot, actually," Billy said. "It turns out this was one of the last cases I worked on from start to finish….you know, before I got shot?"

I nodded, not that he could see that through the phone, remembering what Jake had told me about his father's accident on the job.

Billy had been in high pursuit of some lowlife piece of scum who'd tried to run from his arrest when suddenly the punk pulled a gun on him and started shooting. It would all have turned out okay, since the perp was a pretty crappy shooter, had it not been for one of the bullets ricocheting off the wall and hitting Billy right in the back, damaging his spine and confining him to a wheelchair for the rest of his life. It was the nightmare of every cop and his family.

"I think that's why I remembered the tattoo," Billy went on. "Normally you would forget about stuff like that but not in this case…."

"Was there anything particular about it?" I asked tapping my pen against the bare sheet of paper in front of me in impatient excitement.

Billy chuckled. "How about the fact that someone had tried to scrape it away?"

I sucked in a huge breath of air, my stomach revolting against the pictures my mind came up with. "They…what?"

"The medical examiner who'd dealt with the case thought it was done with a standard kitchen knife which seemed logical at the time seeing as the crime was committed in the victim's home and the body was found lying in the kitchen amidst the contents of the cutlery drawer," Billy went on. "The murder was committed with another weapon though…..probably a dagger, going by the size and depth of the incisions…."

I tried to keep my mind from dwelling on the fact that it was a person we were talking about here. A young woman with hopes, dreams and ordinary hang-ups of the kind that every young woman – quite like myself – usually had. "B-but how was the case similar?" I asked, after taking a few deep breaths. "You said the tattoo was….damaged…"

"I said they'd tried to scrape it away," Billy interrupted me, "but when I thought about it I remembered the ME telling me that he thought the killer had been disturbed…that he had to flee to avoid discovery before he'd completed his gruesome mutilation of the victim's corpse."

"So the tattoo…." I started.

"We could still make out the shape of it – the same V-shaped tattooed on your victim's neck – and piece together bits and pieces of the letters surrounding it."

"There were letters?" I gasped. _Of course, there were. It was the same tattoo. It had to be. _

"From the bits and pieces we were able to piece together two words: _Terras Irradient_," Billy went on, "but that was pretty much where that particular lead ran dry."

I frowned. "Why?"

"The phrase, which translates to 'let them give light to the world' is the motto of Amherst College and with the victim being an Amhest alumnus we figured she just got it as a token to her time there."

"But Jane wasn't at Amherst," I countered.

"I figured that much," Billy sighed, "which was why I've contacted my old SPD precinct and talked to one of the guys on charge there now. This is something they need to know."

"Of course," I was quick to reply, Billy's hesitance taking me a little aback. Did he really think I was so dead set on making a name for myself in the field of journalism that I would prevent justice from happening? "Did they say anything to you about it?"

"Not that much." Billy sounded a bit frustrated. "Just the usual 'we'll look into it'."

"I'm sure they must be busy," I offered. "I mean, no cop in his right mind would pass up on a lead like that. They must be flooded right now with all of the research and stuff."

"Probably." Billy sounded as if he wasn't so sure. "And even if they won't pick it up, I can always count on my ex-future-daughter in law, right?"

"You bet!" I chuckled, a look at the clock telling me I had to hurry if I wanted to make it too class in time and feed my already grumbling stomach. "Look, I have to go."

Billy chuckled. "Of course. I keep forgetting you're still a student with all the serious research you've been doing."

"Don't remind me," I grumbled, once again cursing my mom and her cookie educational views that made me a whopping two years older than everyone else in my class. And two years in college meant geriatric in the eyes of my fellow students. "Thanks for the information. You have no idea how much I appreciate it."

I could almost hear Billy shrug through the phone. "Anything to prevent an innocent man from going down for another man's crime. I knew the Cullens back when they lived around here. Not very well, mind you, but well enough to know that Carlisle Cullen is as decent a man as I've ever seen. I have a hard time believing he could commit a crime as cold blooded as this."

I nodded. "I can't believe it either, no matter how strongly the evidence points towards him."

We parted with the usual pleasantries, Jake coming on the phone for a minute after I'd said goodbye and another thank you to his dad to whine me out on when I was coming back to Forks. By the time the call finally ended much of my euphoria had given way to my usual bad morning mood again.

The guy really couldn't just take a hint.

Why didn't I dump him properly when I had the chance?

_Oh, right. _

_Guilt. _

When I emerged from my room about half an hour later, freshly showered, dressed and my mind already stewing on the information Billy had just give me, the house was empty. Angela and Ben must have already left for class or decided to get some breakfast at the diner across the street.

They did leave coffee though, bless their hearts.

I was glad to be alone, the peace and quiet affording me some room to think and get my head sorted out in time for my first class of the day. God knew I needed to pay attention in my _Journalism Ethics _class since I was unfortunate enough to end up in Professor Rhodes' class.

Siobhan Rhodes was a force to be reckoned with, both within and outside of the Department of Communication. One of the longest sitting members of staff at the whole university (making her old enough to rival Methuselah) she was revered as much as she was feared for her strict opinions on the level of accomplishment expected by students and members of staff alike and the way a student was supposed to behave; her retaliation swift and scathing if she found one of her students or colleagues lacking in either of those two requirements.

I smiled, pouring the black liquid of the Gods into my traveling mug as I hunted for a couple of granola bars to munch on while I walked to class, all the while remembering how she'd made the guy sitting next to me in my freshman class cry one day because he had been ill-prepared for her class.

He should have known better.

But I didn't have much time to dwell on what may or may not happen in class. I had more important fish to fry in the next half hour or so before I had to leave for class, and the first order of business would be the question on how to proceed with the information Billy had handed to me.

I was torn.

Part of me knew that I was in too deep. Serious and potentially dangerous research journalism like this was the playing field of seasoned reporters working for major newspapers such as the Seattle Star, not for a journalism major who's most remarkable achievement to day had been the uncovering of a plot to cut down a few old and very beloved trees because they blocked the sunlight from pouring into the offices of some of the university bigwigs.

On the other hand I knew that this was a huge chance to put myself into the picture with some of my potential employers. This was my final year and if I wanted to gain any form of meaningful employment in this economy I knew I had to really bring it.

This might be the one and only chance I got.

Then there was the part of me – the true journalist – who was just chomping at the bit at the realization that I could be on my way to find something huge. I mean…the information I had may help prove that Carlisle was innocent – not that I wasn't already convinced of that – and solve a murder case or at least be the first news reporter to write about it, seeing as the Seattle Police Department might beat me to it considering their superiority both in resources and manpower. Either way, this was what it was all about, the chance of a lifetime, the golden ticket to enter Willy Wonka's factory of cutting edge journalism. I would be mad if I wasn't so excited about this.

And then there was the Edward thing.

I sighed, remembering the very vivid dreams I'd been having about him – or better said: about the two of us – I'd been having the last couple of nights.

I was beginning to see this was going to be a problem.

Why wouldn't the guy leave me alone?

It was almost like the moment that I'd convinced myself that I hated his guts the guy started haunting my dreams, making me realize that my head and my heart were so not agreeing on this.

God! My feelings were such a jumbled mess.

I had been in love with the boy Edward used to be and had hated the way we had parted ways. But even though he'd yelled at me, fucked my enemy and seemed to be convinced that I was supporting the wrong team in his dad's court case, I still couldn't deny the burn of attraction I felt every time we came face to face or – if I was being completely honest – when I just thought about the guy.

Forget problem. This was going to be a disaster.

"Miss Swan," a sharp voice cut through my thoughts. "If you are not prepared to pay attention in my class then I would suggest you pack your things and leave."

I changed color, suddenly remembering how I'd made my way to school and into Professor Rhodes' classroom while I had been deeply immersed in my own personal cluster fuck.

"My apologies, Professor. It won't happen again," I was quick to apologize, shaking my head to clear it of all thoughts of Edward and focus on the never-ending bore that was _Ethics of Journalism_.

By the time professor Rhodes finally released her class most of the students had drifted into a semi-comatose state, the monotonous drone of the professor's voice only being disturbed when she caught someone actually drifting into sleep or otherwise visibly not paying attention.

Tanya was clearing out her desk by the time I finally made it to _The Daily_, her face immediately pulling into a scowl as she saw me walk in.

"You know?" she snapped, her eyes spitting fire. "I can understand you're jealous at me for landing the hottest piece of ass in town. But ratting me out to Rosalie? That's low even for you!"

"Me jealous? Yeah right!" I snorted. "I'm sorry to burst your bubble there, T-Rex, but I was all over Edward Cullen years ago."

I was dancing on the inside as I watched Tanya's face fall, her brow furrowing as the two brain cells in that empty head of hers no doubt started mulling over how Edward and I might have met. "I don't believe you," she concluded in the end, her face betraying her false confidence.

"Your funeral." I shrugged. "But the next time you meet up with lover boy, ask him who his first girlfriend was."

Tanya's eyes narrowed and I could see that those very same two brain cells were now working very hard to come up with a comeback, but faith, it seemed, was on my side because at that same moment the door to Rose's office swung open and Grace came out, looking rather forlorn.

Rose frowned. "Are you still here, Denali?"

Knowing that this was as good a chance as I was going to get I quickly rose from my desk and made my way over to the coffee corner – the breathing heart of _The Daily_ – but not before turning around for one last dig at the filthy whore who'd defiled my favorite sweatshirt. "Enjoy my sloppy seconds, Tanya."

I didn't feel the need to inform her that I'd never gotten as much as a proper French kiss out of Edward Cullen. That was on a strict need-to-know basis as far as I was concerned.

When I made my way back the bitch had left the building, probably in search of her next victim, giving me the opportunity to actually get some work done on my next article. With two editions of The Daily already out this school year I was eager to see my name back in print. Tomorrow would be the day the articles Tanya and I had written about Carlisle and Jane would appear in the paper, having been preceded by a detailed _in memoriam_ on Monday and an overview of the what happened as far as we knew in today's paper.

It was about time we posted something new.

Not that I didn't think Grace and Tyler hadn't been doing great jobs on their articles but it was the same shit anyone could read in the _Seattle Times_ or just about every other random Seattle newspaper.

I looked up to see Rose's statuesque form outlined behind the blinds that shut her office off from the rest of the newsroom, her hands gesticulating wildly as she spoke to someone on the phone.

The pent up anger and frustration behind her frantic gestures made me smile sadly, wondering who the poor schmuck was who found him (or her) self on the receiving end of Rosalie's wrath. Looking at her it was easy to forget that she and I were in the same boat. Like me, she would be out there; looking for a job by the end of the year and like me she knew this was her big break. But unlike me there was a lot of pressure on her shoulders to follow in the footsteps of previous editors who'd gone on to take jobs at big national newspapers.

It was why the job of editor in chief had never really appealed to me.

Taking a deep breath I set back to work, knowing there was one thing I could do; one thing to help both of us get what we wanted: write kickass articles.

Signing in to the _LexisNexis_ database as soon as my computer had booted up I typed in the name of the first victim – Bree Tanner – hoping my search would come up with something.

There was plenty.

As was the case with Jane, the murder of a young female student had garnered quite a lot of attention back in the day, though there had never been enough evidence to arrest even as much as a single suspect.

No mention of the tattoo, though.

As Billy said, it seemed to have been regarded as an insignificant detail at the time.

I printed out some of the more detailed articles about the case to take back home with me for a closer study before entering a new search query, this time focusing my attention on what I knew about the tattoo.

As I'd suspected most of the many links matching my query had something to do with Amherst College, seeing as _Terras Irradient_ was the university's motto. My eyes stopped when they found an entry that appeared to be completely different and – much to my surprise – was written by a former reporter from the Daily.

_**The truth behind the Volturi: How a seemingly innocent fraternity seized command over our university.**_

The first thing that popped out at me as soon as I had clicked on the link was a picture of a woman, clad in only a simple white sheet that revealed her Rubenesque figure as well as the pendant that hung around her neck.

I gasped, immediately recognizing the pendant's V-shaped form, my eyes scanning down as my heart sped up, knowing it had found something.

Something bigger than even my wildest dreams had been able to come up with.

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_**What do you think the Volturi are? Innocent fraternity or crime syndicate? And what's the deal with Jake and Tanya? Will he ever get the message and let Bella go? Is this the last we've seen of Tanya? What will Bella do with all the information she's uncovered?**_

_**Let me know what you think. One of the things I love best about writing a murder mystery is reading everyone's theories. Some of you are very close…..**_

_**Follow me on twitter for updates on my updates, the sounds or pictures that inspired me when I was writing and other random musings. I'm **_**missbaby25**_** over there.**_

_**As always: reviewers will get teased. **_


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. I am in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise, I just use their creations to have my wicked way with them. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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_**This story wouldn't be what it is without my wonderful beta, **_**The Real Teacher**_**, holding my hand and correcting my many errors. Thank you so much!**_

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_**The response to this story never fails to overwhelm me. Thank you so much for reading and sharing your thoughts and theories with me. It means so much to me.**_

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**- 11 -**

"That'll be $65,50," the cab driver announced as he pulled up in front of the gate.

"What? You've got to be fucking kidding me!" I groaned, fishing in my wallet for the money as my head continued to pound with the aftermath of too much whiskey and the onslaught of bad decisions.

"Do I look like I have time to joke around?" the guy growled, tapping his fist against the steering wheel. "You were the one hell bent on being driven all the way to Woodway in the middle of the evening rush hour. Now pay up."

I grudgingly threw a wad of cash his way and got out of the cab before things could get ugly, the reasoning behind a sixty-five dollar fee for a cab ride that took little more than half an hour still being a complete mystery to me.

Not that I didn't deserve to pay for the mistakes I'd made today, but this wasn't exactly what I had in mind when I thought about doing penance.

The two or three reporters that were still camped out in front of our driveway were having a field day, the sudden ability to get a clear picture of me when usually all they got was some blurry smudge as I drove past them making them tumble over one another in their efforts to get an interesting scoop.

"Back from a heavy night on the town, Cullen?" one of them remarked. "Like father, like son, eh!"

I growled, trying to keep myself from strangling the fucker as I punched the security code into the manual, wishing I had never been as stupid as to think that having a couple of drinks would make me feel better.

"Are you happy, knowing the Seattle Slayer is going to come home with you and your mom soon?" another sneered, the flashing lights and hum of the camera's still going on relentlessly.

By the time the front gate finally swung open I was trembling with rage but still determined not to let them get what they wanted. If anything, today had told me that acting on impulse was only going to have me end up getting screwed; literally _and_ figuratively.

My head was killing me and, as I made my way down the driveway, it was as if every step drilled the truth further and further into my skull.

_I was an asshole._

_An egoistic, impulsive son of a bitch. _

_Bella couldn't have been more right about me. _

During the drive back to Woodway fragments of my conversation – if you could call it that – with Bella had drifted through my mind, her words starting to hit home harder and harder the more I thought about them.

A long time ago I'd made the worst mistake of my life by giving into my anger when I – older and supposedly wiser – should have done my best to protect her. And though I may not have been the heartless son of a bitch she'd painted me out to be, I wasn't much better than the disgraceful image she'd created either.

And what was worse: I still hadn't learned from my mistakes.

"_Your anger will be your downfall one day, if you don't make an effort to harness it."_ If my granddad had only known how true those words, spoken to me right before he died when I was six years old, would one day turn out to be, he'd probably turn in his grave.

I'd failed him.

I'd failed Bella.

But most of all I'd failed my mom.

Walking down the driveway, my mom's loneliness screamed out at me from every corner of the garden, making me feel even like more of a fuckup than I already was. It was a perfect retreat, the bushes and trees and flower perks all manicured to perfection and the grass never rising above the height needed to create the perfect lush green tapestry.

It was too perfect,

When the decision was made to move back to Seattle, the place where my mom and dad had met and fallen in love when they were both still in college, my mom had insisted on getting a place away from the hustle and bustle of town and with enough outside space that she could turn it into a sizeable garden.

She must have known, even back then, how much time she would have to spend in it once I would leave for college.

Over the years she had turned a lackluster little stretch of land in a garden that made Eden sound like a barren wilderness. She knew each and every plant in it by heart and talked about them as if they were close friends of hers. I'd rolled my eyes at the phone on many occasions, fearing my mom had been it in the sun for so long that the heat had gotten to her.

But looking at the garden, the beautiful colors and smells enveloping me the further I progressed along the driveway, I started to fear that those plants of her were probably the only _real_ friends she had, apart from Eli and the rest of the family.

I had neglected to see her needs.

_Just like dad had. _

I swallowed the bile my many regrets had stirred within me before I opened the front door. It would do her no good if I started having my own personal pity party right now. If I really wanted to make amends for my actions – past and present – I would have to start by being there for her.

No more being a cocky and impulsive. It was about time I started to own up to my responsibilities.

Now would be as good a time as any to start.

"Edward? Is that you?" mom's voice drifted into the foyer from the kitchen as soon as she heard me come in.

I took a few deep breaths, dumping my keys and wallet on the side table before steeling myself as I tried to master my face into something that hopefully looked less guilty and self-loathing than I felt. It was only when I knew that I was in control of myself again that I entered the kitchen, immediately spotting my mom hunched over the stove. "Hey mom. How are you?"

The delicious smells coming from the pots and pans on the state-of-the-art stainless steel hob made my mouth water, my body moving closer to the action on its own accord and much to my mom´s humor.

She beamed back at me, holding her wooden spoon out for me to taste the pasta sauce she was preparing as she had done a million times when I was young. "I'm doing fine, Edward."

I walked up to her, groaning as my lips folded around the spoon and my taste buds were greeted with the powerful combination of tomato, garlic and Italian herbs. "God, I've missed your cooking!"

"You've been drinking," my mom scowled, our current position allowing her to sniff out my current predicament with the accuracy of a golden retriever.

I should have known better than to think I could fool my mom.

I sighed, handing my head in shame. "I wish that was all I've been doing."

"What's wrong Edward?" She narrowed her eyes, scrutinizing more than just my scruffy appearance for a while. "And don't you dare tell me everything's fine. I may not go out much these days, but that doesn't make me a complete stranger to the ways of the world. Something is weighing you down and, judging from the way you've been avoiding me for the past couple of days, I gather that it has everything to do with your father's case."

I sagged down on a kitchen chair, dragging my hand through my hair. "It's all just so….fucked up right now."

I half expected my mom to lecture me on my choice of language, but all she did was turn back to the stove, cut the fire and pour the pasta into a sieve to drain the liquid out of it.

"How so?"

When I didn't answer she turned around, wiping her hands on a clean towel before placing a steaming bowl of _penne rigate_ in the middle of the table, her tone changing to soft and slightly sad as she continued. "There used to be a time when you told me everything. Right now….it feels as if I don't even know you anymore."

"I saw Bella today," I blurted out, desperate to share at least some of the burdens that weighed me down with my mom.

Because she was right.

I was as much a stranger to her as the guy who delivered our mail.

Her eyes turned huge and she nearly dropped the bowl of simmering pasta sauce she had been carrying over to the table. "Bella Swan?" she gasped, looking at me for confirmation.

I nodded. "Apparently she's back in Washington."

"Hmm," mom mused, handing out plates, cutlery and napkins on autopilot before pouring herself a glass of merlot and sitting down opposite from me at the table. "Little Isabella Swan. I always wondered what would become of her. She was so bright and lovely…..I was so sad to see things end between the two of you."

I sighed, piercing a couple of noodles on my fork to stall for time as I thought about how much I wanted to share with my mom. "I know," I finally admitted, closing my eyes and groaning with pleasure as my mom's special pasta sauce once again hit my pallet, "but I didn't have any other choice."

I knew that was a lie. Even if Bella hadn't made it so abundantly clear to me earlier on, I still knew that I hadn't been entirely without options.

I could have stayed and fought.

I could have stood by her and demanded an explanation from our parents.

But instead I ran, hiding behind my fears of seeing my mom end up hurt if the truth would ever get out.

And look where that had gotten me.

My mom had waited patiently, casually shifting her food around on her plate, while I was struggling with the weight of my guilty conscience. "I think it's about time you told me what happened all those years ago," she finally demanded, when she realized she wasn't going to get what she wanted without having to work for it. "I have been very patient over the last ten or so years but I won't stand back and watch the two men in my life throw yet another chance at reconciliation to the wolves because of stubbornness and spite."

I snorted, letting my fork drop onto the plate with a loud clang. "Like it's that simple."

"Then tell me what the hell is going on!" mom cried, making my face snap up to meet her frustrated glare, the intensity of it quite shocking in someone so naturally subdued as Esme Cullen-Platt. "Really, Edward. I can't be that much more horrible than living with all this hate you seem to feel towards your father."

"I beg to differ," I grumbled. "I mean, I can only speak for myself, but personally finding your father in the arms of your girlfriend's mom to me is pretty fucking disgusting!"

The words were out before I could stop them and, while I mentally kicked myself for just blurting out the fact that my dad had had an affair with one of my mom's best friends over the dinner table, I held my breath waiting for my mom's reactions.

Like expected, the sound of silverware clanging onto wood permeated the air but what I hadn't expected at all was that that sound would be combined with laughter.

In fact, my mom seemed to be in stitches over hearing the news of her husband's infidelity.

_What the fuck?_

"Edward! My dear boy!" my mom choked out in between her giggles. "Are you really trying to tell me you think your father was having an affair with Renee Swan? Wherever did you get that idea?"

When I just kept gawking mutely as if she'd just jumped on top of the table and started taking off all her clothes she continued. "Really Edward!"

She let out a loud snort that was so unlike her that I found it almost upsetting. "Renee and Carlisle have always been close – maybe even closer than I was with her – but never _that_ way. Suggesting the two of them did anything even remotely sexual together would be the same thing as accusing me of getting it on with your Uncle Eli!"

Yuck.

The fact that she was laughing at me was making me feel all kinds of frustrated, though. "But I saw them…._together_! Bella and I both did."

She held up her hand to stop my words, her face suddenly serious again as she continued. "And that was what made you break things off with Bella?"

I nodded, the memories mixed with my still present whiskey-induced headache assaulting my poor head.

Mom sighed, shaking her head at me. "I wish you'd told me about this when it was actually happening.," she patted my hand, a sad smile gracing her lips, "because I fear you have made a bad mistake that day. "

"But I heard him basically admit that he was banging her!" I cried, my vexation making the words pour out of my mouth before I could even thing about the choice of words.

"Edward!" my mom's stern reply cut through the air, making me stutter out an excuse almost instantly. "I raised you better than to use that kind of crass language."

She huffed, her mouth pulling into a tense line. "I know it's going to be hard for you to trust me on this but you will just have to go out on a leap of faith on this one: Your. Father. Never Cheated. On. Me."

The way she spoke the words, articulating slowly and clearly, almost made me believe her, but she knew she had to do better than that. "Look," she added with a weary sigh. "I'll be the last to deny that your father isn't an easy man to love and that he has made some decisions in the past that are hard even for me to reconcile myself to, but I know that he has always been a faithful husband."

I shook my head at her, my bitterness taking over as I spoke. "Yeah, and that downtown fuckpad of his is just so that he can avoid rush hour traffic after his shift? I don't think so."

My mom let out another sigh. "There is a lot about your father that you don't know – in fact, there are things he is even keeping for me – but at least I have always been sure of his loyalty to his family – to us. I couldn't have stayed with him for all these years if I wasn't."

I rose from the table, knowing that we had reached an impasse. "I'm sorry mom, but I don't have your certainty to help me out."

As I left, I heard her mutter a soft reply. "I know, son, but all I ask is that you give him a chance to redeem himself."

Her words were still haunting me the next day, while I spent my morning in court defending a few minor cases.

_Give him a chance. _

I snorted, looking at the clock on the wall across from me as I waited until we would be called back into the room to hear my client's verdict.

By now, a team of court-approved mechanics would be all over my house installing all of the stuff for my dad's electronic house arrest meaning that there would be nothing in the way of my dad's speedy release from prison and his becoming a permanent fixture to the house and grounds.

_I would have no other choice but to give him a chance. _

I couldn't help but think about my mom's reaction again. To say that the way she'd reacted was a bit…unexpected, would be the understatement of the year. I'd expected anger, grief or maybe even a full mental breakdown.

Not disbelief.

At least, not the kind of disbelief my mom had shown. It was like the thought alone was so preposterous that it made her doubt my fucking mental abilities.

_Strange. _

I hadn't told her about the pictures I'd found in his study, the pictures that had send me flying into a fit of rage that had caused me to make the biggest mistake of my life.

_Pictures of her…._

I narrowed my eyes again as the images of a naked Renee Swan being passed around a group of masked men like the cheap whore that she was, shot in front of my eyes again. No amount of time had been able to blur them, the smile on her face and the lustful look in her eyes haunting me still.

The blinking light, indicating that we were due back in to hear the judge pass verdict on my client's case couldn't have come at a better time, the memories of the time I'd spend locked up in my room during days following my discovery, thinking out one crazy theory after another slowly getting pushed to the back of my mind as I made my way back into the stately court room.

Back into character.

I closed my eyes, willing my mind to focus back on my job, my efforts not completely successful. I'd been so sure of myself back then; the logic my fifteen year old brain had come up with unquestionable in my eyes.

Renee Swan was a whore and was fucking my dad which made for two possibilities, one even more disgusting than the other.

One: Bella, the girl I had every intention of losing my virginity to as soon as we were both of an age where such actions might be morally acceptable, was related to me.

Which would make any kind of carnal knowledge of her gross and morally unacceptable.

Two: Bella's insistence that the time for loosing said virginity be rather sooner than later meant that when it came to her and her mom, the apple hadn't fallen than far from the tree.

Which was equally gross, though maybe not as morally unacceptable as the first option.

In the end, the only logical solution to the problem was to break things off with Bella in a way that would leave no room for interpretation, if not to protect myself, then to protect my mom. _She_ should never know. That much was a given.

I sighed, dragging my hand through my hair as I sat down on the hard, wooden seat opposite the judge, remembering how my warped logic had brought me to actions that couldn't be justified.

I'd never intended for it to happen the way it did. I'd planned it all out up in the quiet and loneliness of my room. I'd take a few days to calm down and get my act together and, at the end of those days, I'd take Bella out for coffee at the diner – the public nature of the venue hopefully preventing her from making a scene – and explain to her – calmly and rationally – why the two of us would be better off if we broke up.

I never wanted to crush her the way I did, but when she followed me into the woods that day, long before my anger had even begun to simmer down to a tolerable level I'd lashed out in a way I'd regretted the second my anger had started to abate and my sanity returned.

_But by then it was already too late. _

"What is it going to be?" my client asked me as he sat back down next to me, pulling me back into the here and now. "Do you think the judge will send me to jail?"

I had to fight the urge to roll my eyes at him. "I hardly think so."

My client was one of the many college kids that had gotten arrested in the build-up to the start of the new academic year.

Really, what was with those idiots?

According to Garrett and Eli it was cases like these that would give me an excellent grasp of Seattle's legal landscape as well as give them an inkling of my capacities as a legal representative and I had to say that the relative ease of this particular case had allowed me to learn a few important names and find my bearings around King County Courthouse.

So far so good. Not that I wasn't getting sick and tired of hearing the same tales of drunken stupidity over and over again.

Take for instance the guy sitting next to me, sweating like he'd just run a marathon as he nervously shifted in his seat. Instead of throwing a party in their dorm or in some off-campus student paradise, they'd chosen to do their drinking in a downtown sports bar which, apart from the fact that you could get drunk while watching the Mariners' game on a big screen, was pretty damn stupid in itself since it increased the chances of getting arrested for public intoxication considerable. Then, of course, they had to top even that after they got chucked out of the bar when the barman thought they'd had enough.

I mean, how stupid did you have to be to start singing _All things Bright and Beautiful_ in the middle of the road at two in the morning while naked from the waist down? It was as good as walking into a police station and pissing all over the front desk.

Now I hadn't exactly lived the life of a monk at Dartmouth and Harvard, but at least I knew better than get drunk (or sing nakedly) in a public place. And anyway, the chances of getting laid were much better if you stayed in your own dorm and settled for just a widescreen plasma than when you relocated to a sports bar.

I sighed, the beginning of a quite disturbing pattern beginning to arise in my mind as I wondered what was worse: turning into an amateur Pavarotti with an exhibitionistic streak when drunk or jumping into bed with the first available piece of ass?

At least I'd managed to stay the hell out of prison.

I ran my hand through my hair as I looked sideways at my client, the memories of my own venture into drunken stupidity suddenly making me feel oddly sympathetic towards him. "It will be fine," I reassured him. "You'll probably be sentenced to some community service and will be required to attend an alcohol awareness program but I doubt there will be anything more to it."

My client nervously licked his lips, his eyes shooting from the door the judge had disappeared behind to the empty seat in the center of the courtroom. "Are you sure?"

This time I wasn't able to suppress my snort. Sympathetic though I may have been, I wasn't one to suffer fools gladly and, much to my own frustration, my client sure wasn't the brightest star that had ever graced the galaxy. "You were arrested for public intoxication. That barely makes you Al Capone."

My client was still contemplating that statement when the judge came in, his mind so occupied by everything that was going on around him that I had to poke him in the side to get him to rise from his lazy ass in reference to the court.

"Please, pay attention," I hissed, "or you might be landing yourself a ticket to King County Jail after all if the judge holds you in contempt."

The guy shot out of his seat like a comet, right before the judge sat down and let his eyes wander over his courtroom before getting down to business, the look on his face telling me my client wasn't about to walk away without a stern lecture.

And I was right.

My poor client had shriveled into a miserable pile of remorse by the time we exited the room. The judge had been stern and very clear in his verdict.

"_I doubt this was what your parents had in mind when they paid your tuition fee. Instead of working hard and making them proud and glad to have sacrificed their hard-earned money on your education, you choose to throw their money and expectations away on alcohol and mindless entertainment." _

By the time the judge had finished his tirade against my client I was thanking God and the good state of Washington for providing sentencing guidelines to which all members of the judicature had to abide because it was clear that, had it been up to the honorable Judge Martin Shaw, my client would have had ample time to contemplate his vices in jail.

Being as it was, my client had walked away with a 180 day probation period, twenty hours of community service and an order to attend a court-approved alcohol awareness program. If those requirements were to be met, no trace would remain of his first – and hopefully last – brush in with the judicial system.

"So, what do we do now?" my client, having obviously retrieved some of his courage again, spoke.

I shrugged. "You go back to college, serve your community service, attend the court-imposed program, pay the invoice you'll be getting from my firm, and – hopefully – never do something stupid like this again."

"Just like that?" His eyes were huge as he looked at me, telling me it might not have been in my client's best interest to paint so easy a picture of what was about to happen.

"You're a first time offender," I explained, "so they are willing to give you the benefit of the doubt and have you walk away with the minimum sentence. Just make sure this doesn't happen again because they won't be so lenient next time."

I inwardly cursed myself and the moron in front of me for sounding like a father berating a small child. I couldn't be that much older than the guy – seven years tops – and here I was, lecturing him on proper behavior and campus etiquette.

"If I may give you a piece of advice," I added, not wanting to sound like an old fart any longer. "Sports bars are nice for watching the game but if you want to get drunk: stick to campus. The beer at your average dorm party may be disgusting but it's a lot cheaper and after a few drinks you won't notice the difference anyway."

My client nodded as if this was some completely new treasure of information.

"Plus by staying on campus you avoid running the risk of ever needing my assistance again in the near future," I added, "because unless things completely changed since I was a college undergrad, you'd have to go pretty far to attract the attention of our friends from the campus police force."

The guy's face lit up as if I'd just given him the keys to a whorehouse or something, his eagerness making me feel like I should add another sound piece of advice. "Of course staying on campus still isn't going to do anything to help against hangovers, the aftermath of drunk decision making and the amount of brain cells you're going to kill each time you go on a serious bender."

"I know," he chuckled, rubbing his forehead, the memory of the hangover that had landed him on my client list obviously still very fresh. "Plus my dad would kill me if he finds out I'm drinking again."

I chuckled to myself. His dad probably knew that asking an eighteen year old college freshman not to drink was about the same as asking a dog never to bark again. It was feasible in theory, but the probability of it ever happening in real life was slim to none.

Not that I felt the need to enlighten him, though. As far as I was concerned I'd done more than enough of that for today.

The rest of the day was spent prepping for tomorrow's cases and doing some scud on my dad's case. When I managed to broker my way into his legal team, Garrett had made it abundantly clear to me that my involvement in dad's case would be limited to office work and – maybe, if they thought they needed my 'personal experience' – sitting in on a few meetings with my dad or some of the possible witnesses.

Initially I was just happy to be on the team, thinking that maybe a closer look at the case would allow me see thing the way my mom, Uncle Eli and all the others around me were seeing it.

The truth was, though, that no amount of paper stacked on my desk had convinced me yet.

With more evidence being released to us, it was starting to get more and more clear how strong the prosecution's case against my dad really was. Closed circuit television recordings from the hallway showed Jane and my dad going into his apartment on the evening of the murder but the only other time the door to apartment building 12d opened that night was when my dad emerged; alone and visibly upset about something.

That, combined with the fact that CSI lifted no other prints than those belonging to my dad and the victim from the scene, certainly explained why the district attorney prosecuting the case had looked particularly smug on the day of my dad's bail appeal.

_They knew they had this half in the bag. _

It meant that if we wanted to get a 'reasonable doubt' in this case, we would have to work around the clock to find loopholes and come up with a different story about what happened that night.

_Which was why it would be really fucking helpful if my dad would actually start cooperating with us. _

So on Tuesday I set to work, determined to make up for last weekend's disaster by doing my best to get my dad out of prison as I manfully worked my way through witness statements, phone records and other mostly boring stuff while Jasper and Garrett were both in court defending other cases.

"Look at you!" I was shocked out of my concentration by Garrett's booming voice, my hand reaching out to catch the foil wrapped ham and cheese sandwich he threw at me right before it would crash against the window behind me. "Did you even move since we left last night?"

I chuckled. "Not that much. I've been busy."

"I can see that!" he snickered, pointing at the stacks of paperwork on my desk. "And did you find something interesting?"

I sighed. "Nothing so far."

He gave me a comforting smile. "We'll come up with something, Edward. Well get him out of this mess. Everyone who knows your dad knows he didn't do this."

I smiled wryly, wishing I shared Garrett's certainty. "Where did you leave the rest of the team?" I asked, quickly changing the topic. "I thought Jasper was with you earlier?"

"He was," Garrett snickered, "but he had a lunch date with his wife and I wasn't about to become a third wheel."

"His wife? Isn't he a bit…I don't know…_young_ to be married?" I couldn't imagine being tied down at such a young age. I mean, not that I sometimes didn't long for the companionship and regular sex a monogamous relationship would bring, but all of the responsibilities and having to take others into account? That stuff definitely wasn't for me at the moment.

"They were college sweethearts," Garrett mumbled. "You know? Love at first sight and all that crap? But his wife – Alice – is actually a great girl and totally understanding of the fact that she has to share her man with Lady Justice, which is kind of rare."

"Is that why you married three times?" I smirked.

He snorted. "That and the fact that my first two wives' combined IQ would still be bested by the average chimpanzee. But then again…they had other qualities."

And with a wink he excused himself and left me to do my work again, snickering when I thought about how Garrett had finally found his true match in Kate Hutchinson, his third wife and former star prosecutor for the King County District Attorney's office.

Sparks had flown, according to office gossip, both in and outside of the court room, causing many a bathroom grope or janitor's closet romp in between sessions until in the end Garrett finally decided to make an honest woman out of Kate and Kate left the DA's office in favor of a calmer and more family-friendly teaching job at U-Dub's law faculty.

**- x -**

I was aware of the exact moment Jasper came back from whatever romantic crap he'd been doing over lunch, his slight southern twang resonating through the building as he barked out his order. "Cullen! My office. _Now_."

Well that pretty much killed any doubt I might have been having on whether or not Tanya would even go through with her 'in-depth' article.

"What is it?" I asked, walking past him into his office – which, I noticed now, was slightly larger than mine was – and sat down with him taking the seat across from me. I knew my question was a pretty ballsy move on my side, but to hell with it. Maybe Jasper was going to yell at me for something else.

Or not.

The whites in his eyes were showing as he shot me an almost murderous glare. "You tell me!" he barked with a laugh. "I was having lunch with my wife when, out of the blue, I get a phone call from a certain miss Rosalie Hale, editor in chief of the university newspaper asking me if we had an Edward Cullen on our payroll."

I paled, shifting in my seat as I thanked the good Lord for putting a desk in between us, knowing the editor had probably called to fact-check whatever kind of crap Tanya had written about my family.

"Charming young woman," Jasper went on, "and not too shy to give some legal advice either. She told me that having the son of a client on the team working on his defense might create a very sharp conflict of interest."

He looked at me, his eyes narrowing as he went on. "I'm wondering where she might have gotten that idea, though, since your involvement in the case isn't known to anyone outside the firm."

I swallowed hard, hoping my internal panic wouldn't completely ruin my poker face. "Maybe someone spoke to the press?"

Jasper nodded. "I bet that's what happened." He paused, leaning forward across the desk. "The trouble is, though, I pretty much trust everyone working at this firm. Everyone….except for you."

I sighed, knowing that there was no way out of this mess but to come clean and hope for the best. "You know, right?"

He leaned back again; obviously pleased with the turn our conversation had taken. "I know you were the one to speak with their reporter, a miss…."

"Denali," I choked out.

"Right," he nodded, "and I know that – however stupid you may have been – you never gave them anything that could undermine your father's case or get us in trouble with the Bar Association. But what I fail to understand is why you, apparently, are so hell-bent on destroying your father's life, and the careers of everyone involved in his defense – including yours, I might add. Was he really such an asshole to you when you were young that you want to see his ass fry on the electric chair?"

I shook my head, my eyes trained to my hands in shame. "I wasn't thinking," I admitted.

"You're damn right, you weren't!" Jasper shouted, his fist slamming down on the mahogany desk. "You're damned lucky that bitch isn't working for one of the majors or you'd be out on your ass by now. I don't think Eli or Garrett or anyone else around here reads _The Daily_ anymore.

"So you're not…" I started.

"No," Jasper sighed rubbing his temple, "and you have my wife to thank for that."

Huh?

My face must have mirrored my confused state of mind even to a point where Jasper started to chuckle. "My wife's a psychologist. She told me that, with the amount of strain you're under right now, this was bound to happen one way or another. She thinks you deserve another chance."

Wow. My eyes nearly budged out of my skull with surprise. This was not how I had expected this conversation to go.

At all.

Even in my most optimistic scenario I would still be walking out of here unemployed and potentially disbarred. Not with nothing more than a verbal slap on the wrist. "What about Garrett and Eli?" I felt compelled to ask.

Jasper sighed, pulling his glasses from his face and rubbing his eyes before answering. "This is going to come back to bite me in the ass – I just know it – but I think that they are better off not knowing about all of this mess. If word got out that we have a leak within our team the prosecution would have a field day. We might as well strap your father to the chair ourselves."

"But the article…." I questioned.

Jasper smirked. "Let's just say that any references to you or any other 'inside source' that gutter rat wannabe wanted to publish won't make it to the final article."

"What did you have to do? Sell your firstborn?" I asked incredulously. I mean, not that I knew a lot about journalism – or journalists for that matter – but what I did know was that any reported worth a damn would never just walk away from a scoop.

"I just gave her some other interesting bits and pieces," Jasper shrugged. "Things that would have come out sooner or later anyway and that won't harm your father's defense when they come up in court."

"Thanks," I mumbled, still not completely sure what to think about all of this.

"I didn't do it for you," Jasper sneered. "I did it because I want to get ahead in life and this case might just help me to do that which is also why I won't hesitate to have your ass fired the next time you fuck up like this."

"It won't happen again," I replied. "Believe me, I've learned my lesson well."

"You'd better," he grumbled before turning his attention back to the papers on his desk, his body language indicating that my presence in his office would no longer be required.

Before I could leave the office, though, his voice stopped me in the doorway. "Oh and Cullen? Your presence is requested at dinner at my place tomorrow night."

I arched my brow as I looked at him, wondering if it was at all able for aliens to have taken over his mind in the few moments I wasn't looking. "What?"

He snorted. "Yeah, that's what I said…but my wife is really curious to meet the guy who got me so worked up and she's not the kind of person to take no for an answer."

"I'd better say yes then, before she shows up to drag me out of my office." I replied, accepting his offer without even realizing it until the words were out of my mouth. It wasn't just because getting back into Jasper's good books would be a smart move, work-wise or even that I could at least show up for dinner to let his wife ogle me after she saved my ass. It was something else, my gut, telling me to accept this offer. If only I knew what it was.

Jasper laughed out loud. "You know? She would totally do that!"

"Well, I'll see you around then," I chuckled, closing the door as I made my way back to my office and the ungodly stacks of paperwork waiting for me.

I had just gotten back to work when Irina Petrovsky, one of the receptionists called. "There's someone here to see you," she announced, doing that thing that makes a woman's voice sound all flirty and husky.

I frowned, trying to suppress my snort at the open – and quite desperate – invitation to sex she was giving me. "I don't have any appointments this afternoon."

I could almost see her rolling her eyes at me as she spoke next, indicating that, like a true receptionist, she was as aware of the items that filled my agenda as I was. "The girl was pretty adamant that you'd want to see her."

"Did she give a name?" I scowled, wondering how in the name of God I was going to get any work done today with people suddenly clamoring down my office.

Irina let out a little snort. "In fact she did. She told me her name was Bella. Bella Swan."

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_**Is this some more Edward/Bella interaction we see coming up? Why yes. And the good (or: even better) news is that starting now there's going to be more and more of that on the horizon. **_

_**What will their meeting be like? Will Edward be his usual 'charming' self or do you think he's learned his lesson? Will he tell her the truth about his encounter with 'the whore who shall not be named'? What about Bella? How will she act when coming face to face with the evil ex? What is she even doing there in the first place? And what did you make of Esme's reaction?**_

_**As always: reviewers get teased. ;-)**_


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. I am in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise, I just use their creations to have my wicked way with them. No copyright infringement is intended.

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_**This story wouldn't be what it is without my wonderful beta, **_**The Real Teacher**_**, holding my hand and correcting my many errors. Thank you so much!**_

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_**I'm sorry about the delay in posting. RL is getting all kinds of sucky at the moment for me and my beta has a busy life as well. That, combined with the fact that this chapter has been giving me all sorts of grief, meant that the chapter wasn't ready to be posted last week. **_

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**- 12 -**

By the time that stuck-up receptionist finally guided me through the maze of small offices I was mad as hell, which might not have been the smartest thing considering the reason I was here.

"Typical," I huffed, earning me a strange look from stuck up I'm-better-than-you-just-because-I-work-for-some-fancy-ass-law-firm receptionist with her tight skirt and her sticky sweet perfume.

I gave her my best bitch brow as I continued my rant in silence. Not that I was at all daunted by the stuck-up receptionist and her reprimanding glare – I mean, what could she do? Throw a fountain pen at my head? Call in the senior citizen that manned the security desk downstairs? Seeing as she wore one of those impossible pencil skirts she wouldn't be able to kick my ass unless she got naked. I could take her - but getting thrown out of the building before I had spoken my peace wasn't what I'd had in mind when I splurged on cab-fare to get myself all the way downtown to share information with a bunch of stuck up, overpaid losers who had so far been unwilling to hear me out.

What was it with these idiots? Didn't they want to win this case? I mean, not that I was a pro at solving crime or trying cases or anything, but if a girl walked up to your front desk, claiming to have important information about a high profile case, the least thing you could do is listen to what the hell she had to say, right?

Apparently that kind of logic didn't work on lawyers.

Seeing as my request to meet with one of the senior partners (why settle for a measly associate like Cullen when you may be able to speak to the Big Cheese himself?) had fallen flat, I'd eventually had to resign myself to doing what part of me had wanted to do since Sunday: confront Edward Cullen.

Which brought me to the second reason for my visit: I wanted answers.

For three days I had been stewing over every single damn thing Edward had said to me on Sunday night but as of yet I had failed to come up with a logical explanation. Top that with the fact that someone from this office had just threatened _The Daily_ and every single journalist affiliated with it with legal actions if they published as much as a word about precious Edward and his manwhoring, secret spilling ways and you have one pissed off journalist on your hands.

Seriously, could he have been more of a coward?

I mean, being desperate enough to screw a girl who was one pity fuck away from being called a charitable institute was one thing. Tanya was, after all, a prettyish kind of girl and I knew she was pretty damn apt at luring guys into her den of sin and all that, especially if said guy was pretty, rich and came with the prospect of a good story for the paper. But if you slept with a reporter, you'd have to accept that it may end up with seeing your name in print.

He was childish and irresponsible and even thinking about him was royally pissing me off.

_What was I doing here again?_

I huffed, my subconscious reminding me of what I'd discovered and how that had made me feel. I knew when I'd come across the article on the Volturi that I'd made a huge discovery, one that would attract the attention of major newspapers and that could possibly make my career. I also knew that it could clear an innocent man's name and reputation and that – it seemed – was still more important to me than my own fame and fortune. Though honestly, I wasn't so sure whether I should be happy about that or lament the fact that – according to Rose – I was way to scrupulous to make it as a big-time reporter.

Scrupulous? Try fucking masochistic.

As I tried to keep up with the stuck-up receptionist the memories of last night's dream started to assault my brain again, making my skin break out in goose bumps at the memory of green eyes and long fingers and a dick that deserved an Olympic medal.

Nooooo. Not good!

Really? What the hell was wrong with me? It was like the minute my mind was made up to forget Edward Cullen ever existed; my body had jumped in with desperate measures that would make sure I'd remember. For the last couple of nights, my dreams had been filled with Edward and the nicer memories of what it had been like to be his girlfriend but – most of all – all the stuff I'd never even dared to dream about.

And what was even worse: those memories were starting to screw up my plans to hate him forever. Which left me pissed off, confused, frustrated as hell and in need of a cigarette every damn morning when I woke up. _Which was stupid because I'd never smoked a fucking fag in my life!_

I groaned, resisting the urge to slam my head against one of the glass walls separating the offices from the huge open plans pace that housed the firms supporting staff. _I so needed to get laid. _A good boinkfest would get my mind out of the gutter and far away from Edward Cullen and his dangerously good-looking yet completely annoying self.

_I repeat: what was I doing here again?_

I should have been out there, trolling bars and other public places in search of some hot guy I could have steamy, anonymous and completely uncomplicated sex with. Not get stuck in here trying to be a Good Samaritan and share information I was under no obligation to share.

"He's through here," the stuck-up receptionist snapped, shooting me another one of her death glares as I walked past her into a spacious and opulently furnished yet completely generic office.

"Thanks." I snorted, keeping my eyes on my feet as I half expected her to stick out one of those high heels of hers and trip me.

I looked up as soon as I'd cleared the threshold, my eyes almost blinded by the light streaming into the office from the floor-to-ceiling windows that covered the outer wall of the office. Seated in front of them, his pose the essence of 'laidback and relaxed' (though he wasn't quite fooling me since I could see the tension in his face) was Edward Cullen.

"Do you need anything, Mr. Cullen?" the stuck-up receptionist lisped, leaning against the door frame in what was probably meant to be a seductive pose but in the end just looked like she needed to pee really bad.

I had to fight to keep myself from snorting. _Man was she laying it on thick! Really girl, didn't your momma tell you that 'desperate' is never a good look on a woman?_

Edward must have been thinking along the same lines as I had because he arched his brow at me, his eyes shining with humor before turning back to serious again. "I'll be fine, Irina."

The woman even had the nerve to look disappointed. What did she expect him to say? _'Well Irina, if it's not too much trouble I'd like you to give me a blowjob under the table?' _

"Well, if you change your mind," Irina, otherwise known as the stuck-up receptionist, purred. "I'm only a phone call away."

With a herculean effort I managed to contain my snort until Irina had closed the door. "Dear God, Edward!" I giggled, the absurdity of the situation making me forget my anger for the moment. "You have _that_ sitting at a desk around here and still you end up screwing Tanya? What the hell is wrong with you?"

Edward's eyes narrowed, the fun of this situation obviously evading him. "I didn't screw Tanya and I'm certainly not interested in screwing any of the staff over here," he replied sullenly.

"Poor woman," I managed to gasp in between fits of giggles. "She will be so disappointed to hear that….not that I believe you, by the way."

Edward's eyebrows flew up to his hairline. "Why the hell not?"

Now it was my turn to start looking annoyed, my laughter coming to an immediate halt when I found out he was serious. "Are you kidding me?"

The look on his face told me he wasn't.

"I caught you coming out of Tanya's place looking all disheveled and post-coital for starters," I explained, "and even if – as you said – you were only there to enjoy an intelligent conversation – which I doubt because there are many words to describe Tanya but intelligent sure as hell isn't one of them - then you and Tanya should have gotten your stories straight, buddy, since she keeps on bragging all over _The Daily_ about how she was all on up in your business."

Edward shrugged, his face betraying his annoyance. "She's lying."

"Then why the hell did we have your lawyer buddies breathing down our neck all day, threatening to sue us if we as much as hinted at your involvement in Tanya's article?" I scowled. "I mean, not that I'm the one to judge about grownup behavior or anything, but that's pretty damn childish."

"Look," he interrupted, before I could call him out on his behavior some more. "Threatening your paper with a lawsuit wasn't my idea….not that I would have acted any different."

He sighed, running his hand through his deliciously tousled hair. "I screwed up – it's plain and simple – and now Jasper has to pick up the pieces before this shit comes out and ruins what little chance we have of getting my dad out of this mess."

I arched one brow as I let out a small snort. "You always let your work buddies do your bidding for you?"

He shook his head. "This isn't about _me_. Believe me when I say that if it were just about my public image – or virtue…." He shot a very pointed look my way which, much to my own mortification made my cheeks break out in a blush. "…Jasper would have let Tanya hang me out to dry and stood by to point and laugh at me. We're not exactly besties, you see."

"Then what the hell is this all about?" I challenged him.

He looked at me as if I'd lost my mind. "The firm. My dad's case. Mom….."

"Right," I nodded, feeling rather stupid for not thinking about that myself.

"Not that I don't deserve to be publicly disgraced for my actions, though," Edward sighed, his face suddenly looking so much older as regret, shame and weariness expelled the boyish confidence.

I felt sorry for him, my heart clenching at the sight of him looking so sad and tired. These last couple of weeks must have been hell for him and his family. I might not have cared much for him – and that was putting it lightly – but deep down inside there were still the memories of who he used to be before he broke my heart. He used to be my whole world and, though I wanted nothing more than to move on and forget I ever knew him, I couldn't.

Make no mistake: I still hated him for all of the pain he'd caused me – all of the pain he was still causing me – but unlike him I couldn't be so cruel as to gloat at another person's misfortune.

I was better than that.

"Don't sweat it," I shrugged, tying in my own way to help out. "It's not like you didn't do something that half of the male population of this damned town isn't equally guilty of. Let's face it, Tanya puts the 't' in trollop."

My plan worked, since it made him forget his sorrows for a slightest moment as he laughed freely, the beauty of his face almost dazzling me into forgetting our shared history.

Almost.

"I hope you covered your shit up, though," I added, pouring as much snark into my voice as I could muster to counteract the warm fuzzy feeling that threatened to take hold of me. "Who knows what kind of evil may have been lurking in that 'cave of doom'."

Edward didn't seem to enjoy my sense of humor, though. "For the last time: I did not have sex with that woman!" he grumbled, looking all kinds of pissed off. _And hot._

I snorted. "How very Clintonesque of you."

"Look!" he growled, his hands rubbing his temples no doubt to alleviate the headache his many lies were causing him. "Had circumstances been different, you would have had every opportunity to berate me, but seeing as it is, you're just going to have to believe me on my word."

Had circumstances been different? I frowned. What the hell? What had he expected to happen? Choirboys singing Marvin Gaye classics while he got down and dirty? The opening of the heavens? A personal coach on standby telling him where to put it?

I looked back at Edward, seeing him fumble with his expensive fountain pen, looking all kinds of flustered and embarrassed. Which was when another thought occurred to me.

_Oh._

Well, that would explain both Edward and Tanya's reaction, even if I was still waiting for a vocal confirmation from Edward's side.

"So, you couldn't get it up?" I answered for him, being a Good Samaritan and all. _Edward 'screw me' Cullen had an erectile dysfunction? Damn, there go my dreams of having mindblowing sex with him._

He apparently, disagreed with my definition of Samaritanism. "I. Was. Drunk." He grumbled, his voice all deep and angry….._and sexy_.

"Okay," I shrugged. "So that must have been awkward as hell."

"You mean more so than this conversation?" he smirked.

I chuckled. "Come on! Isn't 'failure to launch' the worst nightmare for every guy?"

"Maybe," Edward sighed, his freakishly long and strangely sexy fingers rubbing the skin above his brows, "but as far as I'm concerned waking up next to a newspaper reporter and having no fucking clue about what happened and what kind of secrets you may have accidentally spilled is far worse."

I shook my head, trying my best not to laugh at him. "So let me get this straight: Tanya somehow managed to bump into you while you were hanging around a bar, drunk as a skunk and looking for some ass?"

He sighed. "I guess."

"Damn!" I muttered. "She's good." I hated to admit it and I sure as hell would never sink as low as her, but I had to acknowledge that her instincts were pretty amazing. I mean, to pick the right bar out of all the gin joints in town….

"I beg to differ!" Edward huffed. "I was drunk as a skunk. I think I would have followed Betty White home for a good screw fest if she would have asked me nicely."

"Wha-?" I managed to wheeze before erupting into laughter.

He just shrugged, the lights in his eyes dancing again as he looked at me. "And it's not like it's the first time I acted without thinking."

I rolled my eyes at him. "Tell me something I don't know! You always did have a lousy self control."

He sighed. "It seems I still have." His lips pulled into a wry smile as his fingers let go of the fountain pen, his long fingers – who'd had a starring role in my very x-rated dream (well, more of a nightmare, actually) about him last night – rubbing the polished wood surface of his desk. _Damn you Edward Cullen! Get out of my head!_

After a fleeting moment he pulled his arms back towards his body, his hands folding as if in prayer as he looked at me, his eyes dancing with mischief. "Did you really travel all the way down here just to yell at me? I feel so special."

I blushed_. If only he knew how he played a starring role in my dirty little fantasies he _would _feel special._ "It wasn't the only purpose of my visit."

Edward sat back, his eyes taxing me. "I'm all ears."

I blushed, uncomfortable under his gaze, as I distracted myself by rifling through my bag for the stuff I'd printed out. "You know I'm covering your father's case for _The Daily_, right?"

He nodded, an impatient hand gesture urging me to go on. "When I was looking through a couple of pictures of the murder victim the other day, someone told me her tattoo seemed rather familiar and….well….I think you should take a look at this." I slid a stack of papers, containing photocopies of the stuff I'd found thus far across the table.

As he perused the documents, Edward's eyes shifted from the paper to me before staring out in front of him incredulously. "Bella…this stuff…. This is huge!"

"I know," I muttered, "which is why I thought you guys needed to see this." The decision to clue Carlisle's defense team in on my find had been made almost as soon as I'd started reading the article. If what the writer of it was saying was true then it could put this case in a whole different light.

A shade of light that might put Carlisle in the clear.

"Would you mind if I called in my colleague on this one?" Edward asked cautiously. "I only play a marginal role in my dad's defense for obvious reasons. It's Jasper who does most of the work on his defense."

I frowned. "I thought your dad's defense lawyer is called Garrett something?"

"Garrett Masen," Edward corrected me. "Jasper's his second chair."

I shrugged. "The more the merrier." Though seeing as I'd recognized the name from Rose's rant the minute he dropped it, I somehow doubted this was going to be a merry conversation.

Shortly after Edward had made his call, a handsome man in a slate-grey suit showed up, his ruggedly handsome face and shoulder length hair making him look like he'd wandered straight out of a _Cool Water_ commercial. _Seriously, was there some kind of pretty-boy law school I never heard of? Where did they find these guys?_

"Jasper Whitlock," Edward announced, waving at the beautiful, stuck up lawyer who'd just entered, "this is Bella Swan. She writes for _The Daily_."

I let out a small snort as I thought how Jasper Whitlock sounded way too rustic for the man standing in front of me. He looked more like Courtroom Ken.

"So you're the asshole who threatened my editor?" I snorted, pouring every bit of fake friendliness I could muster into my voice. If only Rose had known that this was the guy who'd been all on up in our business, she would never had budged.

Rose didn't bow to suits.

"Then you must be the bitch who tried to sell out my colleague for a scoop," he quipped, his slight Southern twang and husky county boy voice clashing with the rest of his appearance. Apparently Courtroom Ken had a pair of balls hidden somewhere in those pressed woolen trousers of his.

"Jasper!" Edward snarled, immediately jumping to my defense.

"Back off, Edward," I warned him. "I'm a big girl now. I can fight my own battles."

I continued only when I knew he'd calmed the fuck down again, my eyes shifting from Edward to courtroom Ken. "Really?" I jested, pointing at what was supposed to be my cleavage if I'd ever grown boobs. "Do these boobs look big enough to set up a honey trap with?"

Courtroom Ken shrugged, his smile telling me he accepted my explanation but remained skeptical. "So if you're not that bitch, then who the hell are you?"

"I'm the bitch who's going to help you out with your investigations."

Well that got him to finally shut up. "So what have you got?" he asked, suddenly all business as he took a seat next to Edward, across from me.

Edward pushed the stack of papers out to him. "Believe me. You want to know this."

As courtroom Ken read through the papers, his face betrayed exactly what he was reading and even if it hadn't, there was a constant stream of questions sent my way. "How did you get this picture?" he asked, holding up the one Alec had send me.

"I had an interview with Alec Foster last Friday," I explained. "He sent that one, along with a few others, to go along with my article."

"Hmm," Jasper nodded his eyes travelling further down the page. 'And your source on the tattoo?"

"William Black, a retired police officer," I answered, blushing and more than a little wary as I added, "and my boyfriend's father."

I tried to reprimand my ovaries as they tried to start a conga line at the sight of Edward, jaw tense and hands clenched in fists. _He was jealous_.

Not that that was any of my concern.

"This article," Jasper continued, holding up my most recent find. "Where did you find it?"

"_LexisNexis_," I shrugged. "I know it's old, but if even half of what this guy writes is true….."

"Did you cross check?"

"Against what?" I shrugged. "If the Volturi really are the kind of mob-like organization this guy writes about, I somehow doubt you're going to find anything else on them except for wild speculation."

"And the writer?"

"Dead. Folded his car around a tree about a year or so after the article was published." I nodded as Jasper arched his brow. The accident seeming a little too convenient in the light this article portrayed the Volturi.

"Thanks for sharing this with us," Jasper spoke, his hand patting the surface of the copies I'd given them. "I know not every journalist would have been as…scrupulous as you are and it is much appreciated."

I shrugged. "It was the least I could do for Carlisle."

He frowned. "You know Carlisle?"

I snickered. "Didn't Edward tell you he and I grew up together?"

Edward blushed. "I was getting too that."

"Then I'll leave you guys to it," I snickered. "I've got a lot on my plate now that Tanya's article needs to be rewritten and Tanya got sacked for her extracurricular activities with a certain lawyer who, to avoid being dragged into court on a 'defamation' charge, shall remain unnamed."

Jasper had the audacity to smile smugly as he wished me good luck. I had a feeling he and I would cross swords again, sometime during this trial.

Edward walked me to the elevators, Irina's crestfallen appearance as we walked past her side by side not escaping my notice. "Thanks for hearing me out, Edward," I said as we waited in front of the elevator. "I half expected you to laugh at me."

"I would never laugh at you, Bella. I know I've made mistakes in the past…" he let out a deprecating snort as he shook his head, "…and in the present, but if there's one thing I've learned from the past couple of days, it is that I should know when to shut up, listen and learn, instead of blindly follow my own base instincts." The intensity of his gaze took me by surprise, the familiar feeling of being locked under the spell of those vibrant green eyes creating a scorching trail of fire on my skin.

I swallowed hard, averting my eyes as I fought the onslaught of my emotions while he went on. "I know it would be foolish of me to ask to be your friend. But Bella…." I looked up , the locking of our eyes seeming to trigger some weird kind of energy radiating from his body to mine and from mine back to his.

It made me want to scream.

I hated the way he still had a hold over my body, even though my mind was resisting him hand and foot. But still, try as I might, I couldn't be a bitch to him. My mother – the same woman he continuously called a whore – had raised me better than that.

And so I nodded, motioning impatiently for him to continue.

"Do you think we could at least be allies?"

And just like that the energy was gone, leaving only anger in its wake. "Why the hell would I do that when a few days ago you were calling my mother a whore and me a traitor and a bitch? And I haven't even started about what happened ten years ago….." My voice trailed off as I glared at him.

"I guess I deserved that." His lips pulled into a small smile as he took a small step backwards, allowing me my space. "There's nothing I can say or do that can make up for the things I said to you the other night. It was beneath me and I regretted saying those things almost the second I calmed down again."

He took a deep breath, running his hand through his already thoroughly messed up hair. "I know you don't trust me and that you have every reason to want to keep your distance, but do you think you can trust in the integrity of this firm? For my dad's sake?"

I knew what he was asking and, considering the course of actions that had brought us here, it might have been a logical step. I knew stuff they didn't and - as a journalist – I could go places and speak to people that a defense team might have trouble getting into. I also knew that he was asking me something that would have me end up unemployed in the long run. "What are you asking me to do, Edward?" I asked, my annoyance seeping back into my voice. "Compromise my sources? Pre-disclose every damn find so that you can take the credit for it? What the hell do you take me for?"

He groaned, clenching his eyes shut in frustration, though I had a feeling that his resentment wasn't directed at me. Not this time, at least. "You misunderstand," he finally muttered. "I'm not asking you to compromise your integrity as a journalist. I'm just….what I'm trying to ask you is whether or not you would be willing to share information with us again if you find something as significant as those photographs. In your own time, of course….."

The loud 'ding' of the elevator made both of us jump, the indecision hanging in the air as we both scrambled to gain our self control.

Allies.

I tasted the word on my tongue, carefully weighing the pros and cons of allowing him to come close enough to hurt me all over again.

Could I do it?

I knew the answer ever before I'd finished my thought, my lips pulling into a smile as I looked at him. "Okay," I spoke, as the elevator doors started to close because I had an obligation, not just to the paper but also to myself as a decent human being.

The last thing I could see before my own distorted reflection shone back at me from the metal doors was his face pulling into a huge grin.

I had a feeling I would be seeing that same grin again this night.

_In my dreams. _

**- x -**

I bumped into Ben the next morning as I dragged my tired body out of my room. Who knew having hot steamy sex dreams with your new 'ally' could be so tiring?

He was busying himself in the kitchen, a stack of pancakes on the counter next to him as he squeezed the hell out of a bunch of oranges.

"Big plans?" I asked, as I tried to stealthily steal a pancake.

"Anniversary." Ben beamed, pushing a box of icing sugar in my direction.

"Right, I should have remembered." I smiled, recalling how, four years ago, Angela had showed up late for dinner with Rose and me, her face all flushed and her eyes shining. "Want me to make myself scarce tonight?" It had been love at first sight. Angela – scatterbrained little nerd that she was – had gotten lost around campus and Ben had been there to help her out. When he'd safely delivered her in front of the main entrance of Smith Hall he'd asked her out and Angela accepted. They'd been an item ever since.

Ben chuckled. "You don't have to. I'm taking Angela out for dinner tonight but the big celebration is going to be a surprise trip to Victoria this weekend."

"Charmer!" I teased.

Ben tried to throw a squeezed out orange rind at my head but, since living with Ben and Angela for the better part of a year had made me an expert in ducking at the right time, it flew over my head and landed against the wall with a loud 'splat'.

"You're just jealous!" he huffed as he poured his freshly squeezed juice into two glasses.

I sighed. The guy had a point. All I got from Jake last year was a phone call and two tickets to see the Huskies game with him even though Jake knew I hated all forms of sports with a passion.

Living with two sports fanatics – Charlie and Jake – did that to you.

If I'd have a dollar for every time I'd come second to some gang of arrogant, overpaid jocks I'd have been able to _buy_ the damned Huskies by now.

Nope.

No bitterness at all.

"Hey Ben," I asked, putting my brain back in a business frame of mind. "You hang out at the department of medicine a lot, don't you?"

I'd been mulling over my findings all yesterday evening, arranging what I knew and what I still needed to find out in order to write a halfway decent article about it. I had a gut feeling the Volturi were somehow involved in the Jane Foster murder case but seeing as I knew next to nothing about the Volturi, other than the few bits and pieces I managed to pull from an article that was more than fifty years old, I knew I needed to do an awful lot of digging before I could start writing. The medical faculty seemed like the most logical way to start, seeing as that was the place the Volturi originated from, according to the article. If the Volturi were still alive today, there were bound to be people around there who could tell me more about them.

"Yeah," Ben shrugged, "I _am_ majoring in Biochemistry after all."

"I knew that," I huffed, rolling my eyes at him. "Have you ever heard of a fraternity called _The Volturi_?"

Ben frowned. "It sounds familiar…..now that you mention it, I think I heard Eric mention it once or twice."

"Eric?" I fished.

"Eric Yorkie," Ben explained, "Smart guy but a complete windbag if you ask me. He seems to think that just because his dad's got money in the bank and he belongs to some sort of elitist fraternity his career is as good as made. Why are you asking?"

"Something for the paper," I shrugged. "Do you know how I could get into contact with him?"

"Drop by the lab this afternoon and I'll introduce you to him," Ben smiled as he carefully lifted the breakfast tray. "We're supposed to be working on a project together…that is, if he shows up for a change."

I spent the rest of the morning impatiently waiting for my classes the finish so that I could go over to the bioengineering lab to find out if this Eric Yorkie guy really knew more about the Volturi.

"Earth to Bella!" Rose grinned, nudging me to keep my attention focus on the seminar we were attending. I'd already been called to order once, next time and I'd be in serious trouble. "You'd better not be fantasizing about Fido right now."

"Why the hell would I be?" I whispered back. "And even if I did, I caught you and Emmett in the act more times than I care to remember but do you hear me bitching you out about it?"

I chuckled when Rose blushed, no doubt remembering how I'd caught her and Emmett getting all hot and heavy on the kitchen counter, minutes before I was supposed to start cooking dinner. "And I wasn't thinking about Jake, anyway. He and I kind of broke up."

"Really?" Rose's eyes lit up. "That's great news! You have to tell me all about that after this damned class ends. But of you weren't thinking about the mutt, then what the hell were you thinking about?"

"I've got a lead on the tattoo," I explained.

"You mean the one you were so eager to share with the evil ex," Rose huffed. She had been furious when she found out I'd shared my scoop with Carlisle's defense team. If it had been up to her, they could have found out along with the rest of the world, when the article about the similarities in the Jane Foster and Bree Tanner murder cases would go into print tomorrow.

"Yes, that one." I rolled my eyes at Rose, who reacted by giving me another nudge to the side. "I'm meeting this guy later on who may be able to tell me more about the Volturi."

"Keep me posted," Rose nodded, just as professor Banner concluded his seminar for the day. "And Bella?"

"Yeah?" I looked up from shoving my books into my bag.

Rose's face looked strange, her normally so composed features laced with worry. "Be careful, babe. From the sound of it, these Volturi guys are some pretty shady characters. I don't want you ending up like your predecessor."

I took her advice to heart, though really I didn't need it.

**- x -**

"Hey Ben!" I tried to make my voice as cheerful as I could; something that wasn't all too hard considering the adrenaline that was pulsing through my system.

Ben smiled conspiratorially as he rose to greet me. "Hey Bella! Fancy seeing you here!" Fortunately the guy sitting next to him was too distracted by the two blondes at the counter to pay attention because Ben might have been talented in the field of biochemistry, a great actor he was not. "Have you met Eric?"

The guy looked up at the mention of his name, though not far enough to reach my eyes. "Hey there, Eric." I was quite proud of myself for managing all those words without laughing. _Keep staring, you idiot. There's nothing to see there._

"Hey," he nodded without even showing me the decency of a slightly embarrassed blush. "You friends with Ben?"

"Roommates," I nodded.

"So what brings you here?" Eric asked, leaning slightly forward in my direction, "since it's pretty obvious you're not into Biochemistry."

"I don't have that exact-science look about me, huh?" I joked_. Seriously. Is this guy trying to come on to me? _

"Not really," he grinned, flashing a perfectly straight and white row of teeth. "You're too pretty to be stuck in a lab."

_Oh. My. God. Did this guy seriously expect me to swoon now? _"You're right," I admitted, pulling off an almost superhuman stunt by keeping a straight face. "I'm a journalism major. I'm actually here because I wanted to ask Ben about something that came up in my research."

Ben looked on in awe as I deftly steered that sucker in the right direction, though I had to admit that using my feminine charm – though fun – made me feel slightly sordid and so…_Tanya._

Eric, on the other hand, was nearly drooling at the prospect of ingratiating himself to me. "Can I help?" he asked eagerly, looking more like an over-eager Golden Retriever puppy than a serious human being.

"Maybe," I mused. "It's about some kind of fraternity…."

"What's it called?" Eric panted. "I mean….I'm no expert on student life, but I do like to mingle, if you know what I mean."

The suggestive way in which he waggled his eyebrows made me throw up in my mouth a little. I scrapped my throat, hoping it would keep me from – very unprofessionally – throwing up all over my source. "They are called the Volturi. Have you ever heard of them?"

Well that got him to clam up faster than a speeding bullet. "The V-V-Volturi?" he stammered, the poor boy looking almost frightened, his eyes shooting off in every direction as if to check for hit men lying in wait to shoot him the minute he told too much. "N-never heard of them."

"Are you sure?" I pressed, noticing how quiet it had gotten all around me all of a sudden.

"V-very," he stammered. "Look, I have to go. Sorry I couldn't help you."

And just like that he was off, in a cartoonlike way that had me half expecting to see dust and tumbleweeds following his wake. "Well, that went well," I snorted, sipping my untouched mocha latte.

"Better luck next time," Ben tried to cheer me up.

I wish I had his optimism because I was pretty sure that this was the last I'd ever see of Eric Yorkie.

I shouldn't have pushed him. He might have revealed more of I'd been less direct.

When I got back to the newsroom I was still more than a little bummed about my lack of progress this afternoon. I knew Eric had been hiding something from me and that – whatever it was that he was hiding – he'd been scared to talk, which fitted the image I got from the article about the Volturi being this mafiose kind of organization. _They must have had their own form of Omerta._

I also knew that Eric Yorkie was my best shot at getting to the heart of this matter but with him clamming up every time I asked a serious question I knew this could take time.

Time I didn't have with Rosalie breathing down my neck.

I let out a deep sigh, shutting down my computer for the day without getting any work done; ruefully accepting the fact that today would be a complete failure when it came to journalism.

It seemed fate had other plans, though.

Because when I got home later night, there was a single sheet of white paper in my mailbox, the generic typed letters sitting in the middle of it making my heart speed up to twice its usual rate.

_Hamilton viewpoint at 11 PM. Come alone._

Bingo.

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_**Who do you think send the letter? Do you think Bella will go and meet this anonymous person? How surprised were you when Edward and Bella managed to sit in a room for an extended period of time without coming to blows (get your mind out of the gutter, I didn't mean it like that). Do you think their alliance will last?**_

_**Follow me on twitter for updates on my updates, the sounds or pictures that inspired me when I was writing and other random musings. I'm **_**missbaby25**_** over there.**_

_**As always: reviewers will get teased. **_


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. I am in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise, I just use their creations to have my wicked way with them. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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_**When my beta send me back her edits on the last chapter, she asked me if I could write a little something that would give her a peek into the enemy's kitchen. I hadn't even thought about doing that before but I really liked the idea (and wrote this whole thing in a matter of a couple of hours). So here it is, dedicated to my wonderful beta **_**The Real Teacher. **_**This story wouldn't be the same without her. **_

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_**PLEASE NOTE: this chapter is written in the point of view of a man who I can only describe as 'despicable'. His thoughts and actions will reflect that, though there will be no direct violence featured in this chapter. **_

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**- 13 -**

"We need to talk." As long as I'd known him – and that was going on twenty years now – I had never known Caius to veil his sentences with flattery or even a kind note to his voice. He always spoke as he saw and, within my circle, he was the only one who managed to get away with it.

For now.

Still, as I rubbed the rough edges of my goatee I couldn't help but feel vexed. "Could this not have waited until tonight? You know how much I resent being interrupted in the course of my workday."

There were no apologies, but then again, I hardly expected otherwise from him. "The Swan girl is getting closer and closer," he whispered, cautious of being overheard in the small observation room above the main operating room.

"Not here," I barked, motioning for him to follow me out of the room and into the network of hallways and corridors leading to my office.

I only spoke again when I was sure the door was locked behind us and the blinds were closed. It may not have been out of the ordinary for the Dean of Medical Studies to visit the Chief of Staff at a hospital that trained a lot of his students, the subject matter we were about to discuss was.

And I would prefer to keep it a secret.

"Let me get this straight," I spoke, settling into my chair as I gazed at him. "You dragged me out of a very interesting medical procedure to discuss a lowly college reporter? Have you lost your mind?"

His eyes never showed a reaction to the jibe. "She's more than that and you know it. She needs to be dealt with."

I couldn't fully suppress a smile. "Oh really?" The man was anything if not predictable. Whenever he saw a threat he wanted it out of the way, no matter how valuable said threat might turn out to be.

"Yes," he barked, my amusement clearly causing his hackles to rise. "One of my _custodes _called to say she'd walked up to him in a cafeteria full of students and started asking questions about the Volturi."

"Is that so?" I mused. I had to admit I was starting like the Swan girl more and more. She had brass, that one, and though that might not be a good thing as far as the Volturi were concerned, it was a pleasure to see such a concentration of intelligence and courage in one so young.

Caius obviously took my wonder to mean that I was onboard with his little plan. "We cannot endanger the guard by allowing her to find out more than we care to reveal. We're already taking a huge risk by allowing Cullen to live and …"

"Enough!" I turned around to see my words had had the desired effect. The frightened look on his face and recoil in his demeanor almost making me forget my anger. _It was satisfying to know that underneath all that pompous confidence the man I'd come to know as Caius still knew his place._

I took a few steadying breaths, making sure no traces of my vexation or amusement were present in my voice when I continued. "The last time I checked I was still _Dominus et Deus_ when it came to the rule of my guard. If I wanted your opinion I would have sought you out and asked you for it."

"Be that as it may," Caius persisted. "I still think caution should be observed." _Did the man really have no survival instincts at all?_

I leaned back again, gazing at him with a blank stare that had been perfected over years of practice. "And what do you suggest?"

"Kill her." He shrugged. "We could be fast and make it look like an accident or – if we can balance the risk of exposure against the possible benefits – we might even be able to swing this so we can get Cullen in the frame."

I chuckled at his enthusiasm. "Don't you think the premeditated murder charge will be more than enough to do the trick?"

He smirked back at me. "Can one ever be too thorough?"

He was a cruel and calculative man, one who wouldn't hesitate to send his own son to the block if he thought that doing so would benefit the so called 'greater good' – or better said: his greater good. In all those years I'd known the man to be calm to an almost disconcerting degree, in complete command of himself and those who answered to him and cautious almost to a fault.

It was a valuable trait in one's second in command.

In fact, I would ever go so far as to say that it was men like him who had made sure our secret had been kept for as long as it had.

Don't worry, my dear friend," I soothed. "The girl is nothing but a pesky little insect that can be crushed with no amount of exertion at all when the time is ripe."

"Just make sure the insect won't be able to sting before it can be crushed," Caius warned me, his impenetrable gaze fixed on me. "I would hate to see her poison the work we have toiled years to achieve."

"Do not worry yourself," I answered, though it was as much in warning as it was in comfort that I spoke the words. "I have this all under control."

I turned my chair to look out of the window as I heard the door click back into its lock. My fake confidence might have been able to get my _princeps_ off my back but I was a long way off from soothing my own worries about the turn of events that had taken place.

This Bella Swan girl was turning into a thorn in my side and – had I not been so personally interested in the strange little brown-haired girl – I would probably be on the phone right now, ordering her termination.

Being as it was, I had to settle for second best. The Swan girl represented too great a value to be done away with.

No, the plans I had for her were solid and would benefit the Volturi far more than a fast solution ever could.

"_Dominus_?" I was shocked out of my revengeful meditations when a knock on the door was followed by a severe intrusion of my peace. "Are you alright?"

Heidi gazed at me with worried eyes. "I just saw Caius storm out of here with a look on his face that promised trouble and…."

"Are you out of your mind?" I barked at her, sending her stumbling into the door-post. "First you barge into this room like a stampeding buffalo and then you proceed to address me with a title that should only be used behind closed doors. And I haven't even started about your lack of appropriate attire!"

"I-I…I didn't t-t-think," she stammered, a trembling hand pushing the door into its lock after a hand gesture from me commanded her to.

"No, it was clear you didn't," I sneered. "I thought your close friendship with Jane would make you mindful of what happens to young women who 'don't think'."

"I-I…' she started.

"Or is that something you like, Heidi?"I went on, quite liking this little game of power play. "Is punishment somehow a source of pleasure for you?"

"N-no sir," she gasped, looking more pitiful than desirable at that moment.

But I knew better than to judge a woman by the thin veneer of outward appearances. Underneath the surface this girl was rotten through and through.

I should have known better to allow a girl like her to advance beyond her expectations.

It wasn't often that the Volturi brought people into their circle that didn't belong to the uppermost layers of society. Our way of life dictated a certain class and attitude that wasn't often encountered in the lower regions of society. And besides, the chances that someone whom was born into a working class environment could ever bring something to the table that might benefit us were very slim.

Whenever an exception was made, nine times out of ten it would be for a female. Most of the times it was a very beautiful young woman who had caught the eye of one or more of the guards and who would be happy to service the men in exchange for all the social and financial benefits her new position would bestow upon her.

As for the other two times….Well, we needed people to do the work none of us would dirty our hands with.

When I'd chosen her out of all the girls willing to fill the spot to be my personal _famula_ I'd done so in the hope that she would value the honor bestowed upon her and prove to be a loyal and trustworthy attendant. However, as of late I'd detected a conceitedness and arrogance in her that greatly displeased me.

It was about time the girl learned a lesson on humility.

"I will not stand for disrespect," I barked.

"I'm sorry, _dominus_," she muttered, all color leaving her face as she realize the gravity of her most recent slip of the tongue. "I didn't mean to be disrespectful…."

I could still see the artificiality in her demeanor. The girl might have said she was sorry but inwardly she was far from remorseful. She was testing the borders.

Well, tonight she would find out how much trouble that behavior had gotten her into.

Tonight she would be taught a hard lesson in humility.

I smiled, feeling the front of my trousers grow tighter as I thought about how she would be passed around my guard, serving each and every one of them as she would start to realize that she had lost her position as my chosen one. Slowly the light of arrogance would die out in her eyes and be replaced with that combination of shame, fear and humility that I looked for in all my guards.

Girls could be replaced but respect…..Respect was indispensible.

Even if it meant I would soon be on the lookout for another _famula_. I wondered if the Swan girl might be tamed in time to serve my needs…

Looking up I was almost surprised to see Heidi still waiting for me to dismiss her, her eyes averted to the floor and her hands folded in front of her torso as she'd been taught.

"You will wait for me in my personal chambers at seven where you will show me how grateful you are to be in the position I elected you into before we go down to attend the ceremony."

A slight incline of her head told me she'd understood the message.

All the better.

The added bonus of seeing my former attendant cut down to size was making me look forward to the evening ahead of me. Initiation rites like the one taking place tonight had gotten so tiresome over the years but the prospect of giving Heidi a surprise she would not lightly forget made this one stand out amidst the long string of similar rites I'd attended over the year.

After all, how many times can one watch an orgy before everything starts looking mundane and slightly ridiculous? It served its purpose, though. And that was all that mattered.

"That will be all," I spoke, making sure to measure my tone in a way that would leave no room for interpretation.

She hung her head in reverence, the tension creeping into her posture communicating that she got the message. "Yes, _Dominus_."

"And make sure we will not be disturbed," I added as she scrambled to get out of the door. "I may have been willing to overlook this indiscretion for now but another faux pass will see you flying down the hospital's incinerator shoot before you have time to come up with an apology.

There was no way I could make good on my threat – the risk of detection far outweighed the benefits of being rid of Heidi's incompetent self – but, judging by the way the poor woman practically flew out of the office, she had not yet come to that same conclusion.

I chuckled, once more turning my attention to my current task at hand.

The Swan girl.

And so – with a deep breath to cleanse myself of all the base human emotions that were coursing through my body, I dug around in my desk drawer, trying to find another one of the many pre-paid telephones that allowed me to communicate with my soldiers without having to worry about tiresome dangers like the police listening in.

"Dominus?" a husky woman's voice breathed, answering my call after only the first ring. _Now that was what I called a soldier worthy to serve in the Volturi guard. _

"I am so sorry to interrupt you, my dear _questitor_," I answered. "But there is a matter that needs our urgent attention."

As I proceeded to explain to her what needed to be done and how I would prefer for her to see to it, she never as much as raised her voice in protest or made any other of the sounds of shock and horror I so often encountered when giving an order to one of my subordinates.

No, not she.

My little _questitor_ and her husband had been quite recent additions to my guard but already they were proving to be of immeasurable value. Where others sometimes seemed to linger only because we gave them no choice, they actually seemed to enjoy the meetings and all the benefits that came with a Volturi membership.

"I will see it done, Dominus," she stated solemnly when I finished telling her about her new assignment. "You will be proud of me."

"I have no doubt of it," I smiled, "though I will be sad to see you absent from tonight's event." In lieu of a _famula_ to service my needs I had been briefly toying with the idea of enlisting her services as an impromptu _meretrix_. _But alas, that wasn't to be. _

"Keep me informed of your progress throughout the night," I warned her. "If need be I will step in myself to see this matter properly addressed."

"Of course," she answered before I took my leave of her and broke the connection.

A satisfied smile crept onto my face as I turned around, studying the foggy skies and the faint outlines of Seattle landmarks looming up from inside them.

It was about time the Swan girl learned not to meddle in powers way beyond her comprehension.

The sooner that lesson would register, the sooner she'd be ripe for the plucking.

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_**I'd love to hear everyone's thoughts on this little chapter. I hope **_**Dominus**_** didn't gross you out too badly. Reviewers will get another (tiny) teaser for chapter 14. **_

_**Have a lovely weekend everyone!**_

_**Miss Baby**_


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. I am in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise, I just use their creations to have my wicked way with them. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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_**This story wouldn't be what it is without my wonderful beta, **_**The Real Teacher**_**, holding my hand and correcting my many errors. Thank you so much!**_

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_**I'm sorry for once again being fail in my updates. I cannot offer any other excuse than that RL is still very busy for me and my beta. To make it up to you: this is the longest chapter yet.**_

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**- 14 -**

By ten that night I couldn't hold off on getting home any longer. Though I would gladly have pulled an all-nighter if it would have meant that I could hold off on the dreaded reconciliation for a couple of hours longer, there simply wasn't any work that could rectify me sleeping on the uncomfortable looking designer sofa in the corner of my office.

And besides…I was pretty sure my mom would have my head on a silver platter if she even found out how much I'd been stalling as it was. Not showing up at all would have her demand my balls as well.

_Couldn't have that._

I was rather attached to them, in the figurative manner of speaking as well as the literal, even if I didn't have any plans for them in the near future. At least…..

I sighed, shaking my head at my own stupid thoughts. There was nothing between me and Bella Swan.

Not anymore and never would be.

Still, there was no denying the chemistry between us or the fact that after so many years she was still in my head.

It wasn't just in the physical reaction the modest feminine curved evoked in me or in the way that sexy, slightly husky voice of hers went straight to my dick, making me hard as granite.

No, there was more to her than that.

If I was completely honest I would have to admit that, in spite of her outward beauty, the sexiest thing about her was her mind. Bella had always been clever and strong but in time those traits had developed her into one kickass journalist who'd found stuff not even our team of researchers had managed to unearth; a loyal and selfless woman who'd put the interests of a family she probably just wanted to forget above those of herself.

And to think I'd called her a treacherous whore.

Looking back on the things I'd said to her throughout the last couple of times we'd met I couldn't feel anything but shame. Though I still held my reserves about the Swans, I could see now that I'd wronged Bella and, through my behavior, I had caused her pain and had shown myself to be lacking in character and just about every other trait normally associated with adulthood.

I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, my nose catching a whiff of the lingering sweet scent of Bella. My reaction to it was imminent; my heart rate sped up, my blood became hot with want and my mind started wondering what it would feel like if we were together.

_Fire. _

_Hot, burning, smoldering and never fading fire. _

_A passion so great there simply weren't any words in the English language to describe it. _

"Okay. Time to blow this joint before I grow a vagina," I growled to myself. Saying the words out loud might have temporarily shut my subconscious up, it did nothing to solve my problems.

Any of them.

Searching my soul I knew that the big issue that lay at the root of all my problems was my tendency to avoid difficult conversations and, instead of meeting my problems head on, drawing my own conclusions and stubbornly sticking by them even though everyone around me told me I was wrong.

_Exhibit one: my dad._

The driveway was mostly empty of journalists by the time I got home. Only one or two particularly tenacious press rats remained of the whole horse that had been camped out in front of our gate this morning, hoping to catch a glimpse of '_Killer Cullen'_ or _'Doctor Death'_ as they had so eloquently named him, as he returned home to await his trial. I hoped they'd leave us be for now, though the chances of that happening were slim to none. The constant scrutiny we were under was really starting to get to my mom.

I couldn't blame her.

I mean, the poor woman couldn't even ride into town on her silly old bicycle of hers to buy some food without having grown men accost her and hurl the most awful things at her just so they could get a reaction out of her. It was ridiculous and had made her as much of a prisoner in her own home as my dad had now become.

She was a strong woman, but I didn't know how much of this she could take before she'd reach her breaking point.

My car purred with pleasure as I sped up, seeing the thick iron gates that kept the outside world at bay slide back into place behind me as I let the engine stretch its feet a bit along the mile long driveway to 'Cullen Castle' as it had come to be known.

I chuckled as the house, bathing in light, came into view. It did look a bit like a castle. It most certainly was big enough to be one that was for sure.

Not wanting to expose my baby to the changeable Washington weather I drove it straight into the garage and parked it next to my dad's Mercedes and my mom's little MG before entering the house through the side door.

My mom's laughter was the first thing that greeted me, her warm, tingling chuckles drifting in through the hallway soon followed by the much deeper baritone of my dad's voice.

"I guess this is it," I whispered to myself as I shrugged out of my coat and dumped it and my keys in the foyer. "No more hiding."

My mom and dad were snuggled up on the loveseat in front of the fire, my mom's body angled towards his as he spoke, while his arm rested languidly on the backrest behind her. They seemed like the perfect devoted couple.

_Well ain't that just sweet. _

I was disappointed to see how quickly my mom had welcomed dad back into her life and her heart. Not that I'd expected anything else form her – I knew very well that my mom was whole incapable of holding a grudge – but I had expected her to at least put her foot down and hold out for a little while. I mean, even if my mom was to be believed and he had never betrayed her, he was still guilty of all but abandoning her in favor of his career and exposing her to the whole media circus on our front lawn.

"Edward!" My mom's face lit up like a Christmas tree when she noticed me standing on the threshold, a pale, slender arm stretching out towards me. "I was beginning to think your work had swallowed you whole!"

I shrugged, still unwilling to give up the safety of the threshold for a place closer to the fire. "I'm back now."

"Are you hungry? I could fix you a snack or something if you'd like, or do you just want a drink? Your dad and I have been enjoying an excellent '98 _Barolo_. I could get you a glass if you want?" Judging by my mom's rambling she was as nervous as I was and looking for an excuse to get a breather while my dad and I battled it out in the living room.

_Apparently I didn't get my tendency to flee from difficult situations from a stranger. _

_Thank you very much for that, mom. _

"A light snack would be great," I answered her. I'd already eaten at the office but what did going to bed with an overstuffed stomach mean if it meant that I could do my mom a favor.

"I'll go whip something together," my mom beamed, shooting a wide smile at my dad before getting up from the sofa and retreating to the kitchen with a lightness to her step that I hadn't seen in a long time.

She was happy.

Why did that make me feel sad, angry and disappointed?

"Edward." My dad's solemn voice broke the silence that lingered in her wake. "Why don't you sit down, son."

His request sounded more like an order but, just for the sake of keeping the frail peace, I complied, sitting my ass down in the chair furthest from the loveseat. "So you're out."

"I am," dad nodded as he poured me a glass of deep red wine before sitting down, the movement revealing the black ankle bracelet that came with his electronic house arrest. "Doesn't mean they're not keeping track of me, though."

"Did Garrett manage to get hold of you?" I asked, after a lengthy, uncomfortable gap in the conversation. "He wanted to set up a meeting with the team for tomorrow to go over a few things that came up over the last couple of days."

"They are dropping by tomorrow at nine," he replied. "I guess that means you get to sleep in, instead of suffering through early morning rush hour tomorrow."

I shrugged. "I don't mind the drive."

Dad chuckled. "Somehow that doesn't surprise me. If your new car lives up to the expectations raised by your mother then I wouldn't mind either."

My shoulders tensed up at the way he made light of his neglect. "Fuck you!" I growled. "You and I both know that you wouldn't have bothered coming home to us even if you got to drive a fucking Ferrari. So why don't you just cut the crap before even more lies come out!"

"Easy, Edward," my father warned, his hands coming up in a calming gesture when he noticed how his request only fuelled my anger. "Or have you forgotten that your mother is only a few feet away from us at the moment?"

I managed to take myself down a few notches at his words. "No," I admitted in a much lower voice, "but that doesn't mean you get to gloss all over this shit."

"And I never said I wanted to," my dad retorted, crossing his arms in front of his chest. "So. Ask me."

"Did you and Renee Swan have an affair?"

"No." His words were quick, decisive, but I didn't believe them for even a second.

"Liar."

"It's the truth," he insisted. "There may have been a time, back in college and long before I even met your mom, that she and I were very close, but all of that watered down after I met your mother."

"So you did fuck her," I stated.

"We were never _that_ intimate," dad answered, "and before you ask: we were never romantically involved either. By the time me and your mother moved to Forks all that left was a friendship and whole lot of embarrassment that took a long time to get over."

"But I heard the two of you…." I wasn't aware that I was thinking out loud until the words left my mouth.

He looked completely dumbfounded. "What? When?"

"Bella and I came back from school one day and overheard you and Renee arguing as we entered the house through the garden," I explained my mind at war inside my head.

Part of me really wanted to believe what he was saying while the other part of me knew it wouldn't matter. He was as guilty as sin. "The things you and she both said…."

My dad's face was as white as a sheet, his fists clenching and unclenching. "What did you hear, Edward?" he demanded, his voice stern and cold.

I snorted sarcastically, knowing by his reaction that I had him cornered. There was no way he could save his ass right now. "I heard you basically admit that the two of you were having an affair. I mean… Bella heard it too and she drew the same conclusion as I did."

"Edward," he pleaded with me, "I don't know what it was exactly that you heard, but please believe me when I say that whatever you understood it to be…you were wrong. There never has been – or never will be for that matter – an affair going on between me and Renee Swan."

I ran my hand through my hair, my heart pounding as I paused to think about his words. Dad was so decisive in his words and even mom seemed to be sure there was never anything going on between dad and Renee….

"Okay, so for argument's sake let's assume you're right and I was wrong," I hedged, "then what the hell were the two of you talking about in there? Because I sure as hell know what it sounded like to me."

Dad shifted uncomfortable, the tips of his fingers smoothing along the tabletop with his eyes trained upon them. "We were discussing a business matter. Renee had run into some problems in her personal life and turned to me for help."

I huffed. The son of a bitch was lying to me. "That's bullshit and you know it, dad!" I growled. "If you can't even be bothered to tell me the truth then how in God's name do you expect me to believe a word you say?"

"What Renee Swan and I were discussing that afternoon is none of your business, son," he warned me, "and you'd do well to keep out of it."

"Yeah, because it's none of my goddamn business whether or not the girl I was intending to screw was actually my little sister or not," I sneered. "And anyway, _you_ made it my business when you got your ass arrested."

"Tell me something, Edward," dad challenged me, keeping his voice low so as not to upset mom, "do you really think so low of your mother as to think she would have stood by me if she even suspected that I'd stoop so low as to fuck her best friend? Do you? Because if you do then you sure as hell don't deserve the high opinion that she has of you!"

His words struck home. I was ashamed to admit that I'd never even thought about it that way. Which, of course, was something my dad suspected as well. "You really underestimate your mother, son. She may give off the air of being frail and vulnerable but underneath that polished exterior houses a lioness that would frighten even the toughest of men. God knows I've done some things in my life that I'm not proud of, but believe me….if I'd ever broken the vow I'd made to her on my wedding day I'd gladly offer myself up to her to punish me as she sees fit."

"Then why the hell won't you come clean?" I hissed back, my eyes shooting between the door and my father. "I mean…you _have_ to see how guilty that makes you look to me."

He hung his head, his sadness and guilt so clear they almost managed to break through my anger. "Believe me, there's nothing I'd like more than to bare my soul to you and clear the air. Our issues have always weighed very heavily on my heart…"

"That's just a load of crap, dad," I replied bitterly. "If you really wanted to come clean, you would have done so ages ago, when we still had a shot at making things right again."

I shook my head. "_This_…" I gesticulated between us as I rose from my chair, unable to stomach being in his presence any longer, "...this is just a farce."

And with that I strode out of the room, right on time to bump into my mom on my way out.

"Edward?" she asked bewilderedly. "What is going on?"

"I tried mom," I pleaded, guiltily watching the plate of food in my mother's hand start to tremble as her face fell. "I'm sorry mom….but I can't stay in there and pretend….."

I took the plate from her fingers as kissed her cheek. "I love you mom."

"I love you too," she whispered, but I couldn't look at her face as I walked away, knowing what it was that I would find.

My failure as a son and _his_ failure as a husband.

**- x -**

"It's safe to come out now. Your father has gone out for a walk around the garden and shy of him lying in wait to ambush you on your way out, I think it's safe to say that you'll successfully escape the house without running into him."

The shock of hearing my mom's voice – bitter and thick with irony – behind me almost made me choke myself to death with the tie I'd been trying to tie around my neck prior to my arrival. "Damn it mom! Could you knock next time?" I gasped, coughing for air. "I almost killed myself!"

My mom let out a small snort. "Don't be such a drama queen!" she scoffed before turning her attention to my still unlaced tie, swatting my hands away and letting her nimble fingers solve my problem in no time at all.

"You were doing it all wrong," she admonished me. "Seriously, how you were able to survive without female assistance while you were away at school is incomprehensible."

I rolled my eyes at her not so subtle hint. "I got by just fine, mom."

"I doubt it," she huffed, smoothing down my collar.

Her face took on a sad note as she stepped back to admire her handiwork. "Your father is sorry for what happened last night. He never intended…."

"Stop defending him," I interrupted her. "How am I supposed to trust him if he doesn't even bother to put up a good defense?"

I had been wondering when she was going to bring him up. After last night's disastrous attempt at conversation and this morning's strained and completely useless meeting of the defense team, I had been quick to revert back to my tactic of avoiding my father as best as I could, driving into town almost the second the meeting was over and only returning just in time to for a quick shower and change of clothes before I was expected to show up at Jasper's house for dinner.

My mother let out a deep sigh. "I know he isn't making this easy on you – or on me for that matter."

"How do you do it?" I asked as I watched my mom struggle for words to defend her husband – my father. "How can you trust him? How is it that he can just walk through this door after years of hardly ever coming here at all, and have you welcoming him like the prodigal son returned?"

She looked up at me then, a sad smile gracing her lips. "Because I love him. And I know him."

She held up her hand to stop me before I could speak. "Carlisle cannot lie to me. He can fool a good many people, but not me. God knows he has a lot of things to make up for and – contrary to what you may think – I haven't yet forgiven him for the many errors of judgment he has made over the years. But then again…who's perfect? So yes, his explanations may have been brief and wholly unsatisfactory, but I know they are the truth and – to me – that's all that matters."

"I'm sorry mom, but I'm going to need a bit more than that," I replied with a bitter smile. "And dad knows that as well as anyone. The ball is in his court now. He knows where to reach me when he's done sticking his head into the sand."

"I know," her sad smile turned into a genuine and rather mischievous beam as she held out her arms for me. "But I couldn't resist trying."

I sighed, basking in the warmth of her arms and the scent of Chanel no 5 and mom as I lingered in my mother's embrace. "I know."

We stood there for a while before she loosened her hold on me, the mischief still very present as she lightly swatted my arm. "Now off with you. You've got friends to meet and it won't do arriving late."

I rolled my eyes at her but couldn't resist smiling. "I'm sure Jasper won't mind me being five minutes late, mom. And even if he does…it's not like I'm on his list of favorite people anyway."

"You might be surprised to find friends in places you never expected them," mom spoke, dusting a non-existent speck of dust from my jacket. "And God knows you could use them."

"And what is that supposed to mean?" I snorted.

"Come on, Edward," mom smiled. "You haven't had a real friend ever since we left Forks."

"That's not true!" I huffed. "There were Nora and Frank…."

"Who are your cousins," mom countered.

"….and Joe and Lauren…."

"Who were your colleagues," mom chuckled.

"McCarty was a real friend," I pouted.

She merely arched her brow. "And how long has it been since you and Emmett were last in contact?"

Damn! She had me there! I hadn't really spoken to my 'friend' since high school graduation.

"Not very recently," I grudgingly admitted, "but I might give him a call now that I'm back in Seattle…."

I'd met Emmett when we first moved to Seattle. His dad and mine worked together at the hospital so at first we were kind of forced together since we went to the same school and kept running into each other when our parents dragged us off to garden parties and other boring functions but after a while we came to the conclusion that we kind of got along.

My mom's loud snort dragged me out of my little trip down memory lane. "Do you even know if Emmett still lives here?"

My silence must have spoken volumes because she let out a small sigh before turning serious again. "I'm just worried that with everything going on in your life right now you will turn back into that silent, closed off boy you were before. You have a tendency to brood…to over think things…and it worries me. I'm just hoping that having other people you can talk to will help you deal and…and….gain some new perspectives. I'm only looking out for you…."

"I know, mom," I chuckled, kissing her forehead, "and I love you for it. But I'm a grown man now. I can't have my mommy running around, trying to fix me up with friends….." I looked at her pointedly, figuring it was best to warn her before she got any ideas, "or girlfriends."

"Okay. I'll _try_." She pouted before that damned mischievous smirk made its reappearance. "So, did you see any more of Bella Swan today?"

I shook my head as I laughed, grabbing my wallet and phone from the dressing table as I got ready to leave. She really was incorrigible. "Bye mom!"

True to my mother's words my father was nowhere to be found as I made my way out of the house. I thought I saw a flash of blond hair and a green tweed blazer once as I sped down the driveway but I couldn't be sure. My mind was occupied elsewhere by then.

_Bella. _

In law school I'd come to see the press mainly as a nuisance, its tendency to reveal information at an untimely moment a hazard to every lawyer building his defense. Recent events had only served to broaden my disdain for them because of the way the press kept prodding and poking into the lives of my parents and everyone around them sinking to a new low every day.

The press could be used to gain support for your client and show evidence that may have been inadmissible in court, but it would always be a liability to involve journalists into the practice of your daily work. After all, even the best amongst us had never succeeded in truly subjugating the free press.

And – though I loathed to admit it – maybe that was for the best.

Bella, however was a complete enigma, challenging every pre-conceived notion I had about journalists and their unscrupulous ways. I mean, voluntarily handing over information you'd just uncovered that may be detrimental in defending a very high profile case was pretty scrupulous, even if she'd decide to go ahead and post that shit in that newspaper of hers.

After all, she had her own career to think about and if the things she'd uncovered were as potent and valuable as I suspected they were, this could be the making of her career.

Which brought me back to the current matter at hand: dinner at the Whitlocks'.

There were very few things I felt less like doing than having dinner with my assaholic co-worker and his wife, especially when I could be cooped up in my office doing research on my dad's case right now.

Jasper had made it clear on various occasions that he liked me about as much as I liked him – which wasn't an awful lot – and that he only tolerated my presence at the office because of my close ties with both Eli and Garret, which ironically enough was also the reason he disliked me in the first place.

He was a damned good lawyer though. I had to admit that.

I'd only seen him in action twice and both times he'd pretty much owned the court room. Where Garrett and Eli both had the gift of gab and tons of experience to back them up, Jasper had an amazing talent to control and set the atmosphere in the room. It was almost like he could sense the feelings of the jury or a witness he was cross-examining and use that knowledge to get the outcome he wanted.

It was…._impressive_…to say the least, though I wouldn't want him tinkering with my brain tonight over steak and vegetables. Not even if it would get him off my back for the rest of the case.

Contrary to my mom's fears of me being late I rolled up in front of Jasper and Alice Whitlock's Ravenna home five minutes early which gave me ample time to study my surroundings.

Whenever I'd imagined Jasper outside the office, which wasn't something I did very often to be honest, I'd imagined him in some swanky glass apartment downtown or imposing looking Queen Anne townhouse, not in the quaint looking green Craftsman style house I was in front of. It seemed somehow too cute for a cold fucker like Whitlock.

Strange.

Things got even more bizarre once I was out of my car and crossing the small manicured lawn leading up to the porch and the front door. Toys and other little girl paraphernalia were strewn all over the place, making it look even more like something that ran away from Barbie World.

Jasper Whitlock had a kid? This was getting beyond crazy.

I somehow made it to the front door without tripping over something, the huge brass knocker coming down on the wooden frame with a banging echo as I shifted around uncomfortably in front of it, waiting to be admitted to Whitlock Central.

"Cullen." Jasper himself opened the door, acting like nothing out of the ordinary was happening though he had a bright blue bib draped over his left shoulder and his shirt was covered in green goo. "Don't just stand there. Come in."

"So," I started, feeling I had to acknowledge all of the new shit in some way. "You've got kids?"

Okay, so that may not have been the most intelligent of questions, seeing as the evidence was omnipresent around me, but the guy didn't have to look at me like I was some kind of lunatic.

"What?" I defended myself. "How the hell was I supposed to know?"

"Okay, you're right." He chuckled. "And I've got two, actually. Hannah is three, though she prefers 'almost four' and Jack is just over sixteen months old."

My eyebrows shot all the way into my hairline as I listened. Jasper wasn't that much older than me and he already had two kids. _Mom was never going to stop nagging me to settle down if she ever found out._

"Why are you staring at me like I'm some weird kind of mutant?" Jasper scowled. "It's not like I'm some kind of weirdo for marrying young and starting a family!"

"I know," I admitted. "It's just….."

He snorted. "About as far away from where you are at the moment as possible?" he finished for me.

I laughed along. "Yeah, that about sums it up."

He shook his head, patting me on the back as he walked passed me into the house. "Come on. I'll introduce you to them."

He looked back at me then, a fatherly look of warning on his face. "Provided you do something to clean up that damn mouth of yours. I don't want my kids picking up any kind of language they shouldn't be."

"Noted," I nodded solemnly, wondering what the hell he thought of me.

His kids were cute as fuck, as most kids generally are. Jack, the little boy, could only be heard though the noises that drifted in from an adjacent room though his sister – Hannah – was playing with her dolls when we came in. As soon as she heard us her bright blue eyes lit up when she saw her dad and she skipped over to him, hiding her face behind his legs as she sneaked not so subtle peeks at the stranger who'd just invaded her home, her index finger lodged between her lips as if she were in deep thought.

"Come on now, Hannah. Don't be shy, darlin'," Jasper urged his daughter. "Go say hello to our guest."

Hannah never took her finger out of her mouth as she inched a little closer, her other hand grabbing the hem of her pink, ruffled dress as if it were some kind of life buoy. "He-wo," she drawled. "I'm Hannah. I'm almost four. "

I shifted nervously, not quite knowing what the little girl expected of me. "Hi…uh…Hannah. I'm Edward and…erm….I'm almost twenty-six?" I looked up at Jasper to know if I was still doing this shit right, but judging by the 'proud daddy' look on his face I hadn't yet said anything out of place.

The girl started chortling with laughter, much to my amazement. "You funny!"

Jasper's eyes lit up, his guffaws mingling with this of his child. "Daddy thinks so too, sugar."

Which didn't do that much to ease my nerves, to be honest, though I decided that laughing along with them was probably the safest tactic to go along with for now.

Even if it did make me look like an idiot.

"Jasper Alexander Whitlock," a sharp voice commanded from out of nowhere, making both father and daughter freeze up instantly. "You know better than to make fun of our guests. Now go and put the kids to bed and maybe I'll forget that you were late getting home from work…._again_."

"Yes ma'am," Jasper muttered, paling considerable under the withering stare of one of the smallest and most peculiar women I'd ever seen. She was pretty, her raven black bob framing a pale face and a pair of flaming blue green eyes. Her features were refined, making her seem more like a little fairy than an actual human being. Though I'd never seen a fairy looking quite as scary as Alice Whitlock.

Hannah chuckled at her dad as she grabbed his hand. "You in twouble, daddy!"

Jasper sighed, scratching his head. "Yeah, daddy kind of is, sweetheart. So why don't you be a good girl and run upstairs while daddy gets Jack and you can help me put your little brother to bed before I help you out, kay?"

"Okay!" Hannah beamed, running to her mom to give her a kiss before flashing a broad smile at me as she skipped out of the room, soon followed by Jasper and her little brother, who was as covered in green goo as Jasper was.

"You must be Edward." I was a bit nervous to see the fiery eyes of Jasper's wife now fixed on me. "Oh don't look so damn scared! I won't bite!"

She rolled her eyes at me, motioning me to follow her to the kitchen. "Mind if I chop while we talk?"

"Not at all," I shrugged. "You have a really nice house, by the way."

"Thanks," she beamed, offering me a bottle of beer as she set to work. "Now, I could launch into a detailed description of everything I did to it when we bought it, but I figure you're about as interested in the fine art of decorating as Jasper is so let's just cut that crap and get to the core: you seem shocked."

"I kind of am," I admitted. "Jasper never told me he had a family and…."

"You always thought he was kind of a jerk and now you're starting to doubt whether or not he may be a decent human being after all?" Alice offered.

"Yeah," I nodded, only realizing that calling her husband a jerk might not have been a very wise thing to do considering the scene I'd just witnessed.

"I guess I'm kind of to blame for that," Alice shrugged, the sharp looking potato peeler keeping me from disagreeing with her. _She may have been small but God knows what kind of mayhem she could cause when armed with a potato peeler._

"Huh?" I settled on. "I'm not quite following you here."

She sighed. "I don't think Jasper's going to like me very much for saying this but who cares. I think you should know this before you make up your mind about him…"

She put down the peeler – much to my relief – as she looked at me, her eyes conveying a silent warning never to breathe another word of what I was about to hear before she started. "Jasper and I met in high school when he was a junior and I a freshman. A very _naïve_ freshman."

Her eyes took on a distant look as she talked, her small hands grabbing the counter as if it were her lifeline. "I was a very popular girl back then, which probably had a lot to do with the fact that my daddy was a very rich man who could have bought the whole town lock stock and barrel without ever feeling as much as a dent in his fortune. Boys would run a mile if it meant that they could take me out on a date. But not _he_."

She smiled, a trace of a southern lilt seeping more and more into her voice as she reminisced. "Jasper was never so shallow as to pursue a girl just because of her bank statement. I should have known better….."

"I was so proud when Jimmy Sanders asked me to be his date for the Spring Dance. Little did I know that he only asked me because of a bet he had going on with a few of his good-for-nothing classmates." A pointed look told me everything I needed to know about the bet. "It was a good thing Jasper went out to get a smoke when he did because otherwise…."

She shuddered, breathing in a deep sigh before she continued. "So when I scrambled to my feet again and stepped over the mess that was once my date for the dance I figured I might as well go for the guy that didn't seem to notice me before, seeing as all the other guys were losers. We've been an item ever since."

"That's sweet," I smiled, my mind envisioning what it would have been like if Bella and I had followed a similar path. _This might have been us right now._

"It is," Alice nodded, "though it hasn't exactly been a bed of roses since then."

She sighed, fiddling with the sleeve of her blouse before explaining. "Deep down inside Jasper has never gotten over the idea that he isn't quite good enough for me and I guess it doesn't really help that my daddy seems to agree with him…wholeheartedly."

"Ouch," I smirked.

"Yeah," Alice sighed. "I wanted to get married straight out of high school. I knew that we would be together forever and I didn't see much sense in waiting. He didn't agree though. He wanted to make a success out of himself before we settled down, thinking that he could only be truly worthy of me if he could provide me with a big house, a stellar job and a big sparkly diamond on my engagement ring."

"You told me I was out of my damn mind and that I was marrying you, not your daddy," Jasper snickered, leaning against the door frame.

"I did," Alice beamed, her love for him shining through like a ray of sunlight. "But did you believe me? Nooooo."

She rolled her eyes at him. "It was a good thing you knocked me up when you did, or you would have kept me waiting even longer."

Jasper chuckled, shaking his head at her as he crossed the threshold. "You were never known for your patience." He walked over to her, kissing her neck before stealing a few of the raw vegetables she'd just cut up.

"True," she chuckled, turning her attention back to me. "So now you know why Jasper wasn't exactly dancing around singing Hallelujah when you walked into the office on your first day. Besides….the office is the only place where he gets away with being a dick," she grinned. "As you can see, he's on quite a tight leash back at home."

I chuckled, not really knowing what to say with Jasper in the same room. Acknowledging that he could indeed be a dick would probably mean that I could file for unemployment benefit first thing tomorrow.

Jasper handed me a beer, the way he avoided looking at my face proving that he was as ill at ease with what had just been revealed as I was.

"So Edward…" Alice mused, breaking through the discomfort. "Any kids on the horizon for you?"

I almost choked on my beer, my lungs barely able to squeeze in enough air as I coughed as I heard Alice tinkling laughter bubble up from the other side of the room. "I guess that answers my question."

"I'm not really into long-term stuff right now," I managed to wheeze out as soon as I'd somewhat recovered.

"Oh come on!" Jasper grinned, grabbing a cold beer from the fridge, "I caught you looking at that Swan girl yesterday and believe me: you're not just looking to get into that girl's pants, you're looking to get into her _heart_."

"I wouldn't dare!" I joked, Tanya-gate still fresh in the back of my mind. "And even if I wanted to, I doubt she'd be too eager to let me anywhere near her heart again."

Alice's x-ray vision zoned in on me, her eyes narrowing as she processed what she'd just heard. "Again?"

I scratched the back of my head, stalling for time as I took another large gulp from my beer. "We have some prior, yeah."

Now it was Jasper's time to do the whole arch-brow-take-a-step-back-and-look-demandingly-thing. "Prior?"

I sighed. "Okay, okay….We used to have this soul-mate thing going on between us back when we were kids and both living in Forks."

"So she knew your dad," Jasper asked. "That explained why she came forward with all that stuff about the Volturi."

"It's a bit more complicated than that," I smirked, before launching into an explanation of all the stuff that happened to drive Bella and me apart. Alice hung on my every word, her compassion and easy friendship making it much easier to tell my story than it had ever been while Jasper seemed more preoccupied with the details that could have a bearing on the case.

"Wow!" Alice breathed when I was done with my story. "Jasper was right after all. You really are a bit of an asshole!"

I gulped, swallowing hard before I shrugged off my embarrassment at being called out on my behavior. "I guess now you know why Bella Swan wouldn't even think about letting me near her again."

Alice looked like a little bird as she tilted her head and squinted her eyes; her gaze resting on something that I wasn't sure was even located in this room. "I'm not so sure about that, Edward," she spoke cautiously. "I have a feeling the two of you may end up together after all. That is….if you finally let go of some of that anger that's eating at you."

She sighed, her eyes looking at me with sadness mixed with an honest friendship that I'd been missing for about ten years now. "A heart can't really open itself when it has all of these negative feelings weighing it down."

"Alice, "Jasper warned, turning to me as he smiled apologetically. "Alice's a psychologist by trade and though she specializes in child psychology she can't help but delve into the psyche of every person that walks through our door."

"What?" Alice shrugged. "If I can end up helping someone….."

"So what makes you think Bella would be willing to forgive me?" I asked, my mind still reeling from Alice's words. She was right on the mark, even though I loathed to admit it. I had a lot of anger weighing me down and stopping me from what I really wanted in life. The trouble was, I had no idea of how to get rid of it…how to pull myself out of the stinking, festering swamp of negativity that had been my home for so long now.

"Have you ever tried asking her for forgiveness?" Alice asked. "In fact…have you ever really actively thought about giving and receiving grace as a manner of getting yourself out of the pattern you're so stuck in?"

I frowned. "I have a pattern?"

Alice chuckled. "Everyone does. But it's not often when that pattern causes us to destroy a lot of things we have going for ourselves, like the one you're on right now."

The doorbell rang right then, as I was gearing up to ask Alice about what the hell she was trying to say to me. "That'll be Emmett and his girlfriend," Alice explained as Jasper went to let the new arrivers in. "Emmett's a Kindergarten teacher at Summit School, the school I'm currently on staff as a school psychologist. I invited him and his girlfriend along for dinner tonight just in case you and Jasper would've given each other the silent treatment tonight."

"Ah," I nodded.

"But just so you know: if you ever want to continue our conversation….my door is always open and nothing you say to me will ever reach Jasper's ears," she whispered. "I may not have an awful lot of experience when it comes to grownups, but I can still listen and be there for you as a friend."

Her words reminded me of what my mother had said to me earlier that evening about me not having any friends. "Okay," I said hesitantly, figuring that this strange, slightly frightening woman may be the best shot I had at a real friend. She made me feel oddly at ease and I felt like I could trust her with just about every secret I had.

_Which was crazy because I didn't even really _know_ her. _

Just then, the sounds of people talking started to drift into the kitchen "…we're so late.…..problems at work….…and you know women…."

I was just thinking how familiar the voice sounded when the hulky figure of my former high school buddy appeared in Jasper and Alice's kitchen, his huge arms gesticulating wildly as he went into his reasons for being late.

"Emmett?" I asked, the conversation immediately falling silent as both Emmett and Jasper looked at me.

"Well I'll be damned, if that isn't Sullen Cullen!" Emmett's loud voice boomed, his lips pulling into his trademark wide grin. "Though I shouldn't really have been surprised considering how your dad has been a bit of a media darling of late. How're ya doing? Still seeing the black cloud around every silver lining? And how's that angel of a mother of yours?"

I chuckled, shaking his outstretched hand. "We're holding up. So Kindergarten teacher huh? Aren't those kids a bit…you know…scared of you?"

"Nah," he shrugged, his grin widening, "but I do have to say that my size does come in handy when you want to shut the little buggers up."

"Don't let him fool you guys into thinking he's actually in control of his class," a Alice chimed in. "His Kindergartners sometime let him think they do what he says but I think that in the end they teach him more than he does them!"

"Damn straight!" Emmett chuckled, taking the beer Jasper offered him and raising the bottle as a way of toasting to his company before taking a huge gulp.

"So, Rose isn't coming?" Alice asked, as she poured the pasta-sauce she'd been making into a serving dish. "That's too bad. I would have loved to meet her after everything you told me about her. She seems rather…imposing."

"She's something else, alright," Emmett beamed, his face lightening up at the mention of his girlfriend. "She would have loved to be here too, had it not been for a bunch of lawyers screwing with tomorrow's edition of the paper. She sacked one of her senior reporters today over some sort of code-violation and then one of her other reporters pretty much had to rewrite a feature article to prevent the paper from getting sued into the ground. Seeing as my Rosie's the only one who can edit worth a damn she has to work overtime getting everything back into shape. "

I managed to catch Jasper's eye as Alice asked her next question and it seemed that he was having the same suspicion as I was. "What paper does she work for again?" Alice wanted to know.

"She's still trying to wrap up her degree in journalism," Emmett explained proudly, "so for now it's just the university newspaper but she's got big plans for afterward. She's the editor in chief, you know."

Judging by Alice's amused look she was very much privy to her husband's dealings with Rosalie Hale but, for now, she chose not to hang us out to dry, an act I was very grateful for.

As soon as Alice was done setting out the food, each one of us grabbed a dish and took it with us to the dining room where the next couple of moments were spent filling our plates and tucking into a very tasty assortment of Italian dishes.

As time went on I had to admit that I was really enjoying myself. The food was amazing and the company was even better. Emmett regaled Jasper and Alice with a lot of stories about when we were still in school together and Jasper and Alice told more about their lives back in the south while I told them about my years at Harvard. It was a relief to just…talk about things that weren't so heavy and laden like every damn conversation back at home was right now. I felt so much lighter.

We were just polishing off our deserts when Emmett's phone rang. "Sorry," he muttered, grabbing the offending piece of equipment and after glancing at the display, pushing a few buttons to shut it up.

It took only seconds for it to start ringing again, the sound now muted because Emmett must have switched it to 'vibrate'. "Go pick it up," Alice chuckled as Emmett blushed and launched off into a string of apologies. "Whoever's calling must be in great need of your assistance."

"Thanks," Emmett mumbled, before picking up. "Rosie?"

Even on the other end of the table I was able to pick up on some of the profanities the raging banshee was throwing at her boyfriend for daring to not pick up his phone and while Emmett's face paled to match the white tablecloth, Jasper, Alice and I had trouble keeping our faces straight. "Alright, babe, please calm down," Emmett pleaded, as the yelling died down. "What happened?"

We couldn't hear what was being said next, but judging from Emmett's face it must have been big. "She did _what_?" he growled. "Alright, I'm on my way."

"So what happened?" Alice asked as Emmett slammed his phone back onto the table and rubbed his eyes."I take it Rose had some trouble at work?"

Emmett shifted "One of her reporters – actually it's the one who's investigating the Cullen murder case – has run off on some kind of suicide mission after she got an anonymous letter from some fruitcake asking her to meet him at some remote location in the dead of night. She just called in because the asshole has slashed her tires and now she's all alone at Hamilton Viewpoint without a way of getting back and Rose is completely freaking out about it…So yeah, I need to get back home seeing as I've got the car….."

At that moment I couldn't imagine Rose could be any more freaked out than I was, my eyes shooting at Jasper – who was sporting an equally surprised look – before settling back on Emmett. "Do you know what the reporter's name is?" I asked, praying against all reason that it would be one of the other newspaper staff.

I knew better though. There was only one person insane enough to do such a thing and Emmett confirmed my suspicion all too quickly.

"Of course I do," he stated, the smile in his voice betraying that he actually knew her instead of having heard of her. "She's been a friend of my Rosie's ever since they started out at college, though I don't know if that's going to last after tonight. Her name is Bella Swan."

I didn't wait another moment. While Jasper and Alice were still far too busy being shocked, I'd already thrown my napkin on the table, pushed back my chair and retrieved my car keys from my pocket.

"Well, what are we waiting for?" I growled impatiently at Emmett as he stared at me like I'd gone insane. "Let's go get her."

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_**Edward to the rescue!**_

_**Do you think Bella will appreciate his knightly behavior? Do you even think he will act very knightly? What do you think happened to Bella? And how about Carlisle? What do you think is up with him?**_

_**Follow me on twitter for updates on my updates, the sounds or pictures that inspired me when I was writing and other random musings. I'm **_**missbaby25**_** over there.**_

_**As always: reviewers will get teased. **_


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. I am in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise, I just use their creations to have my wicked way with them. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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_**This story wouldn't be what it is without my wonderful beta, **_**The Real Teacher**_**, holding my hand and correcting my many errors. Thank you so much!**_

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**- 15 -**

As I looked around me, the looming black shapes of the trees and shrubs surrounding me casting eerie shadows all around, I couldn't help but feel a bit scared.

Okay, a lot.

A lot as in: little girl crying out for her mommy kind of scared.

And I hadn't even started about the actual trees themselves.

Why did God have to make nature look so scary at night?

_Okay. _So maybe meeting a yet to be named man at a dark, deserted and very remote spot might not have been the great idea it seemed like when I left home. _I guess I should have thought of that sooner, huh?_

I had just decided to call it a night, my mind rationalizing that it would be better to go back home and wait for an invite to meet at a place that wasn't so creepy or remote (provided Mr. or Mrs. Anonymous could actually be bothered to reschedule) when the loud thud of a car door slamming shut echoed through the silence.

"Fuck!" I gasped, my heart beating so fast that I could feel it hammering through the fabric of my coat.

I guess a swift and stealthy retreat was out of the question now.

As I struggled to regain somewhat of my usual cool and collected appearance instead of just looking like a frightened little rabbit caught in the headlights of a monster truck, I could see a dark figure starting to move towards the strangely comforting glow of the streetlight I'd take refuge under, the broad shoulders and long firm strides confirming that I was dealing with a Mr. Anonymous rather than a Mrs.

I couldn't be sure though, since whoever it was clearly valued his privacy seeing as he not only wore an oversized trench coat and a trilby hat but had also draped a scarf around his face to avoid being recognized.

_Talk about being thorough._

While I studied the figure, trying to decide whether I wanted to be a brave and possibly brilliant journalist and stay or a cowardly-yet-much-more-likely-to-live-into-a-ripe-old-age scary pants and make a run for it, my hands and feet were kind of making the decision for me as the former clamped around the trusty can of mace my dad always insisted I carry around with me while the latter grounded themselves into the earth as if to draw strength from the solid mass beneath me.

"You came," the figure spoke, lingering at the fringes of the circle of light. Definitely a man and, judging from the deepness and maturity in the voice, one that had reached his thirties or maybe even forties.

Definitely not Eric Yorkie.

I took a deep breath, trying not to make my voice betray my fear as I answered him. "You asked to meet me."

"You're brave, and perhaps a little reckless, to meet a stranger in a place like this after dark."

"I'd rather call it determined," I shrugged. "And if you're so worried about my wellbeing then why didn't you ask to meet me in some cozy, well-lit bar downtown or even a patch of greenery that isn't so horribly out of the way? I mean…if it's just the view of the Seattle skyline by night you're after then we could have met at Kerry Park just as well. Much more central and much less creepy, if you ask me."

He chuckled. "Believe me, Miss Swan. This is a much safer place. For both of us."

Now he was saying something I could use! "Why?"

The figure shifted and it was in that nervous gesture that I could see that he was as uncomfortable about all of this as I was. "Miss Swan," he started after thoroughly scarping his throat. "I didn't come here to spill every secret about the Volturi you're so desperate to know."

I squinted my eyes, trying to decide what to make of him. "If you didn't come here for that, then why did you? Because if this is your idea of a first date then I suggest you go ask your buddies for some advice the next time you feel like asking a girl out."

"I came here to warn you," his stoic reply came. "You have no idea of the danger you're getting yourself into if you keep on sticking your nose into places it doesn't belong."

"That last one's left to be decided," I shrugged. "I'm a reporter covering a murder case. I'll stick my nose into everything that seems relevant to my work."

My lips unconsciously pulled into a small smile as an idea popped into my head. "But seeing as you're so concerned about my well-being and all…How about you tell me a little bit more about this danger I'm in?"

"Clever, Miss Swan," he chuckled. But nothing further, much to my dismay.

"Let me see," I mused, thinking out loud. "Would I be in the clear if I just left you medical people alone? Because I'm assuming that's where you're from."

"The Volturi are all around you," Mr. Anonymous stated, his voice drifting back to that same stoic, almost mechanical tone. It made me suspect that either he'd rehearsed his speech to a 't' in front of his mirror at home, or he'd been send here by someone who'd left him very specific instructions about what to say and what not to say. "They may have started out as a fraternity for students of the medical faculty but from there they have infiltrated every faculty of the university and most of the important institutions of the town."

He stopped, no doubt giving me pause to debate the gravity of his words, before he continued. "If they are out to get you, then they _will_ succeed. "

"But I'll be good once I clear Seattle, won't I?" I tried.

It only earned me another dark chuckle and an answer that didn't help me at all. "Their arm reaches further than you could imagine."

By that time it was clear by his body language that he wasn't going to tell me anything more and – interesting as this had been – I don't really feel like standing in front of 'the man in the Burberry mask' all night only to be stonewalled on every relevant question I ask. "Okay," I hedged, trying to wrap this up, "I'll just consider myself warned then. I think we should call it a day now, charmed as I am to make your acquaintance though I really have no idea who the hell is hiding behind that mask. End on a high note or …well…yeah."

"That would probably be best," he nodded and though the movement of his head I manage to catch a glimpse of white skin and small, almost rodent like eyes staring back at me.

"So how do we do this?" I asked. "I mean…This situation is all kind of new to me and all."

"I think you should be the first to leave," he stated, the uncertainty in his voice making it clear that he was as much of a virgin the whole 'illicit meat up with a member of the free press' as I was, "that way I'm sure I'm not being followed."

I fail to inform him of all the possibilities I have of parking my car somewhere near the entrance to the park and tailing his ass from the moment he leaves the premises. Right now my prospects at surviving this meet up are too high to hand the guy a perfect excuse to kill me after all.

"Okay, so I guess this is goodbye then," I concluded, mustering the most perky smile I could manage at the moment. "Thanks for the warning."

All I got was a faint nod as I started to back away, turning my back on the hooded figure only After I was a safe distance away from him.

I'd walked maybe half a yard when the muted sounds of an eerie song made me turn around to see my former interlocutor rooting through his pocket, the banality of his movements making him a lot less scary in my eyes.

That was…until he answered his phone.

"_Dominus?" _

I stopped dead in my tracks at the mention of that now familiar name, the fear – _blind, thick_ fear – in Mr. Anonymous' voice only serving to confirm what I'd already suspected.

He was talking to the boss.

The boss of the Volturi.

And the boss of the Volturi – a powerful and possibly deadly organization – might now be aware of his secret rendezvous with me.

I wasn't sure whether to be excited or shit my pants over this little tidbit of information.

Mr. Anonymous' eyes widened with fear while he listened to whatever this _Dominus_ dude had to say and I couldn't really say I blamed him for crapping his pants. I mean, if I'd be caught red-handed while airing out my secret – and possibly criminal – society's dirty laundry to a member of the press, I'd be fucking terrified too.

"But…._Dominus_…" his desperate plea almost made me feel sorry for the guy.

Almost.

I knew I was supposed to get the hell away from this creepy place but somehow my morbid curiosity got the better of me, the trees and the shadows suddenly not so creepy anymore now that they came with the interesting prospect of eavesdropping on an unsuspecting informant.

"He wants to talk to you," Mr. Anonymous' voice spoke, looking straight at the bush I thought I was hidden safely behind.

_Or not so unsuspecting. _

"W-what?" I managed to stammer, my heart rate speeding up to insane levels.

"He. Wants. To. Talk. To. You," Mr. Anonymous repeated, speaking slowly and over articulating every word. "In fact, it's the reason he called."

"Oh." Apparently my brain had already sought safety in flight. "O-okay."

My hand was shaking as I held it out, the sleek, silver phone feeling cold and foreign in my hands. "H-Hello?"

"Ah! If that isn't the lovely voice of Miss Isabella Swan," a deep voice with just the slightest hint of a foreign accent spoke.

I could sense by his intonation and choice of words that the man – _Dominus_, or whatever the fuck he was called – was trying to come across as some kind of 'friendly uncle'-type charmer. He didn't quite succeed though, but not for lack of trying.

It was his voice.

There was something…_off_ about it. Something that screamed danger. It was cold and calculative; the kind of voice belonging to a man who had no issues in sending a man to his death or taking out an arm – or any other body part – if said appendage was in his way.

_Or doing away with a pesky little reporter when she was starting to ask too many questions. _

I shivered as I tried to shuffle back into the soothing halo of light the streetlamp cast on the black asphalt of the park lane. It was odd, how something as simple as a stupid light bulb could make you feel so much safer even when, in reality, I knew I shouldn't really count on inanimate object to jump to my rescue.

"H-How do you know my name?" I managed to squeak as Mr. Anonymous hovered a couple of feet away from me, watching my face with the kind of frightened tension of a suspect awaiting the jury's verdict.

"A name is not something that's particularly hard to come by," _Dominus_ answered. "Especially not when the owner of it bears considerable interest to you."

There was a short pause and I could hear a faint rustling on the other end of the line, probably from someone shifting in their seat. "If only you knew how long I have been wanting to speak to you."

"That's insane?" I cried. "I don't even know you!" _Apparently my courage had returned with a vengeance. _

Mr. Anonymous seemed as shocked by my sudden outcry as I was, his posture rigid and his face probably icy pale underneath all those layers that covered it up.

The man on the other end chuckled, as if the fact that someone dared raise their voice at him was so rare that it became amusing. "My dear Isabella. As a journalist, you of all people should know that a stranger can sometimes be much more interesting than a friend."

"Well, you'll have to forgive me," I replied, not completely able to keep the snark out of my voice. "I'm kind of new to all of this."

The silence that fell was uncomfortable to say the least since it made me remember the fact that I was standing in the middle of a dark and almost deserted park with no-one but a hooded man and a whole shitloads of bugs and critters to keep me company while talking to a man who, quite possibly, had blood on his hands.

"So," I finally cut through the silence. "You wanted to speak to me?"

"Yes," his voice trailed off pensively. "It seems your presence has kicked up quite a stir within my circle of friends…"

"Your _circle of friends_?" I interrupted him with a snort.

"What else does one call the group of people a person keeps his company with?"

"Oh, I don't know? How about secret society or cult or criminal organization?" The words were out of my mouth before I knew it or could do anything to stop them. _Great. I just called the man a criminal. Do you have a death wish now, Swan?_

"You wound me, dear Isabella," his swift reply came, though I had to say he would have been a whole lot more credible if he hadn't sounded so amused. '_Wound' my ass!_

"You'll get over it," I shrugged. "It's not like we're friends or anything. I mean, I don't even know your name."

"I mostly go by the name of _Dominus_," he answered. "But I doubt you didn't already know that."

I shrugged. "I _did_ know that, actually, but calling you that would seem pretty damn silly to me. I mean, I'm not really into that whole BDSM shit."

"Is that what you think the Volturi are all about?" he asked. "Because if so, my dear Isabella, then you are sorely mistaken."

My heart took a little leap at the thought that maybe I would be getting some of the answers I craved. "Then please tell me what the Volturi really are about," I asked, pouring as much confidence into my voice as I could manage.

"We are a time old organization that strives to protect the once common values of trust, loyalty and bravery in the soul of the bright, young students of the University of Washington," he droned, acting like I should become all teary eyed and sentimental over his statement.

I rolled my eyes at the very non-explanative answer. "A very noble cause, I'm sure. But it doesn't really explain anything. What is it you _do_, for instance? Do you guys go on crusades to scour the campus of every wimp, cheater or traitor? Because for some reason I must have missed a bunch of guys running around in capes beating the shit out of the weak and spineless."

"You have an excellent sense of humor, my dear," he chuckled, "and I believe it's paralleled only by your tenacity. Even if, in this case, that tenacity will only be met with disappointment."

"Will it?" I questioned.

"You didn't really think I would spill all of my secrets so easily and over the phone, did you?" he retorted. "No, if you want my secrets, you are going to have to work for them."

"Work for them?" For some deranged kind of reason that made my brain conjure up all kinds of scenarios in which I was passed around the table as some kind of sex slave.

_Ewww. No thanks._

"Inside information into the Volturi can only be given by those who join our ranks," Dominus explained.

"You want me to join the Volturi?" I gasped.

"Is that such a strange request?" He sounded genuinely surprised at my lack of enthusiasm to join his scary team of crusaders.

"Well, yeah," I spurted. "I'm not really into this whole crusade-thing you've got going on and really, if you knew me you would know that I'm not the most virtuous girl that ever walked the planet. That and I'm kind of bad at keeping secrets. Journalist and all…."

"I take it that is a 'no'." His surprise had turned into disappointment, the causes of which befuddled me. He didn't even know me. Why would he want me to join his super secret society? He must have known that the secret would be out the moment I'd know about it?

"You've got that right," I nodded, before adding an apology in the hopes that it would make me stay on his good side, That was, if the guy actually _had_ a good side. "Sorry."

"It is I, who am sorry," he answered. "You're losing out on an important opportunity to get ahead in society and enter into a realm where very few have gone before you."

I didn't really know how to answer that so I just settled for something trivial. "Was there anything else you wanted to discuss with me? I mean, I could ask you questions, but I'd doubt you'd give me any of the answers I'm looking for."

"No, I think this concludes our conversation." His tone was clipped now, adding to the creepiness of this whole situation. "Though I would appreciate it if you would stop prying into things you do not understand."

"I'm a journalist," I shrugged. "That's what I do."

"It really was a pleasure talking to you," he concluded, disregarding my final remark, "and I do hope you'll change your mind about attending one of our little gatherings. We could use someone around who spices things up a bit at our meetings. Seeing as you and your mother are so much alike in every other aspect, you, my dear, might very well be it."

"You know my mother?" I gasped, my heartbeat taking off with the speed of a hummingbird's wings.

But all I got in reply was the monotonous buzz of a disconnected phone call.

He knew my mother.

But how?

While my brain was desperately trying to keep up with everything I'd just heard I suddenly realized that I was all alone and my heart was slowly coming down from its alarmingly fast pace. Mr. Anonymous must have slipped away sometime during my phone conversation with his boss which was strange since I was still holding his mobile phone in my hand.

This night just kept getting weirder and weirder.

But then again, most secret societies were the playing field of spoiled little rich kids and those tended not to care too much about personal belongings getting lost. They'd just buy new ones.

_Well,_ I thought as I pocketed the small piece of modern technology to look at once I'd hightailed it out of this place, _his loss, my gain._

The absence of Mr. Anonymous, though welcome, also meant that I was now all alone in the middle of a scarily quiet and deserted patch of greenery.

Time to get the hell out of here.

By the time I reached it, my truck was hanging in an odd angle which, on closer inspection, was caused by the fact that someone – if I could hazard a guess: Mr. Anonymous – had slashed one of the tires.

Great.

I sighed at the sad sight of my mutilated truck. I had a spare tire laying about somewhere in the bed of the car but since I didn't have the necessary tools to change a tire and – even if I had – didn't know a first thing about the mechanics of getting a tire to come off its suspension, let alone fixing the new one into place. Okay. Calling for help it was.

I fished my phone out of my pocket and started rifling through my list of contacts.

Dad.

_Out of the question. He'd kill me, lock me up in the basement or hire a private bodyguard to follow me around and keep me from putting myself in danger again. _

Jake.

_Out of the question. Period._

Seth.

_Too young to drive and too far away._

Leah.

_Too young and did I really want my scary 'I-want-to-kill-you-because-you-look-too-fucking-happy' stepsister to meet me in a dark, deserted park?_

Angela.

_Out of the question. I didn't help Ben plan a big romantic night out only to interrupt them right in the middle of it._

Rose.

_She'd probably kill me as well but, on the other hand, she was close, in possession of a car and – provided she wasn't having sex with Emmett – available to pick me up. _

"Okay," I muttered to myself. "Rose it is."

To say that Rose was happy when she heard my explanation about why I found myself stranded at the parking lot of Hamilton Park in the middle of the night would be the biggest lie ever told by a member of the human race. By the time her words weakened into hose that would not make a member of the clergy break out in a blush, my ears were ringing with the insults they'd just had to endure.

"You could have gotten yourself killed or seriously hurt," Rose's shrill voice continued to shriek. "And then what?"

"I know," I mutter. "I wasn't thinking."

"Yeah, that's right." I can almost see her rolling her eyes at me from the other end of the line. "I'm starting to wonder if you ever do."

"Very well," I grumble, knowing that disagreeing with her won't get me anywhere right now. "So now that we've established that I'm a dumb twit, can you please come pick me up? I'm kind of ready to blow this joint."

I looked around me, the dark shadows and heavy silence – though a welcome change from the scary conversation I'd just had – starting to creep up on me again. "It's giving me the creeps."

"No." I'd known Rose to be blunt but this still kind of blows me away.

"No?" I repeat like the stupid twit I'd just announced myself to be.

"I'm still stuck at _The Daily_, fixing tomorrows edition before it goes to the printers' and Emmett has the car so even if I had the time to drag my overworked little butt all the way through downtown Seattle to pick you up, I still wouldn't be able to," she barked out in explanation. "So you can just call yourself a cab and be damned happy that it's just cab money you're paying for instead of a damned hospital bill."

"Fine," I breathed, knowing it was only her concern for her safety that made her lash out like that. And it wasn't like I didn't deserve it.

Rose let out a deep sigh. "I'll call Emmett and see if he can pick you up."

"Thanks Rose," I spoke, breathing a sigh of relief. "Where is he anyway?"

"He's at the house of some colleague of his having dinner," Rose answered. "I was supposed to go with him but then those lawyers of yours fudged up all of our plans and now I'm stuck in here editing Tanya's piece of shit excuse for serious journalism."

"That bad, huh?" I couldn't help but snicker. _The damned bitch had it coming. _

"Not as bad as having your star reporter go off on a suicide mission," Rose snapped. "But yeah, it was pretty cringe worthy. You'd think that by now the girl would know that she's reporting for a serious newspaper, not the damned _Enquirer_."

Rose made me stay on the phone as she called Emmett, a thing I was very grateful for because, as much as I didn't want to hear her bitching about my stupid mistake to her boyfriend, the reality of what I'd just been a part of was really starting to hit home now and I was beginning to fear that the cold, detached tone of _Dominus_' voice would play a starring role in many nightmares to come.

As would the place I was in right now.

"Did you hear?" Rose's voice came back to me."Emmett's on his way. He's going to be there in give or take twenty minutes."

"Thanks Rose…" I started only to be interrupted immediately.

"And _you_ will be in my office bright and early tomorrow morning," Rose added in a stern voice. "Don't think that just because I've done some of my yelling tonight, I'm anywhere near done telling you how stupid you are."

"Yes, mom," I sighed.

"And you'd better be writing a kickass article about the things you've discovered tonight or I'm kicking you out of _The Daily_," she warned me.

I chuckled. "Don't worry."

We chatted some more while I stood next to my useless truck, Rose's voice even in her anger scaring away the prospect of armed robbers lurking in the undergrowth that surrounded me.

"Gotta go," Rose finally sighed, about fifteen minutes into her rant about stupid reporters and their over eagerness to get themselves killed, sued or infected with venereal diseases.

"Professor Norrell just walked in looking all constipated which probably means those Nazi's from the printing office have been breathing down her neck again."

I chuckled. "Yeah. You'd better hang up before she catches you slacking at the office."

Victoria Norrell was one of the faculty members appointed to oversee the day to day goings on at _The Daily_ and be on hand to offer advice or step in when things threatened to spiral out of hand. She was nice for the most part, or at least nice enough to basically give Rose free reign as long as she stuck to the rules and sometimes dropped by to leave fresh Starbucks and cupcakes as she kicked ass in front of her classroom. Her freshman classes were probably the ones I learned the most from in all my years at college and she really inspired me to pursue a career in journalism. You didn't want to get on her bad side, though. She'd chew you up, spit you out and pursue to kick you until you ran screaming to your mommy.

"Don't do anything stupid," Rose warned me. "Emmett should be there in a couple of minutes. Love ya, babe."

"Love you too, you big angry harpy," I snickered before disconnecting the call.

It wasn't long after that when I heard the low rumble of a car engine speeding up to where I stood, a sleek black sports car that looked like it was previously owned by the _Knight Rider_ sliding into view almost at the same time and coming to a screeching halt a few yards away from me.

The figure that bolted from the driver's side while the engine was still running wasn't Emmett, his frame too thin and agile to be that of my friend's boyfriend.

_Edward._

I recognized him even before the rays of the streetlight illuminated his pale face and delightfully disarrayed bronze hair.

"What the hell are you doing here?" The words were out of my mouth before I knew it.

"What am _I_ doing here?" The now familiar sounds of an angry Edward crashed through the silence. "That's fucking rich coming from you! What the hell were you _thinking_ coming up here alone in the middle of the fucking night?"

"And what fucking business is that of yours?" I yelled back, clenching and unclenching my fists at my sides to get rid of some of my rage before I did something stupid like take out the driver of my getaway car.

Edward's eyes were alight with anger as he stepped up to me, my treacherous body buzzing with anticipation as he entered my personal space. "You can do as you bloody well please for all I care," he sneered, his voice murderously low, "but if you, for one second, think that you can fuck up my dad's murder case by snooping around in places you shouldn't mess around in, it kind of _becomes_ my business, don't you think?"

I let out a sarcastic snort. "Yeah, because you and your dad are as thick as thieves!" I squared up to him, trying not to let his size and proximity intimidate me even though a part of me kind of liked being this close to him.

"That may be," his answer came, "but as his lawyer it's my job to defend him and get him out of this fucking mess smelling of roses."

"How very knight-in-shining-armor of you."

I shook my head. I still couldn't believe how much of an arrogant asshole he'd become. Yesterday, for a moment, I thought I'd seen a flash of my old friend, the boy I used to love with all my heart until he broke it, but now I realized it was just a mirage.

He shrugged. "I did jump in to protect the lady's safety, didn't I?"

I narrowed my eyes at him, my palm twitching with its impatience to mar that perfectly pale skin of his. "This lady doesn't want to be protected," I hissed. "And least of all by the likes of you!"

"Really?" He actually had the nerve to laugh at me. "Because out of the two of us, I'm not the one that needs saving."

I felt like my body was going to explode with rage, my nostrils flaring as I hissed my reply at him. "You lost the right to meddle in my affairs when you stopped fucking caring about them!"

"You're fucking insufferable!" He growled, his heated glare burning holes into my skin as he growled.

I stood my ground against him, narrowing my eyes as I tried not to think about the way his muscular chest seemed to be straining against the fabric of his jacket as his chest extracted with deep angry breaths, or the way his eyes shimmered with a burning passion as he looked at me, making him look vicious….dangerous….._irresistible_.

There was this strange _thing_ between us, something in the air that had caught hold of me and refused to let go. And what was worse was that he must have felt it too because I could feel him inching closer as if drawn by some strange kin fog electric current that was buzzing between is.

It completely freaked me out.

"Well, you're not exactly easy to palate either!" I growled back, taking a step backwards in a desperate attempt to break whatever kind of spell he'd put me under. "I fucking _hate_ you!"

Before my mind could register what was going on, he'd closed what small gap remained between us, his hands grabbing hold of my upper arms and pressing me against his rock solid, muscular chest at the same time as his lips pressed down onto mine; claiming me, invading me and obliterating any other feeling I might have entertained at that moment….apart from an overwhelming, mindboggling lust.

_Oh, sweet Jesus! _

There was nothing sweet about or kiss. It was raw, needy and passionate; tongues tangling in their fight to dominate, hands grabbing hold of whatever it was that could be reached, low rumbles and moans vibrating through the air during the rare moments we let go long enough to suck in a quick breath of air.

It was the best kiss I'd ever had in my whole fucking life.

It was also the worst.

"No!" I managed to gasp, trying to struggle free while Edward's hands dug into the flesh above my hipbones as if he was holding on for dear life. "Fucking let go of me!"

I finally managed to break free, my hand coming up almost out of reflex and not stopping until it hit skin and another groan permeated the air, though this time it was one of pain.

"You fucking _slapped_ me!" Edward gasped as he stumbled back, rubbing his reddening cheek with his hand.

I shouldn't have been so surprised to feel how swollen my lips were when I touched my fingers to them. After all, they had just been kissed. And very properly too, I might add.

"You kissed me." I had meant my words to sound angry; a justified response to his stupid question, but all I could manage was some kind of girly whispered that sounded more awed that angry.

What the hell was wrong with me?

I closed my eyes, relishing in the tingling sensation that radiated from my lips all the way through my body for a moment until feelings of anger and confusion started to take over again. You _kissed_ me," I repeated, this time reaching the level of outrage I had meant to convey all along. "Why the hell did you do that?"

He didn't answer. He just stared at me with a look in his eyes that made me equal parts nervous and horny until the air between us became so heavy with…well, something…that you could almost reach out and touch.

We both jumped at the sound of someone scraping their throat, our chests panting with the strain of loving and hating and feeling so many things that you were in danger of losing your damned mind.

"Okay, not to come between you or cockblock or anything," Emmett interrupted us, breaking whatever strange spell had fallen over us, "but how do the two of you know each other? I mean….I tried asking the caped crusader over here while he was speeding to your rescue but all I got was a man grunt and that ain't very helpful."

"We had something going on between us back when we were both still living in Forks," I shrugged dismissively. "That was….before he dumped my ass and called my mother a whore."

Edward rolled his eyes in contempt. "And there she goes again with the pity party. I know I acted like an asshole back then but do you really have to rub it in _every damn time_ we meet?"

I was pushed out of the way by Emmett before I could pull my arm far enough back to slug my ex-boyfriend-turned-worst-enemy in the face. _The nerve of that guy!_

"Dude! You're _Edward_'s Bella?" Emmet's eyes nearly popped out of their sockets as they shot from me to Edward and back to me again. "That's fucking insane!"

"I'm nobody's Bella," I hissed, my eyes never stopping their death glare as I answered Emmett's stupid remark. _What? I'm all about multitasking these days._ "And I sure as hell ain't _his_."

Emmett must have figured out that I wasn't really in a mood to put up with his goofy shit right now because he turned his attention to Edward. "Bet you're sorry you wrote all those sappy love songs about her now, huh?"

Wait.

What the hell?

"You wrote me _love songs_?" I gasped, not quite sure if that wants to make me want to roll over the floor with laughter or puke my guts out.

Edward let out an angry guy-growl as he dragged his hand through his hair, his eyes shooting daggers at Emmett for letting the cat out of the bag. "Just get in the damn car, Bella."

"No." I crossed my arms in front of my chest as Edward and Emmett's faces both whipped in my direction in surprise.

"I can't just leave Jerry standing here in the middle of nowhere all night," I explained. "Someone might steal him." I shot a glare at Edward before he could say something derogative about my mode of transport. And right on time too, judging by the way his lips had curled up in sarcasm.

Emmett frowned. "Jerry?" Rose must have never told him about my special bond with my transportation.

"She named her truck," Edward shrugged. "I take it you have a spare tire hidden somewhere in the bed of that truck?"

I nodded. "It's hidden underneath all of my junk somewhere. I don't have any tools though." I barely managed to keep myself from adding _'unless you count the one standing in front of me'._

"That's fine, Bells," Emmett nodded. "I bet Edward has the tools I need to change your tire right?"

I couldn't stop myself from snickering as Edward nodded. _That's right, Emmett. He's just one big hard tool of a fucking assaholic manwhore. _

"So how about I change your tire and drive home in your truck," Emmett suggested. "Edward can drop you off at your apartment and Rose can drive your truck to school tomorrow."

"And what about your car?" I asked.

Emmett just shrugged. "It's only three blocks from our place to Alice and Jaspers' so it's no biggie to just walk there and pick it up. It will give me something to do tonight while I wait for my Rosie to get back."

Damn. He'd just obliterated every single excuse I had to keep myself from being trapped in a confined space with Edward Cullen for give or take twenty minutes.

"Fine," I sighed in surrender. "As long as Jerry is safe."

Edward let out a small snort as he turned his attention on me, the sarcastic smirk on his lips making me want to slap him again. "Don't worry Bella. I doubt anyone would actually _want_ to steal that heap of junk."

"_Don't_ make fun of my car," I warned him, "or I might have a thing or two to say about your car and why it is that men want to compensate the loss of….."

"Okay, okay!" Edward interrupted me, holding his hands up in surrender. "Did my mom call you to compare notes or something? I'll stop making fun of Jerry as long as you never finish that sentence."

"Fine," I nodded, reluctantly making my way over to the pimpmobile as I whistled the Knight Rider- tune, earning me a disgruntles grumble from my not-so-designated driver.

A heavy silence fell over us the minute we were alone, our words and actions at Hamilton Viewpoint weighing down on us until the air felt too loaded to be broken by words.

So we sat there in silence, the nightscape flashing by as Edward deftly steered his pimpmobile through the ever-crowded streets of downtown Seattle.

This was going to be a long drive…..

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_**Thoughts?**_

_**Follow me on twitter for updates on my updates, the sounds or pictures that inspired me when I was writing and other random musings. I'm **_**missbaby25**_** over there.**_

_**As always: reviewers will get teased. **_


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. I am in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise, I just use their creations to have my wicked way with them. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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_**This story wouldn't be what it is without my wonderful beta, **_**The Real Teacher**_**, holding my hand and correcting my many errors. Thank you so much!**_

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**- 16 -**

By the time we reached the West Seattle Bridge the atmosphere in the car was so heavy that it could almost make the bridge collapse underneath us. We both stared out straight in front of us, though I couldn't help peeking out at Bella every now and then under the guise of fidgeting with the controls.

Her face was set in angry lines, her brows frowned and her lips pressed into a tight, narrow line as she kept her eyes trained to the window while her hands were clenched in her lap.

She was still pissed off at me because of the way I'd reacted when I spotted her, standing all alone underneath a streetlight in the middle of a godforsaken spit of greenery.

_How could she have risked her fucking life like that?_

Was it any wonder that I'd yelled at her? I doubted her dad would have acted any different if it had been him and not me who'd had to come and get her out of this mess.

_She could have gotten hurt. _

_Or worse…._

She could have ended up stabbed and left to slowly bleed to death, alone and in pain. _Like Jane. _

The roar of the engine as I stepped on the gas mirrored my inner voice, the car shooting forward into the night like an arrow. _She was fine now._

I glanced to my right again, as if to convince myself of the fact that she really was alive and well. Her small figure barely standing out against the black leather of the car seat as she stared out of the window, her body as still as a statue.

I muffled a smile as I shot another glance her way. _At least she was as tense as I was._

"Turn left at the next exit." I jumped at the sound of her voice. They were the first words spoken since we'd left Hamilton Park and, even if she stating something that was so blatantly obvious that it almost made me doubt her sanity, I welcomed the sound of every damn word.

"God! You scared the crap out of me!" I chuckled, taking my eyes off the road for another glance in her direction, my relief quickly turning back into frustration when I noticed that by then she'd already gone back to staring out of the window.

I sighed, impatiently drumming my fingers against the wheel in the hope to get some kind of reaction out of her.

Nothing.

Five minutes later, when we were cruising along the I-5, I'd had it. If she wasn't going to be the one to break the silence, I'd just have to take one for the team and be the first to speak.

"Are we ever going to talk about this?" I cringed, my tone a bit harsher than I'd liked it to be.

She just did the whole rebellious teenager thing and shrugged, trying to hide her face behind her hair as she continued to stare out of the window. "What is there to talk about?"

I did a double take just to see if she wasn't joking after all but the pale white face standing out against the black-on-black interior of my car showed no signs of humor. In fact, it didn't show much of anything except maybe a faint hint of annoyance. "We could start by discussing what on earth possessed you to be at Hamilton Park on your own at ten in the fucking evening?" I grumbled, already half abandoning my resolution to stay calm and friendly.

Of course there was another thing that warranted discussing but bringing up the part where I'd basically attacked her and raped her mouth probably wouldn't be the way forward for us right now.

It was one hell of a kiss, though.

Man! Even thinking about it made me hard as hell, her lips – her plump, soft lips, had felt perfect against mine and the fact that – until she slapped me, of course – she had seemed to get as caught up in it as I was.

Bella sighed before I could finish that thought, and I was a little hurt though unsurprised by the amount of relief she showed, resting her forehead against the cool glass of the car window. "I was meeting some guy who told me he could help me out with an article I was writing."

"And article about my father's case," I stated.

She let out a little deprecating huff. "What makes you think that?"

I chuckled. "Not that I don't think the university bigwigs can kick up a fuss or anything when you guys threaten to publish something that might cause them some embarrassment, but I somehow doubt that it would warrant clandestine meetings in secret locations."

She smiled the first genuine smile I'd seen from her in years. _God she was beautiful when she smiled._ "And besides," I added, before my mind could trail into the gutter, "I know you're working on my dad's case right now so it seemed kind of logical."

"You always were too smart for your own good," she snickered.

"I know," I joked back. "It will be my downfall one day."

"Oh? You mean other than the fact that you're damned good at holding grudges but fail when it comes to warding off slutty reporters?"

I tensed, not quite knowing how to respond to this. "Maybe," I finally muttered, my hands once again tightening around the steering wheel as I kept my gaze trained to the street in front of me as if my life depended on it.

I could feel the rustling of fabric as she turned, the leather of the seats leaving no room for stealthy peeks. "I'm sorry," she sighed. "That was uncalled for."

"Nah," I shrugged. "I deserve to pay for my own stupidity."

She let out a loud snort. "How very introspective! Whatever happened to being all cocky and arrogant?"

"It's called growing up," I replied. "Maybe you should give it a try as well."

And just like that the silence was back.

I cursed myself for basically slamming the door back into her face. For a moment I'd seen something of the old Bella, joking and letting some of her guard down when she was around me. It was the Bella I'd grown up with. The Bella that knew every damn secret I hid for the rest of the world and with whom talking came almost like a second nature. It was the Bella I'd missed like hell, ever single damn day since I'd pushed her away.

And I was doing it again.

I was fucking this up again.

We were already nearing the university district when she spoke again, her tone clipped and accusatory. "Why do you always have to do that?"

This time, when I shot a sideways glance at her, her eyes were alight with fire. "Do what?" I asked, stalling for time because I knew damn well what she meant.

"Change gears on me all the time," she explained. "One moment you're all nice and I think we could move on from all the shit that happened between us and be friends, then the next you're acting like a complete asshole, talking down to me like I'm a fucking kid or calling me or my family names. I'm just so fucking tired of it!"

"W-what?' It was all I managed to get in, completely baffled by her sudden honesty, before she continued her rant.

"Is is some kind of man-PMS or something? Because that sure as hell is what it looks like to me,' she huffed. "You're hot one minute, cold the next... It's like that damned Katy Perry song."

"Would you please just shut the hell up for a second so I can answer your damn question?" I growled, wishing we were on some quiet country lane instead of the damned interstate highway so that I could pull over and properly talk to her.

Being as it was I just had to settle for dividing my attention between the road and the frustrating, insufferable yet completely bewitching woman sitting next to me who, right now, just sat there, for some reason completely stunned by my reaction.

"Thank you!" I barked, slowing down to just a little bit over the speed limit so that I wouldn't have to worry about crashing my car as we talked.

"Now," I started, trying to remember all the things she'd said and trying to figure out how to answer them in a way that wouldn't have her trying to kill me. "I know I have some issues I need to work on…."

She snorted and I could almost feel her rolling her eyes at me. "Well, that's the understatement of the century."

"….but so do you," I finished, cringing as I waited for her to blow up on me.

It never happened and, as I chanced another peek through the corners of my eyes, I found her sitting up and taking notice.

"I know I messed up back there," I sighed, my hands squeezing the hell out of the steering wheel, "and for what it's worth: I'm sorry I yelled at you and…kissed you. But you have to understand that I was scared to death when Emmett told me what happened. There Volturi aren't the kind of guys you want to mess with…." I let out another huge breath of air, letting my words hang in the silence between us for a while before I continued.

"I'd really like to be your friend, Bella," I went on. "I know we've gotten off on the wrong foot and the fact that I'm currently involved in my dad's legal team while you're covering his trials for a newspaper isn't going to help….but I want to try."

She stayed silent for a long time. As far as I could decipher from the look on her face not because she was angry but because she was contemplating my offer.

We were already driving along Lake Washington Boulevard by the time she finally spoke. "I want that too."

"What?" I asked, like an idiot.

"I want us to be friends," she clarified, before adding in a low whisper. "I've missed having that….you know…our friendship?"

I kept my eyes on the road, knowing that if I looked at her now I would be more lost than I already was. "So have I."

We remained silent for the remainder of the drive, though the difference between now and twenty minutes ago couldn't have been bigger. Where the air had been full of menace and resentment before, now we were just comfortably staring out in front of us, enjoying the new status quo that seemed to have been instated since we'd both voiced a wish to become friends again.

"So," I started nervously as I pulled into the Nordheim Court parking lot, Bella's soft voice leading me to the right building. "Where do we go from here?"

"I don't know," she chuckled, equally nervous.

"Do you want to have coffee with me sometime?" I suggested, flashbacks to the first time I'd asked her out for coffee – back when I was twelve years old and didn't know what the fuck I was doing – playing through my head. I'd been just as nervous then as I was right now and I wasn't even asking her out on a date this time. "I mean…..you don't have to feel obligated or anything…."

With my hands no longer engaged in driving my car I was now free to run them through my hair; a nervous trait that had did nothing to already remedy its natural state of rebellion. "I just thought that talking may be a good thing right now to…you know…sort out stuff."

She nodded. "Coffee would be nice."

"I've gotta be in court all day tomorrow morning but how about I give you a call when I'm done and we can set something up for the day after?" I hoped she wasn't seeing though my barely veiled attempt at getting her number as I presented her with my phone. I'd already added her name and the contact number for the university newspaper to my contacts after she'd barged into the office yesterday, but having her private number would be so much better.

She just smiled as she typed in her digits. "I see you've done your research."

"It's what half of being a lawyer is all about," I chuckled. "You see? Our professions don't really differ that much."

"I doubt that," she snickered, rolling her eyes at me as she returned the phone. "Oh, and before I forget: there's something you should probably know…."

"And what's that?"

"The Volturi are real," she blurted out as if it was the most normal thing in the world. "I spoke to their leader just now and he basically gave me an invite to join them." The words came out so fast that by the time I'd finally managed to process what she'd just said she'd already slammed the passenger door shut and was tearing down the parking lot with a speed that would have made Usain Bolt see green with envy.

I groaned, slamming my head against the backrest as I spewed a few choice profanities into the empty space she'd just vacated.

Why did she always have to do that?

Why did she always have to have the last word?

And then _she_ had the nerve to call _me_ out on _my_ behavior!

I huffed, throwing my car in reverse and speeding out of the parking lot, the adrenaline still coursing through my veins making it impossible for me to calm down or think straight.

Bella had spoken to the head of the Volturi and apparently they were as impressed by her discoveries as I was because I wasn't naïve enough to think that they'd invite her to join them just because her voice was all husky and sexy and shit.

What did this mean?

Well, besides the fact that Bella had just placed herself slap bang in the middle of the danger zone.

Up until now Jasper and I hadn't really known what to make of this whole Volturi connection. Bella may have seemed to think that those Volturi were the key to unlocking the murder case, but all she had to go on were two tattoos that may or may not hint at a relation between two murder victims and an article in the student newspaper that was over half a century old, neither of which were going to have the prosecutors from the District Attorney's office bowled over in amazement if we presented them in court.

Yeah, it was a huge coincidence that the same tattoo happened to pop up in two different murder cases but we weren't sure yet if it had any bearings on my dad's case. They could have both been members of a perfectly harmless student organization who found themselves in circumstances no person wants to be in.

Either way, Jasper and I had concluded that we still had a lot of ground to cover before we could even think about presenting our discovery to Garrett, let alone dad. Which was just what we'd set out to do after the initial shock of Bella's discoveries had worn off.

Right now, though, things had changed completely.

The fact that the Volturi were actively contacting Bella after she'd started asking questions was telling me that maybe she wasn't so far off from the truth. If anything it proofed that the Volturi were still out there and that she was rattling their cages and causing them some discomfort.

Though I didn't want to think about the implications of that realization.

Nor about what it meant in regards to my dad.

At least, not right now.

Not until I'd talked things over with Jasper.

If the Volturi were indeed some kind of fraternity gone wrong, at least Bella's information could offer us an angle to work our defense. If Jane moved in circles that were somewhat less than wholesome, it would be that much easier to get a jury to believe that dad was being set-up to go down for a crime he didn't commit.

In the best case we'd even find the guy who did it and exculpate my dad of all charges laid at his door.

_Wait. Back the truck up. What was I saying? Did I believe dad's innocent now?_

_Whoa! _

_When did this happen?_

Thank God the streets in this part of town were deserted because somehow my little epiphany had made me slam the brakes, my car skidding to a sudden stop as my body got pressed into the leather seats.

Knowing I was in no fit state to partake in traffic at the moment I pulled into the parking lot of Roosevelt High and got out of my car, the emptiness and calm around me helping me to get my shit back in order before my head would explode.

I leaned against the cold exterior of my car, staring into the brightly lit night sky as I tried to sort through the screaming chaos in my head. What had changed? Why was I now ready to believe my dad didn't kill Jane Foster when only minutes ago I remained skeptical? Had I ever even really believed my dad did it in the first place?

Or was it just that I'd wanted to believe it?

Because it was easier to hate him and shut him out than to open up and be vulnerable.

"Okay," I muttered, as I started pacing in front of my car. "Say dad didn't kill Jane. Then who the fuck did?" I'd found out a couple of years ago that saying the words out loud, for some strange reason, really helped to focus on getting answers even if it made you look like a deranged psycho.

The answer seemed pretty plain and simple: The Volturi. The legal ramifications of it, however, were not. I knew how difficult it was to go after an organization as a whole, the members – if indeed you could find out whom they were – had a tendency to either clam up or cover their own tracks and blames the others. Both tactics, if deployed properly, would mean that the most you could get out of a trial was a conviction under the RICO-act or, if you were lucky, conspiracy to commit murder. But even those two charges were harder to make stick than they looked.

"So we go after those Volturi," I muttered to myself, dragging my hand though my already messy hair. "But how?"

Ten passages around my car further and I still didn't have the answer to that one. I knew I was in over my head on this one. Since graduating out of Harvard Law I may have defended a few cases – and successfully so, I might add – but not even I was arrogant enough to think that I could go after a possibly criminal organization on my own.

I needed help.

A quick phone call later and I was back in my car, my fingers rapping impatiently against the steering wheel as I wove my way through the streets of Seattle, back to Jasper's house.

"I didn't think we'd have you back so soon," Jasper snickered as she opened the door, "but then again… you were in kind of a hurry to take off!"

I blushed guiltily. "I'm sorry about that. I hope I didn't offend your wife…." With everything that had happened between then and now, I'd almost forgotten that I'd torn out of their dining room like a bat out of hell without stopping to thank them for inviting me or even offering an explanation for why I had to leave.

He immediately dismissed my apologies with a wave of her hand. "Don't worry about it. Alice knows about your history with the girl, remember? She's totally fine with it. "

I smiled, suddenly thankful that I'd come clean about the fact that Bella and I used to go out. "Thanks, man!"

"Don't thank me yet," he snickered. "Alice is a true romantic at heart. I think she's already trying to come up with ways to get the two of you back together again."

I snorted, rubbing the still tender spot on my cheek Bella's hand had made contact with. "I'd like to see her try." If I was really honest, though, I would have to admit that not only would I like to – and I mean _really_ like to – see her try. I'd also like her to succeed.

"So," Jasper started, as he led me through the house to a small study. "What did you want to talk to me about? It sounded urgent."

I took a seat on the small sofa in the far edge of the room while Jasper planted himself behind his desk. "I don't think my dad killed Jane."

Jasper chuckled, rolling his eyes at me. "Took you long enough to find out. But tell me, what made you change your mind about your old man?"

"The Volturi are real," I blurted out. "Bella spoke with their leader tonight."

Jasper whistled, his eyes showing that he was impressed. "How did she pull that off?"

I chuckled. "I have no idea."

"Did she learn anything we could use?"

I sighed. "I don't know. She wasn't exactly forthcoming with information." I decided not to go into the fact that I'd kissed her and she'd slapped me. There was no purpose in bringing that up and, though I had a feeling Jasper was going to enjoy the slapping-part of the story immensely, I wasn't exactly eager to revisit it.

The kissing, however, was something I was going to revisit over and over again. In the privacy of my bedroom, that was.

And with the door firmly locked.

"What did you do to piss her off?" Jasper snickered.

I scowled. "Why do you think it was me?"

He rolled his eyes. "Come on, Cullen! You're not exactly a people's person."

"She's not so pissed off that she doesn't want anything to do with me again. I'm meeting her the day after tomorrow to talk," I replied with a shrug. "I hope she'll tell me a bit more about it. I did learn some things, though."

Jasper nodded for me to continue, his long frame leaning over the desk as he listened closely. "Bella was at Hamilton Park because she was meeting one of them. They must have caught on to the fact that she was investigating them and contacted her. How or why, I don't know."

Jasper scribbled a few things down on the legal pad in front of him as he listened. "Go on."

"Sometime during their meeting the leader of the Volturi must have contacted them because Bella spoke to him or her, but I don't get the impression that it was a face to face conversation."

"Did you ask her?"

"I didn't get the chance," I admitted. "She only told me about it after she'd gotten out of the car."

"Did she tell you anything else?"

"Not much," I replied on. "But I got the feeling there was something she wasn't telling me. And from what she told me….Don't you think it's strange that they are offering her a spot in their organization?"

Jasper nodded, his eyes tightening in concentration. "Go on."

"Why would they do that? " I thought out loud. "If she's getting too close, why let her in even further?"

"Maybe she's got something they want," Jasper chimed in. "Her dad's a cop, isn't he?"

I nodded. "But Charlie never wanted anything to do with 'big city life' and I doubt the Volturi will be very interested in the happenings of small town Washington."

"Her mother?" Jasper looked up from his notes.

I started to mechanically rattle off all relevant of the information I had on Bella's mom. "Renee Higginbotham, married name Swan. She was born and raised in Forks but moved to Seattle for college…."

Jasper sat up straight, his blue eyes boring into me as his hand stalled above the paper. "Don't tell me…."

"At that time she was dead set on becoming a nurse," I continued, wanting to bang my head against the desk for not thinking of this before. "She dropped out in her second year when she became pregnant with Bella and moved back to Forks, but I'm pretty sure my mom once told me that she and my dad met through his work at Seattle Grace. She might have been a volunteer or something…"

"Another tie to that hospital," Jasper muttered. "Do you know who we can get into contact with her?"

"I could ask Bella," I muttered, picking at a loose strand of fabric hanging from the arm of the sofa, "but it's kind of complicated."

"How so?" he asked.

I fidgeted with the thread until I heard Jasper impatiently shift in his seat. "Because of the way my breakup with Bella played out. I somehow doubt she's my number one fan."

"Ah," Jasper nodded. "So maybe it would be better if I'd make the call?"

I let out a humorless chuckle. "Yeah. I think that would be best."

Jasper narrowed his eyes at me. "That's why you and your dad don't get along, right? I didn't want to bring it up in front of Alice but…."

I shrugged. "It's part of it, yes. He's never come out and denied he was having an affair with her – or confirmed it for that matter – but then again, he didn't really have to. I found all the evidence I needed right in his office the same day I caught him with…that woman."

Jasper seemed intrigued, his hands continuing to fly over the paper as he scribbled away. "Evidence?"

"Photographs of him and her…and others," I sighed, "of a rather explicit nature."

"Explicit as in pictures of them …_naked_?" Jasper wanted to know.

"Worse than that." I sighed. "It's a long time since I've seen them but I know that in a couple of them Renee was masturbating while others watched and in others she was taken from behind by a masked man."

"Did you recognize…" Jasper started.

My mouth pulled into a tight line as anger started to bubble up inside of me. "It wasn't him," I hissed.

"Where there any photographs where your father and her mother engaged in any kind of sex acts together?" he went on, apparently oblivious to my discomfort.

I scoffed, my anger growing as again and again he forced me to go over stuff I just wanted to forget. "Are you getting off on this or something?"

"Of course not!" Jasper growled, "but if my client was having sexual relations with someone who may have been a member of a criminal organization then that is something I need to know. Can you imagine what would happen if those pictures come up in court and we're not prepared?"

"And why would it come up?" I snarled. "I doubt my dad would be willing to share those damned pictures with anyone – if he didn't destroy them in the first place. I don't see why all of this is even relevant to the case."

"And maybe that's why it's a bad idea for a son to be involved in his father's defense!" Jasper snapped. "Can't you see, Edward? Your dad has a connection – the _only_ connection as far as we know – to all three members of the Volturi that we know of. You _have_ to start thinking if maybe…."

"No." I shook my head forcibly. "My dad would never join a criminal organization. Not if it might hurt his precious career or his social standing."

Jasper let out a deep breath, his fingers smoothing a crease in the paper in front of him before he spoke. "Would he do it if he thought it would help him get to where he wanted to be?"

I shook my head. "He'd never take the risk." The words were spoken much more confidently than the feelings behind them were. I was pretty sure than my dad - straight-laced, never-do-anything-that-might-tarnish-the-precious-Cullen-name Carlisle Cullen – wouldn't even think about doing anything as risqué as joining a secret society, not even if it would bring more fame to his name. But then again….I couldn't be sure.

After all, it wouldn't be the first time I'd misjudged him.

Jasper must have finally taken pity on me or seen how preposterous his ideas were or something, because he pushed his legal pad to the side and looked up to me with a reassuring mile. "You're probably right, Edward. It's probably nothing."

I sighed, wishing this whole thing could be dismissed as easily as that.

"You know," Jasper's pensive voice broke the silence that lingered after his last words. "There's one thing that strikes me as odd about all of this."

I arched my brow. "You mean even more so than the whole secret society killing off young female med students?"

"Yeah," Jasper chuckled before turning serious again. "Where are the police in all of this?"

I frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Bella found all of this out through a former cop, right?" He continued when I nodded. "If this former cop knows about the Bree Tanner case, then the rest of the SPD must know it as well. So why aren't they investigating the Volturi?"

I shrugged. "Who says they aren't?"

"We have all the transcripts and witness statements. There's not mention of the Volturi anywhere."

My frown deepened as I tried to find a logical explanation for it. "Maybe they only stumbled across them in the last couple of days…like us."

Jasper shook his head. "Come on, Edward! Not to downplay Bella's capabilities as a journalist or anything – I'm sure she's very good at what she does – but if a college student can Google her way to the Volturi, then so can the SPD with all their resources and manpower."

"What are you saying?" I breathed, my mind scrambling to catch up with what Jasper was insinuating.

"I'm not saying anything," Jasper replied. "At least, not yet, not before we've spent a whole lot of time investigating this. It may just be that they are so convinced about your dad's guilt that they stopped looking at other options or – as you said – that they are looking into it but just haven't shared it with us yet…."

"Or that the Volturi are every bit as dangerous and powerful as the article stated and own the police," I finished for him.

My last words lingered in the air as we sat there for a few moments in a heavy silence, each of us trying to process the new developments in the case. Most of the times finding a piece of information that may serve to keep your client out of prison would be welcomed with open arms. Most of the times it made our job a whole lot easier.

Not this time, though.

"So what do we do now?" I finally asked.

Jasper shifted in his seat, his eyes gliding over his notes. "We need to talk to Garrett, first thing in the morning," he answered, his voice confident and decisive. "Then we talk to Carlisle and see what he has to say about all of this."

I smirked, knowing that this was probably going to be easier said than done.

"Then we go to Forks and see what that ex-cop Bella has been speaking to can teach us about the Bree Tanner murder case," Jasper went on. "Do you have any contact information on the guy?"

"No," I sighed, "but I could ask Bella when I see her this week." The prospect of having to bring up her boyfriend's father was about as appealing as getting my teeth pulled out since bringing up the father might lead our conversation to the son and how that motherfucker had wormed his way into Bella's pants.

Not a topic that was high up on my list, that was for sure.

The thought that another man had had his hands all over Bella made me want to find the guy and kill him. I knew that I'd been the one who ruined things between us and I'd never expected Bella to stay on her own for the rest of her life, but being confronted with the evidence was harder than I thought it would be.

I hated it.

_I hated him. _

"Good." Jasper nodded, oblivious to the murderous turn my thoughts had taken on. "If you get his phone number then maybe we could drive out there this weekend or the next and get a head start. That way if the guy comes up with anything good, we can swing by the Cold Case Unit on Monday to take a look at the evidence."

"Sounds like a plan," I answered, barely stifling a yawn as I rubbed my tired eyes.

"Look," Jasper suggested, "why don't we call it a night for now? I don't think we'll be making any more progress on the case right now seeing as we're both tired as fuck and I don't know about you but I could really use some sleep right now. It's been a long day…."

I could only nod, my own body feeling as if it had been around the world and back in the span of the last twenty-four hours.

"Thanks for listening, Jazz," I yawned, as Jasper saw me out.

He shrugged, grinning at me from behind a few stray locks of hair as he kicked a football that was lying around on the porch. "If we're going to be working together we might as well make the most out of it. And besides….I'm starting to think that deep down you're kind of okay after all."

I grinned back. "Kind of?" I knew this was as close to a compliment as I was going to get, but I couldn't help riling him up a bit.

"Yeah, kind of," he drawled. "Now get the hell out of my house. I want to kiss my babies goodnight and spend some quality time with my wife."

I rolled my eyes at him but gave him what he wanted all the same. It was strange, I thought as I drove away back to my cold and lonely bedroom at my parents' house.

For the first time in my life I envied a family man.

**- x -**

"Do you want to join me and Alice for some lunch?" Jasper asked as we met up in front of the court room I'd just come out of.

I rubbed my face, already feeling like I could crawl onto a bench and fall asleep no matter how many five year olds were running amok around it. "Won't that, I don't know, cramp your style or something?"

Jasper snickered. "Do you think I would have invited you if it would?"

"True," I chuckled. "So where are we going?"

"To school," Jasper announced, adding an explanation only when he saw my puzzled look. "Alice called me to say she's too busy to leave school grounds today and so she and Emmett are organizing some kind of picnic in his classroom. It's only a few blocks from here."

I let him lead the way, wondering what it would be like to see Emmett hanging around in his natural habitat, even though the thought of so many kids per square mile kind of freaked me out.

The receptionist just smiled when she saw Jasper walk in, which made me think this may not have been the first time he came to visit his wife at work, a thought only strengthened by the way Jasper seemed to know his way around the place.

Which was no small feat. The place was like a fucking maze littered with little girl crap.

Through the windows on either side of the corridor I could see kids hard at work gluing fall leaves and other autumn crap onto paper, drawing pictures that gave no hint as to what they were supposed to depict and generally being really busy learning all kinds of things.

Until I made my way to Emmett's classroom.

I had no idea what the guy was supposed to be doing, but that the moment it seemed like he was being bitch slapped by a pack of squealing little girls, the little boys looking on with equal parts amusement and envy.

"Okay, class," I could hear his voice thunder through the wall. "Now that Maisy, Cloe and Nadine have shown us what they would do if they'd ever come face to face with the Trunchbul, how about we get some more reading done? Matthew, would you care to have a go?"

A little boy, probably Matthew, blushed fire engine red before dropping his eyes to the book that was lying flat on his table. He began stumbling his way awkwardly through a passage of Mathilda where that awful headmistress made a boy eat a whole damn chocolate cake all by himself.

My stomach growled at the mention of food. _On second note…that headmistress may not have been that evil. _

"Do you know where I can find a bathroom that would fit an adult in this place?" I asked, my need for food momentarily giving way to the demands of my bladder and the desire to be out of this damned corridor when the bell rang.

"Down the hallway and to your left," Jasper shrugged as poor Matthew continued to stutter through his reading.

I breathed a sigh of relief when the bell rang only minutes after I'd safely made it into the bathroom the urinals hanging far too low for comfort and the smell of 'little mishaps' and years of tight budgets wafting up at me the minute I opened the door. _If I didn't need to pee that bad, I might have thrown up._

I was just finishing my business and tucking myself back into my pants when the door opened and little Matthew walked in, his eyes growing huge when he noticed me standing around. "I'd better leave you to it," I muttered awkwardly, hoping the guy wouldn't report me as some kind of pervert who stalked the little boy's room or something. "By the way, you did good in there…you know, with the reading?"

"Thanks, sir" little Matt nodded, smiling uncomfortably.

I took that as my cue to leave, not wanting the little boy to have an accident because I was keeping him or anything, the corridor now almost empty of scary hordes of kids as I made my way back to the classroom.

I could hear Emmett's voice reverberating though the room the minute I opened the door. "…..And then they started sucking face like the world was coming to an end!"

Alice was hanging on his every word, her attention so rapt that she didn't even notice me coming in. "They didn't!" she gasped.

They were all sitting around his desk, a whole banquet of sandwiches, salads and drinks spread out in front of them as they ate…and gossiped.

Emmett's eyes lit up as he saw me, a huge grin plastered on his face as he went on as if I wasn't even there. "You should have seen it Ally. It was like I'd landed myself slap bang in the middle of some kind of porn movie!"

"It wasn't like that," I hissed, grabbing a handful of little sandwiches from the table and popping them into my mouth one at a time – anything to keep my mind off of strangling Emmett.

"Oh really?" Alice mused, her vibrant eyes zoning in on me. "Then what was it, Edward? Because to me it sure sounds like one hell of a kiss."

"It was." I sighed, my mind drifting back to the moment my lips made contact with hers. It was everything I'd ever imagined our first kiss to be – passionate to the point of getting drunk on it and more addictive than any kind of drug known to man – and yet it was nothing like it at all.

Because I'd always expected it to be a mutual kind of thing. _Not me practically assaulting her._

"And I didn't even get to the best part yet," the indefatigable Emmett McCarty went on. "Right when I though he was going to throw her down on the hood and 'get-r-done', she pulled back and slapped him, right across the face."

For some reason Jasper and Alice both found that very amusing, my 'esteemed' colleague turning an unhealthy shade of bluish purple as he leaned against the desk. "She did what?"

Emmett snorted. "I think pretty boy got off light, though. From what my Rosie tells me, that girl can pack a punch that would send Evander Holyfield to the ground."

I rolled my eyes as I flopped myself into a vacant chair and grabbed a book from the table, hoping the words of Ronald Dahl would cover my embarrassment. "Just let me know when you guys are done making fun of me. I'll be here, catching up on my gossip."

"Poor Edward!" Alice cooed, scooting her chair right up to mine as she ruffled my hair. "So, what are you going to do to win back the love of your life?"

Jasper groaned. "Alice!"

"What?" she replied innocently. "It's not like I'm telling a lie."

She turned back to me then, her vibrant eyes piercing though every bit of resistance I had. "Am I?"

I didn't bother to deny it. I may not have been so sure about my feelings for Bella that I was ready to put a label on them, but what I knew was that, though she may have been able to let go and move on, I had not.

She still owned me.

I wish I could say the same thing about her.

"She hates my guts," I sighed. "Our breakup….it was as nasty as they get. I doubt she'd ever let me anywhere near her heart again."

"Have you ever tried?" Alice suggested. "I mean, I can't read minds or look into people's souls or anything but from what I hear about her, it seems to me that she still feels _something_ for you besides hate or anger."

"I've tried…" I started, still hoping to weasel my way out of this mess before Alice would start planning my wedding.

She would have none of that, though. Boy, for someone so small she sure could be persistent. "Have you ever succeeded?"

She had a point there. Maybe if I just….

No. There were other obstacles in our way.

"She's got a boyfriend." I cringed at the thought of another man enjoying what I'd never have.

"So?" Alice challenged. "Boyfriends come and go. As long as she's not married, she's free to be pursued by other men, as far as I'm concerned."

"Yeah," Emmett chimed in. "After all: she kissed you back, remember? She can't have been too in love with her boyfriend if she did that! And from what Rosie tells me the guy's a complete tool and things aren't going too great for them at the moment anyway."

"See?" Alice squealed. "Go get her! What are you waiting for?"

I chuckled. "It's one in the afternoon, Alice. She's probably in class right now Even if the woman would be mad enough to take me back after everything that happened between us, I doubt she would be too happy if I showed up at her classroom and begged her to take me back in front of all her classmates and teachers."

"It would be romantic…." Alice all but swooned at the thought, which wasn't exactly what I'd planned.

"Yeah," I snorted. "And stupid."

Alice pouted, crossing her arms in front of her chest as she geared up for her come back. But I was quicker. "And I doubt your husband would be very happy if I cozied up to yet another reporter!"

"Hey!" Jasper chuckled after receiving a scathing look from his dear wife. "Leave me out of this!"

Alice looked mightily chuffed as she turned her attention back to me. "There's nothing holding you back, Edward. If you are willing to go out on a limb and take the first step, who knows what will happen?"

I walked out the school not much later, still wishing I shared Alice's confidence when it came to my love life.

But still, as bleak as my prospects were, there was also a tiny glint of hope, planted by Alice's words of encouragement and Emmett's statement about the state of her relationship with the hated boyfriend.

Maybe I still had a chance.

Maybe my luck could change.

Or maybe not.

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_**Thoughts?**_

_**Follow me on twitter for updates on my updates, the sounds or pictures that inspired me when I was writing and other random musings. I'm **_**missbaby25**_** over there.**_

_**As always: reviewers will get teased. **_


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. I am in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise, I just use their creations to have my wicked way with them. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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_**This story wouldn't be what it is without my wonderful beta, **_**The Real Teacher**_**, holding my hand and correcting my many errors. Thank you so much!**_

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**- 17 -**

"What the hell?" I groaned, sitting up. It was still dark outside so it must have been the middle of the night.

A time where people should be at home, in bed and sound asleep…like I was.

Not banging on the door like it was the fucking Apocalypse.

"I'm coming! I'm coming!" I yelled as I moved through the silent house, the absence of my roommates in all of this telling me all I needed to know about who was banging on the door.

Angela and Ben.

Apparently they'd locked themselves out of our apartment.

_Again. _

"What happened?" I yelled as I fumbled with the keys in the lock. "Did Ange forget her keys again? Oh and you'd better not be kissing or groping each other when this door opens or I….."

The rest of that sentence died on my lips as I opened the door. "Edward."

He looked up, his emerald eyes pooling with liquid sex. "Bella."

I swallowed hard, the timbre of his voice enough to bring me go all hot and mushy on the inside. "W-what are you doing here?"

"I couldn't sleep," he breathed, his insanely long sex-fingers rubbing his temple. "I couldn't stop thinking about you….that kiss…..I _have_ to have you."

I had never felt so torn before in my life. Part of me wanted to reach out, grab his dick and tear it away to feed it to the dogs. The other part, however, had quite different plans with that very same appendage. _Naughty plans._

"You had me once." I finally managed to force words past the constriction in my throat. "But you threw me away."

He closed the gap, his hands appearing out of nowhere to cradle my face. "Never again," he stated firmly, his eyes closing as if he was ashamed of all the emotions whirling inside them. "Never again will I be so stupid."

I let out a shaky breath, trying to fight the tears from spilling. "You _hurt_ me."

He leaned his forehead against mine, gently rubbing the tips of my nose with his. "And I will spend forever trying to make up for it."

Any resistance I may have been able to put up until that point crumbled like the walls of Jericho, my lips crushing to his with a want and a need that only found his match in him.

Clothes were discarded in a frenzy and hands grabbed and tongues fought for dominance, our feet moving on their own accord to a place much better suited for passion than the living room floor.

He laid me down gently, in the middle of my bed, his perfectly sculpted chest shining in the light of the moon as he lay down beside me, perched up on his elbow as his eyes drank in the sight of my body, naked and on fire for him.

"Jesus, you're beautiful!" he mumbled, the tips of his fingers gliding over my skin. "How did I ever think I could life without you….without _this_?"

"You must have lost your mind," I gasped as he started placing wet kisses along the expanse of my stomach, his tongue lapping at my skin sending tingling sensations all through my body.

"Please," I begged, rubbing my legs together to find some tension. I needed him. More than I needed Air. More than I needed to stay angry at him. More than I needed answers….._So fucking much. _

"Tell me, Bella," he purred. "Tell me what you want and I'll give it to you…."

His lips dragged lower and lower until they stopped right over the tiny little salamander tattoo on my hipbone that I prayed Charlie would never find out about. "Tell me what you want me to do to you…."

"I want you," I groaned, my body writhing under him. "Your mouth…._on me_."

"Bella," he whispered, his voice husky with need. "I…."

"Yes," I half-moaned as his lips hovered inches from where I needed him so much that the need for release became all but unbearable. "Please…."

He looked up at me, his green eyes burning a trail across my overheated skin as he opened his mouth, the words coming out, however, not making any damn sense to me. _"Johnny's in the basement, mixing up the medicine. I'm on the pavement, thinking about the government. The man in the trench coat, badge out, laid off says "He's got a bad cough, wants to get it paid off …."_

What the fuck?

I sat up and I looked around my boring, cold and – most notably – empty room as Edward's smooth, velvety voice gave way to Bob Dylan's whiny drawl.

_It was all a dream._

And my phone was ringing.

I'd just dreamed about having sex with my ex, I was horny as fuck, my hand – which had somehow ended up inside my underwear in the midst of all this – begging to offer some relief and my _fucking_ phone was ringing.

Mom.

I should have known she'd be there to cockblock me.

I picked up the offensive device, my body still roaring with a pent up sexual energy that would never find its release. "Mom?"

"Hey there, baby girl!" my mom's way too chipper voice blared in my ear. "How's life treatin' ya?"

I groaned, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. "I'm doing great, mom. Well, apart from the fact that someone just woke me up at six in the fucking morning!"

"I taught you better than to use language like that!" my mom scolded. "And you need to buy yourself a better clock, baby. It's nine o clock and time to get up! Don't you have classes this morning?"

I rolled my eyes, once again wondering how my mom had ever made it this far without ending up killed or institutionalized. "Just believe me mom, it's six AM in Seattle."

It was only after the words left my mouth that I realized that with mom back from her trip to India, we shouldn't be having these kind of problems. "Wait….mom," I muttered, shifting my tired ass into a sitting position. "Where the hell are you?"

"I'm in Jacksonville, silly!" she all but squealed.

"Jacksonville?" I racked my brain, trying to remember if my mom had brought up moving to Florida before but either she hadn't or my mind was still asleep because I couldn't come up with anything.

"I met a man in Dharamsala…" mom started. "You should meet him. He's tall, cute and so athletic….I think he's the one, Bella!"

I groaned. "Right. Just like all the others." It wasn't like my mom was a slut or anything because she most definitely wasn't, no matter how many times Edward may say she was, but when it came to men her judgment was somewhat….clouded. She'd go on a date with a man every sane person could see was a complete dud, come back all starry eyed and loved up and claim he was the one, only to dump his ass as soon as the pink fog clouding her judgment had lifted and she finally saw him for what he really was.

"Psah!" she scolded. "Don't be such a Debbie Downer!"

I chuckled. "Trust me, mom. If you make it past the three week mark I'll be as ecstatic about the guy as you are."

Mom sighed. "Oh ye of little faith!"

I shook my head, still laughing at my mom and her latest infatuation. "So who is he? How did you guys meet"

"His name is Phil," she gushed. "He used to be an up and coming baseball player until some horrible loser took out his left kneecap in some sort of illegal tackle or whatever the heck they call it. Now he coaches his son's little league team while he studies to get his BBA. You see, he dreams of opening his own seaside restaurant one day."

"Wow," I breathed. I hated to admit it but I was actually impressed. This guy seemed so different from the usual sort of unemployed, flaky losers she used to date.

"I know!" mom squealed. "And you haven't even seen him! He's so good-looking it's crazy! And his penis is a work of art. The things he can do to me…."

"Mom!" I yelled. "What did I say about over sharing on the details?"

"What?" she snickered. "I thought you'd be happy to know how good your mom is being taken care off!"

"I am," I huffed. "I just don't like hearing about it in such detail."

"So how did you meet him?" I asked in order to shift the conversation back into safer and much less vomit-inducing waters.

I held the phone a bit further from my ears, anticipating another one of my mom's squeals. "It was so romantic! I was staying at this retreat in the mountains for a week of intense meditation and was having a really hard time because you're not really allowed to talk in there and all…."

"What?" I gasped. "You managed to keep your mouth shut for a whole week?"

"I know! I can hardly believe it myself!" she chuckled. "Anyway….On the third day I was going through a really tough time wanting to say something or just scream really loud, when I spotted this new guy who must have come in late the day before because I didn't see him at dinner and…well, it was the only proper meal we had all day so I'm pretty sure I would have seen it if he'd been there before…"

I drifted off as my mom launched into a detailed account of the eating habits in a Buddhist meditation center, only snapping back into the here and now when she went back to answering my question. "So the next day I notice him again and well… I'd be lying if I wouldn't say he wasn't making it very hard for me to concentrate on meditating and being one with the universe…"

"Did he make a move that day?" I asked. "Or did you?"

"Neither of us did," mom chuckled. "I couldn't very well walk up to him and say something because that would only get me kicked out of the sanctuary so what was I supposed to do?"

I frowned. "Then how did the two of you get together?"

I could almost hear my mom's smile through her words as she launched into an explanation. "He was only there for a couple of days, which was what I should have done if I'd thought things through. So on his last day during our morning session he slipped me a note saying he hadn't been able to take his eyes off me since he'd set foot in the sanctuary and asking me to come meet him in the garden after the ritual if I felt the same. We've been together ever since."

"That's so sweet!" I couldn't help but feel touched by my mother's story. I still wasn't convinced that she and this guy Phil would skip off into the sunset and grow old together, but at least it made for a great story.

"I know!" she squealed. "We spend the rest of the holiday lounging on the beach in Goa but then he had to get back to the States and his little boy which is cute but it also made me sad because he had to leave and I wasn't sure if he wanted to keep seeing me once he was back on American soil seeing as he's a bit younger than I am and lives on the other side of the country and all…"

I chuckled as my mom interrupted the steady stream of words for a much needed breath of air before taking off again. "So on his last night he comes up to me and asks me if I want to come with him and, well…that's how I ended up in Jacksonville."

"With a new toy boy and a stepson," I finished for her.

"Yeah," she chuckled, "though you don't really notice the age difference all that much. He's an old soul and I….well; I never really grew up, did I?"

"I plead the fifth!" I laughed. "You sound really happy, though, mom."

"I am," she answered with a happy sigh before picking herself back up again. "So how are you? Do you have a lot of classes this semester? Work at the paper picking up?"

"I'm fine mom," I said, taking a deep breath before finally diving in with the subject that had kept me awake for most of the night. "It's funny you should mention the paper, though…."

"Funny? Why?" mom asked. "Did you uncover something good? Oh, let me guess: the dean is a closet transsexual and was caught with his skirt around his ankles!"

Her laughter fell silent when she noticed she was the only one who seemed to enjoy her remark. "What's up, sweetie?"

I sighed, her silence and chipperness speaking volumes as far as I was concerned. _She didn't know yet._ "When did you get back, mom?"

"The day before yesterday but I've been asleep for most of the time since and when I was awake I was ….well…_busy_," my mom replied hesitantly. "What's going on, Bella?"

"Carlisle Cullen has been arrested for the murder of a young medical student and I've been covering the case for _The Daily_," I blurted out.

"Carlisle's been arrested?" mom cried, the panic in her voice immediately telling me that she _knew_ that there was more to this case than just a murder. "How…."

"That's not all," I interrupted her, before the torrential downpour of questions could take off. "I've been talking to a bunch of people and discovering some things and…well….your name came up yesterday."

There was silence for a long time, so long in fact that I was afraid we'd gotten disconnected or something. "Mom?"

There was another lengthy pause but, right when I opened my mouth to speak again, she finally said something. "I-I'm still here. It's just…"

She sighed, her voice sounding so strange…so wrong. "You know I've always left you free to become who you were meant to be and discover the world without restraint or prejudice, right?"

I frowned, wondering where this was leading. "Yes?"

"Well, right now is where I become a strict mother and tell you to do something, even though it goes against everything I hold dear in life."

"Wha…" I started, only to be interrupted mid-question.

"I'm telling you to walk away from this," her voice was stern and decisive – two things I'd never previously encountered in her – but there were also fear and concern.

"Mom…." I began.

"No, Isabella," she immediately cut me off. "You don't get to hackle with me about this. I'm not asking. I'm _telling_."

"Then at least explain to me why," I pleaded, my hands shaking as the worst of all possible scenario's quickly started to become more and more real.

There was another silence and another deep sigh before mom's reply came in a shaky voice. "I-I can't. It would only lead to….no….I can't."

"Then I guess you've just confirmed what I already knew," I muttered, the pain as I ran my hand through the knots and tangles in my hair almost a welcoming distraction from the turmoil inside my head. "Your name has fallen in a murder case and as much as I can understand why you'd want to bury your head in the sand…I don't think that is going to work for much longer."

"I know," my mother's small, sad voice answered. "But I just want you to be safe. Is that so much to ask?"

"I'll take care of myself, mom." My voice barely registered above a whisper, making me wonder whether or not she could even hear me. "And Rose, Ange and Ben have my back in case things would ever get rough." I could barely resist the urge to add another name to my list of defenders but I figured that Edward's name wouldn't do me any good if I wanted to calm my mother down.

And God knew I wanted to.

We continued to argue back and forth for the better part of half an hour, my mother begging, pleading and ordering me to walk away and me growing more frustrated by the minute.

"Just let it go, mom!" I groaned, after her umpteenth attempt to get me to back off the case. "I want to do this, not just because of what it could mean for my career but also because of _who's _involved. Even if I hadn't been put on this case, I still would have followed it….still would have looked into the things I discovered…"

"I'm not going to win this, am I?" There was another sigh, this time in resignation. "God! Sometimes I wished you didn't take after your father as much as you do."

I looked at the clock, noticing that it was almost seven and time to get showered, dressed and off in search of sustenance. "I've got to go, mom. I wish….I'll be careful."

"I know you will, baby girl," she replied. "I love you."

**- x -**

The conversation with my mom lingered as I got ready for school and stayed with me even when I should have been paying attention to what my professors were trying to teach me. Today was a busy day for me. I had another boring round of Ethic's in the morning and a seminar with professor Norrell in the afternoon, both kind of requiring I bring my A game.

So I did my best to pay attention as professor Rhodes hammered on about some case in which a journalist had chose between protecting his source or ending up in jail, or as professor Norrell told us about the year she spend in Ethiopia covering the horrors that went on in Darfur. Both were subjects that would have fascinated me at any other day.

Not today, though.

Today my mind was fully occupied by the fact that my mom used to be involved (almost certainly as a member) with the Volturi, an organization that was getting more creepy with every new discovery I made about them. The tattoos…the blind fear that seemed to take hold of everyone as soon as the word 'Volturi' was even mentioned…..the creepy sound of Dominus' voice….my mom's involvement…

It was completely freaking me out.

Why in earth's name did she join? She, who always shied away from organized…_anything_ for as long as I knew her.

I knew that my mom – unique and eccentric in every fiber of her being Renee Higginbotham – might have accidentally found herself stumbling into something like the Volturi, thinking there might have been free beer or fun company or something….But to join….to actually become a member of a secret society with all its codes and secrecy and stuff?

That was _so_ not her.

And – come to think of it – why would the Volturi even want her on board? Mom may have fit the bill when it came to being smart and working in the medical field but she didn't exactly handle authority very well (and I got the feeling that that Aro dude really got off on being in control) and she couldn't keep a secret to save her life.

And, not that I was a connoisseur on all things secret society or anything, but that didn't seem like something they were looking for in an aspiring member.

I sighed, knowing that the answer to all my questions would probably never come. I knew better than to bring the subject up again the next time I spoke to my mom and not even I was crazy enough to call _Dominus_ and ask for an explanation.

Creep.

It wasn't like I had the means to do so anyway. Mr. Anonymous might have been too shit scared to remember I had his phone but he probably wouldn't be losing any sleep over it anyway. I'd tried it last night, pressed every damn button on the thing but all it gave up was one single number: the one _Dominus_ had been calling from last night.

My heart had pounded in my throat as I dialed, my free hand clutching my pillow for safety as it rang and rang and rang. Finally, on my third try, some dude picked up who – amongst the other insane and unasked musings of his inebriated mind – informed me that the number belonged to a payphone on the corner of Broadway and Madison.

Which meant that the phone – as far as I was concerned – was a dead end.

I met up with Rose after class in the library and – after some much needed grumbling – she finally calmed down enough to shift some of her stuff around on the table to make room for me.

"But don't think you can ever pull a stunt like that again, Swan," she warned me, giving the people around us, who were shushing her for disrupting the peace, the finger. "You're much too talented to get yourself killed like the first damned amateur that came along."

I frowned. "Are you actually giving me a compliment?"

She huffed, narrowing her eyes at me as she pulled one of her textbooks towards her. "Don't get used to it."

I hid my smile behind the book I was rifling through, my mom and the Volturi temporarily forgotten as I tried to get caught up with all of my class assignments.

We worked side by side for over an hour, none of us speaking much except for a random question about something we were reading or a request to borrow the other's book. It was a habit we'd developed over the years and one we were both comfortable with, so much so that I even had trouble studying without Rose sitting next to me at times.

Professor Norell had given us an assignment on wartime press coverage. We were supposed pick a renowned war correspondent and track down and analyze every piece he or she had written about a certain conflict. We were free to decide which era and what kind of conflict to choose as long as it provided us with enough material to complete a thorough review.

After much deliberation I'd decided to go for one of the oldest known independent war correspondents, namely W.H. Russell. He'd been sent by _The Times_ to cover the Crimean War back in the 1850's. His reports, by current standards, might have been fairly tame but the impact was huge and his dispatches helped to bring the realities of war – both good and bad – home to the general public and caused the British government to take action in making sure the wounded troops were being cared for, their main caregiver a female by the name of Florence Nightingale.

My nose scrunched in disgust as I read about the conditions at the hospital in Scutari where wounded soldiers had been brought to recover from their wounds. The numbers of casualties were staggering but – much to my horror – I found that the amount of soldiers dying from infection or hygiene-related illnesses was ten times as high. No wonder the government had been more than a little miffed when Russell's first stories came out. With the way they were treating soldiers they had cause to be embarrassed…and then some.

And no wonder the wounded soldiers had welcomed Florence Nightingale and her troupe of nurses as nothing short of angels. _"She is a 'ministering angel' without any exaggeration in these hospitals, and as her slender form glides quietly along each corridor, every poor fellow's face softens with gratitude at the sight of her. When all the medical officers have retired for the night and silence and darkness have settled down upon those miles of prostrate sick, she may be observed alone, with a little lamp in her hand, making her solitary rounds." _

I didn't even realize I'd read the words _The Times_ had used to describe Nightingale and her work out loud until I felt Rose nudging me in the side.

"Hey, weirdo!" she chuckled as I looked up. "Your phone's ringing."

"Huh?" I looked up from my book, images of wounded soldiers fighting for their lives and their freedom in Balaclava slowly giving way to those of students hunched over their tables amidst stacks and stacks of books.

She rolled her eyes, repeating the message as if she was speaking to a complete moron. "Your phone? Ringing?" She pointed at my trusty old Blackberry which, true enough, was vibrating all over the place, the display lighting up with an incoming call.

I smiled, recognizing the name. "I'll be back later."

Rose nodded, silently agreeing to watch over my stuff before I marched out of the library, trying not to see the annoyed faces of the people around me as I answered the call. "Hello?"

"Good afternoon, Bella," Edward's velvety voice greeted me making my cheeks heat up instantaneously as I remembered last night's dream. _And boy had it been a good one, I was convinced that, had it not been for my mom and her cockblocking ways, it would have been the best one yet. And that was saying something, considering how often Edward Cullen and his magical hands and peen were making an appearance in my dreams lately._

I shook my head, pulling myself out of my lustful thoughts as Edward went on. "I just finished my last session in court so I thought I'd give you a call now, before I get caught up in something else. I hope I didn't get you into trouble?"

"Nah," I chuckled. "Though I may have pissed off a few people in the library just now, but that's nothing I haven't done before. So I take it you want to meet up to discus my…uhm…recent discoveries?"

There was still a very uncomfortable tension between us, caused by everything that happened and all that had been left unsaid. It was making me fidgety and annoyed since it reminded me that, as much as I may have been dreaming about his long fingers and the heat that man was packing underneath all of his stuffy lawyer clothes, he was still the boy who left me and broke my heart. And, unlike dream-Bella, in real life he would have to do a whole lot more than just go down on me to gain forgiveness.

If, in fact, I would ever be ready to forgive.

"Do you know a good place?" Edward's voice pulled me out of my thoughts. "I haven't been back in Seattle for long so…."

"How about you meet up with me at the Café Umbria on Occidental Avenue?" I suggested. "It can't be too far from where you are right now and it has the best coffee and Panini I've ever tasted."

"Sounds good," Edward agreed. "So you'll meet me there in…."

I looked at my watch. "About an hour?" An hour would give me plenty of time to pack my stuff, drive downtown and – most important of all – prepare myself for what was about to take place.

"That's perfect," he answered in a heartbeat. "I'll meet you there."

His words shouldn't have made me so excited, but they did. And apparently I was completely unable to hide it.

"What has you so chipper, Swan?' Rose grinned as I made my way back into the library after ending the call. "Good news?"

I shrugged. "I'm just going to meet up with the Cullen team to give them the low down on last night's events."

She grinned, her smile both devious and knowing as she studied me with her hands underneath her chin. "So in other words: you've got a coffee date with Edward Cullen. Ha! I knew it!"

"It's not a date!" I scowled. "We're not even friends and I think for it to be a date you'd have to at least _like_ the person you're meeting."

"Judging from what Emmett told me last night, you most definitely like the guy!" Rose snickered.

"Shut up!" I scowled, earning us some more dirty looks from other students in the library. "That was….that was nothing."

"I believe you're blushing, Miss Swan," Rose teased. "And, though you may be able to fool yourself for a while longer, I know you've got the hots for _Killer Cullen_'s son. Can't say I blame you, though. I looked him up online the other night and damn he's hot!"

"I guess he is kind of good looking," I muttered, shoving my stuff into my bag in a desperate attempt to get the hell out of dodge before Rose would have me admitting more than I was willing to accept about my feelings for Edward.

"Kind of?" Rose snorted. "I don't understand why you would have chosen to stay with that greasy mutt for all those years when you could have had that!"

I sighed, remembering once again why I'd settled for the greasy mutt. "Well, I don't know. I'd rather date a plain looking guy who loved me and makes me happy than pretty one who breaks my heart."

I could see by the guilty look on Rose's face that she'd forgotten all about that. "Sorry, babe. I forgot what that fucker did to you."

I shrugged, slinging my messenger bag over my shoulder. "Maybe I should do the same."

My words were still echoing through my head as I stood in front of the Café Umbria about an hour later, watching (and salivating) as Edward languidly took a sip from his coffee as he waited for me to arrive.

Could I really start afresh with the guy?

After what happened last night (and the night before that and the night before that….really the list could go on forever) I could no longer deny the fact that I still had feelings for him – feelings of the deep an meaningful kind that couldn't just be set aside by reason.

But I wasn't quite ready to let my guard down yet.

Not when he was still bouncing back and forth between 'nice Edward' and 'cocky, insufferable Edward'.

No matter how many orgasms the guy gave me in my sleep.

I steeled myself, giving my more horny side a stern lecture of proper, professional behavior as my eyes continued to drink in the fine sight of Edward Cullen sitting at a table, his fingers tapping against the surface as he looked around.

"You can do this Swan!" I hissed at myself. "You're just going to walk in there and act all cool, collected and journalisty. You're not going to stare at his lips, his fingers or any part of his body that will land you right back in the danger zone. And you will not, under any circumstance, do that thing where you stare at his crotch to try and find the bulge."

By that time I was starting to get funny looks from passersby, a blush spreading across my cheeks as one woman craned her neck to look inside and see who the hell I was talking about. _She'd probably heard that last bit about the bulge. _

When I looked back, his eyes had found mine, my professional resolve immediately slipping as his green eyes held me spellbound from the other side of the glass.

"You can do this," I muttered to myself, repeating my new found mantra as I closed the remaining distance to the door and went inside, determined to remain professional.

But really…

Who was I kidding?

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_**I'm sorry this chapter is a little later than usual. I've had an awful day, starting with the heavens bursting while I was cycling to work and ending in the theft of a senior class history test I'd just spend hours compiling. Everything in between pretty much sucked too. (insert sad panda face)**_

_**But enough about me. **_

_**How'd you like the conversation Bella had with her mom? And the dream? Do you think she can walk in there and act all cool as a cucumber or do you think she will crumble at the first crooked grin Edward flashes her way?**_

_**As always: reviewers will get teased. **_


	19. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. I am in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise, I just use their creations to have my wicked way with them. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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_**This story wouldn't be what it is without my wonderful beta, **_**The Real Teacher**_**, holding my hand and correcting my many errors. Thank you so much!**_

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_**Thank you everyone for the lovely words of commiseration last week. Reading all of your lovely words made my bad day a whole lot better and it made me feel so grateful for being a part of such a wonderful community. For those of you who care: after some crafty scheming on my part I managed to catch the thieving little hobbit who stole my senior test. Apparently she's very sorry and won't do it again. **_

_**But that's enough about me. Let's get back to Edward and his quest for absolution. **_

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**- 18 -**

"Would you believe that fucking asshole Lalenkov?" Jasper fumed as soon as we made it down the long corridor, out of earshot from the judge or that fucker Lalenkov. "Who the fuck does he think he is? God? Lady Justice?"

I sighed, letting the echoes of out footsteps on the marble floor resonate as I tried to reign in my anger. "I don't know, Jazz. But I can see that the guy is going to be a problem."

Jasper nodded. "I've seen a lot of eager prosecutors since I passed the bar, but this…." The buzz of conversation surrounded us as we rounded the corner and found ourselves in the middle of the main entrance hall, with people beneath us buzzing in and out of the courthouse; some happy, some wary or fearful but most just indifferent.

He shook his head, his expression turning into a scowl when Demetri Lalenkov blew past us while talking animatedly on a telephone. "It's like he's waging some kind of personal vendetta against Doctor Cullen."

The two of us, along with Lalenkov and some of his minions, had been cooped up in judges' chambers for the last few hours haggling about witness lists, motions _in limine_ and pretty much everything else that precedes the parts of a trial the public sees and hears about. Pre-trial motions were usually a stage in a criminal trial I'd enjoyed immensely during the few times Charlotte Young had let me assist back in Boston.

_Usually_ this stage was fun.

The defense would get peek at the hand the prosecution had decided to play and adjust its own strategy accordingly. You'd get to sharpen your argumentative skills when negotiating back and forth about evidence and witness lists with an impartial judge deciding the outcome and generally at the end of the day you'd walk out of the room with a good sense of what would await you once the public part of the trial would start up.

Today was different, though.

And not in a good way.

"Lalenkov?" I growled. "Lalenkov is just some generic loser who's taking his frustration out on whichever poor fuck is up against him in court. What I really want to know is how he managed to get Judge Wyndham to do his bidding."

Jasper frowned, probably remembering as well as I did, how Judge Wyndham had brushed all our motions and objections off the table as if they were nothing. "Are you sure their names don't sound familiar?"

I shrugged. "I don't think I ever heard of either of them prior to my dad's case but then again, that doesn't say much. I've kind of made it my business to stay as far away from my dad's life as I could for the last couple of years, remember? You'd be better of asking dad himself."

"I did," Jasper answered, his lips pulling into a hard line. "Not that _that _got us very far."

This morning, while I had been stuck in court defending the drunk drivers, public intoxicated and those in possession of small amounts of illegal substances, Jasper and Garrett had made the drive up to Woodway to have another 'chat' with my father, this time without me being there to call him out on his asshole behavior.

I didn't know if they'd actually gone as far as to plan it out, but what Jasper did tell me was that both of them hoped that – without me hovering on the fringes – my dad might actually say something that would help his case, instead of stubbornly stonewalling the people who tried to get him out of the mess his own stupidity had landed him in.

"Did he mention _anything _that might help us keep his ass out of the electric chair?" I asked, though I already knew the answer.

"Not really," Jasper answered. "He said he thought he heard the Volturi mentioned once or twice by some of his colleagues but he claimed that was it. When we confronted him with what we'd already found out about them and our strong suspicions that they may be involved in the murder of Jane and Bree, he just shrugged and repeated that he didn't know anything about them."

I rolled my eyes. I could just imagine how that meeting had gone down, seeing as I'd seen my dad in hot denial-mode about a dozen times since he'd been arrested. "Do you think he's speaking the truth?"

"Can't say," Jasper shrugged, as he set his briefcase down on an empty bench to retie his shoelaces, " though I doubt it. Seriously, the man has one of the best poker faces on this side of the Atlantic. If he gets out he should consider a career change…."

"Did he say anything about Renee?" I asked, against my better judgment, as I parked my tired ass on the same bench.

Jasper's lips curled into a small smile. "Now that's when things got interesting."

My brow arched as I looked up, my eyes scrunched as they studied his face. "Interesting?"

"He squirmed." Jasper spoke the words as if they were some kind of great victory, which, come to think of it, it might have been.

I chuckled, shaking my head. "I bet he did."

"For a moment I thought we were getting somewhere," Jasper went on, "but when Garrett repeated his question he just stated that she might have been a member of the Volturi but he couldn't know for sure because they never spoke about it and he never really knew her all that well."

I snorted. "Of course."

"We also had a little chat with your mom on our way out."

I looked up, hopeful for once. "You did? What did she say?"

"She promised she'd talk to him." Jasper shook his head, his eyes trained to his fingers. "I think she's as desperate to get him to talk as we are….Especially after we prepared her for the worst."

"You told her the prosecution was going to seek the death penalty against my dad?" I snarled, a few heads turning in our direction as I jumped up from my seat. "Didn't you think I might want to be present for that?"

"Sit your ass back down, Cullen," Jasper ordered, waiting with a stern expression until I complied with his demand before continuing. "Of course we thought of that and really, we would have preferred to have you present to console her, but your mother isn't stupid. She was born into a family that has dictated the local legal landscape for over a century so she has a pretty good grasp of all its ins and outs."

I sighed. "She figured it out by herself." Over the course of the last few days my mother's initial happiness at seeing her husband released to the safety and security of their home had slowly turned into a sadness that was too fucking painful to see. Her eyes no longer sparkled but were hollow and the few pounds she'd put on had vanished as quickly as they'd appeared.

I didn't have to see Jasper's head inclining slightly to know the truth of my words. "And dad knows she knows?"

"I think so."

"And still he doesn't say anything?" I was beginning to hate dad more with every second that passed and every breath I took. _How could he just sit back and watch his family fall to ruin and the woman he was supposed to love and cherish as long as she lived, fade into a shimmer of the woman she used to be? _

"He looked really scared, Edward," Jasper offered. "I think that if he does know something, he's keeping it a secret to protect you and your mom."

"Well boo fucking hoo!" I snorted. "So basically that means we're fucked. We can't defend a guy who seems to be dead set on getting convicted."

Jasper sagged down on the bench, his body language telling me everything I needed to know even if his words remained optimistic. "I wouldn't say that. We've got the information Bella provided us with and maybe even more if the meeting with Billy Black comes through. Who knows? We may be able to force a breakthrough…."

"And Scarlet fucking Johansson might walk into this courthouse proclaiming an urgent desire to trade in that loser she married for my fine ass," I jested, rolling my eyes at him. "Face it, Jazz. We're screwed."

"I thought you only had eyes for Bella Swan?" Jasper chuckled, rubbing his hand over his five o clock shadow. "Anyway…. at least they dismissed some of the lesser charges."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, well, it's not like he's going to serve a couple of hours of community service for resisting his arrest on death row, is he?" Even the thought of what would happen if the prosecution got their way made my blood turn cold. My dad and me might have had our issues – and God only knew we still had them – but standing there and listening as a public prosecutor served the judge with a notice that they were seeking capital punishment against my dad….It kind of made everything else seem insignificant.

Jasper must have caught on to some of my thoughts because he forced his lips into a smile as he patted my shoulder. "We won't let it come that far."

I shook my head, not so easily swayed by a few comforting words. "That stuff may work on your clients but I know better, remember?"

And therefore I knew that there was a very real possibility that a jury would convict my dad of aggravated murder in the first degree, a crime punishable by death.

"Maybe the reality of today's ruling will finally make Doctor Cullen see sense," Jasper sighed. "He may have known this was coming, but to have it actually happen…."

"Not likely," I answered with a wry smile. "My hope is that my mom will finally have enough of him trying to get himself killed and kick his ass into next Wednesday. Or finally do the right thing and divorce his ass before she gets pulled into this mess even further than she is right now."

"A divorce is just about the last thing we need right now," Jasper grumbled. "We need your family to form a united front in the media. If she divorces your father now, it's going to look like she believes he did it."

I leaned back, letting my head rest against the wall. "I know."

"Let's just take it one step at a time," Jasper suggested. "We'll talk to your dad again tomorrow and see where that gets us. Then we'll get the team together to discuss a revision of our strategy now that we know how the DA's office is going to fight this case and then, come crunch time, we try our case before the jury, hoping they'll do their job right and exculpate your dad."

He smiled, rolling his eyes at me before I could even say something which kind of took the 'fun' out of any type of smartass comeback I would have hit him with. When he realized there was going to be no snide remark from me he stood and gathered his briefcase. "Are you going back to the office with me?"

"Nope." I shook my head, digging into my pocket for my phone, a smile breaking through before I could do anything to stop it when I read Bella's text message. "I'm meeting Bella downtown for coffee and I probably head straight home afterwards."

I looked up, trying to gauge Jaspers reaction. "Unless you need me at the office for something?"

He chuckled. "And have my wife kill me for cock blocking her plans to get the two of you back together? I don't think so!"

He shook his head, the mention of his wife lighting a shimmer into his eyes that made my heart clench in jealousy. "Besides….if I actually make it out of the office on time for once, I'll still be home on time to give Jack his bath."

If I wasn't still so shocked at the stuff that was going on in my mind at that moment, I might have laughed at the transformation playing out in front of me. It was kind of awesome how a guy could morph from tough ass lawyer into doting father of two in a matter of seconds. It sure wasn't something I'd held Jasper capable of when I first sat in his office a little over a week ago.

But my mind was still reeling from the fact that – for the first time in my adult life – I found myself wanting to commit myself to one woman for the foreseeable future. _And even the unforeseeable future, come to think of it_

I rubbed my chin, trying to put myself in Jasper situation. A nice little house in a family friendly neighborhood, a couple of kids running around and making a mess of the place and a wife scolding me because I spent time at work that should have been spent at home.

For the first time in my life that prospect didn't make me want to throw up and run into the nearest bar to pick up some cheap looking slut to fuck.

On the contrary.

It found me wanting to make that happen.

Provided, of course, that the wife doing all the scolding had long brown hair and matching eyes and listened to the name of Bella Swan

_Or, even better: Bella Cullen. _

I was shaken from that very pleasant avenue of thought by a loud snort from my esteemed colleague. "Just call her, Cullen," he chuckled. "But remember: let anything slip about the case and I'll see you fired from the firm myself, regardless of your mother's maiden name."

I pulled my face into a smirk, trying not to let him get on my nerves. "Noted."

**- x -**

An hour later saw me sitting at a small round table at the Caffé Umbria, waiting for Bella to join me.

I noticed her the minute she appeared through the glass of the storefront windows, her hair gathered into a messy bun and her face flushed from the brisk pace she was walking at as she marched up to the door, pausing for a moment to help an elderly couple exit the building before she walked in.

I shifted in my seat, raising my hand to catch her attention as I let my eyes glide over her body; dark blue coat, green cotton scarf, brown pants and what my mom would call 'sensible shoes'.

She looked lovely.

So lovely.

"What are you looking at, Cullen?" she snickered as she pulled back a chair and took her seat.

I cleared my throat, trying to think of a good excuse for ogling her and – praise the Lord – coming up with one at the last moment. "That coat," I mumbled, pointing at the blue trench coat she was in the process of hanging over the back of her chair. "I remember you had one just like it back in Forks."

She looked puzzled, her eyes drifting from me to the garment. "Hmm," she pondered, my pants tightening around the front as she pulled her bottom lip in between her teeth. "Come to think of it…you may be right, Cullen! I can't believe you remembered, though, aren't guys supposed to not care about what a girl wears unless she's in the process of stripping out of it?"

She arched her brow, letting her eyes glide over my charcoal grey suit and the navy oxford button-up and matching, slightly lighter blue tie I had on underneath. "Are you gay?"

It was a good thing I wasn't drinking anything because I would have sprayed like the fucking Trevi Fountain if I had. "What the fuck, Swan? First you accuse me of being a manwhore and now I'm suddenly supposed to be gay? What's next?"

She merely shrugged, tiny sparks of amusement dancing in her eyes. "You could have been. I mean, between all the suits and the living with your mom…."

"….and after all, gay men kiss women all the time," I finished for her, rolling my eyes.

She rolled her eyes. "That could have just been some kind of oversight or something. I dunno…."

"I'm not gay," I grumbled, and for once I was actually happy for the intrusion as the waitress made her way over to our table to collect Bella's order.

We were silent as the sound of people talking and laughing cloaked us in a wall of sound and the staff flittered about the place, out waitress soon returning with a vanilla latte for Bella and another double espresso for me.

"You wanted to share some information with me?" I finally broke the silence, running my hand through my hair to relief some of the tension I was feeling.

"I wrote it all down," she stated, pushing a paper filled with tight scribbling in Bella's trademark chicken scrawl across the table. "I thought that would be easier….you know….with your colleagues and stuff? Anyway, everything you need to know is in there."

I arched my brow. "Shouldn't you have been paying attention in class?"

I inwardly cursed myself as her eyebrows pulled into a scowl. "Do you want it or not?" she grumbled, her hand reached over the table to take back what she'd just offered me.

"No, no," I was quick to reply. "I want it. I was just being stupid. I'm sorry."

She rolled her eyes but her lips pulled into a small smile none the less. "Apology accepted."

I let my eyes glide over the words a few things jumping up at me right away. "This Mr. Anonymous you write about," I started, letting my fingers glide over the first mention of his name. "Do you have any idea who he might have been?"

She shook her head. "None whatsoever. But I do think he might have been a medical student."

My scrunched in concentration tightened as I watched her. "Why?"

She shrugged. "Ben, one of my roommates, thought he'd heard someone he works with mention the Volturi and I asked him to set something up for me to find out if the guy could be of use."

I shook my head at the thought of Bella marching into the medical faculty like some mad Virago on the prowl for stray members of the Volturi. "And was he?"

She chuckled. "Not really. He clammed up like an oyster the minute I spoke the word 'Volturi' and I think he might have even crapped his pants."

I made a note of that in the margin, adding the details Bella had just given me. The realization that once again her handwriting and mine appeared side by side on a page brought a smile on my face. Just like the old days when we used to pass little notes along for the other to read while in school.

"What?" Bella asked, looking at me with a bemused smile.

I shook my head, dismissing the matter without an explanation. "So this Mr. Anonymous?" I asked, trying to steer the conversation back into safer waters. "Do you think he was…."

"No," she interrupted me. "I would have recognized his voice, for starters, and they had a completely different posture and height."

I nodded, my eyes scanning the bottom half of the page, the part dealing with her telephone conversation with Aro or _Dominus _as he liked to be called. "_Dominus_?" I thought out loud.

Bella snorted. "Yeah, I know. I got the feeling the guy really got off on being in control. I also think those Volturi are really big on hierarchy because everyone seems to be completely shit scared of this Aro guy."

"Do you think this Volturi organization may be something like the freemasons?" I wondered.

She shrugged. "That or a kind of mafia."

I nodded. It would how they had seemed to have remained invisible all these years and explain why everyone was so scared of them.

Everyone including my father.

I shook my head as I read through the final passages of her account. She'd gone out there, alone, with nothing but the summons of an anonymous source from a possibly criminal and very dangerous organization and the prospect of receiving information.

"I know," Bella sighed as if she'd read my mind. "And really, I don't have a death wish or anything…..I just thought it would be alright. I mean….Hamilton Park may be a bit remote but it's still in the city, right? If they wanted to kill me they would have suggested some quiet country lane with no houses near…." She bit her lip, the tissue around her teeth turning white with the pressure exerted upon it.

"Stop doing that," I sighed, resisting the urge to reach across the table and brush her lip out from between her teeth. "You'll bite through your skin if you keep that up and I know how much you hate the smell of blood…let alone the taste of it."

She looked up, her eyes wide and filled with…_something_. "You remember that?"

I smiled, my hands brushing imaginary crumbs from the tabletop. "There's so much about you I remember…." I stopped myself before I said too much and even now I might have overstepped the line.

Bella looked at me, her mouth hanging slightly open as her eyebrows pulled into a cute little frown. _But she didn't speak._

And I wasn't sure whether that was a good or bad thing.

I waited with baited breath for her to speak but the silence lingered and lingered and lingered until it became too much. "I should probably head out," I muttered, rising from my chair without really looking at her. "I promised my mom I'd be home for dinner."

Not that I relished the prospect of sitting across from my dad for the duration of a three course meal, especially not now that I knew he'd just messed up _another_ chance to keep himself out of prison, but at that moment everything was better than facing the cold hard rejection I was sure would come my way.

"H-how is Esme?" she asked her voice tight and strained.

"As well as can be expected," I shrugged, throwing enough cash on the table to cover the bill and a generous tip. "She never really lets on how much she's suffering even if we can all see it in her eyes."

I almost let out a very girly gasp when I felt her warm skin making contact with mine, a small hand brushing lightly over mine before it was withdrawn again. "Your mother always had an almost unhealthy kind of strength."

I smiled. "That's a nice way of putting it."

"So what are you going to do now?" Bella asked. "I mean, I now you can't really tell me anything about the case, but do you at least have an angle you're working on?"

I forced a smile, Jasper's warning immediately playing over inside my head as I thought of a way to answer her question. "Actually, we're going out to Forks next week to see if Billy has some addition information on the Bree Tanner case."

"That's great!" Bella chirped. "So when are you going to pick me up?"

I rolled my eyes. "You're not going."

"Oh, really?" she challenged me. "Then be prepared to be surprised when one Bella Swan decided to visit her dear old dad next weekend. Oh and by the way….how do you think you're going to contact Billy to set up a meeting when you don't have his phone number?"

Judging by the smug smile on her face I got the feeling that Billy Black wasn't listed anywhere in the phone book. "Besides, I don't think two strangers popping up on his doorstep without a warning are going to get much out of him. It would be much better to have someone around whom he actually trusts."

I sighed, knowing that one way or another she was going to sit in on our meeting. "Fine," I grumbled, figuring she'd better tag along with me and Jasper so that we could keep an eye on her.

"Great!" she beamed. "I'm already looking forward to it.

I couldn't help but smile back, her joy still being as infectious as it always had been as suddenly I remembered something Alice had said to me last night.

_If you never try, you'll never know. _

"Sooooo." I let the word trail off, stalling for time as I worked up the courage to ask my ex-girlfriend – who, by the way, probably still hated my guts – out on a date. "I'm thinking that maybe we should get together to lay down some ground rules or something….you know, so we don't end up killing each other?"

She snorted, shaking her head in irony as if she was on to me. "You're afraid my dad is going to kill you the minute you set foot back into his jurisdiction, aren't you Cullen?"

"No?" She had a point though. Her dad was scary and – not to forget – he had a gun and knew of more than enough places to hide a body.

"Don't worry your pretty little head," she teased. "I'll keep you safe."

"I think we should still get together, though," I persisted.

"Okay," she muttered, playing with the end of her sleeve.

"Great!" I was on pins and needles, the part of me of which I was beginning to doubt whether it was at all sane doing the happy dance, while the firmer part of me reminded me of the consequences of cozying up to the enemy and assaulted me with visions of an unforgotten past. I shushed it, pushing the firmer me to the side as I embraced my inner lunatic. If insanity was the path to happiness, then who needed his full mental capacity anyway? "So….. tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow?" she muttered, her face betraying shock and confusion.

I frowned, hoping my eagerness hadn't spoiled my chances. "Too soon?"

"No, not at all," she was quick to reply. "Dinner?"

I was unable to bite back the grin "I'll pick you up at eight?"

"That's fine by me," she shrugged and the only way for me to hide my happiness was to walk away, even if it was the last thing I wanted to do right now.

And she seemed to be of the same mind, or at least to some degree. Because she was the one who spoke next. "And Cullen?"

She smiled at me as I turned , making me incapable of uttering any kind of intelligent answer. "Yeah?"

Her eyes narrowed in warning as she took a firm stance. "Just so you know: this is not a date."

It may not have been, but it was a start.

**- x -**

I woke up the next day to the artificially merry voice of my mom. "Rise and shine, Edward! It's past seven AM already and you don't want to be late for work."

"Fuck!" I groaned, my brain slowly coming up to speed. "Seven? I must have…." The rest of my words trailed off into a groan as I remembered how I'd overdid it on the booze at dinner to compensate for the crappy atmosphere in the room and stumbled upstairs only after my mom had pried my glass out of my fingers.

I must have forgotten to set the alarm.

So much for my resolution to drink less and act like the grown man I was.

"Don't you think it's time to get your lazy behind out of bed and into the shower?" mom scolded, all but kicking me out of the bed. "And don't think I didn't hear what you just said! What did I tell you about uttering language like that in my house?"

I snorted. "Just in the house? So it's okay if I do it in the garden?"

One look at my mom's face had me running into the bathroom to get a quick shower and shave - meanwhile thanking God and my mom for already laying out a pair of fresh boxers so I wouldn't have to face my mom wearing nothing but my skin – before peeking my nose out of the door again to find my mom humming softly while she laid out my clothes. "You have way too many black suits," she scolded, running her finger over a black lamb's wool Armani suit. "Looking at your closet one would think you were an undertaker instead of a lawyer. Would it kill you to add a little color to your wardrobe?"

"I just happen to like black," I grumbled, sidestepping my mom and the navy pinstripe suit she was holding and opting for one of my black ones instead. "And anyway, my shirts have enough color in them."

My mom's little snort as she watched me step into my pants and a light blue dress shirt told me she didn't exactly agree with me.

"So…uhm…I need your help," I muttered as I tied my tie around my neck, figuring a chance of subject was in need – for her as well as me.

"You need my help?" mom repeated animatedly. "With what?"

I fidgeted, knowing the kind of reaction I had in store for me as soon as I spoke the words. "I'm kind of going out to dinner with this girl…a friend…..well, not that kind of friend but…well close enough for me to go and grab some food with her…nothing romantic though….."

My mom's eyes lit up like a Christmas tree. "You're going out on a date!"

Leave it to her to filter out the words she didn't want to hear and turn it into the one thing she desired most: the first step on the way to see me married and on my way to provide her with a whole garrison of grandchildren.

"Don't order the wedding cake just yet, mom!" I chuckled. "The lady was very adamant that this was not a date."

My mom's eyes shone with mischief. "A lady, huh? It's the first time I heard you refer to a woman you're…._connected_…. to as a lady."

I shrugged, shoving my phone into my briefcase and straightening my tie. "There's a first for everything."

"I guess there is," she mused. "Well, don't worry. I'll book a table for you and this…_lady_ friend of yours at a nice little restaurant in town and let you know the name of the place as soon as I get the reservation."

I smiled, giving my mom a light kiss on the cheek. "Thanks mom! You're the best."

"Tell me something I don't know!" she chuckled, rolling her eyes at me. "Just remember to use precaution, my dear. I might have expressed my wish for a grandchild in the past, but I'd really like to see you married first."

I groaned, wishing the earth would open and swallow me whole. "Bye mom!"

She stood on the threshold, waving at me until my car disappeared behind the trees, a wide grin lighting up the otherwise grim and drizzly morning.

It made me happy to see her forget her pain, even if it was just for a small moment.

And for the first time in God knew how long, I felt pride in something I'd achieved, knowing that it was me who made her.

I hoped that God also knew how much I needed that sense of achievement to get me through another day of trudging through minor cases in court and endless stacks of witness interviews, evidence logs and other legal documents while Jasper and Garrett undertook another destined- to-fail attempt at getting through to my dad.

As happy as I had initially been to become a part of his defense team, I was now finding that standing by the sideline while my colleagues tried to talk some sense into a man that appeared to have taken leave of his senses really sucked.

I felt powerless.

Granted, part of this feeling was my own doing. After our fight a couple of nights ago I'd gone out of my way to avoid getting in a situation like that again, as much for my own sake as for my mom's.

I just couldn't do it.

Between those damned pictures still flashed back into the forefront every time he entered the room, making it virtually impossible for me to have any kind of normal conversation with him, the fact that he wouldn't tell me what the hell was going on and the added 'bonus' that he was sabotaging his own defense team had my hackles rising the minute someone even mentioned his name. So when Garrett had requested I keep a low profile from now on, only discussing my dad's case at home if he or mom brought it up, I couldn't have been more eager to please my boss. It would have been pointless to speak to him anyway since it was perfectly clear that he wasn't going to say anything useful.

I sighed; the thought of finding some nice little place for me once again entered my mind, as it had done more than once over the last couple of days.

I could see it in his face the moment Jasper walked past my office, the blurry image the frosted glass showed me still clear enough to show a look of disappointment and frustration.

Not that it surprised me.

I stalled for exactly one hour and twenty minutes, but after I'd reread the articles I'd pulled off _Lexis Nexis_ on the Bree Tanner Case, rearranging my desk and clicking the 'refresh' button on my e-mail inbox for a conservative estimate of about fifty times. I finally gave up after I accepted that there was really nothing to keep me occupied and made my way over to Jasper's office, the open door inviting me in and obliterating the last excuse I might have had – 'he's with a client right now and cannot be disturbed' – to keep myself from going in there.

Jasper's back was turned to me, his eyes staring out the floor to ceiling windows and down at the world below but I could see a small smirk appearing the minute he spotted my reflection in the mirror. "What took you so long?"

I merely shrugged, taking a seat across from him. "I take it my dad didn't budge?"

Jasper pursed his lips. "Not quite. I think the fact that the prosecution is seeking the death penalty against him might have finally made him see the gravity of the situation he's in."

I sat up straight, my brows shooting all the way into my hairline. "So he spoke?"

The tiny spark of hope I felt got crushed when Jasper shook his head slightly. "Not exactly."

"What the fuck does that mean?" I growled, picking at a few pieces of fluff that stuck to my jacket sleeve.

"He told us that if we can prove – and I mean as in _evidence_ – that there was another person at his flat that night, he'll tell us all."

I snorted. "He knows about 'reasonable doubt', right? He knows that if he's got information that would make it plausible for another party to be out for Jane Foster's life, we could get him out." I looked up, pausing to see his reaction to my words. "Doesn't he?"

"He's scared to death," Jasper answered, suddenly looking way older than his thirty-five years. "I thought so yesterday but I've _seen_ so today. I think that whatever he knows about the Volturi is both explosive and dangerous and he fears what might happen if he rats on them."

I jumped up, needing an outlet for my anger. "But if he keeps his mouth shut they are going to kill him anyway!"

Jasper remained calm, waiting until I'd blown off most of my steam and sat down again. "He knows, Edward, but I think he still trusts us to find a way around all of this."

He held up his hand to stop me before I could start pointing out how useless that was. "Who knows? Maybe we can get enough dirt on the Volturi by ourselves to make it stick in court. We've come a long way on our own as it is…"

I chuckled darkly, shaking my head. "You really are a the-glass-is-half-full kind of guy, aren't you?"

He grinned. "I get that from my wife. So, you wanna grab a few beers at the pub? It's ten to six but I think we could get away with making an early retreat after all the hours we've clocked over the last couple of days."

I arched my brow. "What? You don't have any kids to bathe today?"

"Nope," he laughed smuggle. "Alice and the kids are staying at a friend's place for a sleepover tonight so I've got the house all to myself. So what do you say?"

"I kinda have plans already," I shrugged. "I'm meeting someone for dinner in a few." Try as I might, I couldn't stop my lips from tugging into a smile as I thought about my dinner date with Bella.

My mom had called me midway through the morning to announce she'd made reservations for us at Maximillien's, some cozy little place in the Pike Place neighborhood as per my request. Though I knew she was dying to find out who I was having dinner with, she'd refrained from asking questions about it, choosing instead to refer to her as 'my lady'.

_I wish._

Still, I hoped that this night would be a new start for Bella and me. I'd made some horrible mistakes in the past and done things that no boy should ever do to a girl, let alone to the girl he claimed to be in love with.

And Alice was right.

It was about time I owned up to those mistakes and started making amends because I knew that if Bella and I were to have any kind of relationship together, be it friends or lovers, we needed to deal with the past first.

With that thought in mind I braved the brutal rush hour traffic and made my way over to the University District moving at the snail's pace that the overpopulated roads of Seattle's city center dictated, the stately high-rise buildings of the business district soon giving way to a more domestic scenery before finally revealing the now familiar outline of the brightly colored modern buildings of the Nordheim Court student housing estate.

I parked the car and made my way over to the building where Bella lived, my heartbeat accelerating with each storey the elevator climbed until it finally halted at the eleventh floor.

_Bella's floor._

I breathed a sigh of relief when I found the landing empty. For a moment I'd been dreading a bump in with that horrible Tanya chick and her messed up tit job. I had a feeling that, after everything that past between us, that meeting wouldn't go over too well.

And besides…Bella had only just decided that killing me might not have all the advantages she thought it had before. I was fairly sure that if she found me schmoozing with Tanya I would be out of her good graces for good.

Not wanting to tempt the fates I rushed over to the door of apartment 11C, the one I'd seen Bella and her friends disappear behind on that disastrous night, and knocked, my surprise when the door shot open almost immediately to reveal the peculiar looking small woman who'd helped pry Bella and Tanya apart before.

"Hi, Edward!" she beamed; though there was something in her eyes that made my balls retreat upwards into my body for safety.

"Erm…hi?" I answered, rubbing my hand through my hair. "I'm here to pick up Bella?"

Her grin widened to almost alien levels as she stepped aside. "Sure! Come in! She's almost ready."

There were only few things I'd rather do than step into an enclosed space with the human incarnation of the Cheshire Cat but in my effort to make a favorable impression on Bella I found that I had no other choice.

"Take a seat," she suggested, waving over to the comfy looking sofa in the far end of the room as if she was a stewardess pointing out the emergency exits. "She'll be here in a second which gives us just enough time to get to know each other a little."

My face must have looked as panicked as I felt and I already regretted venturing behind enemy lines and making myself comfortable by assuming a sitting position_. Sun Tze, the genius who'd brought us _The Art of War_, would probably have shaken his head in disappointment and reminded me of the phrase 'sitting duck'._

"Soooooo," the girl, whose name – as I faintly recalled – was Angela, dragged. "Care to explain why you left my best friend all alone in some creepy, animal-infested forest after breaking her heart?"

I almost choked on my own spit, the battle for breath that followed giving me some time to compose myself. "She told you about how things ended between us?" I gasped.

She shrugged. "Don't you think that after the whole WWE Smackdown thing in the hallway, girlfriend over there…" She pointed in the direction of where I assumed was Bella's bedroom, "…..didn't owe us one hell of an explanation?"

I groaned.

_Of course. _

Angela snorted. "Indeed. Now explain."

I shook my head, crossing my leg over the other to protect my 'assets'. "There's only one person in the world I owe an explanation and you aren't her. If she cares to share that explanation with you, it's fine by me, but she deserves to be the first to hear what I have to say. Don't you agree?"

She narrowed her eyes at me. "If _you _think you can use your velvet lawyer tongue to sweet-talk me into surrender then you don't know me at all."

"And if you think you can strong-arm _me_ into surrender then you don't know _me_ at all," I replied, arching my brow as I let my eyes glide over her small frame. "Or _yourself_."

She narrowed her eyes at me and I unconsciously shifted a little further away from her on the sofa as she pointed her finger at me. "I'm telling you now, mister. If you ever hurt Bella, I'll personally come and kick your butt and then I'll rip off your balls and keep them in a jar on my mantelpiece. Bella may seem all tough and unaffected but….."

"…she's perfectly able to fight her own battles, thank you very much," Bella's voice sounded from the direction Angela just pointed in. "I thought you knew that by now."

She looked gorgeous. As she strolled into the room, her black wide-legged pants made her legs look like they went on forever and the hunter green long-sleeved shirt she'd paired it with showed enough skin on her shoulder to reveal a sliver of black lace. I could feel my pants tightening once again as I stared at her, my throat drying and my palms moistening. _Dear lord, it was like our first date all over again. _

I scraped my throat, feeling like I should at least say something. "You look…..nice?"

Angela snorted, obviously not thinking too much of my efforts to break the silence, while Bella bit her lips. "Thanks?" her voice sounded as unsure as I felt. "I didn't know what kind of place you were taking me and judging by what you have on…." She waved her hand at me and I remembered I was still in my work clothes.

"You look perfect," I assured her. "I came straight out of the office. That's why…"

"Oh." She smiled, her fingers fumbling with the sleeve of her shirt as she licked her lips, her cheeks staining pink as she covertly tried to look at me through her lashes. "That's good."

I smiled, still unable to stop my blatant ogling. "Yeah."

"Oh for heaven's sake!" Angela groaned, obviously thinking the time ripe for an intervention. "Are you ever going to get out of here and eat or are you fine just standing here making googoo eyes at each other all night while you try to finish a complete sentence? Because if you do, Ben and I need to revise our plans."

And just like that the spell was broken but if there was one thing I'd learned from that moment it was that Alice was right.

_I was in love with Bella Swan. _

In fact, though my deplorable words and actions might have indicated otherwise, I was beginning to wonder if I'd ever fallen out of love with her.

I sighed, running my hand through my hair as we entered the elevator after saying goodbye to Bella's little friend.

_This was going to be a long night. _

_

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_

_**Sooooo. How did you think Bella fared? Are you feeling sorry for poor Edward being attacked left right and center by the women around him whole his dad continued to dig his own grave? Or do you just think that this is karma coming back to bite him in the ass?**_

_**Next up: part one of their (non) date and some very important and long-anticipated confessions. **_

_**As always: reviewers will get teased. **_


	20. Chapter 20

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. I am in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise, I just use their creations to have my wicked way with them. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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_**This story wouldn't be what it is without my wonderful beta, **_**The Real Teacher**_**, holding my hand and correcting my many errors. Thank you so much!**_

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**- 19 -**

"This is good," Rose muttered, never taking her eyes off the sheet of paper in front of here. "This is _really_ good."

"Thanks," I spoke, my inner voice making preparations to launch into a full out, arms-flailing happy dance. Nevertheless, outwardly I continued to bite my nails, knowing not to get too excited before she'd finished the article. "Did you get to the part where….."

"Be careful on the accusations," Rose warned me as her finger tapped a section near the end of the article. "I'd already had a bunch of lawyers breathing down my neck once and that's not something I want to revisit real soon."

I frowned. "You think I should water it down?" I'd written the article mostly as a factual account of everything I'd found on the Volturi so far, including the names of Bree Tanner and Jane Foster and the very similar way in which they'd met their end. Towards the end of the article, though, I couldn't resist venturing a bit further into the field and hinting at the possibility of this avenue of investigation leading to a killer other than Carlisle Cullen.

"I think we're in the clear as far as the Volturi are concerned," Rose cautiously remarked after a few more moments of thought. "Not that I don't think they can make life extremely difficult for us if they want to, but I think you handled that bit very well. You're not accusing anyone or saying anything our readers wouldn't have come up with on their own."

I nodded. It was exactly what I'd been going for with my article.

"I'll let professor Norrell take a look at it before we go ahead and hand it over to the printers," Rose went on, "but I don't think she'll have a problem with it."

"But…." I had a feeling there was going to be a 'but' in all of this.

"What you do need to rework is this last paragraph where you basically accuse the police of being narrow-minded, corrupt idiots," Rose added. "Somehow I don't think that would go over too well and besides…it kind of undermines your whole article in a way."

"Aren't they?" I fumed. "So far they've only been investigating evidence that points to Doctor Cullen when this…" I waved over to the paper still lying on the table… "is all happening right in front of their fucking noses. Hell, Billy even called them to point their ignorant noses in the right direction but did they listen? Noooo."

"Point taken," Rose chuckled, holding up her hands in surrender. "Still, I don't think the Dean would like us very much if we went ahead and published this article as is and we need him to pay for all of this…" She waved her hand over to the newsroom where several other reporters sat hunched over their desks, spellbound by the light shining form their flat screen computer monitors.

"Fine," I grumbled, yanking the paper off the table. "I'll go change it."

"You're the best!" Rose cooed. "And I really think this is your best article yet. I just need to you water down the last paragraph a little and it will be perfect. _Really_."

Rose's smile was all contentment but there was a something in her eyes that made me sit up and take caution as she leaned back in her chair, lazily folding her hands in front of her stomach. "Now that we're done with the business end of our conversation, would you mind telling me what it is that has you running around the place like a bride on the morning of her wedding? You're scaring the junior reporters."

"I'm having dinner with Edward Cullen tonight and even the thought alone freaks me out," I blurted out.

Rose actually looked shocked for a few moments before she did that thing with her head when it shakes a bit, signaling that the inhabitant of it has literally been shaken back into consciousness. "One: if it freaks you out so much, then why in Sam's name did you agree to have dinner with him in the first place? Two: you and _Edward Cullen_? I thought we were still trying to come up with new and exciting ways to end his miserable life?

"I know," I whispered. "It's just….we've been spending some time together lately and I'm kinda starting to believe that he may not be as big of an asshole as I always thought he was."

"May I remind you of the fact that he left you out in the woods by yourself with no way to get back home?" Rose countered. "That, to me, is as big of an asshole as anyone can get."

"I know all of that!" I muttered. "It's not like I need a reminder or anything….It's just that when he's being nice and not dumping me or going on about our parents he reminds me so much of all the good things we had together and how much I've missed all of that…how much I've missed _him_."

Rose let out a deep sigh, her eyes sad as she studied my face. "What are you going to do? Because, Bella, I think it's very important that you decide all of this before you meet him for dinner tonight."

"I don't know, Rose," I groaned. "It's like my brain and my body are yanking me into completely different directions!"

A small smile tugged on her lips as Rose answered me, her hands folded underneath her chin as her large violet eyes rested on me. "I can understand that! From what I've seen of him, the guy is hot as sin. So….what does your body want to do with Edward Cullen?"

I should have known that Rose would go straight for the kill, my cheeks blushing a violent shade of red as I relived parts of the dream I'd have last night. _And what a mighty fine dream it was. Edward was in top form, that much was for sure. _

"Never mind!" Rose snorted. "I think your face just told me everything I needed to know. And about time too, I might add. That Cullen boy looks like he knows how to show a woman a good time in the bedroom."

"Rose!" I cried.

"What?" she asked innocently. "I mean…sure, I remember all about the Tanya fiasco but that doesn't have to say anything. If I were a guy and had to fuck Tanya, I'd have trouble getting it up too! It doesn't have to mean his peen is shy around all of us girls. I'm sure it will come out to play with you…."

"Please stop!" I groaned.

"Fine, fine! Let's just get back to the topic at hand," Rose chuckled. "So I think it's safe to say that the body says 'screw him'. What does the brain say?"

"It reminds me of our shared history….of how he dumped me…the things he said about my mom….the way he just seems to _want _to think badly of me," I explained, knowing I probably wasn't making any sense right now. "It's just….falling for him would be such a fucking bad idea right now. "

Rose's face angled to the side as she narrowed her eyes in thought. "Why?"

"It would make me vulnerable….open to heartbreak," I admitted, "and you know how much I hate that…."

There was something in Rose's face that told me I had to do better than that. "I don't know," I shrugged. "That guy….he has the power to hurt me like no one else can and I…..It took me years to get over the way he dumped me and I think that part of me is still broken. I just…..I don't know if I want to give him the chance to do it all over again…..hurt me all over again."

Rose smile unsettled me and I shifted nervously in my seat, trying to find other reasons why this was a bad idea. "I just broke up with Jake, for crying out loud. I should be out there enjoying life as a single woman and fucking half the campus population…not thinking about diving right back into another relationship."

Rose's mile broke through at that point, tiny sparks of mischief glimmering in her eyes as she spoke at me. "You love him."

"Jake? God no!"

Her face scrunched up in disgust. "You know better than to think I'm talking about the mangy mutt right now. You're in love with Edward Cullen."

"Am. Not!" I growled, though part of me knew it was as blatant a lie as had ever been told. "I mean…I may have some feelings for the guy and…yeah….part of me kind of wonders what it would be like to…ya know….but I'm not _in love_ with him."

"Liar!" Rose snorted, rolling her eyes at me. "I saw the look on your face when you walked into that staff meeting yesterday. You, my friend, had nothing but boy on the brain!"

"….and then there's the newspaper," I went on, completely stepping over Rose's remarks.

Rose frowned. "What about it?"

I arched my brow. "You fired Tanya for sleeping with Edward, even though we now know that she didn't – though not for lack of trying. I'm not naïve enough to think that it'll be okay of I do the same just because you happen to like me."

"Bella!" Rose shook her head as if I'd just said something insanely stupid. "Tanya was using sex as a way to get a story….she was fucking her way up the food chain so to speak. You, on the other hand, are on your way to get romantically involved with a guy who just happens to be an interested party in the same case as the one you happen to be working on. Can't you see the difference here?"

She rolled her eyes as she saw my puzzled look but went on none the less. "Sure, you need to be careful with what you say and ask but as long as you don't compromise our position or work on him to get him to compromise his, you're free to do whatever your pervy little brain can come up with. I'm sure Norrell and the Dean will agree with me on that one."

"I'm just so torn, Rose," I muttered, knowing she was right. "Whenever he and I are in the same room I go from hating his guts to wanting to jump his bones in a matter of minutes only for him to say something fucked up and have me want to kill him again. I want him, or at least part of me does, but at the same time I feel like I'm giving in too soon….that I'm betraying my mom and even _myself _for being so…so _drawn_ to him."

Rose sighed again but her eyes remained fixed on me as she spoke. "As far as I see it, the guy owes you one hell of an explanation combined with the most elaborate apology known to man. I think you should hear what he has to say and let your emotions at that moment guide you. If, after he's said his peace you still think he's a piece of shit then walk away and don't look back. If you feel like you can only be his friend, then that's perfectly fine."

The spark was back in her eye as she paused, licking her lips. "But if after all is said and done, you still want to rip his clothes off….I say go for it. The only way of finding out of he's really changed and if the two of you can make it work, is to give it a try."

I nodded. "That makes sense."

Rose chuckled. "I know I'm not exactly the go-to gall when it comes to the big emotional conversations and all that sappy shit, but I do happen to have an opinion on all of that."

"Thanks, Rose," I smiled, reaching across the table to give her an awkward and mostly one-sided hug. It reminded me of similar moment's I've spent with my dad. _Was it strange that one of my friends was the female – though slightly less moral - version of my father but with tits and without the facial hair?_

"Yeah, yeah," she chuckled awkwardly, patting my back a little before I finally got the hint and let go. "But if you ever so much as breathe a word about this to anyone else you're dead. D-E-A-D. _Capische_?"

"Noted," I chuckled.

Rose nodded sternly, righting her clothes. "I have a reputation to uphold around here. Now off you go. You've got work to do before lover boy picks you up for a wild night on the town and I want that article sitting on my desk before you head out."

"Yes ma'am,' I saluted.

"And don't forget: make him work for it!" Rose ordered. "Now shoo!"

I rolled my eyes at her before making my way back to my desk, the offices of The Daily having become a much brighter place now that the bane of my existence – aka Tanya Denali – had been sacked from her position as senior editor and resident ho-bag.

I managed to finish my modifications to the article about the Volturi well in time for Rose to take another good look at it and pass it on to one of the editors for a final spell- and grammar check before it would go to print. Even though I'd had to cut the section about the lack of police involvement so far, I was still very happy with the way my article had turned out.

It was exactly the kind of thing I'd been dreaming off when I decided to pursue a degree in journalism.

Still, as I sat back at looked around the hustle and bustle of a whole room of journalists approaching their deadline, the satisfaction I usually felt after a job well done was overclouded by another emotion: nervousness.

Nerves about the non-date with Edward.

Nerves about our coming road trip to Forks.

Nerves about my mom and her possible involvement in all of this.

Nerves about the impact of my article….

I'd never felt as uncertain about myself or about my work before but then again, I'd never been in a situation like this in my entire life. The fact that there was this whole secret society thing roaming around campus and maybe even beyond that stopped at nothing – not even murder – to get what they were after was enough to make my skin crawl. The fact that my mom and Carlisle – two people I'd looked up to and trusted for most of my life – might have been involved in all of this…..

I was scared.

What would happen if this Aro guy decided to come after me or my family?

I wasn't naïve enough to think that writing an article about The Volturi would be the same as writing an article about the universities failed attempts at getting the cafeteria to cut back on the amount of greasy junk-food it sold. With Mr. Anonymous' warning still ringing in my ears and yesterday's conversation with my mom fresh in my memory, I would be an idiot not to be afraid of the consequence my article might have. I might not have been an expert on criminal organizations but what I did know was that they usually valued their anonymity and wouldn't be afraid to act if someone threatened it.

Which – in short- meant: no more late night meetings in the park for me.

This whole thing was hitting a bit too close to home for my taste. And then I didn't even take into account that I was now working side by side with my ex-boyfriend who I might still be having feelings for.

_It was nothing short of a miracle I was still sane. _

Realizing I wasn't going to get myself out of the complete and utter mindfuck that was my personal and professional life by sitting on my ass and feeling sorry for myself, I kicked myself back into gear and made it over to my apartment to get ready for my non-date with Edward.

Which – instead of calm me the fuck down and give me something to do while I waited for Edward to pick me up – only added more stuff to the growing pile of things I needed to worry about.

Because what the hell did someone wear to a first non-date with an ex – though maybe not so much anymore – boyfriend?

My little black dress was out since I was pretty sure that 'non-date' meant that my clothes would have to be 'non-sexy'. _But maybe in combination with the light blue cardigan…._

"Ugh! I groaned, picking up a beige colored skirt my mom had once bought me in an attempt to get me to dress a bit 'girlier' but which I'd never worn and pairing it with a navy sweater that seemed to be nice enough to be worn to a dinner-type evening out. It was a bit more subdued than the LBD and cardigan combo but it was also boring and stuffy and made me look more like a schoolmarm than a woman any man younger than seventy would be interested in dating.

I let out a frustrated growl as I swept both options off the bed and watched them land in a pile on the floor. "Why did I have to agree to dinner? If we could have just met for coffee at Starbucks I could have worn my sweats! Hell, I would have settled for Blimpies if it had meant I didn't have to go all OCD over the contents of my closet! "

Growing up with two hippies I'd learned early on not to care about bourgeois things like clothes or make-up, a lesson I'd been all too eager to take to heart seeing as I never really cared for playing dress-up or going shopping in the first place.

Nope. I'd always preferred to spend my time hanging out with Edward in the field behind his house or – later on – trolling the Venice esplanade in search of interesting people. Not that I looked like a total bum or anything but when I dressed in the morning comfort definitely took priority over stylishness or sex-appeal. _And with my lack in the boob- and ass-department sex-appeal was pretty much out of the window anyway…._

I was just about to throw all of my clothes out of the window and go to dinner wearing a bin bag to dinner when I heard the very welcome sound of a key turning in the front door lock.

_Angela._

She'd been on dates.

She'd know what to do.

"Angela?" I yelled, knowing I had a fifty-fifty chance of being right.

"No, it's me," Ben's voice yelled back. "You want something?"

"Can you come in here for a second?" I yelled back. "I need your help!"

Ben looked nervous when he stuck his head around the door, his eyes flashing to the pile of clothes on my bed as he licked his lips. "With what?"

I was so desperate at that moment that I just figured 'what the hell' and fished my two top choices out of the pile. "You're a guy…" I started.

Ben snorted. "That's what they told me and all evidence seems to point to it."

I rolled my eyes, not being in the mood for silly jokes right now. "So, say you were meeting me for dinner. Would you rather see me dressed like this…." I held up the dress and cardigan option before shifting arms and showing him the skirt and sweater. "…or like this?"

Ben's face paled as he swallowed visibly, his Adam's apple bobbing in his throat as his eyes shifted nervously from one arm to the next as if his life depended on the choice he was just about to make.

He wasn't that far off from the truth.

"I-I…Erm….." he stammered after what seemed like an eternity. "They are both nice….and I don't know….."

I rolled my eyes, deciding it was best to put him out of his misery before my arms would get even heavier. "Never mind!" But Ben had already shot out of my room like a rocket by then, so I somehow doubted he'd heard.

I should have known better than to ask a guy for advice on girly stuff.

_Bernice my ass! The guy may have been able to fool Angela's parents into thinking he was a girl, he sure as hell wasn't able to fool me!_

It was a good thing that only a few minutes later the opening and closing of the front door heralded the true arrival of Angela.. "Helloooooooo!" she squealed, a thud reverberating through the house as she dropped her bag by the door. "Anyone here?"

Ben must have still been hiding out in whatever safe place a nerd would pick to escape girlie stuff.

"Ang? Can you come in here?" I yelled, from inside my closet.

Angela appeared seconds later, her small frame almost obscured by the huge book bag she carried on her shoulder. It made me thankful that I'd never picked history as my major. "You rang, milady?" she sang in a horrible fake British accent.

"I need help picking my outfit," I admitted. "I've got this meeting tonight….."

"Praise the lord!" Angela belted out, and I half expected her to fall to her knees and start praying. "Who's your date?"

"It's not a date," I grumbled. "We're just going out for dinner."

"That's a date," Angela snorted before turning all strict dominatrix on me. "Name."

I bit my lip, keeping my voice so low only bats could hear. "Edward Cullen."

Apparently Angela must have shared some genes with Batman or Count Dracula or something because she heard me, her eyebrows pulling together as she mulled over my statement. "I thought you hated his guts?"

"I did," I sighed, my cheeks blushing up as I realized what I said.

"I mean…" I corrected myself. "I do."

"No you don't," Angela huffed. "You said you _did_. And, given the way you're spending your evening I don't think you still do. Not even you would go that far to get a free meal."

"Either way, I don't want to talk about this right now, if you don't mind," I sighed. "I just spend half an hour going over this with Rose and I think that if I have to do it again I might chicken out, get drunk, or scream, or all of the above."

Angela eyes shot into the huge proportions you only see in Japanese animated cartoons. "You talked to _Rose_?"

"I know!" I chuckled. "But I wasn't supposed to say anything about it so you'll just have to settle for the short and completely abridged version of it: I've decided to give Edward a chance to explain himself before I commit to a course of action or even an opinion on the guy."

Angela's face told me she wasn't all that in favor of the idea of me and Edward spending time together but she didn't let her feelings get the better of her. After a few moments she snapped back into her normal, chipper self, only to dive into my closet head-first. "So what are you aiming for, hun?" she asked, her voice muffled by the garments she was sifting through. "Get him to jump your bones? Let him see what how much of an idiot he was for breaking things off with you? Or point out that all you're interested in is friendship and smooth teamwork on his dad's case?"

"I don't know," I muttered. "Maybe a combination of all three?"

I could hear her gasp, her head appearing from inside my closet a few moments later. "You haven't told him about Jake yet!"

I frowned, not knowing what the hell she was talking about. "I told him Jake and I were together."

"But did you tell him about the breakup or hiatus or whatever the fuck it is you're calling it?"

I fidgeted with the buttons of my blouse. "No?"

Angela merely arched her brow at me, diving into my closet once more only to emerge a few moments later carrying a pants and sweater combination I hadn't even thought about wearing together, let alone to a date – or non-date. "This will work," she shrugged as she tossed the garments at me. "And while you put them on you can tell me all about how you 'forgot' to tell Edward you've recently re-entered the singles market. Not that I mind, anyway. I mean, the guy practically threw you to the wolves. If he were my ex, the only thing he'd get out of me was a swift kick to the balls, not the pleasure of my company over dinner!"

She crossed her arms in front of her chest as she sat down on my bed. I knew there wasn't a snowball's chance in hell I would walk out of this room before she was satisfied with my answers. She may have been small and cute but the girl had a tenacity that could tame even the wildest of beasts.

"Fine!" I grumbled as I started to pull my comfy well-worn black sweater over my head. "I never told him about Jake because it just hasn't come up yet and it's not something you just blurt out in the middle of a business-like conversation, you know?"

"If you plan on getting lucky tonight you'd better change into something more sexy than that," Angela stated as she pointed at my plain cotton bra, "because that thing is about as sexy as getting your teeth pulled."

"Well it's a good thing I don't then," I grumbled.

"Right," Angela snickered, "because the thought alone of a date – or non-date – with a hot sexy asshole leading to hot, steamy sex with aforementioned asshole is so preposterous it should be illegal."

"Are you done?" I complained, continuing only after I'd gotten a reluctant nod from her. "I have no intention of doing _that_ with Edward any time soon, no matter how much my hoo-ha may be begging for it. Hell, as far as I'm concerned this evening is going to be a success if I manage to sit through our entire meal without clocking him in the face!"

"Yeah, you guys don't exactly have a good track record for keeping things polite," Angela snorted, "but then again, there's always hot angry hate sex?"

"For the last time: there's not going to be any sex of any kind for me tonight!" I yelled. "We're just going to eat, go home and sleep in our own beds."

"That's too bad," Angela replied, and I could see she was really enjoying this, "because perhaps you could get rid of some of that tension you're dragging along with you if you got yourself laid good and proper. Edward – asshole though he may be – seems like the kind of guy who could do the trick. " _And that was the second time today one of my friends had told me Edward would probably be a champ in the sack._

When she saw that I was about to string her little neck she held up her hands in defense. 'Okay, okay, okay! No more! I give up!"

I narrowed my eyes at her, not completely trusting her to be legit, as she smiled back sweetly. "Soooo," she drawled after a while. "Are you going to tell him about Jake tonight?"

I sighed, stalling for time as I got into the black dress pants Angela had selected for me. "I don't know yet. It depends…."

"On what?"

I shrugged. "On a lot of things. On what he says…on how that makes me feel….on what I want…I just…don't know. It kind of seems like an open invitation when I tell him….you know?"

Angela hopped off the bed and, under the guise of righting my clothes, rested her hands on my underarms. "Just be careful Bella. You only have one heart to give away. Please make sure that the one who ends up having it knows and appreciates the value of it."

"But that's just the thing, Ang," I whispered. "I gave my heart to Edward a long time ago and though he trampled all over it and all but threw it back in my face; I don't think his hold over it ever diminished with time."

I let out a deep breath as I admitted all of this to her…to myself. "When I was with Jake I always knew that something was missing…something that should be there but wasn't and…I don't know…when I'm with Edward – whether we fight or talk or…whatever – it just _feels_ right. It feels…."

"Like it's meant to be," Angela finished for me with a sad smile.

I nodded. "And it makes me so angry with myself because I feel like I should remember what it was that he did to me…to my mom...all the things he said. But the longer I talk to him the more I start wondering what it would be like…to _be_ with him."

"Rose was right, Bella," Angela spoke softly. "You do love him but before you can admit that to him, you need to be ready to admit that to yourself. And before you do _that_, you need to find out if you can trust him with your heart. That's why you haven't told him about Jake, isn't it? It's like a visible wall around your heart…and obstacle that will prevent him from getting too close too soon."

The hug that followed my grimace was broken only when the doorbell sounded, putting me in a slight state of panic because I knew who that was but I was nowhere near ready.

"You go finish making yourself pretty," Angela smiled. "I'll keep him entertained."

"Thanks, Ang," I muttered, trying to put as much confidence in my smile as I could muster as I watched my friend waltz out of my bedroom, buying me some time so that I could finish getting ready in peace.

Which wasn't going to take me that long, to be honest.

I'd never been one to slab a lot of make-up on my face. Just a bit of mascara, a quick spruce up of my hair and maybe a layer of lip-gloss if I was feeling particularly licentious and I was done.

Tonight wasn't going to be much of a difference. But then again, the problem was never getting myself presentable for my night on the town with Edward Cullen. It was the act of walking out there and into the lion's den that was making my heart speed up to dangerous levels and my throat constrict.

"Okay, Bella. Let's go do this!" I muttered at my reflection in the mirror, loving the way the pants made my legs seem longer and more…feminine-like instead of just short, stalky stilts and how the sweater clung to the places a sweater should cling to and hide stuff I didn't want to draw attention to. Plus, it made it seem like I had boobs, which was kind of a novelty for me.

"You done ogling yourself?" Ben snorted, standing in the doorway. "Because if you are, then you may want to head on out to the living room. My dear fiancé is putting the screws onto your boyfriend."

"He's. Not. My. Boyfriend!" I hissed, arranging the sweater so that it left a bit of my shoulder bare only to change my mind the minute I had it looking the way I wanted and shifting it back to cover my skin.

"Suit yourself," he shrugged. "Just figured you might want a heads up since the guy looked like he was getting ready to bolt."

I threw my hairbrush in his general direction, but, after some careful consideration, decided to follow up on his tip. There was no point in getting all dolled up for this non-date is all that remained of the guy was a cloud of dust and a smug looking evil roommate.

Ben was right. Edward did look particularly scared as I entered the room. He seemed to be locked in some kind of stare-down with Angela as they hackled over his right to take me out like two newly divorced parents in custody court. _He also looked particularly hot._

And then he looked up and suddenly it became a little hotter in the room, my breath becoming shallow as I met his gaze.

He was there and we were staring and all the stuff that Rose and Angela had said to me this afternoon suddenly turned out to be the truth.

I loved him.

But I was scared to let him in

Scared to open myself up to him again.

Scared to be vulnerable.

I must have spoken at one time because soon after I'd entered the room Angela backed off and left me to get into my coat and out of the apartment but I had no idea of the words I'd spoken or even of my own actions until I suddenly found myself halfway between the university district and downtown Seattle.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"Some place on Pike," Edward shrugged. "Maximillien's?"

I'd heard of the place. Ben had taken Angela there on their two and a half year anniversary and both of them had been raving about the food. But that wasn't all they'd been raving about. "I've heard about the place," I said. "The food is amazing but it's expensive….."

"Don't worry," Edward interrupted me. "Dinner's on me."

"No it's not," I huffed.

He shot a quick look at me, arching his brow at my resistance. "_I_ asked _you_ out and was forward enough to select a restaurant without consulting you. It's only reasonable that I'd be the one to pick up the tab."

"But…." I started.

"And seeing as this isn't a date – as you yourself stressed," he went on, emphasizing the non-date nature of our outing, "I think we should qualify this as a business meeting of some sort, wouldn't you agree?"

Business meeting sounded a lot less scary and romantic than date, so I nodded. "But what if it is?"

He shrugged, giving me that half-assed and fully-loaded grin of his. "Seeing as my firm probably has a reimbursement policy that beats yours by a few hundred bucks, it would only be fair if I cover the costs."

I wanted nothing more than to argue with the sly son of a bitch but I had to admit that the fucker was right. Though Rose was known to cover a few cups of Starbucks here and there – as long as they were consumed in the quest for a big scoop – I wasn't naïve enough to think that our budget would stretch far enough to cover dinner at a fancy restaurant.

"Fine,' I growled, glaring at him as I unwillingly surrendered. "But let the record show that I'm not putting out tonight. No matter how much money you spend."

He laughed, his face becoming even more handsome – if possible – as he threw his head back and gave in to his amusement. It made him seem younger…more careless. "Duly noted, Miss Swan," he stated solemnly as soon as he was in command of himself again. "But let the record also show I never expected you to. I'm not that kind of guy, Bella, though I can't really blame you for thinking I am."

It might have been me but there was a hint of sadness to his voice as he went on. "I know I'm probably the last guy on earth you'd ever think about inviting into your bed. And even then, you're not free for me to pursue…."

The silence that fell after his words trailed off was almost painfully laden and – unfortunately – lasted well through parking the car, walking over to the restaurant, being seated and ordering and awaiting our appetizers.

I knew that was the moment when I should have come clean about Jake and me. I mean, if ever there was a perfect time to do so it would have been then. But I didn't…..

Because his words had left me in a state of panic.

So we remained silent, finding our way to the restaurant and only talking about the weather and other safe, small and nonsensical things as we sat down, ordered and waited for our food to arrive.

It was only when I was halfway through a particularly tasty crab cake that I'd had enough. "So, are you ever going to open your mouth and say something?" I challenged him, my voice maybe a little sharper than I intended. "Because as good as the food may be, I'm missing out on an evening at home watching _True Blood_ episodes on my DVR."

I knew I wasn't exactly being fair. If I'd been that miffed about the direction the conversation had turned, I could have opened my damn mouth myself to change it, but I guess I was too pissed off with myself and everything else to remain rational.

He snorted. "It's not like you're missing out on anything important."

"You're kidding me, right?" I gasped. "That show has vampires and hot guys – hot _vampire _guys – running around naked and having crazy vampire sex. It's everything a girl may wish for and more."

He had trouble keeping his face in check as he looked at me for a moment to see if I was for real. "Right," he snickered when he must have concluded that I was – in fact – deadly serious about this, "Silly me."

I shrugged. "You're forgiven, At least….in this matter."

The tension in his mouth and the way he kept his eyes trained to his half-eaten plate of food made me think his thoughts had strayed in the same directions as mine. When he finally looked up at me I was completely taken aback by what I saw in his eyes, the weight of emotion crushing every preconceived notion I might have had about him. "Will I…." he started, unsure and unsteady in his voice. "Do you think I could ever find forgiveness in other matters?"

I swallowed hard, though my mouth was empty of food. "I don't know," I replied honestly, "but if you want to explain to me what happened to make you act so cruelly, I'll listen to what you have to say. So I guess the ball's in your court now…..."

A small, sad smile graced his lips. "I guess that's only fair."

I smiled back at him, trying to steal myself against whatever it was that he might have to say for himself. Part of me was excited to finally hear what had happened all those years ago and move on but the other part was so afraid of the consequences that I found myself holding on to the seat of my chair to keep from bolting out of the restaurant.

"I knew I was doing the wrong thing." His eyes were trained to his plate of food, his fingers occupied with cutting up food only to pushing it around his plate. "Not just wrong because it was morally reprehensible but wrong because I knew, deep down inside, that even if what I thought I saw was true, it still didn't change anything….. you had nothing to do with it."

Of course I knew all of that, but hearing him say the words after all those years still made me choke up and I was fighting the tears as I spoke. "Then why did you do it?"

"Because…." He exhaled deeply. "You know I've always had trouble controlling my anger, right?"

He continued only after I nodded. "I was angry when we caught your mom and my dad together that day but…I don't know. " He shrugged. "_That_ was nothing."

"Nothing?" I huffed. "Pardon me but I beg to differ on that!"

"Please, let me finish," he pleaded, the combination of remorse and pain telling me there was more to this. More than I knew. "I went into my dad's study that night to look for evidence…anything that would either convince me of his guilt or his innocence."

"And let me guess," I spoke, my voice barely registering above a whisper. "You found something…."

His loud snort got some funny looks from the people around us, forcing him to take a few seconds to calm himself again before he continued. "You can say that again!"

"What did you find?" As much as I didn't want to know this since, given his reaction, it was probably some pretty heavy stuff; I knew I couldn't walk out of here _not knowing_.

"There was an envelope stuck in the bottom drawer of his desk," Edward started. "It contained pictures or people doing drugs, getting it on with pretty much everyone in the room and engaging in all sorts of other stuff that I don't even want to think about."

I swallowed, feeling all color leaving my face. "My mom."

"Yes." He nodded sadly. "And my dad."

His words lingered in the silence as my mind scrambled to play catch up.

But, apparently, there was more.

"Seeing those pictures…." He shook his head, his lips pulling into a grimace as God knew what kind of images flashed in front of his eyes. "Seeing two people I trusted and looked up to all of my life engaging in orgies and doing drugs and God knows what else….something snapped. I know it doesn't justify what I did or even begins to explain it but I felt like that night I kind of lost my mind."

Something occurred to me that instant and I looked at him, his green eyes blazing back at me with honesty and vulnerability that took me aback. "Was that why you avoided me?"

He nodded, his eyes shifting back to his food. "I knew that I was in no fit state to be around anyone…especially you. I begged my mom to stay home from school that day but she was still so pissed off with me about all the abuse I'd been hurtling at my dad all weekend that she wouldn't hear any of it. I was still so angry that day…"

"And then I went and made it all worse by coming after you," I sighed. Suddenly some of the things that had always bugged me about that day started to make sense. Of course I'd always know that Edward had a temper on him that could rival an F5 hurricane – in fact, I'd always thoughts his mercurial nature to be kind of sexy before it turned on me – but I'd never quite held him capable of cruelty.

Or temporary insanity for that matter.

"You didn't know," Edward shrugged. "And I dare say you expected better off me than the way I treated you. Hell, I expected better from myself than to just blow off on you like that! Pictures or no pictures…"

He dropped his fork, his hand lying flat though slightly trembling against the crisp white damask of the table cloth. "The things I said to you…I don't think I'll ever forgive myself for them."

I placed my own cutlery back beside my plate, stalling for time as I wiped my mouth with the napkin before placing it back over my legs. "It wasn't so much the things you _said_ but the things you _did_ that broke my heart. Sticks and stones and all of that crap….but leaving me out there all alone…."

"I had to get away from you," he muttered so soft it was almost a whisper. "The things you said….the way you looked….I felt like was being split in two. I _had_ to get away."

"But you _left_ me there!" I cried, my raised voice attracting the attention of a few other diners. I smiled sheepishly, pricking a few green beans and some sea bass on my fork and shoving it into my mouth as if eating would convince them that I wasn't some insane harpy.

"You left me there," I repeated in a much lower voice, as soon as I'd swallowed my food. "I was scared and unprotected and I'd never done anything to deserve what you did to me!"

"You're right," he answered, his whole demeanor speaking of his shame. "I knew what kind of colossal mistake I'd made as soon as I came back to my senses but by then it was too late. By the time I made it back to the spot where I'd left you, you were already gone and I couldn't find you."

My breath stocked in my throat. "You….you came back for me?"

He nodded. "When I couldn't find you I went back home. I figured you must have found your way back on your own or something. It was only when your dad called later that night that I realized you hadn't."

I shuddered, remembering what it was like to be out there in the dark with all the sounds of the forest closing in on me.

He went on. "I told him where you were….where to look for you and I guess he must have found you."

"What did your parents say?" I wanted to know. If I knew Esme and Carlisle they would have been mortified and so disappointed to find out about what happened.

"Only my dad knows what happened," he spoke, "and you can imagine how I reacted when he tried to call me out on my behavior."

We both smirked. "He made me promise to stay away from you and not hurt you beyond the damage I'd already done and – even if we didn't see eye to eye on anything else anymore by that time – I agreed with him. A clean break would be the best thing for both of us. You would grow to hate me and never want to have anything to do with me for the rest of our lives and I would be spared from seeing the face from the pictures reflected in you every time I saw you or even thought about you."

He shook his head. "It made me crazy, those few months, trying to come up with a way to deal with what had happened without arousing suspicion. By that time I think my mom must have caught on to something because she and dad were fighting all the time and I didn't want my mom to hurt even more than she already was. It made me hate you and your family if only for the potential of pain it could cause mine."

"What changed?" I asked. "Because I'm fairly sure that when we bumped into one another in the hallway you were still feeling all those things and more."

"Can't be sure," he shrugged, smiling that lopsided grin of his that made it very hard for me to see beyond my lust, "but I think it's called growing up."

I could feel myself tensing up at his easy dismissal of what happened between us as just a case of 'growing up'. I knew I was probably making a bigger problem out of this than it really was, but to hell with it.

Growing up? Really?

What the fuck was wrong with him?

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_**Don't worry. Edward's nowhere near done squirming. I just thought that maybe it would be more enjoyable to read the rest of this conversation in his POV. Plus, the chapter was getting kind of long as it was so it felt kind of right breaking it up right here, kwim?**_

_**I am very happy to announce (though still completely shocked) that Absolution was nominated for best story in the Sparkleteers Hidden Gem Awards. Thank you so much to whoever nominated me. I don't have words….. Voting will start on November 18**__**th**__**.**_

_**Follow me on twitter for updates on my writing and everything else. I'm missbaby25 over there. **_

_**As always…..reviewers will get teased. **_


	21. Chapter 21

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. I am in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise, I just use their creations to have my wicked way with them. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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_**This story wouldn't be what it is without my wonderful beta, **_**The Real Teacher**_**, holding my hand and correcting my many errors. Thank you so much!**_

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**- 20 -**

_Say something, you idiot!_

I'd been giving myself these kinds of pep-talks for half an hour but so far it hadn't done shit in the way of opening my mouth and saying something beyond common pleasantries.

This had never happened to me before.

It wasn't because of her beauty or her brains. Not that Bella wasn't beautiful – in fact she was the most gorgeous woman I'd ever shared a meal with and that was saying something – or that I didn't feel like she could hold her own in a conversation on just about every topic known to man. It wasn't even in the way her eyes seemed to hold me spellbound even when she averted them to look at her food or the other diners….

It was the weight of our shared history that had crushed my vocal cords.

I'd decided to come clean to her this night; tell her everything she didn't know and everything she deserved to find out about what happened all those years ago. I would confess my sins in the hope that I might find absolution.

Because that was all I could hope for at the moment.

Even if desperately I wanted more.

That was, until I sat there across from her at our romantic table overlooking Puget Sound acting like a blundering idiot on his first ever date. _All I needed was to throw up in front of her and this would go down in history as the lousiest meal ever shared by two members of the opposite sex._

And apparently I wasn't the only one who'd noticed….

"So, are you ever going to open your mouth and say something?" Bella snapped, her fork suspended halfway between her plate and her mouth. "Because as good as the food may be, I'm missing out on an evening at home watching _True Blood_ episodes on my DVR."

"It's not like you're missing out on anything important." I barely resisted the urge to roll my eyes. I'd seen that show once when I'd come home too tired after a day of work but instead of being intrigued or aroused or whatever the fuck kind of reaction the creators went for, it just set me off laughing. _I mean…vampires? Come on!_

"You're kidding me, right?" she gasped, looking at me as if I'd just come out and confessed a deep dark desire to romance Betty White or one of those other old birds from _The Golden Girls_.

"That show has vampires and hot guys – hot _vampire _guys – running around naked and having crazy vampire sex. It's everything a girl may wish for and more."

"Right. Silly me." I chuckled, figuring it was better to give in for the sake of peace and quiet. And this seemed like a really big deal to her.

She shrugged, her lips reluctantly pulling into a small smile. "You're forgiven, At least….in this matter."

Which reminded me of why we were here and why I'd been sitting here in mute fucking silence for the better part of our dinner. "Will I…." I looked up, knowing that if I ever wanted to make this right again, it would have to be now. "Do you think I could ever find forgiveness in other matters?"

She was stalling for time, which wasn't a good sign, chewing her food slowly before – finally – swallowing. "I don't know, but if you want to explain to me what happened to make you act so cruelly, I'll listen to what you have to say." I breathed a sigh of relief. This was all I wanted. This was all I needed.

"So I guess the ball's in your court now…..." she added, giving me a pointed look.

I smiled, my relief unwavering even in spite of her visible reluctance. "I guess that's only fair."

She smiled but the impatience in her eyes made me rush into my explanation of what happened all those years ago.

But that was alright.

It wasn't as if cherry picking my words would make the truth behind it any less sordid or her any more eager to accept my version of what happened. No, I acted shamefully back then and it was about time I owned up to it.

It was about time I told her the truth.

"I knew I was doing the wrong thing," I started, feeling like an admission of guilt would be the best way to start. That way, if she decided to bolt midway through my explanation she would know that I wasn't so much of an asshole that I'd sit here talking to her without feeling even a tiny morsel of guilt. "Not just wrong because it was morally reprehensible but wrong because I knew, deep down inside, that even if what I thought I saw was true, you had nothing to do with it."

She wouldn't let me get away with it this easy, though. "Then why did you do it?" she challenged, staring at me hard and unyielding.

"Because…." I let out a deep breath of air as I carefully sliced a piece of my salmon until only a tiny little square remained. "You know I've always had trouble controlling my anger, right?"

She nodded and I could see she had trouble controlling the corners of her mouth. _She remembered._

"I was angry when we caught your mom and my dad together that day but…I don't know. _That_ was nothing." I shrugged, shaking my head as I tried not to see the stuff I was describing to her. I should have known that wouldn't work, though. I was quite convinced that as long as I loved, those damned pictures would be etched into my brain, popping up when I least expected it.

"Nothing?" Judging from the anger in her voice, she didn't quite agree with me on that. "Pardon me but I beg to differ on that!"

"Please, let me finish," I asked her. I knew I was dancing on the edge of a sword here, but I had to at least try to make her see things from my side. As Alice had said: it was better to go down fighting than not to have put up a fight at all.

I took a deep breath, trying to steel my mind against the images that were bound to pop up. "I went into my dad's study that night to look for evidence…anything that would either convince me of his guilt or his innocence."

"And let me guess. You found something…." The wariness in her voice surprised me. I'd expected sarcasm or anger or…anything. _Not fear._

I snorted, shaking my head. If only she knew how right she was….. "You can say that again!"

"What did you find?" She looked me straight in the eye, her big brown eyes demanding the truth but also fearing the consequences of it.

"There was an envelope stuck in the bottom drawer of his desk," I explained. "It contained pictures or people doing drugs, getting it on with pretty much everyone in the room and engaging in all sorts of other stuff that I don't even want to think about."

She swallowed hard, as her face registered the effect of my words. "My mom." In that moment I wished more than anything that I'd never set foot inside my dad's study that day, if only to protect her from knowing what her mom had gotten up to when she was young.

But I couldn't.

What had been seen could not be unseen. The least I could do for her now, was tell her the truth. "Yes." I nodded sadly. "And my dad."

"Seeing those pictures…." I grimaced as those revolting images flashed in front of my eyes again. Even after revisiting those vistas time and time again over the last couple of weeks, I still hadn't become immune to them, the usual reaction of anger already starting to bubble up inside of me.

But this time I shushed it.

Anger was what had gotten me into this mess.

Only staying calm could get me out.

And so I went on, outwardly calm, inwardly battling my demons. "Seeing two people I trusted and looked up to all of my life engaging in orgies and doing drugs and God knows what else….something snapped. I know it doesn't justify what I did or even begins to explain it but I felt like that night I kind of lost my mind."

I could almost see the wheels turning in her head and knew the minute everything started to make sense when she looked at me. "Was _that_ why you avoided me?"

I nodded, going back to studying and dissecting my appetizer. I couldn't look her in the eye when I spoke about that day for fear of what she might see. "I knew that I was in no fit state to be around anyone…especially you. I begged my mom to stay home from school that day but she was still so pissed off with me about all the abuse I'd been hurtling at my dad all weekend that she wouldn't hear any of it. I was still so angry that day…"

"And then I went and made it all worse by coming after you," she sighed. She sounded so sad…so guilty. I couldn't stand it.

_She _wasn't to blame for all of this.

_I_ was.

"You didn't know," I insisted. "And I dare say you expected better of me than the way I treated you. Hell, I expected better from myself than to just blow off on you like that! Pictures or no pictures…"

My frustration with myself found an outlet when I smashed my fork against the table, tiny splutters of dill and lemon sauce staining the table cloth. "The things I said to you…I don't think I'll ever forgive myself for them."

"It wasn't so much the things you _said_ but the things you _did_ that broke my heart," Bella spoke, so softly I barely heard the words over the buzz of conversation around us. "Sticks and stones and all of that crap….but leaving me out there all alone…."

"I had to get away from you," I muttered, the memory of how frail and broken she'd looked that day assaulting my mind. "The things you said….the way you looked….I felt like was being split in two. I _had_ to get away."

"But you _left_ me there!" she cried, her eyes blazing with anger and pain. "You left me there. I was scared and unprotected and I'd never done anything to deserve what you did to me!"

If I felt like an asshole and a despicable creature before….right now I just wanted to jump into the Sound, let the tide drift me off and rid the world of my unworthy existence. To know that, not only had I caused all this pain to a girl who deserved so much better, but then denied her and belittled her for years after…..

"You're right," I replied, trying to smile. "I knew what kind of colossal mistake I'd made as soon as I came back to my senses but by then it was too late. By the time I made it back to the spot where I'd left you, you were already gone and I couldn't find you."

I could remember the exact moment when I'd realized what I'd done. I was halfway back home when suddenly the angry black fog started to lift and made me see what I'd done. I rushed back, retracing my steps through the thick undergrowth, only to find the spot I thought I'd left her deserted and no traces of our presence.

I could see this took her aback, her eyes growing as she stared at me. "You…. you came back for me?"

I nodded. "When I couldn't find you I went back home. I figured you must have found your way back on your own or something. It was only when your dad called later that night that I realized you hadn't."

I went on, even though I could see how hard this was for her. "I told him where you were….where to look for you and I guess he must have found you."

My first conversation with Charlie had been short. _Clipped_. When I told him what happened to his daughter he'd yelled at me and threatened to kill me in at least six different ways – each rivaling the other in pain – but his worry had prevailed. The only thing he'd wanted was to get his little girl safely back to him, even if that meant letting the rat bastard who'd left her behind in the woods off the hook.

At least, it had back at _that_ time.

"What did your parents say?" she asked.

"Only my dad knows what happened," I answered, a wry smile forcing its way to the surface as I recalled the row that had ensued when my dad found out what happened, "and you can imagine how I reacted when he tried to call me out on my behavior."

My dad, like a good parent, had tried to call me out on my behavior but his lecture could not have been delivered to a more unwilling audience. Even now, I still wondered where he got the nerve to chastise me when he was fooling around with another woman right under the eye of my mom.

_Or had been, in the very least._

He made me promise to stay away from you and not hurt you beyond the damage I'd already done and – even if we didn't see eye to eye on anything else anymore by that time – I agreed with him. A clean break would be the best thing for both of us. You would grow to hate me and never want to have anything to do with me for the rest of our lives and I would be spared from seeing the face from the pictures reflected in you every time I saw you or even thought about you."

I shook my head, remembering how my anger had me crawling up the walls for weeks before my mom intervened and sent me to Uncle Eli's to cool off . "It made me crazy, those few months, trying to come up with a way to deal with what had happened without arousing suspicion. By that time I think my mom must have caught on to something because she and dad were fighting all the time and I didn't want my mom to hurt even more than she already was. It made me hate you and your family if only for the potential of pain it could cause mine."

"What changed?" she wanted to know. "Because I'm fairly sure that when we bumped into one another in the hallway you were still feeling all those things and more."

"Can't be sure, but I think it's called growing up." I chuckled. It was the truth. Over the last couple of weeks so many things had happened, that had made me retrace my steps and reconsider truths I'd held to be self-evident that not even I could keep up.

I knew I'd changed, though. I was slowly starting to let go of my anger and work through the issues that had weighed me down.

I felt lighter now.

Better.

But, judging by the murderous look on Bella's face, she wasn't at all convinced yet. "Growing up?" she asked, laughing incredulously. "Please forgive me but I have a hard time believing it could be as simple as that."

I could kick myself. By making a stupid little joke I'd just about erased every single bit of progress I'd made this night and maybe even before that. I could see it happening right in front of my eyes. Bella, who up until that moment had been slowly but surely emerging from behind the defense lines she'd pulled up around herself, had scurried back for safety, guns drawn and canons aimed so that she could defend herself against all harm.

But most of all against me.

I sighed, knowing I deserved her indignation and quite a bit more to be honest. "This is not a game to me, Bella. I'm serious about wanting to undo the pain I've caused and…"

"It's not as simple as that, Edward," she spoke sharply, interrupting me. "God, I wish it was as simple as that! _Nothing_ you can say or do can undo the pain that's been caused."

"But I only…." I started, only to be interrupted almost immediately.

"It happened," she stated, "and it hurt like a motherfucker. To deny it or even want to undo it sounds….it's almost like an insult. Like it wasn't important or something."

Her words shocked me. I'd never even thought of it like that. But she went on. "I know you didn't mean it like that but well….I can't help the way I feel, can I?"

"I guess you can't," I muttered, trying to smile but failing altogether. "I'm sorry."

"Thanks," she muttered back. "But…."

Her hesitance made me look up, the embarrassment and shyness I'd detected in her words magnified in the blush staining her cheeks. "Yes?"

She shrugged. "Just because you can't undo the past, doesn't have to mean that you can't mend it."

Her words gave me hope. "It doesn't?"

"Don't count your blessings just yet." She smiled, shaking her head at me. "I'm still not sure if I can trust you. Not yet, anyway. You can't build a friendship without trust and if you're really serious about wanting to be my friend, you're going to have to be patient."

I wasn't deterred, not even by her usage of the word 'friendship' instead of 'relationship'. _But then again, what I expect? She had a boyfriend already. It was foolish to want too much. _Her reservations might have made it more difficult to win her back, but not impossible. "I guess I can be patient and…and I agree that this doesn't make all of the shit that happened between us magically alright," I nodded. "But it is a starting point."

She smiled back, though it was still a tense kind of smile. "That it is."

The waiter chose that moment to disturb us, putting our entrees in front of us and refilling our glasses. It gave me some breathing space to clear my mind and rethink my game plan.

I knew that, as far as Bella was concerned, I would have to take baby steps to get her to trust me and let me in.

She was willing to be my friend.

At least that was something – and no small feat too, considering how things had ended between us. I knew it was going to take a lot of hard work to gain her trust again but I was more than ready to start trying. Because, even though we had all this shit standing between us, she was still the only woman I knew apart from mom, with whom I could completely be myself.

She was comfort.

She was love.

She didn't put up with my shit.

She challenged me to be a better person; even if it was just so that I might one day deserve her.

And I loved her, even though I knew she might never return those feelings.

But for now this was enough.

For now I would be her friend.

"What are you thinking about?" Bella asked, a curious smile gracing her lips.

I shrugged, trying to act casual because I knew that admitting my true thoughts would have her running for the hills in no time. "Just…I don't know."

"For a moment it looked like you were carrying the weight of the world around on your shoulders," she went on, "but then you must have started thinking about something else because you started smiling…."

She blushed as she averted her eyes to tasty looking plate of lamb in a red wine and rosemary reduction, though I could see her mind wasn't on the food. _If only I could have read her mind at that moment….. _

"I was thinking about making a fresh start," I admitted. "I still miss the friendship we used to have."

She looked up again with a sad smile. "So do I."

Acting on a whim I raised my glass and tipped it slightly in her direction, inviting her to do the same. Bella, no doubt wondering what the hell as going on, looked up at me as her food-laden fork stalled in mid-air between her plate and her mouth. "Let's drink to that," I suggested.

"To what?" she asked, quickly swallowing her food.

"To friendship and new beginnings," I clarified, though it was more of a plea than an explanation.

Her radiant smile as she raised her own glass and briefly tapped it against mine, told me more than any assortment of words strung together in a sentence ever could have. It felt like we'd just taken a huge step in the right direction – an outcome that didn't seem so likely even five minutes ago – and had sealed it with the tingling clang of glass against glass.

"To friendship," her voice spoke, sounding both honest and determined as she sat her glass back down and returned her attention to her food.

I decided to do the same, knowing my tournedos in Armagnac and truffle sauce was best enjoyed hot. _After all, wouldn't it be a shame if the cow had died in vain or if I would go home on an empty stomach when I had a delicious meal sitting in front of me?_

"Why don't we leave this subject for now and discuss something else for the rest of the night?" Bella suggested as we both finished out meal, her nimble fingers drumming nervously along the stem of her glass. "It seems kind of masochistic…don't you think, to tear open all these old wounds when we're surrounded by so much beauty?"

I chuckled, little did she know that the greatest of those beauties was _she_. "I couldn't agree more."

And then, to beat the silence before it could claim us and cloak us in a heavy fog of uncertainty, I spoke again. "So what do you want to talk about?"

She had to think about that one for a second, her forehead wrinkling up as she scrunched her eyebrows together in thought. "How about college?" she finally suggested. "What made you decide to become a lawyer? I always thought you wanted to enter into the medical profession?"

I chuckled. How, out of all the topics in the world, could she have picked the one that would bring us right back to the stuff we were trying to avoid?

"What?" she asked, laughing at my no doubt funny look.

I let out a nervous smile. "I kinda changed my mind when my great example fell off his pedestal."

"Ah,' she chuckled, finally realizing how a certain person had reentered the conversation through a backdoor. "But I take it you found a new idol?"

"I was a little too old for idols by that time," I chuckled, "but I did find an example in my uncle, I suppose."

She remained silent, her head tilted a little bit to the side as she studied me, silently urging me to continue. "My uncle taught me how to be subtle. How to channel my anger towards gaining a positive outcome instead of lashing out and pushing people away…."

I smiled, remembering all of Eli's lessons over that summer. "He taught me how to argue – properly argue – and harness my emotions and….."

I shrugged, finding it hard to put into words just how much what I'd seen and learned that summer had helped to put me back in the right path. "He challenged me to think and participate in the world around me – two things my father had never done. One night – the night before his closing arguments in this huge case – he got us all together to practice his speech, engaging all of us to listen, analyze and criticize so that he could make a better argument in court. I think it was that night that I realized I wanted to be like him when I grew up."

"And so you went to law school," she completed me, an endearing smile warming my heart.

"Yeah," I nodded.

She studied me, a mischievous smile creeping onto her face which she tried to hide by taking a sip of her wine. "I bet you got up to all kinds of wickedness while you were at college."

I couldn't help but snicker, a few of my more memorable moments flashing before my mind's eye. "Law students usually do, all within the bounds of the law, of course."

She almost choked on her drink, her coughs muffled by her napkin as she tried to breathe her way past it. "Of course." I could see she wasn't quite convinced yet, though.

"Don't look so surprised!" I snickered. "It's not like I was a saint or anything, but being a serious law student kind of takes a lot of time away from the partying and causing mayhem and all of that."

"_You_ were a serious law student?" she jested.

"I'll try to act as if I didn't hear that," I pouted, making myself out to be more hurt than I was. "And yes: I was a serious law student. In fact, I even graduated top of my class at Harvard and I'm not afraid to admit it. I didn't set out to be some kind of mediocre dipshit who trades on his family's name and connections. I wanted the real thing; a job at a major firm, interesting cases to defend and my name in the papers." I didn't have any problem owning up to my own vanity. Right now, I might have seen my name in print more than enough to last me a lifetime, but back then I'd been eager for the fame and fortune a high-up position at a top-end law firm would bring me. I'd been hungry for it.

Fueled by it.

I shrugged. "So I worked my ass off. You don't get all of that by spending your weekends drunk at frat parties trying to feel up equally drunk girls you'd never even thought about touching if you'd been sober."

"Like Tanya," she snorted, though I could see by the apologetic look she shot me immediately afterwards, that she hadn't really meant to speak those words.

"I guess you're right," I chuckled. And she was. I wouldn't have touched Tanya with a bargepole had I not been dead drunk.

"But you didn't return after you graduated from Harvard Law," Bella stated, letting her voice trail off at the end.

"I didn't,' I nodded. "I knew I had a job waiting for me at Masen & Platt whenever I wanted it, but it just didn't feel right. I didn't want to build my career on the fact that I was somebody's nephew. I wanted to make it because of who _I_ was."

"And did you?"

I shrugged. "I was hired by a pretty good firm. Who knows where I might have gone if…."

"If your dad hadn't gotten arrested," she finished for me, her hand seeking mine over the tablecloth. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" I shrugged a jolt of electricity coursing through my veins when her small hand folded itself around mine. "You didn't have anything to do with it."

"You must hate him."

My smile was bitter and a perfect match for my feelings. "I wasn't too fond of him before all of this shit either. I try to reign it in for my mom's sake, though."

"Poor Esme," she sighed, gently squeezing my hand.

"Yeah," I breathed. "But at least she got one of the things she always wanted."

Bella frowned as she looked at me like I'd gone mad. 'What?"

I chuckled at her expression. "She wanted me to join my uncle's firm."

She studied me for a moment, her eyes tightening as she tried to read something in my face as her free hand was occupied swirling her wine around in her glass. "But are _you_ happy there?"

"Happy enough," I shrugged. "So what about you?"

"What about me?" she quipped, retracting her hand much to my displeasure.

"How did you end up back in Seattle, studying to be a journalist?" I clarified. "Last thing I knew you wanted to be a part-time martial arts teacher while you took care of our five children."

She scowled at me. "I distinctly remember that it was you who wanted five kids and I never really went along with that, but if you really want to know…."

Her eyes became glazy as they drifted off to sceneries that weren't to be found in this room. "Life in Venice was so different from what I knew….I spent the first couple of months walking around shell-shocked wondering where the hell I was…. It was almost like Alice, stumbling into Wonderland…..But after a while I started to see the beauty of the place and its people. I'd spend days going straight to the boulevard after school just so that I could watch people going about their lives; seeing things, doing things, reacting to things."

She shrugged. "They intrigued me."

"Then why didn't you become a psychologist?" I asked.

She smiled. "I did actually think about it but in the end I felt like I wanted to _tell_ stories, not just listen to them and stay silent. Plus, I shudder to think what kind of insights I might have derived on my own family members if I'd pursued a degree in psychology."

I grimaced, my mind immediately taken back to those damned pictures I found.

She chuckled at my expression. "And you haven't even met my Aunt Lola yet."

I frowned. "Wasn't she the one with all the dogs?"

Now it was Bella's time to grimace. "Yep. And she's one scary ass dog-lady too. I still have nightmares about those annoying little mutts eating my favorite pair of Chucks."

"So how did you end up back in Seattle?" I wanted to know. She could have studied to be a journalist anywhere. Why here?

"This may sound strange," she snickered, "but I really missed Washington after a while."

I snorted. "You mean the constant rain and the chilliness?"

"That and all the green." She rolled her eyes before turning serious again. "I missed my dad and – I don't know – I just missed being normal….being around _normal_ people."

I snickered. Knowing Renee I just knew what she meant by that. "But you didn't head up to Washington straight out of high school, right? I mean….." I fumbled, not quite knowing how to phrase the rest of my question.

"Seeing as I'm still in college as opposed to out there with the rest of the bitter and unemployed former journalism majors?" she chuckled.

"I wouldn't have put it like that…." I started.

"But it's what it all boils down to, isn't it?" she added, her wide smile telling me she was still making fun of the situation.

"I guess." I shrugged, playing along with her.

"It was my mom," she started, scowling as I snorted at the obviousness of her statement. _Of course. I should have known that anything having to do with Bella being held up yet another year had something to do with that insane hippie nympho of a mother of hers. _

"She convinced me to take a year off after I'd finished high school," she went on, "half of which would be spent traveling the country, the other half spending some time with my dad and his new family before I'd have to go off to the big city for college."

She shrugged, her smile faltering a bit. "I think part of her was still hoping she could change my mind about moving back to Seattle."

"She was against it?" I asked, my interest – both professional and personal – piqued by this new information.

Bella shrugged. "She was never really in favor of institutions of any kind and I guess it's safe to say that schools were at the top of her shit-list. The fact that I'd chosen to go back to the state she'd basically fled from was only the icing on the cake."

"Do you…." I started, trying to phrase my next question carefully so as not to eradicate the progress we'd made since the last time I'd screwed up.

"What?" she asked, playing with her desert spoon as our waiter carefully placed a hot plate of crème brule in front of her.

I waited until he was out of earshot before I continued; both because I didn't want anyone eavesdropping on our conversation and because it bought me some more time to come up with the right words. "Do you ever think that maybe your mom was in on it too?"

The expected questions and angry words failed to make their appearance. Instead, my question was received with a sad smile and averted eyes as Bella focused her attention on the breaking of the caramel crust on her desert. "I _know_ she was, Edward," she finally admitted.

"What?" I tried to stay in control of my emotions as anger, disappointment and curiosity battled for dominance. "How long?"

"Not long," she answered quickly. "When I was on the phone with Aro he said something about my mom that seemed to imply that he knew her and then – when I spoke to her on the phone yesterday morning – she all but confirmed it."

"And you never thought that maybe this was something I'd want to know?" I asked, trying to keep my voice free of venom. "I know it's hard for you to trust me but…."

"I know," she interrupted me, "and I'm sorry. This is all so surreal. Here I am, covering my fist murder case and suddenly my mom's name pops up as a possible party in it? I don't know what to do anymore….who to talk to…what to reveal. It's all just so…."

"Fucked up?" I suggested, knowing all too well how she must have felt.

She nodded, smiling apologetically. "I'm sorry if my mistake messed up stuff for you and your dad's defense team. Hell, I feel bad for even dumping my shit on you when your dad…."

"Don't," I said, reaching out to pat her hand. "I was sort of prepared for the mess I walked into. You weren't."

She shrugged. "Still….." The rest of her sentence didn't have to be said. We both understood each other perfectly and – as we completed our dinner – we stayed far away from subjects that might lead us back to our families or the case we were both working on.

So we stuck to the weather – which we agreed was quite good for the time of the year – and Justin Bieber – who we both hated. All too soon it was time for us to part ways again, the late hour making our drive back to Bella's building smooth but far too short.

"So," Bella fidgeted, her fingers playing with her keys as she nervously shifted her weight from one foot to the other. "I guess I'll see you next Friday?"

I nodded, my palms clammy as I fumbled for the right words to phrase my question. "I guess…..unless…."

"What?" Bella asked, her brows shooting all the way into her hairline as she noticed my odd behavior.

"I wonder….could I call you tomorrow or something?" I shrugged. "Just to…I don't know…catch up and stuff?"

"Oh." It didn't escape my notice that her cheeks blushed a vibrant red, the color just visible in the glow of the headlights. "I guess….."

I grinned, inwardly doing a little manly happy dance. "Great!"

Bella just rolled her eyes in reply, the silence growing heavier by the minute as I frantically wracked my brain for something to say, anything to prolong the inevitable.

Bella's loud yawn sealed our faith though as, though she scrambled to apologize, I could see how tired she was. "I should leave you to get some sleep."

I exited the car before she could, walking around to her side to help her get out, my chivalry rewarded with another blush and a shy smile. "Good night, Bella," I reluctantly bade her as I walked her up to the door.

She looked as disappointed as I felt as she looked up to me. "I'll talk to you tomorrow?"

"You bet!" I assured her, flashing a smile before deciding that, seeing as we were now friends – well, sort of – and it was perfectly okay for friends to do so, I wrapped her small body into a hug, relishing for a moment as the sweet scent of strawberries and _Bella_ invaded my system.

For a moment we just stood there, wrapped up in each other, but then I could feel her tense up and withdraw, impelling me to step away. "Was that too much?" I asked, laughing nervously. "I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me. I just…"

"It was fine," Bella muttered, sucking her bottom lip in between her teeth. "Just a little unexpected."

When she looked up at me with a reassuring smile I wanted nothing more than to close the gap and kiss her. The kiss we'd shared only a few days earlier was still fresh in my memory and it had left me hungry for more.

But it wasn't to be.

She had a boyfriend.

She wasn't mine to kiss.

And so I stepped away, wished her a good night and watched her as she disappeared into the building before I made my way back to my car to drive home.

Alone but strangely hopeful.

Over the course of the following week, not a day passed in which Bella and I didn't have some kind of contact. Though we didn't meet in person – we were both too busy with me being stuck in court during the day and in the office at night and Bella struggling to get all her coursework and obligations towards the newspaper out of the way so that she could join us on our trip to Forks – we talked every day through phone calls or short text messages. And every day I fell a little harder for her…

And hated her boyfriend just a little bit more.

I knew, from a few things Bella had told me about him, that their relationship had hit a rough patch. Though Bella didn't really want to talk about it all that much, I got the feeling that he was in it a lot deeper than she was, which was something that had me walking around with a huge, shit-eating grin on my face for the best part of Wednesday.

I also knew that there was something she wasn't telling me, but I had no idea what it was. She was still holding back and, from the way she sometimes 'shut down' during our conversations, I knew she still didn't completely trust me.

So I tried harder.

I had to somehow convince her, as well as myself, that I really was changing from the angry, arrogant motherfucker she'd met outside her door a couple of weeks ago to a more likeable (and maybe even loveable) kind of person.

I called her again on Thursday evening while I was on my way back home from work late at night. A fraud case I'd been working on had had me working overtime to wrestle my way through stacks of paperwork until the security guard literally kicked me out at ten thirty because he had to engage the security alarm.

"Do you always work this late?" Bella chuckled. I'd caught her just as she was wrapping up an article about student housing she'd written for _The Daily_.

"Sometimes," I shrugged. "How about you?"

"Most of the time," she admitted. "It kind of comes with the job, but I guess the same thing goes for you."

"Yeah," I nodded. That and the fact that going home didn't sound all that appealing to me at the moment. "So…I wanted to touch base with you about tomorrow….."

"Right," she answered.

"Is three o'clock okay for you?" I asked, remembering the time me and Jasper had agreed upon. It would give us just about enough time to escape town before the start of rush hour traffic.

"It's fine," she answered with a smile. "I have only one class and it ends at noon which should give me more than enough time to wrap up at _The Daily_ and pack my things. Are _you_ still okay with me tagging along for the ride?"

"I don't see why not," I shrugged. "I don't know what kind of car Jasper drives, but it's bound to be a whole lot safer than yours is."

She growled adorably into the phone. "Did you and my dad compare notes or something? And – just for your information – that's not why I asked. I was just wondering if it wouldn't be more comfortable for you to drive up to Forks without a pesky journalist eavesdropping on your conversations from the back seat."

I chuckled. "It'll be fine, Bella. Jasper's wife is also tagging along for the trip so I doubt we would have been able to talk shop, even if we wanted to."

"Right," she snorted. "So instead of just going on a road trip with a bunch of lawyers I now also have to worry about making a good impression on a lawyers' wife."

"You have nothing to worry about," I reassured her. "I think you and Alice will get along great."

I could almost see her roll her eyes at me on the other end of the line. "Edward! You _know_ me! You know how fail I am at making a good first impression!"

I snickered, not telling her how Alice was already half in love with her from the stuff I'd told her about her. "Believe me, you'll be fine."

We talked some more as I drove back home, her voice keeping me from falling asleep or giving in to my anger towards my fellow road users. _Seriously? I thought you'd actually have to show you could drive before they gave you a driver's license….._

We said goodbye as I pulled up in front of my house, with Bella laughing at my apparent road rage and me feeling a whole lot calmer than I usually did by the time I got home.

My feelings of calmness soon vanished when I entered my home, the raised voices of my mom and dad carrying all the way from his study at the back of the house.

"Don't do this, Carlisle," I could hear my mother plead. "_Please_."

I unwittingly drifted in the directions of the voices as I listened for my father's reply. "I'm sorry, love, but you _have_ to understand….."

"I've stood by and watched you tear this family apart," my mom's voice spoke in bitterness and anger, "because you asked me to and because deep down inside I always believed that there would come a time when you would tell the truth of your own volition. I did nothing, even if it made me feel like the worst of mothers and not much of a person but I still held my head up high because I trusted you to one day do the _right thing_."

There was a pause and, as I heard an anguished sob, I almost barged into the room but thought better of it when my mother spoke again. 'That day isn't going to come, is it Carlisle? You're prepared to trade your _life _for your silence…."

"Esme," dad sighed and I could hear the rustling of clothes as he probably made his was over to her. "Please, listen to me when I say…."

"No!" my mom spoke resolutely and, as I inched closer I could see her push him away. "I won't let you sweet-talk me into submission, Carlisle. _Not this time._"

There was another pause as she rounded on my dad, who, judging by his body language, looked more scared than angry. "Do you have _any_ idea how long I've had to fight to get Edward back here? Back to us? He walked away from the life he'd built for himself and I won't stand by and do nothing as you force him to give up the one good thing he got out of his sacrifice."

I stepped forward, revealing my presence to them, before I'd even realized it. "What the hell is going on?"

Mom gasped, clasping a hand in front of her mouth as she looked at me, her eyes silently pleading with me for ….. _something_.

My dad, meanwhile, somehow managed to recompose himself because he looked at me with his usual calm and composed attitude as he spoke. "This wasn't the way I intended to let you know, but now that we're here I might as well get this over with now."

"Carlisle," mom muttered, holding her hand as if it might stop him.

"I want you to resign from my defense team," Dad went on, not even looking at her.

"What?" I cried, my hands clenching and unclenching beside my body in an attempt to keep them from smashing ever last piece of furniture in the room. "Why?"

For a moment I thought I could see a break in my father's pokerfaced. Years of built up self-hate and regret leaping to the surface for the smallest hint of a moment before diving deep under the smooth façade again. "You should never have been allowed to be a part of the team in the first place. Your relation to me is creating a conflict of interest and could become a problem when this case goes to court."

"A problem?" I yelled. "I'll tell you what the fucking problem is: it's the fact that _you_ won't say a fucking word to defend yourself! You could have the whole damned family on your team for all I care but as long as you keep lying and dancing around the truth you're the only one who's going to mess up this case."

"Edward," mom pleaded, her hand wrapping around one of my arms. "Please calm down."

"Calm down?" my eyes shot fire at her, causing her to take a few small steps back ward. "Did you even hear what he just said?"

"That's enough," dad's voice thundered through the room. "I won't have you speaking to your mother like that! I've made up my mind and that's that. Either you resign of your own volition or I will undertake steps to have you removed from the team. The choice is up to you."

I could see that he was dead serious, his steel blue eyes piercing through the room as they tried to coerce me into submission. "Fine," I relented with a bitter snort after a few moments had passed. "Have it your way. I quit."

"Edward!" mom gasped, her eyes shooting frantically from my dad – who was looking mightily smug at the moment – and me. "You can't just…."

I silenced her by holding up my hand. "On one condition."

My dad's smug smile plummeted like a rock into the ocean and it was hard to suppress a sense of triumph as I uttered my demand. "I quit, if you give full disclosure of everything you know about the Volturi to the team as well as in court."

Now it was my turn to be the smug bastard because, if I knew my dad like I thought I knew him, I'd just landed him straight between a rock and a hard place.

Which suited me just fine.

* * *

_**Score one for Edward!**_

_**What do you think? Did he (slightly) redeem himself with his explanation? How angry are you with Bella for keeping her relational status under wraps? Are you excited for the trip to Forks?**_

_**Voting has started in the Sparkleteer Rare Gem Awards. Absolution is up for an award for "best story" (diamond in the rough-category) but a lot of other amazing stories are nominated in many different categories as well. Copy paste the link and erase the spaces and it should take you to the voting ballot. thesparkleteerawards. /p /voting. html**_

_**Follow me on twitter for updates on my writing and everything else. I'm missbaby25 over there. **_

_**As always…..reviewers will get teased. And maybe there might be a teeny tiny little (creepy) Thanksgiving present posted on Wednesday. **_


	22. Chapter 22

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. I am in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise, I just use their creations to have my wicked way with them. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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* * *

**

_**This story wouldn't be what it is without my wonderful beta, **_**The Real Teacher**_**, holding my hand and correcting my many errors. Thank you so much!**_

* * *

_**Here's the creepy little present I told you about on Monday. It's Aro's POV so you know what that means…..**_

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**- 21 -**

"You cannot keep ignoring this," Caius raged, the whites in his eyes showing as he all but hit me with the folded piece of offending paper. "We have to deal with her before she undoes us all!"

"I agree." Caius had the good grace to appear shocked, his anger somewhat abating as he stared at me. "But not in the way you would like me to."

"Aro," he growled. "I can't understand why….."

I held up my hand to stop him, the look on my face promptly causing him to comply. "One of these days you will go too far, my friend," I warned him. Trusted as my right hand man was, especially when it came to the somewhat more….violent aspects of my organizations, he had the habit of letting his anger get the better of him, a trait I could see in much of my men.

They would have to keep their heads in check around me, though, if they didn't want them to be chopped off. For as much cause for violence this organization provided them with, they also knew me to be an unforgiving lord if that violence was displayed in inopportune moments.

Secrecy and respect for your betters were to be upheld at all times, on punishment of death.

He hung his head in apology, knowing that even a _princeps_ in the Volturi wasn't beyond danger. "I apologize, _Dominus_, but…"

"My plans have been too long in the making to abandon them now," I spoke, "especially now that those two appear to be rekindling their old flame. We will go ahead as planned….."

I looked at him sharply, killing all remonstrations in the bud. "…but that is not to say that you cannot…dissuade the Swan girl from coming any closer."

Caius sat back against the smooth leather upholstery of my town car, a bemused smile playing on his lips now that I had fed him this bone. "What are you suggesting, _Dominus_?"

"Deal with the pup," I shrugged. "And use the outcome to scare her off. Our little _magistra_ is already doing what she can to keep the girl at bay and I reckon the combination of both our efforts should be enough to tie us over until the time is ripe…"

"When will that be?" I could hear from the tone of his voice that Caius remained skeptical.

I couldn't blame him. In fact, if I had not been so dead set on having the Swan girl, she would have ended up on the bottom of the Sound a long time ago purely because she was too good at what she did.

The article that would come out tomorrow would cause a stir amongst my legions, many of the assumptions the girl had made on what thin proof she had being right on the mark and hitting us a little too close for comfort.

It was a good thing we were getting very close to taking her, because she was getting too dangerous for her own good and I would hate to see a woman as beautiful and feisty as her wasted before she could even be used.

"Soon, my friend. " I chuckled. "I do not think you've come to know me as a patient man over the years and I reckon I've waited long enough." I let my eyes drift out of the window, watching the rural scenery fly by as we made our way back to the city.

Yes, I'd waited long enough. This plan had been twenty-four years in the making; twenty-four years of standing by as she lived her life in the delusion of freedom. Ten years of suffering two traitors in our midst. Three years of knowing that vengeance was never so close yet still at arm's length and – finally – one delicious months of planning and rejoicing as finally the pieces started to slide into place.

This was going to be perfect.

It had to be.

In just a few more weeks – maybe even days – I would show those traitors that the Volturi were not to be messed with. They had robbed me off one of my priceless possessions and between them mocked me and violated every rule we held sacred and in retaliation we would take away their future and destroy them, just as they'd sought to destroy us.

Through my plan I would go into the annals as the greatest _Dominus_ the Volturi had ever known – if ever there was any doubt about that.

And no one would ever even think about betraying the Volturi ever again.

The fact that little Isabella and young Edward had seemed to drift back in each other's arms was just the icing on the cake of my plans. I had never expected it to happen, but it would make getting the two of them where I wanted them to be that much easier….and the effect that much more dramatic.

_Yes_, I mused to myself, _I would break the boy first and use his destruction to bring brave little Isabella to her knees. The boy was worthless apart from the needs to an end he served. The girl, however…..she was invaluable. She would serve me – and only me – until I had my fill of her and then I would be the one to take her away. _

But I had a feeling that wouldn't be for some time.

"_Dominus_?" I looked up to see Caius staring at me expectantly. "Was there anything else I could do to serve you?"

I though, tapping my chin as in the distance I could see the high-rise buildings of downtown Seattle appear across the skyline. "Make sure the _Punitori_ are on standby," I ordered. "We will need them to strike as soon as the time comes. I will contact Marcus to find out what he knows about the boy and his plans."

"Yes, Dominus," he nodded.

"And make sure the Keechelus Lake property is ready when we need it," I added.

Because when the moment came, we would have to be ready.

Soon.

* * *

_**How did you like this little sneak peek into the Volturi's plans?**_

_**Happy Thanksgiving to all those celebrating. I hope you'll all have a wonderful day tomorrow.**_

_**Miss Baby**_


	23. Chapter 23

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. I am in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise, I just use their creations to have my wicked way with them. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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* * *

**

_**This story wouldn't be what it is without my wonderful beta, **_**The Real Teacher**_**, holding my hand and correcting my many errors. Thank you so much!**_

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**- 22 -**

"Are you sure Jerry is going to last the entire way?" I rolled my eyes at dad's latest attempt to keep me from spending the weekend with Edward. "You've been asking rather a lot from that old hunk of junk lately."

"Dad," I groaned, rubbing my forehead. "I'll be fine. I'm hitching a ride with Edward's colleague so there's no need to worry."

A new day had dawned and with it had come yet another annoying phone call at the ass crack of dawn, interrupting the first dream I'd had in days that didn't involve any kind of physical activity whatsoever. _I know….shocking, right?_

I'd been lying slap bang in the middle of a beautiful meadow, filled with flowers in just about every color in the rainbow, when suddenly the peaceful singing of birds and buzzing of bees and other idyllic insects (_okay, so this was the part of the dream I wasn't too happy about since I absolutely hated all insects, especially bees_) had been disturbed by Survivor's _Eye of the Tiger._

Daddy.

And he wasn't too pleased with me either.

_What was this? National piss off your parents week?_

But then again, I guess he had a point. After all, I was bringing the enemy into Forks. Well….according to him anyway.

"No need to worry?" dad balked. "My baby girl is hitching a ride with some unknown punk and I'm not supposed to worry?"

Did I mention that my father wasn't too enthused when he heard about my plans for the weekend? I gathered that most of it had to do with the company I was keeping and not so much with the fact that I was coming home for the weekend, but it still kind of stung a bit.

"He's a lawyer, dad," I snorted. "It's not like he's some drugged up college kid or something."

"Even worse," he grumbled. "Lawyers are notorious for speeding around in their fancy cars and causing all kinds of dangerous situations on the road. They somehow seem to think that because they _know_ the law they are somehow placed above it."

I sighed, once again raising my eyes to the heavens. "I'll tell him to stick to traffic regulations."

"I'm only looking out for my own flesh and blood," dad grumbled, pausing when his main objection to my visit had been shot to pieces. "I hope those friends of yours don't plan on staying at the house, though. If push comes to shove we'll put them up regardless but they'd have to share the sofa because I only just about managed to squeeze a folding bed into Sue's studio..."

"They are staying at the Cullens' home," I interrupted him. "Edward's mom has already made arrangements for it to be cleaned and aired in advance."

"Good," he mumbled, ceasing his opposition for now.

The peace and quiet didn't last for long though. "Did I mention I ran into Jake a few days back?"

"Dad!" I groaned. I knew he was going to bring it up at some point, but that didn't mean I liked it.

"He looked absolutely miserable, poor boy," my father went on, undeterred by any objections I might have had.

"Dad!" I repeated, a little more forcefully this time. "Don't go there."

"I still don't see why…." He interjected.

"DAD!" I cried.

"Fine," he grumbled. "Anyway….Sue says she expects you and _that boy_ for dinner tonight. Oh and I guess he can bring his friend as well."

There were only a few things in life I was looking less forward to than the prospect of having to subject Edward, Jasper and Jasper's wife to dinner with my family. It was bound to be both awkward and embarrassing and that was even before I'd have to convince Edward to go behind enemy lines and meet with my former – though he didn't know that yet – boyfriend's dad.

Why did I have to go out to Forks again this weekend?

"Do you think Sue can squeeze in one more?" I asked. "Edward told me Jasper's bringing his wife along."

"Whatever!" dad replied. "I think she'll manage. The more the merrier, right?"

I, for one, sure hoped it would be. "I'll see you tonight, dad," I sighed. "And please…try to be…I don't know…at least…_civil_ to Edward? He's sorry about what happened back then and…well….he's going through a lot right now."

Dad sighed, his breath echoing through the receiver. "I'll try," he finally grumbled. "But if that boy so much as breathes in a way I don't like…."

I rolled my eyes, thankful that my dad wasn't in a position to see me right now. "I'll make sure he's on his best behavior."

We chatted some more about subjects that were a little less laden than the ones we'd been discussing before until my dad had to hang up to go to work, which gave me just about enough time to take a long, lazy shower before breakfast, my time underneath the hot, comforting stream of water proving to be the perfect opportunity to think.

And boy did I need to think!

When I got home late last night my mind had been far too buzzed with the events of the evening to for any sort of coherent thought so instead I'd settled on watching a TIVO'd episode of _Glee_ while eating insane amounts of chocolate before eventually passing out into a sugar coma.

Until, of course, Chief Swan had barged in and killed my buzz.

So now I was tired and grumpy and with too much time on my hands before I could justify going to class, there was no way I could put off contemplating my feelings for Edward Cullen any longer.

And I'd have to do all of that without chocolate, since I'd eaten all of the peanut brittle last night.

_Great_.

I sighed, looking at my reflection in the mirror as I waited for the water to heat up. I was still pale and plain looking, the only remarkable thing about me being the bluish bruises underneath my eyes due to being woken up too damned early by my 'loved ones'. If I looked any further I might have also been able to notice the 'boobs that never were' and limbs that had failed to achieve their full potential. In short: I was a twenty something wannabe siren trapped in the body of a twelve year old boy.

I had nothing to offer him. _But God did I want him to want me. _

I was going against my better judgment; against reason; hell, I might have even been going against the laws of nature. But since last night I knew that there was no stopping the inevitable.

I was in love with Edward Cullen.

God help me.

Yesterday's non-date _(though really: who was I kidding?)_ had been such a rollercoaster affair. When Edward had launched into his apology I didn't really know what to expect. I'd been waiting for so long for him to own up to his mistakes that the moment itself couldn't be anything but a huge anticlimax.

But it was still good.

As I listened to his words it felt as though a huge weight was slowly lifting from my shoulders; the ballast of not knowing what had happened that day slowly slipping away as the blind spots got colored in with an account of events that surprised me more than I'd ever dared to imagine.

_He came back for me. _

_He'd been looking for me._

_He'd been the one to call my dad. _

_He'd made sure they found me….he'd made sure I was safe._

It didn't make what happened all right or even remotely okay, but knowing that he hadn't been cruel enough to abandon me in the forest without so much as an afterthought was a big relief to me. The way he'd dumped me had been cruel and unjustified even if you followed his warped up chain of logic, but it didn't feel like an unmovable obstacle anymore.

That was, until he'd brushed it all off as 'no biggie'.

I doubt Edward had thought it through before he'd let the words slip, but when he spoke about his new insights and confessions as 'growing up', something inside me had snapped. I wasn't sure why I was making such a huge deal out of it, but to me it had felt like he still wasn't taking all of this serious.

Like he still wasn't taking me serious.

Sure, I could see signs of improvement in him. He didn't speak of my mom as a whore anymore and he was actually making an effort to be nice to me, but I knew that deep down inside, the cocky and arrogant asshole I'd encountered in the hallway a few weeks ago was still alive and kicking and panting to get out again.

I don't know whether it had been the distressing sound of alarm bells going off or if I just wasn't ready to abandon my safety net just yet but it was somewhere around that time that I made up my mind not to tell Edward about my breakup with Jake just yet.

Lame? Yes. But for some reason I just couldn't get the words out.

My mind had been making all kinds of excuses and justifications for my decision like the fact that technically Jake and I hadn't officially broken up or that Edward had never asked about the state of my love life, but I knew that what it all boiled down to in the end was that I was shit scared to admit to myself and to him that I was available.

I snorted, the sound echoing off the bathroom walls making it seem as if I was mocking myself.

Which, I guess was as close to the truth as I was going to get.

Because really, who was I trying to kid here? In my whole life there had only been one guy I'd ever made myself available to.

And his name was Edward Cullen.

I should have been shocked to realize that, since I'd invested three years of my life in a relationship with a guy I now knew I wasn't well and truly smitten with. But I wasn't.

I was thoroughly ashamed of myself though.

I'd strung a good man along for years when I should have realized after two weeks that he wasn't the guy for me. I'd listened as he revealed his dreams to me and stood by as he started planning our future but had done nothing to open his eyes to the truth.

In a way, I'd been no better than Edward. In fact, by prolonging my decision and allowing Jake's to hopes to grow I might have even been crueler to him than Edward had been to me. He'd just ripped of the band aid in one painful but merciful movement whereas I'd spend hours torturously separating it from the skin one excruciating millimeter at a time.

"Okay Bella," I muttered to myself. "Time to get your ass out of this shower before you drift off into even gloomier realms and try to drown yourself."

It wasn't until I took a good look at my hands that I realized how long I must have been standing under the water, the skin pruned like that nasty tutti-fucking-frutti my mom always tried to get me to eat when I was young.

And speaking of my mom…

I let out a deep sigh as Edward's words about those pictures he found drifted back into the forefront of my mind.

"_There was an envelope stuck in the bottom drawer of his desk. It contained pictures or people doing drugs, getting it on with pretty much everyone in the room and engaging in all sorts of other stuff that I don't even want to think about." _

As I went over his words again, trying not to think about how it was my mother he was talking about, I suddenly got the feeling that there was something…._iffy_ about all of this.

Something wasn't right.

For starters: why would Carlisle leave those pictures out in a desk, where they could be found by his wife or his son? The desk drawer Edward had mentioned finding them in had probably been locked or at least closed, but if Edward had managed to get in there during one of the few moments his dad had been absent from his study, it couldn't have been too safe a place.

"No," I muttered to myself, startling myself by the sound of my own voice, magnified by the echo of the tiled bathroom walls. "He must have been in a hurry to conceal them and left them there temporarily."

I frowned, my mind skipping further along that little avenue of thought. "But why take them out in the first place?"

For some reason the thought that Carlisle would have invited my mom over for tea and a light snack just so that they could kick back and reminisce about the old days while going over some pictures of the orgies they'd engaged in back then didn't make sense.

No, there had to be more to it than that.

It was then that suddenly some of the conversation we'd overheard that day came back to me, though the words suddenly took on a whole different meaning.

"_It's going to be alright. Let's just pretend none of this even happened and….." _

"_But Carlisle!" _

"_No Renee! Can't you see? If this comes out we'd be in much more trouble than we are now. We have to keep this a secret!" _

I gasped, as I suddenly realized what had been staring me in the face all along. They weren't talking about an affair, they were talking about those pictures!

In fact, now that I was thinking about it, those damned pictures might have just arrived that day, explaining why my mom was there in the first place and why both of them had been on high alert.

My Eureka-moment was cut short, however, by a loud bang on the door. "Bellybug! If you want to have some breakfast before you have to leave, you'd better drag your lazy ass out of that shower. It's almost time to go!"

Just the words I so didn't want to hear. And that wasn't just because Angela had just called me 'bellybug' knowing full well how much I hated that nickname.

"Yes, mom!" I groaned, finally noticing – now that the adrenaline rush was staring to wear off – that I was still standing stark naked and wet as a dog in the middle of my bathroom.

_Can someone spell pneumonia? _

After drying myself off and rubbing some lotion into my skin I waddled my way back into my bedroom, selecting a nice cherry-colored cardigan and some dark-rinsed boot cut jeans to wear as I scrambled to find a tank top that smelled fresh enough to wear, before heading off in search of food and – more importantly – caffeine.

"Morning," I yawned, stumbling my way into the kitchen.

"Morning, Bella," Ben chuckled, sliding a hot mug filled with the black elixir of the Gods my way.

I closed my eyes, inhaling the strong aroma of my coffee. "You're a good man, Benjamin Cheney."

"Be sure to tell that to my future father in law next time you see him." He chuckled. "So how did your date with Cullen go? I didn't hear you come in last night."

I could feel Angela's eyes boring their way into my back even without seeing her and so I shrugged, trying to play it down as much as I could. "It was okay. We talked and stuff."

"You didn't tell him."Angela stated.

I turned, taking a seat at the breakfast bar next to her. "Nope."

Ben frowned. "Tell him what?"

"Edward still thinks Bella and Jake are together," Angela clarified.

"No way," Ben breathed, looking a little disgusted thought I wasn't sure with whom. "And he still took you out on a date? That's not right. You don't move in on another man's woman, no matter how much you want her."

"Easy there, preacher," I chuckled. "Before you condemn him, please know that I explicitly stressed that it wasn't a date we were going on. Just friends having dinner."

"You should have told him." Angela's voice sounded more and more accusing.

I knew she was right, though knowing and admitting were two completely different things. "I didn't."

"How do you think he's going to react when he finds out?" she went on. "I mean, the two of you are going to spend the weekend traipsing around Forks together. He's bound to find out at some point or other and I can tell you now, sister, he's not going to be happy when he finds out you kept this shit from him."

"I know." I sighed. "I'll tell him before we get there, okay?"

Angela sighed when she caught the sad look on my face. "I know why you're doing it, honey, but you're not being fair to the guy. God knows I don't really like Edward Cullen but I do think he deserves to know where he stands with you. Hiding behind an imaginary boyfriend isn't going to do anything for you in the long run."

"Jake's not an imaginary boyfriend," I grumbled.

"True," Angela shrugged. "But he's not your boyfriend either. At least, not anymore."

"Will you please tell him that?" I sulked, wondering how my love life had turned into such a shambles all of a sudden. "Because I don't think Jake got that particular message the first time I said it or the many times after that…"

She didn't seem too sold on the plan, though any objections she might have had were smothered in the sound of the doorbell. "I'll get it," she grumbled, sliding out of her seat and stomping over to the front door.

"I'd tell you to lock your door tonight, if you weren't going away for the weekend," Ben joked. "Seeing as it is you better bring her some kind of peace offering when you get back from your trip. You know how she gets …."

I snorted. "I do, unfortunately." Angela had never been one to back away when she saw what she thought of as an injustice, whether it was something big like baby seals being clubbed to death or a friend doing something or being on the receiving end of something she thought was wrong. Where other people would just shrug it off and mind their own business she would hound the guilty party on and on until in the end he or she had no other option but to relent.

I'd been in this position too many times to underestimate her.

I grimaced, remembering the great condiment drama of 2008 (which had Angela hounding the diner across the road for as long as it took for them to give up on trying to charge their customers for ketchup) as I retrieved my bag and coat from my room, a glance at the clock telling me that I was already running late.

I found Angela chatting amicably with the mailman on my way out. "You've got a package, Bella," she chirped as she spotted me speed walking into the small foyer.

I snorted. "God I hope not! I'm a girl!"

The mailman was nice enough to chuckle while Angela merely rolled her eyes and punched me in the arm. "Do you want me to put it in your room?" she asked, waving the FedEx box in the air. "I don't have to leave for some time and you look like you're in kind of a rush."

"You'd better start praying that whatever's in there isn't breakable," I warned, as I fished my keys out of the bowl on the side table. "And yeah, you can put it on the bed next to the stuff I'd laid out for this weekend."

Angela's eyes lit up, the FedEx delivery guy immediately forgotten as she turned on me. "You laid out stuff? I never thought I'd see the day."

I shrugged, fidgeting about as I watched the FedEx guy – who was probably praising the Lord for this unexpected opportunity to escape Angela Weber and FBI interrogation skills – walk off towards the elevator. "I don't have much time when I get home and…."

"Liar!" she giggled. "You just want to look all pretty for Edward this weekend. Admit it!"

"Do not!" I grumbled, before hightailing it out of the apartment and ducking into the elevator before the still kind of shell-shocked FedEx delivery guy could take off without me. I had a feeling that when I got back the pile of clothes I'd laid out would probably have double in size and that most of the additions would be frilly, lacey and flimsy.

I picked up an edition of _The Daily_ on my way into the Communications Building, a broad smile almost splitting my face in half when I saw my name and my article printed prominently across the front page, the smiles of approval from my fellow journalism majors and some of the staff I garnered on my way to the lecture hall only confirming what I already knew.

This article was one to be proud about.

How often was it that a college newspaper journalist managed to stumble across a find not even the major independent papers had been able to spot?

And this was only the beginning.

Now that I'd done two fairly informative pieces on the victim and the organization that linked Jane's case to a very similar one, I was kind of eager to fully submerge myself into this case. With Carlisle's trial coming up in a few weeks and more and more pieces of the puzzle starting to slide into place, I knew I was in for a busy time.

As well as a dangerous one.

I grimaced, walking into the lecture hall (and it wasn't just from the sight of Tanya Denali scowling at me from the first row). The more I learned about the Volturi, the harder I wanted to run in the other direction. As excited as I was to be a part in an actual murder investigation, I still knew I was in over my head and – quite possibly – landing myself in all sorts of danger I had no defense against.

The Volturi weren't going to be pleased when they found out about the pesky little reporter who was chopping away at their time-old secrets. And, if my gut-feeling about this was right, they had a rather stringent way of getting rid of the people they didn't like.

_A 'fourteen knife-stabs to the chest' kind of stringent. _

It almost made me yearn for the days when I'd been assigned to report about the universities' parking policy or the perks and personal benefits they weren't strictly entitled to certain members of staff were still receiving in times of great financial turmoil and cut backs. I used to piss people off in those days as well, but not in a way that might have me end up like poor Jane Foster.

I slouched into my chair, my unease growing the more I started to think about what I'd gotten myself into.

_A mess, that much was for sure. _

Would it do wise to walk away now, while I still had the chance?

Mom seemed to think so. After our conversation about a week back, she'd taken to calling me almost daily, demanding to know where I was, what I was working on and – more importantly – that I step away from the Jane Foster murder case.

Should I do it?

Did I want to?

I couldn't deny that the answer to that question wasn't a decided 'no' any longer.

Soon after, though, my attention was demanded by my _Ethics in Mass Communication _seminar, the subject matter grabbing my attention even without professor Norrell's gripping way of presenting it.

Unlike my other – mandatory – Ethics class, which was mainly theoretical, this one had a much more practical approach, delving into cases where journalists were balancing along the lines of what was tolerable, legal and/or just. And unlike professor Rhodes, professor Victoria Norrell and her very recent and expansive activity in the field made for a very interesting course. Over the years she'd become both an role model and a mentor to me, often inviting me over to her office to talk about school, my career and a million other things that went on in my life. And, of course, we worked together on _The Daily_. Though she took a pretty passive approach to her job as Faculty Supervisor.

"As journalist we have a responsibility," the professor lectured, letting her eyes glide over the rows of students seated across from her in the lecture-room, "not just to present the facts, but to present them in a way that gives the reader the chance to come to their own opinion afterwards. I'm sure my colleagues in other classes have stressed this time and time again, but for formality's sake I feel the need to add my own voice to the choir: if you want to be a journalist at a quality newspaper, you are going to have to remain impartial and trustworthy at all times."

"Still, a journalist is only a human being, much like his or her audience and as human beings we can't help but get affected by the things we write about," she continued with a smile. "It's in our nature to care and though, as you gain experience in the field, you'll be able to detach yourself from the events you'll be send out to report, you can't shut down your own humanity."

I smiled at the truth in her words. I'd learned dearly on that there was no such thing as true objective journalism. Sure, as reporters we all did our best to keep our own views out of our work, but at the end of the day we were only human and sometimes it was very hard to remain professionally detached when the subject of your article was close to your heart.

_Like in the case I was currently working on. _

She paused, leaning forward on the lectern as she carefully removed her glasses from her nose and folded them. "It is a whole different matter, though, when your own personal feelings about your subjects find their way into your writing. Columnists and commentators are paid by the media to shine their light on a plethora of media events, but as a journalist – a _reporter_ – it is your job to remain objective because if you don't, you'll soon find yourself trying to influence your readers instead of just handing them the information they need to draw their own conclusions."

I sighed, catching an evil smirk from the first row as Tanya's thoughts had undoubtedly wandered in the same direction as mine.

Had lines been crossed when I started working on the Cullen case? Rose seemed to think not but then again, she was quite eager to advance herself through it, which might not have made her the best judge in this matter.

Was I too involved in the case to remain impartial?

After everything I'd found out over the last week or so, I wasn't so sure about that anymore.

As of that moment no lines had been crossed by me just yet – or at least, I didn't think they had – but then again, I'd been lucky enough to work around the Cullens and their involvement in the case by focusing on the Fosters and the Volturi. With Carlisle's case coming up soon and mom's name being mentioned by the Volturi themselves, I knew that luck was about to run out, launching me straight into that same grey area the professor had been talking about.

The professor, meanwhile went on, pushing a button that lit up the screen behind her with pictures of Nazi-Germany and how one of the most horrible regimes in the history of mankind had carefully tricked the people of Germany into believing blatant lies. "And if you follow that path further, you slide into in the dangerous area of manipulation, propaganda and – even further down the line – _indoctrination_."

Professor Norrell folded her hands underneath her chin as she studied us, her gaze resting on me for an uncomfortably long period of time before it flittered to others. "I'm not claiming any one of you has it in him or her to become the next Joseph Goebbels – or at least I hope not. What I am trying to teach you is that we as journalists have an obligation to present _facts_." She put an extra emphasis on the word, her eyes once again seeking mine as she continued.

"The minute we become personally involved in our subject matter, our ability to stick to those facts will diminish and sooner or later – no matter how resolved you are to remain professional and separate your personal opinions from your work – the lines between fact and fiction will get muddled."

I sucked my bottom lip in between my teeth, the professor's words and looks making me more and more uncomfortable. It was like she was directing every single word she spoke at me. _Did she learn about my entanglement with the Cullens and want me to hand over the case?_

Her answer to my unspoken question came soon enough. "I'm not going to lie and say it won't happen to you or that you'll all make the right decision when it does…..Hell, I've been around this particular block myself more times that I'd like to remember and not even I can say that I've always done the right thing…."

A few students chuckled as she smirked, shifting her weight from one foot to the other before shooting a encouraging smile in my direction. "Walking away from a story is never easy, especially not if it gets to you on a personal level, but in the end it's the only right thing. If you become involved in or with the subject you're writing about you _have_ to walk away. Not just because it's the right thing to do, but also because no amount of fame could ever measure up to the damage your professional reputation is going to sustain when you get caught up in a conflict of interest."

I nodded when she looked at me again, indicating I'd gotten the message loud and clear. Her answering smile told me more than any amount of words could have. I knew I'd have her support no matter what I'd chose to do, but she was also warning me that staying on the Cullen case would eventually land me in more trouble than I probably could foresee.

_Oh jolly! Just what I needed. _

I wasn't vain enough to throw her warnings aside. Professor Norrell, though she may have been a pretty recent edition to the faculty, had more than ten years of experience in the field before she became a university professor and, more importantly, had been in a position a thousand times harder than mine was a couple of years ago.

As one of the New York Times war correspondents Victoria Norrell had been embedded with the 'Fighting Fifth', an infantry battalion of the United States Marines during the first months of Operation Iraqi Freedom back in 2003. Her reports from the eye of the storm garnered a huge following, mainly because of her youth and her fresh outlook on the war. In short: she was on her way to greatness, when she fell in love with one of the soldiers from the squadron she was attached to.

At first her excitement to be a part of the news and to report it from 'inside' the events had kept her from realizing that her personal attachment to the squadron she was with was clouding her judgment. In fact, as she'd told us during a previous lecture, it had taken a phone call from one of her senior editors for her to finally come to her senses and draw the conclusion that she had to step away from the job.

Which was when disaster struck.

On her last night in Iraq her squad stumbled across a gang of enemy combatants during a recon mission outside a small town near Samarra. The professor was immediately secured inside the armored vehicle she was in, but the man she loved was captured by the militants and killed soon after. She'd flown back to the States and quit her job as a war correspondent for a position at the university, knowing that no matter what happened she would never be able to go into war with the same kind of courage and open-mindedness she used to have.

"Now, to make matters more interesting," the professor went on, her eyes shimmering with mischief, "let's take a look at a case…."

Before she could go into our case-study for the day, though, the door to the side of the room opened and Rose walked in, looking rather nervous and uncomfortable about something. _Which was a first since Rose Hale didn't do uncomfortable, let alone nervous. _

Professor Norrell's face clouded as Rose whispered something in her ear, the way her eyes immediately sought mine making me wonder whether or not it had something to do with the Cullen case.

_Boy, those Volturi worked quickly!_

"It appears that I'm going to have to let you go a little sooner than I anticipated," the professor stated as soon as Rose had finished relating her message. "So, instead of analyzing a case together, I'm going to let each one of you hit the annals and come up with an article in which – according to you – the lines between commitment and involvement have been blurred. We'll spend our next meeting discussing what you came up with."

And with that she dismissed us, standing back to let us pass. "Bella?"

A few other students stopped and turned as she called out my name. "Would you mind staying behind for a second?"

"Sure." I could see jealousy and curiosity fighting for dominance in the faces I passed in my way down to the platform where professor Norrell was standing and, if my heart hadn't been pounding in my throat, I would have snorted or rolled my eyes at their petty feelings.

_If only they knew the mess I'd landed myself in. _

The last student who lingered in the room was – how surprising – Tanya Denali, her eyes flittering through the room as if she was scouting out some place to hide so that she could listen in on our conversation.

"Shouldn't you be out there looking for a new sugar daddy?" I smirked, bumping her out of the way with my shoulder as I walked past her.

"Go fuck yourself, Swan," she hissed back at me.

I let out a sarcastic snort. "Jealousy so isn't a good look on you." And without wasting more attention on her, I joined Rose and the professor at the front of the classroom.

"What's going on?" I asked, after the professor had dismissed Tanya from the room with a rather pointed glare.

"The police are here," Rose answered before the professor could say something. "They want to speak to you."

"Finally," I snorted. "It's about time those idiots at the Seattle Police Department got their heads out of their backsides! What do they want to know?"

"Beats me." Rose shrugged. "But I think it may have something to do with your article."

Professor Norrell gave me a comforting smile as she ushered both of us out of the room and through the maze of corridors and offices until we found ourselves in the familiar surroundings of the newsroom.

"I need you to take me off the Foster murder case," I whispered at Rose as we walked. Had I been in doubt before this class started, the professor's word had decided the case as far as I was concerned. She seemed to be convinced that I was in too deep and too attached to my subject to remain objective and…well, who was I to doubt her?

Rose chuckled, her eyes sparkling as she looked at me. "Had fun last night?"

"I did," I admitted, "but that's beside the point."

"Is it?" Rose snickered, before turning more serious. "I'll hand it over to Sophia. It's about time she stared pulling her weight around here. Can you get your case files ready for the hand-over by Monday?"

I nodded. "I'll take notes this weekend when we go over to Billy's and add them to the file along with anything else I remember. You'll have the file on your desk first thing."

I knew I wasn't completely speaking the truth. My mom's possible involvement in the case would remain my little secret along with the pictures Edward had been talking about. There was no way I was going to let Sophia near that information. _Which was probably why my decision to hand this shit over had been a good one. _

"Thanks for not questioning my decision, Rose," I sighed, a huge weight falling off my shoulders now that the decision had been made.

Rose shrugged. "It's not like I didn't see it coming."

The professor had overheard our conversation with an approving smile, her eyes seeking mine as we neared the newsroom to silently assure me of the righteousness of my decision. She paused, halting me on the threshold before I could enter the room. "Would you like me to remain present while they question you? It's hard sometimes for a beginning journalist not to be bullied into giving information away that will compromise your own integrity."

I nodded, smiling as I remembered the words she'd spoken just minutes ago. "Grey area, right?"

She laughed along with me. "Exactly." As she guided me into the room, one hand rested briefly on my shoulder. I made my nerves slowly ebb away in the knowledge that, no matter what the two detectives hovering near the coffee maker wanted to walk to me about, at least I had the support of someone who'd been around this particular block a few times before.

"Miss Swan?" one of the detectives asked, mechanically flashing his registration as he walked towards us. "Could you spare us a minute of your time?"

"Of course," I nodded, as we made our way to the conference room and sat down around the table.

Detective Santiago, as he introduced himself, looked a little confused as professor Norrell joined us at the table. "Miss?"

"Professor Victoria Norrell," she introduced herself, "senior faculty member at the Department of Communication. Miss Swan has asked me to be present for this interview."

"I'm sure that won't be necessary," the other detective barked. _Definitely bad-cop. _

The professor merely shrugged it off. "I'd like to sit in on this little chat none the less, _if you don't mind._" The last part of her response was emphasized almost to the point of becoming a threat.

"May I ask what brings you here?" I asked, trying to break the very volatile silence that lingered after her last words. "I'm sure you didn't come all the way over here for our coffee."

Santiago chuckled as his colleague, obviously a little less amused, slammed a copy of the edition of _The Daily_ with my article in it onto the table, his long, boney finger tapping against the letters spelling out the headline. "This."

Santiago smiled a bit uncomfortable as he, once more, took the lead. "That's quite a discovery you did there, Miss Swan."

I rolled my eyes at his childish tone. "Thanks, I guess?" I may have been inexperienced but that didn't make me stupid!

"We were wondering how you came across all of this information," Santiago went on.

"As you can read in the article, Miss Swan got most of her information from public sources as well as an anonymous source from within the Volturi," Victoria answered before I could say anything.

Santiago glowered at her while his partner looked positively murderous. "Yes…well….we were wondering who your anonymous source might have been. You can imagine we have some questions for him or her as well, considering the information he or she bestowed upon you."

"You're under no obligation to reveal your source," Victoria whispered, much to the chagrin of the police officers.

I shrugged. "It's not like there's much to reveal. My source contacted me and asked me to meet him that night in a remote location. I never got to see his face, though, so the only thing I can tell you is that it was a man of average height with a rather non-descript voice."

"Would this location by any chance be Hamilton Viewpoint?" the other detective – I seemed to remember he had introduced himself as detective Afton – asked.

I frowned. "Yes. How do you know?"

A rather unpleasant smile graced his lips as he tossed a picture in my direction, Victoria leaning in to take a look herself when she heard my gasp of shock. Looking back at me was a young man, his boyish features marred by the ghostly pale look of death as his body lay contorted in an unnatural angle.

I balked, a wide array of emotions coursing through my body as my eyes remained glued to the disturbing image even when I tried to avert them. In the end, though, shock prevailed.

But – much to my own dismay – it wasn't the shock that someone would do that to another human being.

It was the shock at my own relief.

Relief that it wasn't _my_ corpse they'd found lying in a bed of African violets.

Relief that I'd just handed over the case to another reporter.

Relief to distance myself from the danger.

And in that moment I felt completely disgusted with myself.

"A jogger found the corpse early this morning but it looks like the man had been dead for some time; his watch which had been smashed by the force of impact as his body hit the ground seems to indicate it was somewhere around ten PM last night."

I swallowed hard. It was the exact same time and place Mr. Anonymous had requested to meet me.

"His credit cards identified him as Riley Biers. Does that name ring any bells?" Santiago asked, taking over from his partner again.

Afton let out another one of his deprecating smiles as I shook my head. "Maybe his tattoo does?" he asked, pushing another photograph across the table, this one containing a picture of the man's shoulder containing a now very familiar emblem.

"The Volturi Crest." I muttered.

"Yes," Afton nodded. "So now you see what all of your digging has amounted to….."

I shook my head, feeling the blood leaving my face as Victoria's hand folded itself around mine underneath the table. "I never knew….."

"Is there anything about this pictures that looks familiar?" he pressed, pushing the first photograph closer to me. "Take a good look."

I did what he asked, though both my brain and my stomach recoiled at looking at a murdered man. It started getting easier after a few minutes, though I wasn't quite sure whether I should have been happy or disgusted by the fact that apparently you could get used to looking at the dead.

"The coat might be the same as the one my source wore," I sighed, knowing that wasn't going to be much help. It was a generic looking trench coat. There were about a thousand guys in this city who wore a coat just like that one.

Then something caught my eye, a ghostly white…._thing_ hidden underneath the man's body.. I'd never seen it before yet I was sure it looked familiar.

I wish I knew what it was but I knew better than to ask the detectives. They were never going to give away details about a case, least of all to a reporter. I'd have more success trying to strike up a conversation with a brick wall.

"Did you see something else you recognize?" Santiago pressed, coming so close he all but crawled into my lap. Apparently he'd taken my silence for reluctance.

"No." I shook my head, my eyes narrowing as I once again tried to place the strange shape underneath the corpse. I just couldn't bring it home. "I'm sorry. I can't help you."

"You see," Victoria intervened with a smug smile. "Just because the body was found at the place where Miss Swan met with her informant doesn't have to mean that this…." She waved her hand over the photograph. "….was the guy she met. It may have all been nothing but an unfortunate coincidence."

The detectives didn't seem at all convinced by the professor's words, but given the fact that I couldn't help them out, they had no choice but to console themselves with being handed copies of my research material and the pictures Alec had send me. When they were getting ready to leave I couldn't resist getting one final jab in, though.

"I wonder…." I thought out loud.

Santiago turned around, his face oddly hopeful. "What, Miss Swan?"

"It seems to me like the Volturi angle is a relatively new addition to your investigations," I went on, picking my words carefully so as not to get me into more trouble than I was in already.

"It wouldn't have had to be if you would have come forward and shared your information with us sooner," detective Afton barked.

"It's funny you should say that." I was no longer able to keep my glee out of my voice. "Because I distinctly remember a friend of mine telling me he'd informed one of your colleagues of the similarities in this case and the Bree Tanner murder case over a week ago."

If there ever was a way of getting rid of the police, this must have been it. As they scrambled to explain that apparently Billy's information must have gotten lost somewhere on its way to them, they were already heading out the door in a tempo that would put Woody Woodpecker to shame.

"I guess they'll think twice about bothering you again," Rose snorted as we watched them leave.

"What was all that about?" the professor wanted to know.

I shrugged. "Don't you think it's a little odd that _I'm_ making all of these discoveries while they seem to know absolutely nothing?"

"Are you saying…" she started.

"I'm not saying anything," I interrupted her, a look at the clock telling me I had to run if I wanted to make it home on time to pack my stuff and get ready before Edward and company would drop by to pick me up. "I've got to go."

"Have a nice trip, Bella," Rose sang, winking at me. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do…."

I stuck my tongue out at her, while professor Norrell looked on in utter confusion. "Do I even want to know what all of this is about?"

"Now that Bella's handed over the case she's free to worm her way into Edward Cullen's pants," Rose explained, like it was the most normal thing in the world to cue your professor in on your love life.

"Rose!" I growled, feeling my cheeks staring to flare up. "I'm not going to worm my way into anything! Least of all with my dad around, watching my every move with one hand on his gun."

Rose snorted. "Talk about using protection!"

I rolled my eyes, grabbing a file containing most of my case notes from my desk. "I'll tell Charlie you said that."

Fortunately for me Rose decided to give it a rest, allowing me to focus on getting all the stuff I needed as she went to work herself while more staff members started to trickle into the newsroom now that most of the morning classes were finished.

"You're doing the right thing, Bella," professor Norrelll assured me as I got my stuff together to leave. "It may be the hardest decision you've had to make in your career, but it will make your life a whole lot easier in the long run."

Her words echoed through my head long after I'd left the building. I knew she was right. In handing over the case I'd done the only right thing a journalist in my position could do. It would be hard to stand by the sideline and watch someone else take over as I went back to reporting about the shortage in decent student housing and I knew that, as long as Edward and I remained on speaking terms, I could never truly distance myself from the case – and the danger that came with it. But at least I knew that I could look at things without having to constantly second-guess my own motives or live in fears of crossing the line.

I was doing the right thing.

Even if it felt wrong.

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**_The next chapter will get us to Forks. What do you think is going to happen there?_**

_**Loved it? Hated it? Please let me know. Reviewers get teased…..**_


	24. Chapter 24

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. I am in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise, I just use their creations to have my wicked way with them. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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_**This story wouldn't be what it is without my wonderful beta, **_**The Real Teacher**_**, holding my hand and correcting my many errors. Thank you so much!**_

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**- 23 -**

"Tell her to hurry up," Jasper grumped from the front seat as he tried to worm his Escalade into a parking space that any fool could see was much too small. "I don't want to get stuck in traffic."

"And whose fault would that be?" I scowled as Alice tried to shrink her already tiny frame into an even more inconspicuous size. "I wasn't the one who insisted on driving all the way back home because I forgot some stupid scarf."

"Hey!" Alice glowered, looking rather scary even for someone as pint-sized as she was. "Scarves are never stupid. A good scarf completes a look like nothing else can, while a wrong pick can make you look as ugly as sin."

I snorted looking at Jasper who – unlike me – was making more of an effort to hide his humor. "Who died and made you the Messiah of fashion accessories?"

Alice huffed, crossing her arms in front of her chest. "Anna bloody Wintour, okay? Now go get your girl."

I rolled my eyes, giving her a half assed salute as I opened the car door. "Yes ma'am."

I held my breath as I walked into the building, once more hoping that I wasn't going to run into Tanya Denali or that scary roommate of Bella's on my way up. The scary roommate I wouldn't mind that much. Sure she was scary, but apart from really making me want to dig up my old high school football outfit – or at least the parts that protected the goods, I felt like I could handle her. All she wanted was to protect her friends from ending up hurt – which, considering my track record wasn't such a crazy thing.

Tanya on the other hand….

I knew I should be counting my blessings that the girl got fired from her spot at _The Daily_ before she could destroy my family and the reputation of the firm Garrett and my uncle had spent years building, but there was something – call it 'gut instinct' or something else – telling me not to rest and get comfortable as long as the case was still going. After all, Tanya was still out there, pissed off because she'd lost her job and had been embarrassed in front of a girl I was pretty sure fell into the arch-nemesis category as far as she was concerned. A guy would be a complete fool to underestimate a woman scorned.

And while I may not have acted like the brightest star that ever graced the intellectual firmament, I wasn't a complete fool.

Contrary to popular opinion.

I wasn't about to sabotage my dad's case now that we were finally moving forward.

At least…it seemed like we were.

I didn't know what I'd expected last night, when I offered to step back from his defense team in exchange for his full disclosure on what the hell was going on, but not even in my wildest dreams had I ever expected him to take the offer.

And neither had mom.

To say mom had been miffed by the turn of events the night had taken would be the understatement of the year. She'd been on edge even before my dad was threatening to fire me from his team because of dad's complete refusal to say or do anything that could strengthen his defense. The fact that he wanted to ruin my life right alongside his had driven her almost insane with fury.

When I offered to go along with what he was saying…..well, the look on her face would have send Lord Voldemort scurrying behind his momma's skirts.

But it had all been to no avail.

She'd begged, pleaded, threatened and cried but at the end of the day even she had to yield to the impressively annoying powers of Carlisle 'Stonewall' Cullen. Which was why, come Monday morning nine AM I would be reassigned to Uncle Eli's team while my dad would spill his guts to Garrett and Jasper.

The ding of the elevator pulled me back into the here and now, my excitement at seeing Bella again overriding any frustration, relief or wariness I might have felt as I crossed the landing in a few long strides and rapped my knuckles against the solid wood of the door; the impatience in my gesture reverberating through the apartment behind it.

It was the only sound that could be heard.

I knocked again when, after a few moments, I still couldn't hear anything that indicated life on the other side of the door.

Again nothing.

My heart rate started to accelerate with worry as I banged my fist against the wood as I called out her name. "Bella!"

It was only when I paused my banging to frantically fumble for my phone that I heard a small sound coming from inside. "Bella?"

Everything I might have wanted to say died on my lips the moment she opened the door, her face pale as a sheet and her whole body trembling with…_something_.

"Bella?" I breathed, my body already halfway underway to close the gap and pull her into a protective embrace before I thought better of it. "What's wrong, angel?"

"I-I…d-don't…" she stammered, her front teeth gnashing her lips so hard I was afraid she was going to hurt herself. "They'…they killed…."

When she realized she wasn't going to be making any sense trying to communicate with words she reached out and grasped my hand, her skin cold and shivering with what I now realized was fear against mine as she pulled me through the living room and into a smaller, adjoining room I suspected was hers.

Before my mind could register how Bella the room was, with its plain white walls, simple furniture and photographs lining every available surface, telling the story of her life, my mind was drawn to the screaming headlines of the newspaper lying on her bed.

_Up and coming politician found murdered at Hamilton Park. _

My eyes narrowed as my brain scrambled to process the fact that a man had been found murdered at the same spot Bella had met with her 'Mr. Anonymous'.

_This was too much of a coincidence. _

"What…." It was clear that the loss of speech was contagious as I tried to capture my confusion in words. "How…"

"Two detectives came by this morning..." Bella's voice trembled as she spoke. "…I thought they were dropping by to yell at me for making them look stupid or something…" The laugh she emitted sounded strange…forced. "I never thought…But then they showed me some pictures and I….."

She shook her head, her body shaking with barely contained sobs. "I'd never seen a dead guy before. Not a real one, at least….."

"It's okay," I intervened, trying to soothe her but doing such a lousy job at it that she recoiled when I reached out to touch her.

"No!" she cried. "Can't you see? It's not okay! I feel like…That guy would still have been alive if it wasn't for me snooping around and sticking my big nose into stuff I should stay far away from….."

She backed into her bed, almost falling down on top of it, when I took a step closer, desperate to do something – _fucking anything_ – to help her out. She looked back up to me, her devastation nearly breaking my heart. "I killed him," she whispered, her lashes wet with tears. "I killed him and all I can think about is whether or not I'm going to be next."

"Bella," I sighed, "you didn't kill that guy and you know it, love. _He_ contacted you. _He_ told you to meet him there. And _they_ killed him. You have nothing to reproach yourself with. You only did what you thought to be the best thing at the time…"

I took another cautious step towards her, relishing when this time she remained where she was, looking up at me with a hopeful expression that put way too much fucking weight upon my shoulders to fix this shit. "I can't look into the future, so there's no telling you this is all going to work out fine or shit…"

I held up my hand to stop her from interrupting me as I continued. "But what I _can_ promise you is that I will be by your side to help you though every fucking minute of it, as long as you'll want me there."

"I want you there," she replied in a heartbeat, her voice so low I almost didn't hear it. "It's just….."

She whimpered, her arms protectively wrapped around her chest as she looked at me with big, sad chocolate eyes. "Edward? What am I going to do?"

My overprotective tendencies, which had been screaming to be let out ever since I saw her standing on that threshold, suddenly became impossible to deny and, before I could even think about what I was doing, I had my arms around her, my forehead leaning against hers as my whole body relished in the way she molded her small frame to mine. "What do you need angel? Because I'll do whatever it takes to keep you safe."

She sighed, some of the tension leaving her body as she leaned into me a little bit more. "I just….Take me away from here. Please? ….I just want to forget and feel…safe."

I sighed, kissing her hair. "Of course honey. Do you still want to go out to Forks to meet with Billy? We could always go some other time if you don't feel…"

"No," she interrupted me, her resolve a clear feature in her face as she leaned back to look at me. "I still want to go…if you don't mind?"

She continued only when I'd made it perfectly clear that I didn't. "A change of scenery would do me good and….well…."

She shrugged, a small smile breaking through as she bravely held my gaze. "….I don't think you can get much safer than staying under a police chief's roof."

I chuckled, still a bit in awe of her bravery. "True."

"So let's just put this…this _thing_…." She avoided looking at the newspaper spread out on top of her bed sheets as she indicated her hand in roughly the right direction. "….in the garbage and head out of here?"

"Good idea," I nodded, crumpling the newspaper up into a ball and chucking it into the bin underneath Bella's desk while Bella ducked away into her closet. No words needed to be spoken for us to understand each other. I knew that, though she may have been able to put up a calm, brave front on the outside, inwardly it was going to take a hell of a lot longer before she would move past this and she would only succeed in doing so if she tackled this situation by using her own, time honored motto: _Just ignore it, it will go away. _

And just like with Mike Newton in high school, I would do everything I could to _make_ her problems go away.

"Don't you think it would be wiser to take a bigger bag?" I snorted, watching as she stuffed the last few things she needed into a duffel bag and vainly tried to get the zipper to close.

"Maybe," she shrugged, her brows furrowing as she put her back into her task, finally managed to close the fucker up. "But what would be the fun in that?"

"Beats me," I shrugged, taking the bag off her hands as she flew around the room, checking if the windows were closed, the radiator was turned down and everything else was in order, before she grabbed her coat off the bed and took my outstretched hand, the two of us walking out of the apartment with a familiarity as if we'd done nothing else in our entire lives.

It. Felt. Great.

"Don't you have to open your mail before we go?" I asked, pointing at a small Fed-Ex package sitting on her desk as Bella shrugged into her coat and killed the light.

Bella shrugged. "Nah, it's probably just some crap my mom sent me. I'll take a look at it when we get back on Sunday."

"Okay," I nodded, following her out of the room.

Awkwardness settled back over us the minute we exited the apartment. It was like the moment she locked her front door, the walls around her heart were coming back up as well.

Why did she always have to do this?

It wasn't like this was the first time I'd been stonewalled by a Swan. This same thing had happened over and over again when we were kids. Bella was a tough girl and it was extremely rare for her to show her true colors, but every once in a while the shell that protected her soul cracked because of some experience that really got to her and she'd let me in for a moment only to lock up and act like nothing happened the minute danger was averted and she'd calmed down again.

It made me want to tear out my hair at the root.

"Are you really going to do this now?" I sighed with annoyance as a suddenly mute Bella stood next to me in the elevator, suddenly obsessed with a lock of her hair.

She frowned, shaking her head so that her brown locks now separated her face from mine. "Do what?"

I barely managed to suppress a growl, my hand pinching the bridge of my nose to stop my sudden headache from turning into a full blown migraine. "Just forget it, Bella."

I could hear the rustling of her clothes as she moved but with my hand still in front of my face I couldn't see what she was doing. "I'm sorry," she finally said, her sweet breath fanning over my face as she let out a deep sigh.

I shrugged. "Whatever."

"No Edward," she insisted, her small hands folding round mine and pulling them away from my face, forcing me to look at her. "I really am sorry. The whole business with the Volturi and my family being caught up in it and stuff just got to me and I….I freaked out."

She shrugged, but this time it wasn't in defense but because she was desperate for me to understand what she couldn't quite put into words. "I don't do well on being vulnerable and crap. It makes me put up my defenses."

"I know." I chuckled even in spite of my feelings. "But Bella….."

She looked up at me with a sad smile. "Yeah?"

"You say you don't trust me and – really – I get that, given all the crap that we went through and all." I paused, trying to find the words to communicate my frustration. "But how do you ever expect me to prove myself to you the minute something happens that could make me earn my keep as your friend?

"I know." She let out another deep breath. "And I'll try to open up to you a little bit more because I really do want you as a friend but it's just…hard. You know my parents so you know all that 'deep feely shit' was never a part in my upbringing."

I snorted. "You know? I never would have guessed!"

"Looking back on it I think you and your mom were the only two people I could talk to back in the days. I never really got along with any of the girls from Forks and at home…. My mom would just freak out whenever I told her about something that bugged me and my dad…." She chuckled, shrugging her shoulders. "I think it's safe to say he'd rather blow off his own testicles with his gun than talk about emotions and 'girly problems'."

Even I had to acknowledge the truth in that. Bella just smiled, her eyes shining with the memories of our shared childhood. "It wasn't until I started living with Angela and Rose that I was forced to share all my crap with them."

"I bet they had to drag every single damn word out of you," I chuckled.

"You'd have to ask them," she shrugged as we walked out of the building and into the fresh post-rain air of Friday afternoon Seattle. "But….."

I turned towards her, ignoring Jasper's scowl and Alice's impatience to meet the person she had heard so much about over the last couple of weeks. "What?"

"I've been meaning to talk to you for some time now about…well, something that you don't just blurt out over the phone and…"

I barely suppressed a groan as Alice chose that exact time to belt out Bella's name, Jasper only adding insult to injury by honking the horn. "Can it wait until we reach Forks?" I asked.

Bella bit her lip but I wasn't sure whether it was because she was disappointed or nervous. "I guess," she shrugged.

"Hey," I closed my hand around her shoulder, making her stop and turn towards me. "If it's really important I'll just tell Jasper to screw himself and wait a few minutes longer….."

"No it's fine," She interrupted me, trying to play it off as nothing major as her brows furrowed, her gaze settling over my shoulder and coming to rest on Alice who was literally bouncing in place next to the car, the whole scene looking extra ridiculous due to the fact that the big, black car basically made her look like a toddler. "Who is that? Hermione Grainger's neurotic older sister?"

I chuckled. "Close, but no. She's Jasper's wife, Alice Whitlock."

It was like Alice had heard her name being mentioned because she started skipping over to us, her eyes shining with enthusiasm as she wrapped a completely baffled Bella into a tight hug. "You must be Bella."

Bella's eyes desperately sought mine as she tried to fight off the ambush-by-pixie, her hands flailing in the air as she managed to squeak out a single word. "Help?"

"Oh! Am I smothering you?" Alice gasped, bouncing back again, her eyes scanning Bella for proof of damage as her hands flew over her clothes to right any pieces of fabric that might have gotten out of shape in their hug. "Jasper always tells me to be careful about that stuff but I guess I'm pretty incorrigible, huh?"

"Yeah?" Bella's brows shot into her hairline as she looked at Alice as if she couldn't believe whether the woman was for real or if this was all just some big damn hoax.

"It's just that I'm so psyched to finally meet you after everything Jasper and Edward have been telling me about you." She blushed, her hands fidgeting with the sleeve of her coat. "But I guess I should have counted to ten before I went into tackle-hug mode."

Bella shrugged, the expression on her face showing how she was more amused than annoyed by the over-eager woman in front of her. "Don't sweat it. There are worse things in the world than being hugged by a total stranger."

Her comment made Alice's face break out into a smile that could have illuminated the planet. "I knew I was going to like you!"

I intervened only when Bella shot me another pleading look, knowing that the full force of Alice's enthusiasm was a little bit much for Bella to handle right now. "Let's just head out to the car before Jasper breaks out into another one of his hissy-fits about rush hour traffic."

"Oh! Right!" Alice giggled before marching back off in the direction of her husband.

"She takes some getting used to," I explained to Bella once Alice was out of earshot, "but I can guarantee she's pretty harmless."

Jasper was already pacing in front of the car when he spotted us. "Finally," he grumbled, immediately reaching for Bella's bag and chucking it into the boot while Bella ogled the car with a thinly veiled amusement.

"What?" Jasper scowled as he caught Bella's stares, the car obviously being a sore subject or something.

"I know you're a defense attorney and I know that brings you into contact with some pretty shady characters and all that, but do you really think driving around in a tank is quite necessary?"

I snorted at Jasper's baffled look. Unlike me he lacked the experience with Bella's habit of cracking jokes – at other people's expense if needs be – whenever she was nervous or uncomfortable.

"You might want to go pick your jaw up from the floor, sweetie. I think you're well past the five second rule by now," Alice joked as she waltzed up beside her husband before turning her attention to Bella. "It's my car, actually. My husband drives some boring old sedan nobody would take a second look at. And before you get any ideas: jokes about compensating or questions on whether or not I can actually reach the gas pedal aren't appreciated."

Bella pouted. "I guess that kind of puts a damper on the whole 'celebrating the fact that I finally found someone smaller than me'."

Alice merely shrugged, hoisting herself into the passenger seat of the Escalade. "I guess it does. You're more than welcome to make fun of Jasper, though."

"Hey!" Jasper scowled. "I'm standing right here!"

Instead of taking pity on him, Alice rolled her eyes. "I thought you wanted to drive, cowboy. In fact: I recall that you were so hell bent on driving that you swindled your lady wife out of the pleasure of operating her own damn means of transportation in rather an underhand way."

She let out a small snort when Jasper stood fixed to his spot like a six year old being told off by his mommy. "So quit yer moaning and start getting us out of town before we get stuck in traffic!" she added for extra effect, though the panicked look on Jasper's face told me there had been no need for it.

Bella leaned towards me, never taking her eyes off the strange scene playing out in front of me. "Are they always like that?"

I chuckled. "They're actually worse when they're operating on alcohol. I still believe they're pretty harmless, though. Don't mention clothes or the Civil War and I think you'll be safe."

"Thanks," she smiled, my heart rate speeding up as she briefly touched my arm. "I guess I'll just have to take my chances and get into the damned tank before they head off without us."

"I'm afraid we have no other option," I chuckled, lending her my hand to help her up into the car while trying not to stare at her ass to blatantly to get caught as she crawled into the back seat.

The first part of the drive was mostly quiet. Jasper and Alice haggled over which route would get us to the ferry the fastest while Bella peered out of the window, deep in thought. It gave me some time to study her and find out if she was really as fine as she claimed to be.

She wasn't.

I could see it in the tense set of her shoulders and the corner of her mouth. Over the years she might have become a better actress than she used to be, she still had her tells.

She was thinking.

And I was driving myself to the brink of insanity trying to decipher which avenue of thought she'd wandered into.

I noticed how her lips started to pull into a reluctant smile right around the time Jasper deftly maneuvered the car through the terminal and into the parking area where we had to wait to get on. "Stop staring at me," she finally muttered, trying really hard to sound annoyed. "You're making me nervous."

"It's the only chance I have of finding out what's going on inside that head of yours," I shrugged, barely avoiding the insertion of the word 'beautiful' into the conversation. _She has a boyfriend, you idiot! Don't go making this shit harder for her than it already is by coming on to her!_

"All you ever have to do is ask," Bella muttered, though she angled her body towards the window and away from me.

And just like that, we fell into silence again, a silence that remained intact for at least ten excruciating minutes while we waited to embark.

Surprisingly enough it was Bella who broke the silence this time.

"Did you talk to your dad bout those pictures?" she asked, being careful to keep her voice low to give us some privacy.

I shook my head. "It's not really something you can just blurt out over the breakfast table."

She rolled her eyes at me in annoyance. "I know that, but I thought….."

I sighed, angling my body in her direction. "I kind of go out of my way to avoid my dad these days and I have the feeling he's doing the same thing with me. The only times when we do happen to be in each other's presence, it's mostly because my mom forced the two of us together and I hope you'll understand how I don't want to mention it in front of her."

"I see." She nodded in understanding. "So when was the last time you and your dad spoke?"

I chuckled. "Last night, actually."

She arched her brow. "I take it that didn't go so well for the two of you?"

I could overhear a muffled snort coming from the front of the car as Jasper no doubt remembered what I'd told him earlier this morning. "You could say that again," I snickered. "We had another huge fight and …well….I quit."

She inched towards me with her brow arched in confusion, as if proximity would somehow make her understand what I was saying. "Huh?"

"I'm off my dad's case."

"What?" she gasped, "but I thought…."

"Yeah," I nodded, "but it was the only way I could get him to open his damn mouth and start cooperating with his defense team."

I was afraid Bella's eyes were going to budge out of her head with the way she was looking at me. "What did he say?"

I arched my brow, making her break out in one of those adorable blushes of hers. "Come on, Bella. Do you really think I'd be stupid enough to share with the press?"

She rolled her eyes, her smile telling me she knew I was joking.

"Anyway," I added. "He hasn't said anything yet. He'll only talk to Garrett and that fucker's off for a short break with his wife to celebrate the fact that his marriage has lasted a decennium."

"Which is a miracle in itself, if you ask me," Alice chimed in, leaning over the back of her seat. "So is there anyone in this car, apart from Jasper, who actually has any business being here?"

"Err…me?" Bella chuckled.

Alice snorted, her cheeks staining with embarrassment. "Right. I forgot it's your home town we're going to. Silly me!"

It was time to board our ferry then, the next few moments filled with parking the car and finding our way on deck as the huge vessel began to maneuver its way out of the harbor and into the rough bluish green waters of the Sound.

Bella's question kept bugging me, though, and as soon as Alice had dragged Jasper off to look at the view from the other side of the boat I broke the silence. "Why did you ask about the pictures? Did you find something?"

"Not really," she shrugged. "It's just….some of the stuff you told me last night got me thinking…."

"And…" I urged her, when she fell back into silence.

"What if those photographs weren't taken for fun?" she asked. "What if someone took them at some point in order to blackmail or pressure our parents?"

I frowned, her explanation might make some sense but it still didn't explain what happened. "That may be, but it doesn't do away with the fact that our parents had an affair."

"But that's just the thing!" Bella went on, her eyes sparkling as she spoke. "All we overheard was your dad and my mom fighting about something. We just put two and two together and came up with the conclusion that it must have been an affair, but what if it wasn't? What if they were fighting about the pictures?"

I closed my eyes, trying to remember what we'd overheard that day. "I don't know, Bella."

"Did you see any pictures of Carlisle actually having sex – in whatever kind of form – with my mother?" she asked.

I rubbed my forehead as the black and white images shot through my mind's eye like a silent movie. "I don't think so."

"Then don't you see? We made ourselves believe that we knew what happened but it could just as well have been something else," she pressed, her arms gesticulating wildly.

"Okay," I spoke hesitantly. "Say you're right about all of this….who the hell do you think sent them those pictures?"

She arched her brow. "Do you really need to ask?"

I guess I didn't.

"Edward?" I looked back to her to find her biting her lip, her whole figure twitching with nervous energy. "While we're alone…..we might as well have that talk."

But apparently it wasn't to be. As I started to get as nervous as Bella was, wondering what it could be that she wanted to talk to me about in private, Alice came bounding up to us. "Edward! Bella! There you are!" she squealed. "Come on! You have to look at the view from the other side of the boat. It's magical!"

Bella growled in frustration and I thought I caught her muttering something about how the whole universe was conspiring against her – one obnoxious, small person in particular – but I couldn't be sure, since I was also fighting Alice as she tried to pull me over to her 'magical' viewpoint like I was a toddler.

For someone so tiny she was surprisingly strong.

"I can walk there, Alice!" I growled, trying to wriggle myself free from Alice's grip. "I'm not a damned kid!"

"Then stop acting like one and cooperate for a change," she giggled as we both reached the other side of the ferryboat where – I had to admit it – the view was amazing.

"Are you always this annoying when you go on a road trip?" I asked, as I took my place between Alice and Bella who, free of annoying vertically-challenged friends, had reached the railing before we did.

"This is only small fry compared to when we travel by airplane," Jasper snickered. "There was this one time when a flight attendant actually went as far as to ask me to sedate her because she was scaring the other passengers."

"I can't help getting excited," Alice pouted, reaching up to tiptoe to smack her husband upside the head as both Bella and I struggled to keep from laughing out loud. "It's not that often that you let me out of the house!"

"Don't paint me out to be some kind of misogynist, woman!" Jasper cried, though it was clear from the amusement in the eyes of both that this was all fun and games for them. "It's not like I've tied you to the kitchen sink or anything!"

"Oh, hush!" Alice snorted, rolling her eyes at him. "You know I didn't mean it like that! All I was saying that, since we have kids, it's very rare for the two of us to spend a weekend out alone."

Jasper nodded as his wife turned to Bella. "I love my kids with all my heart and I'd never want to be without them, but sometimes….."

"You just need a breather?" Bella offered.

That conversation seemed to set the tone for the remainder of the trip. We laughed, we joked and commented on the scenery and the surprisingly dry weather as we entered the Pacific Peninsula but though, like Alice, I liked the breather this trip gave me from the heavy stuff going on in my life, I couldn't help but wonder what Bella had wanted to talk to me about before we got interrupted.

I guess I'd find out soon enough, though, since we were only a couple of miles away from Forks.

"It's so beautiful out here," Alice sighed as the trees and mountains started to give way to the roughness of the coastline, the color scheme changing from green and brown to grey and blue. "It makes me wonder why we pay tons of money to go to some far away spot when we have all this on our doorstep."

Bella chuckled. "Believe me, it gets old after a while."

I managed to fill Jasper in on what happened to Bella and the conclusion we'd come to about what went on in my dad's study ten years ago as we stopped for gas and, though he promised me to give her some time to recover before he brought it up, I could see he was chomping at the bits to question her about it.

The sun was already setting by the time we drove into Forks but even in the fading light I could still see that the place hadn't changed a bit. It still had the same shops; from the small yet practical supermarket to the single diner that served the town and the people puttering about their daily lives seemed shockingly familiar too. The only thing that had changed was the fact that those familiar faces had developed lines, grown beer bellies or – involuntarily – added grey lines to their hair.

"Turn left here," Bella instructed Jasper as we neared the far edge of town. "It's the white house at the end of the road."

We'd decided somewhere along the way to drop Bella off first, which would allow the two of us some time to have that talk, and then move along to my old house to freshen up before we would head back over to Bella's for dinner.

Bella's parental home, contrary to everything else, had gone through a complete overhaul. The house was still small, white and cozy looking but the garden had been given a new appeal by the addition of brightly colored plants and Native American art and the building had been expanded with a huge glass house tacked onto the side of it oozing with light and color.

"It's my stepmother's art studio," Bella explained as she followed my gaze. "Most of the stuff you see here in the garden is hers as well."

As Alice started making plans to buy one – or all – of the beautifully carved statues, I helped Bella retrieve her bag from the trunk of the car, constantly conscious of the eyes that were watching me through a gap in the curtains. I'd be willing to wager my entire trust fund they belonged to Chief Swan.

"So…."I drawled, "You wanted to talk?"

Bella nodded, once again driving me crazy by chewing on her bottom lip. "I wanted to talk to you about….."

"Bella." I barely resisted the urge to smash something as the front door opened and Charlie Swan emerged, flanked by two huge, pissed off looking guys. All three of them glared at me with the venom of a pack of wolves getting ready to devour their hapless prey – which would be me.

One of the guys had to be Bella's step-brother – Seth I thought he was called. He seemed quite a lot younger than the rest, though he had the body of a fully grown linebacker.

That meant that the other one had to be…

"Babe!" the unnamed guy in question stepped out of the defense line the three of them had drawn up and closed the distance in a few long strides, his arm marking his territory as he draped it around Bella's shoulders.

A growl rose up from deep in my chest as I looked at the vile dog that had his paws all over my Bella.

_Jacob fucking Black. _

I'd hated the name, but coming face to face with the guy I hated him even more.

He was all muscles and dark hair and possessiveness as he leered at me with the smug grin of a man who knew he had one up on the competition.

"Would you give us a minute?" Bella scowled as she tried to duck out from underneath her boyfriend's arms. "I was just in the middle of something…."

The fact that Bella didn't exactly seemed overjoyed to see her boyfriend and – in fact – did her very best to get as far away from him as she could wasn't lost on me and, judging from the red hot glares on the faces of Charlie, Seth and the dog, it wasn't on them either.

_Interesting…_

_Did that mean that Bella….._

"The boy can't have anything to say to you that he can't say in front of us," Charlie grunted, his eyes challenging me to object.

"And besides…." The step-brother chimed, "mom needs your help in the kitchen."

Bella sighed, rolling her eyes at her step-brother as she tried to put some distance between her and the dog. "Fine. Tell her I'll be right there."

Seth shot me a victorious grin before turning on his heels and sauntering back into the house.

"What time is dinner?" I asked, as I handed Bella her bag, the dog immediately snatching it out of her hands before marching off with it at Charlie's signal_. Just like a good little puppy….._

"We usually eat at seven thirty," Bella spoke, her eyes shifting from the porch – now occupied only by Charlie Swan in all his passive aggressiveness – back to me, "but if you want to, I could tell them to push it back until eight?"

"Seven thirty is fine," I smiled, unable to resist the urge to briefly brush my hand against hers before I withdrew and walked back the car, the my back glowing with the hot daggers Charlie was glaring at it as I got in.

"You know? For all Jazz's grumblings about you being an asshole and all that, you sure do have a soft spot for that girl," Alice giggled as she watched me as my eyes followed Bella into the house.

I shrugged. "She's the first woman I ever kissed."

"And I'd be willing to bet she'll be the last one as well," Alice spoke softly, her hand patting me on the arm. "Though I get the feeling her family isn't going to let that happen without a fight."

I snorted. "You may be right about that, Alice."

We made our way to my former home without any more stops and with the unspoken agreement not to discuss the epic glare-down that had just taken place on the Swans' front lawn. After Alice was done gushing about the prettiness of the place and Jasper had asked all kinds of questions about the architecture of it which I was wholly unable to answer, I showed them to their rooms on the first floor.

My mom has seen to it that the place was immaculate. We occasionally rented it out as a holiday let which meant that it had never fallen into a state of disrepair or turned into some dusty sort of pigsty or anything, but even in spite of that she'd ordered a cleaning crew to clean, air and furnish the place so that she was sure both me and my guests would feel at home.

And the weirdest thing of all was that she'd succeeded in doing just that.

It was strange how familiar it all felt. I hadn't been back to this place since the summer we left Forks and, though the air was a little stale and the house looked a little less welcoming without all the books and art that used to be scattered around every room, it was much less awkward being back here than I expected it to be.

On the contrary…it almost felt _natural_.

After a quick dash around my old room, changing my shirt and splashing some water into my face I went down again to find Jasper hanging around my dad's old study, looking rather pensively at the desk in the middle of it. "See something you like?"

He chuckled, running his fingers over the smooth expanse of polished wood. "They don't make them like these anymore."

"I think it's a family heirloom," I nodded. "But if you want to talk antiques you'll have to give my mom a call. I'm pretty clueless when it comes to furniture."

"I was just trying to piece everything together," Jasper stated, his hand trailing along the edge of the desk as his eyes traveled to the window. "You were underneath the window when you overheard Carlisle talking to Renee Swan?"

I nodded. "They were standing right about where you are right now."

"Hmm," Jasper mused. "And the pictures? Did you see any trace of them during their conversation?"

I shook my head. "But that doesn't have to say anything. His desk was always littered with folders and documents. They could have easily been stuck amongst them."

Jasper nodded moving to sit behind the desk. "And you found the pictures…."

"Bottom drawer on the right hand."

He tried the drawer but, as I expected, it was closed. "Was the drawer locked when you opened it?"

I nodded. "But everyone in the house knew he kept the key in that bronze box sitting on top of the desk." I pointed him in the right direction and watched as Jasper took out the key and unlocked the desk drawer.

"Empty," he chuckled, before turning serious again. "Just one more question: where's the safe?"

I pointed to the door behind me. "It leads to a small archive where the safe is located."

"I think Bella was right," Jasper stated after a few minutes of deep thought. "I think your father panicked when you stormed in and put those pictures in his desk drawer just to get them out of the way for the moment."

I sighed, looking at the classic mahogany desk with a renewed interest. "Say you're right about this. Say the Volturi sent those pictures to my father or Renee as a warning…..Why would they have done that? As far as I can see it would only risk exposure."

"They must have known that neither Renee nor Carlisle would ever want the contents of those pictures out in the open," Jasper thought along with me. "That, or they were desperate."

Alice barreled into the room before anything else could be said. "Are you guys ready? Because I think we have to go."

I groaned, looking at the clock.

She was right.

"I guess we do," I muttered, wishing the earth would swallow me now before Chief Swan and his standard issue police gun could do the trick.

Alice just giggled, linking her arm with mine. "Come on, Edward. I'll be your wing woman for the night, making sure no evil fathers can get between you and your beloved."

"Behave," I warned her as we walked out to the car. "As you just saw, she already has a boyfriend and I don't want to put her under more pressure than she's already in."

Alice's face looked like she'd swallowed something particularly nasty but she held her tongue as we made our way back to the Swans' home.

Charlie opened the door, his face darkening into a deep scowl the minute he found me standing on his doorstep. "Cullen."

I swallowed hard. Never had my name sounded quite so….sordid as it had coming out of his mouth. "Good evening Chief Swan. I believe you've been expecting us?"

Chief Swan looked as if he was torn between slamming the door shut in our faces or shooting me first and then slamming the door shut in our faces.

Either way, he wasn't exactly rolling out the welcome wagon.

That was, until Alice jumped to the rescue. "Chief Swan?" she squealed, acting like a cheerleader presenting the new star quarterback to the audience. "I've heard so much about you! You have a lovely home here, Charlie – by the way, can I call you Charlie? Chief Swan sounds so….formal."

And just like that the chief went from angry to apprehensive as he studied the chipper little female in front of him with a bemused look on his face while she continued to talk a mile a minute. "Uuuh," he muttered, scratching his head.

"And did I mention I love your mustache? " Alice went on as I tried to decide whether to give her diamonds or pearls to thank her for her quick intervention. "It's so Burt Reynolds! In a good way, of course. There aren't many men who can rock a mustache like that but you manage to pull it off!"

In just five minutes she managed to neutralize the chief long enough (or at least shock him into a state of stupor) for us to meet his wife (who was even stranger than Renee used to be), his stepson (who, as I'd already suspected, liked me about as much as his stepdad did) and his stepdaughter (who made me want to double-check the locks on my bedroom door) and be reassured by Bella on the fact that all her father's guns were under lock and key and that said key was currently resting somewhere inside Sue Swan's unmentionables.

Which was more information that I needed to know.

There was no sign of the mutt yet, but I wasn't about to rest assured. Dinner wasn't served and he might still turn up to make my life miserable.

He didn't, though, which kind of surprised me. Though I had a feeling Bella's step-mother may have had a hand in it since she seemed to like me well enough to at least strike up a conversation.

"So Edward?" Sue started as we all tucked into a delicious spread of pot roast, potatoes baked with rosemary and thyme and various green vegetables. "What is it you do for a living?"

I swallowed my bite of food as Bella's hand touched my leg in reassurance under the table. "I'm an attorney, like Jasper."

"That must be very exciting!" Sue remarked. "I bet you get to meet a lot of interesting people."

Chief Swan let out a loud snort before I could answer Sue's question. "He deals with criminals, honey."

Sue bristled, pulling up her nose as she went against her husband. "Criminals can be interesting."

I was starting to get a bit uncomfortable and not just because of the turn the conversation had taken but also because of the way Bella's hand was squeezing my leg. _If she wouldn't relax she was going to cut off circulation. _

"Criminals are the scum of the nation," Chief Swan fumed, "and it's because of people like this one here…."

He pulled up his nose as if he'd just smelled a fresh pile of shit lying at his feet as he glared at Jasper and me, "….. that they are allowed to roam free across out streets. If you'd ask me he and that chum of his should be locked up along with their _clients_!"

"Charlie!" both Bella and her stepmom cried the minute he was done, as Jasper and I shared a mutual look of discomfort.

"I cannot _believe_ you just spoke about our guests like that!" Sue yelled, looking as if she was minutes away from committing a felony. "And after you promised you'd be nice to them!"

"I still don't see why I should be acting friendly to _that…._" Charlie scowled, his hand waving in my general direction as if he was pointing out something completely revolting.

I was beginning to see a pattern there.

"Dad!" Bella groaned.

"No, Bells," Charlie defended himself. "I can't for the life of me imagine why you'd ever want to cozy up to a boy who all but broke your spirit the last time he was around, when you have a more than decent guy waiting to make you his wife. Jacob is miserable without you, Bells, _miserable_. I'm pretty sure he'd take you back in a jiffy if only you'd ask him."

_Wait….what?_

"Shush your mouth right now Charles Everett Swan!" Sue scolded as I still tried to wrap my mind around everything Charlie had just said as well as the guilty look on Bella's face. "You know as well as I do that no amount of nagging is going to bring Bella and Jacob back together. Leave those two kids in peace!"

Finally my mouth started to catch up with my brain and I turned to find Bella looking back at me in horror. "Edward I….."

"What are they saying, Bella?" I asked, feeling my anger welling up inside of me as I more and more started to realize I'd been played for a fool. "You and Jacob broke up?"

"You didn't even tell him?" Charlie guffawed. "That's classic!" Out of the corner of my eyes I saw him high-five his step-son, both their faces looking as if they'd just won the lottery.

"I meant to tell you," Bella started in a soft, guilt-ridden voice, her hand trying to reach out to mine. "I really did. You _have_ to believe me…..But it was just….we were never in the right mindset to discuss it…."

"I'm sure you did," I sneered, swatting her hand away.

"You don't get to talk to my daughter like that!" Charlie yelled, leaning forward on the table as he partially raised himself up from the chair while Seth, too, was getting ready to strike.

"These carrots are delicious," Alice intervened with a calm and very fake chipperness, trying her best to diffuse the situation when even she must have known it was pointless, while Jasper looked torn between wanting to help and ducking out of the way for cover. "What kind of herbs did you use to…."

The rest of her words were drowned out as I slammed my napkin down onto the table and pushed my chair back loudly. "Please excuse me," I grumbled under my breath, trying not to watch the smug look of satisfaction that crossed Charlie's face.

"Edward!" Bella pleaded, almost beating me to the door as I scurried to make my way out of there. "Please….wait."

I looked back, her guilty look only fueling my anger as she hovered near the door, torn between stopping me and letting me go.

I shook my head at her, my rage throbbing forcefully through my veins as she took a small step forward. "Leave me the fuck alone," I warned her, before slamming the door shut behind me and walking into the fresh evening air.

I'd had about as much of this dinner as I could stomach.

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_**There's now a twilighted thread for this story. Feel free to drop by and discus your theories or ask me any questions about this story or its characters. I can't guarantee I'll answer (I won't if it gives away something vital to the plot) but I will try my best. I will also be using the thread to post pictures and songs that inspired my writing. **_

_**The link to the thread is: (dot)net/forum/viewtopic(dot)php?f=44&t=13706**_

_**Follow me on twitter for updates on my writing and everything else. I'm missbaby25 over there. **_

_**Loved it? Hated it? Please let me know. Reviewers get teased…..**_


	25. Chapter 25

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. I am in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise, I just use their creations to have my wicked way with them. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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_**This story wouldn't be what it is without my wonderful beta, **_**The Real Teacher**_**, holding my hand, correcting my many errors and talking me down from the ledge when I'm this close to deleting a chapter. Thank you so much!**_

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**- 24 -**

"Bella, wait!" I could hear the clicking of Alice's heels behind me on the road as I jogged, desperately trying to catch up on Edward who'd disappeared into the undergrowth covering the track that led from his house to mine.

"I _have_ to talk to him," I answered, more to myself than to her.

"And you will, Bella," she was quick to reply, her hand fastening around mine and yanking be backwards before I could set a foot on the forest path. "But not tonight."

"Why the hell not?" I challenged her, my heart beating frantically with regret, guilt, horror and a desperate need to make this right again.

"Because he's angry right now," she stated calmly, "and you're way too upset to think straight and act rationally."

I spun around, my eyes unwillingly leaving the forest edge to scowl at her. "He just stormed out of here like a fucking maniac without giving me a chance to explain and…."

"Don't you see, Bella?" she pleaded. "If you go after him right now, the only thing that will happen is history repeating itself…."

"He _told _you?" I gasped, not quite sure how I felt about that.

"Of course he did," Alice shrugged, before searching my eyes with her own. "We kind of have this thing where we talk and stuff…."

I frowned. "So what are you? His therapist?"

She shrugged. "How about his friend?"

I sighed, finally giving in and abandoning my quest to follow Edward into the woods as I let Alice tug me back towards the house. "He's a good man, Bella," she spoke softly. "A better man that he gives himself credit for."

"I know," I muttered.

"And he loves you," Alice went on, acting as if she hadn't heard me, "enough even to want to change himself into a better person just so that it might earn him the chance of ever gaining your high opinion of him again."

"I know," I repeated, shrinking further into myself with embarrassment.

"Then why do you still fight it?" she challenged me.

I shrugged, not exactly feeling up to bearing my soul to a total stranger. "I dunno."

"Then figure your shit out!" she commanded, before sighing like she was gearing up to explain a difficult math problem to a bunch of mathematically challenged freshmen. "Look: I know you're scared and shell-shocked about the speed and ferocity in which this romance kind of thingy has developed between the two of you but, for the love of Dolly Parton, snap out of it!"

"W-What?" The look on my face probably didn't scream 'intelligence' or even 'brain-activity' but I was beyond caring at that point.

"You have this guy willing to jump through burning hoops just to get you to notice him but instead of cutting the poor sod some slack you just go and line up the next round."

I arched my brow. "You're still not making any sense."

Alice rolled her eyed in a 'oh my God, you're sooooo stupid' kind of way. "If you ever want to get somewhere with Edward, you're going to have to _let him in_, Bella," she said, emphasizing the last three words before my name.

"Don't you think I've been trying to do that?" I yelled.

"Have you really?" she challenged. "Because it sure doesn't look like it to me."

"What the hell do you know about me?" I spat, wondering why I was even listening to the annoying little sprite in the first place. "For the last two weeks it seems like all I've been doing is cutting him slack and giving him chance after chance without even stopping to think how that made _me_ feel."

She grabbed my arm before I could get the hell away from her. "I can only begin to imagine how hard it is for you to trust him and let him back in, but can't you see that by raising all these roadblocks you're creating a very one sided friendship?"

I felt like yelling back at her, tearing free of her hold and – hell- maybe even spitting the dammed little nuisance in the face.

But I didn't.

Because part of me was really intrigued by what she had to say.

"Edward's really trying here," she continued. "but if you don't match his honesty and fess up to your own fears and doubts, the two of you are never going to be real friends."

She sighed. "I don't condone his storming out of the house like his ass is on fire any more than you should be doing, and when we get back I am going to sort his ass out and get him to take some anger management classes even if it will be the death of me…but in this case, I can see why he did it."

I looked up, wanting her to continue more than I wanted to refute her words. "Walking into your house, knowing what kind of reception he was going to get, couldn't have been easy for him and then to be blindsided like that….I can see why he wanted to get the hell away from it all before he did something really stupid."

There was something in her words that made me deflate like a hot air balloon hitting a cactus. _She was right. _

_I had let Edward walk into my dad's house that day, unknowing of the minefield he was stepping into. _

"So what do I do now?" I asked, kicking a few pebbles that lay by the side of the road. "How do I make this right again?"

"Talk to him, Bella," Alice, whose uncanny ability to read my mood had softened up a bit. "Tell him what went on in your brain. Tell him what made you decide to hide behind a boyfriend that wasn't instead of coming clean to him. I promise you: it will help."

I sighed. "I'll try." It seemed so easy when she put it like that, but I knew it wasn't. Edward and I…..we had a long road ahead of us.

"And don't you dare toy with him," she finally warned me. "If you want him, go for it. If you don't, let him know instead of stringing him along. Because as much as I like you, if I ever find you messing with that guy's head then, by God, I will kick that skinny little ass of yours so hard you'll be farting from your mouth."

Somehow there wasn't a doubt in my mind that she could do that. "Noted."

"Just give him tonight to calm down and get some perspective and maybe talk to him tomorrow?" Alice offered, her demeanor shifting from Bellatrix Lestrange back to a more socially acceptable (as well as sane) level.

"Fine," I sighed, giving in – though be it reluctantly – to Alice's plea.

"I'll talk to him when we get back and see if I can get him to look at things from your perspective," Alice went on, a lot more hopeful than I ever could be. "And who knows? Maybe by morning things will have worked out on their own?"

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah and maybe tomorrow morning little birds will help me get dressed when I get up."

"I'd like to see that!" Alice chuckled, offering her arm. "Come on! Let get back to the house. That is….if it's still standing."

"I do hope so!" I groaned, though knowing my mom's somewhat tempestuous nature I wasn't holding out much hope. "Because it way too cold to sleep outside right now and as things stand between us, I don't think Edward would offer me his spare room!"

"You'll be welcome to sleep in my car," Alice snickered. "It has more than enough leg room for you to be comfortable."

Before I followed Alice back to my dad's house, I let my eyes glide along the forest's edge one last time, hoping against hope that Edward would emerge from the dense tree line and allow me to make this right again.

_God, I'd been so fucking stupid!_

Why did I wait for the 'perfect moment' to tell him, knowing full well that no such thing as that had ever existed? Why couldn't I have just told him in the car on our way here? Why did I have to make such a big production out of it?

The answer was simple: because I was scared to death of how he was going to react…..

Well, now I'd done it. By not telling him I'd effectively made sure that Edward would never do the thing I was so scared off. _Congratulations, Bella Swan! Are you happy now?_

No.

I wasn't happy. In fact, I was as far from happy as a person could get and with my attempt to run after him and force him to hear me out and offer my apologies frustrated, I had no idea of how I was ever going to make this right again.

Had Alice been right? Was it better to let him stew for a night before talking to him?

And if it was…what would I say?

"What on earth is he doing over there?" Alice's voice sounded, her brow pulling into a frown as she noticed her husband sitting outside on the front porch.

I snorted, seeing his long limbs straining to find purpose on the small steps leading up to the front door. "Did my dad kick you out?"

"Nah," he chuckled, his worn jeans and casual shirt making him look like he'd just wandered out of Brokeback. "I volunteered."

I smirked. "That bad, huh?"

"I kinda drew the line when your stepmom – who, by the way is an otherwise charming woman – started throwing dishes at people's heads. I figure I'll be needing to stay on top of my game for tomorrow and a concussion isn't going to do me any good," he answered, humoring his wife by allowing her to think she could actually pull him up as she reached out her hand to help him to his feet again. "I hope the china wasn't some kind of family heirloom or something,"

"I think they destroyed all of the good stuff during their first year of marriage," I snorted. "And, by the way, don't worry: Sue might be scary when she gets pissed, she's got about as lousy an aim as they get. She'll only hit you if she wasn't aiming at you."

"Which was kinda what I was afraid off," Jasper grinned, linking his arm with his wife's. "Come on. Honey. I think we've got one pissed off lawyer to pick up somewhere between here and home. Better we'd snap to it before he makes some lucky wolf a lovely meal."

Alice pouted as she allowed her husband to guide her back towards their insanely big car. "Aw. You're making me feel sorry for the wolf about denying him his food!"

"Thanks for having us over, Bella," Jasper smiled as they reached the end of the drive where his car was parked. "It was very….."

"Entertaining?" I offered before he could come up with anything else.

Jasper chuckled. "I guess that's one way of putting it. I guess I'll see you tomorrow at Billy's house."

"I guess you will," I nodded as Alice started waving at me from the passenger's side as if she was on a damn carnival float. _Psychologist or not, that woman was in-fucking-sane_. "Do you know how to find it?"

"Gas station at the other end of the town, right?" he asked, continuing only when I nodded. "Yeah, we passed it on your way in."

After promising them to thank my dad and Sue for having them over (they'd have done it themselves if the risk of ending up in Forks General Hospital wasn't so great) I waved them goodbye.

Turning back to the house with a sigh, I wished I could have Alice's confidence that all of this would turn out right in the end.

But I didn't.

I knew I'd make a big mistake when I let Edward walk into the house without knowing about the situation with Jake. Alice was right: it wasn't fair on him to expect him to be completely open and honest with me while I was withholding stuff from him all along.

But I'd never meant for this to happen.

I still couldn't believe my dad, though. I knew my problem was mostly of my own creation but never in a million years had I ever expected my dad to be so…cruel. Especially after he'd promised me to do his best to remain civil.

The house was eerily silent when I walked in which meant that either Sue had either stormed off after successfully breaking all of the china or she and my dad had reconciled and where now in the midst of a round of hot and steamy make-up sex.

Ugh!

As much trouble I had, making a mental picture of my dad doing anything hot and steamy (and thank God for that!), I had no desire to amend that fact by actually witnessing my dad 'doing the deed'.

"Dad?" I called out cautiously as I lingered in the foyer.

"In here, baby girl!" Dad's voice answered almost immediately from the general direction of the dining room.

I figured it was safe to come in. My dad's voice hadn't sounded like he was in the midst's of anything strenuous and even if he was, I somehow doubted he'd invited me in to observe. _I took after my dad in that respect. _

"Dad?" I asked when, upon entering the dining room all I could see was a great big mess.

"Under the table," his voice sounded, the clinging of china against china indicating that he was already underway to right said mess. "You wanna get your two cents in as well? I think there might be a few plates left in the kitchen you can throw at me."

"Nah," I shrugged, feeling more guilty and disappointed than angry at the moment. "What would be the fun in targeting an unarmed victim? It would be like shooting fish in a barrel."

"That's my girl." Dad chuckled, finally ducking out from underneath the table. He was looking a little bit worse for wear and, by the look of it, Sue had actually managed to land a few shots on target this time.

I snorted bitterly as I crashed down onto one of the empty chairs. "Looks like she got you good. Not that I feel sorry for you."

"I know." Dad sighed, flinging what used to be the handle on one of the serving dishes to the side. "But that doesn't mean that I don't think what I did was right."

"Dad-," I groaned, only to be stopped by him before I could say something else.

"No, let me get this out, Bella," he pressed. "I've made no secrets in the past that I'm very fond of the idea of having Jacob Black for a son in law…."

He paused as if he had to take a minute to get back in command over himself. "I know you're pretty determined to break things off with the boy and I guess I'll have to respect that but for the love of God, don't go mixing your lot in with the Cullen kid, Bells. He's bad news and you know it."

I sighed long and deep, closing my eyes as I geared up for battle. "He's changed."

My dad snorted, just like I'd expected him to. "Sure. And am I supposed to believe that?"

I looked up at him, hoping he would at least see the truth in my eyes. "You're supposed to believe _me_, dad. Trust _me_. At first I was as unwilling as you were to believe him but somewhere along the way I realized that he was for real." It wasn't until I spoke the words out loud that I realized how true they were. _I trusted Edward_.

Dad shook his head at me as he let out a bitter laugh. "The only thing that's 'for real' about that kid is the way he's been successfully manipulating everyone around him."

"Did you know that he told me everything about what happened that day in the woods?" I challenged him, acting as if I hadn't heart his final remark.

"Oh yeah?" Dad snickered darkly. "Did he also tell you that I expressly forbade him to ever contact you again? That doesn't make him very trustworthy now, does it?"

"He told me that too, dad," I scowled, "but don't you think I'm old enough to decide who I hang out with?"

"Apparently not if you're still hanging around that Cullen kid," dad sneered back. "I'm not the bad guy, here. I'm just trying to look out for my little girl."

"I know dad," I sighed, getting more desperate by the minute now that talking to my dad seemed to get me nowhere. "I would have gone into the kitchen to fetch those plates you were talking about just now a long time ago. But as much as I like the fact that you're looking out for me, you'll have to trust me on this one."

I let out another deep breath. "You spend five minutes in his presence but I got to see a whole lot more of him over the last couple of weeks. At first I didn't want him near me any more than you do, but in time I started to see the changes in him. Sure, he's not there yet, but he's trying, dad and I feel that with him I can be myself and….."

I blushed, admitting the truth to myself only seconds before I admitted it to my dad. "….and I'm completely safe."

"No you're not," dad snarled, his voice raising as his desperation too, increased. "Don't think I don't know what's going on in the big city just because I live in a backwards little town. I know they found this kid murdered in some park the other day, which so happens to be the same park where you had a meeting after dark with a guy you called – what was it again? – Mr. Anonymous in your latest contribution to _The Daily_."

My hand shot up to my throat as my heart started to speed up to hummingbird levels. "You….you know?"

He arched one brow. "I'm a cop, Bells. A cop and a father. What the hell am I supposed to do?"

"I don't know." I shrugged, sending a shard of flower covered china crashing into the corner of the room as I kicked at it. "I'm just kinda surprised you read my stuff and…you know."

This somehow seemed to offend him. "Of course I do!" he growled. "Hell, I'd post it all over the town's bulletin board if only Sue let me cut through other people's articles. I'm proud of ya, Bells. That is, when you're not off getting yourself mixed up in things that are way bigger than you can handle."

"I know, daddy," I answered him in a soft voice. "That's why I asked to be taken off the case."

The way he looked at me told me that he wasn't quite sure to believe me. "Because of the danger?"

I chuckled. He knew me too well. "That and because of a stark conflict of interest."

"The Cullen boy," he growled, bringing us right back to square one. "Well, at least I have to hand it to him that his annoying presence in your life is keeping you out of harm's way."

"Yes," I answered calmly. "I know you don't like him and probably never will, but I do. And nothing you can say is going to change my mind."

He started to laugh, much to my surprise. "Do you have any idea of how much you remind me of your mother right now?"

"No?" I replied, my answer coming out more like a question than a statement of fact.

"She stood up to those snooty parents of hers too, you know," he chuckled, his eyes far away. "Told them she'd have me no matter what, come hell or high water. Well, you know how _that_ ended."

"That doesn't mean…." I started.

"I know that, sweetheart," he interrupted me, his eyes looking tired yet resigned. "What I'm trying to say is that I don't want to see this thing drive a wedge between us just like it did to your mom and her folks."

He sighed, rubbing his mustache. "So I guess I'll just have to resign myself to the facts and accept that you and the Cullen boy are a done deal."

I mouthed dropped open with surprise, making him chuckle. "Thanks dad!" I managed to gasp, throwing my arms around him and pulling him into a one-sided hug that was extremely awkward until finally he responded to it.

"Yeah, yeah," he muttered, uncomfortably patting me on the back. "This still doesn't mean I like it one bit, though. You tell that boy to always sleep with one eye open and that if he – or anyone else for that matter – ever so much as harms a single hair on that pretty little head of yours, his ass is mine no matter what his fancy lawyer friends might do to defend him. I'm holding _him_ responsible for your wellbeing."

"I will, dad," I chuckled, not exactly caring for anything else but the fact that this thing between me and my dad had been resolved – no matter how reluctant Charlie had been. "That is….if I can ever get him to talk to me again after what just happened."

My dad had the god grace to at least look guilty, though his words didn't speak of it. "He'd be an ass if he gave up on you that easily."

Before long I could feel that my dad had had enough of the touchy-feely shit for one day. "I'd better go to bed," I said with a shrug, untangling myself from his hold. "Long day tomorrow and all."

"Yeah, you should," dad nodded, scratching the back of his head.

I leaned in to kiss his cheek, inwardly relishing in the way he froze up because of my actions. "Good night dad."

"Good night, Bells," he chuckled as he ducked down to retrieve his dustpan and brush. "Oh and Bella?"

I turned around at the sound of his voice. "Yeah?"

"You're supposed to sleep in my bed with Sue tonight. She left very clear instructions about that." And, as I laughed at him, he added. "Plus, over the years I've learned that crawling into bed with your stepmother after we've just had an argument isn't a very smart move."

"Got it, dad!" I snickered, before grabbing my bag from Sue's artist studio and making my way upstairs glad that I would get to sleep on my dad's side of the huge, comfy bed while my dad would have to make do with a lumpy, tiny fold out.

_I guess as a cop he should have known that there would be no rest for the wicked!_

**- x -**

The next morning found me standing on the doorstep of Billy's house bright and early in the morning, still rubbing the sleep out of my eyes with one hand as I brought my steaming travel cup up to my lips with the other and drowned the last of the strong black coffee inside of it.

I was going to need a whole lot more of those before I'd be able to call myself awake. _Spending the night tossing around in bed while trying to come up with a way to solve a clusterfuck of humongous proportions would do that to a person….._

Alice had texted me late last night to tell me that all three of them had made it back to the Cullen's house in one piece but also warned me that Edward was still in a terrible mood.

Not that I could blame him.

It would make getting through to him a lot harder, though, which was why I'd made sure to be at Billy's bright and early to at least make sure that Jake was out of the way before Edward and Jasper would arrive.

_The last thing I needed right now was for someone to have to call in my dad to break up a fight between Jake and Edward. I'd never hear the end of it. _

"Morning, Bella," Billy greeted me as he opened the door, chuckling at my state of half-sleep and the nearly empty cup in my hand. "This place may not look like much but I do happen to have a coffee maker. You didn't have to bring your own!"

"This one was just for the road." I could feel my cheeks pinking up. I knew he was only joking but still….

He shook his head, twisting the wheels of his wheelchair so that I could move past him into the house. "Right. I should have known that. Your dad always claims you can't even get as far as the mailbox without breaking your neck in the morning before you've had your coffee."

I shuffled past him. "So, you and Charlie talk about me around my back? What else have the two of you been cooking up lately?"

He snickered conspiratorially as he shoved the door closed. "Believe me, you don't want to know."

And somehow I didn't think he was horsing around with me this time.

We were silent for a couple of moments, me deep in thought and Billy hard at work getting his antique coffee pot to brew another batch of the strong black coffee he knew I liked.

"Bella?" I looked up from my thoughts, a little started to find him right in front of me and studying me as if he didn't quite know what to make of this whole situation.

I frowned. "Yeah?"

"Not that I don't enjoy your company and all that…" he started hesitantly, "but aren't you a bit, I don't know, early? I thought you guys weren't supposed to show up until eleven and it's only ten right now."

I blushed. "I should start explaining that, shouldn't I?"

When he nodded I went on, folding my hand around the chipped mug containing another dose of the heavenly brew. "I was hoping to have a chat with Jake before our meeting but I couldn't find him anywhere so…..."

Charlie chuckled. "He went out earlier to make sure Eileen had her truck back in time to drive her youngest to his game. He should be back by now, though, if you want to talk to him."

I nodded. "Do you mind?"

He chuckled as if I'd said something funny. "Not at all. It's about time you give that boy the closure he needs to move on with his life, instead of moping around all day."

His words send a jolt of pain through my heart. Though he may not have been very high up on my list of favorite people lately, Jake was a good man and I'd never set out to hurt him. Billy and Jake had been there for me through good times and bad over the last couple of years and – and wrong as Jake and I were as lovers – I would hate to lose either of them as friends over this. "I'm so sorry, Billy. I wish…."

His hand folded around mine, his eyes shining up at me with a sad kind of honesty that tore through my open wound like a razorblade. "Don't be. The two of you simply weren't meant to be and no amount of wishing or wanting could ever have changed that. Go set that boy straight, Bella. You owe it to him and to yourself."

I managed to pull the corners of my lips into a smile. "Wise words. Did you tell him that as well?"

"Nope," Billy replied, grinning wickedly. "I think I'm going to leave that to you."

"And to think I liked you!" I scowled in jest as I grabbed my mug for comfort – God knew I was going to need all the liquid comfort I could get – and made my way back across the yard to the repair shop.

Jake was in. If the sight of his car sitting in its usual spot didn't clue me in, the sound of good old country music blaring from the speakers and tools clanging around were a dead giveaway.

"Hey, Jake!" I called out as I entered the shop, my voice not quite managing to sound as upbeat as I intended it to be.

My first reply was another loud clang, followed by a string of profanities. "Hi Bells," he voice called out. He sounded pained and I wasn't quite sure of all of that could be explained by whatever he just banged into. "What's up?"

I took a deep, steadying breath. "I think it's about time we had that talk. Are you free?"

It remained silent for so long that I was almost starting to doubt whether or not he'd heard me. "I guess," he finally sighed, sounding more resigned than enthusiastic.

But I guess I couldn't blame him.

I started looking for words to say the moment I could see his body sliding out from underneath the dilapidated old Ford Explorer he was working on but came up with nothing. Not even after he walked up to me and grabbed a filthy looking piece of cloth to clean his hands ( though I did wonder how he was ever going to get clean from using a rag that looked like it hadn't seen a washing machine in years).

Nothing at all.

Which, for someone who was planning to make her trade out of linguistic virtuosity, was rather disappointing.

But not even my disappointment could get me to open my mouth and speak.

And, unfortunately, Jake noticed it too. "I thought you wanted to talk?" he scowled, throwing his wrench on the workbench with a loud thud.

'I did…I do…I mean…." I was ready to pull out my hair at that point. "This is hard for me, okay? Cut me some slack!"

"This is hard for you?" he seethed. "Try having to stand there and try and be reasonable knowing you're seconds away from getting dumped!"

"Y-you know?" I gasped.

He rolled his eyes. "Of course I do. I may be persistent but I'm not stupid!"

"But then why did you…"

"Persist?" he offered, continuing only after I nodded. "Because I love you, Bella. And I didn't want to just walk away from this knowing there might have been a chance at us getting back together."

I sighed. "Jake….." I was halfway reaching out to him when he stopped me.

"Don't," he pleaded, moving backwards. "Just…don't. It will make this only harder on both of us."

I guessed he was right. "So, this is it, huh?"

He nodded, looking at his feet. "I guess so."

"For what it's worth: I'm sorry," I spoke. "I never set out to hurt you or string you along. I wanted this as much as you did…as much as _anyone _did."

"I know," he muttered, his hand twitching by his side as if he wasn't sure whether to reach out to touch me or hit something. "But I guess you can't force the heart, huh?"

"I guess not," I admitted, knowing the truth in his words. My heart had already been given away long before I even met Jake. And, though my feelings about the one I gave it to had changed more often than Rhianna's hairstyle, it hadn't ever been returned.

"So, was that all?" he repeated my words from before, picking up some kind of greasy tool as he looked like he couldn't wait for me to bugger off so that he could get back to his car.

The miserable grease-covered son of a bitch!

After all my tossing and turning and trying to prepare for Jakes rage or sadness and coming up with a million and one retorts to every possible thing he may have had to say to me, his

"Yeah, I guess it was," I fumed, storming out of the shop before my mouth ran off and said something that was only going to make this worse.

Little did I know that I was simply running from one bad situation straight into another.

Alice's ridiculously humongous black Escalade pulled up right as I crossed the yard back to Billy's house. In fact, it swerved so close as it moved past me that I almost landed face first into the uneven surface of cobble-stones and mud that lined the gas-station area of the Black's business enterprise.

If you could call a gas station consisting of two pumps and a little shop where people could pay and buy some candy bars and a slightly larger barn that was used as the repair shop an enterprise.

Their business was pretty much a metaphor for the town: it had seen better days but you couldn't imagine a world without it. It had been there longer than I had been alive and, if Jake had any say in it, it would be there for the foreseeable future as well.

"Are you okay, Bella?" Jasper asked, jumping out of the passenger side of the truck/tank.

I guess I should have known from the attempt at my life that it had been Edward behind the wheel.

"I'm fine," I shrugged, brushing a few non-existent specks of dust from my sweater. "You might want to think again about letting Sullen Cullen drive your car, though. He's a lawsuit waiting to happen."

"Nah, I think he's just not that much of a morning person." Jasper snorted as Edward made his way down from the driver's side with a look on his face that didn't bode well for a quick reconciliation.

"Not much of a morning person?" I chuckled, paying no attention to Edward's death glares. "You can say that again! The guy tried to run me over with his little tank!"

"Whatever," Edward growled, pushing past me so closely that, for the second time that day, he made me wobble on my feet. "Let's just get this over with."

I sighed, staring after him. "Charming."

"What did you expect?" Jasper chuckled. "It's Edward Cullen we're talking about here. If there's anyone in the world who can make a mountain out of a molehill it's him. And you have to admit it: gave him quite an incline to work with."

"I know," I muttered. "But I never meant…."

"Hold it right there, missy," Jasper interrupted me. "Contrary to my wife, I've made it my life's mission to stay as much out of other people's business as I can and even if I didn't Edward's my friend – well, sort of – and we're here because we have a job to do."

I sighed. "I see."

"So let's just get into that house and listen to what your friend has to say about the case," he offered. "You can worry about getting back into Eddie's good books when we're done."

When we went inside we found Billy and Edward already huddled around the kitchen table discussing the case. "You may want to see this," Edward spoke to Jasper the minute we came in. "Billy took his own photographs of the crime scene."

"Don't expect too much of them," Billy spoke before handing Jasper a small stack of pictures. "I only took these so that I could use them at home, you know, when a thought hit me and I wanted to cross check it against the crime scene."

Jasper whistled, letting his eyes glide over the Polaroid frames. "The placing of the body…" He shook his head, looking up at Edward.

"I know," Edward nodded, his eyes shining with a fire I'd rarely seen in him, giving his already handsome features a glow that set my ovaries alight. "It's almost identical to Jane's."

"She was stabbed to death as well, wasn't she?" Billy remarked.

Edward nodded, rifling through what looked like a copy of the post mortem report and tapping his finger against a paragraph that seemed to hold his attention. "The angle the police are using is that the killer used whatever weapon was handy. Still, I think it's too much of a coincidence that both these girls were stabbed with the same kind of blade."

"You're thinking it's the same killer," Billy stated, nodding slightly as I could almost see the wheels in his head spinning like mad.

Edward shrugged. "We'd be fools not to."

"Do you know if the Medical Examiner handling the case ran a rape kit on Bree?" Jasper wanted to know.

Billy frowned. "I think it's somewhere in there…" He pointed at the dossier Edward was still perusing, "but I seem to remember that there were traces of recent vaginal intercourse…"

"I've got it right here," Edward interrupted. "The resident M.E. concluded that Bree had vaginal intercourse quite soon before she was killed but he or she didn't find any traces of semen, pubic hair or any other kind of DNA on the victim's body. He did find traces of rubber and spermicide, indicating that whoever she had sex with used a condom."

"Just like in the Jane Foster-case," Jasper nodded, tapping his fingers against his lips.

"There's something else, though," Billy started, his voice slightly hesitant. "I don't know if it has any relevance on your investigations but…."

"Please." Edward smiled encouragingly. "If it's something that got your attention, we'd like to know."

"It's just a feeling I had," Billy shrugged, "and it's probably nothing….but when Bree's body was handed back to the family for burial we were kind of surprised that the girl's folks opted to have her cremated. You see, the Tanners were staunch Catholics which was why we would have thought they'd want their girl to be buried."

Jasper frowned, nodding as he listened intently. "Do you know why they opted for cremation?"

"We never asked," Billy shrugged. "We had other, more pressing, matters to deal with at that time and even if we would have asked….I somehow doubt we would have been given a straight answer."

"Why?" I wondered out loud, my interference earning me a glare from Edward.

"I got the feeling that the Tanners weren't too fond of us poking around in their private lives," Billy explained. "I do know that it was the hospital that picked up the tab for Bree's funeral, since the Tanners didn't have the means to give their kid a proper send off. Maybe that had something to do with it….."

I frowned, the whole matter striking me as somewhat odd. Why would the hospital strong-arm a pair of grieving parents into cremating their child when their personal beliefs – beliefs in which they'd raised their kid – told them that was wrong?

Jasper and Edward continued to question Billy like that for the next hour, rarely ever needing any input from me apart from when I made myself useful filling up their coffee cups or rifling through Billy's kitchen cabinets looking for something to eat.

You'd think I'd feel like a fool, being left out of the loop like that.

But I didn't.

In a way it was almost liberating to be off the case and look at it like an outsider would. It was only now that I was beginning to see how good both Edward and Jasper were at what they did. Jasper had that whole captivating Southern gentleman thing down to a 't' and I could see from the things he said that he was both intelligent and gifted.

But still, he had nothing on Edward.

Edward was on fire throughout the meeting, his questions straight and to the point, his attention never wavering and the flexibility of his mind and accurateness of his statement winning Billy over even more so than Jasper's Southern flare ever could. I could see how he was going to be a deadly weapon if they'd ever let him loose on an unsuspecting jury.

I would have been very impressed, had he not been such a complete asshole.

All through the meeting he made it his priority to ignore me as best as he could and, if acknowledging me was absolutely necessary, glare at me or belittle me with some derogatory remark about journalists which hit home extra hard because my usual weapon against them – my snark – was failing me.

"Just one more thing," Jasper wrapped up after all questions about the Bree Tanner case had been answered and a pretty damn tasty – if I may say so since I'd been the one to cook it – vegetable stew had been polished off. "I think I remember that you told Bella at some point how you thought your old colleagues from the force reacted a bit strangely to your information?"

Billy shifted uncomfortably in his wheelchair. "How about you try 'not at all'?" he smirked.

"Who did you speak to?" Edward asked.

"Initially to one of my old buddies. He's got a desk job now, but he still remembers the old times when he and I used to chase the bad guys," Billy chuckled. "He connected me to one of the detectives handling the case as soon as he learned what I had to say for myself, though. Turns out I knew the guy, though not very well. He was only a rookie in uniform around the time I left but I remembered him because even then he was one of the most ambitious sons of bitches I'd ever seen in my life. I always knew the boy would make it far."

"Do you remember his name?" Jasper sounded as eager as a puppy encountering a ball.

"Sure I do," Billy snickered. "My legs may be a bit wonky but the old brain still works like a charm. The name was Santiago. Detective Santiago."

I gasped, all three men looking up at me as I scrambled to explain myself. "He told me he never heard about your discoveries. He thought your information must have gotten lost somewhere…."

Jasper nodded. "So it seems the Volturi have infiltrated the Seattle Police Department."

Our meeting ended soon after that. I could tell Billy was hesitant to condemn his old buddies from the force and, seeing as Edward and Jasper had everything they needed, the conversation soon ran dry.

Edward was the first one to leave, claiming something about starting the car while Jasper was still talking to Billy about some of the pictures. I saw that as my golden opportunity to finally speak to Edward, though I had to admit that the 'open mind' I'd had when I drove up to Billy's place this morning had been replaced by a bit more sullen mood.

Edward and his attempt at vehicular manslaughter earlier this morning, had seen to that.

"Edward!" I called out, running after him after saying a quick goodbye and thank you to Billy.

I should have known better than to think I'd get a reply from him, not that I let that stop me, though.

"Dammit Edward! Stop being an ass and at least give me a minute or so to explain myself!" I called after him, letting some of my anger seep into my voice. "We _need_ to talk about this."

He didn't even have the common decency to turn and face me as he answered me, his hand already folding around the door handle of the Escalade. "I don't think so."

"Well I do!" I growled, slamming the door shut before he could get in. "You ran away yesterday before I could defend myself and just now you tried to run me over with your car? I think that warrants a conversation!"

He finally turned to me, his lips turned up in a rather sinister looking smile as he leaned against the car. 'Then please enlighten me, Miss High and Mighty. What is it that I've done to vex you this time?"

"Please, don't be like that," I pleaded, his cruelty making it very hard for me to open up to him about my fears. "I know I did the wrong thing by not telling you about me and Jake but I never meant to hurt you, Edward. _Please!_ You _have_ to believe me."

"Sure I do," he shrugged, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "But while you're at it, could you please explain to me why you had to go through all of that trouble to invent a boyfriend…"

"I didn't invent him," I interrupted him, only realizing what a colossal mistake that was until the words had left my mouth. "Jake and I did use to be together. We only broke up around the beginning of the trial and….."

"While you had to go and invent a _boyfriend_," Edward repeated himself in a louder, angrier tone, "just to keep me at arm's length. If you didn't trust me, then at least you could have had the balls to tell me so."

"I-I d-didn't," I stammered. I didn't expect this to happen. I would have expected his disappointment or even his frustration but never his _anger_.

"You know what? Forget it!" He sneered, not giving me a chance to come up with an explanation. "I don't think you really know what you want and I'm done fighting for this when you can't even be bothered to reward my efforts with honesty."

I paled, swallowing hard as I had to admit the truth in his words. "Edward…I…."

"No, Bella," he interrupted me, his voice sounding cold and hard. "I think we're done talking now. I would have fought for you if it had been actual people I had been pitched against, but I can't fight ghosts and figments of your imagination."

As his words stripped me of whatever hope I had left that we would be able to get over this, he jumped inside the car and revved up the engine, Jasper only making it to the passengers' side just in time to duck into the car before it sped off, leaving only dust and devastation in its wake.

But it was only too soon that those feelings were replaced by rage; a big, seething and boiling rage that stirred the flames inside of me even when thick drops of rain started to drip on my skin.

He was doing it again.

That rat bastard was up to his same old tricks, using his anger to mask his true feelings and lashing out before his victim could come up with an explanation or any other logical defense.

He'd pushed me away, just like he'd done ten years ago.

And, what was even worse: I'd let him do that.

Just like ten years ago.

I didn't know it was anger at him or at myself that made me jump into Sue's car and speed of in the direction of the Cullens' home. All I knew was that not even the rain pouring down on the windshield, making it all but invisible to see anything else but my own, haggard reflection could deter me.

I was going to have this out with him, even if I had to hunt him down and tie him to a chair. Which wasn't even such a strange scenario, considering I was up against one of the most pig-headed, stubborn human beings on the planet.

I would have thought that driving through the streaming rain would have become easier once I was on the quiet private lane leading up to the house. The denseness of the trees would keep most of the rain out, making it possible for me to actually see what was going on outside my window as opposed to driving on knowledge and prayer alone.

You'd think that. But you'd be wrong.

With the drops of rain, dripping through the foliage, also came a downpour of leaves and other tree-crap which was almost impossible to get rid of with the inadequate little rubber bands the people who fabricated the tiny little car I was in called windshield wipers. And if that wasn't bad enough, the car got stuck in the mud halfway down the road.

"Come on, come on, come on," I cried, my foot stepping on the gas as I alternated between putting the car in reverse and going full speed ahead – or at least trying to. The only thing that got me was further into trouble.

"Fine then!" I growled, yanking the keys out of the ignition with one hand and flinging the door open with the other. "Be like that!" And with a gracious swirl I launched my body out of the car…..and straight into at least a foot and a half of mud, leaves and other crap mother nature barfed up when she got soaked with rain.

"Fuck!" I gasped as the freezing cold water (and God only knew what else) seeped into my shoes as they sunk further into the dough like mud.

Lovely.

As I tried to extricate my feet from nature's chokehold I felt the compelling need to hit something. The tires of the car looked tempting as hell, but I knew that if I wanted to get to them, I'd have to wade through two feet of cold and sticky mud and there would be a fair chance that by the time I finally made it my feet would be too heavy to lift. Let alone kick.

I'd just have to wait until Edward's face came within striking distance.

My feet made this awful sloshing sound as I waded my way towards the beautiful white mansion at the end of the driveway on foot, the plans I had for Edward when I finally came face to face with the guy become more violent and extravagant with each loud step I took.

That was, until I rounded the corner and found myself standing at a place I must have inhabited over a hundred times in my childhood, gazing out at the familiar fairytale-like architecture of the Cullens' home in Forks.

It truly was an amazing place and, even though it had stood empty for the best part of the last ten years, it still looked every bit as beautiful as I remembered it.

I closed my eyes, letting the memories of the place flood through my mind undisturbed for a moment before I opened them again, my eyes, ironically enough, landing straight on the semicircular bay window behind which Carlisle's study was located. I smiled wryly, noticing the red geraniums planted in the flowerbed underneath it. They were the same flowers Edward and I had found ourselves standing amidst when we overheard the conversation that would change our lives and shape our futures. In a way, it was that conversation that had brought me here today…

I hadn't realized I'd moved until I stood in front of the door, the echo of my hand letting the huge brass knocker come down on the thick oak of the door snapping me out of my reverie.

I must have looked like some kind of soaked through vagabond who'd hid out in the forest for weeks as I stood in front of her but, much to her credit, Alice never as much as pulled a muscle as she saw me standing in front of her. "You're here! Finally," she squealed, almost pulling me into a hug but thinking better of it at the last moment when she noticed my waterlogged appearance.

"My car got stuck in the mud so I had to walk all the way down here," I blurted out. "Do you think Jasper will be able to pull it free again?"

"I think so," she answered, grinning wickedly. "I bet you're glad we brought that big ass car of mine now, aren't ya?"

I couldn't do anything but nod in agreement. "Is Edward home?" I asked, wrapping my arms around my body against the cold.

Alice nodded. "He's in his dad's study. I'll go tell him you're here."

And just like that she disappeared, leaving me out on the doorstep debating on whether to go in or stay outside where it was safe. Safe and cold.

I could faintly hear a door opening and shutting, muffled voices drifting into the room from a room further into the house. The voices got louder as the door opened again shortly afterwards, the sound of Jasper complaining to his wife about having to go out into a torrential downpour to dig my car out of six feet of mud soon becoming clear enough to cause me further embarrassment.

"….but it's raining, Alice!" Jasper groaned as he and Alice appeared from the door I knew lead to the study, Alice dragging her husband behind her like a dog on a leash.

"I know that, honey," Alice answered, rolling her eyes in my direction as if to excuse her husband for his stupidity, "but wouldn't it be fun to explore the woods in the rain? A little rain never hurt anyone!"

I smiled apologetically as he came into my line of vision, a little relieved when he just shrugged and rolled his eyes in reply while his wife rambled on. "And I thought you'd like getting to use the car for anything else but driving. You're always nagging at me about how I don't need a big, powerful car like that when I'm cruising around town."

"Not particularly," Jasper groaned, though he was already halfway in changing his expensive looking fine leather brogues for a pair of more weather-friendly Wellington boots.

"You're not going to be difficult throughout our walk, are you?" Alice scowled, slipping her feet into a pair of stylish pink and white polka dot rubber boots, as she almost poked my eye out with a matching umbrella. "I hate it when you keep moping around on me."

"Then don't make me go out in the fucking rain," Jasper moped, but his wife had already shifted her attention to me by that time.

"You know your way around this place, right?" she asked, continuing only after I nodded. "We'll leave you to it then. Just…..try to be patient with him, Bella."

"I'll try." I smiled bitterly. My patience had worn thin after what had happened this morning but I guess I could give the bastard a minute to explain himself before I laid into him.

I still stood there long after I'd heard Jasper and Alice pull out of the driveway, trying to gather enough courage to move but – for the moment – failing miserably.

"Oh, come on, Bella! You didn't drag your way through the mud just to chicken out at the last hurdle." I hissed at myself, the sound echoing back at me alarmingly loud through all the marble in the foyer. "Move your damn but!"

My little pep talk must have helped because, little by little, I found myself shuffling in the general direction of the study, the door still slightly ajar when I got there.

"Edward?" I called out, pushing it all of the way open to reveal a room bathing in what light the overcast skies would let in.

His back was turned to me, half his body shielded by the huge desk sitting in the middle of the room as he stared out of the window.

"Edward?" I repeated after God knew how much time had gone by in absolute and heavy silken.

"What the hell are you doing here, Bella?" he growled, his body slowly turning towards me to reveal that same cruel smile I'd seen on him before. "I thought I made it pretty clear that I don't want anything more to do with you."

"I said we needed to talk, but you ran away from me before I could actually get a word in so I'm here to try again," I stated, trying to remain as reasonable and patient as I could.

"Don't bother," he sneered. "It's not like you could come up with something new."

And that was when my patience ran out, my hand clawing at the nearest object I could throw at him.

"Fuck you, Edward!" I yelled, the book I threw at him barely missing its target and careening against the wall in a loud smack. "Why do you always have to be such a damn jerk!"

"Oh, I don't know…Maybe because you turn me into one?" He chuckled darkly, making me want to slap him…kill him…._kiss him_.

"I was scared, okay?"

"Yeah, sure you were." His voice was dripping with sarcasm as his eyes shot stinging darts of anger into me. "The great Bella Swan, who's afraid of no-one."

"I _am_ afraid," I stated, my voice unsteady with emotion. "In fact, I'm fucking terrified of getting my heart broken again. So much so that I used Jake as a way to keep you at arm's length so that you couldn't come close enough to hurt me again."

I could see the exact moment when the dots connected in his head, because all of a sudden his anger deflated, making him seem wary and…. vulnerable. "Bella…." He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose in a way that could have either signaled unease or frustration. "God, you can be so fucking dense sometimes."

I guess I had my answer.

"What?" I yelled, my anger flashing hot through my blood again. "Then, if you're so smart all of a sudden, you probably won't mind enlightening me on why it is that I'm so fucking stupid?"

Edward's hands lodged into his hair as he seethed at me, making my treacherous body react to him instantly and violently. "Because – dammit Bella," he groaned, the sexy, husky sound of his voice shooting arrows of lust through my anger. "Can't you see? Even the thought of hurting you makes me want to run as far and fast as I fucking can, just to keep you safe. And I know we both would be better off if I did….but I can't. "

The intensity of his gaze kept me spellbound; my heart pounding and my blood singing a tune it hadn't sang in almost ten years. A tune I thought it had forgotten long ago. "Y-you c-cant?" I finally managed to stammer. "W-why?"

He seemed to be hesitant, his eyes showing a flash of uncertainty while his chest expanded and constricted with his heavy breaths before they settled back upon me with a desperate kind of certainty. "Because I fucking _love_ you!"

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_**There you have it. ;-)**_

_**A lot of things happened in this chapter. Did they come as a surprise to you? And what do you think Bella's reaction to Edward's declaration is going to be? **_

_**I want to wish everyone a very happy Christmas filled with lots of love, warmth and wonderful food. **_

_**I will be posting a visual teaser for the next chapter on the twilighted thread in a few hours so drop by if you're eager to find out what's going to happen next or just of you want to share in the theories, look at the creepy Aro-picture or just hang out. **_

_**The link to the thread is: (dot)net/forum/viewtopic(dot)php?f=44&t=13706**_

_**Follow me on twitter for updates on my writing and everything else. I'm missbaby25 over there. **_

_**Loved it? Hated it? Please let me know. Reviewers get teased…..**_


	26. Chapter 26

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. I am in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise, I just use their creations to have my wicked way with them. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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_**This story wouldn't be what it is without my wonderful beta, **_**The Real Teacher**_**, holding my hand, correcting my many errors and talking me down from the ledge when I'm this close to deleting a chapter. Thank you so much!**_

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_**My dear friend Ange de l'Aube made an amazing banner for this story. It and some pictures and other stuff can be found at the twilighted thread for Absolution (www . twilighted . net / forum / ?f=44&t=13706&p=1167881#p1167881 ) as well as on her website (http : / angedelaube . wordpress . com /2010 /12/27/absolution-by-miss-baby /) . I cannot thank her enough.**_

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**- 25 -**

"Edward," Alice sighed. "Don't you think you're overreacting just a teensy tiny bit?"

I rolled my eyes, catching the refection of my own gesture in the window as I stared out of the window. "Stay out of this Alice. I mean it."

I knew that the chances of her actually listening to me were slim to none, but I wanted to have the words out in the open anyway. "And no: I'm not overreacting. The woman invented a boyfriend just to keep me at arm's length, for heaven's sake! Am I just supposed to hop and skip over that as if none of that shit happened?"

This had been my general state of mind ever since I'd stormed out of the Swan's house last night. At first anger had overpowered everything else, making me hack my way through the woods in a mad rage until I finally arrived back home in the dead of night, looking like nature had thrown up all over me.

It was only when I'd stood in the shower, the warm streams washing away the dirt, sweat and cold, that other feelings started to seep in.

Disappointment.

Repulsion.

_Hope. _

Hope had been an unexpected sentiment among all of the negativity that had kept me company throughout the sleepless night. But try as I might, I couldn't quite ignore it because, as angry and disappointed as I was with Bella's behavior and dishonesty, the falsehoods she'd tried to feed me also made me see every conversation I'd had with her in a new light; a light that opened the door to her reciprocating at least some of the feelings I'd had for her from the very start.

She and the dog were no longer together and, though she may have been unwilling to cue me in on that very important piece of news, it did mean that Bella, right now was a free woman.

_Free for me to pursue. _

"She's really sorry about how this whole thing played out," Alice spoke as if she'd read my mind. "She never wanted you to find out the way you did and really…I had to work very hard to keep her from running after you last night,,,"

"She came after me?" _At least that was something….._ "Why did you stop her?"

Alice let out a loud snort. "Seriously, Edward? I thought you wanted my help in getting the two of you back together again, not replay history for old time's sake."

Once again, Alice had a point.

"Anyway, I think the two of you need to sit down and have a good, old-fashioned talk about this instead of trying to run each other off the road."

I cringed, remembering the way I'd acted earlier that morning as Alice went on. "Who knows? If you can keep your cool long enough to actually do some wooing, she may decide you're not such an asshole after all."

"Fuck you, Alice!" I spat, wondering why I'd allowed her to weasel her way into my love life anyway. "I'm not the one who let it get this far! She…"

"Yeah, yeah." Through the reflection I caught Alice rolling her eyes dramatically. "And then you stormed out like a fucking toddler. I swear at times my little Jack acts more grown up than you and….."

I frowned, my eyes zoning in on the driveway as a lone and completely soaked figure started to emerge from the forest as my ears started to zone out. "Bella."

"What?" I hadn't realized I'd spoken her name out loud until Alice stopped her incessant diarrhea of words.

I scowled, the outline of a determined and pissed off looking Bella now as clear as day as she stomped across the yard, her steps taking her right up to the front door. "We have a visitor."

"Bella's here?" Alice squealed, almost pushing me out of the way in her hurry to get to the window. She elbowed me in the ribs, a gesture that was no doubt meant to be conspiratorially but ended up just being annoying and slightly painful. "I bet she's here to talk to you."

I snorted. "I bet she is." Though I had a feeling it wasn't in the kind of conversation Alice was thinking off.

Alice scowled at me, her efforts to look imposing with her hand on her hip and her eyes pulled into angry little slits falling flat on the way I had to almost duck to look her in the eye. "Be-have," she snarled, her nails pricking into my chest with every syllable, before turning on her heels and heading for the door.

"Hey Cajun. You might want to put a leash on your wife before she sticks her nose so deep into other's people's business it's going to get cut off," I grumbled in Jasper's general direction.

"I'm staying out of this," Jasper stated from his position on the sofa in the corner of the room where he had been immersed in one of the ancient bound editions in my dad's library. If it wasn't for the turning of a page or a slight sniff or cough, one might forget the guy was actually in the room. "And don't call me Cajun."

I couldn't get a word in before Alice stormed back into the room. "Bella's here, she soaked to the bone and she wants to talk to you," she barked, daring me to turn a cold, wet woman from my doorstep. "So Jasper and I are going out for a walk while you and Bella have that talk."

"Alice!" I growled.

"We are?" Jasper frowned. "I thought you said rain was God's way of telling us to stay in and get cozy."

Alice merely glared at me before completely taking her husband by surprise by grabbing his hand and dragging him up and after her like a fucking lap dog. "Not this time," she huffed. "This time He is telling us to go out and do a good deed. Bella's car got stuck halfway down the driveway and you're going to use my car to get it out."

I couldn't help but smile, even in spite of all the rage that was burning its way through my system at that moment. _That explained why Bella had looked like she'd pitched a fight against Mother Nature and lost. _

I could hear Alice and Jasper bickering, their voices muffled by the distance and the rain as they sometimes mixed with the husky sound of Bella's voice.

My body's reaction to it was imminent and though my anger was still present and overpowering, it now had to do battle with the baser feelings inside of me.

The ones that wanted.

The ones that lusted.

The ones that needed to possess…

The ones that were focused on the soft sound of footsteps moving shuffling across the marble tiles as they moved closer and closer to where I was.

I cursed those feelings, my body turning away from the sound and out towards the cold and wet outdoors before I could give myself away.

"Edward?" I sighed, hearing her voice call out to me. I couldn't deny the pull in her voice, though I could pretend for a little while that I did.

_The battle hadn't even started yet and here I was, already losing the war._

"Edward?" she repeated, a small hint of annoyance seeping into her voice.

It was just what I needed to get my head straight and my dick down again. "What the hell are you doing here, Bella?" I growled, slowly turning towards her now that I was back in command over my own body. "I thought I made it pretty clear that I don't want anything more to do with you."

She looked every bit as annoyed as she'd sounded, her hand on her hip in a gesture of fake confidence as she looked at me. "I said we needed to talk, but you ran away from me before I could actually get a word in so I'm here to try again."

"Don't bother," I chuckled darkly, trying to shoot holes in that damned attitude she was sporting. "It's not like you could come up with something new."

I was barely able to duck out of the way before my dad's first edition of _The Catcher in the Rye_ flew past my head. _Fucking hell! She'd really lost her mind this time!_

I was still reeling from her sudden attack when she launched another one, though this time sticking to words – thank God. "Fuck you, Edward! Why do you always have to be such a damn jerk!" she cried.

It could have been me but her voice was starting to sound a little desperate. _Almost as if she was getting close to tears. _

It _could_ just have been me, though. Bella Swan had a throw in her that would have made Major League scouts sit up and take notice if she hadn't been sporting a pair of tits instead of a dick.

"Oh, I don't know," I jested, rolling my eyes at her amateur dramatics. "Maybe because you turn me into one?"

"I was scared, okay?" Her voice was labored and hoarse as she half-whispered her explanation, her eyes pleading with me to take this and be satisfied.

But I wasn't.

It wasn't enough.

It would never be enough.

"Yeah, sure you were." I went on. "The great Bella Swan, who's afraid of no-one." Speaking the words I felt as much like an asshole as he probably thought I was. _But I wasn't going to be the first one to give in. Not with what's at stake here. _

"I _am_ afraid," she admitted, her anger deflating like a soufflé that had been disturbed before it could rise to its full potential. "In fact, I'm fucking _terrified_ of getting my heart broken again. So much so that I used Jake as a way to keep you at arm's length so that you couldn't come close enough to hurt me again."

I closed my eyes, not knowing whether to feel hope because apparently she thought herself to be in danger of losing her heart to me, or anger and disappointed because she'd lied to me to prevent it.

The more I thought about it, though, the more my sadness started to take over as I realized that for all my hard work, trying to win her over, I'd achieved nothing.

Not. A. Damned. Thing.

She was still living in the past.

She didn't trust me and I was beginning to wonder if she ever would.

She wanted to keep her distance.

We were back to square one.

"God you can be so fucking dense sometimes!" I groaned, the words leaving my mouth before I could stop them.

Why could she not see that I would never hurt her – never again – and that the thought alone made me want to kill myself just to spare her misery?

Why could she not see that the look on her face when she told me what it had been like for her in those woods would haunt me maybe even more than it did her?

Why could she not see that I fucking _loved_ her, with my whole flawed and rotten heart?

"What?" she yelled, mistaking my pain for jest. "Then, if you're so smart all of a sudden, you probably won't mind enlightening me on why it is that I'm so fucking stupid?"

My hands fisted my hair, pain shooting through my scalp as I tore at the roots to keep myself from doing something I'd regret. "Because – dammit Bella! Can't you see? Even the thought of hurting you makes me want to run as far and fast as I fucking can, just to keep you safe. And I know we both would be better off if I did….but I can't. "

There.

The words were out.

A strange sense of calm washed over me as my heart overrode my head, speaking straight from its bleeding, fearing core.

Only to be met with the one sentiment it feared almost as much as rejection.

Incredulity.

Because apparently my love for her was something that could not be believed to be real.

Like a fucking unicorn.

"Y-you c-cant?" Bella stammered, her eyes widening with disbelief as he hand clasped her chest to protect herself from my unwanted advances. "W-why?"

I swallowed hard before speaking the words that would either finally make her see what it was that I was offering her or run away from me forever. "Because I fucking _love_ you!"

My words lingered in the air long after they were spoken, making the silence heavy and painful.

There.

I'd said it.

The words – and my heart – were out in the open, for her to do with as she pleased.

But she did nothing.

For seconds….minutes….hell, it may even have been hours, she remained silent while the rain kept ticking against the window frames, an audible reminder that time was ticking away.

"Say something," I begged. Because even the worse I dreaded hearing were better than this God-awful silence right now.

She refused to look at me, her eyes trained to her feet and the water stains she'd left on the parquet floor on her way in. "I-I…." she started, her hair shielding her face as she stumbled through her words.

"_Please_." I wasn't above begging at that point, though I couldn't quite decide what it was that I was begging for.

Just an end to all of this – whatever 'this' might have meant.

"You…y-you…. _love_ me?" she finally stammered, looking at me as if I'd just come out and told her I was having transgender surgery.

I nodded, my heart pounding in my chest as I tried to keep looking at her though every bone in my body told me to look away. "Is that really so hard to believe?"

She frowned. "Yeah….no….I don't know."

"That wasn't quite the reaction I was hoping for," I snorted, trying to mask the pain that stabbed through my chest upon being told the woman I loved thought that idea so ridiculous she didn't even want to entertain the notion of it.

"I'm sorry," she muttered, her cheeks darkening even further with embarrassment. "It's just….I don't know. You l_ove_ me."

This time incredulity had made place for something else. It was almost like she was tasting the words on her tongue; trying them out for size. "I do," I answered, as calmly as I could.

Right then, for some strange reason, word vomit took over, making me blurt out all kinds of sappy confessions I never would have made if I'd had my wits about me. "I love you so much that it's hard for me to breathe when you enter a room; in fact I'm finding it hard to do anything else but look at you and want you and curse myself for being such a stupid ass."

I took a step closer, crossing the safe barrier the desk had formed between us as I went on "I love you so much that even the idea of you in the arms of another man makes me sick to my stomach."

I closed my eyes, my voice shaking with emotion as I took another few steps, almost closing the gap between us. "The thought that another man has touched you – had his fucking _hands_ on you – is driving me mad…"

I squeezed my eyes shut, my hands fisting in my hair as my body welcomed the pain my actions caused. "And the worst thing is that I have no one but myself to blame for that. _I_ ruined things. _I _drove you away. And now_ I_ have to find a way to live with the consequences."

She blushed, her hands fidgeting with the sleeve of her soaked shirt as her lip turned white from being jammed between her teeth. "I'm sorry."

I sighed. "Don't be. It's not like you did anything wrong."

She looked at me, so fragile and uncertain it broke my heart. "I lied to you, Edward. I don't know where you stand on that, but in my book that's about as wrong as you can get. But please know that I never set out to hurt you….."

"You only wanted to protect yourself," I finished, vainly thinking saying the words would make them less painful than hearing them. She blushed, confirming my statement by hiding behind her wet chocolate hair again.

"Billy had a picture of the two of you sitting on his mantelpiece. I walked straight into it when I entered the house." I'd wanted to break something when I looked at the two of them together. They looked so carefree and happy together, his arm draped across her shoulder and both of them smiling at each other. So unlike the way she was when she was with me. "You looked very…..happy."

She looked up, her eyes widening when my words registered only to dull to a strange kind of sadness as she sighed. "I wasn't."

I frowned. "Huh?"

"Happy," she explained with a shrug. "Being with him….it was everything I should have wanted in life….but it wasn't. Because…well…."

Bella looked anywhere but at me as she struggled to find the words. "I mean, he is. It's just….he wanted things from me that…I guess…I couldn't give."

I frowned, all sorts of scenario's of that involved S&M basements and random acts of depravity flashing through my mind. "He _what_?"

Bella laughed at me. "Calm down, Edward. It's nothing like you think! His only crime was that he wanted to move our relationship to the next level."

I must have looked as brainless as I felt because after Bella was done rolling her eyes at me she elaborated. "He wanted marriage, commitment…the whole shebang."

"And you couldn't give that to him," I mused, testing the words on my lips to try and find out where that left us.

"No," she whispered, driving me near the brink of insanity when she nervously licked her lips. "I tried to…you know…" I was insanely thankful for the fact that she seemed to want to avoid using the words 'love' and 'Jacob Black' in one sentence. "…but it never really worked."

"It didn't?" My voice didn't come out as cool and collected as I'd hoped. In fact, it sounded pretty damn hopeful and needy. _Weren't girls supposed to want all that marriage and commitment and babies kind of shit?_

She shook her head, her voice just as broken and needy and fucking unsteady as mine was when she whispered her answer. "I found out my heart wasn't mine to give away."

"It wasn't?' My voice sounded awfully shaky as my heart pounded in my chest, hoping against hope, better judgment and whatever kind of karma shit I had stacked up against me that she really meant what I thought she meant.

Her eyes were honest and blurred with unshed tears as they caught mine, her voice barely registering above a whisper as she went on. "It's yours….It's always been yours."

"Bella." I'd crossed the remaining distance between us in a heartbeat, my whole being screaming out to touch her. I needed her in my arms – close to my heart – to find confirmation of the words that had just been spoken.

"Please," she managed to whimper, right before my lips crashed into hers, the force of our two bodies colliding together locking her flush between me and the wall.

Right where I wanted her.

"Anything," I breathed, only removing my lips from hers long enough to pant out a reply before I leaned back in, drunk and desperate for another taste of sweet, sweet Bella.

She returned fire with fire, the need speaking out of the way her hands clawed at my clothes only kindling the flames that were stirring inside of me; the hunger to conquer and surrender, explore and be discovered, possess and be possessed.

Taking notes from the soft sounds erupting from Bella's lips I brushed my tongue over her bottom lip, giving her the chance to accept or deny. _Please don't deny….._

I didn't know what I expected, but when a low groan reverberated through her body, her mouth opening eagerly to grant me access as her tongue met mine in a dance that soon turned into a struggle for power and fulfillment, I felt like I'd died and gone to heaven. _She wanted this as much as I did. _

_She needed this as much as I did. _

Emboldened by her enthusiasm I freed one hand from its hold on Bella's waist and let it wander over her body, first exploring the gently curve of her ass before allowing it to slowly creep up her back and curve round to the perfect slope of her breast.

Bella moaned, her nipple hardening under my touch as I brushed my thumb over the wet layers of clothing standing between me and her perfect body, her hips gyrating against mine bringing me to the brink of fucking insanity.

_I had to have her._

_Right here._

_Right now. _

I ground into her, pushing her body even further into the wall as I gave and took the friction I was in such dire need of as our kisses started to grow in heat and intensity, absorbing the moans of pleasure that slipped through as we both fought the need for air with our desire.

"Fuck!" I gasped, my hand hitching behind Bella's leg and pulling her up against me, her heat radiating through two layers of denim as it came into contact with my rock hard cock.

Bella's eyes closed as he she tilted her head backwards, inadvertently banging it against the wall. "Yes," she moaned, clasping her other leg around my waist and using her hold to grind her covered pussy into my erection.

I couldn't help but agree with her.

I threw my head back, closing my eyes to relish the sensation of Bella's body against mine for a few moments as our hips kept rolling against each other, the electricity between us driving us further and further into the unknown.

It was amazing.

I'd dreamed of actions like these taking places ever since my first wet dream but even in my wildest fantasies I'd never been able to come up with anything that even felt remotely like this.

The sounds of lust, the smell of arousal, the overwhelming need to possess. It took hold of me, driving me right up to the brink and I knew that if I kept this up I was going to cum in my pants like a fucking twelve year old boy who's just seen his first pair of live titties.

Fortunately, judging from the frantic movements she made, Bella wasn't in a much better state, her arms flailing wildly in an attempt to find something solid to anchor her body to the earth with, sending books crashing to the ground as they went.

"Edward," she gasped, her eyes opening up again and boring into mine as one of her hands fisted in my hair, pulling me closer to her face. "For fuck sake: stop thinking and kiss me."

And there it was again, the push and pull that seemed to dictate every interaction between us.

_Love, hate and everything in between. _

I growled, eliciting another moan from her lips as I forcefully pushed my pelvis into her heat but complying with the lady's request none the less, her sweet taste invading my system once again as I kissed her hard, my hands clasping hers above her head as her legs closed around my hips, pulling the two of us even closer together.

"Ouch!" Bella groaned, her eyes tightening with pain as she banged her head against the wall once more making me realize that, though I wanted nothing more than to stay like this forever, I needed to sort out this shit before Bella would suffer a concussion.

"Let's get you somewhere more comfortable." I grinned, locking my arms around her back as I strode to my dad's desk. "Much better," I chuckled as I stood back after depositing her on the smooth leather lining of the antique piece of furniture.

And it was. With the light streaming in from the windows she looked like a nymph in a _Waterhouse_ painting

A very wet nymph, though.

"You're shaking." I cursed myself and my lust for having overseen her predicament until now.

She shrugged. "I'm cold."

"You look hot enough to me," I chuckled, rubbing my hands along her arms to warm her up.

"Asshole!" She rolled her eyes, swatting my hands away with a half-hearted kind of annoyance. "Are you always going to be like this?"

"Only when you deserve it," I grinned back, loving how she still reacted so strongly to seeing that stupid little half-smirk of mine. Her eyes widened, her lips parted and her breath started to get shallower as she looked at me_. Lovely._ "Now please shut up so that I can kiss you again."

She rolled her eyes at me again but leaned in none the less. "I guess you did say that magic word."

I chuckled. "Oh, honey, I haven't even come close to saying any kind of words of magic yet."

"Insufferable," she growled, playing angry though I could see her lips part, her tongue slipping over them to wet them as she panted for breath.

"And you fucking love it!" I crooned, chuckled as I felt her shiver, knowing pretty damn sure that it wasn't from the cold.

She bit her lip, the understated sexiness in her innocent gesture making me groan as she stood on her tiptoes, her lips pulling into a small smile as she noticed the effect she was having on me before she parted them slightly and brushed them over mine. "Why don't you start saying some of those magic words now?" she purred, her small hands gliding over my chest as she held on to me. "Because, you know….it's not nice to keep a lady waiting…."

"Whatever the lady wants," I purred before claiming her lips with mine again. A low grumble stirring up in my chest as Bella's hands weaved their way back into my hair again, the need to be with her – make her mine – growing until it became all but unbearable and my hands started to peel back the soaked fabric of her shirt on their own volition.

Bella moaned, her legs wrapping around my hips again, pulling me closer, as my hands slid up past her ribs, her breasts, her clavicle until finally they stumble upon the great dilemma a closed neckline offers to a horny man: break a pretty damn amazing kiss or get the girl naked.

In the end the long term advantage of nakedness won out and I detached my lips from Bella's just barely long enough to lift the heavy, waterlogged fabric over her head and throw it somewhere behind me, a loud smack breaking through the silence when it landed in a heap on the floor.

"Can I…." I started, my hands awkwardly waving at the one barrier that separated me from perfection.

Bella shrugged, hiding the uncertainty that lay naked in her eyes behind that shield of sarcasm that I'd come to know so well. "Sure. Knock yourself out."

I chuckled, shaking my head to let her know I was on to her as my hands reached around her, her heart hammering through her chest as I fumbled with the clasps that held her bra together. I breathed a sigh of relief when finally, after what could have been an eternity, the tension on the satiny lilac garment subsided and the delicate straps slid off her shoulders, slowly baring her body to me.

Instead of giving in to my urge to look down, my eyes shot up to catch Bella's, making sure she was still okay with this before I slowly let them glide over her body, hungrily drinking in the beauty of the woman I love. "You're….you're beautiful," I breathed, blushing slightly at my own awkwardness.

One of my hands reached out tentatively to brush along the cool skin of Bella's shoulder, brushing her hair out of the way before following the hard line of her clavicle before dipping into the slope between that line and her shoulder, her skin breaking out in goose bumps as I slowly dragged it down to the puckered pink tips of her breasts. "So beautiful."

Bella's cheeks took on a vibrant deep maroon color as she lowered her eyes in embarrassment. "Um, thanks…I guess."

I lifted her chin with the tip of my right index finger, forcing her to look me in the eye. "I mean it, Bella. I've never….."

I growled, wondering why my usual cockiness had suddenly deserted me. I should have been able to do this, right? I mean, I wasn't exactly a virgin. Still, I'd never felt like this. I'd never felt so….inadequate. But I guess that was just the difference between them. Those other women might have been a lot of things…_but they weren't Bella_.

Bella's eyes pulled into a frown, my silence obviously feeding her uncertainty. "What is it, Edward?"

I sighed, dropping my head on her bare shoulder. "I've never felt like this before, Bella, and it makes me feel so weird, so…..I don't know how to do this." I looked back at her, feeling even more vulnerable than I had when I confessed my love for her.

Her brown eyes gazed back at me with a softness and understanding that nearly broke my damned heart. "I know," she whispered, trailing her hands over my chest, the slight scratch of her nails pulling me slowly out of the funk I was in. "And I don't know either, but…."

She bit her lip, her blush returning with a vengeance as she smiled mischievously. "I guess we could learn together?"

I groaned, my dick throbbing with a need to bury itself inside her as I rested my forehead against hers. "You will be the death of me one day, Bella Swan."

"Oh, I hope not!" she cooed, her little fingers setting to work on the buttons of my shirt. "I have plans that kind of involve you sticking around for quite some time."

I chuckled before leaning in and kissing her with a renewed fervor as she all but ripped my shirt from my body before tossing it behind her on the desk, her hands gliding over my back in sweet torment.

"Edward," Bella panted when finally the need for air became too great to deny. "I want you to….."

But I guess I'd never know what she wanted me to do because as Bella gazed at me through hooded eyes, the front door crashed open with a thundering echo, heralding the return of my friends. _Though my feelings towards those two at that time where somewhat less than friendly. And that was putting it lightly._

"Honey's! We're ho-ome!" Alice's voice sang through the foyer as the sounds of boots being shaken off and coats and other wet garments being hung to dry started to fill the house.

I had a feeling Alice's announcement was as much for our benefit as her own, because as happy as she may have been to know that Bella and I had come to some sort of understanding between us, I doubted she wanted to see the visible proof of it.

I had just enough time to grab my shirt and throw it around Bella's shoulders before Alice charged into the room, jokingly holding a hand in front of her eyes. "Is it safe to look?"

I rolled my eyes at her, not that she could see it. "Yes, Alice. All necessary bits are covered."

Alice's eyes widened the minute she dropped her hand and gazed at our general state of upheaval. Her arms flailed around as if she could get airborne any minute now as her voice called out shrilly. "Holy shit! Jaaaasperrrrrr!"

"What is it honey?" Jasper's voice sounded right behind her as he entered the room. I had to hand it to the guy, he was a true gentleman, because the minute he took in Bella's precarious state of half-dress he lowered his eyes to the floor, even though, with Bella frantically buttoning up a couple of buttons on my shirt, there really wasn't much to see.

Not that that didn't mean that I quickly shifted around, blocking his view of Bella – _my_ Bella.

"Well," Alice grinned. "Apparently these two aren't fighting anymore and Edward finally found a way to get Bella out of those horrible oversized sweats!"

I looked at Alice with open mouth as she started walking around a furiously blushing Bella, appraising the 'new look'. "You can really rock the whole boyfriend shirt-look, Bella," she finally concluded. "I bet you'd look amazing with a nice studded belt and a pair of matching black boots. I'd lose the jeans, though…..They're way too soccer mom."

Bella looked at me for help but all I could do was shrug as Alice started to tie the two ends of the shirt together in a knot on Bella's stomach. "Um, Alice?" She waited for Alice to be done and lift her head. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?"

"What do you think? I'm trying to sex you up, girl!" Alice scowled; looking like Bella's just asked something really silly. "Just your clothes, though," she as quick to add. "As nice as your boobs may look in that shirt, I still don't swing that way and even if I did – I think Edward may be all kinds of miffed if I moved in on his girl."

"You bet," I fake-growled, my attempts at being stern rather half-assed since I was still reeling from the fact that Alice had referred to Bella as 'my girl'.

_My Bella. _

"Now," I went on, seeing that Bella was still feeling horribly uncomfortable. "If you don't mind? I think we'll go upstairs to track down some dry clothes for Bella to wear." And with that I grabbed Bella´s hand and started pulling her towards the door, trying not to see the knowing grins Alice and Jasper were exchanging.

"Edward?" I turned to see Alice barely holding in her giggles long enough to utter five words in a sentence. "Make it snappy. Dinner is going to be on the table in half an hour. I take it Bella will be joining us?"

I looked at Bella, who barely managed a nod while she kept her eyes trained to her feet before yanking on my hand in her hurry to get out of the room.

"Well, that was interesting," I chuckled as we sped up the stairs.

"They so think we are going to have sex up here!" Bella groaned as she half-dragged me behind her onto the landing. "Yours still at the far end of the landing?" she asked, waving at the door that had been mine for as long as I could remember.

I nodded, trying to keep control of myself as Bella confidently strode into my room and plopped down on my bed. "D-d you want me to ask Alice if you can borrow something of hers?" I asked, trying not to think about the fact that Bella was sitting on my bed.

She shook her head. "Do you have a pair of sweats I can borrow or something? I have a feeling Alice's clothes are going to be kind of tight on me and well….I don't want to open the door for her to use me as a live Barbie doll anyway."

"Smart move." I grinned. "And Alice was right, by the way. You look amazing in my shirt."

"Do I?" She cocked her head at me, grinning wickedly. "I had the feeling you were liking me better _out_ of it."

I growled low in my chest, getting ready to pounce at her when she stopped me. "I think we need to talk though," she muttered, nervously biting her lip. "Before all of this starts getting out of hand again."

I pouted. "Fine, we'll talk." Of course she was right.

_But that didn't mean I had to like it. _

"Where does this leave us?" Bella spoke, her eyes once again looking everywhere but at me as her hand frantically waved between her and me.

"What do you mean?" I frowned. Did she think this was a mistake? Did she even want to be with me? "I thought I made myself pretty clear. I thought we both did…."

She looked up, a scared and vulnerable little girl. "So y-you….you m-meant what you said …..when you told me…."

I walked over to her, cradling her head in my hands, forcing her to look at me as I spoke. "Every single word was the truth." My voice was thick with emotion as I went on. "I love you, Bella, and I will wait for as long as it takes for you see that."

She looked up at me with a sad smile, leaning into my touch. "Thank you. I do love you too, Edward. I always have and think part of me always will even if…..it's just…."

I smiled back at her, turning one of my hands to caress her cheek. "You're not entirely there yet. I understand that. You've got so much going on in your life at this moment and with our past history…."

She placed a finger on my lips to stop me from speaking. "Let's just forget about that for now. I want to move forward - _with you_. You can't do that if you keep looking back."

"True," I answered, smiling as she traced her finger along my lips. "So I guess that leaves us…dating?"

"That sounds about right," Bella beamed, pulling me into a tight hug before she places a soft, lingering kiss on my cheek. "Now, can I use your bathroom for a quick shower? I think Alice was serious when she said we had half an hour to get ready and half of that has already passed."

"Help yourself to anything of mine that you want, sweetheart," I answered, brushing back a few strands of hair that had fallen into her face. "I'll go see if I can find something for you to wear."

I watched her make her way into my bathroom after I'd tossed her a clean shirt and a pair of old sweats that were still hanging around in a drawer after ten years of abandonment before I set to work straightening myself out.

As I tried to mold my hair in something that looked somewhere in the region of acceptable I tried desperately not to think about the fact that Bella was only a few feet away from me, naked and very wet.

I could feel my cock straining against the zipper of my jeans as my mind started following droplets of water as they trickled through her hair, over her face and finally down her chest where they would come to rest on those perfect pink nipples.

I groaned, my eyes involuntarily drifting in the direction of the bathroom door as I realized that my efforts to keep my thoughts PG-13 had completely failed and I was now horny as fuck and hard as a rock.

I had a feeling that giving Bella the space she needed to build her trust in me was going to be harder than I thought it was.

Literally.

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_**What did you think?**_

_**Were you surprised when Bella said it too? **_

_**Do you think it's a good or a bad thing Bella and Edward were interrupted before things could get out of hand?**_

_**I hope everyone had a lovely Christmas. I did. Though I'm going to have to put in overtime at the gym to get rid of all the extra pounds…..**_

_**Follow me on twitter for updates on my writing and everything else. I'm missbaby25 over there. **_

_**Loved it? Hated it? Please let me know. Reviewers get teased…..**_


	27. Chapter 27

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. I am in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise, I just use their creations to have my wicked way with them. No copyright infringement is intended.

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_**This story wouldn't be what it is without my wonderful beta, **_**The Real Teacher**_**, holding my hand, correcting my many errors and talking me down from the ledge when I'm this close to deleting a chapter. Thank you so much!**_

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**- 26 -**

_Can a man really change? Or would naively thinking so only set me up for future heart fail and a perpetual repetition of scenes I most desired to forget?_

These were the questions that everything depended on; the answers would make all doubts, fears and other questions magically go away.

This is what I had been telling myself since I woke up somewhere around 4 AM.

That was…..after I'd sorted out where the hell I was and why my bed was snoring all of a sudden.

I muffled my snickers in a pillow that smelled of him as Edward's deep and somewhat noisy breaths reverberated through the air.

_Edward Cullen snored. Who the hell would have thought that?_

_Not me. _

True, I'd never much thought about what kind of sleeper Edward was, really. Of course, when I was younger and thought the sun shone out of his ass I could have given the matter some thought but I'd been way too innocent back then to even contemplate anything beyond our first real kiss. Then, when I'd been of a right mind to think about sex and stuff, Edward and I had broken up and I couldn't be bothered to think about him at all let alone waste time contemplating whether or not he snored.

Well, I guessed that was about to change.

I mean, not that I was an expert or anything, but it was my own personal experience that 'dating' mostly entailed regular sleepovers at a certain point and since that was what Edward and I seemed to be doing right now, it would probably be best to invest in a bunch of earplugs if I wanted to do anything else but lie awake trying not to laugh at him.

_Or wake him up to have hot and bothered sex and incidentally kill all unwanted (but strange comical) nocturnal noises bubbling up from his throat._

Hmm. Yeah. I liked the thought of that. Not that we were anywhere near ready for that.

Or so I kept telling myself. _But really, who was I trying to fool?_

If yesterday had been anything to go by, sex with Edward would be very…._rewarding, _that was the word that sprang to mind. I still didn't know what came over me after Edward had made his declaration of love to me, but all I knew in that moment was that I had to be as close to him as I could get.

Edward had seemed more than happy to oblige and very gifted at the obliging part. I mean, if I could get that hot and bothered just from a quick boobie grope and some hot kisses, was I even going to survive actually doing the deed? I couldn't even contemplate _how_ good that would feel. _Which, come to think of it was kind of sad._

When Edward and I had gone up for the night after enjoying a quiet dinner with Jasper and Alice, there had been no thought in my mind of turning this into a sleepover. At least not one that would involve us sleeping in the same bed. Down the hall a room had been prepared for me and a nice, turned down bed was waiting for me to inhabit it.

But I'd never seen it.

I had already dressed into a pair of silky pajamas that Alice had lent me as we began saying our goodnights. Edward was still fully dressed and had invited me into his room to talk – _yes talk._ Seeing as I was nowhere near ready to say good night to him, I had happily agreed and settled in next to him for some private conversation.

It had been great and – for the most part - very platonic. .

We'd talked about everything and nothing; our lives in the ten years we'd missed, our hopes for the future, our careers and our parents…just not the hard stuff that was standing in between us. It was strange how completely relaxed and ….right I'd felt talking to him like that. It was as if the old Edward, the friend and boyfriend I'd been so crazy about for half my life, was back and with it that sense of ease and affection that I had missed ever since he left.

The last thing I remembered was thinking how nice Edward's bed felt and smelled, before waking up God knew how much later when Edward was trying to wriggle my sleepy frame underneath the covers, his arm wrapping around me and his body keeping me warm as I slipped under again, this time sleeping easy and peacefully until Edward's mouth breathing fanfare woke me up again.

I sighed sleepily, loving the softness of Alice's backup pajamas as I stretched my frame languidly along the soft blue and white sheets covering Edward's bed.

Yes. That was right. Back-up pajamas.

Alice Whitlock, bless her sweet heart, had brought not one but three different pieces of nightwear for a two-night trip.

We had a word for that where I came from: batshit.

What did she expect? Waking up in the middle of the night in desperate need of a costume change?

However, as much as I inwardly mocked the little shopaholic and her obsessive compulsive need to drag half her wardrobe along for a three day trip, I was kind of glad that she did. I mean, if she hadn't brought all of those pajamas with her I would have been forced to sleep in the buff and I had a feeling that that would be asking a bit too much of Edward's self-restraint.

_Edward._

I wouldn't have been able to stop the huge, goofy grin from creeping onto my face even if I wanted to, angling my body to get a good look at the man – my _boyfriend_ as I should probably start calling him – as he lay stretched out next to me, the sheets twisted around his upper body in a way that made him look even more like one of those Grecian statues of a young, hot God (not the ones with their man-business broken off, mind you) than his sculpted chest already did.

"Will you stop fucking staring at me?" Edward's raspy voice groaned as his body slowly started to revert back to its conscious state. "It's not a very polite thing to do, you know."

I chuckled, running my index finger along the chiseled slopes and valleys of his chest. "I thought that being in love meant that you were allowed to stare at the object of your affection? You know? The whole 'gazing lovingly into each other's eyes' crap?"

"Sweetheart," he snickered. "That's not my eyes you're staring at."

I snorted. "Isn't that supposed to be my line?"

Edward fell back, laughing out loud. "And here I was, trying to be a gentleman!"

I blushed, my heart thundering in my chest at the sight of him looking so happy and carefree. It made him look radiant, boyish and more handsome than he'd ever looked before.

It made him look like _my _Edward.

But still I rolled my eyes, trying not to let on just how much the sight of him made me ache between my legs. "Come on! You and I both know that you may be a lot of things, but a gentleman you are not!"

He pouted, one of his hands snaking out to caress my thigh as he turned his body on its side, facing me. "You wound me, my lady."

I let out a fake huff, half-heartedly swatting his hand away. "All the better! It's about time someone came along and cut that overgrown ego of yours back to size!"

He merely chuckled, his hand back and tracing a path up my thigh to my waist. "Do we have a volunteer?"

"Maybe," I shrugged, pouting slightly at the imminent failure of my attempts to be coy. Because try as I might, I had no defense against this man. _Nor, if I was being honest with myself, a real desire to defend myself. _

"Maybe?" he roared, letting his body fall back against the mattress again. "I somehow expected a bit more….enthusiasm!"

"Oh, don't be such a drama queen!" I snorted, piping down when I saw a flash of hurt beneath all of Edward's good humored jest. "Okay, okay. I will look after your ego as if it were my own, as well as any other parts of you that are attached to it. Is that good enough for you?"

"Very good," he grinned, his arm now wrapping around me and using the leverage that gave him to pull me flush against him. "I have a feeling my ego will be very safe after in your capable hands."

My eyes drifted closed as he rubbed his nose along my check, his scent overwhelming my senses and making my body flush up even more than the heat of his own frame so close to mine ever could.

He chuckled, obviously enjoying my flustered state. "As well as the rest of me," he added, brushing a few strands of hair from my face as he leaned in, slowly closing the gap between his lips and mine.

Until, of course Alice had to ruin it all by slamming her fists against the door and hollering as if the fucking apocalypse was upon us.

Evil, tricksy little hobbit.

That was twice in a twenty-four hour period that annoying little imp had cockblocked me now. I was beginning to think the pale little goblin was doing it on purpose.

"Alright you two, that's enough!" she shrieked. "Stop playing tonsil hockey and get your lazy asses out of bed! We leave in an hour whether you two are dressed or not!"

And just when I thought this couldn't get any worse, she added. "Oh and Bella, I left some clothes for you on the bed you never slept in last night."

Edward groaned, letting his head rest against my shoulder as he muttered a string of profanities under his breath. "What time is it, anyway?"

I sighed, "I think it must be somewhere around eight or nine, judging from the light."

"That late?" I frowned as Edward shot up, the sheets falling from his upper body as he furiously started rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. Eight AM on a Sunday morning didn't really register as late in my book.

"Jasper's going to fucking kill me. He wanted to head back early so that he could get some work done," he added when he caught my look. "We were supposed to be rolling up in front of your house by now."

"And believe me, you would have found nothing but a sleeping household," I chuckled. "I don't do eight o'clock on a Sunday. At least, not unless there's a promise of a _New York Times_-worthy scoop in it for me."

Edward chuckled. "You're preaching to the converted, sweetheart. But if you want to be a hero, go repeat what you just said to Alice or Jasper. They are the evil geniuses behind this plan."

I sighed, knowing that quality play-time with Edward had officially come to an end. "I'd better get dressed before I get you into even more trouble."

I was already halfway to the door when Edward's voice stopped me. "Don't I at least get a good morning kiss?" he complained.

I rolled my eyes. "Very well," I sighed, blowing him a kiss from my spot in the doorway. "Happy now?"

As I left the room, mightily chuffed at my ability to stay strong against the force of nature that was Edward Cullen I could just about hear him growl his response. "No, not at all."

I snickered as I heard a door open and close, soon followed by the sound of a shower being turned on. No doubt Edward was familiarizing himself with the pleasures his own hand could bring. _He'd better learn to love it because it was the only action he would see for some time. _

As I entered the guest bedroom I was supposed to have slept in, I slowly started to come back to my senses.

It was as if Edward had cast some kind of spell over me, the moment he'd confessed his feelings for me, because when I was with him it was as if nothing mattered except for this great, overpowering urge to _be _with him.

And it scared me to death.

I was a rational person – well, most of the time I was – who had always prided herself in her ability to not let her feelings get to her. Even when I was with Jake, I'd never let my feelings for him get in the way of my work or my education or anything else for that matter. I'd always stayed calm – _composed_ . When I was with Edward, however, all of that ceased to be. It was different.

_He_ was different.

I tried to hold on to that thought as I familiarized myself to the room I'd only been in briefly yesterday to change my clothes and call my dad (which had been a phone call that could have no other description than _awkward_) but it wasn't easy. The minute I stepped out of our lovely little bubble, all of my doubts came back with a vengeance, making me weigh everything Edward had said and done on a silver platter and come out with even more worries and question marks than I had before.

Which did not a happy Bella make.

I guess what it all boiled down to was trust. I'd always known that deep down inside my heart belonged to Edward. I might have convinced myself that the past was buried, over and done with, but from the moment he and I locked eyes inside that courtroom a couple of weeks ago, I knew that it was all just a lie I's been telling myself.

I'd never stopped loving him and I doubted at this point whether I ever could.

The only problem was that I didn't know if I could _trust_ him to take care of my heart. Because, as much as I wanted to forget the past, it couldn't just be overlooked, could it? It had happened and it had torn a wound inside my heart that had left it fragile and scarred all over. I just knew that if he'd break it again, the pieces could never be stitched back together again. It would remain broken and bleeding for as long as I lived.

Which wasn't exactly an appealing prospect.

Add that to the fact that I had no idea of what the fuck I was doing and it was a miracle I was still standing and functioning normally – or well, _sort of_ normally.

I sighed, rubbing my forehead against the onset of a killer migraine as I studied the neat pile of clothes that Alice had left form me on the bed.

_Pink? She had to be fucking kidding me. _

If they'd had any other color I might have given the comfortable, fluffy-looking sweat suit a go, even though it had the word _Juicy_ printed right over my ass (or the bony wasteland that was supposed to pass as such). _Classy, I know._

But I could never wear pink. Bella Swan _did not_ wear pink. As in ever. Not in a million years. Not even if all of the other colors in the world decided to quit and pink was the only color to be had in stores nationwide.

I'd rather go naked than wear pink.

Or fur, but that was a whole different matter.

Fortunately for me I'd had the good sense to drape my clothes over the iron frame of the bed last night which meant that they were dry enough to be worn again.

Thank God. Because going out but naked in this kind of weather would definitely not be pleasant.

And it would probably get me arrested.

By my own dad.

Who wasn't that big a fan of me at the moment anyway.

I got through the motions of a quick shower and change, making use of the hairbrush and blow-dryer that seemed to be coming with the room to make myself look as presentable as I could for the coming meeting with my dad. God knew the last thing Charlie needed to see was me pulling up in front of the parental pile with hair looking like a boy had had his hands all up in it.

He'd have his hand on this gun faster than I could talk my way out of that particular mess.

Or grab a harmonica and start whistling the theme from _Once upon a time in the West_.

My dad hadn't exactly been over the moon last night when I called him to let him know that I was spending the night at Edward's. True, he hadn't been yelling or growling or any of his usual shit, but his disappointment had been just as hard to stomach as his anger would have been. Hell, it probably would have been easier because if he'd been angry, I could have just matched his anger with my own. Parental disappointment, however, was a whole different ball game.

Not even telling him about the state of the roads or the fact that I got stuck in the mud on my way over here had been enough to sway him in the end. In fact, I was pretty sure that had it not been for Alice and Jasper's presence at the house, he would probably have driven out to come and get me himself.

And get stuck in the mud on his way up just like I had.

I made my way downstairs when I was done, trying – and failing – not to listen for sounds when I walked past Edward's bedroom on my way down as I followed the spicy scent of fresh coffee wafting in from the kitchen.

"Morning Bella," Jasper greeted me, looking up from a stack of papers piled next to his breakfast plate as I walked in, his face pulling into a grin when he caught me sniffing the air for remnants of caffeine.

Alice frowned as she watched me come in. "Thanks for the clothes," I muttered, my eyes flittering from her face to the oversized cup of coffee in her hands, "but I don't really wear pink and my clothes were dry so…."

"You don't wear pink?" Alice's frown deepened as if she'd just been confronted with one of life's great mysteries. "Why not?"

"I grew up in a town known for its logging industry and 'cut the crap'-mentality. I don't do girly stuff," I shrugged. "Never have and don't think I ever will."

"I grew up in the middle of a fucking swamp and I wear pink," Alice, who was obviously still struggling to see the logic in my argument, countered. "Besides….I think that suit would have looked really cute on you.

Which was kind of my point.

"Seriously, Alice!" I snorted. "You know I like you and stuff but do you really think I'm the kind of girl who likes having the word _juicy_ stamped on her butt?"

Jasper almost chocked in his coffee as Alice stared me down. "It was the only thing that had arms and legs long enough to actually fit you," she finally shrugged. "Plus, I bet Edward thinks your butt's juicy and nice….."

"You bet I do." His voice, coming from behind me, made my heart speed up and my face break out in its telltale blush. _And that was before I made the big mistake of turning around to see him sporting that grin I both loved and hated so much. _

"Perv!" I grumbled under my breath as I stalked over to the kitchen island where the coffee maker and an assortment of breakfast foods were waiting for me.

I could almost feel Edward's eyes as they checked out my ass, the fact that he was doing so both enraging me and wanting to throw him down on the island and screw his brains out.

_Insufferable sexy man!_

Breakfast was nice, which came as kind of a surprise to me seeing as two of the three people I shared it with hadn't been that high up on my list of favorite people a couple of weeks ago.

I had to admit that Courtroom Ken wasn't so bad once you got to know him and his wife was kind of nice as well, once you got over the fact that she was pretty damned scary when she got excited over something. But what was most important about them was that they were Edward's friends, which in itself was kind of a rare thing seeing as he'd never been known to do the whole friend thing (his words, drawn from his fifteen year old mouth, not mine), and he could relax around them.

He needed that.

Even when we were growing up Edward had always been a tense kind of person. It didn't take very much to get him all riled up and frothing at the mouth with anger (a fact Mike Newton had taken advantage of more than once) and even then his compulsiveness had meant that he's alienated more people than he befriended.

In fact. I think I was the only person in Forks who would socialize with him for the sake of _him_, instead of tolerating his nearness because of who his parents were or where they lived.

Not that I didn't like the house.

Or the parents.

It was strange, being back here after all these years with nothing really having changed all that much. The kitchen still had that cracked tile on the floor near the door where Edward had dropped a crowbar when he was seven and thought he was going to be a locksmith one day when he grew up. He'd been grounded for a week and had had to make a solemn vow never to try to pick a lock (and ruin the entire door) again.

Even _we _were still the same. Or, at least, kind of.

Yesterday when we kissed and almost….It had been so hard not to get caught up in the familiarity and urgency of it all. We were old lovers in new bodies and the fact that we could do this – that we _were_ doing this – was both exciting and frightening all at once. In that moment, when Edward's hands were drifting all over my body and his tongue caressed mine in a way I could only have imagined in my dreams…. I knew that if he had wanted to make love to me, I wouldn't have stopped him.

In fact, I might even have egged him on.

It was a good thing we didn't, though, because as much as I would have enjoyed it, I knew it was too much too soon. We'd only just bumped into one another a few weeks ago and half of the time that had passed since then had had me hating his guts. Two people should not go from hate to love in that little time.

But we did.

And it still confused the hell out of me.

Which was why I knew – even though my body might have told me otherwise – that we weren't ready to take that final step.

_I_ wasn't ready.

Though God only knew how much I wanted to.

"Bel-la!" I could see a small hand waving in front of my eyes and looked up to see Alice's bemused smile. "Gosh, girl! You looked like you were miles away."

I blushed, my eyes flittering to Edward's for a fleeting moment. "I was." He smirked back at me, causing the hotness in my cheeks to spread.

"There are people eating breakfast over here," Jasper grumbled, earning him a death glare from his wife.

"I'm just saying," he defended himself, as he folded his napkin and tossed it onto the empty plate. "We should be getting underway, anyway. It's getting kind of late and we still have to swing by Bella's to get her stuff."

I grimaced, Jasper's statement forcing me to acknowledge a reality that existed outside of this house and the separate dimension it seemed to be in.

A reality in which a lot of unfinished business stood between me and my happily ever after with Edward.

A reality in which Edward might come face to face with my dad in a very short time.

A reality in which the Volturi had killed a man for talking to me….

Still, I couldn't escape that reality for much longer, which was why another half hour found me sitting in the back of Alice's _Escalade_, tapping just about every appendage attached to my body against some kind of flat surface to get rid of my nerves as Alice deftly steered the car to my dad's home, Edward following close behind in Sue's _Daihatsu_.

I breathed a sigh of relief when we pulled up in front of the quaint looking white house, immediately noticing the absence of my dad's cruiser. "I'll be right back," I announced to Jasper and Alice. "I just need to pack my bag, but it's not like I brought much to begin with."

I could hear Edward pull up in Sue's car behind me right about the same time the front door opened and my worst nightmare came to life. _My dad, looking at Edward as if he knew just what had been going on in Carlisle Cullen's study late last afternoon._

"Chief Swan." I hadn't even heard Edward leave the car, let alone walk up to me and position his body right in front of mine, almost as if he wanted to protect me.

From my own dad.

Which might not even have been such a silly though after all, looking at the scowl on dad's face.

"Edward," dad snarled, making his name sound almost like an insult. "Mind if we talk?"

It was like one of those moments when you saw a disaster happen right in front of you but your body refused to do anything to stop it, no matter how hard you yell at it to speak or move or, well, pretty much _do something_.

Instead I just stood there, listening to Edward's calm voice as he responded. "Of course not, sir."

My eyes followed him as he walked past my dad and into the house, my body only snapping back into action when the sound of the door being shut made me realize that they were gone and that Edward, right now, was inside with my dad.

My dad who owned a gun.

I crossed the distance in next to no time at all, my body flying up the steps and through the door before I could even make a conscious decision about it, my mind only catching up when I found myself fin the kitchen panting for breath and face to face with two man who looked at me like I'd gone out of my damn mind.

"What?" I managed to gasp as my dad scowled at the sudden interruption. "Did you really think I'd leave you alone with Edward?"

My dad looked way too innocent as he held up his hands. "Don't you think that you're overreacting just a little bit, Bells? I only want to talk to the boy. Nothing more."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "I know you're lying dad. You're doing that thing where your eye twitches."

"It will be fine, love," Edward soothed, throwing the full force of his smile into the game. "Just go and get your things. Nothing bad is going to happen."

I could feel my defenses slipping under the scorching power of his gaze, his grin only widening when he caught on to my wavering resolve. _Did I mention I hated his guts?_

"He's right, baby girl," Dad chimed in, though it didn't escape my notice how his scowl deepened to synclinorial depths when Edward called me his _love_.

_Accepting, my ass!_ He was biding his time, waiting for me to leave the room before he pulled out the tweezers and slowly tortured Edward to death. But it wasn't like I could do anything to stop him. Not when the two of them were teaming up against me.

"Fine," I finally grumbled, noticing the two men were still looking at me expectantly. "But the minute one of you oversteps the line – and I'm looking at you dad – there will be hell to pay."

They both beamed back at me with a fake friendliness that almost made me gag. "I'll be in the other room, keeping my ears open for suspicious sounds," I warned as I slowly backed out of the kitchen.

Sure, they were all smiley and peaceful right now, but who the fuck did they think they were fooling? I knew that this was more of a prelude to the gunfight at the OK Corral kind of smiley and peaceful than one that would lead to my dad pouring a nice hot cup of fruity tea and the two of them braiding each other's hair while telling stories about the good old days kind of peaceful. Not that there was that much to braid in the first place. _Well, maybe my dad's freaky moustache could use some Jack Sparrow kind of embellishments…._

"That's my little girl," I could hear my dad announce proudly, before all noise coming out of the kitchen was muffled by the walls and the sounds of chairs scraping against the linoleum.

I let out a deep sigh, trying to focus on getting my stuff together as fast as I could while they were having their 'talk'. At least they were sitting down now. It would be a whole lot harder for my dad to do any lasting damage with a table between the two of them.

At least, I thought so.

I cranked up the tempo the minute I got out of range, knowing that I might not be able to shield Edward's body with my own, but at least I could make the torture – or whatever it was that my dad intended to do – last as short as I could.

I frantically reached for my bag, which was lying next to the stretcher bed, my hand already trying to snatch a sweater I knew I'd hung on one of the radiator pipes when suddenly my foot made contact with something that hadn't been there before.

A huge glass sculpture of some strange dude staring at me with a smirk as my toe yelled out at me in pain.

"Ouch!" I cried, frantically grabbing the kind of scary looking glass structure I'd just stubbed my toe on before it would crash into a thousand little pieces on the floor. "Fucking glass piece of shit!"

"Quit yelling at my art, Bella," Sue's voice sounded from underneath the cutting table, her head popping up from underneath the wood tabletop as I kept sprouting of expletives while hopping up and down on one foot. "It's not like it's done anything to deserve it." In my haste to get all of my crap together, I hadn't even realized that Sue was in the room, which wasn't so surprising considering the fact that she'd been hiding.

"It was in my fucking way!" I grumbled, snatching a few more items of clothing from the floor.

"Don't let your father hear you say stuff like that!" she chuckled, knowing full well that she wasn't exactly the kind of woman who weighed her words on a silver platter either. "And what's with the rush anyway? I'm sure Seattle's still going to be there if you arrive half an hour later than you planned."

"Are you kidding me?" I gasped. "Edward's in the kitchen with dad right now. Dad, who carries a gun, knows a fuckton of places to hide a corpse where it will never be found and who's pretty much above suspicion because he'd the damned police chief around here."

"Bella!" Sue hushed and I could see that she was trying really damn hard not to laugh at me.

Which only added more fuel to the fire.

"Oh, and did I mention he hates Edward's guts?" I called out, spotting another pair of my socks lying on the windowsill. _What the hell were they doing there?_ "I have to get back out there, Sue, before something bad happens."

"Isabella Marie Swan, sit your ass down _right now_!" Sue barked, the severity in her tone causing my body to obey her almost out of some kind of Pavlovian reaction.

"Good," Sue snapped. "Now, I know your father may not have a fancy college degree or anything but do you really think he'd be stupid enough to piss me off and risk his good relationship with you, especially after the stunt he pulled on Friday night?" She narrowed her eyes as she towered over me, her hands on her hips and her foot tapping impatiently against the hardwood floor as she waited for me to respond.

"Uhm…I guess not?" I tried, still more than a little intimidated by Sue's display of motherly kickassness. It's not like I had a lot of experience with this thing. Renee always wanted to come to decisions in mutual understanding with me, which most of the time meant that I got to do things my way as long as I made sure there was minimal government involvement and no paper trail.

"That's right," Sue nodded. "And you know why?"

She continued only after I shook my head. "Your dad may not be the best at communicating his feelings or anything, but that man loves you. He knows more than you give him credit for, Bella. He knows how important Edward has become to you and he knows that you are going to need him to keep you safe – from others as well as from yourself."

She sighed, fixing me with a red-hot glare when I tried to speak. "He's sorry about the childish way he acted the last time he and Edward came face to face and, being the man that he is, he knows he owes the boy and apology. But that's not all…"

She paused to catch her breath before she went on. "The thing is…he also knows what that boy has done to you in the past. He's had to watch his baby girl lying on the floor of the fucking forest, heartbroken and frozen half to death and I think you owe it to him to give him a chance to say his peace and let that boy know that Bella Swan is not to be messed with."

Now it was my turn to sigh. "I know."

"Do you?" she challenged me. "Because to me it looks like you just expect all of us to forgive and forget what happened just because you did."

I looked up, completely baffled by her brutal honesty. "I-I never…." I started.

"Come on, Bella," Sue snickered, shaking her head at me. "You show up here with him, all loved up and moved on, without giving us as much as a heads up. What did you expect to happen?"

She paused, giving me a pointed look, though most of the venom had evaporated from her voice. "Look, I'm not defending your dad's actions or saying you shouldn't want to be with Edward or anything, but I do know that all of this came as kind of a shock to Charlie and he's trying to deal with this the best he can. Just…let him do the 'dad-thing' and put the fear of God into your lover boy, even if it's just to let him stay in the illusion that he's still looking after his little girl. After all, it's not like he's ever going to have the chance to do this stuff with Leah….."

"Heaven forbid!" I snorted, already pitying the poor boy who'd ever find himself falling for the feminine charms (or distinct lack thereof) of my scary emo stepsister.

I turned serious again when I saw the look on Sue's face. "I guess I can see your point," I admitted with a sigh. "And I'm sorry if I put all of you in an awkward position. It just honestly…slipped my mind. I know that doesn't sound like much of an explanation but with all of the stuff going on in Seattle at the moment…"

"I understand, Bella," Sue spoke softly, sitting down next to me on the stretcher bed, one arm wrapped around me as we passed a few minutes in silence, just listening to the sounds of the birds and the washing machine whirling away in the next door laundry room.

"So, you and Edward, huh," Sue snickered after a while. "I can't say I blame you for falling for him again. He looks…."

"Hot?" I offer. "Just wait until you see him smile. He has this freaky kind of lopsided grin that should be listed as a weapon of mass destruction. It lights up his face and the space surrounding him and makes you feel all warm and tingly and…I don't know…dazzled?"

"Just take care that you don't get blinded by it," Sue warned me. "He looks like he's learned his lessons from the past but still….you can never be too sure before you give a guy your heart."

"I know," I nodded with a shy smile. "But I think it may already be too late for me. I love him, Sue, even though I'm still not completely sure if I can trust him."

"Does he know that?"

I nodded. "He told me he would wait for me to be ready and I think he meant it."

"Then don't let your feelings for him push you into doing something you're not sure about," Sue persisted. "If he is the decent guy he's claiming to be, he'll keep his word. If he gets impatient or pressures you….Well, I guess that's when you'll know he's not worth the hassle."

Sue's words lingered even as we pulled out of the driveway, Dad, Sue and Seth – who'd just rolled out of bed when we were getting ready to leave – waving us goodbye as we started our trip back to Seattle.

Edward was quiet beside me for most of the first part of the first part of the trip his arm wrapped around my waist as I reclined against his chest.

"What are you thinking about?" he asked, the outskirts of Port Angeles flying by as he played with my hair.

"What did you and my dad talk about?" I whispered as he ran his free hand up and down my arm.

"Shh," he cooed, his hand stroking through my hair as I settled my cheek against his chest. "What we spoke about is between him and me, just as it is supposed to be. Don't worry, though. Our chat was…nice."

"I know," I muttered, watching the scenery fly by as my head rose and fell with every breath he took, "and that's what has me worried."

"We just talked about our main priority," he shrugged, adding an explanation only when he saw I wasn't going to give up. "Keeping you safe."

I rolled my eyes. "It's not like I'm some kind of defenseless damsel in distress, you know."

"I know only too well," Edward answered with a deep sigh. "In fact, it's your very proclivity towards all things dangerous that made us temporarily put aside our differences to make sure you were safe."

I snickered. "So let me get this straight: you and my dad have formed some sort of unholy alliance to keep me out of harm's way? That's ridiculous!"

"We were going for sensible," Edward chuckled, though I could hear the serious undertone in his voice.

And maybe he was right.

I sighed, snuggling back into the warmth of his embrace as the scenery passed me by, hoping it would keep the nagging sense of dread from spreading as the distance between me and Seattle grew smaller and smaller.

It wasn't working, though.

Not this time.

For the best part of the weekend I might have been able to fool myself into thinking this was all going to turn out fine. I would just back away from the case and the Volturi would leave me to my own happily ever after.

The closer we got to the city, however, the sillier that notion seemed to become.

Who was I kidding? The Volturi were already convinced of the fact that I was getting too close. I knew things, I'd seen things they thought I shouldn't. I'd gotten too close….

God only knew what they were planning right now.

I dug my head deeper into the safe crook between Edward's arm and his chest as I feigned sleep while Edward and Jasper discussed some of the other cases they were working on, their law-speak sometimes interrupted by Alice chiming in whenever they were discussing suspicious behavioral patterns or something.

We split up in pairs when we made it back onto the ferry, Jasper and Alice spending some quiet husband and wife time as they stared at the romantic skyline of Seattle while I was holding onto the back railing, watching the Pacific Peninsula slowly vanish out of side as my panic grew.

"You have to let me in, Bella." I jumped as Edward's soft, velvety voice sounded next to me. In my preoccupation with life I'd all but forgotten we were standing side by side.

"I know," I whispered, my voice drowned out by the sounds of the boat and the people around us and the seagulls flying around our heads, assaulting unsuspecting passengers with huge streaks of seagull shit as they flew over.

"I'm scared, Edward," I finally admitted after a short, tense silence. "All through this weekend I've been able to forget about the Volturi but now….The thought of going back to Seattle, back to my apartment scares me half to death."

"Then don't," he answered, calm as a cucumber.

I snorted. "What do you want me to do? Sleep under a bridge or something? It's not like I could afford a fancy hotel or even a room at the Motel 8 or anything."

He turned, the intensity of his eyes as they burned into mine making me weak in the knees. "Come home with me." His words were laden with so much more than just an invitation into his house. _They were an invitation into his heart; his soul; his life. _

"You know I can't do that," I muttered, torn between my head and my heart.

Part of me wanted nothing more than to pack my bags and move in with him without ever looking back but I knew better than to give in to that part. After yesterdays heated declarations we may have entered the boyfriend/girlfriend state again, I knew we still had a lot of talking to do before we would be able to close the door on the past. Taking big steps like moving in together before that had happened wouldn't just be foolish, it could very well endanger all the progress we'd made.

"I know," he sighed. "But I had to try."

I snorted. "I guess you did. So what are your plans?"

"Plans?" He frowned, the wind sweeping his hair into a further state of disarray as the ferry drew closer to the Seattle docks.

"You know…." I hedged. "How do you see this…._us_….working out now that we are back in the city?"

"Like any other couple goes about it, I guess." He chuckled, taking his hand in mine and drawing soothing circles into my skin. "In fact...would you like to have dinner with me tomorrow night? If you're free, that is."

His eagerness to take me out and 'date' me as if we were just a normal couple getting to know each other came as a huge relief. "I'd like that."

"It's a date, then." He grinned, lifting my hand to his lips and placing a small, tender kiss while his eyes burned into mine spreading that now all too familiar warmth inside me.

I rolled my eyes, trying not to let him know how much his actions were affecting me. "Charmer!"

"And you fucking love me for it," he snickered, pulling me into a warm embrace as we watched the ferry slowly make dock.

We were both all smiles and giggles as we rejoined Alice and Jasper and spent much of the drive into Seattle in a much lighter mood. That was….until we pulled up in front of my apartment again.

"Get a move on, Cullen!" Jasper yelled out of the open passenger window as Edward and I dawdled in front of the entrance. "It's not like she's emigrating to Europe or something. You'll see her again tomorrow!"

"Mind your own fucking business, Cajun!" Edward yelled over his shoulder, flipping his friend the bird before turning his attention back to me. "Are you sure you're going to be okay?"

"I'll be fine." I sighed, hating myself for being all scared and messed up and….girly. "I bet Angela will have me out of this funk and spilling my guts about you in no time."

"That's the spirit." He grinned, pulling me into one last toe-curling kiss before reluctantly stepping away. "Call me as soon as you've settled back in."

I nodded, trying to ignore the horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach as I watched them drive away.

My feelings of dread grew with every floor I passed, the quiet and stale air inside the elevator making me break out in a cold sweat. "Just a few more minutes, Bella," I mumbled, trying to talk myself into being braver than I really was as the elevator doors slid open to reveal an eerie looking hallway. "Just a few more steps and you'll be in the living room, explaining to Angela how you were grinding yourself all over Edward's business all weekend."

But Angela wasn't there.

When I opened the door, there was nothing but silence and fading light to welcome me, the open door to Angela and Ben's bedroom proving what I already knew: I was alone.

Part of me wanted to turn right back and call for Edward to come pick me up but somehow, after taking a few deep breaths and locking the door behind me, I managed to silence that part. "You can't be a journalist and crawl under your bed every time things get tough!" I admonished myself. "You can do this, Bella."

And so I set to work, cranking my iPod up to insane levels of sound as I threw myself into cleaning my room and unpacking the bag I'd taken with me to Forks, my eyes falling almost immediately on the _Fed-Ex_ parcel still lying on my bed.

_I wonder what mom sent me this time…_

It wasn't like this was a rare occurrence. Mom would often buy stuff that reminded her of me and send it to me as a token of her affection – which had made me the proud owner of a huge seashell that took up way too much space on my desk – or send me stuff she'd grown tired but figured I – poor student that I was – could still use. _In other words: my mom was using me as some kind of waste disposal service…._

I chuckled, seeing that my mom had once again forgotten to fill in the space for the return address. _Oh Renee…_

From that moment on things started happening so fast that my mind was always one step behind in trying to catch up.

The minute my hands ripped open the package I let out a shriek, the bloodied Burberry scarf it contained falling to the floor, my body crouching down to pick it up just as I registered some movement out of the corners of my eyes.

_Angela_.

_Strange. I hadn't heard her come in. _

With my hair still falling around my face as I crouched over the stained piece of fabric, my face pulled into a horrified expression as my trembling hand hovered over the garment I called out to her, my voice as shaky as my hands. "Angela you'd better get in here because…"

The rest of the sentence stalled in my throat as I finally brushed my hair out of my face and looked straight into two blank white faces staring back at me without emotion or words or anything.

Masks.

They were wearing masks.

Just like…

"No!" I managed to gasp, my fingers scrambling to fish my phone out of my pocked and push the button connecting me to Edward as the masked figures slid forward, their robes making them look as if they were floating above the surface.

"Edward!" I shrieked, hoping that by then the call had gotten through, as one of them pushed me into the mattress while the other pulled something over my face.

And then everything went black.

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_**Yes, my dears. There be angst. And it starts right here, right now. **_

_**What do you think will happen? Will Edward find her in time? **_

_**Follow me on twitter for updates on my writing and everything else. I'm missbaby25 over there. **_

_**Loved it? Hated it? Please let me know. Reviewers get teased…..**_


	28. Chapter 28

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. I am in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise, I just use their creations to have my wicked way with them. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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_**This story wouldn't be what it is without my wonderful beta, **_**The Real Teacher**_**, holding my hand, correcting my many errors and talking me down from the ledge when I'm this close to deleting a chapter. Thank you so much!**_

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_**Surprise!**_

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**- 27 -**

There was a cautious knock on my door, followed by an even more caution pushing against the door until slowly but surely the slight, female silhouette became visible on the threshold. "Doctor Mellenberg?"

The way she deliberately called me by my real name, and not the character I assumed outside the public setting of this hospital told me she was not alone, the skittishness that seemed to dictate her every gesture, however, also told me that Heidi had learned her lesson after last week's punishment.

_Good._ I barely managed to resist the urge to laugh, reminding myself at the last moment that I was at work. _Outsiders might hear. _

"What is it, Heidi?" I therefore asked, my voice purely professional as I locked a few incriminating papers away in the top drawer of my desk. _Better not have them out in the open. _

The chance that anyone would be foolish enough to trespass into the private office of the hospital's Chief of Medicine to snoop around was very slim to say the least but over the years I'd learned that one could never be too cautious. _And with the Swan girl already knowing more than she should, caution was key._

"They need you in OR 3," Heidi announced, nervously licking her lips. "Apparently there's some problem with Doctor Farraday…."

I groaned, knowing that Doctor Farraday, scheduled for a bowel resection this morning and a kidney transplant in the 'after hours', was probably drunk, a malady that seemed to have become a returning feature in his professional career of late.

"Send him home," I growled. "Get Doctor Malachy to babysit him, put him on a saline drip and make sure that he's sobered up enough for tonight's procedure. We need this to go off as planned or God knows we're going to have a riot on our hands!"

She nodded. "Should I have them call in a replacement?"

"Who's on call?" I frowned, my mind taking stock of the Volturi members and their specializations.

"I believe it's Doctor Craven," Heidi replied timidly, knowing as well as I did that, capable as Doctor Craven might have been, he would do us no good as far as tonight's plans were concerned.

"Call him in to take over Farraday's cases for today," I sighed, pulling my glasses from my nose to rub my tired eyes. I guess at my age it was only natural for the strain of my extracurricular activities to start catching up with me. "And make sure Malachy knows that I'm holding him personally responsible for Dwight Farraday's ability to wield a scalpel tonight."

Heidi nodded her head to indicate she'd understood what I told her. "Will that be all, sir?"

The way she kept hopping from one leg onto the other annoyed me to no end. I could understand why she would be nervous in my presence – especially after last week – and to some extent I greatly enjoyed seeing her so humble and weary in my presence, but right now the girl was overdoing it.

As far as I was concerned, fear might have been attractive in a woman, blind panic, however, was not.

I sighed, knowing that for now I had no other option than to stick with her for the time being. "Send in my eleven 'o clock appointment," I answered. "And be ready to service me when they leave."

Sure enough, a small smile broke through at the unexpected honor of being called upon. "It is my pleasure to serve you, _Dominus_," she whispered, barely loud enough for me to hear, before inclining her head and backing out of my office.

I smiled, folding my hands behind my head as I listened to the scurry of activity outside the door.

It was an honor indeed.

Usually I would think twice before accepting a woman I'd so graciously shared with my subordinates to come anywhere near me again; a woman once tainted was tainted forever and I wasn't so hard up that I had to make so with other people's sloppy seconds.

Right now, however, circumstance called for another approach.

Training a new _famula_ to see to my every need and anticipate my desires even before I could think of them took time and effort and, with the Swan girl almost within my reach, I found myself unwilling to go through the tedious training of some inferior young woman only to discard her the minute my ultimate goal shifted into reach.

No, that would not do.

I pulled myself out of my thoughts as my eleven 'o clock meeting walked into the room. Tedious as my day would be, I was a necessary evil to maintain the only lifestyle that had ever held any appeal to me.

The lifestyle of the Volturi.

**- x-**

"Deeper," I remonstrated her. "You know you can take me much deeper than that!"

I groaned, feeling the tip of my cock hitting the back of her throat, a delightful gagging sound telling me how much she was trying to please me.

And, had it not been for the unfortunate interruption of my telephone, she would probably have succeeded.

"Sit down and wait," I ordered Heidi, pointing at the settee in the far corner of the room as I quickly recomposed myself and straightened out my clothes before I answered the call.

_Marcus_. What on earth did he want?

Unlike Caius, Marcus was a very calm, patient and composed person, his temperament perfectly fitting for his chosen profession. Over the years he had proven his value to me as often as Caius had, which was why he – like Caius – held the office of _princeps _and had the privilege of contacting me directly if the occasion called for it.

"Marcus," I spoke in greeting, my voice clipped with the frustration of unfulfilled needs. "To what do I owe the unexpected pleasure of your call?"

"They are on their way back," Marcus spoke in the hushed tone he always used when members of his family were close by. "They should be in Seattle somewhere around four."

"Thank you for notifying me." I was unable to keep my chagrin out of my voice. I did not care for being disturbed for trivialities such as this and he knew this. Which made me wonder…. "Was that all?"

"No, _Dominus_," Marcus' apologetic voice immediately responded. He must have picked up on my annoyance. "I fear we may have underestimated what they are capable off."

"What?" I snarled, the hesitance in his voice slowly making me lose my composure.

"They spoke to Billy Black while they were in Forks," Marcus went on. "In fact, I believe that was the purpose of their visit….."

"Billy Black?" The name rang a bell.

"He was the chief investigating detective on the Bree Tanner case," Marcus was quick to explain."

I growled, now remembering the man all too well. "I thought we took care of him?"

"We did," Marcus answered.

"Then why is he still being a pain in our backsides?" I challenged him.

"He kept his notes, apparently," Marcus went on, the tone of his voice making me assume that we were close to getting to the core of the matter," notes he shared with Cullen and Swan over the weekend. The hospital was mentioned and…."

"Thanks for letting me know," I managed to respond, before breaking the connection and swiveling my desk chair so that I could look out of the window. I knew what I needed to know and through that I could only come to one conclusion: the time to act had come.

Sighing I turned back around to pick up my phone, rifling through my list of contacts until I reached the name I needed. "Caius?" I barked, the minute my trusted _princeps_ picked up. "It is time."

"Finally," he muttered.

"Be ready to put the plan into action. They will arrive somewhere around four and the window of opportunity will likely be very small what with the building filled with outsiders."

"We will not fail you," Caius, never one for false modesty, cockily replied.

"You do not want to be around for the consequences if you do," I calmly responded. "And make sure the girl is delivered to me completely unspoiled. Drug her if need be, but hurt her and my retaliation will be quick and sharp."

"Understood, _Dominus_," he immediately answered, making sure to check his voice for the appropriate humility.

I smiled, pushing the button to break the connection as I motioned for Heidi to assume her activities, still greatly displeased with the turn of events I had been confronted with but at least reassured in Caius' ability to deal with it in a way that would assure a happy outcome.

**- x-**

It was hours later when I finally exited the hospital and stepped into my awaiting vehicle, tired but pleased with the fact that Bella Swan was safely in my custody and Dwight Farraday had performed his procedure well and truly above expectation considering the fact that this morning he had been throwing up all over my operating rooms after downing almost a whole bottle of whiskey the night before.

He must have known what would happen to him if he failed.

I chuckled to myself, watching as the bright lights of the city slowly started to give way to the cloak of darkness the country offered, the car gliding along the Interstate 90 with a quiet hum that made the anticipation build in the pit of my stomach.

_She was finally within my reach. _

After what could only be described as too long, the car finally turned into the quiet, private lane that gave admission to our latest acquisition in real estate. It was a property I'd actually had my eye on for quite some time and so the minute my estate agent alerted me that it had come onto the market, I'd put in an offer the previous owners couldn't refuse.

I smiled realizing how fitting it was that this very special girl would get initiated in a very special house. _It was like it was meant to be. _

I was out of the car the moment it stopped, my dear _magistra_ already waiting for me on the doorstep with a forced smile on her lips. "Is anything out of order?" I asked, tightening my eyes as I took in her appearance.

"Everything's fine, _Dominus_," she was quick to assure me before adding, when she noticed I wasn't going to be satisfied with her answered. "I just don't know if I was cut out to be a nurse."

"Ah!" I chuckled, though I had to admit that her unwillingness to perform this simple task disappointed me. She of all people would have to know how my professional caregivers could not be spared from their duties on a night like this? "Well, your ordeal is about to end, my dear, now that I am here to relieve you of your duties."

She smiled graciously as she followed me into the house. "Has she awoken yet?"

"Not yet," she answered, "but judging from the way she's been squirming for the last couple of minutes she is about to…."

"Good," I nodded, dismissing her as I lingered in front of the door. I wanted to be alone with her – _Bella_ – when I first laid eyes on her in person. It was too important a moment to be shared with just anyone.

"I will see you tomorrow," she spoke, slightly bowing her head before she turned and walked away leaving me standing in front of a closed door with a heartbeat raging like it hadn't done in years.

In fact, I was starting to wonder if the last time I had been this excited was when her mother…..

I stopped that line of thought before it could take me to events that would mar this night, choosing instead to fold my hands around the doorknob and force it to give way, immediately revealing the beauty of a Swan lying in repose on the bed in the center of the room.

_She was here!_

I was barely able to contain my emotion as the plan I'd crafted over ten years ago finally started to take shape, my body moving towards her out of its own volition, a deep sigh erupting from my lips when my hand reached out to touch soft skin.

Finally after all these years I would get my revenge because I was sure that where there was one, the other would soon follow. And when he did, my victory would be complete. Through their children, I would destroy them both and my triumph would be very sweet indeed.

I laughed, the loud noise echoing from the walls making the small, delicate figure on the bed squirm as she slowly drifted back from her unconscious state.

She had so much of her mother in her. Renee was everywhere; from her delicate features to her almost androgynous shape and the way she slept, curled up into a ball. It was even better than I could have imagined.

When she left, twenty-four years ago, it had torn a deep wound into my being, an injury that had never truly healed.

But now, looking at the sleeping figure of her daughter, I found that it had all been worth it.

Little Bella Swan…. she was finally _mine_.

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_**Follow me on twitter for updates on my writing and everything else. I'm missbaby25 over there. **_

_**Loved it? Hated it? Please let me know.**_


	29. Chapter 29

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. I am in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise, I just use their creations to have my wicked way with them. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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* * *

**

_**This story wouldn't be what it is without my wonderful beta, **_**The Real Teacher**_**, holding my hand and correcting my many errors. Thank you so much!**_

* * *

_**This is perhaps one of the most important chapters in the story and one a lot of you have been waiting for, for quite some time now. It's also why I'm very nervous about posting it. **_

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**- 28 -**

"Dad!" I roared, my voice echoing off the marble floors as I barged into the foyer. "Where the fuck are you? Get down here _right the fuck now_!"

I could hear the sounds of footsteps rushing after me and an engine being cut as Jasper parked the car, but they barely registered over the roar of fear, anger and adrenaline that had been pulsing through my veins ever since I'd answered that fated call.

"Edward?" It was mom's voice, laced with shock and concern that answered, her slight figure appearing in the doorway only a moment later. "Honey, what's going on?"

"I'll tell you what the fuck is going on," I snarled, my nostrils flaring with rage as I spotted dad's shadow move behind my mother. "The Volturi took Bella. They _took_ her – snatched her away from her house just minutes after we dropped her off and all because he…"

My eyes tightened as I looked past mom where dad was still lurking in the shadows. "…..because _he _was only looking to save his own ass. And now they have her and God knows what they're going to do to her," my voice trailed off into a sob as my fear momentarily overpowered all other emotions battling inside me.

"Oh, my God." Mom's arms immediately surrounded me, as she pulled me into a motherly embrace. "My darling boy….I-I….I have no words…." Her arms rubbed soothing circles into my back, just as they'd done countless times before when I was a boy in need of consoling after a nasty fall or a fight at school. This time, though, nothing she could say or do could comfort me.

There was only one thing that could.

One person.

And God knew where they'd taken her.

Knowing I had no time to waste on my own selfish need for reassurance, I extricated myself from my mother's hold, pushing her away with what gentility I could muster as I launched myself at my dad's shadow. "You're going to tell me where I can find those fucking Volturi!" I raged, my hands tightening around his neck and pushing him into the wall. "Or I swear to God, I'm going to fucking kill you myself!"

"Calm down, Edward," dad answered, his voice and face as cool as if I'd merely asked him if I could borrow his fucking car or something. "I will tell you everything I know – though I fear it's nowhere near as much as you're hoping for – but you _have_ to remain calm, son. You have to let me talk…and _listen_."

My mind was spinning with everything that was happening around me, my need for answers as well as vengeance fighting for supremacy as I slightly relaxed my hold on my father's neck, dad's breathing already becoming slightly shallow and labored due to lack of oxygen.

In the end it was Jasper's hand on my shoulder, his calmness seeping into me through his touch that talked me down from the ledge. "You will regret it, Edward," he spoke, his hand softly pulling at my shoulder, drawing me back inch by inch. "He's your father. …Your mother needs him… You need him…._Bella_ needs him."

I watched the shame and guilt in my father's eyes as Jasper mentioned _her_ name, my mother's sobs sounding from somewhere behind me as his frame slumped with the weight of it as he lowered his eyes. "I am so sorry, Edward," he muttered. "I know words can't do anything to change this situation, but please know that I never meant for anything like this to happen."

My hand slipped down from his neck, Jasper's arms clamping around me in a way that was both restraining and reassuring as dad went on. "In my silence I – _we_ – hoped to protect you and Bella from them….I see now how naïve that was."

"Just tell me where she is," I pleaded, as Jasper – knowing that the critical moment had passed – stepped back again. "_Please_, dad. I have to know."

He squeezed his eyes shut, holding on to the dainty mahogany side table next to him for support. "I wish I _could_."

His eyes were begging me to understand him, the one thing I found myself wholly incapable of at that moment.

_I needed Bella back. _

_I needed to know she was safe._

_I needed her in my arms._

_I needed her._

_And I would do anything to make that happened. _

_Anything. _

"Carlisle? Edward?" Alice's soft voice drifted through the heavy silence. "Maybe the three of you should continue this conversation somewhere private?"

She sounded uncomfortable and I guessed I couldn't really blame her. "I mean….Jasper and I could leave if you want or….."

"Stay," I breathed, knowing I needed my friends right now more than anything. "Please….."

"Okay," she nodded, her eyes shining back at me with a watery kind of warmth.

"We'll go into the study," dad nodded, looking at me for approval before leading the way, my mother following behind him apprehensively as his hunched frame disappeared behind the heavy oak door.

"Is there anything we could do in the meantime?" Alice asked, her hands wrapping around mine and squeezing gently.

I rubbed my forehead, squeezing my eyes shut against the onslaught of a killer headache as well as my impatience to be out there and actually _do_ something. "You could maybe…I don't know…call her family? I think they should be told about Bella's…."

Alice nodded in understanding as my lips froze up, unable to speak the words. "Sure! I can do that," she answered, somehow forcing a smile onto her face. "Do you have their numbers?"

"I don't think so," I sighed. "But I know Rose probably has them. And maybe could try to get in touch with her roommates as well? They will probably be back by now…."

"Will do," she nodded, before rising to tiptoe and throwing her arms around me in some sort of marmoset hold. "Everything will be fine, Edward. I just know it."

I wished more than anything in the world that I could be as sure about that as she was.

I sighed, breathing in her delicate feminine scent for a minute before I stepped back and made my way to my father's study; the last place on earth I wanted to be right now, but the only place I could ever find the answers I needed.

"….it is as if I don't even know you anymore," mom's anguished voice sounded from within the room as I lingered on the threshold. "_Why_ won't you tell us what the hell is going on?"

I knew there and then that my mother had had enough of it. All through the last couple of weeks she had defended my father, stood up for him against me and stood by him as his wife, but now she'd reached her limit. "I always knew that there was something you were hiding from me," mom went on when all she got from dad was silence. "I even gathered that it had something to do with Renee and college and some kind of seedy history the two of you had together. I _knew_ it, but I kept my mouth shut, trusting you to do the right thing; trusting you to be the man I always hoped you were; the man I married…."

I closed my eyes as mom stood over him with a haunted look in her eyes, forcing him to look at her by holding his face in her hands. "Please, Carlisle, for the sake of my heart….tell me I wasn't mistaken."

"I'm sorry, Esme," dad muttered, his words causing my mother to sink at his feet like a rag doll, her body completely deflating as her mind gave up the fight. "I never wanted to put you and Edward through this….but the Volturi…..they have their ways to force your hands."

Dad rested his hand on top of her head, gently brushing her hair away from her face as he looked up at me. "I know it is always easy to hide behind circumstances and claim others forced you to do something, but in this case it is the truth. The Volturi…."

He shook his head. "…..they are an organization more dangerous than you can imagine and their reach runs deep. If you cross them….sooner or later they are going to make you pay for it and you'd be lucky if it is only with your _own_ life."

"What can we do against them?" I barked out in frustration. I didn't have time to listen to my dad mope about the fucked up mess he'd made out of his life. "There's got to be _something_ we can do."

He shook his head. "Do you really think it would be as easy as that? The Volturi aren't some kind of glorified group of boy scouts with a clubhouse and a secret handshake, son. They are murderers, drugs dealers and masters of deception; a secret society that has somehow managed to stay under wraps for over a century. You don't do that by taking any kind of risk."

"But they have to meet somewhere, don't they?" I yelled back. "Those pictures I saw of Renee Swan fucking half the town while you were kicking it back with your hand on your dick…they were taken _somewhere_!"

I tried not to see my mom cringe at my words, a small horrified gasp leaving her lips as she looked up at my dad.

"They were taken before I met you, when Renee joined the order and both she and I were still oblivious to the true nature of the Volturi," dad explained, his voice soft and remorseful as he spoke to her. "I never lied when I told you I've always held true to my wedding vows. At least….as far as it comes to the 'forsaking all others' part."

He then turned back to me. "Every meeting of the Volturi is held at a different location. They have people in real estate looking out for suitable spaces and selling them on as soon as those places are cleaned out again after they're done with them."

He sighed then, looking every bit as worn out and wary as I felt. "As much as I want to help you find her…..as much as I'd do _anything_ to keep Bella from harm – for your sake as well as for Renee's – I wouldn't know where to begin. There could be a hundred places around the state where they've taken her."

I pinched the bridge of my nose, taking deep, loud inhales of breath as I tried to calm the panic and powerlessness his words had stirred up inside of me. "Please, dad….there has to be something; _a face_…._a name_…._something_…"

"There are quite a few people working at the hospital whose faces I know from meetings or…or other _things_…" Dad started, his words making my heart beat faster with hope for a few moments before it was dashed again as he went on. "….but even if – and that's a huge if – we found one of them brave enough to risk their life by betraying them, it still would be of no use to us."

"Why?' I growled, digging my hands into my messy mop of hair and tearing at the roots, trying to ward off the frustration and restlessness that had taken a permanent hold on me.

"Come on, Edward?" dad challenged me. "Do you really think that after all the time and effort they spend in selecting their secret locations, the Volturi would just send out a newsletter to announce the next three locations for upcoming events? Sure, they'll tell you _when_ the meetings are going to take place, so that no one will be able to justify being absent, but that's it. Up to two hours, maybe three at the most, before the meeting will start, there's only a handful of people who know where it is being held and you can bet your life that all those people can be blindly trusted upon to keep their secret. When the time is right they'll send a text message containing the location to only those members they want to be present for the night and from that point on you're expected to drop everything and jump in your car to get there on time."

"Fine," I snarled. "So we pick one and tail his ass until he reveals where the next meeting is going to be held."

Dad sighed, rolling his eyes. "This isn't the A-Team, Edward. You can't just barge in there and drag her out. Those places are protected, and I'm not just talking fences or security systems…..I'm talking _Punitori_."

"Puni- _what_?" I growled.

"The _Punitory_," dad explained, rubbing his face with his hands. "They are lowest of the lowest….The kind of scum who gets off on the criminal side of the Volturi.

He looked back up at me, his eyes heavy and guilt ridden. "They are the Volturi's very own death squad, answering directly to the reigning _Dominus_ and doing everything – every dirty job he can think of – without question. They'll kill _you_ if they can and Bella if they must. If I know Aro, he's going to have at least two of them hovering around her at all times. You'll never get past them in time to save her son."

"So there's nothing we can do to….." My voice trailed off in a sob and the rest of me was in very grave danger of following after it into the realm of misery and despair but I quickly pushed my emotions to the back of my mind. _Giving in would do her no good._

"There's nothing we can do but wait," dad ameliorated my statement, his eyes drifting to the sleek silver mobile phone on his desk.

_What?_ "Wait?"

"Do you think this is all just about her?" Dad laughed bitterly. "Try as she might, Bella could never write an article powerful enough to warrant this kind of action from the Volturi. Sure, they may have been inconvenienced by the secrets she revealed, but it's all minor stuff…nothing to warrant a rash and risky reaction like this."

"No….." He shook his head as mom and I both gaped at him in utter confusion. "This is all because of what Renee did…..what _I_ did. And if they are coming after Renee like this….they are bound to come after me as well."

His eyes once again glided to the small, silver phone in front of me. "I have a feeling it's only a matter of time before Aro will contact us. His plan won't be perfect if he only gets to take revenge on one of the two people who betrayed him and until then, I think Bella is going to be as safe as she'll ever be. No one in their right mind would risk ruining Aro's 'master plan'."

His words gave me about as much comfort as a cotton blankie in the middle of the Siberian winter

"What on earth did you do them to warrant such a reaction?" mom asked before I could say anything, her eyes flittering wearily from dad to me as if she expected the Volturi to come charging through the door and snatch me away at any moment.

"I helped Renee get out," he spoke, a small smile forming in his lips as he went on. "About a quarter of a century ago, Renee Swan joined the Volturi. She was as unlikely a candidate as ever lived, but the promise she showed as a nurse combined with her good looks and easy going character caused some of the members to recommend her to the then reigning _Dominus_."

He looked at his hand, his fingers twirling his wedding ring around his finger as he continued. "Renee was no different from any other new member of the order. She joined them, drawn in by the promise of sex, drugs and rock and roll and – even more importantly – the promise of getting ahead in life with their help, only to realize later on just how big of a mistake she'd made."

He looked back up at me. "You see, Edward, the Volturi are very good at making you believe they are something they're not. They want to uphold this image of a secret student society, formed to advance the worthy to a high rank and station in Seattle society when really, underneath that mask, they are a criminal organization not unlike the mafia."

"But what does this have to do with Bella?" I growled because, fascinating as his story may be, it wasn't getting me any closer to _her._

"Patience, son, I'll get to that in a minute!" he ordered, sparing a small smile for my mom. "The meetings of the Volturi are modeled after those held by the _Maenads _or 'frenzied ones'; the mythological followers of the Grecian God Dionysus. After the reigning _Dominus_ pours out a libation to their deity, followed by a toast shared by members present, every meeting erupts into an orgy that can take two hours or more, depending on the meeting's intent."

"It took me some time to find out how they did it, but after a while I gathered that they spiked the wine that's used in the toast with either GHB or ecstasy or maybe even Rohypnol in some cases…whatever will guarantee them enough debauchery to build up some excellent blackmail material."

I nodded, suddenly the pictures and the crazy look in Renee's eyes making sense to me.

"But even in spite of the licentious nature of Volturi, it is not unheard of for a senior member of the Volturi – _princeps_ as they are called – to take a mistress of sorts; a female member set apart to serve only their needs." Dad's eyes were trained on the desk as he went on. "Renee Higginbotham was such a woman. When she was initiated, she immediately attracted the attention of one of the _principe_ and he forced her to become his, even though she wanted nothing more than to never have anything else to do him or any other member for that matter."

"But she got pregnant," I gasped, doing the math in my head. "Was the baby…..?"

"No." Dad shook his head. "I can say for a fact that Charlie Swan is Bella's father. I even have the paternity test to proof it. I remember the look on Renee's face when I gave her the results…she was so happy, knowing that this meant she got to stay in Forks with Charlie, a man she hardly knew but who could offer her the one thing she wanted: a way out."

He shook his head, his lips pulling into another bitter grimace. "She didn't know then that the Volturi were only biding their time, so you can imagine how shocked she was when the two of us ran into one another in Forks. She joined the Volturi only a few months before I did, but being the _famula_ of one of the _principe_ meant that she was present at virtually every meeting. She'd seen me; she'd seen my face before I was initiated and permanently hidden behind a mask after that. She thought I was out to get her back or kill her…it took me months to convince her I'd been just as glad to get the hell out of Seattle as she'd been."

Mom frowned. "Why did they allow you to move away? I remember that when you finished your residency you had a job offer from _Seattle Presbyterian_ as well as Forks General. I always wondered why you chose a small community hospital over a bigger one that would have done so much more for your career….."

"They'd yet to find a purpose for me," dad answered bitterly, "and until they found one, I wasn't allowed to get too friendly with doctors in rival hospitals in general and Seattle Pres in particular. Besides…I later learned that the Volturi thought that letting me out from under their eyes for a while to hone my skills, surround myself with people I loved and built up a life that I could be proud of would only make me that more vulnerable to them and their threats when they did pop back onto the grid later on….."

"The job in Seattle….." mom gasped. "When we moved back I thought…"

Dad nodded. "It was one of their creations. They'd finally found a use for me within their ranks and I was ordered to return and do as they said. It was the last thing I wanted to do but I knew that they would have destroyed me – and through me the both of you – if I didn't."

"And Renee?" I asked.

"She received a summons shortly after I had but she….She couldn't go back," dad answered. "By that time we'd heard about what happened to Bree Tanner, a girl who'd ended up murdered because she spilled a minor detail about the Volturi to some of her roommates. It wasn't even something that would have led to their discovery or even opened them up to it….It was just small stuff. Renee was terrified that that was going to be her destiny – or Bella's – if she ever returned to Seattle. She'd never been good at keeping secrets so she had a point."

He paused, rubbing his forehead as his eyes focused on his memories. "When the first picture was sent to her, she tried to play it off as a fluke – something that could be ignored in the hope it would go away – but when others started to arrive, the same summons engraved into the back every time, she started to get more nervous."

"At that point neither of us had any idea what the hell was going on….what they'd make us do….All we knew was that it was something disgusting and illegal."

"Renee wanted to come clean. I think she hoped Charlie would be able to do something to keep Bella and her safe, but I knew better…I may not have known what awaited me in Seattle, but I knew that if we didn't go or of we told too much we were going to end up dead….like Bree."

I sighed, closing my eyes as the all too familiar memories of the conversation Bella and I had overheard started to play in front of my mind again. "That day…"

"You overheard, didn't you?" Dad's lips pulled into a sad smile. "I should have known you and Bella would arrive home any minute but Renee had received more photographs and she was beside herself with panic and worry. I had to calm her down before she did something rash…"

"Did you know I heard you?" I asked.

"I figured as much," he shrugged. "When you reacted the way you did and started pushing Bella away …..you weren't exactly hiding your feelings behind a poker face, son."

"But why didn't you say something?" mom cried in anguish. "You allowed those Volturi to tear our family apart! Why didn't you do something?"

"It broke my heart to keep the two of you at arm's length," dad sighed, looking ages older than he was, "but you have to remember that by then I'd already received a summons of my own and so I knew that it would only be a matter of months before we'd move back to Seattle. I figured that the more distance I put between the two of you and myself, the better it would be in the long run. You'd hate me, but at least I'd know that you were both safe…."

"Renee got away," I countered.

"Because I helped her," dad answered calmly. "I paid for her flight out of Portland International and helped cover the tracks she left behind. It was easier for her since she only had a child to take into consideration and Bella….well, she was never the one to ask difficult questions when she knew her mom wasn't up to answering them."

I snorted. _Yeah, I could definitely see how dad would have had a much harder task getting me and mom to shut up. _

"But you didn't do _anything_," mom's calm voice accused him from across the room. "You had us walk into a trap from minute one and you didn't even have the decency to tell us about it."

"I couldn't." Dad's head shook furiously from left to right. "The risk of either one of you doing something that would draw the attention of the Volturi….I had to keep you safe. Don't you see?"

"From what?" Mom's voice sounded strangely – horribly – detached as she spoke. "What was it they made you do?"

"Please, Esme," dad begged. "Don't….."

"Dammit, Carlisle!" mom sneered back. "I'm your wife! I have a right to know!"

Dad closed his eyes, his chest heaving with a deep breath as he steeled himself before he went on. "I had it relatively easy, compared to those who chose _general_ _medicine_ or _pharmacology. _I caught a rumor a few years back that they had to harvest organs from people who definitely weren't dead – mostly illegal immigrants or homeless people….the ones who wouldn't be missed if they vanished – or cheat the hospital out of thousands of dollars each year by over ordering certain drugs the Volturi sold on to the mafia and other criminal organizations whereas all I had to do was make sure our 'clients' received preferential treatment when they were referred to me or – very rarely – perform a procedure that wasn't yet approved by the authorities."

Mom's shoulders remained tense, though I could see she'd expected to hear things much worse from dad – hell, even I'd expected as much. "I can't believe you did this, Carlisle."

"What would you have had me do, then?' dad cried back. "Have them sick the _Punitori_ on the two of you? Because they threatened me with it every damned step of the way!"

"And Jane?" I wanted to know, though maybe more than that I wanted to steer the conversation back into safer waters because the look on my mother's face was making me fear that she was about to slip.

"Jane would have been a brilliant neurosurgeon," dad sighed. "They got to her early on, when she was in her first year of medical school but she showed so much potential….I don't know when I realized it exactly but at one point I got the feeling that they were grooming her to take over for me."

He shook his head. "They must have found out somewhere along the line about how I helped Renee escape…but I don't know. By then I wasn't 'invited' to any of their meetings more than a few times a year. I think they must have seen me as somewhat of a killjoy because I never engaged…"

A deep sigh echoed through the room as he went on. "Anyway, Jane didn't want any of it. Unlike her brother, she hated the Volturi and when they ordered her to turn down a job offer she'd received from UCLA she wanted out.

He shrugged. "I knew by then that I was a dead man already, so I figured I might as well help her. I'd never thought they'd go as far as this, though…."

I sighed, another heavy silence falling over the room as my dad finished his account of his dealings with the Volturi. I would have thought that finally knowing what happened to make him end up like this would have felt like a huge relief – a great weight lifted from my shoulders – but instead I just felt….empty; a void, ripped open inside my chest the minute I'd found Bella's door open and the apartment devoid of any signs of life.

"Well." Dad and I looked up shocked at the chipper sound of my mother's voice. "I don't know about the two of you, but I need to make sure our guests are properly tended to."

I frowned, watching her rise from her seat as if she hadn't heard the words that had just been spoken; like this was just a day like no other. "If the two of you need anything, I'll be in the kitchen."

"Wha-," I started, still completely flabbergasted. "Mom?"

"Just leave her be, Edward," dad spoke, grabbing me by the sleeve of my shirt before I could follow after her. "She needs some time to process all of this and you know how much she hates to lose her composure in front of you. Give her time."

"Fine," I nodded, swallowing audibly as the great black hole of fear, panic and powerlessness started to creep back up on me. "So what are we going to do now?"

Dad patted my hand and, though I wanted to recoil from his touch or lash out at him for putting my girlfriend in the line of fire, I couldn't. "We wait for them to come to us."

**- x -**

When I made my way back to the sitting room, the whole place was buzzing with activity, all faces crammed into the room looking up the minute they spotted me in the doorway. They all had different ways of dealing with the news they'd just heard. Alice looked like she was seconds away from a Plinean eruption, her body strung so high she was almost buzzing with the need to do something while Jasper remained perfectly calm, his eyebrows set in a small frown as he wrote something down. Emmett, on the other hand, just looked like 240lbs of pissed off American male stuffed into a chair that seemed too small for his hulking frame.

Alice crossed the distance between the far end of the room, where she'd set up shop, to the doorway in less than a nanosecond, her whole body vibrating with impatience as she spoke. "Anything?" I could see from the way she looked at me that Alice already knew what I was going to stay.

I shook my head. "He doesn't know where she is and it looks like we can't find out either." I sighed, running my hand through my hair. "Jasper? Dad wants to talk to you now."

Jasper nodded. I guess he'd already suspected as much. After all, it was pretty logical that dad was going to share the same information he'd just shared with us with his defense team now that there wasn't a point to keeping his mouth shut any longer. "Come get me if anything happens."

"Your dad?" I hadn't even noticed Angela's small frame, disappearing almost entirely in the huge armchair she was sitting in, before she spoke. "Did he think it was the Volturi who took her?"

I nodded, rubbing my eyes as I felt a pair of arms – Alice's? – wrap around my torso. "Who else do you know of that would do such a thing?"

She nodded, her lips trembling as she tried to pull them into a smile. "I just wish me and Ben wouldn't have gone out…"

Ben pulled her into a tight hug as her voice agave out to sobs, my chest constricting in jealousy as I watched him comfort his fiancé. They had each other to lean on when things got tough while I was standing there all alone and Bella was out there… with _them_ doing God knows what to her.

"Knowing those fuckers, they would have gotten to her some other way," I shrugged, repeating the exact same words Jasper had spoken to me when I broke down in Bella's empty apartment.

Not that it could take away the guilt.

I'd left her there on her own.

Vulnerable.

And they'd made use of it.

I should have never let her go home on her own. I should have tied her to the fucking backseat of Alice's car and forced her to come with us – with _me_ – or stood guard in front of her door twenty-four-seven, knowing that if someone wanted to get to her, they'd have to go through me first.

"Edward!" Alice's sharp voice snapped me out of my wallow-party for one. "The same goes for you too. There was no way you could have known they'd just barge in there and kidnap her."

"But I promised Charlie never to let her out of my sight…." I growled back, thinking about the solemn vow I'd made to her dad only hours ago, only to be interrupted almost immediately. "I promised him to keep her safe."

"And how did you see that working out, Edward?" Angela let out a watery snort as she ducked out of Ben's embrace. "This is Bella we're talking about! The only way you'd be able to control her is to lock her up or handcuff her to your person."

"But you don't understand!" I cried, digging my fingers into my scalp and pulling at the roots of my hair as I looked at her. "I saw the van they took her in! Hell I even gave way to it as it pulled out of the fucking car park. I should have fucking done something! I should have fucking stopped them!"

"You didn't know, Edward," Alice spoke softly, rubbing my back in a soothing, motherly way. "You couldn't have known it was Bella in that car."

I shrugged out of her hold, not feeling as if I deserved the comfort she offered me at that moment. "I _should_ have known."

"Oh, for heaven's sake! Stop with the self-pity act!" Angela growled, looking like she would have physically kicked my ass if I'd been within range. "They took her and that's a fact, whether you could have done something to stop them or not. The only thing we should be thinking about right now is how the fuck we're going to get her back!"

"That's the spirit!" Emmett growled, making all of the untouched drinks and refreshments jump as he slammed his fist onto the coffee table.

But before Angela's plan could garner any more support, the loud ringing of a phone brought matters to a screeching halt.

"That would be Charlie," Alice announced, immediately dashing my hope as she picked up the living room extension. "He promised to call us as soon as he had an ETA for us."

I frowned, looking at Angela for an explanation, though it was her fiancé who answered for her. "Alice called Charlie while you and Jasper were at the police station. He jumped into his car the minute he found out what was going on so he should be on his way here by now. I think Billy's with him as well."

"Ah," I nodded. "And her mom?"

Angela nudged her head in the direction of the dining room where, through the glass a barely discernible Rose could be spotted moving around in the half-light. "She's still on the phone. Renee took the news rather badly, poor woman."

I snorted. "Poor woman indeed. If she and my dad would have come clean about their fucking past, none of this shit would have happened."

"I doubt Renee wanted anything like this to happen to her daughter," Angela glowered.

"But it did, as you so astutely remarked just now," I spat back. "And maybe if Renee would have told Bella what the fuck was going on instead of keeping her mouth shut, Bella would have known more about the danger she was in."

"Yeah, and if wishes were horses we'd all be knee deep in shit!" Angela snarled. "Plus, I seem to remember your old man hasn't exactly been forthcoming with information either!"

"Calm down," Ben intervened before this thing could grow even more out of hand than it already had. "Fighting isn't going to bring Bella back."

Alice stepped back into the room right then, her arrival perfectly in time with Rosalie's who must have finally put an end to her conversation with Renee.

"And?" Alice asked as she caught Rose's gaze from across the room.

"She's completely out of it," Rose replied sadly. "She's mad with fear and blames herself for what happened…..If it hadn't been for that Phil guy being with her, I would have flown over there myself to see to it that she didn't do anything crazy."

"Is she flying in?" Jasper asked.

Rosalie nodded, taking a sip from a glass of water. "She'll be on the red-eye flight into Sea-Tac so she'll probably get here very early tomorrow morning. They'll give us a call when they land so that we can come pick them up from the airport. What about Charlie?"

"He'll be here in a few,' Alice shrugged. "They were just pulling up to the Hood Canal Bridge."

"So what are we going to do now?" Emmett asked, obviously as tired of sitting on his ass and doing nothing as I was.

I sighed. "We wait. There's nothing else we can do. Plus, dad seemed to think the Volturi would be getting in touch with him for some reason. According to him, Bella's kidnapping is only stage one of this big master plan the Volturi cooked up to get even with him and Renee."

**- x -**

I spent the next hour or so answering all of the questions everyone had about the Volturi and what dad and Renee had done to earn their wrath. I was happy when, after an hour or so, Jasper rejoined us in the living room to help me out because it was difficult, answering the torrent of questions without giving away stuff that was meant only for the ears of mom, me and dad's legal team.

"So did you guys go to the police?" Rosalie wanted to know as soon as I'd finished. "Because, I mean….I have to agree with your dad that these guys don't seem to be the kind of organization you can just crash in on and hope for the best. I think we're going to be needing one hell of a 'strong arm' if we want to get Bella out of there – wherever she is."

"I know," I nodded. "If it had just been a bunch of horny assholes going at it, I would have been in my car scouring the countryside for possible locations, but that stuff dad told me about those _Punitori_ guys sounds pretty full on….I don't want Bella to end up hurt because we did something rash….or stupid…"

The others nodded, though I could see it was a very reluctant acquiescence on Emmett's part. Like me, he wanted to do something – get out there and work towards getting Bella back to us – instead of sitting on his ass drinking the beers my mother had put in front of him with a face so stoical it was almost creepy.

"So did you?" Rose repeated, adding when I frowned in confusion, "Did you go to the police or what?"

My face pulled into a scowl, my fingers digging into the smooth upholstery of the sofa as I let Jasper do the talking, my emotions too strong for me to make sense in anything I would be saying right now.

"Basically they refuse to do anything until Bella's been gone for twenty-four hours," Jasper spoke, his hand patting mine as he walked past me to hug his wife. "But if you'd ask me that's just a load of bull. They're hiding behind the book."

"They're not doing anything?" Rose cried.

"There weren't any sign of forced entry or a struggle having taken place inside…..Nothing that, according to them, indicates that Bella didn't just up and leave."

"That's just plain wrong," Angela, growled, her hands tightening into little fists by her sides.

I could only agree with her.

Everything about this was wrong.

Very wrong.

I'd known it as soon as I picked up the phone to find that the line had just been disconnected, my voice yelling at Jasper to turn back even before my mind had caught up. I knew something was wrong when we turned into the Nordheim Court car park and maybe even before that. All day I'd been on edge, the thought of letting Bella out of my sight making me feel uneasy for more than one reason. I wanted her around so that I could touch her, feel her….protect her and most of all so that I could know that this wasn't some kind of dream; that she'd really taken me back and shown me the grace I still wasn't complete sure I deserved.

All throughout my life I'd known Bella to be one of the bravest and gutsiest people on the planet. Knowing she was freaked out by everything that was going on in her life right now, combined with what I knew about the Volturi, made all of my protective instincts flare up as the alarm bells in my mind started ringing with screeching sirens and red, blinking lights.

If only I'd known how soon those fears would turn into reality I would never have been stupid enough to let her out of my sight.

Not even for a single second.

I shuddered as the memory of finding Bella's door ajar drifted back into the forefront of my mind, the eerie sight of warm, bright light, flowing into the hallway from inside the apartment only heightening my sense of dread as I'd walked forward, clinging to a fruitless, frantic hope that this was all some comic joke.

But it wasn't.

Nothing seemed to be out of place and yet everything about the scene in front of me, as I walked through Bella's apartment was wrong. The music playing to an empty apartment, the half unpacked overnight bag sitting in the middle of Bella's bedroom floor….She should have been there, scolding me for barging in like that…

But she wasn't.

She'd been taken – I'd known that for a fact even if the police didn't seem to believe me – snatched away by people who could be doing God knew what to her at that very moment.

People who'd already proven that they didn't shy away from intimidation or murder when someone stood in their way.

"Fuckers!" Emmett growled. "I bet those damn Volturi assholes have those useless sons of bitches by the balls!"

"Bella suspected as much," I sighed, running my hand through my hair.

"Suspected what?" a gruff voice demanded from the doorway.

Charlie.

I hadn't even heard them come in. Mom must have seen them pull up from the kitchen and opened the door because I somehow doubted that he and Billy would have entered the house as quietly as they did if it had been my dad answering the door.

"Charlie and Billy arrived while I was with Doctor Cullen in the office," Jasper was quick to explain. "We briefed them on the situation with the Volturi and I left the gentlemen to catch up."

I swallowed hard as Bella's dad let his eyes glide over the people in the room, his gaze tightening as he tried to place each and every one of the people in it before they rested on me.

"Edward." His face became hard and, unwittingly, my eyes shot down to the spot on his hip where his gun rested. I half expected him to shoot me.

Hell, part of me even _wanted_ him to.

It was all for nothing, though, because after a few moments he sighed, all anger leaving his face as he rubbed his hand across his moustache. "I hope you don't mind, but I brought Billy along. He knows a lot about the SPD and the way they operate which, considering what you kids were just talking about might come in handy at some point."

I nodded as I heard the telltale sounds of a wheelchair being pulled up the steps to the door. He had a point there. "Good thinking."

"I…erm…." Charlie looked a bit unsure, fidgeting with his mustache as he lingered in the doorway. "Jacob Black happened to be at his dad's when I came to pick him up and …well…..he decided to tag along as well."

Rose and I both groaned, though most of the others just snickered or tried desperately to keep their faces in check as Jake's figure became visible behind Charlie Swan, his face looking like a thundercloud as he glared at me.

"Cullen," he barked, taking a step towards me before Charlie yanked him back.

"Jacob," I nodded back, trying to remind myself of that fact that the guy was right now a guest at my house instead of just the fucker who'd had his paws all over my girl. _I wasn't doing a very good job at it, but hey, at least I was trying. That had to count for something…._

"Now, Jake, what did we agree upon in the car?" Charlie hissed, his voice oozing police chief authority.

"But Charlie…." he hissed.

"You calm down, son," Billy interrupted him as he steered his wheelchair into the room, barely avoiding his son's toes as he moved past him, "or you're going to sit this one out in the car, just like Charlie and I warned you would happen."

I could tell from the way both men were looking at Jake that his tagging along hadn't been the idea of either of them. It had probably been Jake, trying be all knight in shining armor in the hope it would make Bella get him back, who'd insisted on joining them. _Fucker!_

"So, does anyone want to fill me in on what happened?" Charlie asked, breaking the uncomfortable silence that had arisen since Jacob Black had entered the room. "I got the big picture when Alice called me and Jasper and Carlisle cued me in on the rest but I still have quite a few questions.

He paused, his brows scrunching into a frown as he looked at me. "Can you tell me what it was, exactly, that you found when you went to Bella's this evening? What happened to make you go there in the first place?"

I nodded, noticing how he's slipped into 'police chief'-mode. "We'd just dropped her off and were on our way to Alice and Jasper's where my car was parked, when my phone rang. Bella was calling – it was her name on the display – but when I answered the call had been disconnected."

I sighed, rubbing my eyes as Charlie motioned for me to go on. "It struck me as strange that she'd hang up on me like that, so I asked Jasper to turn the car around to check if she was okay. When I got out of the elevator I immediately noticed the door was open….."

"Did it show signs of forced entry?" Billy chimed in.

"Not that I could see," I answered.

"Was there anything else out of the ordinary?" Charlie took back the initiative, exuding a natural sense of authority. "Anything that could convince those rat bastards they call 'police' in this messed up town that this is, indeed, a case of foul play?"

I shook my head. "Nothing. As far as I could see everything was in order. It was as if she's just left….."

"And you know for a fact that this wasn't the case?" Jacob challenged me, the amount of hope in his voice making me hate the fucker even more.

"She'd never do that," Charlie stated before I could say anything, sporting a matching scowl to mine. "Bella may be stubborn and a bit impulsive at times but you know damn well that she's not stupid!"

"Fine," Jacob grumbled, shrinking into a corner as I saw from the corner of my eyes that Emmett was trying his best to calm down his girlfriend.

"What!" Rose hissed under her breath, low enough to know that her message wasn't intended for just everyone but loud enough for everyone to hear none the less. "It's not like the guy has a _right_ to be here! Bella dumped his useless ass a long time ago and I doubt she'd want _his _face to be the first thing she sees when we get her out of the Volturi's claws."

"Rosie!" Emmett groaned, as I inwardly debated whether to kiss her now or save it until I knew Bella was safe.

My mom, meanwhile, looked on rather uncomfortable, trying to keep the atmosphere light by offering to replenish empty glasses and offer a very awkward looking Jacob and Billy some more refreshments while Charlie busied himself with studying the label on his Heineken bottle, mumbling something under his breath about 'damned fancy foreign beer'. I guess he was more of a straight up _Budweiser_ man.

"Oh, come on!" Rosalie growled, punching Emmett in the arm. "It's not like I'm the only one who thinks it!" The way Angela avoided looking at her and Alice seemed to be very busy studying the intricate lines woven into the thick Persian rug that covered the wooden floors confirmed Rose's statement even more so than my grin may have done.

Before things could get out of hand, Charlie cleared his throat, demanding all of the attention again as his eyes landed on me. "Can you take me through what happened next?"

I nodded, closing my eyes as I restarted the jumbled mess my brain had made of the memories, my voice sounding oddly calm and detached as I relayed everything that happened from my frantic search for Bella to breaking down when I realized she'd been taken and our epic failure when Jasper and I had tried to convince the police of the fact that Bella hadn't left the apartment out of her own volition.

"Incompetent fools," Charlie growled as I finished up my account of everything he'd missed. "And they have the damned nerve to call us a bunch of amateur clodhoppers!"

'So basically we're screwed," Rose summed it all up. "We don't know where Bella is or what those lunatics are doing to her and the police won't help us until tomorrow night."

I sucked in a sharp breath, holding it for seconds as I tried to suppress the urge to scream, panic overpowering my complete system when I realized just how accurate Rose's summary if tonight's events was.

"Rosie," Emmett growled under his breath. He might as well have saved himself the effort of trying to whisper. With a voice as loud and strong as Emmett's, we would all have been able to hear him even if he'd just mimed the words.

"What?" she spat back. "It's the truth!"

"Yeah, well, you might wanna be a bit more diplomatic around Bella's dad and boyfriend, honey," he went on, his voice even lower but still as audible as if he'd been whispering in my ear instead of his girlfriends'. "I don't think they like hearing just how much danger Bella's in while they sit around powerless to stop it."

"It's the truth, isn't it?" Rose countered. "And anyway….You know I don't mince my words – _ever_ – and I'm not about to start now."

"Ahem," Billy scrapped his voice, drawing Charlie and mine attention away from Emmett and Rosalie's motivational speech. "I took the liberty of calling one of my old buddies from the detective squad from the road. He knows quite a bit about organizations similar to the Volturi so he knows the risk Bella's in at the moment. I hope he will be able to get the authorities moving before the twenty-four hour waiting period is over."

"And what fucking good is that going to do us with every damn cop in Seattle being as crooked as a fucking question mark?" I growled.

"Edward!" my mom scolded, though it was a half-hearted attempt at least. I could see she was as frustrated as I was.

"It's okay," Billy chuckled good-naturedly. "I won't deny that, with the information I've received from both Edward and Bella, it is getting increasingly clear to me that some of my former colleagues have forgotten where their duty and loyalties lie…."

He pursed his lips, shaking his head with disgust before he recomposed himself and continued. "….. but as far as Mark Banner is concerned I can safely vouch for his integrity. You see, he's been a member of one of those specialist federal mob-crunching teams for about ten years even though it has cost him his wife, his child and three fingers on his left hand. He hates all forms of organized crime with a vengeance."

"Sounds like just the kind of guy we need on our team," Emmett nodded as – as if he'd been timing his arrival - the doorbell sounded, announcing the arrival of yet another guest in the house.

Emmett was right.

As Agent Banner listened to Charlie and my dad – who'd finally deemed it safe to leave his study – as they explained Bella's situation, I immediately noticed a complete change from the reluctant and disinterested policemen I'd had to deal with at the SPD police station.

This man was interested.

_Very interested. _

I still had my apprehensions about the guy, seeing as he was a cop and most of the cops in this town seemed to be on the Volturi payroll, but for the moment I didn't have any other choice but to trust him.

And wait.

We sure did a lot of that.

We waited while Banner, Billy and Charlie were locked up for hours in my dad's study with my father and Jasper, going over every minute detail of the Volturi and their gatherings in the hope of finding the key to unravel Aro's master plan.

We waited as Banner's team slowly started to trickle into our house, placing phone taps and taking precautions for counter-insurgence the minute their leader would give them the 'all clear'.

We waited as Sunday slowly gave way to Monday and the sky grew darker as we watched the seconds on the clock tick away.

We waited while Rose and Emmett went off to pick up Renee, who was still a blubbering mess when she called Rose after Phil and she had landed at Sea-Tac airport.

We waited, sipping our drinks and mechanically nibbling on the food my mother – still operating under some kind of robotic self-control – put in front of us.

And as we waited, my fear for Bella's safety grew with every minute that passed until it started to slowly drive me insane.

And so I sat there, watching the seconds, minutes and hours tick by on the clock as around me one after another my friends nodded off into sleep, wondering what my dear, sweet angel was going through at that very minute.

"Edward."

I shocked back into conscience at the mention of my name to find Bella's mother standing right in front of me. Renee's voice sounded more timid than I remembered as she addressed me, her face lined with worry, grief and restraint.

_She knew._

Dad must have told her.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, her arms opening in an offer I wished I was ready to accept at that moment.

I sighed, wrapping my arms around her body as I nodded in understanding. "So am I."

Our moment was interrupted by the shrill but hushed ringing of a mobile phone somewhere in the house, causing us both to jump up and run into dad's study, arriving just in time to see him pick up.

"_Dominus_?" Dad's voice sounded a bit unsteady, his eyes flittering from Jasper to Agent Banner for confirmation as he answered the phone.

"Carlisle!" a male voice carrying the slightest hint of a foreign accent spoke gleefully. "How nice to speak to you again, my old friend!"

"What do you want?" my dad's clipped voice answered. "You already have Renee's daughter. What more can you demand of us?"

"I would have thought you knew better than to assume such a tone against me," Aro scolded. "Considering the nature of what is probably going on in that office of yours as we speak, you would do better to beg for mercy because right now, you are a dead man walking in the eyes of The Volturi."

Mom whimpered, her hand once again clutching my dad's as she looked at the phone in horror.

"Is it me that you want?" Renee's voice demanded. "Let go of my daughter and I'll give you everything."

"Is that dear little Renee Higginbotham?" Aro squealed in obviously delight. "I do believe it is! How nice to hear from you again after all these years! You were always such a very _obliging_ young woman!"

His apparent glee made me feel sick to my stomach but still hanging on his every word as he went on "However, I do not believe I will take you up on your kind offer. At least, not this time. After all, why would I content myself with the old version when I have the younger model right here with me?"

A loud growl rumbled up inside my chest and burst through the surface at the same time as Renee started screaming through the phone for Aro to let go of her daughter, our anger met with a loud cackle of laughter from the other end of the line.

"This little reunion of sorts is turning out to be even better than I could have anticipated!" Aro snickered. "But catching up with old friends wasn't the sole reason I called you, my dear Carlisle. From the noises coming from the background I assume young Edward is there in your office as well?"

"I'm here," I announced before my dad could say anything. "Why are you asking?"

"How impatient young people are these days!" Aro squealed, the affected joviality in his voice making me want to smash the phone against the wall just to shut him up. "But if you really want to know: I have something of yours. Something, I'm sure, you're very eager to have returned to you."

Charlie was just in time to keep me back as I launched myself in the general direction of the desk. "You let her go, you fucking pig! If you ever harm a hair on her head I'm going to fucking kill you!" I snarled, fighting against Charlie's stronghold.

"So tempestuous! So passionate! And so fiercely protective of your loved ones!" Aro gushed. "However, killing me won't be necessary, my dear boy. There is only one thing I want in return for your fair lady's freedom."

"Anything," I answered in a heartbeat. "What do you want?" I tried not to see the looks of horror on my mom and dad's faces as I spoke. I knew I was doing the very thing my dad had fought so hard to protect me from but now that I knew that The Volturi had Bella I couldn't even be bothered to feel sorry about it.

Nothing was as important to me as her safety was.

Aro merely chuckled, the sound of his laughter sounding even creepier than his words from before had. "I think you know what it is that I want."

Of course I did.

Even if my dad hadn't just explained how the Volturi operated, I would have known what – or rather who – they wanted in return for Bella's safety.

_Me. _

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_**Edward to the rescue?**_

_**Before next week's chapter will go up, I will be posting a lot of pictures on the twilighted thread for Absolution since the chapter was heavily inspired by them. The thread can be found through copying the link below and removing the spaces. **_

_**www . twilighted . net / forum / ?f=44&t=13706&p=1167881#p1167881 **_

_**Follow me on twitter for updates on my writing and everything else. I'm missbaby25 over there. **_

_**Loved it? Hated it? Please let me know.**_


	30. Chapter 30

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. I am in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise, I just use their creations to have my wicked way with them. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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_**This story wouldn't be what it is without my wonderful beta, **_**The Real Teacher**_**, holding my hand and correcting my many errors. Thank you so much!**_

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_**Pictures of the outfits, setting and general atmosphere of this chapter can be found on pages 8 & 9 of the Absolution twilighted thread. **__**www . twilighted . net / forum / ?f=44&t=13706&p=1167881#p1167881 **_

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**- 29 -**

_Darkness._

It was all around me as I floated, weightless and motionless in the night sky. There was no up, no down, no ties to bind me to the earth. Just me and the great beyond.

I'd never felt so at peace with myself and the world around me in my whole life (which might not actually be such a huge accomplishment considering the fact that my whole world currently appeared to be consisting of just…well…me.). Everything just….flowed.

Finally, after what may have been seconds or hours, I slowly started to become aware of things happening outside my little weightless and motionless bubble.

The tingling of human touch as it ghosted over my skin.

The hushed whispering of words that – at first – held no meaning to me but slowly started to get more clear.

Memories of what had preceded my venture into nothingness…..

And just like that, I fell from the garden of Eden and slammed back into the harshness of reality.

Slowly but surely the whispers turned into voices. Voices that were all familiar; some loved, some feared and some associated with mere acquaintances.

"Is it me that you want?" _Mom. _"Let go of my daughter and I'll give you everything."

The sound of my mother's voice broke my heart. I'd never heard her this distraught. It made me feel so guilty.

I should have listened to her when she told me to back off from the case.

I should have known better.

I should have done more.

I tried to move…the need to do something to put my mom at ease, but somehow my body didn't want to obey orders. My limbs, when I tried to move them, felt like they were weighed down by huge pieces of lead and my lips refused to open when I tried to speak.

Motionless.

What had seemed so blissful only seconds ago had now turned into my worst nightmare.

"Is that dear little Renee Higginbotham?" The hairs on my arms stood up in alarm as _his_ voice – the voice of _Dominus_ – sounded from a spot only inches away from where I was. I knew – or I should have – that they had been the ones who'd taken me, but hearing the confirmation of it…..

The adrenaline coursing through my veins finally brought some parts of my body back to order, my eyes slowly blinking against the soft light that surrounded me as shadows moved around in silent activity.

_Dominus_ kept talking as my eyes slowly started to get used to the light – or lack thereof – in the room, the strange black and red patterns above my head not making sense until my still jumbled mind finally caught up to the fact that they were drapes.

I frowned, the movement of my eyebrows a task so strenuous that I felt like I'd just run a mile, as I concluded that I must be in some sort of bed.

A canopy bed.

"This little reunion of sorts is turning out to be even better than I could have anticipated!" Aro's mind drifted back into the forefront of my thoughts now that the riddle of my surroundings seemed to be solved. "But catching up with old friends wasn't the sole reason I called you, my dear Carlisle. From the noises coming from the background I assume young Edward is there in your office as well?"

My brain, still a little slow on the intake, was still trying to process his words when Edward's voice suddenly filled the room.

"I'm here. Why are you asking?" To anyone who didn't know him like I did, his voice would sound calm and collected, the perfect image of the poker face so desirable in the members of the legal profession. However, I could tell how anger, fear and about a million other emotions were ruling him right then.

It was in small things, like a slight hiss to the end of his words or a miniscule tremor in its timbre when it was meant to be steady and controlled.

_Dominus_, of course, though it was all marvelous. "How impatient young people are these days!" he called out, his voice as cheerful as if his favorite granddaughter had just won her first pony race as his hands clapped in delight, the sound sending shockwaves to my sensitive senses.

However, his voice was much more serious and businesslike when he continued after a short pause for breath. "But if you really want to know: I have something of yours. Something, I'm sure, you're very eager to have returned to you."

"N-no!" A hand immediately clamped over my mouth as I tried to speak, a pair of feral looking eyes burning into mine in warning from behind a motionless, expressionless white mask.

Not that they were needed.

What had meant to be a cry came out as a soft whimper, my voice obviously still unrecovered from whatever drug they had used on me. I was fairly sure that it hadn't been heard by anyone but myself and the predator-like man who was restraining me.

Edward, on the other hand, wasn't weighed down by the obstacles I was facing so when he lost his cool, his anger echoed through the room, much to the amusement of everyone inside it.

Except for me.

"You let her go, you fucking pig!" he howled as I faintly discerned the evidence of a struggle in the background. "If you ever harm a hair on her head I'm going to fucking kill you!"

A lone tear dropped onto my cheek as I lay there, listening to his rage while feeling completely powerless.

_Oh, Edward!_

"So tempestuous! So passionate! And so fiercely protective of your loved ones!" Aro meanwhile gushed, sounding more and more like he was on the brink of an orgasm. "However, killing me won't be necessary, my dear boy. There is only one thing I want in return for your fair lady's freedom."

_No. _

_No! Oh hell, no!_

_No! No! No! No! No!_

I squirmed, my rodent-like captor increasing the pressure of his hand on my face as my resistance started to build with the realization of what Dominus was going to demand of Edward.

_No, Edward! Please, don't do it. Don't walk into their trap!_

"Anything." His answer came: quick, calm and decisive. "What do you want?"

I didn't understand how he could be so cavalier about this. He must have known that whatever promises Dominus was making over the phone, the guy probably would have no scruples going directly against them as soon as he had what he wanted.

_Which, strangely enough, appeared to be Edward and me._

And, for that matter, why wasn't anyone around him trying to stop him from committing this ultimate act of stupidity? I'd heard the voices of my mom and his dad – two people who must have known more than anyone else about what Edward would be dealing with if he went through with this harebrained scheme – and I had a feeling Emmett might have been in there as well. And if he was there, so was Rose.

_Why weren't they stopping him?_

_Why didn't they do something?_

_Dominus_, meanwhile, chuckled, pleased with himself now that his plans were obviously going so well. "I think you know what it is that I want."

More tears slid down my face as I listened in horror while Edward haggled with _Dominus_ about the logistics of his surrender, the voices of members of his family as well as mine floating in through the background.

"Very well," Dominus finally concluded, when all the specifics had been agreed upon. "Of course I don't think I have to remind you of the fact that, should you be followed, bugged or otherwise equipped to clue in others on our location or membership file, your dear beloved will suffer the consequences.

"If you're going to use her as bait, then I want to know she's still alive," Edward demanded. "I won't show unless you can prove that to me."

A dark chuckled filled the air. "I would not have expected anything else."

Rodent guy was back in my line of sight, his foul breath scorching my nostrils as he spoke, his voice low so that it wouldn't be heard by anyone but me. "Believe me, little girl, you don't want to make us angry. Especially not while you're all weak and vulnerable….like right now." He arched his brow, challenging me into an act of disobedience as he slowly lowered his hand from my mouth, his fingers clasping around my neck for no longer than a second before they drifted further south, cupping my breast.

"It's a shame the old man wants you all to himself," he pouted, his thumb brushing over my nipple making my whole body freeze with fear. "I bet we could have a lot of fun together….you and me."

"James," the voice of _Dominus_ spoke in warning, as I could see him draw closer in my peripheral vision.

The rodent-like man – James – pulled his hand from my boob and up to my neck, exerting just enough pressure to make me aware of what would happen to me if my words displeased them as another person held a mobile telephone to my ear. "Edward?" I croaked.

I could hear a sharp intake of breath and a loud whimper, probably coming from my mom, before Edward responded. "Bella, oh my God. Are you okay?"

"I-I think so," I stuttered, my voice and brain still unsteady with the influence of the drugs they'd used on me. "I'm s-so s-s-sorry, Edward. I shouldn't have opened the door and…"

"I'm not mad at you, baby," he interrupted me, and I could hear in the shakiness of his voice that he was close to tears…or already beyond that point. "This is all _my_ fault. I love you….."

"I love you too," I answered, but by then the telephone had already been taken away.

"So now you know," Dominus cooed. "Will you cooperate?"

"Yes," Edward responded in a heartbeat.

"And just in case you, your friends or those cops who are undoubtedly listening in on this conversation have any doubts about what we will do if our demands aren't met….Look inside the dumpster behind the _Tulio's_ and you will know what we are capable off when someone crosses us."

From the silence that followed I gathered that the connection had been broken, a blind panic taking hold of me the minute that thought sunk in. Because, as horrible as the conversation that had just taken place had been, the voices of Edward and Carlisle and my mom and the knowledge that they and probably my dad and some of my friends were out there, trying to get me back, gave me strength.

Now that they were gone, it was as if suddenly all the light and warmth had left the room, leaving me alone and at the mercy of the Volturi.

"Put her under again," Dominus' voice barked as I felt a slight sting in my arm, "We don't want her to cause any trouble, now do we?"

_And just like that, darkness returned. _

**- x -**

When I woke up again, small rays of sunlight were sneaking in through the thick drapes that hid the windows from my view – light where before there had only been darkness. It stirred an odd flicker of hope inside of me.

I cautiously scrambled into a sitting position, immediately noticing that the heaviness in my body and head had disappeared. _Whatever drugs they must have had me on must have worn off while I had been asleep._

There was still a distant heaviness in my head, though, a blurry mess that seemed to envelope my short term memory. It was strange. I knew something had happened last night. I knew I'd been awake and I knew that I'd heard something that had probably upset me since thinking about it made my whole body instinctively freeze up in fear.

_If only I could remember what it was._

Growing more confident now that I had my wits about me once more I started to look around, noting almost immediately that, much to my relief, the room was empty. _Empty and looking like it had just wandered out of a history book._

"Jeez," I snorted as my eyes wandered over the heavy, intricately carved oak furniture, thick Aubusson rugs and rich red, black and gold furnishings that filled every available space. "Looks like someone's gone a little overboard on the decorating."

The sound of my own voice filling the silence made me jump a little, its croaky, dissonant toned sounding nothing like I remembered my voice to sound.

But then again, it had been through a lot in the last twenty-four hours.

As had the rest of me.

Tired of sitting around feeling scared or sorry for myself I swung my legs over the side of the bed, the silk of the bedspread allowing me to glide down with an ease that was much welcomed considering I was still a little shaky on my legs.

With the curtains still drawn and my courage not great enough to open them for the time being, I was rather limited in my options when it came to exploring my new surroundings. The small drawer in the almost mockingly elegant little writing table in the corner and the huge blanket chest at the foot of the bed turned out to be empty which left me with only the immense wardrobe tucked into the corner of the room and two closed doors.

Working up my courage to get to the doors, I decided to move in on the wardrobe first. "Let's see what you're hiding," I muttered as my hands folded around the handles, my heart speeding up with excitement as the doors slowly creaked open to reveal….yet another empty space.

"Ah," I sighed, my excitement giving way to disappointment when the closet seemed to be harboring nothing more than that musty smell that hung around all things antique.

Not that I was an expert on big ass Medieval furniture or anything, but a closet that big should at least be hiding something. _A stash of secret letters…a key to get me out of this mess…..the door to the kingdom of fucking Narnia…_Even a change of clothes would have done as far as I was concerned, seeing as my own clothes were smelling kind of icky.

My current state of disappointment apparently opened the door for my body to complain about things that demanded more urgent attention than my need for more excitement that I could handle, so I was kind of relieved to find out that Door #1 led to a small, basic bathroom that stuck out like a sore thumb compared to all the grandeur of the bedroom.

_Apparently the Volturi were more into decorating than there were into renovating. _

Now that the demands of humanity were met, there was only one more door for me to open which meant that as soon as I was done in the bathroom, I cautiously pried open the door, hoping the noise of the flushing toilet would mask my attempts to make a run for it.

I frowned as I warily stepped into the empty corridor, nothing but closed doors and empty space lining my range of vision.

_This wasn't right._

Why weren't there guards, stopping me from trying to escape?

Not wanting to look a gift horse in the mouth (because really, I had an inkling that would stink!) I slowly made my way down, the fact that I was walking towards the light not altogether as comforting as maybe it should have been.

It was as if the freedom of movement dispelled the cloud that hung over my memories, my lips involuntary emitting a loud gasp as suddenly I remembered _Dominus_' conversation with Edward.

He was coming,

He was going to sacrifice himself to get me out of here.

I had to stop him.

The realization made my legs speed up to a pace reminiscent of running as I made my way through the corridor, my anxiety only rising when the corridor gave way to a huge and equally empty entrance hall, the sloping stairways looking rather desolate with no people walking up and down them.

_Seriously, where were all the people?_

Not that I missed them or anything, but if you had a prisoner on your grounds wasn't it kind of mandatory to do everything in your power to stop said prisoner from trying to make a run for it?

I made it all the way to the front door without being heard, which was something I was rather proud of considering the fact that I usually wasn't able to walk down an empty room without making a complete racket.

"Fuck!" I hissed under my breath as my unexpected venture into the world of stealthy behavior came to a screeching halt when the door let out this awful creak.

I held my breath, waiting for people to storm in or at least someone to poke their head around the door to see who was making all this god-awful noise.

But nothing came.

Nothing at all.

"Oh, well," I shrugged, gingerly stepping over the threshold. "I guess it's their loss."

But apparently it wasn't.

The minute I as much as inched out of the house my whole body seemed to be on fire, spasms of electricity shooting through my veins as I fell to the floor, desperately clutching the spot on my hips where the pain seemed to originate from.

_Stupid, stupid, Bella!_

Apparently in my eagerness to get the hell out of this place I hadn't bothered to check my clothes for shit they could have done to them. I'd just figured that since everything appeared to be the same as it had been before those creepy masked guys dragged me out of the house, it would probably _be_ the same.

_Big mistake!_

As I squirmed on the ground, desperate to make the hurting stop, I felt something solid, laced through the belt loops of my jeans where normally only the smooth leather of my belt was supposed to be, my hand stalling when finally it hit a small metal pouch attached to the strange new belt.

_Holy hell! _

_They'd shock-collared me!_

When the pain had finally subsided enough for me to become aware of my surrounding again I immediately noticed that I had an audience, a mob of masked faces looking down on me from the stairs and the space around me.

"Good morning, Isabella," the insufferably chipper voice of _Dominus_ spoke from somewhere inside the crowd. "I see now that you've discovered why we did not feel the need to shackle you to the wall, or even confine you to your room."

"A little warning would have been nice," I croaked as the final jolts of electricity pulsed through my being.

"What would have been the fun in that?" his answer came. "Besides, I somehow doubt that you wouldn't have attempted an escape even if you'd known."

He may have had a point.

I could hear people whispering and snickering all around me as I tried to get up, my legs feeling like they were made out of porridge as I scrambled to get on my feet.

Apparently Dominus didn't like me being turned into the newest exhibit in the zoo any more than I did, because his voice was harsh when he spoke. "Well, do not just stand there!" he barked. "Do you not have tasks to manage? Preparations to make for this special night? It will be on your heads if anything goes wrong."

I soon found out that nothing could clear a room like a pissed off _Dominus_, the people around me scrambling to look busy and get the hell out of dodge as heavy footsteps resounded across the hall as they leisurely made their way towards me.

I took the outstretched hand and let him pull me up, the repulsion I felt at my skin making contact with a hand that had ordered murders not outweighing the need to be upright when I faced my enemy.

"I apologize for the rude behavior of my _sumitti_," he spoke as he gently but compellingly steered me back into the direction I came from. "I would say that it's their eagerness for tonight's _ritus_ that has them forgetting themselves, but I do believe that it also has something to do with a general lack of upbringing and refinement that marks American youth these days."

I was silent, needing all my focus in putting one foot in front of the other as we slowly progressed back into my room, only speaking when I was safely deposited onto the bed and _Dominus_ had closed the door behind him. "Why are you doing this to me?"

His lips curled into a smile. "My dear, you have done this to yourself."

I shook my head. "I don't believe you."

His amusement at being contradicted made him look almost friendly, his hands forming a triangle as the tips of his fingers met in front of his lips. "I should have known. You are much too smart to be fooled by incomplete accounts…Part of it is true, though. Our actions may have not been this severe, had your article not forced our hands…."

"But I stepped down!" I cried. "I handed the case back to my editor!"

"Do not take me for a fool, dear Isabella." There was something in his voice that made me recoil. "You may have handed the case back to Miss Hale but I think both of us know that you would never truly have stepped away from it. Not while your involvement with the Cullen boy would have brought you into daily contact with it – _with us_."

I didn't stand a chance against such logic. "Very well," I sighed, wondering if the man was a mind-reader as well as a criminal, "but I still have a hard time believing that _that_ was all. I think that, had I been just a pesky little reporter asking too many questions, you would have killed me….like you did with my predecessor…or with Bree…or with Jane."

"Yes," he nodded, shivers running down my spine when he didn't seem to show even the tiniest bit of remorse. "Those deaths were lamentable but they could not have been avoided." _Lamentable, my ass! I had a hard time believing the guy had thought twice about ordering their deaths! _

"Then why am I here?" I asked, my need for clarity overpowering my sense of preservation for the moment. _Because if I was to go down – and, unless some miracle happened to stop him, selfishly take the man I loved with me in my fall – didn't I have a right to know why?_

His eyes took on a hard look as he stared out in front of him. "Because I knew your mother – _loved_ your mother even – and because Carlisle Cullen took her away from me."

I swallowed hard, trying to push back the panic bubbling up inside of me. "You…y-you knew my mother?"

A sinister smile graced his lips as he answered me. "Is that so hard to imagine? She was, after all, a beautiful woman in her youth, just as you are now. ….Yes….I do believed I loved your mother."

"Then why would you want to hurt her through me?"

His smile gave way to a hard look. "No one leaves me," he stated, the calmness of his voice giving it an even more sinister edge than his previous mirth had. "Betrayal is seen as the worst vice possible within the Volturi and cannot be avenged by the mere death of the traitor."

I only saw the syringe in his hand seconds before he plunged it into my arm, a familiar numbness reappearing almost instantaneously as he emptied its contents into my squirming body. "No…," As conscience slowly started to give way to sleep, I could hear him chuckle, his hands caressing the patch of skin still stinging from the needle. "It has taken me twenty-four years to get my revenge on them…but patience is a small sacrifice to make for it to be complete and perfect in its execution."

**- x -**

"Wake up!" My body jolted back to consciousness as whoever was yelling at me slapped me in the face.

"Good," the female voice sneered. "I know _Dominus_ told me to make sure you were not to be harmed but I doubt he'd have you sleeping through his precious rituals or being presented to him stinking like a fucking sewer."

I was just about to come back with a snide remark of my own when a sharp yank on my arm had me flying off the bed, my arms remembering to brace for impact just in time to prevent me face-planting on the Aubusson rug. "Get up!"

I could hear her scrambling around as I desperately tried to get my bearings, using my hands to push my body up from the floor as I looked around me.

During the time I'd been asleep, the room had transformed from an empty assortment of over-the-top furniture into a ladies boudoir, filled to the brim with just about every feminine primping product known to man and bustling with feminine activity.

Apart from the red-hot pain that radiated from my cheek, there was a stringing pain in my neck which, upon further inspection, seemed to be caused by _something_ that was going on in my neck. Something that had raised the skin. Something that reminded me of what my skin had felt like when I'd gotten my little salamander tattoo. Something that reminded me of the photographs of Jane Foster….

"They thought it better to give you the _Kiss of the Volturi_ while you were asleep," the female voice snickered. "Somehow they didn't think you'd just kick back and let them mark you like the others did."

She was definitely right because the thought of what they'd done to me alone was enough to make me want to throw up, which was no small feat considering the fact that I hadn't eaten anything in God knew how long.

"Well don't just stand there!" The unidentified annoying female went on. "We've only got three hours to turn you into something presentable, so get your ass underneath the shower. _Right the fuck now_."

I could see a faint outline of the woman now, her long blond hair looking almost aglow in the candlelit room as she fumbled with a few of the pastel colored bottles displayed on the writing table (which looked more like a vanity with the huge gilded mirror and all the girlie crap displayed on its surface) all the while mumbling to herself. "I don't know what Dominus expects of me. I'm a secretary, not a fucking beautician…" She glared back at me, all pale skin, blue eyes behind a white mask and hot rage. "…or a miracle worker."

"Hey!" I growled, my outrage looking kind of silly considering the fact that I still had trouble keeping myself upright. What was I going to do? Throw myself at her? Hmm, maybe that would help.

"Come on!" she sneered. "I've seen the state your eyebrows are in which makes me shudder to think of the state the rest of your body hair is in! I mean, if you're that callous with your face, God knows what we're going to find down south!"

"W-what?" I gasped, my hand automatically drifting to the area in question, as if to protect it from sniper attacks with a razor.

The unidentified (and more hated by the second) blonde went on as if I wasn't standing right in front of her. "Come to think of it….maybe I should just let you go in there as is….I mean, I doubt _Dominus_ will be so eager to have you as his personal fuckbuddy when he finds out you look like a fucking Ewok!"

My whole body froze up as suddenly the final pieces clicked into place. My mother….the pictures…._Dominus_' words….

_No._

_No way. _

_Not going to happen._

_Over my dead fucking body._

Adrenaline pulsed through my veins as I lunged for the blonde, throwing the best punch I had in me at the moment in the hope that it would distract her long enough for me to make a dash for it. _Shock collar be damned. I'm getting out of this joint!_

I hadn't even made it halfway across the room when I found myself back on the floor, writhing in a familiar agony as something – or rather _someone_ – set off the collar again.

"Didn't think you had it in you, bitch," Blondie chuckled, toeing me in the ribs to get me to stand up. "Not so brave now, are you?"

"Hmpf," I huffed, weakly because my body was still trying to reel from its most recent agony.

"Just know that every time you piss me off, I'm going to press this little button right here…" My hands lunged for the small remote control, the minute I laid eyes on it.

"Na-uh!" she mocked, holding her hands safely out of range as she pressed a button, a much lower electric pulse making my body twist and squirm all over again.

After that, every ounce of resistance soon became futile. The minute I did something she didn't like – and believe me, that was often – Heidi, as I found out she was called, would press a button that would either make me squirm, cry out or writhe on the floor in complete agony.

And so I stood by and let her do her worst, cursing myself all the way as I did my best to detach my mind from all the things that were done to my body.

And it worked.

I didn't even feel an ounce of the mortification or pain I would have normally felt if some stranger set to work, waxing away all of my body hair, plucking my eyebrows and molding me into a shape so foreign and strange, that I had a hard time recognizing myself in the mirror when she was finally done.

Who was this girl with the strange, large eyes and the thick shiny hair, hanging down in wavy tresses that just about hid her naked breasts from view?

It wasn't me.

I didn't look like that.

Which was good, because if this wasn't me, then I wouldn't have to feel the things that were about to transpire.

I wouldn't feel what they would do to me.

I wouldn't be there.

The only thought I allowed myself to think off as they plucked, primped and readied me for what was to come, was what was happening to Edward.

Did he know he was walking into a trap?

He had to.

Then why did he do it?

For me?

For the girl who would gladly take whatever the Volturi would throw at her – including death – if it meant he would get to be spared?

For the girl he most likely wouldn't even want to touch with a bargepole if they were going to do to me what I suspected had happened to my mom?

_Please let him come to his senses….Or even better, let him think of a plan that would get us both out of this mess. _It became the mantra that constantly got repeated in my mind as Heidi worked me over, hoping that somehow there would be a way out of this before it was too late.

Before I lost everything I ever held sacred.

"There!" I was jolted out of my thoughts as Heidi's smug voice shattered the silence. "A work of art, if I may say so myself." She let her eyes glide over the naked form presented in front of her, her grin widening as she congratulated herself on a job well done. "Now let's get you dressed so that you can join the other girls in the anteroom."

The dress, if one could ever call the almost see through Grecian contraption she'd put me in a dress, at least felt nice against my skin, though the same thing couldn't be said of the huge golden armbands she snapped around my wrists or the ever present shock collar that was hidden underneath my gown.

When she put me in front of the mirror again, now fully dressed and – apparently – ready to go, I looked like something out of a historic movie, my hair done up in an elaborate hairstyle to match the see through goddess gown, the golden pins holding the fabric together at my waist matching the ribbons woven through my hair and around my waist perfectly.

It was a good thing it all looked so outlandish and surreal to me because it once more allowed my mind to slip away as Heidi, with another firm warning about what would happen if I put as much as a foot wrong, guided me out of the room that had become my entire world over the last couple of hours and into a large and equally lavished decorated room.

"I will leave you here to get ready myself," Heidi whispered threateningly in my ear as I took in the company of blondes, redheads and brunettes looking just like me, who were snickering and shooting sideways glances at me from the corner of the room.

They didn't seem like they had been forced into this room like me. On the contrary: they looked like they wanted this; like they were having the time of their fucking lives. Their faces were flush with excitement with eyes flitting to the door every time they heard something outside as if they were afraid of missing out on the main event.

_Which wasn't very likely, considering the fact that they – like me – were it. _

I tried to push the panic down, my hand involuntarily reaching out to touch the raised skin at the base of my neck where they'd branded me. _There was no escape now….._At that pointI was pretty sure that I would never walk out of that building alive again, not after everything I'd seen and been told over the last couple of hours. All I had left to pray for now was that my end would be fast and solitary.

_Please Edward….stay safe. _

"Don't say a word to them." Heidi's low, menacing voice was back, her nails digging into my skin hard enough to cause pain but soft enough to not leave a mark for her superiors to see. "If I come back to see these girls acting funny, saying things they shouldn't be saying or even thinking things they shouldn't be thinking, you are going to wish you were never born."

I snorted. _Didn't I already?_

As if to give me a reminder, Heidi pressed that damned button again, the voltage she send through my body this time not high enough to make me visibly recoil but hard enough to get her message through.

"Am I making myself clear?" she snarled, her ugly demeanor hidden by the smooth, white surface of her mask.

I nodded, not trusting myself to say anything that wouldn't have me reconnect with the floor, as I sat down in one of the antique Medieval (and Medievally uncomfortable) chairs, allowing the chatter of the other girls to lull me into a sort of dreamlike state in which I remained until Heidi and a couple of guys dressed just like her came to get us.

Preceded by Heidi, who bore herself with the regality of a proud mother hen, we walked into the huge hallway in a single file, the flickering of candles lighting our path as we stepped into a semi circle of masked and hooded people that had gathered around the wide and imposing staircase as drums pounded through the air, dictating the rhythm of our procession.

I craned my neck as we made our way through a row of black robes, trying to see if I could find Edward anywhere in the crowd but all I saw was the same, impassive white mask staring back at me fifty or so times.

He wasn't here.

My heart sped up as relief washed over me.

_He wasn't here. _

We came to a halt in front of the stairs, the rhythmic pounding of the drums stopping almost as soon as we did as a magnificently robed _Dominus_ descended towards us. The mask he was wearing was very different from the ones worn by his subordinates, the white of his mask shifting to a vibrant gold around his eyes, and the feathers lining the edge of it immediately setting him apart from the rest of the people gathered here tonight.

"Welcome, my friends!" he spoke in that sickeningly friendly voice of his. "It is with great pleasure that I say these words to you tonight! And what a special night this is!"

There were whispers and nods all around as Dominus paused, the smug grin almost audible underneath his mask as he gave his subordinates time to revere him. "Not only will we be welcoming five new faces into our midst…." His hand waved over the other girls who were now giggling nervously, obviously still unaware of what was to come. "….we will also see the initiation of fair Isabella Swan, daughter of our very own Renee Higginbotham, following in her mother's footsteps as my new _famula_."

I had no idea of what a _famula_ was, but with everything I knew I could hazard a guess as to what the job entailed.

_No thanks. _

A low voltage shock coursed through my body before I could visibly recoil. _Heidi's reminder to play nice. _

"But before we get to the official part of this night," Dominus went on, "let us raise our glass to the deity that brought us here together."

Magnificent golden chalices appeared from out of nowhere, the hooded ring of people behind me as well as the five dimwits next to me eagerly picking up their glass and raising it to the heavens while I merely eyed the cup they held in front of me, a strange feeling of unease creeping up on me. _There was something about that deep red liquid that told me not to drink it. _

"To Dionysus!" Dominus' voice boomed as he lifted his ruby encrusted cup to the sky. "May he bring us pleasure and prosperity."

"Drink!" a harsh voice I recognized to be the one belonging to the creepy guy I'd met before ordered, his one hand holding the cup to my lips as his other closed my nose until I had no other option than to open my mouth and drink.

And so I did; wary of another round if electroshock torture if I didn't do exactly what they said, as the voices of his peers all answered the toast made by their leader with an enthusiasm that almost made the floor beneath me vibrate with it.

Red wine.

I cringed as the rich taste of the liquid blinded my senses while invisible hands lead me up the stairs, my brain only snapping back into place when my hands were bound to the armrests of a throne-like high-backed wooden chair.

I gasped, pain shooting through my wrists as I yanked against the restrains, two huge hands immediately enclosing my skin and halting my movements.

"Do not resist them," the arresting voice of Dominus spoke right beside my face. "It will only cause you pain."

He paused, the feathers of his mask brushing against my cheeks as he moved. "The girls down there…." His hands waved to the five girls still assembled at the foot of the stairs, looking up with a mixture of envy and excitement, "… they all wish it would have been them up here."

I snorted. "I'd be more than happy to trade." My voice didn't sound right. Sure, I'd just swallowed a full glass of wine, but that didn't justify the haze that seemed to be taking shape around me, or the drunken lisp that accompanied my voice.

"I somehow doubt it." Dominus chuckled. "These girls….They will share their bodies with any one of my men while you, my dear, will be destined to meet only my needs. You see…..while sharing is good enough for my men, I have a different attitude when it comes to my physical needs."

I recoiled as a gloved hand caressed my cheeks before slowly gliding down my neck and chest before coming to rest on my thigh. "I know you will not disappoint me. After all, you are your mother's child in so many other aspects…."

"Please don't…" I begged, my voice trembling as the haze seemed to slowly thicken around me as the drums started their tantalizing rhythm again.

"Almost ready," Dominus sighed, his hand slowly withdrawing from my thigh. "Just sit back and enjoy as your newfound sisters take their pleasure, knowing that before long it will be your turn to honor me and our patron saint."

The bile rose in my throat as I listened to him. _How could a person be so…disgusting? _

_Remember Bella,_ I spoke to myself, _you're not here. You're not here. You're not here….._

He rose from his seat beside me then, the drums fading as he raised one of his hands into the air. "Before we pay homage our patron saint by taking pleasure in the way that he and his followers have taught us, let us take a moment to remember what it is that brought us here."

The silence that fell over the room was so complete you could have heard a pin drop on the marble floor, all eyes trained to _Dominus_' shape as he continued. "The Volturi were founded at the beginning of the twentieth century to protect the naturally strong against the influence of the weak, elevated to a position they were unworthy off by fellowships, equal opportunity acts and other revolting initiatives to diminish what nature has installed in us the very day we were crated: a natural order."

A rush of displeasure floated through the room, some of the people assembled even going so far as growling at the mention of the very things that made our country great as far as I was concerned.

"Over the years we've grown into a mighty organization, dedicated to the advancement of the worthy; its members bound by ties that are reaffirmed at every meeting and by the sense of courage and self-sacrifice each and every one of us feel towards the greater good."

This time the noises that rose from the thick crowd at the bottom of the stairs were those of approval, spurring _Dominus_ on as he continued to sing his own praises. "It has come with sacrifices; some small, some personal and some that almost brought our fine organization down." A tense silence fell as the masked faces shifted their gazes from _Dominus_ to me.

The girls at the bottom of the stairs laughed like hyena's as they were slowly cued in on the predicament I was in. _Dominus_ was right: they _had_ been jealous of me. But now that they knew I was in this position as a punishment and not a reward, they were all too happy to embrace their own faith.

"But in spite of all their efforts to bring us down, we are still here!" Dominus cried. "Stronger than ever and determined to save Seattle from the weakness and inertia that threatens its very foundations like they have never been threatened before!"

This time there were fist pumps all around as the audience, swept up in a wave of self-glorification, became aware that Dominus was reaching the grand finale of his speech. "So tonight, my friends, let us take pleasure in wine, food and each other, when tomorrow we set forth to illuminate the earth!"

A thunderous roar of assent reverberated through the room as the drums started up again, this time joined by the tantalizing melody of some kind of flute.

I closed my eyes, funny things happening to my body as, for a moment, I too was swept away by the music, a strange excitement taking hold of me as my body slowly swayed to the languid rhythm of the music.

_My control over myself….it was slipping as I felt myself getting caught up in the middle of it, my mind no longer pulling the strings as my body became more and more eager to engage._

_It scared me to death, even though this was pretty much what I'd asked for._

_I wasn't here._

_Or, better said: I was but I had absolutely no control over this situation….or myself. _

When I opened my eyes again, the room had gone through a complete transformation. The mass of cloaked and masked figures at the bottom of the stairs had dispersed, revealing that instead of its empty state from this morning, the floor was now taken up by intricately carved daybeds and stacks of pillows and mattresses making up makeshift places of repose all scattered around a huge stone fountain, placed in the middle of the room.

There were people dancing around it, dipping their hands into the stream of red liquid as their movements became more erratic while the music sped up. Following their hands I now noticed that they were all naked except for their masks, the red stuff on their hands drawing lines onto their naked skin as others watched on with rapt attention, sipping from crystal chalices and eating fragrant dishes that made my mouth water with hunger or blatantly masturbating to the orgy of naked flesh.

It was a bacchanal; a scene of utter lawlessness caused by inebriation in sacrifice of the wine-God Dionysus or – as he was called in Latin – Bacchus.

A group of people stood off to the side, arranged in a strange v-shaped form around a central figure that seemed to be no different from the others in the room except for the fact that there was something about him; a certain tension or anger or…well…_something_ that I knew deep down inside should mean something to me.

But it didn't.

And I found that my mind was very easily distracted by the events taking place in the room. It didn't want to be static or focused or taken up by worry or fear or any other negative emotion.

It wanted bliss.

It wanted to feel invincible.

Indestructible.

And I still held no control over those base emotions whatsoever. In fact….the part of my mind that was still able to oppose the rest of me was quickly fading out as my consciousness seemed to fade with it.

My blurry eyes registered a change in the scene as the music started to reach its summit, hands that were previously occupied with private worship now reaching out to grab others as slowly the dancers started to move to the pillows and mattresses spread out on the floor, eagerly awaited by the five girls who were still dressed. Though I had a feeling that they wouldn't be for much longer.

I squirmed, trying to remain in control as my body involuntarily started to react to the growing cornucopia of naked, writhing flesh and cries of ecstasy erupting below, my hands twitching with impatience around the armrest as I watched one of the new girls get taken from behind by a huge hulk of a man.

"Don't fight it," _Dominus_' voice crooned in my ear, with a sensual timbre I hadn't previously discerned. "This is what you were born to do. You are your mother's gift to me, born to take over her position of servitude….made just for my pleasure….."

I noticed from the corner of my eye how the central figure in the strange v-shape that started to thrash around him, the others immediately grabbing his arms to restrain him as a muffled roar rose up above the music.

But it only managed to distract me for a single moment, as Dominus' hand folded around mine, leading me slowly down the stairs.

"It's time," Dominus, announced, holding his hand out for me to take.

It was the thing my brain registered before it succumbed to the cloud that had enveloped it.

That and a loud crash coming from somewhere right in front of me.

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_**Follow me on twitter for updates on my writing and everything else. I'm missbaby25 over there. **_

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	31. Chapter 31

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. I am in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise, I just use their creations to have my wicked way with them. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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_**This story wouldn't be what it is without my wonderful beta, **_**The Real Teacher**_**, holding my hand and correcting my many errors. Thank you so much!**_

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_**Again, pictures of the outfits, setting and general atmosphere of this chapter can be found on pages 8 & 9 of the Absolution twilighted thread. **__**www . twilighted . net / forum / ?f=44&t=13706&p=1167881#p1167881 **_

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**- 30 -**

"Don't go through with this."

I wasn't surprised to see my mom standing in the doorway, her hands clasped together so tightly her skin had turned an unhealthy shade of white.

I sighed, knowing that there was no way I could take that anxiety away. Not this time. "I have to."

"No you don't." There was a lot of fire in mom's voice. "Agent Banner himself told me that, once they find out where they are keeping her, it won't be absolutely necessary for you to get yourself involved and…"

"And what would you have me do?" I growled, my fists slamming down onto the desk. "Stand by and watch as they storm the building knowing that those creeps are in there, doing God knows what to my girl?"

I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose as I tried to control my rage. "I _have_ to get in there, mom. You heard Aro. He told me that as long as I showed up and did what they said, Bella would be safe."

"And you believe him?" mom screeched. "That guy's a criminal….a _murderer_!"

"I have no choice, do I?" I yelled back. "I _have _to believe that guy is telling the truth or I'll go crazy."

"And that means I just have to stand by and watch my only child walk into a trap?" It was around that time that mom started sobbing, her hands now balling into small fists by her side as she looked at me as if she was already saying goodbye.

"Mom," I sighed, crossing the distance and pulling her resisting frame into a hug. "This may all turn out fine, have you thought of that?" There was little conviction in my voice but I hoped that it would be enough to calm her down at least.

Mom sniffed, her hands finally clasping around my back as she gently swayed us to a rhythm only she heard. "Don't play me for a fool, Edward," she admonished me. "You know as well as I do that those Volturi won't just let you waltz into their headquarters and save the day."

"Actually, I think they might." We both looked up, surprised to see dad standing at the top of the stairs. Ever since I'd marched into the house last night, demanding answers, he'd barely left his study besides bathroom breaks and the occasional trip to the kitchen to reload on refreshments.

"Oh, great!" I heard mom mutter against my chest. "Now both of you are revolting against me. What's next? The Armageddon?"

Dad chuckled. "I think that might be a bit premature, darling, but please allow me to explain myself."

Mom nodded, following after my dad as he led us into the library, one of the few places in the house unoccupied by friends of mine or Bella's or policemen.

Ever since Bella's disappearance the house had turned into something of FBI dependence. Since my dad's bail conditions prevented him from leaving the house, the police had no other option but to come to him if they wanted to get the lowdown on the Volturi. And apart from that, both Agent Banner and Charlie Swan both seemed to agree that clueing the Volturi in on our recently struck up friendship with the Feds might not be a good idea.

After all, didn't Aro say 'no police involvement'?

Which was why Jasper and Emmett had been running something of a cab company since early this morning, bringing in Banner's FBI-team as well as a shitload of equipment in a way that – hopefully – wouldn't attract any unwanted attention from the Volturi.

Banner seemed to agree with Charlie that getting the SPD on board right now would probably be as helpful as throwing a drowning man two ends of a rope. The dangers of our plan getting back to the Volturi outweighing the benefits of their help by far.

Besides….didn't they already make it very clear that they wanted to stay as far out of this as they could?

I clenched my teeth in frustration as I walked into the room, taking a seat in a high-backed leather armchair as I tried to calm myself down.

Mom shot both of us an icy glare, waiting until my dad took a seat only to pick a spot on the same sofa but on the opposite side and dressed him. "I believe you had an explanation for the fact that you're so willing to send our son to the slaughterhouse?"

"I'm not some kind of innocent little lamb, mom!" I groaned, though I was as impatient to hear what dad had to say for himself as she was.

Mom smiled a tense smile. "You'd never hear me say you're innocent, dear. I just don't want you to end up hurt, that's all."

_Great, even my mom seemed to think I was some kind of incorrigible manwhore. I was sure she and Bella would get along swimmingly. _"Dad?" I turned to my dad for help, watching as he chuckled at my predicament for a short while before – mercifully – turning serious again.

"Aro hasn't been the leader of the Volturi for that long," he started. "When the old Lord of the Volturi died, there was much discussion about who was going to take his place. You see…at least, not many who would actually stand a chance."

I frowned, wondering what the hell he was going on about, my confusion triggering another chuckle from my father before he went on. "For the Volturi to have remained underground for so long, they need to have a leader who is nothing short of a genius."

Mom snorted bitterly. "Nice kind of genius that is."

"I'm not defending the Volturi or their actions," dad was quick to explain. "All I'm saying that is you want to manage your members, maintain contacts with various organized crime syndicates and do all of that without raising suspicion from the police or the unknowing members of Seattle's high society – and we all know how much they love a good piece of gossip – you're going to need to have your wits about you."

"And Aro didn't?" I asked.

"Aro is clever enough," dad explained. "He used to be a fairly good surgeon in his day, but it's his organization skills that set him apart from the others. As a chief of staff he is nothing short of brilliant. He is charming and amiable, thus enabling him to have people do his bidding without them even realizing it. It's those traits, as well as his contacts among the elite both above- and underground, that got him elected."

He held up his hand, silencing me before I could interrupt. "However, he is not a man without fault. His determination, as we have seen, can turn into obsession; blinding him to the risks he's taking in order to get his way and apart from that…..he has a flair for dramatics. It's why I know he's going to make a right show out of tonight's meeting."

"How?" mom asked. "And why?"

"He's waited a very long time for this night to come, darling," dad answered, leaning forward to pat mom's leg. "Which means that he's had equally long to plan this whole event. He's not just going to let Edward walk in there, kill him and be done with it…."

Mom gasped at the mention of a murder, her frame recoiling from dad's touch as she pushed her body into the corner of the sofa, her eyes silently begging me to see reason. _Her reason. _

But the only reason I saw was my dad's. "He's going to initiate me first, isn't he?"

"That's my bet." Dad nodded. "He knows that I've worked very hard all my life to keep you as far away from them as I could so when he takes his revenge on me, he's going to want to make sure he touches all the bases."

I nodded, his explanation making sense, were it not for one small yet very important detail he was missing. "What about Bella?"

The deep sigh my dad emitted didn't promise much good. "I think they may want to initiate her fist, but in a different way than they will do with you. You see, her mother – Renee – was something of a favorite of Aro's back in the day and with him being the new Dominus…..he's probably going to want to make her his _famula_."

I huffed. "_Famula_?"

"Personal attendant."

"Ah," I swallowed hard, getting exactly what dad was implying.

"I still don't see how this is going to console me one bit," mom complained, her voice breaking through the heavy silence.

"It means that we have a pretty substantial window of opportunity to work with before things will get ugly," dad answered.

"You mean, uglier than they already are?" I challenged him. "And that window of opportunity had better not include the rape of my girlfriend because if it does….I'll kill you myself. I swear." My body was trembling with rage, in part directed at my father but most of it at the rest of the Volturi. What I'd heard tonight, shocking as it had been, had made my judgment of my father and the decisions he'd made in life a bit milder, though I still had a hard time understanding the '_why'_ of them. I now saw what he had been up against and why he had decided to keep us as far away from his 'secret life' as he could, but I still had a hard time dealing with the fact that he – my dad – had been one of them. _One of those disgusting creeps who held my Bella captive. _

"Edward!" mom hissed, twisting her body so that it formed a shield between me and dad.

"Calm down, son," dad commanded. "Of course I don't want to see anything happen to Bella. Do you really think I did? Do you really believe me to be capable of even _contemplating_ it?"

He went on when I didn't answer him immediately. "Then tell me son…..If you really thought I was going to let Bella get hurt, why did you think I've spent the last couple of hours holed up in my office trying to explain everything I know about the Volturi to men who are going to try and use that information to get me behind bars…as well as go through every single real estate purchase in the last twelve months to come up with a possible location for tonight's meeting."

"Did you find it?" I immediately asked, my focus on getting Bella back overriding all sense of duty or obligation I felt towards my dad right now. _If he and Renee didn't get us into this mess in the first place, I wouldn't have had to get us out. _

"We found a few places, yes," dad nodded. "But we won't know for sure which one they picked until they take you there."

"So you're going to use our son as bait!" mom yelled, jumping up from her seat in a flare of rage. "What kind of person are you, Carlisle? I used to think you were a kind man who's dedication to his work forced him to neglect his family but now….."

We were interrupted by the scrapping of a throat, agent Banner standing on the threshold looking all kinds of uncomfortable as he interrupted our 'happy' family reunion. "Doctor Cullen? We need you downstairs to explain a few more things to us…"

"Very well." Dad let out a deep sigh, looking sadly on as my mother twisted her head, avoiding all further contact with him as he left the room.

"Mr. Cullen?" I looked up to find Agent Banner still standing in the same spot. "We're going to need you as well to go over the proposed plan of action."

I nodded, standing up but before I could take more than two paces in the direction of the door, mom's hands wrapped around my arm, holding me in a vise like grip. "Edward, please…don't do this."

I kissed her forehead, saddened that after all my efforts to be a better son I still had to break her heart at the end of it. "I have to, mom. I'm going crazy here…..I can't stay and save my own ass, knowing that there's something I can do to save her. If your roles had been reversed, you would have done the same."

And with that I extricated myself from her grasp and walked away, never looking back. Because I knew that if I did, it would become that much harder to carry out our plan.

_I had to._

_I had to do this._

_I had to save her. _

**- x -**

"Our SPD contact just came back to us," Banner spoke, almost the second the door to dad's study closed behind us. "Early this morning a waiter discovered the body of one Alec Foster, hidden amongst the waste in a garbage container, his body completely drained of blood and stabbed several times. The location was an exact match for the one given to us by the leader of the Volturi."

Dad's lips pressed into a hard line as he sagged into his chair. "So many lives wasted…." he groaned, hiding his face behind his hands. "And to think I could have prevented this…."

"I don't think you could have," I sighed. Part of me wanted nothing more than to enthusiastically nod along with every self-deprecating speech he made, knowing the danger he'd put all of us over the years, but I wasn't going to make the same mistakes I'd made in the past. _I wasn't going to let anger be my _leitmotiv_ for any moment longer, not after everything Bella and Alice had painstakingly taught me about myself._

"I have to agree with Edward here, Doctor Cullen," Agent Banner nodded. "In the eyes of the Volturi, Alec Foster committed an act of treachery when he gave Miss Swan the picture of his sister that revealed the tattoo. And if the Volturi are anything like your common, garden variety crime syndicate, treachery is punishable only by death."

I snorted. "Garden variety?"

Agent Banner chuckled. "You'd be amazed at how much criminal organizations have in common. Which brings me back to you, Mr. Cullen."

I looked back at him, noticing at once how calm he was. But then again, this was his work. If anyone was supposed to remain calm in a situation like this, it was him. "Okay," I nodded. "How are we going to do this?"

Banner smiled encouragingly as he motioned for everybody to take a seat. "Due to their hospital connection, we believe that the Volturi may have the disposal of a lot of high-tech scanning equipment, which means that putting any kind of bug or bulletproofing on you would be ill-advised as well as dangerous."

I nodded, though from the sharp intake of breath that came from across the room my dad was a little less pleased at me stepping into the lion's den with nothing but my skin to protect me and no means of calling in the cavalry.

"Since we're pretty sure they are going to have people on the lookout for any 'uninvited taggers along' when they pick you up, we can't follow you as closely as we would like either," Banner went on.

I let out a rather strangled laugh. "Do you have any good news for me, agent Banner? Or is this the part where you tell me to start putting my affairs in order?"

"With your father's help we've managed to narrow the list of possible locations for tonight's proceedings down to eight," agent Banner replied. "That means that if we can get an indication of where you're headed, it will be enough for us to match it to one of our options."

"Okay," I nodded, only partially reassured.

"Apart from that, with the information your father provided us with, we've deducted we have at least a three to four hour window of opportunity to strike before you or Miss Swan will be in any acute danger," Banner added, looking at my dad for confirmation.

"The Volturi are anything if not traditionalist when it comes to their rituals," dad explained. "They always start at ten, with the 'greeting ceremony' and the libation to Dionysus, followed by two hours of wine, food and sex."

I shook my head in disgust, though this time it was mostly directed at myself. I could see now why so many had found a membership to the Volturi appealing before they found out about their darker, criminal side. In fact, if I'd heard this roughly a couple of months ago, it would have sounded like my perfect night on the town and I would have been as psyched to join them as my dad had probably been in his younger years. _I guess that was why they recruited their members when they were still young, impulsive and stupid_.

"When the clock strikes twelve, the actual inauguration ritual takes place," dad went on. "Each member present is called upon to swear their allegiance in blood, including the new members. Part of the oath is the promise to – if need be – commit murder to protect the secrets of the order and I think tonight, they will put that oath into practice."

"Right," I breathed, turning to Banner. "Please get Bella and me out of there before that happens!"

"We'll do our best," he nodded, his face grim again. Throughout our planning of this night he had made it clear that this wasn't exactly his way of handling things, which was something I could easily imagine. For a professional like him, using a civilian as bait while they fumbled around in the dark, hoping to catch up with said bait before it was too late was probably the last thing he would do. But, as he had begrudgingly admitted: they had no other option right now. Infiltrating a criminal organization took time, which was the one thing they didn't have right now.

And so desperate times called for desperate measures.

"Let's do this," I growled, balling my fists by my sides as I looked around the room with what I hoped was a look of determination and resolve.

**- x -**

"Come on," I huffed, pacing up and down the small paved area in front of Seattle Grace's main entrance. _Trust the Volturi to select one of the most public places in the city as my pick up location! _

I'd been pacing up and down this same damned place for the better part of half an hour but – apart from a few ambulances and regular visitors – nothing had happened.

I looked around me, trying to find any of the federal agents that had to be hidden around the place just as a black Mercedes van veered around the bend, the familiarity of the vehicle and the speed with which it moved immediately cuing me in on its purpose.

Showtime.

I was reading with impatience, my whole body ready and rearing to fight as the van came to a screeching halt in front of me, the back door sliding open just as the car stopped in front of me.

"Get in," a faceless voice opened, the tinted glass of the windows making it impossible to discern any activity inside. "And be quick about it. We don't have all day."

I wanted nothing more than to give the impatient jackass the finger though, knowing I had no other choice but to obey, I moved closer to the vehicle. A gloved hand reached out and yanked me into the car the minute I came within range, another shoving a black bag over my head as the car already accelerated to a dazzling speed as the door snapped shut again while they set to work on tying my hands and feet together.

It was in that moment I really hoped agent Banner hadn't been shitting me when he'd cued me in on their plans. _Because I sure as fuck didn't know where the hell we were going. _

"Check if he's got any bugs on him," I heard a voice speak, the tearing at my clothes and the subsequent buzz of some kind of electrical appliance proofing just how right agent Banner had been about not hooking me up to any kind of spyware.

"He's clean." I knew it all along but I still let out a sigh of relief when I heard the words, the growl of the engine picking up speed making me wonder if maybe we'd turned onto the highway. I had no doubt in my mind that, had I been bugged, they would have killed me right there and then.

I didn't know how long it was until finally the roar of the engine started to wind down as we changed the main roads for a much bumpier kind of street, the car jolting over the many potholes and twists and turns as the other passengers carried hushed conversations I wasn't able to make any sense of.

When the doors finally opened again, I could immediately smell we were out in the country, the air crisp and fresh as opposed to the distant undertone of exhaust fumes that seemed to follow you everywhere you went in the greater Seattle area.

I was yanked unceremoniously from my spot on the floor of the van, my newly unbound feet remembering how to support my body right before it would have crashed to the solid ground beneath me as I was rushed into a building, the echoing of our footsteps getting hollower as we moved further inside.

Finally, we moved into a room, the thick carpet underneath my feet muffling all sounds as I was pushed into a chair and bound to what I presumed were the armrests and legs with sharp binds that immediately started digging into my skin.

And then, suddenly there was light again.

I blinked at the black bag was torn from my head, the faces staring back at me all similar and making no sense until I realized they were masks. _Well, wasn't that charming!_

"Ah, Mr. Cullen!" There was no mistaking the sickeningly chipper voice of Aro as he made his way into the room I was being held in. "We meet at last."

I immediately noticed that he wasn't wearing a mask, his familiar features beaming back at me with a nauseating mixture of curiosity, malice and fake friendliness. _But then again, why would he wear a mask when I already knew who he was?_

"The pleasure is all yours, I'm afraid," I replied gruffly. "Now tell me where Bella is."

Aro had the audacity to look hurt, his busy eyebrows tightening into a frown for a second before his own mask was back in place. "You'll see her when the time is right."

I didn't like that one bit, but I wasn't really in a position to argue.

At least, not much.

I growled, the binds – which I could see now were made of some kind of steel – tearing into my skin as I tried to wriggle out of them with no success. "You'd better not have hurt her, Aro….."

"Or what?" I could hear a few snickers around me as Aro looked on in amusement. "Face it, my dear boy: you and the girl are mine to do with as I please. And believe me, what I have in store for the two of you will please me to no end."

"You promised she'd go free!" I growled, though I'd know all along that a promise made by him didn't hold much value.

Aro appeared to be intrigued. "Did I? I don't remember….."

A red haze of anger shifted in front of my vision, my arms and legs no longer caring about the pain as they yanking on their restrains. "You fucking let her go, you pig! I'll fucking kill you!"

The haze turned into a full-blown volcanic eruption when Aro's laughter rose over my insults, his hands clapping as if to applaud me for a marvelous display as one of his cronies delivered a blow to my head that would have had me spinning on my toes if they'd been free to do any spinning.

"Your anger bores me, boy," Aro snarled, all fake friendliness evaporated from his voice.

He was back in control, though when he turned to one of the masked goons hiding out in the corner. "See to it that he doesn't disrupt tonight's ritual."

"Do you still want him present for it, _Dominus_?" one of the goons asked with all due reverence.

"Of course," Aro barked back. "Having him watch is half the fun! Just know that if he moves, or talks or does anything that would displease me…..I will hold the lot of you personally responsible."

And that made them shrink just like the trusty little lapdogs I thought they were.

**- x -**

The hours ticked away, as I waited inside that same room, surrounded by four of Aro's masked little lapdogs while in the distance I could hear people arriving, their hushed voices excited as they entered the house.

I could hear the room next to me opening and closing, footsteps echoing through the corridor as female laughter rose up from outside my door.

I held my breath, trying to listen for that one voice I was so desperate to hear but between the thickness of the doors and the quickness with which they passed it was impossible to recognize one from the other.

_Where was she?_ I squeezed my eyes shut as I tried to find answers to the questions that had been wracking my brain ever since I'd found her apartment empty last night. _What was she doing right now? Were they taking care of her? Was she scared and alone or in pain…_

My hands balled into fists, nails digging into my skin as I tried to fight the panic that came from knowing she might be a few feet away from being put through God only knew what while I sat here, biding my time and being completely useless to her.

But then again, this was what agent Banner and his team of out-of-state federal agents had prepped me for during those long hours in dad's study. I served a means to an end; a way – the only way, it seemed – for them to find out where Bella was being held before it was too late to save her.

_And hey, it was better than sitting at home and doing nothing. _

Or so I kept telling myself.

The big, grandfather's clock in the corner of the room kept ticking, the sounds from within the house picking up before falling into an eerie silence as the clock struck ten.

_It had started. _

Almost the minute the clock struck ten, the silence gave way to the sounds of drums being beaten mechanically as – all of a sudden – a deep roar of excitement rose up from inside the house followed by the opening and closing of another door, the noise picking up again as whoever had exited that room entered the main hall.

Suddenly the drums stopped again, this time for a longer period of time, the silence only broken by muffled cheers and growls of displeasure as the Volturi started the ritual through which they initiated their new members.

The drums started up again after fifteen or so minutes, starting slow but, as the sound of a shrill and almost hypnotizing kind of flute started to mingle through the monotony, they started picking up pace.

I closed my eyes, trying to remember what I could of my dad's explanation of the ritual. If he'd been right, Aro would have opened the ritual, explaining what tonight would be all about and announcing a toast to honor Dionysus before erupting into dance and – later, as the drugs they'd ingested started to take effect – sex.

Which meant that, since the sound of the drums picking up again after the long silence probably marked the transition between the formal opening and more informal cornucopia of earthly pleasures, Bella was now in great and immediate danger.

And I was still stuck inside this fucking room.

_Why weren't they coming to get me? Where the fuck was Banner?_

I could have suspected that Aro would have wanted to make a big spectacle of parading his prisoners, the son and daughter of two people he considered traitors, in front of his followers but as the seconds turned into minutes and the minutes into hours, the sounds of a fully fledged orgy drifting in above the constant rolling of the drums, my anxiety started to rise to a whole new level as I started to realize that things weren't going as planned.

_And what the hell was keeping Banner?_ A quick look at the clock told me that it was already a quarter to eleven. _They were supposed to be here by now. _

_What the hell was going on?_

Finally, after what felt like forever but was in fact – as the obnoxiously loud clock mocking me from the corner of the room kept telling me – no longer than twenty minutes, footsteps echoed through the corridor, coming to a sudden stop right in front of my room.

"It is time," a voice barked as the door flew open, revealing five or six more figured clad in identical masks and robes as the ones that had been standing guard around me. "Bring forth the prisoner."

_The punitori._

Dad had told me about this special squadron within the Volturi, answering directly to the reigning _Dominus_, who did all of their dirty work, the jobs they didn't want to risk by ferreting them off to some terrified amateur.

_I bet one of those fuckers killed Jane and Alec too. _

"On your feet." I was unceremoniously yanked up from my chair and jostled towards the door, the ways my hands and feet were tied together in some kind of medieval chain contraption drastically impeding my movements as I desperately tried to keep up with the pace my four guards were setting.

"Wait!" The man who was obviously their leader spoke as we came to a stop in front of him.

I muffled a groan as he tore the mask away from my face, the hard plastic edges digging into my skin as I blinked against the sudden influx of light. "Hold him back."

Two hands held my head in an iron grasp as the son of a bitch in front of me forced a ball gag into my mouth and fastened the clasps around my head before others fixed my mask back in place, hiding all evidence of the gag. "We wouldn't want you announcing your presence before you're called upon, now would we?"

The others chuckled as my discomfort as I frantically tried to suck in enough air through my nose to keep myself from keeling over. A knife flashed in front of my face as I looked up again, before being retracted inside the folds of its wielders robe. "Just in case you're thinking about doing something utterly stupid…." His voice was low and warning as he spoke, his mask touching mine as he leaned in closely. "One wrong move and I'll make mince meat out of you…..or that pretty little girl of yours."

I had a hard time thinking he would hurt a hair on Bella's head, especially with her being groomed to become Aro's new special treat, but still, there wasn't a bone in my body willing to risk it.

My guards, all nine of them, lined up around me as we started our procession down the hallway, the sounds of sex – and lots of it too – getting louder and louder the closer we moved towards our final destination, until I suddenly found myself standing in the middle of a fucking ocean of naked, writhing flesh, the sickly smell of food, smoke and something else making me gag as my guards pulled me after them.

I could only look straight ahead, the fabric of my robes and mask as well as the straps that held the gag in place turning my neck into a marble pillar whose only function was to hold my body upright and make it see what was in front of it.

Which, right now, was a huge marble fountain, a statue of what I assumed was Dionysus, and in the center was a throng of people fucking like their lives depended on it.

Which wasn't even a complete lie.

I let out a shaky sigh of relief when I wasn't able to spot Bella's small, beautiful frame amidst the other newly anointed members of the Volturi, all five of them easily recognizable by the fact that they were the only ones who weren't wearing masks.

The sight in front of me was somehow strangely familiar. In fact, it was almost the exact image I'd seen in those pictures I'd found in dad's study: naked bodies, covered in faint red stripes rolling around in the throes of passion, the only faces visible being those of the newly initiated, their looks of ecstasy recorded for posterity by photographers hovering on the fringes.

_Had this been what it was like for dad? _

_Had he felt as disgusted as I was?_

_Or as scared?_

"Stop here," the leader of the _Punitori_ ordered, the long sleeve of his robe pointing at an 'x' that marred the pristine marble floor. _I guess the Volturi really did think about everything, even the exact spot where they wanted their prisoner to stand during the last moments of his life. _

I was turned one hundred and eighty degrees, a gasp immediately escaping my lips as this brought me face to face with a small, yet strikingly beautiful figure sitting in a high-backed chair on the landing between the ground floor and the higher levels of the house.

_She looked….strange. _

I frowned, trying to find out what was wrong about the picture but mostly coming up with blanks. Sure, she was clad in some kind of Greek (and almost translucent) kind of getup and her hands were bound to the chair, but those things had all been expected.

_It was her eyes. _

I growled low in my chest, something cold and solid immediately pricking into my back as I fought against my restraints and the iron grip of the two guards standing next to me.

"I'm right behind you, Cullen," the voice of the leader sneered, my name rolling from his lips with a disgust as if it were an insult. "One more stunt like that and you'll be clogging up our little fountain over there along with that other stupid boy!"

I sucked in a sharp breath, my eyes growing wide with horror though never losing sight of Bella as suddenly the unknown smell made sense.

_Blood. _

It was trickling from the large jug in Dionysus' hands and all around me, smeared across naked stomachs or blushing cheeks as they took pleasure in each other and the death that had befallen one of them.

"They don't know," the sadistic son of a bitch behind me chuckled. "They think it's wine or ketchup or something else and by now they're probably too doped up to even care if it's not. In fact, ninety percent of the people present here today don't know half of what the Volturi are really capable off."

"We're going to have so much fun enlightening their minds tonight," another one chuckled. "They won't know what hit them. And – more importantly – they'll think twice before they'll ever betray us the way your dad and that disgusting whore did."

"I hope you'll rot in hell," I snarled, my body tensing up as – finally – Bella's eyes opened and started to shift across the room before landing on me, her eyebrows pulling into a small frown before relaxing again as she settled her sights on the men in the far end of the room, who sat back and indulged in food and wine as the moans of their more sexual counterparts continued to rise up from in front of me.

The _Punitore_ behind me merely laughed, a sadistic barking laugh. "I probably will, but at least I'll know that you'll be there waiting for me."

I didn't want to rain on his parade, at least not when he was holding a fucking knife to my gut, by telling him I was already there.

Because I had a hard time believing that _this_ wasn't hell.

Looking around me, at least as far as my restraints allowed me to do so, I started scanning the room for possible ways out. There were doors and windows enough around me, which would make getting away relatively easy, but then again, that wasn't the problem.

The problem was the nine armed guards standing around me (because I had a hard time believing that only their leader would be armed).

And the even bigger problem was the girl sitting on a dais across the room from me.

Getting to her would be next to impossible. Even if I managed to somehow overpower nine armed guards with my hands bound behind my back and my feet attached to them with a chain too short to be used as a weapon, I would still have to make it through the dead sea of fucking Volturi and past the onlookers before facing their leader.

Aro.

My eyes shot from Bella to the garishly dressed figure sitting next to her on a throne-like chair, the feathers sticking out of his mask and the golden embellishments to both his mask and his robes making him look like some kind of disgusting breed of exotic bird.

I could feel his eyes on me, though his mask remained perfectly impassive, his head dipping a little to the side before he leaned in a spoke a few words to Bella.

It was when my eyes drifted back to the woman I loved that it all started to make sense.

_Drugs_.

Dad's words came back to me as I watched her eyes almost roll around in their sockets, her pupils dilated and her breath shallow as she answered Aro's questions, her fingers drumming along with the rhythm of the music as her body slowly started to yield to the drugs they'd pumped into her system.

_I had to do something._

_Fast._

Time was running out and with still no sign from Banner, I knew that drastic measures were in order if I wanted to have any hope of this ending in anything but death and destruction.

_Too late._

While I'd been frantically looking for a way out, Aro had risen to his feet, taking a very unsteady on her legs Bella with him. The way she wobbled made it look like she was about to pass out; her face pale as a sheet and her eyes rolling into the back of her head as her chest heaved with every breath she took.

_I had to do something. _

_Right now. _

_I had to save her. _

_At all costs._

Before I knew it, two of my guards had been shouldered out of range as I hopped forward, my mask dropping from my face from the sudden movement, hoping it would put enough distance between me and the psycho bastard behind me to prevent me from being gutted like a fish.

Their shock was acute and mighty, black figures dropping to the floor as I used what scope I had to fight my way free from the guard, an almightily roar welling up from deep inside of me as I continued to fight for what I was worth, praying for a miracle but hoping it would at least snap Bella out of whatever drug-induced haze they had her in.

I needed her help.

I needed her.

It was a battle that had been lost from the start, I'd known it even before I lost my balance, the sharp stings of knives slicing through fabric and piercing skin telling me that this was it. This was the end.

I was going to die.

"Edward!" I high-pitched shriek reverberated through the air as my guards jostled my defeated and bleeding body up from the floor, one of them holding my head in a tight lock, forcing me to look at what was going on in front of me as another kicked me sharply in the ribs, making my breath leave my lungs in an excruciating whoosh.

"Please…." Bella's voice pleaded, and I could see her body as it was being held upright in front of _Dominus_, the flickering of a silver blade against her neck making me realize just how foolish I'd been to draw attention to myself like that.

"Please…no….." In the silence that had fallen across the room, Bella's whispered pleas echoed like thunderbolts. "Please…..don't hurt him….I'll do anything….."

Aro laughed as if she'd said something funny. "Oh, you will, my dear. I will see to it that no wish of mine is going to be denied. The boy however….."

The hand not holding a knife to Bella's throat motioned for the guards to bring me forward, my body protesting every step of the way – from pain, exhaustion and an overwhelming sense of defeat – as the members of the Volturi sat in a laden silence, their pleasures forgotten now that there were more serious matters afoot.

"I'm sorry," Bella mouthed, a lone tear dripping from the corner of her eye before it closed, her body sagging in Aro's hold as it gave way to the poison that had been pumped into it.

I squeezed my eyes shut, trying not to let my body succumb to the fear and despair and powerlessness that threatened to overpower it.

I had to stay strong.

For Bella.

"Volturi….my dear friends," Aro's deep voice cut through the silence. "It is with a very heavy heart that I cut short the festivities of this night's gathering. Please know that it was not my intention to do so…"

His voice trailed off as his gaze shifted, the dark holes in his mask settling on me as he continued. "But apparently this traitor's son standing before you now, disgraced and utterly defeated, thought it necessary to disrupt our gathering, proving that he is no better than the vile creature that sired this undeserving little pest."

His hands waved in my direction as his voice spoke in disgust. "Yes, my friends. Not only do we have here among us today, the child of the woman who deserted us, threatening our secrets and our way of live, but we also have here, in our very midst, the son of the traitor who made it all happen; the traitor who has been trying to sabotage us from the very moment he was initiated!"

An orchestra of hushed whispered, some not knowing what the hell was going on, others speaking in horror as they put the pieces of the puzzle together and figured out what was about to take place.

It was in those last people that I placed my hope.

I could feel my body growing weaker by the seconds, parts of my robe hanging in tatters while others were slowly getting soaked with what could only be my blood as sharp pains continued to assault my strength.

I knew that there was nothing in me that could fight its way out from underneath the scrutiny of my guard again and, since I'd given up hope for an FBI-intervention, my only hope lay now with a revolution. _And the chances of that ever happening were as big as the chances of Elvis and Jim Morrison still being alive and kicking it up on some deserted tropical island. _

"Carlisle Cullen entered the order when he was not much younger than his son is now; a bright young man, his good looks and academic achievements proving to be of great worth to us in the future." I saw a few masked heads nodding in assent as Aro went on. "But his good looks proved to hide an ugly interior, his bright mind poisoned by meanness and egoism that went against every sacred value the Volturi uphold. No sooner had he entered the order than did he tried to betray his oath….."

There were quite a few growls, people hissing at me and some even spitting at my clothes, but other's staying silent this time, the air of distaste clinging to their stillness increasing my hope that maybe that revolution wasn't as unlikely to happen as I thought.

Aro must have felt it too, a slight hint of desperation clinging to his voice as he went on. "He squandered our secrets and poisoned the minds of our members, antagonizing them against us with his lies and his schemes until they saw no other option but to commit the ultimate act of deceit and abandon us."

Aro shook his head in disappointment. "But tonight, my friends, it is our turn."

He let silence linger over the room for a few minutes before he went on. "When you joined this order, you all promised to uphold its values, its secrets and its goals, promising our patron god as well as your brethren to kill all those who posed a threat…..Tonight one of you will fulfill that oath by ending the life of this vile creature you see here in front of us."

I could almost see his glee, radiating off him in waves, as he made his way down the stairs, stopping in front of the daybed that still held Bella's unconscious form. "And as he will die, he will watch as I take pleasure in the one he considered his, knowing that where he's going, there is nothing he can take with him."

"No!" I cried, red hot adrenaline coursing through my frame making my body struggle against its restraints with a renewed, yet still feeble, force. "You keep your fucking hands off of her, you fucking piece of shit!"

Aro's sadistic smile cackled through the air as watched my face contort in a grimace of pain while my guards took their vengeance, but if he'd heard me, he didn't let on. He was far too preoccupied with his own sick games.

"_Marcus_," Aro spoke decisively, stepping around me to address one of the men sitting towards the back, where the food was. "Tonight, I call upon you to fulfill your oath in front of Dionysos, me and all of your brothers and sisters, assembled here today."

"No," a voice gasped, my head whipping in its direction as my brain scrambled to recognize the all too familiar timbre. "Please, _Dominus_, you cannot ask this of me. I will gladly kill another but not one of my own blood….."

"You will do as you are told!" Aro barked. "Or join the traitor in his fate."

'_Marcus'_ hung his head in shame, his hands accepting the dagger offered to him and feebly raising it up as he made his way over to where I stood.

"You don't have to do this," I shook my head, disgust and disbelief fighting for dominance as I watched him approach. "I thought you were better than this. I looked up to you….."

"No one can resist the power of the Volturi," he snorted. "Now even me. I'm sorry, Edward. I never wanted you to end up like this. May God forgive me for what I am about to do."

His hands clasped around the dagger, his arms poised to strike as I closed my eyes, trying not to see how Aro, through my peripheral vision, was starting to disrobe while I prepared myself for the end.

Hands held me down, others pulling my head backwards to expose my neck as I looked straight into my uncle's eyes, challenging him to the end to do the right thing.

"What?" All of us looked up as Aro's cry of surprise crashed through the stifling silence, his eyes widening beneath his mask as sounds from the outside world started to penetrate into the alternate reality we were all suspended in. "No! It can't be…..They could not have found us!"

There was a thundering roar in the air and at first I thought it was just the adrenaline pumping though my veins. Then, as the sounds tuned into voices, guns and other sounds I'd been so desperate to hear, I finally realized that there weren't the sounds of impending death….

They were the sounds of salvation.

The sound s of the cavalry charging in to our defense.

Finally.

Chaos broke loose as soon as others came to the same conclusion, every person in the room scrambling to save their own ass as the first of the SWAT-team members started to pour into the room.

I didn't care one fuck about them or my uncle who had dropped the dagger as if it had been on fire and was running towards the nearest exit, a bunch of others hot on his heels.

All I cared about was Bella, her small body still lying motionless on the bed a few feet away from me as even _Dominus_ had abandoned her to save his own skin.

"Bella," I gasped, my body scorching with pain as I crawled towards her. I knew there wasn't damn thing I could do to get her out of this mess right now, not with my body weak and unable to even get on its own damn feet, but at least I could shield her and try to protect her instead of being exposed to the madness that raged around us.

There was a familiar tingle of electricity coursing from her skin to mine as I took her hand, my lungs burning for air as I finally reached her but before I could rejoice in it and let it strengthen me enough to complete my task, I felt a scorching pain rise up from my abdomen making me cry out as I turned towards it origin.

"You didn't think I was going to let you get away that easily, didn't you boy?" the menacing voice of the leader of the _Punitori_ sneered.

I knew I was bleeding out fast, what strength I had giving out as my ears picked up the loud bang of gunfire, the body of my nemesis recoiling as it got hit but his eyes remaining on me, even as a trickle of blood seeped from his mouth over the pristine white of his mask. "Tonight we both dine in hell."

I cried out in pain as his body fell on top of mine, driving the knife that was sticking out of me even further into my skin as my hand held onto Bella, my eyes using the last of their focus to drink in her beautiful sleeping form as slowly the chaos around me got drowned out by silence.

_Nothingness_.

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	32. Chapter 32

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. I am in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise, I just use their creations to have my wicked way with them. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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_**This story wouldn't be what it is without my wonderful beta, **_**The Real Teacher**_**, holding my hand and correcting my many errors. Thank you so much!**_

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**- 31 -**

"Ow." My throat felt raspy and it felt like there was an elephant sitting on my chest whacking me over the head with its trunk at every chance it got.

The sound of my own voice, raspy and weak, echoed through my head. _Strange, I'd never realized how weird I sounded._

The second sound I was able to make out was an annoying, monotone beeping sound coming from somewhere close to my head. Which wasn't a good soundtrack to accompany the killer headache I seemed to be sporting.

How the hell did end up like this?"

_Ah yes._

The memories of the minutes that preceded my current state of incapacity drifted back into the forefront of my mind, the bleeping sound speeding up as I remembered slowly crawling over to Bella's unconscious form as all around me hell broke loose; guns were being fired, people were screaming and trying to get out before the cops would arrest them and _Dominus_ – coward as he was – held a dagger to his own chest as he watched with dead eyes as his empire fell apart around him.

But I couldn't find it in myself to care. Not about him, not about the small shape cloaked in vibrant red and black that fled through a side door along with a few others, not about the gunshots that were being fired…the only thing I was focus on was her. _I had to save her._

"Edward!" a sweet, slightly throaty voice came from beside me. "Oh my God. Is his heart supposed to beat this fast?"

There was a murmur of voices in the background but hers was the only one I heard, my whole being attuned to the sweet sound of it as she managed to get the whole room in an uproar within the blink of an eye.

_Bella._

_She was alive._

_She was here._

_She was alive._

_We were going to be okay. _

And I was pretty sure the Volturi weren't, seeing as the darkness that had surrounded me in the mansion seemed to have given way to light. _Waaaaaaay too much light as far as I'm concerned! _I could feel the brightness of it burning through my closed eyelids, feeding my headache even through closed eyes.

"W-where?" I managed to get the word out even though my voice protested every damn letter vehemently.

"You're in a hospital," Bella explained, understanding me even though I was speaking in riddles. "Seattle Presbyterian to be precise."

_Thank God!_

Not that I really liked hospitals or anything, but it was better than the marble floor in the Volturi mansion. _Hell, everything was better than that!_

"Too much light…." I rasped the light fading to a more acceptable level of brightness almost immediately.

"Is that better?" This time it was mom's voice. "I don't think I can turn of any more of the lights in this room myself, but if it's still too bright for you I could always ask one of the nurses…."

"It's fine, mom," I croaked, forcing all of my energy into my efforts to pry one eye open.

_And – fuck me – it worked!_

_Aaaand I should have taken my mom up on her offer to kill more of the lights when I had the chance. _

I blinked furiously against the flashes of bright light and the moisture in my eyes as slowly but surely the blurry image of Bella started to appear.

She was biting her lip, her brows pulled into an adorable frown as she studied me.

_My Bella. _

"Hey," she whispered, her mouth splitting into a smile so wide it could light up the town.

I managed a small smile of my own, my chafed lips hurting a little as I forced them to stretch beyond their current capacity. "Hey."

"I'm so glad you're awake." The mattress sagged as she carefully sat down on top of it, her hand lifting mine to her lips and pressing a gentle kiss on it. "You had us worried for a little while."

"I'm sorry," I croaked, turning my hand around so that I could brush my fingers along her cheek, noticing only now how pale they looked and how there were dark, purple bruises underneath her eyes. "You look like crap."

"Thanks a lot!" She rolled her eyes at me but her frame was shaking with suppressed laughter as she shook her head. "It's not like you could win _Mister Universe_ in your current state either, though!"

"I think it's the scar," mom joked, the look on her face making it very obvious that she'd defected to Team Bella.

Bella nodded furiously. "Or all of the tubes sticking out of him. I think that would be a definite no-no for the _Mister Universe_ judges."

_Wait a minute…._

I frowned. "What the hell are you two talking about?"

They both turned serious again. Bella's eyes turning awfully watery as her eyes flittered between me and all the machinery that appeared to be hooked up to my body. _Funny how I never noticed it until right then. Then again, I guess I had other priorities…._

"Edward." I looked up at my mom, noticing how her eyes, like Bella's had gone a little blurry. "When the paramedics brought you in…"

She took a deep breath, her hands aggressively wiping away the tears that had formed in the corners. "You had several stab wounds; some of them severe, others not so much so….Thank God. Anyway….you went into cardiac arrest in the ambulance and they had to shock your heart twice to get you back to us…"

Her whole frame started to tremble and I reached out my free hand, hers wrapping around it immediately like it was some kind of life buoy. "You had lost so much blood…..You see, one of those stab wounds had ruptured your spleen and they had to take it out to save your life….."

I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to process all of the information_. I'd lost my spleen. Was that a bad thing? I thought so, since there was no point in me even having a spleen if I didn't need it for something….but what did that mean?_

"They managed to stabilize you in the OR but still…you've been asleep for quite some time and….and we came so close to losing you…"

Bella took over when my mom's voice gave out to her sorrow. "I think what Esme's trying to say is that you were pretty banged up when they wheeled you in here, but you're going to be okay now." Her hand gave mine a small squeeze as she looked at me, her face cautious as if she was trying to gauge my reaction.

_Hmmm. So apparently I'd been bleeding, dying, shocked back, separated from my spleen and sleeping it off ever since. _

"That would explain the elephant." I hadn't realized I'd spoken the words out loud until I heard the pearling sounds of laughter coming from Bella and my mom.

Bella tried to look affronted but the shaking of the bed told me she was laughing as hard as mom was. "First you say I look like crap and now you're calling me an elephant?" she mock-huffed. "I think I liked you better when you were still unconscious!"

We were interrupted by the sound of a throat being scraped, Bella immediately tensing on the edge of the bed, her trembling fingers folding so tightly around the steel frame that her skin turned white.

"Ah, I see the patient has awoken," a man's voice spoke from the doorway.

I kept my eyes on Bella, noticing how she closed her eyes, her whole frame relaxing again as she recognize the voice. "Doctor Martins," she breathed.

"Finally," my mom's voice added sharply. "My son's been awake for God knows how long and no one has been by to check on him. Is that what you call 'taking excellent care of him'? Because if you do, you and I need to have a serious conversation about what that entails!"

_Ouch! Harsh!_

The poor Doctor, a young guy – probably just out of medical school – blushed with embarrassment as my mother moved to the side to let him do his work. "I'm sorry it took me a little longer to get here," he fumbled as my mother continued to glare at him from her new position over by the window. "The recent….._issues_ at Seattle Grace have left us with quite an influx of patients and so we're a little short staffed at the moment."

I had a feeling those issues had everything to do with my recent brush-in with the Volturi but, seeing as the good doctor was about to do a check up on me, which I gathered could get rather painful if he wanted it to, I held my mouth. _I had pain aplenty as it was, no need to add more to it by running my mouth. I'd learned my lesson well, thank you very much. _

With my mother and Bella banished to the far corner of the room so that the doctor could do his work, the guy finally turned to me. "How are you feeling, Mr. Cullen?"

I snorted, wincing as the movement made my chest erupt in a flare of pain. "Fabulous, doc. Never better!" I wheezed.

"Hmm," was all the answer I got as Dr. Martins tapped the bag of fluids that was hooked up to my hand. "From the look on your face I gather that you're in quite a bit of pain right now."

When I nodded he fiddled a bit with the settings on the drip before making a note of it on my chart. "I've increased the dosage of your pain medication. You should be starting to feel better soon, if that doesn't happen, feel free to call a nurse and have them adjust your dose."

Mom frowned as she caught me rolling my eyes. _Yeah right! Like that was gonna happen! I might as well lob off my balls and change my name from 'Edward' to 'Sissy' while I was at it._

The doctor didn't notice, though, since he was already going over my chart and checking a few numbers on the machines they had me hooked up to."Your heart rate and blood pressure are as they should be," he mused, "I am a little bit concerned about your urine output, but it is still within range…" It took me a while to add two and two together and surmise that the little bag that was hanging to the side of the bed was actually attached to my dick and held a tiny little dreg of yellowish fluid which I gathered must be the 'urinal output' the doctor was talking about. _Great! My doc was discussing my piss in front of my girlfriend. I think that just about kills every chance of me getting laid in the near future!_

The doctor meanwhile, unaware of the killing effect his actions would have on my future sex life went on, nodding as he rifled through my chart. "Yes, it doesn't seem as if the area sustained any severe damage from the attack, so we'll just monitor it for now in the hope that it will pick up."

"D-do you want me to…you know…step out for a couple of minutes?" Bella's voice sounded a few octaves higher as she spoke, her face hidden by the metal plate at the foot of my bed.

As mortified as I was at the moment, even the thought of her walking out of the room where I couldn't see her or protect her (though really, what kind of protecting could I do from my bed, hooked up to all kinds of geekware?) made my chest hurt more than a dozen stab wounds ever could. "No!" I forced out, struggling in vain to sit up far enough to look at her.

In the end I had to give up, the combined efforts of the elephant still sitting on my chest and my not-so-good doctor pushing me back as he threatened to put me in soft restraints finally making me stop my efforts to sit up. "Stay….._Please_," I breathed, gasping for air as I let my body fall back against the lumpy pillows.

She nodded, biting her lip as she sat back down next to my mom, her small, frail looking figure almost swallowed whole by her chair.

_She looked like a ghost; like someone had gone and stolen the life right out of her._

_If only I could get my hands on Aro Volturi…._

The beeping of the heart monitor sped up again as my mind started to fill with all kinds of scenarios to kill Aro: slowly and even more painful than he had been in his attempts to kill me.

Straining my neck to look past the huge, hulking bed frame, I noticed how Bella's eyes kept flittering to the door as if to check if it was still safe, her body tensing the minute she picked up on any unpredicted sounds.

"Mister Cullen?" I frowned as Dr. Martins demanded my attention again, my eyes unwillingly leaving Bella to travel back to the man with the chart. "I'm sure your mother told you that when you were brought in here, you were bleeding profusely from an abdominal wound….."

He waited for me to nod that I understood before he went on. "On your way to the hospital the amount of blood you'd lost by then caused your heart to go into cardiac arrest and the paramedics had to shock your heart back to a normal rate using a defibrillator."

I heard a small gasp followed by a string of gut wrenching sobs as my mother enveloped Bella in a hug I was slightly envious of as she cried her own silent tears.

I frowned; looking back up at the doctor as I tried to process the information I'd just been given. "You….you mean I was dead?"

"Technically, yes," he reluctantly admitted, "but they managed to restart your heart even before you were brought into the Emergency Room."

I swallowed hard, still trying to wrap my head around the fact that apparently I'd been this close to death. "That's great, I guess?"

Dr. Martins couldn't stop a small snicker from escaping behind the mask of professionalism that they must have soldered to his face sometime during medical school since it was the same kind of face my dad pulled when he didn't want people to know what he was really thinking.

"My colleagues in the ER managed to stop the bleeding but they also assessed that the damage done to your spleen was so substantial that they had to take you up to the operating room to perform a complete splenectomy."

"Ectomy…That's when they take out stuff, isn't it?" I muttered, remembering the sound of the word from back in the day when I still wanted to be a doctor and hung on my dad's every word when he told me about his day at work.

"It is." The doctor nodded. "In this case your spleen was removed; unfortunately through open surgery instead of our preferred laparoscopic approach to the procedure."

"And….. that's bad?' I asked, the hand not hooked up to an awful amount of high-tech equipment coming up to rub my forehead and almost poking an eye out since my tactile sense apparently wasn't quite up to par yet.

"It doesn't have to be," Dr. Martins was quick to assure me. "We just prefer to go in laparoscopically because it lessens the invasiveness of the procedure and speeds up the recovery process but in cases like yours, where there is extensive trauma to the abdomen that just isn't an option."

I nodded. "So what does this mean?"

"It means that for the next couple of days you have to take it easy," the doctor explained. "If your blood levels stay the way they are now and your urinary output picks up, you could be released as early as tomorrow, provided you keep to strict bed rest for the next five or so days and minimal exercise for the week after that."

"So soon?" I gasped. Not that I didn't want to get out of this damned hospital bed as soon as possible, but when I thought of surgery, I'd always thought it would take months to recover from it.

"You'd need to take it easy for a little while but clinical tests have shown that the recovery process in this particular procedure actually speeds up when patients start to slowly ease back into their normal everyday life after a week or so of giving the body time to heal. Of course, it is adamant that you listen to the signs of your body when you do get back on your feet," the doctor insisted. "So no strenuous activity or 'pushing boundaries' for another two weeks or so and I would suggest holding off on going back to work during that period as well."

"Right," I breathed_. Not that I intended to barge back into the Masen & Platt offices anytime soon. Not after what I'd seen….._

"And there would have to be a few lifestyle adjustments to minimize the risk of septicemia," Dr. Martins went on, making my head spin. "The spleen may be an organ your body can function without, that doesn't mean it's useless. Your spleen helps keep your body free of infections and decreases the risk of septicemia or blood poisoning. To minimize the risk of sepsis or, in the worst case, OPSI, or Overwhelming Post-Splenectomy Infection, we have already started you on a cocktail of vaccinations which should be repeated periodically. You should also make extra precautions when travelling or when you undergo any type of surgery."

By that time my head was spinning, which must have shown because the doctor took pity on me. "We will provide you with a brochure on what you should and shouldn't do when you get released but for now all you need to know is that you're in excellent care and that, in time, you're expected to make a full recovery."

"Thanks ….I guess…" I managed to croak, the amount of information poured over me making me feel awfully tired all of a sudden.

I could hear the voices of my mother and the doctor discussing….stuff as I slowly drifted back into sleep, but the only thing I cared about was Bella's small hand wrapping around mine the minute I reached out for her, her sweet feminine scent comforting me like no amount of pain medicine could as I forced my eyes open one last time. "Love…..you….." I managed to croak, the blurry vision of Bella smiling back at me being the last thing I saw before I drifted back to sleep.

**- x -**

It was dark when I woke up again, but that didn't say all that much since the days were becoming shorter almost by the minute.

"Bella?"

I could feel the pressure of her hand on mine almost the second I called out her name. "I'm here," her beautiful voice spoke as she appeared in front of me, her face a little less haggard than it had been earlier today – or was that yesterday?

When I opened my eyes this time, the world wasn't spinning as much as it had done before and my body felt a whole lot better – more like _me_ again now that the pain had diminished to a dull and distant ache.

I scratched my head as I looked around the room, fully taking in the Spartan surroundings of a standard hospital room-for-one. "Mom?" I couldn't remember everything the doctor had said but I didn't recall him telling me I'd suffered brain damage due to a blow to the head resulting in me only being able to utter monosyllabic sentences.

Bella chuckled, probably as 'impressed' by my ability to only use single words as I was. "She stepped out to have some dinner while you were asleep. Or – more aptly put: I ordered her to go home, change and eat since she'd been stuck inside this 'charming' little room for the last two days."

I could almost feel; her rolling her eyes and I could imagine the epic clashing of the stubborn minds that must have preceded my mom's departure. "She'll be back soon, though. Do you need anything?"

I shook my head, immediately concluding that it may be a little bit too soon to make such a move, as her words finally registered.

_Wait a minute….days?" _

"What day is it?" I croaked.

"Wednesday," she answered. "You woke up this morning, but you've been asleep for most of the day."

"Wednesday?" I frowned, my headache picking up again as I tried to make sense of the time that seemed to be missing. _Bella disappeared on a Sunday and the day after that I was taken to the mansion…that meant a whole day had gone missing….._

Bella's hand squeezed mine, pulling me out of my thoughts. "We were brought into hospital early on Tuesday morning and they spend most of the day fixing you up. I think Esme told me you woke up briefly in the Recovery room, but you were still so out of it that you probably don't remember so today is the first time you woke up being 'all there'."

"What about you?" I felt like the worst boyfriend in the world for not asking about that before. _Here I was lying about feeling sorry for myself when she'd been though hell. Worse than that….._

The change in her was imminent. I could feel her clamming up almost immediately as she shrugged. "I'm fine."

"Bella-"I insisted.

"I am," she insisted sharply. "I woke up early Tuesday morning and that was it. I don't want to talk about it."

"But-"I tried, only to be cut short immediately.

"I _told_ you I didn't want to talk about it," she snapped, her words coming out in a little angry growl that would have been adorable if the loudness of her voice didn't hurt so much.

She sighed, obviously noticing my discomfort. "I don't want to argue with you, Edward. I'm just not ready to talk about it. Not yet, anyway."

Rubbing circles on the back of her hand with my thumb, I took a few minutes to look at her. "You're alright?"

She shrugged. "I'm as good as I'll ever be, I guess," she lied. "The doctor cleared me to get out of this joint as soon as I woke up and they did some checkups. It's just kinda hard getting back into the real world…..you know?"

I nodded, though in reality I could only guess what she was going through.

I knew she looked like hell and, due to my lack of verbal filter, she already knew I knew. It was obviously from her pallor and the dark circles underneath her eyes that she wasn't sleeping and the shallow undertone in her complexion made me guess she wasn't eating all that much either.

"Anyway," she went on. "Mom and dad are still here and I guess…Having them around helps."

I nodded. "I can see why that would." I knew having her and my mom around when I woke up sure as hell helped me 'adjust'. I could only imagine how it must have been like for her.

_She'd had it so much worse than I had, even if she got off relatively unscathed. At least….on the outside…._

"Mom's going back to Jacksonville tomorrow, though. It's why your mom left just now, actually. She'll have dinner now so she can be here when dad comes to pick me up. He and mom are taking me out to dinner tonight, though I really wish I didn't have to…" She sighed, her lips pulling into a small, tense line. "Being back here….it's kind of hard on her after everything that happened and Phil has to go back because of his kids and…well….she told me she couldn't stand being here all by herself…and I guess I don't handle _having_ her here all that well either."

I tried to keep my face neutral while on the inside I was seething, my old feelings about Renee propelling back to the surface as I watched Bella struggle to keep her face from crumbling. _How could she just abandon her daughter like that when she needed her mother more than anything? They needed to talk and they needed time to heal…._Bella_ needed time to heal. How could she ever do that if her mom slinked back off to her normal, happy life the minute she knew her daughter was safe?_

"Really, Edward," Bella tried to soothe me. "I understand why she doesn't want to be here. The police and the press are hounding her every step she takes and I….well, I don't really _need_ her and dad's going to be around for a few more days….." She let her words trail off, her shoulders pulling up in yet another shrug. "I'll be fine. _Really_."

I had a feeling she was trying to convince herself even more than she was trying to convince me.

I hoped she was buying it, because I sure as hell wasn't.

We fell back into silence – a very uncomfortable silence – as Bella fidgeted with the sleeve of her shirt while I kept trying to come up with (and immediately dismissing) ways to address the huge elephant in the room without her snapping at me or clamming up like some overprized kind of oyster.

"I'm sorry," she muttered after a while, a lone drop of water splattering from her eyes onto my hand as my treacherous eyes were already almost drooping shut from the silence and fatigue caused by excessive thinking.

"What for?" I drawled, trying to force my mind back into operative-mode.

"You wouldn't be in here if it wasn't for me," she spoke, so softly I almost couldn't hear her over the bleeping of the machines I was still hooked up to. "Hell, I wouldn't have ended up in here if it wasn't for me. If only I could have just …"

I put my hand on her arm, trying to pull her out of whatever kind of funk she'd landed herself in that had her shivering like the room temperature had dropped to arctic levels. "Hey?" She looked up, her eyes begging for something I wasn't sure I could deliver. "It wasn't your fault, sweetheart. They would have gotten to us no matter what."

She snorted. "But I just had to make it easy on them, didn't I? I never think….."

"And neither do I," I interrupted her. "Which is probably why we're meant to be together."

My heart skipped a beat as I finally got her to smile, a fact that didn't escape her notice. "I guess so, huh?" she snickered, though there was still way too much sadness clinging to her voice.

"Yeah," I breathed, moving my hand from her arm to her cheek.

"You got hurt, though," she stated, her bottom lip trembling slightly as her eyes drifted to the spot where the sheets and my hospital gown covered up my surgical scar. "They could have killed you…."

"But they didn't," I insisted.

"Yeah, well, they could have," she repeated, a little more urgently this time, "and I was too far out of it to even realize what the hell was going on before it was too late."

"You didn't know."

"I should have fought harder," she sobbed. "I should have tried…."

"They had knives, Bella," I stopped her, "and guns too, probably. You could have gotten yourself hurt….."

"But that's just it!" she cried. "Don't you see, Edward? _You're_ the one lying in the hospital bed minus your spleen while I'm sitting here with nothing but a few bad memories and the realization that drugs – indeed – are bad! It should have been _me_!"

I sighed, closing my eyes for a second to ward off the overwhelming fatigue. "It's no use trying to think of the 'what if's', Bella," I finally sighed. "What happened, happened and the most important thing is that we both got out of it alive. We have to move on, not keep looking back and wondering if we could have prevented this. That's no way to live…."

"Says the guy who'll be needing shots to ward off infections for the rest of his life," Bella grumbled.

I rolled my eyes. "Come here." I used my free arm to pull her down, her small body squeezing into the cramped space my hospital bed afforded. "It doesn't matter."

She sorted. "Yeah, right."

"Look at me," I ordered, waiting until she – reluctantly – complied. "It. Doesn't. Matter. As long as we're safe and together and I get to take you out on that date I promised you, I'll be willing to put up with a whole lot of discomfort. And you heard the doctor….as long as I'll take care of myself, I should be just fine."

She sighed, her body relaxing somewhat in my feeble hold, though I wasn't naïve enough to think I'd won the battle.

Bella Swan might have taken pity on my poor tired ass tonight but I knew that in that mind of hers she was still blaming herself for what happened.

It didn't matter, though, at least not for now. For now I was content to have her in my arms and know that whatever happened, she'd still be there when I'd wake up. "I love you," I mumbled, breathing in her lovely scent as I slowly drifted back into unconsciousness.

Her voice sounded hazy, barely pricking though the clouds of sleep and recovery as she answered me. But I heard her none the less. "I love you too."

**- x -**

This time when I woke up again, it was just me and my mom, her poised silhouette barely visible in the dimmed light of the room as she sat by the window, reading a book by the light of the moon.

Bella must have left to have dinner with her parents while I'd been asleep.

I tried not to let that get to me too much, reminding myself that sooner or later I'd have to let go of her if I didn't want to lose her forever. As much as I was in favor of it, Bella probably wouldn't enjoy being tied to me with a solid steel cable for the rest of her life.

Still, I couldn't help but feel anxious, not having Bella within reach. _She should never be this far away from me. _

_We should never be apart. _

Knowing my mom wasn't aware of the fact that I was awake gave me some time to study her – the _real_ her – without having her mask in place, which was something that had only happened a handful of times in my life.

My mom had always been so composed, even in times when she was suffering or confused or angry. She'd always hidden behind her own kind of mask and buried her feelings somewhere deep inside of her….someplace only she was privy to.

Like with Bella, there were lines underneath her eyes indicating that she hadn't had a decent night's sleep for days and her body seemed unnaturally thin, even though she'd tried to hide it by wearing an extra thick vest over her usually elegant dress.

What had happened had almost destroyed her, yet here she sat, determined to make sure _I_ was alright.

I'd failed her.

And I'd failed myself.

When I moved back here I'd promised myself to look out for her, but all I'd done was selfishly focus on my own affairs, leaving her to run around and pick up the pieces while she was still trying to deal with the aftershock of having her husband arrested for murder. Instead of lightening her burden, I'd only added to it.

Well, no more.

Being friends with Alice and Jasper had made me realize just how selfish and unappealing I'd made myself to people around me and winning Bella back after I thought I'd lost her forever had finally showed me the true meaning of loving someone.

It wasn't just in hollow phrases or idle promises…..No, loving someone meant that you wanted to make sure your loved ones were safe, happy and protected at all times, even if it went at the cost of your own happiness or safety.

_Too bad it had taken me almost thirty years to find that one out….._

As I watched my mother squint to read the little letters on paper, I made a solemn vow to make her smile more and try to make her forget the fact that her family had just pulled the rug from underneath her feet.

"You shouldn't do that," I croaked, startling mom up from her reading. "It's bad for your eyes."

"Edward!" she gasped, almost falling from her seat in surprise. "You shouldn't startle people like that! The fact that we're already in hospital doesn't mean that giving someone a heart attack is somehow socially acceptable!"

"Well, I thought you were supposed to be watching _me_?" I pouted in jest.

She recomposed herself with a slight chuckle. "I couldn't help myself. The company was rather quiet tonight and it was all I could do to keep myself awake."

I arched my brow. "Are you accusing me of being a bore now, mother? Me? Your own son? I'm hurt!"

"Oh, hush!" she grumbled, her eyes drifting over all of the medical crap that was still attached to my body and bleeping away merrily as it tried to keep my sorry ass alive. "You know full well that I didn't mean it like that! You were asleep for goodness sake!"

I chuckled. It had always been too easy to get my mom riled up like that. "I know, mom. I was just kidding."

I shrugged when she narrowed her eyes at me. "What? I've got to do something to pass the time while I'm still on bed rest."

The mention of my injuries immediately made her snap back into mom-mode. "How are you feeling, honey?" she asked anxiously, her eyes scanning my face for any signs of something being wrong (other than the obvious, of course).

"Better than I did before," I replied honestly. "I know it's mostly the drugs doing all the hard work, but at least I feel like my brain is working in tandem with the rest of me now….."

Mom smiled, her cold hands brushing a strand of hair out of my face. "That's good to hear."

"Did you find out anything more about when I'm getting out of here?" I grumbled as I struggled to find enough support for my shoulders in the lumpy pillow and the mattress that was just a fraction too hard to be comfortable.

"Dr. Martins dropped by while you were asleep," mom spoke. "He maintained that if your recovery keeps up the way it does now, you'll be released tomorrow afternoon."

I snorted. "So I guess that means I've generated enough piss to keep him happy?"

"Edward!" Mom gasped, though she wasn't able to mask her amusement with enough horrification to make it credible. "I guess he was more than satisfied with what he found."

I had to give my mom credit for talking about my bodily functions without ever going into detail. It had been the way she'd been raised: never give offense, never show emotion and always – and that did mean always – stand by your man. Which reminded me…..

"How are you holding up, mom?" I asked, because it had to be hard for her knowing what happened; knowing that not only had her husband been a member of a criminal organization throughout their married life, but now her brother as well…

"It hasn't really kicked in yet," mom replied in a low voice. "I keep thinking I'm going to wake up to find that this has all been some horrible kind of nightmare…"

I sighed. "I wish it was." It was a lie, or a half-truth at least, because if this was all a nightmare and I would wake up in my swanky apartment in Boston, it would also mean that I would lose Bella.

"How's dad?" I asked, trying to take my mind of the horror scenario of having to start all over again. _Having to _hate_ all over again._

She shrugged, her shoulders tense as she turned her face away. "He's holding up I guess."

I frowned, something about her reaction striking me as odd and very unlike mom. "You guess?" Not that I could blame her for her indifference and, to be honest, I kinda felt the same, but coming from her it was rather new.

"We haven't really been talking all that much over the last few days." Her face was hard as she stared out in front of her, her hands folded into a tight ball in her lap. "He's been keeping himself busy by talking to the police and whatever else he does around the house to keep himself occupied throughout the day…"

"He's still on house arrest?" I asked. _This didn't make sense. They had the Volturi now, didn't they? Why were they still going after dad?_

"According to the police, their new evidence against the Volturi does nothing to cancel out the evidence they have against your father in the Jane Foster murder case," mom explained in a completely detached voice that sounded almost creepy. "From what I've heard they are open to negotiations and Garrett has good hope that they'll at least be willing to take the death penalty off the table and look at other scenarios, but with all of the evidence they have against Carlisle, they'd be mad to drop the charges."

She sighed, smoothing her hair behind her ears as – for a tiny moment – the façade broke to reveal a hint of the pain and sorrow those words had made her feel. "I've told him how you were doing, of course, and he sends his love."

"Oh." For all the years I've waited for my mom to finally see dad for who he really was, I had to admit that now that I'd finally gotten there, I didn't feel an ounce of the satisfaction I was meant to fell.

In fact, it kind of stung.

"I don't feel like I know him anymore, Edward," mom breathed. "But most of all I fell like a fool for defending him for so many years when in reality…." Her voice waivered as she tried to fight off her emotions.

"Mom-," I tried, only to have her interrupt me almost immediately.

"I've always known that there was a part of him he was keeping from me, but I never knew….." She shook her head. "I was naïve enough to think that it had something to do with the man he was before I met him….before we married…..That he'd buried all of that in the past."

She looked her me, her eyes sad and far away. "I knew he got around back in the day. I mean….he was a handsome young guy from a good family…..There were bound to be women and….other things. I just thought that whatever happened between the two of you had something to do with the kind of stuff he got up to back then."

"You weren't that far off the mark," I shrugged.

Mom sighed. "I never thought he'd be capable off…..God, I've been so naïve! I thought that he was a man so devoted to his job that even his family had to take the backseat. When he took a lease on that downtown apartment of his, he told me that it was so that he would be able to get some sleep during busy weeks and that he didn't want to bother me. How was I supposed to know that he only did that so that he could meet up with his criminal friends without me finding out? "

She shook her head. "I even talked about it to Eli because I was afraid we'd drift apart even further if he would spend more time at the hospital. I trusted him to guide me and when he told me that everything was going to be alright….that this was the price of being married to a genius man, devoted to his work, I trusted him not to lie to me….."

I took her hand, trying to comfort her as best as I could as mom cried silently. I wasn't stupid enough to tell her everything was going to be alright. I mean, she'd just found out her husband had been a member of a mafiose organization that performed illegal transplants using organs that came from God knew where and her brother had been minutes away from killing her only child before the police barged in.

"What happened to him?" I wanted to know, not really feeling anything when I thought about my uncle. _Which was kind of surprising, since I'd been expecting to hate him after what he'd almost done. _

"He's in prison," mom replied, her voice detached now that the mask was back in place. "He must have known when the police stormed in that that was the end of it because he didn't even try to escape. At least…..that's what they told me."

I frowned, trying to make sense of the jumbled mess my memories of the moments after the FBI had stormed in where. "They were right,' I replied cautiously, a faint outline of a pitiful man lowering a huge dagger as he looked at me with the eyes of a defeated opponent becoming apparent. "He never did want to kill me," I added, as more memories started to come back to me. "But I think he didn't have a choice…."

"You always have a choice," mom snapped. "That's why I don't know if I can stay married to your father. He, like Eli had a choice….and he chose wrongly."

I couldn't help but agree with her. Dad had made the wrong decisions in his life. He'd done so when he joined the Volturi, but more than that he'd done so when he allowed them to take over his life.

Still, having been there and seen what they could make a person do firsthand, I kind of understood in a way, why he'd done it. Those Volturi stopped at nothing to get what they wanted and if they'd threatened to kill mom and me…..well, I could see that hadn't just been a hollow threat. They'd actually have done it. And dad must have known that all along. _God only knew what he'd seen them do over the years…... _

"I'm sorry, Edward." I looked up as mom's voice pulled me out of my thoughts. "You only just woke up and you must be feeling terrible right now. I shouldn't be talking to you about this….."

It's fine, mom," I assured her, though in reality my head was spinning with everything I'd just learned.

"Still," she insisted. "How about we change the subject? I'm getting tired of talking only about misery when we have so much to be thankful about."

She chuckled when I arched my brow in confusion. "You and Bella are both alive and – with some time – will be almost as good as new." Her smile turned mischievous as she went on. "And you're finally back together, just like you belong. I'd say _that's_ good news…."

"Yeah." I couldn't have stopped the wide shit-eating grin from appearing on my face even if I wanted to. It's what thinking about Bella did to me. _Yeah, I was completely whipped and proud of it too…_

"She's just perfect for you," mom gushed. "I always loved her. She's such a great, sweet girl, if I hadn't known that before, the last couple of days have proven that to me even more so, and she's got just the right amount of spunk to keep you in check."

"Mom!" I groaned.

"What?" mom replied innocently. "Even you will have to admit that you had the tendency to be somewhat of an asshole in the past."

I didn't know what shocked me the most about that sentence; the fact that my mother had just uttered the word 'asshole' or the fact that she'd called _me_ one. Not that she wasn't right, though.

"Anyway," she chuckled when she noticed my crestfallen look. "That's all in the past now and I think we mostly have Bella and your new friends to thank for it. I just knew when you mentioned your new 'lady friend' for the first time a couple of weeks ago, that she was going to be the one to turn you around again and when that happened….."

She sighed contently, her hand once again brushing an errant stray of hair out of my face before running along my cheek. "I knew it was her and I couldn't have been happier for you."

"Wait." I frowned. "You knew?"

Mom rolled her eyes. "Of course I did! I carried you around in my womb for nine months and raised you to be the man you are today. I _know_ you, Edward, whether you like it or not. Besides…your poker face has never been quite as good as you think it is."

Before I could come up with a scathing reply we were interrupted by the arrival of a nurse, announcing that it was time for my mother to leave and let me get some rest. _As if I hadn't spend more than enough time asleep already!_

My mom must have caught my glare because she gave me a stern, motherly look, all playfulness suddenly gone from her face. "You listen to what the hospital staff tells you to do, son," she warned me. "You have a busy day ahead of you tomorrow. The police are going to want to talk to you first thing in the morning and if you want to have enough energy left after that to be released, you are going to have to get all the rest you can."

"Yes, mother," I grumbled, allowing her to kiss me goodbye like I was a four year old on his first day of kindergarten.

"You're lucky to have such wonderful people around you," the nurse remarked with a smile as I watched my mother walk out of the room. "She and your girlfriend have hardly left your side ever since you were brought in."

"I know," I nodded, my body already halfway giving into the fatigue that never seemed more than an arm's length away no matter how much sleep I'd had.

I was lucky to have made it out of that mansion alive and relatively intact. I was lucky to be in love with a girl who was willing to forget my past mistakes and love me for the person I was capable of being and I was lucky to have a mother who'd stand by me through pretty much everything…

_I may not have deserved it, but I was one lucky son of a bitch. _

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_**This story is by no means over now that Edward and Bella have made it out of the Volturi mansion alive. Believe me, I've got a few more tricks up my sleeve for this one…..;-)**_

_**For those looking to read something that's a little easier on the angst: I've contributed a oneshot for the Fandom Against Domestic Violence fundraiser. Those of you who contribute to this very important cause (and one that's very close to my heart) will receive a compilation of one shots, companion pieces and short drabbles from a great many amazing authors as well as my own humble (well, that is if you call 12,000 words of fluffy goodness in the Italian sun humble) contribution. A teaser for it can be found on page ten of the twilighted thread for Absolution (twilighted thread. **__**www . twilighted . net / forum / ?f=44&t=13706&p=1167881#p1167881) Though my next story will be based on it (be it very roughly) the oneshot will be available exclusively to those who donate. **_

_**You can make a donation by going to the fundraiser site **__**http:/ fandomagainstdomesticviolence . blogspot . com/ (remove the spaces) or by contributing a minimum of $10 directly to https:/ www . givedirect . org ?CID=850 (remove the spaces) and forwarding your receipt to **_**fandomagainstdomesticviolence (at) gmail (dot) com**

_**Follow me on twitter for updates on my writing and everything else. I'm missbaby25 over there. **_

_**Loved it? Hated it? Please let me know. As always….reviewers will receive a teaser for the next chapter. **_


	33. Chapter 33

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. I am in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise, I just use their creations to have my wicked way with them. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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_**This story wouldn't be what it is without my wonderful beta, **_**The Real Teacher**_**, holding my hand and correcting my many errors. Thank you so much!**_

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**- 32 -**

"I'll have the garden salad and a glass of water," I ordered with a sigh, nothing on the menu looking particularly appealing to me.

It was bad enough that they'd dragged me from the hospital to have dinner with them without me having to force anything past the huge big old lump of fear that seemed to have taken up permanent residence in my throat. As if sitting here, forcing my lips into a smile every now and then and trying not to freak out over every single little fucking thing that happens around me weren't big enough tasks for me to keep myself busy with throughout the night.

_Yeah, I was about as far away from normal as I could get…..but I didn't want to talk about it._

_Not even to myself._

I shifted, making sure my turtleneck sweater and loose hair hid the hideous, god-awful mark the Volturi had left on me from sight.

_Only two more weeks until my first laser appointment. _

_Two weeks that couldn't go by fast enough._

They'd warned me that, all modern tricks aside, there'd always be some kind of smear visible at the back of my neck; a visible reminder of what I went through.

A visible reminder that, no matter how much Edward and I could move on and try to come to terms with the past, it would always be there.

In his scars.

In my scars.

I froze as a table next to us erupted in uproarious laughter; a hand coming from out of nowhere and wrapping me in a protective embrace of comfort and '_Old Spice'_ and dad while from the corners of my eyes I could see my mom glaring at the unsuspecting merrymakers.

"You'll be fine, kiddo," dad's voice spoke in my ear. "You're doing great."

Dad had tried to make things as easy as he could for me. Not only had he made sure to book a table at a restaurant that was a whole lot swankier than the kind of places he'd usually visit in the hope that the equally swanky clientele would be easier for me to deal with than the regular steakhouse attendants, he'd also made sure our booth was all the way to the back of the restaurant and had paid through the nose to keep the two booths next and across from us empty while we were here.

_Which was why I'd gone as far as order a salad and would do my best to force it down my throat. _

_It was the best I could do for now. _

From across the table I could see my dad's eyebrows pull into a frown. "You have to eat something, sweetheart. You're skin and bones as it is and this stuff ain't done nothing to remedy that. You need some red meat in ya," he insisted. "Come on….that prime rib looks good."

I felt the chunks rise in my throat as I looked at what his finger pointed out on the menu: half a kilo of prime American beef served in a puddle of gravy, mashed potato and a few leaves of lettuce sticking out here and there to keep up the pretense of a 'healthy' meal.

Of course it looked good to him. I think that was what dad's description of heaven would be like. Beef, beer and a never-ending supply of ESPN on some kind of big ass screen. "No thanks," I huffed. "I'm not that hungry."

"I'll have the fillet mignon with a side of asparagus," mom intervened before dad could try to shove more food down my throat. _I mean, what did I look like? A goose awaiting to be processed into foie grass?_

_I should never have come here. _

_It was a mistake….._

Walking away from Edward when he'd just woken up earlier that day …..it was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. Only the certainty that if I didn't walk away my dad would come and get me had me finally tearing myself away from him, my anxiety building with every step that brought us further apart.

I wanted to be with him

I needed to be with him.

I needed to know that he was alright.

That _we_ were alright.

"Since when have you stopped being a vegetarian?" my dad wanted to know, looking at my mom in confusion.

She shrugged. "A while…..I don't eat it too often but sometimes on special occasions I do like to indulge in a bit of meat every now and then."

Dad snorted. "A bit of meat? I think that steak you just ordered comes in at about eight ounces. I'd call that more than a bit of meat!"

"And I'd call you more than a bit of an asshole!" Mom scowled.

I snickered. It had been like that ever since I woke up, the two of them fighting about just about every single tiny detail.

_I guess that was why their marriage never worked. _

At least their bickering took my mind off…other things. Things I didn't want to talk about. Things that magically appeared to torture me every time I closed my eyes. Things that had almost killed the man I loved….

"Mom! Dad!" I intervened, trying to make my voice sound lighter than I felt. "Please, pipe down before they chuck us out. This is supposed to be a respectable establishment, not some kind of market stall where people can go about bickering like…well….and old married couple, though in your case it would be an old _divorced_ couple.."

I snorted as dad looked at me, completely baffled.

I knew I'd just spoken the most consecutive words in a sentence since I'd woken up from my drug-induced coma, but that didn't mean he had to look at me all lobotomized and shit.

"Oh my God, look at the two of you!" my mom shrieked. "If I wasn't so sure of who your father was before, I sure as hell am now!" Knowing she'd said too much she clamped her hands over her mouth as both me and dad stared at her, completely dumbstruck.

"Mom?" I gasped, finally finding my voice as horror and repulsion leapfrogged over each other in my mind as her words slowly started to register.

"Forget I just said that," mom mumbled.

"What did you just say?" dad asked incredulously. "Are you implying that my little girl….." His arm wrapped around me as his voice trailed off, my whole body freezing up not just with the thought of being touched but also with the realizations of the words that has just been said.

_Oh my God, I'm going to be sick. _

_Did that mean that mom thought….._

_No! For heaven's sake! Will I never be free of that man?_

"No, Charlie," mom sighed, both me and dad breathing out a huge sigh of relief. "There may have been a time in the past that I wasn't so sure…..but it's been a long time since and…..I had Carlisle run one of those tests just to be sure. Bella is your daughter, Charlie. I may have done a lot of things in my life I'm not too proud about, but at least I'm not a liar."

Dad needed a few minutes to process her words and frankly so did I, his arm tightening around me as he drew his final conclusion. "So she _is_ my kid."

Mom's brow arched as she snorted. "Have you ever doubted that? Come on! The two of you are like two peas in a pod!"

I let a huge wave of calm and comfort wash over me, conveniently forgetting the fact that she'd just said that me and my heavily mustached father were the spitting image of one another. _Hell, I'd even take the mustache for granted if it meant I'd still get to call him 'daddy'! It would sure as hell beat the alternative!_

"I still can't believe you'd keep a thing like that from me, Renee," dad grumbled. "We lived under the same roof for fifteen damned years and you never told me….."

"I knew I should have spoken up….believe me, I hated myself for not doing it…..I still do….but…" Mom sighed. "I was scared…..and with you being a cop and all of that…..I was afraid you'd get mixed up in stuff that would only get you hurt. And besides….I was so sure that they'd leave me alone once I had Bella….."

I shook my head at my mom's naiveté. _Not that I was surprised by it, though. _

I still didn't know what to think of it all. Really, the whole story of what had happened in the past and how it had affected the events of the last couple of days sounded so….absurd that I had a hard time wrapping my mind around it and coming up with a definite stance on some of the people in my life.

Mom, for instance.

I wanted to blame her. I mean….I had to have someone to yell at, right? And with most people involved in my kidnapping either dead or in jail she seemed to be the prime candidate for the job.

Yet it all seemed so….pointless.

I just wanted everything to go back to normal; for her and Phil to go back to Florida, dad to go back to Forks and me to go back to college and finish doing what I set out to do.

Even though the thought of it alone scared me to death.

"Let's just….I don't know, forget about this for a moment?" mom pleaded. "I mean, the whole idea behind the two of us splashing good cash on a fancy dinner was to connect as a family and spend some time together before I head back to Florida in the morning. Fighting seems like such a waste of time."

And for once I wholeheartedly agreed with my mother.

"Besides," she went on, "we'll have to revisit every single aspect of it all over again when I get back in a couple of months…." Her eyes flittered to me for a second as she let her voice trail off, not wanting to utter the one words that would have me flying off into an anxiety attack faster than Michael Phelps could breast crawl his was across an Olympic pool.

"Fine," dad grumbled, though I was sure that these weren't the final words those two had exchanged about this subject. "So what do you want to talk about?"

"I don't know," mom mused. "Bella?"

I shrugged. "I don't know either. Not a lot of exciting things going on in my life and all….."

"How about Edward?" mom cooed, making me want to slap her in earnest this time for bringing up the one subject that would be more unappealing to dad than the question of my paternity. "You and he seem to have hit it off again…."

"Seriously mom?" I gasped. "You want to bring up boys at the dinner table when dad has just ordered a huge fatty steak? Do you want to give him a heart attack?"

Mom looked so crestfallen that I almost felt sorry for her. "I was only trying to make conversation," she sighed. "You both know how awkward I get in situations like these….."

"It's fine," dad shrugged, making me look up at him in wonder. "I guess Edward isn't as bad a bloke for Bella to hang around with as I thought he would be….."

My eyes nearly budged out of their sockets as I heard my dad speak. "I mean…the boy did risk his life to get her out of…." He let his voice trail off; a fact for which I was insanely grateful since it meant that 'the event which shall remained unnamed' would remain….well, unnamed. "And I guess he likes her enough to do right by her."

"Dad!" I sighed, burying my face into his fancy special-occasion plaid shirt, my nose inhaling the comforting scent of old spice and the great outdoors.

"Yeah…well," he fumbled, awkwardly patting me on the head. "I still reserve the right to bring out the old shotgun when he messes up. I mean…_if_ he messes up."

And with my dad, that was as good as it was going to get.

The rest of dinner passed pretty uneventfully. Mom and dad did their best to catch up on those few 'old times' that didn't involve them pre- during- or post-fight over insane amounts of beef while I sat next to them, trying to stab annoying little pieces of greenery on my fork while trying not to freak out.

I had to commend myself for doing a good job, since never once did I scream, freeze or even gasp during the night. _Which was pretty good for someone who'd only woken up from a drug-induced coma after going through twenty four hours of hell….if I may say so. _

But I knew that none of that would have happened without my mom and dad making sure I was alright through every single facet of the night. They'd made sure we were in a quiet, secluded area of the restaurant. They'd made sure to keep the topic of conversation light and about as far removed from subjects I didn't want to talk about as they could (well, apart from the moment when my mo covertly questioned my paternity). But most of all they made the effort to make me feel normal, which was kind of refreshing after all the hospital visits, police interrogations and well-wishers.

_And it was exactly what I needed. _

By the time we finished up at the restaurant it was already too late to go back to the hospital, bitter experience teaching me that the evil night shift nurses wouldn't let me into Edward's room past 'lights out' no matter what I tried.

I sighed, allowing my parents to lead me back to the car in a comforting and protecting huddle around me, knowing that I would have to satisfy myself with the thought that Edward was awake and on the mend until I could see him again tomorrow morning.

It felt wrong, though.

Not being with Edward…..it almost felt unnatural after everything we'd gone through over the past couple of days. I couldn't explain it. It was a feeling deep down inside of me – a feeling I wasn't even supposed to feel after a relationship that had been established a whopping six days ago – that told me that I _had_ to be by his side, my anxiety immediately flaring up whenever that wasn't the case.

Still, in spite of my anxiety, tonight had been nice. Nicer than I ever imagined it would be.

"Thanks for this," I muttered as dad deftly steered his rental car through the perpetual rush of downtown traffic. "I had….a good time."

I caught my dad's eyes as they briefly flashed to mine through the rearview mirror. "I'm glad to hear that, kiddo," he nodded, looking greatly relieved that the night had gone so well. "I know it must have been hard to leave the hospital and with all those people and all that, but you rallied like a trooper."

Mom chuckled, shaking her head at my dad's use of military terms to describe a nice, quiet family dinner. "You did great, Bella," she said. "I'm glad we got to spend some time as a family."

I smiled. "So am I." And it was the truth, because as much as I loved the fact that both my mom and my dad had seemed to find happiness with their new families, they – the two of them – were mine – _my family_. And no stepmother or stepfather could ever replace the bond I had with either one of them.

Having the three of us together felt good (though in a strange kind of way), even though I completely supported their decision to separate. They may not have had a particularly good marriage or even characters that could be called compatible in any way shape or form, but they shared a mutual history spanning over fifteen years…and they shared me. Through those things their fate would always be tied together which had made them form a strange and fascinating bond.

Nevertheless I could see how happy my mom was the minute dad pulled up in front of the Cullen house and Phil appeared, a broad smile on his face when he spotted mom as she got out of the car and all but sprinted over to him.

I smiled, watching them as they made their way into the house, their arms linked and their heads together as they shared all the news they'd missed while being apart. _After all those years of dating complete duds, Renee Higginbotham may have finally hit the jackpot._

_Who on earth would have thought?_

I didn't get to spend much time with Phil in the few days that had passed since I woke up in hospital on Tuesday morning, but the few scattered moments I did spend with him had convinced me of the fact that he was a great, stand-up kind of guy and exactly the kind of person my mom should be with. _The kind of guy that could keep her grounded. _

"Seems like your mom has finally found herself a keeper, huh?" dad chuckled as he came to stand beside me, a protective arm draped around my shoulder.

I shrugged, inching further into his safety. "Seems like it. She looks happy."

"And what about you?" he asked, his deep concern for me lacing his every word.

"I'm getting there," I replied honestly. "It's gonna take a while, though."

"I know, honey," he nodded. "You made it through tonight, though, and that's one huge step in the right direction. You could eat a little more, and try getting some sleep every now and then….but you're gonna be alright, Bells."

I sighed, extricating myself from dad's hold and taking a few rushed steps in the direction of the door. "I hope so," I muttered as I scurried inside.

Being out in the open still unnerved me even though I knew that the gates surrounding the house were thick, sturdy and riddled with cameras and that the cops had set up a patrol station near the front gate to keep us even safer. It was strange, since I'd just been kidnapped by a bunch of scary criminals out for my blood, but being inside just felt more…safe and controllable. If I had four walls around me I didn't feel so exposed as I did when I was outside.

Or as vulnerable.

"Do you wanna get a drink?" dad offered as he walked after me into the house. "I stumbled across the spot where Carlisle hides his good whiskey the other day…"

"No thanks." I chuckled, knowing that Carlisle had probably shown his stash to dad since I'd spotted the two of them hiding out in his study last night when I snuck across the landing to Edward's room. "I think I'm just going to turn in. It's been a long day today and with mom leaving and Edward getting interviewed by the cops tomorrow….."

Dad nodded. "Well, if you need anything, you know where to find me."

"Thanks, daddy," I smiled, raising myself up to tiptoe to kiss him goodnight. "Drink one for me, will you?"

Sparks of mirth danced in my dad's eyes as he looked back at me. "Will do, Bells."

On my way upstairs, I caught a shimmer of light drifting in from the room next to the front door. _Carlisle's study._

My feet changed direction even before my mind could catch up, my brain only registering what the hell the rest of my body was doing when I'd already knocked on the door.

My hands pushed against the solid oak, revealing an almost darkened room. The only light illuminating it came from the small table-lamp on top of the desk, revealing a slight shade of a man, hunched over the huge antique desk, his face resting in his hands.

"Carlisle?" My voice was barely audible yet he must have heard, because his head whipped up, my breath hitching in my throat as I caught the raw onslaught of emotion in his eyes.

I knew that Carlisle, like my mother, blamed himself for what had happened to me. His feelings were ingrained into his features so sharply that it almost hurt to watch him. Especially since I didn't blame him.

Not at all.

How could I, when I knew he never wanted any of this to happen?

"I-I don't know if Esme already told you…" I started, my voice faltering slightly on the first words, "but Edward is awake and he's doing well. The doctors think he may be released as soon as tomorrow."

His lips pulled into a half-hearted smile as he still stared at me as if he half expected me to be some kind of apparition. "Thank you Bella," he finally spoke. "Esme told me as much when she briefly came back to change."

"Oh." I fidgeted, not quite knowing how to act around this man and the overwhelming feelings of grief and self-hate he exuded.

"I really appreciate you coming over here to tell me, though," he went on. "I didn't expect….."

"I don't blame you," I blurted out, unable to stand his self-deprecation any longer. "I never did."

"I don't believe you." He shook his head incredulously. "I-I can't believe you…."

I shrugged. "It's the truth."

"You _should_ hate me…."

"I don't," I insisted. "I'm not saying that you did a good thing or that I agree with the way you and my mom have been sneaking around and keeping secrets for years, but I don't hate you. You and mom are as much victims in all of this as I was. I know you never meant for any of this to happen….and that you merely did what you thought to be the best way to keep your family safe, even if it turned out differently."

This time his smile was more natural. "Thank you, Bella. You have no idea how much this means to me."

I shrugged. "You're welcome, I guess."

He sighed. "So Edward is doing well?"

"As good as can be expected from someone who's had his spleen cut out of him less than two days ago."

He took another deep breath, exhaling slowly as he rubbed his eyes. "I wish I could turn back the clock to prevent all of this from happening." His hands went to his hair, tugging at the roots in the same way I'd seen Edward do so often. "I would have spared my wife the pain of knowing how mistaken she was in trusting her husband and standing by him through good times and bad and my son…..I could have kept him from destroying himself by giving into his anger for years as well as kept him out of harm's way. But now….He needs me and I can't even leave the house to go to him."

His lips curled up in a self-deprecating smile. "And here I am, burdening you with my misery when you've been through hell and back over the last couple of days."

"It's alright." I smiled, quite amazed by the truth of my words_. Because it was alright._ In some strange way, focusing on the problems other people around me were having, forced my mind off my own demons and they way they were affecting me. "I wish they'd let you get out of here, though. I would have thought…."

Carlisle shook his head. "I have many sins I have to answer for, Bella, and the State of Washington isn't anywhere near as forgiving as you are. No, as much as I hate not being able to be with my son right now. I understand the consequences of my actions….and I accept them."

Just when I was getting ready to speak, the front door opened, the sound of heels echoing across the marble floor telling us that Esme had come back from the hospital.

"Carlisle," she nodded gruffly as she stepped into the column of light coming from the crack in the door, her lips pulling into a smile when she spotted me. "Bella."

"How is Edward doing?" I immediately wanted to know. "Did the doctor say anything about him getting out of there tomorrow?"

"He's asleep right now," Esme answered. "I waited outside his room until I was certain he wasn't going to wake up anytime soon. The doctor came in just after you left and he was very happy – or whatever kind of pleased doctors are when their patients are progressing the way they should. He was almost certain that Edward was going to be released tomorrow, provided he makes it through his interrogation okay."

She turned back to her husband, throwing a wad of paper on his desk. "I wrote everything on his chart down like you asked me to do."

I excused myself, the sudden drop of temperature in the room as well as the feeling that I wasn't supposed to be a witness to whatever was going on in that room at that moment, taking hold and forcing me to backpedal out of the room.

Carlisle and Esme both bade me goodnight, their voices eerily friendly before they turned back to each other, their harsh voices echoing after me as I made my way upstairs to the room that was now mine.

It was a nice room, decorated in soft, friendly tones that made a person feel welcome and comfortable while still keeping in tune with the rich, classy décor of the rest of the house. It was as good a room as I was every going to get.

Still, I couldn't wait to get the hell out of there.

It had started on the first night I was out of the hospital. I'd gone to bed completely wiped out after an excruciating day of police interrogations and anxiety attacks, wanting nothing more than to close my eyes to the world and find peace in the oblivion of sleep. However, after five hours spent fighting against insomnia and the haunting memories of my recent experiences I'd realized I had to get the hell out of my room if I was going to keep my sanity.

The quiet and loneliness were killing me from the inside.

My fingers had started to creep up my neck, making contact with the raised skin at the base of it before retracting as if the image etched into my skin was poison.

_Which wasn't that far off the mark. _

The worst thing about this….this _thing_ that happened ton me…..was that I had no idea of whom I could trust. I mean, if this whole _thing_ had proven anything, it was that _they_ were all around us, acting all normal and shit until it was time for them to strike. The list of names belonging to those who'd been arrested in the aftermath of Monday night had been long as fuck and riddled with the who's who of Seattle society; doctors, lawyers, politicians, cops…..Tyler Crowley…..There were too many to mention and I shuddered as I thought of how many of them were still out there, hoping never to get caught.

It would be easy….I mean, Edward's uncle had done it, right? He'd been able to fool his family, his sister…hell even Carlisle for years! Who knew if one of those sick motherfuckers wasn't lurking around somewhere in my group of friends?

But I couldn't think too long or too hard about that.

I couldn't give in because if I did, it would mean a one-way ticket to a little padded room on the crazy ward. _And I think I've had my share of being locked up in this lifetime, thank you very much. _

So I did what every sane person would do: I suppressed the hell out of it, trying to ignore my problems in the hope they would just magically go away and choosing to focus on the stuff that mattered.

_Edward was alive and so was I._

_We'd made it out of there._

Things were going to be alright and even if there were Volturi out there, lurking in the undergrowth, they'd have a hard time getting past the army of policemen camped out in the Cullens' front yard and the paparazzi outside the gate.

_I was safe inside. _

I sighed, quickly changing out of my clothes and into some comfortable nightclothes that consisted of some sleep pants and a t-shit I'd stolen out of Edward's laundry hamper. When I was done changing and brushing my teeth, I leaned my cheek against the solid oak of the bedroom door, listening closely for any signs of life coming from the hallway before slipping out, my feet carrying my across the hallway to the now familiar surroundings of Edward's bedroom, aka the only place on earth where I could get some rest.

_Note: rest, not sleep. _

I didn't know when I would ever be able to get more than a few minutes of sleep again but I had the sneaking suspicion that getting to that point would involve therapy and more facing of demons than I was prepared to do in the near future.

I sighed, trying to shake off the feelings of panic that welled up inside of me at the mere thought of baring my soul to a complete stranger. After all, who was to tell me that 'stranger' didn't have a lot of prior knowledge about the stuff I was going to unload on him or her?

"Face it, Swan," I muttered to myself. "You're screwed. And not in any way that's going to end in an orgasm."

"I somehow doubt that," my mom's voice drifted in from the doorway. "Sure, you might wanna wait a few more days until Edward's healed and all, but I'm pretty sure he's game if you are….."

"Mom!" I froze as blind panic started to grow like an oil stain inside of me as images of masked men in black robes started to appear all around me, drowning out the sound of my mom's voice and making me recoil into a little ball against the wall.

She must have noticed it too, because her voice sounded very apologetic when it continued. "I'm sorry, baby….I didn't mean to scare you…I just wanted to talk to you and when I couldn't find you in your own room….."

"It's fine, mom." I probably had a hard time convincing my mom of that, seeing as I was still shaking like a leaf and my body just didn't seem to want to snap out of 'danger mode'.

"No, it's not," she insisted. "I keep doing everything wrong and…and hurting you; the only person in the world I never ever wanted to end up seeing hurt."

"I know, mom," I sighed. "But you don't have to worry about me. I'm going to be fine and….."

"No you're not," mom scolded. "I mean, look at you!" She waved over at me, sitting on my boyfriend's bed, wearing his clothes because I was too scared to face the loneliness and darkness of my own room.

_She may have a point…._

"Mom!" I groaned.

"Isabella," mom replied sternly. "Hiding out and ignoring your problems is not going to do anything to fix them. Just take it from someone who _knows_. Sooner or later you are going to have to face the facts and come to terms with them."

I hid my scowl behind my hair, knowing it wasn't going to do anything to fool my mom but feeling better for doing it none the less. "I don't think I'm ready to do that just yet. I just want life to be as it was again…."

"That's not going to happen if you keep ignoring what happened to you," mom insisted. "Look, I know I've never been much of a parent to you – hell, I'm even starting to wonder if I've ever been much of a _person_ for that matter – but if there's one aspect of your life I can help you deal with, it's this. I haven't gone through anything like what you went through, but I dare say that my history with the Volturi was at least similar to yours…"

She ignored the way I cringed at the mention of the name. "If you're not going to be uncomfortable unburdening to a professional, then at least tell me what you went through and I can see what I can do to help you….Because that's all everyone's trying to do, sweetie…"

She paused, taking in a deep, shaky breath. "We all want to help you get past this…help you get back to normal. And if you want me to stay…."

"No, mom." This time it was me doing the interrupting. "I know how hard it is for you to be here. Seriously, you're not as good an actor as you think you are and without Phil here to calm you…"

Mom hung her head as she muttered, "I'm not going to be able to do much good for you…."

"That's not what I meant," I argued. "I know all of this must be so hard for you. I can see it…..Being back here…..having to deal with all of this stuff…..I knew that if I'd get a chance to get the hell out of here, I'd grab it. So you should….."

"But it still feels so wrong," mom complained. "I know you're going to scream and yell at me that it's not true but whichever way you turn this, I'm partly to blame for what happened to you and Edward."

"Mom!" I cried.

"No, Bella," she replied vehemently. "If I didn't get myself mixed up with these creeps, you wouldn't have ended up being kidnapped from your home. Hell, if I'd just managed to do the right thing for once in my life, those stupid pictures wouldn't have been taken and you and Edward would never have ended up fighting in the first place. God, who knows what would have happened if only I…"

"There's no use getting caught up in the 'what if's', mom," I interrupted her, taking her hand and squeezing it to get her to calm down again. "It happened, and there's nothing we can do to change it. The only thing we can do is move on."

Mom shook her head. "How can I, when every time I look at you I remember how much I failed in keeping you safe?"

"You didn't fail me, mom," I muttered. "You tried to warn me, remember? Everyone did. And still I was stupid enough to push on when I knew I should have backed off."

I sighed, feeling completely worn out as I leaned my head against Edward's pillow, soaking up his lingering smell as I closed my eyes. "No one is to blame in all of this, well, except maybe that sick fuck Aro and his gang of cronies. We all did what we thought was right with the information we had at the time…." I shrugged, not knowing what else to say to not make my mom feel like she was to blame for all of this.

Because she wasn't and neither was Carlisle, though the two of them had been constantly beating themselves up over this for as long as I'd been awake. _And probably before…._

Yeah, they'd done a stupid thing years ago when they joined, but I knew that neither one of them ever would have done it had they known the consequences involved. They'd been as repulsed by what they found as everyone else had been, the moment the Volturi had shown their true face. But unlike everyone else, they didn't have the possibility to ignore it or escape it.

They'd been right in the middle of it – in the eye of the storm – whether they wanted to or not.

"How did you get so grown up?" mom asked her voice soft and resolved as she brushed her fingers along my hairline.

"I don't know," I chuckled. "I guess someone must have done a good job at parenting."

Mom sighed. "I'm going to miss you when I go."

"Me too," I nodded, because as much as I craved normalcy and as much as I wanted my mom to be alright and to not be remembered of the past every step of her way, I also kind of wanted my mommy to be around at times like these when I needed her.

But – as the wise Mick Jagger said: _You can't always get what you want._

Mom would be better off in Florida with Phil and with Edward coming back home maybe as early as the next day, I would have my hands full anyway. _Besides….if she wasn't around I wouldn't be reminded of what had happened that often….._

"You could always come with me," mom mused. "Phil's got this really nice home in Jacksonville. It's right off the beach and so pretty…..I know you'll love it there."

"I know I would," I sighed, "But I can't leave Seattle, mom. Not right now."

"I know," she shrugged. "But I had to try…."

I rolled my eyes, smiling as my mom settled in on the bed, knowing it meant that I wouldn't have to pass a second night alone. "Soooo," I trailed off. "Tell me more about Phil."

Mom's eyes took on a dreamy note, her lips pulling into a mischievous smile as she grinned back at me. "What do you want to know?"

We spent the rest of the night talking and laughing though mom tried her best to trick me into making admissions I wasn't ready to make every now and then. Apart from that, it was great. We talked about Phil, Edward, my life in Seattle, her life all around the continental US….I never realized how much I missed talking to my mom like that.

It made me feel so normal again, like none of the bad things ever happened and it was just the two of us, at home, gossiping the night away. But all too soon, morning came and at seven a still sleepy Phil knocked on the door to come get my mom so that they could finish packing before dad would drive the two of them to the airport later on.

"Baby," mom sighed, her bottom lip trembling as she wrapped me up in a tight hug, swaying the two of us gently as we both gave into our emotions for a moment. "Just say the words and I'll stay…."

"No mom," I muttered, letting het sweatshirt soak up my tears. "It's better this way. And you'll be back soon anyway…." I tried not to think about the reason why she'd be back soon as I held on to my mom until she pulled back.

"I'll be back before you know it, sweetie," she whispered, kissing me on my forehead before getting up from the bed. "And even sooner if you need me."

**- x -**

"Are you sure you're up to this?" Dad asked for the umpteenth time as we stood side by side, riding the elevator to the eighth floor of the hospital.

We'd gone straight there as soon as we'd dropped mom and Phil off at the airport, our ride mainly consisting of a laden silence and him silently handing me a wad of tissues as I cried, the feeling of loss at seeing my mom board her flight to Florida momentarily overpowering my craving for normalcy.

"I'll be fine, dad," I muttered. If I had a dollar for every time I'd spoken those words over the last couple of days, I wouldn't have to work for a living for a single damned day in my life. _Now, if only I could start to _believe_ those words, that would be swell….._

"You sure, baby girl?" Dad's left eyebrow pulled up as he studied me skeptically. "You didn't look so fine when the police questioned you four days ago and I don't want you to go through the same thing…"

And neither did I.

When I woke up Tuesday morning, the police had been pretty quick to interrogate me. Unlike Edward, I hadn't been sliced up into human shish kebob so as soon as I'd gathered my senses and the doctors cleared me, Agent Banner and his team had descended upon me to get my statement about what happened.

Cue: major disaster.

Telling them about what had happened to me during my abduction hadn't been that hard. In fact, it had been surprisingly easy.

Those first couple of hours of me being awake it all didn't even seem real to me, so when I was telling them about the way they'd forced me to listen in on the conversation Aro had had with Edward or the shock collar they'd snapped around my waist, it all sounded like I was recounting some kind of dream to them.

It wasn't real.

It didn't happen.

The whole thing only started to sink in when, after I was done giving them my point of view, they'd cued me in on what they knew had happened during the time I'd been out of it. The drugs they'd pumped into my system had sure done their work and, apart from a few frightening flashes and shards of memories, I couldn't remember a thing about what happened after they'd forced that glass of wine down my throat. All I could remember was music – deep, reverberating sounds pulling me under – and feeling so free and fearless that I was ready to take on the world if needs be.

When they told me what really happened, though, I completely freaked out. The mention of words like 'dangerous cocktail of drugs', 'masked armed men engaging in a shootout with the police' and 'rape kit' slamming me back down to earth in a violent manner that had my breath speed up and spots dancing in front of my eyes all culminating in a violent round of vomiting and hyperventilation that had only seen it's equal in _The Exorcist_.

It had been the first of many anxiety attacks, but it had also been the worst.

In the end, a nurse had been called in to give me a sedative and escort the cops out of the room.

I could see why my dad was worried.

Not that it changed a damned thing.

"I'll be fine, dad," I insisted, knowing that I would be in that fucking room with Edward, holding his hand and preventing him from going through the same kind of shit I had no matter what would happen to me.

"Do you want me in there with you?" dad offered, though I could almost feel his relief bouncing off him in waves when I declined. "So when do you want me to pick you up?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. If Edward gets released today I think I'll hitch a ride back with him. Can I call you later on?"

"Sure," dad shrugged, acting like I didn't know he'd be hiding out somewhere on the premises for as long as I was in the building.

"Thanks, dad," I sighed, surprising him as well as myself by pulling him into a warm hug. "For everything."

"That's what fathers are for," he chuckled, awkwardly patting me on the back. "And you're the only one who lets me be a parent these days anyway what with Leah being Leah and Seth growing up way faster than I'd like him to, so I figured I might as well spend some time with you."

I snickered, remembering the stories dad had told me and mom yesterday about Seth being way to grown up for his age and spending most of his time with Jake, hiding out in the garage and picking up new skills and Leah pretty much chewing dad's head off whenever he tried to assume his role as her stepdad. "It's my pleasure."

"Call me if you need me," dad pressed as he saw me off in front of Edward's room.

"I will," I lied, my attention already solely focused on the person waiting for me on the other side of the door.

From the looks of it, Edward was already halfway through his testament of what happened by the time I got in, the two agents in the room hanging on his every word and hastily scribbling down notes as he sat up, rigidly but outwardly composed as his mom hovered over him with teary eyes.

Jasper was there as well, his face solemn and professional as he nodded at me, though I could see a smile shimmering in his eyes. He and Alice had called me almost daily ever since I woke up, both of them respecting my need for peace and quiet but wanting to let me know they cared all the same.

"Miss Swan." Agent Banner was the first to acknowledge me, his eyes seeking mine with a caution that told me he remembered my little freak out-incident as well as I did. "How are you today?"

"Better," I nodded, hoping he would read between the lines (or words in this case) and know that I wasn't about to screw up his investigation by going into another tail spin.

"Bella!" Edward's smile was wide enough to illuminate a whole city as he held out his arms for me, his mother retreating to her chair by his side with a small chuckled as she watched me go over to him.

"I missed you," I muttered as I cautiously settled into his hold, molding my body next to his on the small hospital bed when he silently asked me to_. I'd do anything for him…._

"Not as much as I missed you," he grunted, kissing me sweetly as he looked at me – really looked at me. "You look better."

I smiled. "I had a good night." It was the truth, even though he may have read something else in it than I meant.

Agent Banner scrapped his throat. "Mister Cullen? Can we proceed?"

Edward groaned, his hold on me loosening as he looked back at the agent. "Fine."

"You were saying that the man you recognized as Eleazar Platt was ordered by the man you assume to be Arthur Mellenberg to kill you, is that correct?" I froze up, Edward's grip on my shoulders immediately tightening as he nodded his assent. "What happened next."

"Eli seemed reluctant," Edward spoke hesitantly. "He pleaded with Aro to be relieved from his task….and that was when you guys came in."

Agent Banner nodded, his colleague scribbling something down. "Did he make any move to protect you?"

This time it was my turn to do the comforting, my thumb rubbing circles into Edward's palm as he passed, looking at his mother before reluctantly giving his answer. "No, he didn't."

Edward grabbed his mother's hand as she sobbed. "I'm sorry, mom."

And so was I.

Esme deserved better than this….so much better.

I knew her brother had been as important in Esme's life as he had been in Edward's and I could only begin to imagine how much it must have hurt her to find out about his true nature. _And all of that above the discoveries she'd made about her husband….It was a miracle she was still sane._

'And you can be absolutely sure about that?" Agent Banner pressed.

Edward's brows pulled into a frown. "Of course I can't! You saw the pandemonium that erupted when you guys finally made an appearance. It was hard to recognize anyone in that mess, let alone see what they were doing. Besides…..I had other stuff on my mind at that time." He looked up at me, his fingers trailing along my jaw as he went on in a softer voice. "I had to make sure Bella was safe."

I closed my eyes, tears of love and gratitude and guilt rolling down my cheeks as I basked in his love for me. _How could I have hated him for so long? _

"Can you take us through what you remember?" I wanted to rip Agent Banner's head from his neck for interrupting out moment.

Edward sighed. "I remember crawling over to Bella…There was a struggle somewhere next to me; shots being fired and people screaming all around me….."

His brows pulled into a frown. "There was a door somewhere to my left….a redhead and some other people going through it just when the madness started. I think they must have got away….."

The two agents shared a look, the scribe asking Banner for confirmation and only jotting something down when he got it. "Probably the door leading to the basement," Banner nodded. 'We had a feeling some of them may have escaped through there. We had guards on all of the exits we knew off, but later on it appeared that there was another one…a hidden door giving access to the river. They must have had a boat or something waiting for them."

I paled. _So it was even worse. _Not only where there people out there who hadn't attended Monday night's gathering of the Volturi, there were also those who did; those who would recognize me immediately while I had no way of doing the same. "D-do you know….." I stammered.

"At this time we don't have reason to believe that," Agent Banner spoke, his words only slightly putting me at ease. "From what Doctor Cullen has told us so far, all three leaders of the Volturi – Arthur 'Aro' Mellenberg, Donald 'Caius' Camden and Eli 'Marcus' Platt – were apprehended during the raid and so where all of the so called _Punitori_ who survived the raid."

I swallowed hard, already having been told that while I had been lying unconscious on a bed in the middle of the room, a gunfight had broken out around me, claiming the lives of fifteen Volturi and two members of the SWAT-team.

"Is there anything else you remember?" Banner's colleague asked, his eyes trained on Edward. "Anything in particular that struck you at that time…."

Edward shook his head. "As I said before…I was only thinking about getting to Bella and making sure she was okay. I didn't even notice at first that one of those fuckers was still on my tail before he stabbed me."

"Ah, yes." The man rifled through his notebook. "James Croft, ex-navy SEAL and presumed to be the general of the _Punitori_."

"I figured as much." Edward chuckled dryly as he ran the arm not wrapped around me through his hair, making it stand out in all directions. "He got me good, that's for sure." Edward cringed as his eyes drifted to the spot where, concealed by the sheets and his hospital gown, his abdomen was still sown shut with the effects of it. "I think that's about the last thing I remember before…."

"One of my men took him out just as he was poised to deliver the fatal blow," Banner spoke. "By that time most of the Volturi were either trying to get out of the mansion or huddled around the three leaders. Though I have to say that the former far outnumbered the latter."

Edward snorted. "I bet."

"When they realized they were fighting a lost battle, Mellenberg and Camden tried to take their lives," Banner went on, "Camden succeeded, but fortunately we managed to get to Mellenberg before he bled out. "

"Good." Edward and I both looked up at the sound of Esme's voice; thick and cold with hate. "I want that man to suffer for what he did – he _and_ Eli. Death would be the easy way out. They need to stand trial and face responsibility."

I nodded fiercely, completely agreeing with what she said. "And the others?" I wanted to know, because when they questioned me a couple of days ago, they were still interrogating everybody they'd arrested on scene, trying to separate the guilty from the fairly innocent.

"Seven of the Punitori were killed trying to protect their masters – one of them detective Afton of the Seattle police department – the remaining two surrendered or were overpowered," Banner answered. "My colleagues are still hard at work interrogating the twenty-five unarmed members of the Volturi that were arrested on site but it's a slow process trying to establish the position each and every one of them held within the organization."

"What will happen to them?" Edward wanted to know. "Are you going to bring them to trial under the RICO Act?"

I frowned, trying to remember what I knew about the act Edward was referring to. I remembered that it had something to do with criminal organizations and members of them open and subject to charges for racketeering if the organization as a whole had committed a number of crimes. It was supposed to be this big breakthrough in tackling the mafia since it allowed the police to get individual members of the organization behind bars and strip them off their spoils even if they hadn't actually been found guilty of those actions, on the base of membership alone. _Which, I guess, also came in handy in dealing with the Volturi. _

Banner nodded. "That's the plan. For now our main problem is finding proof of their criminal activities. Based on the information your father shared with us, we managed to find the operating facility the Volturi used for their illegal transplant surgeries, but when we got to it, the whole place had already been wiped clean of all traces, as had Seattle Grace's pharmacy."

Edward nodded. "So basically you're waiting for the first one to snap and blow the gaffe on everyone else? Good luck!"

Banner chuckled. "Thanks! We're going to need it."

They were pretty fast to wrap up after that, and with a few more questions answered they were on their way again, promising to keep us updated on their progress. Jasper went with them, though be it reluctantly. He hadn't been able to visit as much as he liked since the events of Monday night had unleashed a shit storm over the firm of Masen & Platt that had left those not in jail or hospital scrambling to pick up the pieces and save what was left of the firm.

Soon after they left, Esme and I finally got the all clear from the doctor to take Edward home with us. According to the doctors he still needed to stick to his bed for a few more days before he could start moving around again and we were given a butt load of directions on how to clean and dress his wounds and what else to do and – more importantly – not to do, but apparently even in spite of the long list of things deemed 'unsafe' for him at the moment 'being home' wasn't one of them.

"How are you feeling?" I asked, my hand stroking through Edward's hair as he lay on the backseat, his head propped up against my chest.

"Tired," he sighed, rubbing his eyes, "though I'm glad to be going home and I have to say that I'm loving my new pillow."

I snorted as he snuggled into my chest, his nose burrowing into the space between my boobs. "Perv!"

"And you love me for it," he muttered, already half asleep.

I shook my head, blushing as I heard Esme's chuckles coming from the front seat.

We made it back to the Cullen's house – my new home, even if it was just temporary – in good time and as Esme steered the car through the throng of reporters assembled in front of the gates I made sure Edward's sleeping form was hidden from view, my body blocking his pale face and drawn features from the hungry eyes of the paparazzi.

"Are we there?" his sleepy voice sounded as I sat back again, my eyes drinking in the view in front of them.

I smiled. "We're just pulling up in front of your house."

I looked down as Edward chuckled, not quite understanding what he found funny about all of this. "I should have known that."

"Why?" I asked, cocking my head to the left.

"You have the same look on your face as you always did in Forks, just when we stepped out of the clearing," he said, his fingers brushing over the corners of my lips where they had pulled into a small smile. "I always loved watching you when you looked at the house because you looked kind of like Alice stumbling into Wonderland."

"I guess that would kind of describe how I feel," I mused. "This place – like the house in Forks – it's so pretty it looks almost surreal….like some kind of mirage or something out of a fairytale…."

"It's what I went for when I designed the garden," Esme's soft voice sounded from the front seat, the tires crunching as the car rolled into a stop on the gravel of the driveway. "We've always had busy lives, Carlisle and I, so I want our house to be a little slice of Eden; a place to relax after a busy day and forget about the outside world."

I nodded. "It's almost like taking a little break from reality."

"It used to be like that for me," Esme nodded, a sad smile gracing her lips. "Before…."

"Well, I could do with a little break from reality," Edward grumbled, interrupting his mother as he tried to sit up on his own – against doctor's orders. "I've had a little too much of it over the last couple of months."

"Let's get you in bed first," Esme chuckled, exiting the car and quickly making it over to the door to help me get a grumbling Edward out of the backseat.

"Do I have to?" he complained. "Why can't I just lay low on the couch or something? Lying in bed all day, doing nothing but stare at the ceiling and watch Oprah hand out cars to hysterical women is fucking boring."

I sighed, already knowing he was going to be the worst kind of patient in the world. _Stubborn and sometimes insufferable man that he was. But he was mine, every stubborn and insufferable bit of him, and I wouldn't have it any other way. _

"Edward Antony Cullen!" Esme scowled, boxing his ear whether he was recovering from surgery or not. "You know better than to utter language like that in the presence of ladies. I thought I raised you better than to be some sort of uncivilized Neanderthal!"

And miracle above miracles, her harangue worked because Esme and I – with a little help from my dad – were able to jostle a very silent (though still very grumpy) Edward up the stairs and into his bed without incident.

Esme excused herself almost immediately after we'd settled him in bed, muttering something about making Edward some chicken soup as she went downstairs to give Edward and me some time together.

"Are you alright?" I asked.

"How many times are you going to ask that?" Edward snorted.

I shrugged. "Until you become sick of it?"

"We're already there, sweetheart," he chuckled, before his face turned serious again. "Come lay down with me?" The vulnerable look on his face as his hand warily patted the space beside him made him look so much like the sweet boy I knew that my heart almost leapt out of my chest.

"Of course." I smiled. "Just let me get changed first."

I made a quick dash across the hallway to my room, changing into a pair of comfortable sleep pants and a t-shirt – his t-shirt – before jogging back to his side again.

He was already half asleep, his eyes only opening slightly as he opened his arms for me. "My pillow smells like you," he muttered.

I blushed as I awkwardly slid in next to him, his arm immediately pulling me flush against his side. "I may have borrowed your room for the past two nights. It was the only place I felt safe….close to you…. in some strange kind of way."

"I love it," he smiled. "You're welcome to sleep in here every night."

I tried to shrug his words off, not quite knowing how to react to them though my blush may have given my away. "Is this alright?" I asked, carefully snuggling into his good side.

"Yeah," Edward sighed and I could feel he was doing that thing where guys try to covertly sniff their girlfriend's hair, thinking she can't tell. "Are you alright?"

I burrowed into his embrace, doing a little bit of sniffing of my own as I let his spicy, manly scent calm my nerves and smooth away the lump of fear in my throat. "Yeah."

And for the first time in days, I wasn't lying.

* * *

_**Awwwwwww. I think the two of them deserve a little (lemony) fluff before the angst kicks back in, don't you?**_

_**There's still time to contribute to the Fandom Against Domestic Violence fundraiser and get the compilation which, among many other great stories, features a 12,000 word contribution of fluffy angst free goodness in the Italian sun written by yours truly. A teaser for it can be found on page ten of the twilighted thread for Absolution (twilighted thread. **__**www . twilighted . net / forum / ?f=44&t=13706&p=1167881#p1167881) Though my next story will be based on it (though be it very roughly) the oneshot will be available exclusively to those who donate. **_

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	34. Chapter 34

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. I am in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise, I just use their creations to have my wicked way with them. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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_**This story wouldn't be what it is without my wonderful beta, **_**The Real Teacher**_**, holding my hand and correcting my many errors. Thank you so much!**_

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**- 33 -**

"Edward….."

I smacked my lips, slowly waking up from a dreamless sleep at the mention of my name, my eyes squinting against the faint light of daybreak.

The last two weeks had been the best and worst of my life. The best because I got to spend them with Bella, the worst because I was still a fucking invalid.

Which meant that, though I could enjoy the bouquet – and God knew how much I enjoyed it – I couldn't taste the wine, so to speak.

After two weeks I found that, as nice as the bouquet was, I wanted to really fucking taste that wine.

Seriously.

Waking up next to Bella every morning and falling asleep next to her every night were turning out to be the highlights of my days, the stuff in between where we talked and joked and just hung out were just a bonus as far as I was concerned. The most important thing was that after spending fifteen days being my nurse and putting up with my crappy attitude and me bitching about my injuries, she still didn't want to kill me or declare a vacancy in the girlfriend department.

Which made her either the most patient and angelic of women or the most stupid.

I guess the answer depended on who you were asking.

To me, however, she was just awesome.

Perfect.

We'd talked a lot over the past couple of days, sharing everything we'd missed in each other's lives and discussing our future together and what we both needed from the other to make it work.

It was a long list but as long as we stayed together and – more importantly – kept talking and opening up about our fears or vexations, we both knew we could do this.

We could do _us_.

We had to because we were both miserable at being apart.

I turned towards her, cranking my eyes open to get a good look at her beautiful, sleepy face. The movement made me cringe, the scars covering my healing wounds still stiff and protesting after having had a couple of hours of absolute peace. It reminded me that I still had some way to go before I could call myself 'well' again.

But I was getting there.

A week after my surgery, I'd gone back to the hospital for a checkup during which the sutures were removed and I was cleared to do some walking around, provided that it wasn't too strenuous.

It soon turned out that pretty much everything was too strenuous for me at that point, my stamina completely null and void as I tried to make use of my newfound freedom. _I'd never known that getting your own damn legs to carry your lazy ass to the bathroom could be so fucking tiresome. _

In the days following up to that, I'd slowly started to move around the house, making sure there were always things or people I could grab within arm's reach as I tried to work up some stamina and trying to maintain what was left of my manliness.

I did manage to get some good gropes in, though, which was kind of surprising since my amazing girlfriend still deemed me 'too weak' to be spending any sort of quality naked time with me (I disagreed, of course.). It just so happened that nine times out of ten, the things closest within reach of my hands when I stumbled just so happened to be her boobs.

_Yeah, I know….shocking coincidence, right?_

My smug grin soon turned into a strained gasp when Bella's thigh, draped across my hip, brushing against my morning wood as she shifted, while mumbling under her breath. "Love you….."

For a moment I was almost afraid my face would split in half from the huge, shit-eating grin I sported, my head automatically turning to my right where Bella was still sleeping peacefully next to me.

_Who would have known that discovering the secrets of Bella's mind would be as easy as sleeping next to her every night?_

It made me feel kind of creepy, though, listening in on Bella's sleepy ramblings every night, even if they'd proven to be very educational. It just felt wrong, somehow, even if I couldn't help waking up whenever she started talking.

I gasped, the edge between right and wrong suddenly becoming a very current matter when Bella's hand drifted from my chest to my groin, her deep steady breaths confirming that she was still asleep. "…..want you."

I groaned, knowing that as much as I wanted – no needed – her touch and craved it every minute of the day we spend together, it wasn't right to have her touch me like that while she was asleep. _Dear God, woman! Why must you torture me so? _

I carefully nudged her shoulder, trying to wake her up as gently as I could while her hand hovered over my already painfully hard cock.

"Hmmmm," she hummed, my efforts to wake her up apparently being misunderstood as she wriggled against me. "_Yessssss_."

"Bella!" I groaned, her fingers still dancing all over my cock, making it very hard – both literally and figuratively speaking – to resist her and do 'the right thing'.

But unfortunately my efforts to wake her up continued to fuel the fire that had taken hold of her, her hand now gripping me for dear life as her body squirmed against me for friction, her beautiful face flushed with desire and her lips slightly parted as she sighed my name. "Edward."

From her lips it sounded not like a too grown-up, slightly outdated name, but almost like a poem…or a prayer.

"Bella!" I repeated, shoving her shoulder a bit more ferociously as she continued her ministrations. "Wake up!"

I breathed a sigh of relief as her body stilled, her eyes fluttering like a butterfly's wings before they opened. "W-wha…." She groaned. "Edward?"

"Good morning, sweetheart," I spoke, though my voice wasn't as loving or even tone fast as I would have liked, what with her hand still gripping my dick.

"Morning." She frowned, her frown turning into a scowl when she looked around her. "Why did you wake me up? It's not even morning yet!"

In my haste to protect my darling Bella's virtue as well as my own sanity, I'd forgotten the fact that Bella most definitely wasn't a morning person.

"Well…ah….You were dreaming," I scrambled to explain. "And you must have….erm…..had a very nice dream and….." I waved my hand over my groin, hoping that would make her get the message.

"_Oh_!" She drew her hand away as if my dick was on fire (which, thank heavens, wasn't the case), her face breaking out in a violent blush before she tried to hide it in the pillow.

"Yeah," I sighed, kissing her small sliver of skin still out in the open. "Not that I minded, though."

"You….you didn't?" she asked, peeking out from behind her hiding place with a look of uncertainty.

"Of course not!" I groaned. "I'm a guy, remember? Having my gorgeous girlfriend touch my dick is pretty much awesome no matter when, where or how it happens."

Wanting to settle this matter once and for all, I forced her to come out of hiding, my fingers lifting her chin up and forcing her to look me in the eye as I spoke. "I love you, Isabella, and believe me when I say that I wanted nothing more than for you to continue what you were doing. But it wasn't right…"

"Oh" This time her words sounded dejected and once again she tried to look away from me.

I wouldn't let her though, not even if her attention hadn't been reclaimed already by my frustrated growl. "It wasn't right because you were asleep, Bella."

I smiled as another blush settled onto her cheeks, drawing hope from the fact that at least she'd caught the meaning behind my words this time. "I may not have been much of a man before we met, but I would never take advantage of a woman when she was asleep. Besides….when we do come together I want you to enjoy it as much as I do and, preferable, to be awake during…." I let my voice trail off, momentarily overcome by the prospect of making this sweet girl my own.

_God! I never wanted anything so much in my life! _

Apparently, Bella's thoughts had wandered into a similar kind of direction because she smiled slyly at me through her lashes as she stretched out, molding her body to mine. "And when will that happen?"

I swallowed hard. "Soon?"

She cocked her head, tapping her finger to her plump, raspberry lips. "Soon?"

"Now?" I offered. "I mean….we're both awake and I feel strong enough and …."

She chuckled at the vomit of words falling from my mouth. "But you're still recovering. And the doctor said….."

"The doctor said that I'd supposed to hold off on any strenuous activity for another few days," I grinned. "But as long as you….." I waved my hand over my body, indicating that she should be the one to take control of our lovemaking. "….and we take care not to go overboard or do anything too wild, I think we should be alright."

Bella shook her head. "I don't know, Edward."

"Please," I groaned, my desperate need for her, both physical and mental, overriding all else. "I need you, love."

Bella sighed, though it was more a defeated sigh than one in protest. "We'll go slow."

"Of course." I grinned, doing an inward happy dance.

She narrowed her eyes at me. "And you'll tell me when I hurt you….you'll tell me when to stop."

"Definitely," I lied, knowing that I had to be dying if I'd ever tell her to stop. _And maybe not even then. I mean…what a way to go…._

She sighed. "I'm still…What if I hurt you, Edward?"

"We'll go slow," I assured her, mimicking her words from before. "And you won't hurt me. At least….not any more than you do when you torture me while running around the house dressed all sexy in those oversized pants and t-shirts."

She snorted. "You're saying I look sexy in my sweats? Liar!"

"You look comfortable and happy when you're wearing them," I chuckled, kissing the bit of skin exposed by the oversized t-shirt she'd stolen from me. "There's nothing more sexy than a woman at ease."

She looked skeptical. "So you're saying that instead of buying skimpy lingerie I should invest in sweatpants?"

I groaned. "I think we're losing sight of our main topic of conversation here!"

"Psah!" she huffed. "You're just trying to get into my pants!"

"Yes please." It didn't escape my notice how her body pressed into mine when I let my hand trail over her back, a small sigh escaping her lips before they started placing sweet kisses along my pecs.

Nor did it escape my notice that she drew her leg over mine, her hot center now pressing against my thigh. "Are you sure?" she asked, her eyes, like mine dilated with want, seeking mine.

"Absolutely." I nodded. "Are you? Do you trust me?"

She blushed. "With my life."

"With your heart?"

Her cool hands cradles my cheeks as her eyes bored into mine with a truth and honesty that went straight to my heart. "With all that I have."

"As do I," I muttered before her lips crashed down onto mine, engaging them in a searing kiss that had us gasping for air and clawing from strength as our tongues danced together.

"I love you," I muttered, removing my lips from hers just long enough to suck in a breath of air. "I need you."

"God, so do I!" she groaned, her hands dancing over my chest, numbly avoiding the healing wounds in their efforts to sweep us higher and higher. "So much…."

I didn't know if she was saying she loved me or that she wanted me, but as her hands drifted lower, gripping me through the thin fabric of my sleep pants, I was beyond caring. All I could focus on in that moment was her and me and what we were doing.

_Finally_.

"Bella," I gasped, as she pulled my pants down, my cock springing forward in demand of her attention. "_God_!"

She grinned mischievously, her hair tickling my thighs as she leaned in to take a closer inspection, her hands dragging upwards from my knees in a tempo that was both too slow to give me comfort and too quick to prepare me for what was to come. "It seems like someone's happy to see me."

"Always," I gasped as her hands finally reached their goal, wrapping around my shaft and stroking upwards agonizingly slow.

"I wonder…."she mused, her fingers scooping up some of the liquid oozing from my tip and bringing them to her mouth. "Hmmm."

_Dammit, woman! Are you trying to fucking kill me?_

I may have yelped like a little bitch, the sight of her doing that being a little bit much for me at that moment. _After all, there's only so much a fucker can take._

At least I didn't come like some kind of punk kid eying his first playboy.

Feeling like I had to reciprocate in some kind of way, I yanked Bella's face up to mine again, hungrily claiming her lips with my own as I yanked on her sleep shirt, my hands drifting over the naked skin underneath.

"Perfection," I muttered as my hands enveloped her breasts, relishing in the way the fit perfectly in my hands.

Bella's eyes rolled backwards as I manipulated her peaks with my thumbs, her body squirming against mine as she spurred me on.

"Edward." My cock twitched as the sound of my name, falling from her lips in a whispered moan.

"What is it, my love?" I breathed, using the leverage of my arms to lift up her shirt, her hands assisting me by pulling it over her head so that I wouldn't have to remove my own hands from her chest. "God, you're gorgeous."

"Edward," she panted, shifting her body so that she was straddling me. "Please…..Make love to me."

"Gladly." I groaned as she shifted her hips against mine, feeling the heat of her pussy against my cock. "Though you're going to have to do most of the hard work, love."

She bit her lip, looking adorable with her blushing cheeks and the beautiful mahogany locks of hair falling over her pale white skin. "I'd say that most of the _hard_ work is yours."

"Quit talking!" I growled, wishing nothing more than to be able to flip her over and have my way with her.

She chuckled, leaning in to quickly peck my chest as she wriggled out of her pants, our bodies now naked and bathing in the sunlight that drifted in though the thin curtains.

She looked like an angel, the light drawing patterns on her perfect skin as she looked back at me with a love and trust that made me feel like the luckiest son of a bitch on the planet. "Beautiful," I breathed.

"You're not too bad yourself," she smiled back.

"Liar!" I snorted. "I look like Edward Scissorhands went to town on my body."

"You got those wounds trying to protect me from those sick bastards," she insisted. "If that doesn't make you the sexiest man alive in my eyes, then what does? And anyway….didn't you just tell me to shut the hell up and make love to you."

I rolled my eyes, not quite believing her, but liking her suggestion at the end of them. "Kiss me."

She did, our hands getting bolder as our kiss grew in intensity, her body writhing against mine, coating my cock in her wetness as her pussy brushed over it and bringing me to the point of begging. _So close yet still so far away….._"Please…."

"Yes," she smiled, her small hands grabbing hold and placing me at her entrance.

"_Yes_," I echoed, fighting my eyes from rolling into the back of my head as she slowly sank down on me, her eyes trained to my face to look for signs of pain but founding nothing but bliss.

Finally, when she must have concluded that I wasn't going to die on her, Bella's head fell back, her body stilled around me, my hands caressing every bit of her skin they could reach as she allowed herself a few moments to get used to this…..to me.

And for those moments I was immensely thankful, because without them, this whole sweet dance would have been over by now. Dear Jesus. She felt so good. So perfect….so hot….so wet….so _mine_.

"Fuck, Bella," I gasped as she slowly and carefully started to move her hips in a tantalizing way. "You feel amazing."

"Edward," she moaned, leaning forward so that her hair around us like a curtain shielding us from the real world as she claimed my lips with her own, her teeth nipping at my lips…..my jaw….my neck while her hips rocked against me in a leisurely pace. "This is …..too much."

I couldn't help but agree, my body already building up towards its climax as I moved one of my hands from her chest to where we were connected, drawing circles over her slick bundle of nerves in the hope that it would get her to come with me.

God, I needed her to come with me.

"Edward!" she hissed and I could feel from the way her walls were clamping around me that she was as close as I was. "Oh, God….I'm…"

And with that her body came undone, her mouth falling open and her eyes unfocussed as she quivered violently around me, my name falling from her lips over and over again as she climaxed around me.

I followed immediately after her, my hands digging into her skin as I spilled inside of her, my body arching from the bed and even deeper into her as I grunted out her name. "_Bella_."

I could feel her body crash beside me, her head on my shoulder as she rested, as sated and spent as I was. This was…there were no words to describe it; finally having that which you spend so many hours dreaming about only to find out that no imagination your mind could come up with had anything on the real thing.

I lay back, slowly letting my body come down from its high as I stared at the ceiling with a wide grin on my face, my hands drawing lazy circles on her skin as I breathed in the air of Bella and Edward and sex.

It wasn't until the first drops of salty liquid dripped on my chest that I realized that something was wrong. "Bella?" I demanded, trying to shift so that I could look in her face.

I cringed, my movement putting an uncomfortable pressure on my wound. "Please, look at me, baby. What's wrong?"

She sniffed. "Nothing."

"I'm calling bullshit," I growled. "You're crying. People who are perfectly fine don't cry. Did I hurt you? Did I do something wrong?"

She finally looked at me, her beautiful brown eyes all watery and blurry with tears. "No! You did nothing wrong, Edward," she whispered, her shay hand stroking my cheek. "I'm crying because it was so….prefect."

I frowned. "So let me get this straight; you're crying because you're happy?"

She nodded.

Okay, it was official now: all women were insane.

"It's just…" she muttered, blushing slightly. "Being with you….like this….it's so…It makes me a little sad because I wish…..This is what my first time should have been like….._our_ first time."

_Ah! Now I got it. _

And not only did I get it, I knew exactly what she was talking about. Over the years I'd been with a few women, but none of them had made me feel the way I felt right now; ecstatic, complete and satisfied like I never had been in my life. And now I knew why.

They weren't _Bella_.

"Come here," I sighed, pulling her into a tight hug and relishing in the way her body molded to mine as if it was always meant to fit like that. "I know how you feel and I wish more than anything that I could turn back time to that day when it all went wrong for us, but…."

I drew in a long breath, my hands playing with the ends of her hair. "At least we're together now and…well….I may not have been your first, but I do hope we will be each other's lasts."

I could feel her lips pull into a smile as she lay on my chest, her eyes watching her fingers as they danced across my heart, drawing tingly, heart-shaped figures over it. "I hope that too."

I sighed contently, burying my head in her hair and breathing in her sweet feminine scent. "I love you."

"I love you too," she whispered back, her lips kissing first the skin her fingers had occupied only a moment ago before cautiously pressing against the bandages that covered my wounds. 'So much."

She sighed then, as her eyes drifted to the nightstand, her body withdrawing from mine.

"Don't say it," I groaned.

"It's time to get up," she spoke, going directly against my request. "You've got a bunch of lawyers to meet and I….." She made a face as she let her voice trail off.

"Hey." I made her look at me, wanting her to know the truth in my words. "You've been through hell, love. No one's going to think any less of you for not being able to get out of there alone."

"I know." She shrugged, her fingers playing with a loose stray hanging from the sheets. "It's just….Talking to a shrink….That's not something someone in my family does, ya know?"

I chuckled. "Isn't it? Because I can so see Charlie kicking it back on some cute female therapist's sofa."

She shook her head, rolling her eyes as me as she slapped me, making sure to steer clear of any scars. "Yeah, and I see Sue barging in there with a saucepan, ready to take out the competition! Come on, let's get showered."

I arched my brow as I grinned back at her. "My, my, Miss Swan. Is that an indecent proposal I hear coming from your lips?"

She merely let out an adorable growl, the breath hitching in my throat as she stood up and revealed her naked body to mine. "Jackass!" she grumbled, making sure to add an extra bit of sway to her steps as she walked into my bathroom.

It didn't take long for me to join her in there.

**- x -**

"So," Bella smiled, looking sideways at me as we joined the ton of people all huddled up in a great big traffic jam on the I-5. "Are you excited to be going back to work?"

I knew what she was trying to do. She was trying to distract me from paying attention to her driving, or – more importantly – to the way she was driving my baby.

_Ain't gonna happen, babe, but good luck trying!_

"Ease up on the clutch!" I hissed as the engine groaned as Bella pushed the gas in too deep and let in the clutch way too fast. "Oh my, God! You're killing my car, woman!"

"Grow up!" she groaned, letting the engine roar just to spite me as she rolled her eyes.

"I'm not ever letting you near my car again!" I groaned.

"Then get used to stinking it up in public transport, Michael Knight," she snickered. "Because according to your doctors, driving cars is waaaaaaay too strenuous for you right now."

"Fuck you," I –very maturely – grumbled.

She just chuckled. "I just did, remember?"

And just like that, she managed to turn my scowl into a grin, my thoughts about how she was currently assaulting my car evaporating when more pleasant memories drifted into the forefront. "Twice, if I do recall." _I never knew that little tiled bench in the shower could be put to such good use. _

She shook her head chuckling as she changed lanes into one that seemed to be moving just a little bit faster. "So are you?"

I frowned. "What?"

"Looking forward to going back to work?"

"I guess." I shrugged. "I didn't really leave, did I?"

It had been a constant struggle between the two of us – well, three actually, since my mom seemed to be in complete assent with Bella in this matter – ever since I'd come home. I was a workaholic, and proud of it. And workaholics...well, they wanted to work.

As much as I knew that I wasn't up to being in a courtroom or even in my office, during the past two weeks, I figured that while I was down and out and lying in bed all day, the least I could do was complete some prep-work and other menial tasks I usually prolonged until they couldn't be ignored any longer.

Bella and my mom didn't seem to agree, though, which was once again confirmed in her sarcastic snort. "No, I think it's safe to say you didn't."

"I am psyched to be back at the office, though, if that was what you were asking," I added, trying to diffuse the situation before it could turn into another lecture on how rest and relaxation were vital ingredients to my recovery. "I got kind of tired of hanging around the house all day."

She arched her brow, sneaking another look at me as she navigated her way through the killer traffic of downtown Seattle. "Are you saying I'm boring?"

"You know I'm not," I answered, strangely hurt by the way she kept on deliberately misunderstanding my words.

Her right hand left the gearshift and folded around mine, giving it a gentle squeeze as she softly spoke. "I know."

"We're here," I sighed, suddenly kind of daunted by the prospect of spending a whole day in and out of meetings at the office when over the last weeks my main dilemma of the day had been the question on whether to join mom, dad and Bella for dinner downstairs of have them bring up a tray for me in my bedroom.

"Are you sure you want to go through with this?" Bella asked her eyes narrowing into investigative slits as she looked at me. "because if you're not sure about this, I'll turn the car around….."

"I'm sure," I interrupted her with what certainty I could muster. "Are you?"

She sucked in a sharp breath, knowing what it was that I was talking about. "I have to, don't I?"

I tipped her face towards me with my hand, forcing her to look at me. "No you don't."

She snorted, obviously not completely convinced of the certainty of my statement as I went on. "I'm serious, Bella. Therapy is only going to work if you _want_ to get better. If you don't feel up to this or still think you can make it through this on your own….don't do it. I'll have your back whether you do or you don't."

She sighed, shifting her face away from me as she gazed out of the window to the people passing by on the sidewalk, going about their everyday business as if there was nothing wrong in the world. "I want to do this," she finally admitted. "I want to get better and I know I can't do it on my own."

"Then get the help you need," I insisted, leaning my forehead against her shoulder. "I'm proud of you, sweetheart."

"And I of you," she chuckled, kissing the top of my head. "Now get out of the damn car. You have a bunch of lawyers to impress."

I shook my head, chuckling at her before pressing my lips against her for a chaste goodbye kiss.

She was right, though. Not that I would ever openly admit to it.

"I'll see you tonight?" she asked as I carefully got out of the car. We'd been invited over to Jasper and Alice's for dinner that night and, though Bella was a little bit – okay a whole damn lot – hesitant about me tacking dinner on the back of what was already going to be a pretty strenuous day, in the end I managed to talk her into joining me. Or, in other words: I'd told her that I was going, whether she was joining me or not.

I chuckled. "Definitely."

She scowled. "Don't do anything stupid today."

"I'm hurt," I pouted, feigning hurt at her words.

"If you feel tired or are in pain at any point of the day: go home," Bella went on, acting like she hadn't heard me. "This meeting and a stupid dinner party can't be worth risking your health over."

I shrugged, muttering under my breath. "Maybe not, but it's my sanity that's most at risk here."

"I heard that!" she snapped, narrowing her eyes at me. "Just think about this: if you end up hurting yourself today, I'm going to tie you to your damned bed for at least a fortnight and I'm pretty sure I will get no argument from your mother."

I was pretty sure she was right.

After all, over the last couple of weeks mom seemed to have fallen as fast and as hard for Bella as I had. Those two were as thick as thieves, conspiring together to keep me in bed as long as they could and hovering all over my ass when they couldn't.

"Fine," I gave in with an exasperated sigh. "I'll be careful. See you tonight?"

And with one last kiss she was off, the screeching tires of my car making me cringe at the thought of what she was doing to my poor baby.

I was going to have her detailed as soon as I was cleared to drive again. That and hide the keys somewhere my evil, car-molesting girlfriend wouldn't find them. _Which meant that it had to be somewhere high, out of reach….._

I was proud of her, though. Not so much for ruining the tune-up of my car but for finally admitting that she needed help to deal with her problems.

It had been a struggle, though. Watching her suffer and getting her to finally admit to the fact that she _was_ suffering. If there was anyone who deserved to be called 'stubborn' it was her because even though she froze up at every unexpected noise or whenever someone she didn't know got too close, even when she refused to talk or think about what happened at that damned mansion, she didn't think there was 'anything wrong with her'. She was just going through a little bad patch which nothing but a good night's sleep and a tough shoulder wouldn't fix.

Her words, not mine.

If I'd been asked to describe the situation I would have told her that waking up in the middle of the night screaming and drenched in sweat wasn't normal. And neither was that 'tough shoulder' she was sporting since nine times out of then it was caused by an anxiety attack because someone did or mentioned something she wasn't ready to handle just yet.

Which was why she needed help.

And which was why I was ecstatic that she was finally going to get it.

At first she'd kept up the denial act, claiming that as soon as she'd go through her first laser removal appointment at the hospital, things would start to get better. I think it was more wishful thinking on her part than anything based on real facts or feelings. She probably figured that if the last of the physical reminders of her brush-up with the Volturi were removed, she would finally be able to move on.

Which was why the blow had come at its hardest when, after her first appointment, nothing had changed.

I'd found her, that afternoon, curled up on the bathroom floor, the running tabs of the shower muffling the sounds of her heartbreaking sobs as she gave in to her disappointment and fear.

I'd been as helpless as she was, dealing with all of this.

In the end it had been Alice who came through with a therapist who specialized in cases such as Bella's and who had enough credentials for me to deem her worthy to tinker with my girl's head and little enough ties to the city for Bella to actually trust her. Plus, Alice was going to be there for the first few sessions, which was enough to put both our minds at ease.

I sighed, taking my eyes off the road, now empty of all traces of Bella, and directing them to the austere, high-rise building in front of me. _Time to get this show on the road. _

I knew why today's meeting had been called and why Garrett had put so much pressure on me to attend.

I knew it, and I hated it.

They were going to talk business today. It had been two weeks since word had gotten out of Eli's arrest and his involvement with the Volturi which meant that it was now time to assess the damage my uncle had done to the firm that had been his lifelong achievement and find out if there was anything left to save.

"Edward!" Garrett's wide smile when he spotted me only confirmed what I already feared. "It's so good to have you back with us."

I arched my brow, taking my eyes off him long enough to nod at the new girl manning the desk (who had stepped into the void left by Irina's arrest) and take off my coat. "Garrett," I spoke.

"The meeting is just about to begin," Garrett prattled on, looking pretty damned nervous if you'd ask me, "so if you'd like to follow me to the conference room….."

"Garrett, we've known each other for long enough now to not beat around the bush," I interrupted him, stopping him at a spot clear of people and therefore office gossip. "I know why you pulled me in here today and I have a pretty good idea of what's about to go down in there and I have to say….I don't like it."

Garrett had the good grace to appear shocked. "What are you talking about, Edward?"

"I'm talking about the fact that my uncle's arrest left a huge gap in the partnership," I explained. "A gap that needs to be filled pretty damn fast, am I right?"

I went on after he nodded. "I know what you are going to say in that meeting, Garrett, and I'm telling you right now that I'm not going to go along with it."

Garrett's brows pulled into a little, disconcerted frown. "You're not?"

"I'm fresh out of law school and don't have any experience to speak of. I don't deserve to be a partner right now and, frankly, I don't even want it." I shook my head, snorting slightly at the preposterousness of the idea alone. "When you ask someone to be a partner it should be because you think that person is the right kind of person for the job, not because he just so happened to be born into a certain family. Appointing an inexperienced newbie like me just because of who his mother is would just be ridiculous and would make this whole firm look like a joke."

Garrett sighed, looking oddly relived. "You know what? I was kind of hoping you would say that."

"Good," I nodded. "Because Jasper deserves this a whole lot more than I do."

There, the words were out and they felt oddly….liberating.

My whole damn life I'd been wanting to make a name for myself and now, when I had the opportunity to actually do it – to actually become the youngest guy in the history of the firm to ever be made partner – I'd just turned it down. Because that was the kind of thing that would turn me into the kind of guy I wanted to be: a man who could be proud of himself and the things he'd achieved.

And no amount of money could ever live up to pride.

"Okay, then," Garrett grinned, patting me on the shoulder. "Let's do this."

He was all business as soon as we stepped into the room to come face to face with the who's who of Masen & Platt Attorneys at Law, every single one of my colleagues completely ignoring the spectacular view from the 15th floor windows in favor of their crackberry's. They only looked up when Garrett noisily pulled his chair back and sat down, the meeting immediately being called to order with his gesture.

"Good morning everyone," he let his eyes glide around the table as I slid into an empty chair next to Jasper.

He looked up, shoving his smartphone back into the pocket of his jacket. "How are you, Cullen?"

"As well as someone who's been stabbed to hell sixteen days ago can feel," I chuckled, trying not to appear too happy or do anything else that would ruin the surprise for him.

"It's good to have you back," he whispered. "Are you still on for tonight?"

"Try and stop me," I muttered back before Garrett's stern glare put a stop to our conversation.

The meeting went pretty much as I expected it would. By that time everyone in the firm knew about Eli and, from the looks on their faces, were all as disgusted by his secret life as I was. What no-one knew, though, was what all of this meant for the firm.

When Garrett had pulled everyone into the same room we were sitting in now to announce the news, he had made it clear that anyone who would want to leave the firm because of the scandal attached to its name was free to leave and would receive a letter of recommendation and Garrett's full support in seeking out new employment. From what Garrett had told me while visiting the house to talk to dad and – on occasion – to me, I knew that he'd expected a lot of employees and clients to hightail it out of the door as fast as their feet could carry them.

Surprisingly enough, that hadn't happened.

"Of course we did lose some clients," Garrett explained, "most of them being rather recent additions to our portfolio, but on the whole those clients who have been with us for some time have placed their trust in our ability to reclaim what we lost in the way of reputation and rise above it. In short, this means that seventy percent of our accounts have been saved, which is much more than I was expecting."

I nodded. This was good news. Very good news.

"But seventy percent still means that we're overstaffed right now, doesn't it?" Senna Jones, one of the junior partners in the firm asked. "I have no problem staying with this firm since it pretty much helped me build my career from the ground up, but if you're going to cut into the number of paralegals or do something else to increase our workload, I might change my mind."

"At the moment I'm not looking to do any of those things," Garrett answered calmly. "As you may have noticed, some of your colleagues have decided to seek other employment. If the accounting department is to be believed, their leaving just about covers the overstaffing problems."

He paused for a while, trying to gauge the reactions to his speech. "We should be fine for now but that doesn't mean we can rest easy. Eli's involvement in organized crime will have big implications for our firm and I think that over the next couple of months we have to be both cautious and very cost-effective. Cautious because we cannot afford to have our name brought up in any sort of organized crime case for a while to keep us from getting the reputation of being a mafia-firm. Cost effective because we have to prepare ourselves for a drought in new cases being offered to us, which means that I'm looking at each and every one of you to book a lot of billable hours to make up for it as best as we can."

There was a little groan across the room, since more billable hours meant more paperwork. Which was something none of us loved to be doing.

Garrett shrugged. "If we want to be able to keep everyone on, it's going to have to happen, ladies and gentlemen."

He let us grump about for a few minutes, knowing we had to get our frustration out there before we would be able to see the silver lining around the huge cloud of paperwork looming on the horizon, before he went on. "Now, in better news: Eli's arrest has left us with a bit of a situation. For now Liam will step in as senior partner and take over his current cases, but that still means we are short on one junior partner."

I chuckled as suddenly a lot of people sat up a little straighter, some of them almost panting at the big juicy bone in the form of an offer to become a partner in the firm Garrett had just thrown onto the table. _A lot of them were also looking – or glaring – at me….._

"After some careful deliberation and consulting the other partners, I would like to offer that position to Jasper Whitlock," Garrett announced. "That is, if he is willing to take this on."

I half expected Jasper to pump his fist and belt out a 'hell yes', the grin on his face so wide we were all slightly blinded by it. "I would, sir," he immediately answered, his Southern accent dripping heavily into his voice now that it was so thick with emotion. "And I'd like to thank you and all of the partners for the opportunity and the vote of confidence."

I sat back, enjoying the sight of my friend getting mobbed by well-wishers wanting to offer their congratulations, though not everyone had been quite able to fake a sincere smile. The small army of jealous sourpusses couldn't ruin the spirit of optimism hanging over the room, though. The firm would survive, which was great news, and the right guy had been promoted, what else could we want?

"Okay, everybody," Garrett called us back to order. "Now that we have that out of the way: let's get back to work. Billable hours, everyone!"

And with that he all but chased us out of the room, pulling Jazz and me apart to announce a meeting in his office in five minutes which gave us just about enough time to grab some coffee and grab pen and paper to make notes.

"Thanks, Edward," Jasper said as we were walking up to Garrett's huge corner office.

I frowned, feigning ignorance. "What for?"

"I know what you did," he insisted.

I shrugged. "It wouldn't have been right if this promotion had gone to anyone else. You put in more hours and have worked harder for this firm than the lot of us combined. You deserve this."

"I know." Jasper grinned cockily, pushing against the door to Garrett's office. "But thanks anyway."

"Ah, gentlemen." Garrett looked up from his papers. "Have a seat so that we can get down to business."

"You've heard back from the DA's office?" Jasper asked.

Garrett nodded. "They rejected our demands, which isn't completely surprising. But they did make us a counter offer….."

"I hate to state the obvious here," I interrupted them. "But didn't I resign from my dad's case a couple of weeks ago?"

"I see those Volturi didn't mess with you memory. Good….." Garrett chuckled. "Your father has asked me to keep you informed of his case. He thinks you have a right to know what is going on and he feels that this stuff would probably be easier coming from me instead of him."

I nodded. "I guess I can see why he said that." Me and dad were trying – with the emphasis on trying – to act as normal as we could but that involved ignoring just about everything that had happened and which was still happening with the Volturi. It was all be could do to keep the peace.

I still hadn't forgiven him for his involvement in it, not did I think I could in the foreseeable future. Still, we had worked out some kind of status quo that had both of us acting at least civil for the sake of mom and Bella while we went out of our way to avoid coming into contact with each other.

In other words: things were just as they had been for the last ten years.

"With the Volturi behind bars, the federal prosecutors are working overtime to keep them there," Garrett began, "but unfortunately for them, they don't have much of a leg to stand on."

I nodded, having heard as much. The Volturi had been meticulous about covering their tracks and of it hadn't been for the fact that the FBI barged in on them while they were in the middle of a drug induced ritual involving two people that were being held there against their will and a shitton of illegal weapons, most of those fuckers would probably already be out on the street again.

"Renee Swan has been very helpful in sharing everything she knew about the three leaders of the Volturi, which was surprisingly much since she was very much 'on hand' to fulfill Aro's – or Arthur Mellenberg as I should say – needs whenever he felt like it, but since she hasn't been an active participant in over twenty years, she's not much of a source when it comes to the majority of the people arrested."

"Which makes your father the new best friend of the federal prosecutors," Jasper added.

"So he's going to get out?" I asked, hoping naively for a good outcome when my three years were rolling their eyes at me from the back of my mind.

"I'm afraid not," Garrett sighed. "You've probably heard that they adjusted the indictment against him, right?"

I nodded. They'd taken the death penalty off the table – thank God – since it now looked to them as if my dad had been sent to kill Jane Foster instead of deciding to do it all on his own, but they'd added charges of racketeering, which was wasn't altogether that surprising given the nature of the Volturi's business.

"Right now they are willing to make a deal that involves minimal jail time in a low security prison in exchange for a full confession," Garrett elaborated.

"But that would mean he would have to admit to murder, right?" I frowned. _Why were we even discussing this? My dad hadn't murdered the girl….._

Garrett nodded. "I know your dad didn't kill that woman but with all of the evidence still pointing in his direction, the prosecution would be mad if they'd dropped the charges against him."

"So that means that this deal is off the table," I sighed. "What's the alternative?"

"We strike a deal on the racketeering charges and go to court on the murder one," Jasper chimed in "It wouldn't be ideal but with popular opinion stacking up against the Volturi, we might have a chance at acquittal or at least a hung jury."

"What are the chances – realistically – of getting him out of this?" I wanted to know.

"Slim to none," Garrett replied. "I don't want to give you any false hope, Edward. Your father was a member of a criminal organization for over twenty years and performed – or at the very least observed and condoned – transplants with organs he knew to be illegally acquired. That fact alone will send him to jail for quite some time, even if we do manage to get him acquitted of murder."

"And what's the prospect on that?" I asked.

His grimace told me everything I wanted to know.

"So we need a kickass deal," I concluded. "Preferably one that has the DA dropping the murder charges."

"Yep," Garrett nodded. "That's pretty much where we're at right now."

I groaned, only now realizing that this meant that either we had to hope for a miracle or pray that the federal prosecutors handling the case would be so hard up for evidence against my dad that they would be willing to drop what could only be called as a sure conviction in the hopes that it would get the majority of the Volturi behind bars.

_Which pretty much amounted to another miracle. _

"Fuck!" I hadn't even realized Jasper had whipped his phone out again until he started cursing up a storm.

"What's wrong?" I immediately asked, my mind jumping to Bella and her meeting with the therapist. "Is Bella okay?"

"I guess so," Jasper muttered, his eyes still glued to the little illuminated screen. "But this is not about her."

He scrolled down as both Garrett and I watched him like he could explode at every moment. "I just had an e-mail from one of my buddies at the Seattle Enquirer….."

I snorted, wondering what kind of friend that guy would be, working at one of the vilest gutter rags the city had.

"He let me know that tomorrow's opening is going to be a tell-all interview with Tanya Denali," Jasper muttered, looking at me with a defeated look in his eyes. "She's going to sell you out."

* * *

_**I bet you forgot all about Tanya and her evil slutty ways. **_

_**I didn't ;-)**_

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	35. Chapter 35

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. I am in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise, I just use their creations to have my wicked way with them. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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_**This story wouldn't be what it is without my wonderful beta, **_**The Real Teacher**_**, holding my hand and correcting my many errors. Thank you so much!**_

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_**I know this chapter is a day late but I literally just got back from a short trip to Paris five minutes ago. I hope it's length makes up for its tardiness (that's what she said, I know).**_

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**- 34 -**

I sighed as I watched the lone figure of my boyfriend shrink into the distance, the remnants of my amusement still lingering on my lips as I stepped on the gas – maybe a little too enthusiastically.

My smile was back as I noticed Edward's pained expression in the rearview mirror, knowing it wasn't from the scars healing on his stomach or the cold of late fall but from the way I was apparently unfit to drive his precious overpriced car. _Though I did have to admit that for something as ridiculously overpriced and shiny, it was fun to drive._

Boys and their toys!

If I hadn't known Edward the way I did, I would have ditched his cranky ass and rode the ostentatious pimpmobile into the sunset, never to return again. But the thing was: I did know him. Which was why I knew that his frustration over my driving – which wasn't anywhere near as bad as he made it out to be, by the way – was only masking the deeper lying anxiety he was feeling. He just wasn't ready to admit it yet. Not to me and – I suspected – not to himself either.

This was the first time since he'd come home after…..after it happened that we had been apart. It was hard….on both of us.

I tightened my grip on the steering wheel, the car jolting forward as I wove my way through downtown Seattle's packed streets, my knuckles turning white with the force exerted on them as I tried to focus on my driving and not on the overwhelming panic that welled up inside of me when I thought about how I was alone in this car…..the same car that was taking me further and further away from where I wanted to be.

Or – more importantly – who I wanted to be with.

This was a big step, or so I kept repeating to myself, and one that would be necessary for the future.

We'd have to let go eventually – absence made the hard grown fonder and all that bullshit – but as far as I was concerned I was more than willing to hold on for a little while longer if that meant keeping the panic at bay.

And Edward always made me feel safe…protected.

But I had more than myself to consider in all of this and, though I wanted nothing more than to crawl back into bed with Edward and forget the big, bad world around us existed, I knew I wasn't doing him any favors by doing so. He had more than enough weight on his shoulders without me adding more crap to it. No, I had to be strong. I had to make sure I could share the burden and be there for him if and when he needed me.

Just like he had done with me.

Even if that meant subjecting myself to the scrutiny of a complete stranger; a stranger who might have been…..

_NO!_

I stopped myself before this could go from bad to worse, pulling into a vacant parking space to get a grip on myself.

I had to trust myself.

I had to trust Alice's judgment.

I had to trust that there were people in this town who were untainted by the sordid mess that had become inextricably entangled with my personal history.

_This_ was going to work.

I sucked in a sharp breath through my nose, my hands drumming against the steering wheel before I maneuvered back onto the streets and towards the Queen Anne neighborhood where Alice would be waiting for me.

In the end it had been Alice who had convinced me to finally seek help. She'd seen me struggle, not just with life in general but also with my desire to be normal again; to put the past behind me and move on. When it became clear to her that I wasn't going to make it on my own – at least, not without a good nudge in the right direction – she'd pulled me aside one day to ask me about my plans for the future.

Which had been just about the last thing I expected.

I'd expected her to roll her eyes and order me to get help because, as much as I may have been fooling myself into thinking I was doing just fine, I _wasn't_ coping.

I'd expected her to tell me how much my behavior was hurting Edward and Esme and maybe even Carlisle (though the guy had barely left his study long enough to go to the toilet let alone anything else) and that I had to get help so that I wouldn't be such a burden to them.

Hell, I may even had expected her to call my dad and get him down here to stage an intervention.

Instead I was left baffled and stuttering as I tried to explain how I wanted to be a good girlfriend and a good daughter and a good person and a good journalist and a good…..Bella Swan.

I was still stumbling over my words when she interrupted me to ask me how I was going to manage all those things.

I knew exactly what she was asking. She wasn't asking after my five-year plan how I was going to manage living with Edward when hardly a day went by without me wanting to kill him. She was asking how I wanted to manage all of that when I couldn't be around strangers without panicking.

Or even freezing up at the thought of it.

The decision had been surprisingly easy after that because, in all honesty, I couldn't see myself _living_ without someone helping me adjust. Let alone go back to college or attend the functions and other events that came with being a lawyer's girlfriend.

I needed help. And I needed to trust Alice's judgment and competence when it came to her trade. A leap of faith was all it took.

And so I jumped.

I managed to contort my face into a grin as I spotted Alice waiting next to her ridiculously big car, a venti cup of Starbucks in one hand and her phone in the other as she paced around.

"Okay, baby," she cooed, making me think it was Hannah, her daughter, she was talking to. "Be nice to your teachers today and make sure you do your best, okay? Mommy and daddy love you."

I smiled nodding at her as our gazes locked while she said goodbye with the look on her face of a mother saying goodbye to her child – no matter how short-lived that goodbye was. "Nice ride," she chuckled as she ended the call, shoving her phone back into her purse.

I looked back at the ostentatious vehicle. I guess when you thought about it, it was rather a nice car. It was sleek and powerful and it drove like a charm. I just wasn't ready to admit that to the owner. "I'll tell Edward you said that."

When I looked back at Alice, there was a look of shock on her face. "Oh, my God!"

I froze up, looking behind me for signs of danger but spotting none. "W-what?" I stammered.

"Isabella Swan," she cried. "You _so_ got laid last night!"

_Was it that obvious? _I blushed, not exactly expecting that_. _"That's none of your business," I muttered, though I wasn't very forceful or commanding.

"Wait." Alice studied me intently. "You didn't got laid last night…you got laid _this morning_."

I gasped. _How the hell did she know this?_ "I find your ability to read my mind rather disturbing, Alice."

"So it's true then!" By then Alice was jumping around like she was threading over hot coals, completely forgetting my difficulties with human interaction as she threw her arms around my neck. The strange thing was: it wasn't bothering me at all.

Not this time.

"I'm so happy for you, Bella," she muttered into my hair. "You needed this. Hell, you _both_ needed this."

"I know," I admitted, knowing that it was the truth. As afraid as I had been of hurting him or doing something else that was wrong or that we weren't ready for, I knew deep down that we needed to feel the closeness and intimacy that came from making love and that we had been ready for this next step in our relationship. _But I needed something else too. _

"But right now I need to get through that door," I spoke, extricating myself from her hold. "I need to get better. For him….and for me."

"That's the spirit." Alice smiled widely, grabbing my hand in hers as she squeezed gently, allowing me to take the first step.

I may not have been on the moon and my name may not have been Neil Armstrong but I still knew that the small step I took towards the front door of the building – unassisted and of my own volition was a huge one towards my recovery.

I was going to do this.

I was going to get better.

I was going to be happy.

Walking into the building I didn't felt as overwhelmed and daunted as I thought I would feel, though I knew that wasn't down to me. It was down to Alice being there, distracting me with her stories about her kids and life back in the South and even by picking a therapist she knew I would grow to love.

Or that was what she claimed, at least.

"You're going to love her, Bella," she sang, her body moving alongside me in a pace that looked suspiciously like skipping. "She's a great therapist who doesn't bullshit along with her clients. She's all about getting results…Not that she'll force you to do anything you're not ready for….."

I rolled my eyes at her enthusiasm, though I did have to admit that it helped in getting rid of my nerves. "Looks to me like you're describing the Mother Theresa of therapy."

"She is," Alice insisted. "Or, at least….she's as close as a mere mortal can get. That's why she's making the big bucks in private practice while I'm slaving away at a school badgering kids for a pittance wager."

I shook my head. "Don't act like you don't love your job, Alice Whitlock! I know for a fact that you're lying through your teeth right now!"

"Darn!" Alice scowled, though I could see it was all in jest. "You know me too well!"

I chuckled, ruffling her hair. "I guess I do." And I was glad I did.

She'd been hounding me with stuff like this ever since I'd finally budged on the subject of therapy. I knew she didn't mean to be pushy or obnoxious – even though she sometimes was – it was just that she wanted to help.

_Really_ wanted to help.

She'd been one of the first of Edward's friends – our friends – to make the journey to Woodway to come visit, even though she knew it was going to be awkward as hell with long silences and a lot of coldness in the air. She'd been genuinely worried about Edward – and about me too – and wanted to do whatever she could do to help. Which was actually a lot.

She'd not only helped me get in touch with an – apparently – kickass therapist who'd been her roommate in college, she also brought some life into the dead museum that was Edward's parental spread by bringing along her kids whenever she dropped by.

It was great, even if the barrage of sudden movement and high pitched squeals a little girl running around the gardens caused to erupt around the house did make me freeze up into a state of panic more than once.

It made me feel normal, though, which was all I wanted at the moment.

And which had never seemed so far away.

Which brought me back to the reason I was walking into the beautiful classic white terraced house, on my way to my first therapy appointment. _If only my daddy could see me now. He would be so_ not _proud. _

Whatever I might have expected walking into the office of Zafrina Phillips MD, the cozy mishmash of furniture and general state of chaos inside wasn't it. It felt good though…..homey even. Though I had to admit that I was slightly disappointed in the complete lack of designer furniture and snootiness and the absence of rows of fancy schmanzy diploma's and other ego-enhancing documents.

"Welcome, Bella," Doctor Philips smiled at me with her almost otherworldly white teeth set in a flawless olive skin framed by the most awesome head of dreadlocks I'd ever seen. "Why don't you and Alice say your goodbyes while I pour the both of us some coffee?"

I barely managed to contain a gasp. _How the hell did that woman know that the two things I needed right that moment were Alice and caffeine? _

I guess she really was every bit as awesome as Alice claimed her to be.

"I'll be right outside," Alice insisted as she pulled me into a cautious hug, Zafrina weaving her lean frame through the bead curtain that separated the main room from a small kitchen. "Just holler if you need me, honey."

"Thanks, Alice," I sighed, burying my face into the fluffy collar of her vest for a while just for the comfort it gave me.

Nerves started to rise the minute she closed the door behind her, making me feel like a kid dropped off for her first day at kindergarten; _panicky and very ill at ease._

"Why don't you sit down" I jumped at the sound of my therapist's voice as she walked back through the bead curtain a small tray of steaming coffee mugs in her hands. "I know this must be hard for you, opening up to a complete stranger, but I want you to know that you can trust me. Even when I know I'm going to have to work hard to earn your trust."

I smiled back at her, not quite knowing what to say. _'You're damn straight ya do,'_ was the first thing that popped up but seemed horribly inappropriate and rude considering _I _had come here asking _her_ for help.

"I promise that sofa's as comfy as it looks," Doctor Philips tried, waving over at the lumpy and – indeed – very comfortable looking sofa.

I shrugged. "I guess I could give it a try." I had to give Doctor Philips props for her excellent taste in seating furniture because when my ass finally made contact with the plush pillows and soft fabric I could barely resist the urge to moan. It was comfortable, alright, but that wasn't all there was too it. The way the pillows almost cocooned me as I sunk into their lushness and the high back and arms seemed to almost shield me from the world outside….. It made me feel safe…_comforted_.

"How does that feel, Bella?" Doctor Philips asked, as she installed herself on the equally comfy looking lounge chair across from me. "It's okay to call you Bella, I hope?"

"I prefer Bella, actually," I nodded, folding my arms around the coffee mug as I took small sips from the hot, lovely brew. "Isabella sounds so…I don't know, formal?"

"Bella it is, then," she answered with a s mile. "And you can call me Zafrina."

"Okay," I muttered, getting a bit more nervous again now that I knew we were close to kicking off our first session. "I guess I can do that."

"It's all I ask of you," Zafrina spoke, "well, apart from your help in getting you to where you want to be in life."

"My….my help? I couldn't help but look up, completely puzzled by her words.

"Yes, your help." She took a sip from her coffee, leaning slightly forward. "I want to help you, Bella, and I really think I can, but I cannot do it alone. I need you to put your trust in me – even if it feels scary and unsafe and like the last thing you should be doing right now – and I need you to tell me when you're feeling overwhelmed or scared or otherwise uncomfortable. I can't help you if you won't let me."

I nodded. "I can see your point."

"Good," Zafrina smiled, setting her cup back onto the table. "Now, let's start at the beginning. Could you tell me a little bit about yourself?"

I chuckled, knowing we'd be in there for hours once I'd start. "What do you want to hear?"

**- x –**

When I left the room a little over an hour later I felt kinda weird but in a good way. Therapy had definitely not been what I expected it to be and since my expectations of it had been pretty damn low, that was a good thing.

A very good thing.

So far we hadn't really touched on the hard stuff. According to Zafrina it was very important that she got a good idea of what I was about before she started digging into the problems that plagued me and, though I really wanted to start getting better and work on my issues, I could see why she'd want that. After all, if – though I guess I should rather say _when_ – I freaked out about something she said, she'd probably be able to help me a lot better if she knew about the why and how.

It was still hard, though, talking about my family and growing up in Forks and Venice….and Edward.

The strange thing was that all of the stuff I'd talked about today – from things that had taken place over twenty years ago when I was still a baby to the stuff that had happened right before I'd moved to Seattle – it all seemed to be connected to the Volturi.

It was strange, come to think of it, how much they'd influenced my life without me even knowing it.

If it hadn't been for them my mom wouldn't have gotten pregnant.

If it hadn't been for them, Edward's parents wouldn't have moved to Forks.

If it hadn't been for them, Edward and I wouldn't have had that fight.

If it hadn't been for them, I wouldn't have moved to Venice and decide to major in journalism.

If it hadn't been for them, Edward wouldn't have fallen out with his dad and decided to become a lawyer instead of a doctor.

If it hadn't been because of them….

Looking back on it made me feel completely overwhelmed, unsafe and confused. How much of my life had actually been in my own hands?

Was this what I really wanted? Or was it the Volturi trying to exert their power through me?

Had any of my decisions really been _mine_?

It was clear I was going to need a lot of therapy before I could even think about finding the answer to that question. Zafrina had made it very clear that in order to find myself again amongst the rubble the Volturi attack had left behind, I would have to dig deep into myself and not be afraid of opening cesspits and taking risks.

I sighed, taking a deep breath as I stood in the little hallway for a while, trying to get a grasp on myself before I made it back to the waiting room where Alice was waiting for me. I guess I had to take Zafrina's advice to heart and focus on the good things to help me get through the bad. And I had a lot of good things going on in my life right now.

Edward, for instance.

I could feel my cheeks pinking up at the thought of what we'd done this morning. It had been pretty much a spur of the moment thing and up until the last moment I didn't actually think we'd go through with it, what with Edward still recovering and me being….well, a basket case. But it had been amazing. It had brought us closer together than I ever thought two people could be and it had been exactly what we needed at exactly the time we needed it.

The only downside was that right now I wanted nothing more than to crawl back into his arms and never leave them again.

But was that really such a bad thing?

"Penny for your thoughts." I jumped at the sound of Alice's voice. "Though really, you make it so easy for the whole world to guess where your mind has wandered off too that it's almost no fun. I mean….red cheeks, goofy grin and eyes looking all bedazzled and loved up? I bet you've got Edward on the brain."

I chuckled. "Am I really that obvious?"

Alice nodded vehemently. "It's a good thing you are, though. If you'd have been walking around with a scowl on your face or acting like nothing out of the ordinary had happened it wouldn't have spoken in favor of Edward's bedroom skills."

I chuckled. There definitely wasn't anything wrong with Edward's bedroom skills. Or his bathroom skills for that matter. _Hmmm, the combination of Edward pushing into me, his hands wandering all over my body and his lips on my skin while the hot water cascaded around us had been …very nice indeed. _

"I guessed as much," Alice snickered, hooking her arm through mine, "and you're going to tell me all about it over lunch."

I arched a brow. "Am I? I don't recall making such a promise."

"Come on, Bella. You owe me one!", Alice huffed with impatience, her eyes narrowing as she tried to stare me into submission. "Besides….I know a great place close by."

The 'great place' turned out to be a nice little bakery – the Macrina Bakery – nestled amongst the beautiful streets of the Queen Anne neighborhood. It was already quite busy when we got in, but Alice was able to secure us one of the last free tables, hidden away in a corner with a good view of all the going on around us.

"They have the best food you can imagine over here," Alice remarked as we both sniffed up the heavenly aroma of freshly baked bread and pastries. "Really, you can order everything off the menu and it will taste amazing."

I had no doubt it would, my mouth already watering as I let my eyes glide over the menu. "How did you find this place?"

"Jazz and I stumbled across it by accident when we were house hunting a few years back," Alice explained after we'd placed our orders with the waitress. "Everything over here was way over our budget and I was getting all cranky and depressed since I was already pregnant with Hannah and didn't want to have my baby in a half-finished house or – even worse – a hotel room."

I nodded. "I can imagine."

Alice smiled. "I think I drove poor Jazz mad with all my whining and I remember him almost getting us killed when we drove past this place and I ordered him to stop and feed me. But this place made up for the disastrous trek around Queen Anne we'd been on all morning and anyway…..it changed our luck. We found the house we still live in that afternoon. It was actually the first house we viewed after lunch and it was perfect."

"What a coincidence!" I chuckled, taking a huge sip from the coffee our waitress had put in front of me.

"I know!" Alice smiled, attacking her sandwich with a gusto that made me feel almost scared. "Now spill."

I shrugged, stalling for time by taking a huge bite out of my own sandwich. "There's not much to tell, really. We had sex – twice even – it was amazing – even better the second time – and I plan to do it over and over again."

"You do, huh?" Alice winked at me. "I'm kind of surprised you jumped into the saddle so to speak, you know, with Edward still kinda 'indisposed'."

"I made sure he was alright," I was quick to explain. "And I was very careful when we….you know. He was never in any pain, at least…I think not."

"Oh this isn't about Edward," Alice giggled. "I'm pretty sure Edward would have jumped at the chance to get laid, even if it would have been the last thing he did. I was surprised you went along with it, though."

I blushed. "Yeah….well…..I….."

"Don't get me wrong," Alice interrupted me quickly. "I love that you did. I think it was just what the two of you needed."

"It was," I nodded. "I never knew it could be like that, you know? But with Edward….."

"The two of you are meant to be, Bella," Alice spoke softly, her lips pulling into a warm smile as her hand enveloped mine. "This is what it's _meant_ to feel like."

"I miss him," I sighed, my hands twitching with the urge to pull out my Blackberry and see if I had any missed calls or messages.

"I know the feeling," Alice chuckled, "but sometimes it's actually good to spend some time apart. It may not feel like it now, but absence really does make the heart grow fonder."

I sighed, knowing she was probably right. I mean, they don't just whip out a saying like that because it sounds pretty or something, there was bound to be some truth in it.

After that we talked some more. It seemed like after my morning therapy session, the dam had burst open and I just couldn't shut up anymore. There were still a whole lot of taboos floating around, but as Alice and I ate and drank, there were so many topics that we discussed that I didn't even notice it.

When we got back it was already late in the afternoon. Jasper had gotten in touch with his wife somewhere along the way to tell her he was getting out of the office early and would be picking up the kids along the way, but he didn't mention anything about Edward. Alice took that to mean that my silly boy was okay and that he'd made it through his board meeting and back to Jasper and Alice's without injury, but I wasn't so sure.

It was why I breathed a huge sigh of relief when, finally, the small Craftsman home of the Whitlock's came into view.

"He's upstairs resting," Jasper chuckled as he spotted me shooting into the house in search of Edward. "First door on the left."

"Thanks!" I gasped as I ran past him and flew up the stairs, my impatience at seeing Edward multiplying with every inch he and I came closer to being together again.

I tried to catch my breath on the landing, knowing that storming in panting and looking like I'd just run the marathon would only open a floodgate of questions I didn't want, before I finally turned the handle and opened the door, my lips pulling into a huge smile the moment my eyes landed on the figure reclined on the bed.

Or should I say _figures_?

My heart clenched at the sight of Edward, curled up on the bed with his body wrapped around a little girl, both of them fast asleep and blissfully unaware of the sight they were creating.

And what a sight it was.

Looking at the two of them I couldn't help but think about the future that awaited me…._that awaited us_. Would he want this? Did _I_ want this? I was pretty sure I did, in due time of course. What did that say? Where we really meant to be, like Alice said?

I wanted to believe we were.

Right now, Edward was one of the few things about my life that were _good_ – uncomplicated and unspoiled – and I never wanted that feeling I got whenever I looked at him or even thought about him to end.

I wanted a future with him.

Knowing better than to wake him and Hannah, up right now, I shot one last fleeting look at the both of them, committing the sight to memory, before I made my way back downstairs following the noise of pans being banged around to the kitchen. "Give me something to do, Ally, before I go back up there."

Alice looked up from chopping vegetables. "Is Edward alright?"

"He's sleeping," I answered, my emotions seeping into my voice. "And Hannah is watching over him from the look of it."

"She really loves him," Alice hushed with motherly pride. "I think she sees him almost as an uncle or something."

"I know," I chuckled. "And he's as fond of her as she is of him. That girl has had Edward wrapped around her little finger from the get-go. Where's Jasper, by the way?"

"He's in his office, doing some work," Alice said, sliding a cutting board and a few vegetables needing to be cut up my way. "He'll join us in a few."

I frowned as my hands set to their task. "Did they run into trouble?"

"Don't know," Alice said. "I think they may have, though, from the way he's been shutting me out. If I didn't know for sure that me and the kids do in fact come first before his job, I'd be hurt."

"I can understand that," I chuckled, remembering how, over the last few weeks, I'd more than once woken up in the middle of the night to the sight of Edward hunched over his laptop and elbow deep into research or prep work.

I sighed, knowing I'd just have to resign myself to sharing my boyfriend with Lady Justice from time to time. It was one of the things that came hand in hand with dating a lawyer.

"You'll make it work, Bella." Alice smiled, dunking the vegetables she'd just cut up into an oven dish along with the seared leg of lamb and pushing the enormous thing into the pre-heated oven. "I know you will."

"I hope so," I muttered. "I know it's crazy. I knew that a few weeks ago I hated his guts…..But right now? I just can't see myself living without him anymore."

"Good," I jumped at the sound of Edward's grainy voice coming behind me, my heart taking a big leap when I turned and caught the intense look in his eyes, "because I don't plan on letting you go….._ever_."

My cheeks flared under the smoldering heat of his gaze, my lips involuntarily parting slightly so that my tongue could run along them as I looked back at him leaning leisurely against the doorframe.

He looked good.

No, strike that, he looked _better_ than good.

His charcoal suit pants and light blue shirt were slightly wrinkled from his nap and his hair was in an even greater state of disarray than it usually was, giving his whole demeanor a roguishly handsome appeal and making it very hard for me not to jump him right there and then in Alice's kitchen.

Speaking of Alice…..She must have felt a bit uncomfortable with all the UST buzzing around the place because she scrapped her throat, pulling us out of our visual make-out session. "Um, guys?" she squeaked. "I hate to be a cockblocking bitch here, but if you want to continue this you might wanna run back upstairs because I can't spare any flat surfaces at the moment."

My cheeks all but exploded with embarrassment. "Sorry," I muttered, going back to cutting up the vegetables for our salad while trying not to look up to see if Edward was still watching me.

"Let me get that," Alice chuckled, coming up beside me, ready to take over.

"N-no, I've got it," I stammered, not wanting to leave her to fend for herself so that I could go fawn all over my boyfriend.

She merely shucked, shoving me out of the way with her hip. "Have you seen the way your hands are shaking? With the way you're going, we'll end up in the ER instead of eating dinner tonight."

I sighed, shoving my hands into the pockets of my pants. She was probably right. They were shaking…in fact, my whole body was shaking like a junkie in a desperate need for her next fix. But I wasn't going to give in, especially not when I caught Edward's smug grin flashing my way from the doorway. So I did the very mature thing of sticking out my tongue at him and went to check on the meat while Alice artfully crafted different components into a salad that looked like a work of art.

Edward chuckled, his laughter echoing back at us long after he'd left his spot in the doorway to join Jasper in the study.

Not that I was paying all that much attention to him, though.

Really.

"You missed your calling," I chuckled as I looked at the intricate mosaic of tomato, cucumber and other colorful vegetables. "You should have become an artist….or an interior decorator." Looking around myself I couldn't help but feel immediately at home amidst the soft colors and warm, wooden furniture surrounding me. This place felt homely….lived in….which was a nice change from the Cullen home.

It wasn't exactly like I didn't enjoy living with Edward and his parents. They had a beautiful, beautiful home, the kind of place that belonged in an eight page spread in Home & Garden or Country Living or any of those other insanely expensive magazines filled with homes normal people, wouldn't be able to afford in a lifetime. But that was it: it was a gorgeous, ornately decorated museum. There wasn't any _life_ to the marble floors and furniture long ago crafted for people who were long dead.

And it affected the people too.

Carlisle….Esme…..they both went out of their ways to make me feel at home and comfortable, but the undertone of tension hanging around the place was…suffocating.

Esme was still very shaken by the stuff she'd heard while I was….away, and I couldn't really blame her. In her mind she'd always done the honorable thing – stand by your man and all that crap – but there was only so much you could turn a blind eye too. For all those years she'd looked the other way and defended Carlisle, hoping that in the end it would turn out right. She'd stubbornly suck to that tactic even when he was arrested in the hope that her brother would be able to get him out of the mess Carlisle had dug himself in and clear his name, thereby also restoring Esme back to her place in society. But right now, there was no more hiding….no more stiff upper lip.

What happened had broken her and though she tried to mask her pain and focus on others, it still showed. And while she stubbornly refused to acknowledge the huge problems she was wrestling with, there was nothing anyone could do to help her.

Carlisle on the other hand floated around the house like a ghost of a man, accepting all blame and reproach his family shot at him and hiding out in his study most of the time. He barely ate and didn't sleep that much either if the light coming from underneath his door was anything to go by. For the most time, he just did his best to blend into the dark, mahogany wainscoting, though the paleness of his skin kind of made him stand out.

And then, there was Edward.

He was trying so hard to be a good person, a good son, a good boyfriend, a good lawyer…but even someone who didn't know him at all could see that he was suffering. Like his mom, he tried to mask it but like his dad, recent events had left their mark on him. His body may have been healing, but it would take more than a miracle to heal his wounds.

"You look like you've got plenty stuff to cover in your next appointment with Zafrina," Alice chuckled, playfully prodding me in the ribs.

I snorted. "By the time she's done with me, she'll probably be able to afford a house like the Cullens'!"

"Is it really that bad?" Alice wanted to know.

"Nah," I shrugged. "Can't complain. I just wish someone would pull an intervention – Doctor Phil style – on the Cullens."

"Ah," Alice nodded, pouring two generous glasses of merlot. "The aftermath of years of pent up frustrations seeping to the surface."

"How do you know?" I asked. "Did Edward?"

"Just a lucky guess," Alice shrugged. "Or maybe not even that. I just figured from my visits and the way Edward acts….."

"Right, I keep forgetting that you dissect the human mind for a living," I chuckled, taking a sip from my wine.

"Eww!" Alice scrunched up her nose. "That sounds so gross!"

"Isn't that what you therapists do?" I challenged. "Shrink heads and prod into people's minds?"

"No!" Alice cried, though I could see she was laughing underneath a thick layer of fake indignation. "We help people!"

"By poking and prodding into their minds," I added, barely avoiding the towel she snapped at me.

"I'd really like to have a go at you right now!" Alice playfully grumbled. "But anyway…is it really that bad around the Cullens' right now?"

I shrugged. "They don't talk. In fact….they go so far out of their way to avoid all possible 'difficult' situations that the silence screams with tension and reproach."

Alice sighed. "Have you tried talking to any one of them about it?"

"I don't know," I mumbled, avoiding having to face her by pulling up the sleeves of my sweater to keep them from getting dirty. "I don't really think it's my place…."

"You live with them, Bella," Alice insisted. "That _makes_ it your place. Besides…_someone_ has to get them to talk before it's too late."

"I know," I sighed. "It's just…"

"Think about it," Alice suggested, dismissing the subject in favor of a lighter one.

The rest of our time before dinner passed much in the same fashion. We kept a very light tone, Alice probably feeling like I needed it after all the heaviness of that morning, something the arrival of Hannah and Jack, just woken up from their naps, only enhanced.

Those two kids were just too cute for words. Hannah kept asking me a million and one questions, most of them about Edward (if she'd been about twenty years older she would have offered me some fierce competition, of that I was sure) while Alice tried to feed Jack his dinner of mashed up spinach and other stuff while the little boy seemed much more interested in smearing it across every single surface his tiny little arms could reach.

It was adorable, though I doubted Alice would agree with me on that.

The boys stayed on lockdown in Jasper's study until it was time for dinner, the sound of the doorbell drawing them back out in the open again.

"Bella!" I had just enough time to prepare myself before Angela barreled into the kitchen, her arms open and her eyes twinkling with enthusiasm. "I'm so happy to see you again!"

"Umpf!" I gasped, still reeling from the impact of her body colliding with mine. "I missed you too, Ang. Though this? Not so much."

"Psah!" Angela scolded. "I bet you and that pretty boy of yours did an awful lot of that over the last couple of weeks."

When she didn't get any response from me (in fact I was desperately trying to hide my 'response' in her hair) she drew back, her eyes going wide as saucers and her mouth dropping open and shut like a fish on dry land. "Oh my God! You did!" she screeched.

"She did what?" Jasper frowned, he, Edward and Ben following Angela into the kitchen at a respectable distance.

"Believe me, Jasper," Ben chuckled, patting Jasper on the shoulder. "You probably don't want to know."

I couldn't help but agree.

"Tell me all about it," Angela ordered as soon as the boys had cleared out of the kitchen for drinks in the living room.

"You'll have more luck trying to squeeze a square peg through a round hole, honey," Alice chuckled, rolling her eyes as she came back into the kitchen after setting the dining room table. "Believe me, I've tried every damn trick in the book but nothing seems to work on that one but all I got out of it was that it was good. Which is something I could have guessed all on my own."

"Oh, don't worry," Angela reassured her, grinning evilly at me. "After all the grumping this one has submitted me to about Jacob and his tiny peen, she owes me something good."

"Hey!" I scowled. "I'm right here, you know!"

"That bad?" Alice asked, completely ignoring me.

"Please!" Angela rolled her eyes. "From what I've heard the guy couldn't find a G-spot with a map and a compass, let alone know what to do with it! I bet Edward doesn't have that kind of trouble."

"He doesn't, okay?" I snapped. "Now fuck off before I call your dad and tell him all about what I walked into that day when I wanted to borrow your _Global Politics_ notes."

She gasped. "You wouldn't!"

I gave her my best bitch-brow, crossing me arms in front of my chest as I stared her down. "Try me."

"Fine," she pouted, finally admitting defeat. "So how's things."

"Good, I guess," I shrugged. "I had my first therapy session today."

"No shit!" I thought Angela was going to choke on the cherry tomato she'd snatched off the cutting board and was this close to doing the Heimlich maneuver when she seemed to catch her breath again. "So how was that?"

"Good enough to know that this is what I should be doing, hard enough to know it's not going to be a walk in the park," I answered, not wanting to go over all of that again right now. I'd save it for when it was just the two of us, though I had no idea how long it would take before we'd have another one of our girl's nights in front of the TV. "How's the move going?"

Angela's face scrunched up in disgust. "It sucks!"

After what had happened at our apartment, I hadn't been the only one to conclude that a move was in order. Angela and Ben may not have been there at the time, but the thought alone that someone could come into their home and kidnap their friend disgusted them enough to never want to live there again. They managed to find a new place relatively quickly, especially considering the time of year, and were hard at work trying to drag all of their crap to their new place at Radford Court, another off-campus student complex where they were renting a small, one bedroom apartment for the rest of the year.

"Tell me about it!" Alice chimed in. "When Jazz and I moved here I thought I was going to go insane or kill someone or both, on the days it got really bad!"

"I know!" Angela sighed. "Apart from the fact that you never really realize how much stuff you've got until you try to pack it all up into boxes, there's so much to arrange…..I feel like I've been on hold for years, listening to the same damn elevator music every single day!"

I nodded, having gone through a lot of that same stuff myself over the past couple of days. "I guess I've got to drop by soon to clear out my room, huh?" I sighed, not particularly looking forward to going back there after what happened the last time I went.

"I could do it for you," Angela suggested, picking up on my tension.

I shook my head. "Thanks, but I think it's something I'm going to have to do on my own."

"We'll help." I hadn't even noticed Alice had breached the gap until I felt her arms around me. "I think you're right: you have to go back there at least once to face your demons and own them, but you don't have to go through all of that alone. The more people you'll have around you, the easier it will be to go back there."

I nodded, seeing her point. "So next week?"

"That'll be great!" Angela smiled. "We're planning to wrap up packing our stuff on Saturday so we'll be there to help you and with our newfound expertise we'll have your stuff in boxes in no time!"

"Hey womenfolk! Are you going to feed your men any time today or do you just sit there yapping while our dinner gets ruined?" Jasper stuck his head around the door just long enough to avoid the potato his lovely wife had chucked at his head.

"Get lost, Jazz!" Alice growled, while Jack seemed to find all of the activities extremely fascinating. "Or, if you're so bored that you have to go pester us girls to keep yourself from smashing your face into the wall: why don't you make yourself useful and put your son to bed?"

This, little Jack didn't seem to find funny at all, his hands clawing for his mom as he cried fat tears while his dad carried him off into the hallway, muttering something under his breath about women and their ways of always ordering their men around.

"Yeah, well, you married me, so that's your mistake!" Alice yelled after him, rolling her eyes at us as she shoved her tiny hands into a pair of huge oven mittens and produced the cooking tray of fragrant lamb and vegetables from the oven.

Dinner after that was lovely. We steered away from difficult subjects and were able to enjoy a nice dinner among friends were everybody was smiling and joking as if the Volturi had never even existed.

It was amazing.

As time flew by I could slowly start to feel the tension – ever present in my shoulders and my heart – start to subside, allowing me to actually enjoy the company of my friends and boyfriend without being on 'red alert'. And when it did, it was as if the colors around me suddenly got a little bit more vibrant and the sounds and smells a little less harsh and a lot more enticing. It was as if the world around me was coming back to life after I'd successfully kept it at arm's length because I was too scared to face it.

And what was even better: I could feel the same thing was happening to Edward. He was sitting back, his arm draped across the back of my chair and his long fingers playing with the ends of my hair as he listened to something Ben was saying on his other side. I could see that getting out of the house today had done him a world of good and that, combined with the little power nap he'd taken before dinner, made him look much younger than the worried, on-edge look he'd been sporting all too much lately.

Right now, he looked like the boy I'd fallen in love with and the man I wanted to spend the rest of my lifetime loving.

He must have caught the sneaky looks I kept sending his way, because the next thing I knew he leaned into me, his spicy masculine scent invading my senses even before his velvety voice crooned in my ear. "What are you thinking about?"

Having Edward speak to me like that….it was like the ultimate veritaserum. Add in the complete, dazzling power of his eyes and no woman could resist.

Not that I even _wanted_ to resist.

"You, actually," I chuckled, leaning in so that our heads were touching as I shifted my chair a little closer, his heat mixing with mine as we sat side by side.

He smiled, his breath ghosting over my skin, making the flesh of my arms break out in goose bumps. "And what is it about me that has you smiling like that?"

I shrugged, trying to hide my blush behind my hair. "Just the fact that we're here and we're together and I'm loving this….and you….more than I ever thought I could."

"So do I." His answer was immediate and filled with that same overpowering surge of emotion as I was feeling at that moment as he rested his hand on top of my leg under the table.

I smiled, glancing at him from out of the corners of my eyes. "Good."

He didn't answer, at least not with words, but as he turning his attention back to the people around us, his hand started to draw lazy patterns on my thigh, the tips of his fingers stroking up and down the inside of my leg in a way that made my brain cloud over with thoughts that were decidedly R-rated.

"Edward…." I groaned, my cheeks undoubtedly betraying the slow process of combustion that was taking place inside of me.

"How about we get out of here?" His voice was like liquid sex, dripping with promise and titillation as his hands kept stroking the inside of my leg, driving me slowly insane with frustration and anticipation.

_Yes and please. _

I was just about to answer when Jasper scrapped his throat as he tapped the handle of his desert spoon against his wine glass. "Now that I have everyone's attention….." His eyes danced with mirth as they shot over to Edward and me, my cheeks heating up as I realized we'd been overheard. "…I have an announcement to make."

Judging by the surprised look on Alice's face, she was as much in the dark as I was, her small frame buzzing with excitement and impatience as she hung on her husband's every word.

"Earlier today Garrett Masen offered me a full partnership into the firm, an offer which I have every intention of accepting." Alice's gasp overpowered all other expressions of surprise as Jasper went on. "That is….if Alice is willing to put up with the even crazier work hours and all the whining she's bound to be subjected to."

"You bet I am!" Alice cried, barreling towards her husband and launching herself fin his arms, almost taking the whole dining table with her. "I'm so proud of you honey! You've worked so hard for it and then to make partner…..and so young!"

I turned my attention back to Edward, studying his satisfied smile and relaxed attitude as he looked at the celebrations going on at the head of the table. "Something tells me you had a hand in this," I mused. I mean, not that I was very much at home in the dealings of corporate America but from the stories I'd heard about the firm of Masen & Platt, family was kind of a huge thing. Edward may not have been working at the firm for that long (or even registered with the Bar Association for that matter) but he was family, which kind of put him ahead of the pack.

His chest vibrated with laughter as he leaned back to me. "Not really. I just made sure Garrett and I were on the same page before we went into that meeting."

"Riiiiiiight," I snickered, knowing it probably hadn't gone quite that easy.

We left shortly after that. Alice and Jasper seemed like they could do with some privacy in their celebration of Jasper's promotion and, to be honest, I was starting to feel the effects of my day more and more each minute. I might not have done that much physically – well, apart from that morning's activities – but mentally it had been a very trying day for me.

And this was only the start...I shuddered to think what it was going to feel like once Zafrina would start delving deeper into my psyche and uncover all of the Volturi crap I was so desperately keeping under wraps.

Edward didn't say anything about my driving on the way back. At first I thought it was because he was as worn out as I was but as we got closer to Woodway I was starting to doubt that assessment more and more. There was something in the way his shoulders were set; the tension in his frame as he leaned away from me, staring out of the window.

"What's going on?" I asked, after respectfully – and completely in vain – giving him the time to come to me. "And don't tell me it's nothing. I can see something is going on."

"The Seattle Star is running an article on my family in tomorrow's edition," Edward sighed, giving up way earlier than I expected.

"So?" I shrugged. "It's not like they haven't done that before."

"True," he muttered darkly. "But with Tanya's help this one is bound to be even viler than the other crap they've been sprouting off about us."

In my surprise about Edward's little bombshell my foot may have accidentally hit the brakes, making the car swerve in its lane. But only for a little while.

"Jesus woman!" Edward gasped, his right hand gripping the grab handle while the other clawed into the leather upholstery for deer life. "Are you trying to get us killed?"

He may have had a point there. The only reason while we were still alive at that time was due to the fact that this far north and away from the main roads, the road was pretty much deserted. If this had been the I-5 we'd been dead by now.

_Not that I was going to admit to that out loud. _

"It's your fault!" I cried, trying to get a grip on myself and drive on as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. "You know better than to drop a bomb on me like that when I'm driving!"

I tried to look calm on the outside – not so much for myself, but I figured that Edward would appreciate the effort at least – while I was boiling on the inside.

_Tanya Denali. _That fucking bitch!

I should have torn every damn hair out of her skull while I had the chance. No, even better: I should have pulled out her hair and used it to slowly strangle her to death.

Or stab her with one of her stilettos.

Or slowly smother her in a concoction of all of those stupid products she smeared all over her face and the rest of her body.

Either way: I should have killed her before she could torment this family even more than they already had been.

"Seriously woman," Edward raged on, oblivious to my inner killing spree. "You drive like shit."

"Hey!" I scowled. "Do you want to get home or what?"

When I didn't get any answer out of him I went on. "So yeah….keep your mouth shut and let me focus on the roads and we'll both get home safe."

Edward seemed to take my advice to heart and for a while, as we drove along the 104, all that could be heard was the even purr of the engine and the soft classical music pouring from the stereo.

_Clair de Lune_. Who would have thought Edward had a taste for soft, almost girly piano songs? I would have at least pegged him as a lover of a more butch composer like Wagner or something. Though I doubted Wagner would have been able to diffuse this situation quite like Debussy could.

"So Tanya blabbed, huh?" I tried after a while.

"Seems like it," Edward answered tensely.

I sighed, drumming my fingers against the steering wheel. "Can you guys do anything about it?"

"Nope. One of the guys working the news desk put in a courtesy call to let us know they were running it, but by then it was already too late to do anything about it. Besides…..from what I was told the article is much too solid for us to stand even half a chance in a defamation suit."

This piqued my interest, not just personally but also professionally. "What do you know?"

"I knew there were probably some people out there looking to blacken my character. I guess they figure that since my dad and my uncle both turned out to be fucking criminals, I can't be that much better."

He sighed and I could hear the rustling of his clothes as he ran his hand through his hair, though I knew better than to take my eyes off the road right now. "So far I've made it kind of difficult, what with the knight-in-shining-armor stunt I pulled a couple of weeks ago, but with Tanya….."

He shrugged. "I guess she gave them what they always wanted: the proof that I was some kind of disgusting manwhore who was willing to rat out his father and destroy more than just his own career just because he was too drunk and fucked up to give a shit."

"Not to mention one who couldn't give her what she wanted in the sack," I snorted, knowing I'd made a mistake when I turned out to be the only one laughing. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," he muttered, "I deserve it."

"Edward…."

"No, Bella," he interrupted me. "I've been a very selfish man and I guess that a lot of what they are going to write about me has a core of truth to it. I deserve to be burned by the stupid stuff I've done in the past, so I'm determined to bare it with grace and resignation."

I reached out my hand, feeling around until I finally found his. "You don't deserve this."

"I do," he insisted. "The only regret I have is that I'm dragging you and mom down with me. You should be so much better off…."

"Stop it right there!" It was a good thing we'd reached the Cullen driveway by then, because I really needed to look him in the eye and get through to him. 'I don't want any of that."

He tried to look away, but I wasn't having it. With my hands free now that the car was safely parked in front of the house, I closed my hands around his face, forcing him to look me in the eye. "I love you, Edward Cullen. And I don't want to be anywhere else or be with anyone else. Not. Ever."

I knew he needed some time to digest my words, so I just sat there with his face cradled in my hands and waited as slowly understanding started to dawn on him, pulling him out of the pity-party-for-one he was wallowing in.

"Good," I nodded, as slowly the haunted, guilt ridden look on his face started to make way for the Edward I knew and loved again. "Now get your ass out of this car. I'm freezing my butt off here."

There were still lights on in the house as we walked in, his arm around my waist and my head resting in the crook of his arm, but we didn't see or hear anyone; both his parents probably doing that thing again where they drifted around the house like fucking ghosts all night.

"Are you tired?" Edward asked as he helped me out of my coat.

"A bit," I shrugged. "Like you, I've had quite the day."

He looked guilty again, but this time of the boyish kind that happens when a boyfriends forgets to ask his girl about his day – which was pretty much what had happened here. "Oh yeah," he laughed sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head. "How did therapy go?"

I sighed. "I'll tell you about it later, okay? For now I just want to forget."

His smile turned mischievous then as he offered me his arm. "Do you now? I know just the thing for that….."

And judging from the look in his eyes, I had a feeling he just might be right about that.

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	36. Chapter 36

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. I am in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise, I just use their creations to have my wicked way with them. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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_**This story wouldn't be what it is without my wonderful beta, **_**The Real Teacher**_**, holding my hand and correcting my many errors. Thank you so much!**_

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**- 35 –**

I sighed, pinching the skin between my brows as the tiny little letters in front of me started to swim which was not a good thing when you were trying to concentrate on what they were trying to tell you.

"Fuck!" I growled, my leg bouncing up and down in frustration. I really needed to focus on getting this fucking paperwork out of the way so that I could go home. _Plus, walking into the courtroom tomorrow morning actually knowing something about the case you were trying might come in handy….._

"That bad?" I looked up to see Jasper grinning at me from his usual spot against the doorpost. _Seriously, was the guy studying to be an office ornament or something? I thought his new job was going to leave him with a hell of a lot of work to do? _

"Don't start," I hissed through my teeth. "I was in court all morning which means that right now I've got to wade through all of this stuff on the DeSoto case before tomorrow morning's session in front of Judge Swift or Liam is going to have my ass."

Jasper's face was all mocked compassion. "Poor little rich boy!"

"I thought you were so fucking busy you didn't even have the time to lift your ass and fart so what the fuck are you badgering me for?" I scowled before shrugging my shoulders, my eyes gliding back to the pile of paper in front of me. "It wouldn't be so bad if I could concentrate for longer than two fucking seconds in a row."

"Right." Jasper nodded, pushing his frame back from the doorway and sauntering into the room. "I forgot that Bella has another session with Zafrina today."

"And not only that," I sighed, rubbing my hands over my face. "She's hell bent on getting to and from her appointment on her own."

Jasper's face was all understanding now, knowing that that session was going to take a lot out of Bella even without her having to wade through traffic on her own afterwards. "Ah."

Realistically I knew that Zafrina would never let Bella leave that office on her own if she wasn't convinced my girl would make it back home in once piece, but as I watched the minutes tick away on the clock, I found that reason was overestimated when it came to matters of the heart.

All I cared about was that for all I knew my girl was revisiting hell right about now and I wasn't there to help her. _And didn't that make me feel like the biggest ass in the world!_

There was nothing I wanted more right now than to take care of her but, realistically, I knew that even if I somehow could make this huge stack of paperwork disappear, she probably wouldn't let me. If she'd been stubborn before the whole business with the Volturi had gone down, she sure as hell hadn't changed her ways after. If she set her mind to something, it was going to happen, come hell, high water or God knows how many hours spent by me trying to change her mind.

"Yep," I smirked. "So now you know why I'm having trouble concentrating and it ain't got nothing to do with my fucked up pedigree."

"It will be fine," Jasper tried to reassure me. "Bella's a big girl She knows better than to be callous with her own safety."

I could only hope he was right.

A few weeks ago, there would have been no doubt in my mind that Bella was going to walk into that office, kick some psychological ass and make it back home without breaking a sweat.

Right now, though, not so much.

Bella had changed. Whatever had happened to her at that godforsaken mansion had made her more pensive and quiet than she had been before….more reserved. While part of me rejoiced in this new, sweeter version of the girl I loved, another – bigger – part of me panicked every time she withdrew into herself. It drove me wild not to know what was going on inside that mind of hers or how to help her.

I sighed, my fingers moving the papers around on my desk while being careful never to disturb the order in which they were stacked and place. _God knew I couldn't handle screwing up right now. _"Anyway," I concluded, "enough about me. Did you need me for something?"

"I do, actually," Jasper chuckled. "Gar and I need you to come into the main office to work on our response to Tanya's latest accusations."

My scowl deepened. _Tanya. Fucking bitch was just about the last person I needed to deal with right now._

Over the last week and a half, she'd been in and out of the media constantly. Following her first, very successful article, she'd managed to come back 'stronger' every time, hurtling everything from blatant lies about my family to snide remarks about me and Bella into the public domain.

She'd tried to hit me where she thought it would hurt most: my reputation.

After we'd helped to bring down the Volturi, Bella and I had had our share of media-exposure; the story of how a young lawyer and a journalism student brought down a powerful organization of the worst criminal kind imaginable being too good to pass up on and making Bella and me the next media darlings….._heroes_.

Not that I particularly liked that, though I had to admit I liked it better than the way I was being portrayed right now.

In the few moments we'd spent together, Tanya had somehow managed to pick up (or surmise) more than I ever could have imagined and now she'd used it to paint a picture of me as one of the biggest assholes walking the face of the earth.

The kind of selfish asshole who would use his family name and connections to muscle in on his father's case, even if that could have caused some serious problems for the firm representing him.

The kind of disgusting player who would spent his downtime hanging out in bars, drinking and picking up random girls to fuck and throw out on the streets again as soon as he was done getting his own pleasure instead of staying home to comfort his poor, suffering mother.

The kind of callous cad who would snatch a woman away from a loving fiancé with promises of money and advancement and break the heart and the hopes of many people just so that he could get what he wanted.

The kind of son who thought his father guilty of murder….

The tabloids all ate it up, of course, giving Tanya just the thing she'd set out to get: her own fifteen minutes of fame. But the thing that infuriated me the most in the wake of her vitriolic words was the fact that she had gotten pretty damn close to the truth.

After all, I _had_ been an asshole.

True, not quite as big a one as she claimed I was but I still knew enough of her words were true to make a defamation suit against her a hopeless undertaking that would only lead to me attention for her and more embarrassment for me, my family and the firm.

Not that I particularly liked taking the highroad, though.

I wanted to fucking kill the bitch.

"A reaction, really?" I snorted. "Whatever happened to taking the high road? Did Garrett change his mind?"

I had to admit that I'd been more than a bit surprised and disappointed by the fact that, for now, Garrett didn't want to press charges against Tanya and the Seattle Star for defamation of character. For all the time he'd been spending with my family of late, I'd expected him to be as mad as we were, not to go on about a lawsuit being just the kind of reaction they were going for and 'letting it all blow over'.

"Don't think so," Jasper smiled apologetically. "But I think he's looking into you giving a short interview with a more respectable newspaper where you get your side of things out in the open."

I arched one of my brows. "Really?" I'd thought about a similar tactic myself but instantly dismissed it; the risk of me screwing up more than I could ever fix by talking to the press filling me with an immediate performance anxiety. But if Garrett believed I could pull this off, I just might…provided I didn't spill anything about my dad's case or the upcoming case against the Volturi, it might work.

Jasper shrugged, motioning for me to follow him into Garrett's huge office at the end of the hallway.

With most of the media storm about the Volturi-arrests dying down again, things at the office had slowly quieted back down. Liam and Jasper had settled into their new positions and were shining in their new roles as senior partner and partner in the firm. For me, of course, it also meant that things were changing in my workplace. With Jasper gone I was starting to pick up some more responsibilities around the firm as well as coming to grips with working under Liam, who was my new direct boss.

I was lucky. Not only did Liam turn out to be an okay kind of guy, he was also a great mentor. He may not be as experienced as Garrett was and Eli had been but what he lacked in seniority, he more than made up in fire and passion for the trade.

Plus, he also knew what it was like to be me – fresh out of law school and starting out at a new firm. We were eager and dying to proof ourselves, but had no real experience in the courtroom or in the day to day proceedings at the firm other than the stuff we'd learned during our internships.

He allowed me and the other associates working under him to grow while still keeping an eye on us to prevent us from making any kind of mistakes that would reflect bad upon the firm. It felt almost like I was back at Peter and Charlotte's firm, the one I'd left in Boston when I came back home.

It felt great.

It felt like, among all the ugliness that had entered my life and Bella's, there was finally something to be happy about and look forward to every day.

A future.

"Ah, Edward!" Garrett's eyes lit up as Jasper and I walked into the room. "I trust Jasper already told you about our plan?"

"You want me to talk to the press?" I verified.

"Hard to believe, huh?" Garret snickered, his hands folded around the back of his head as he leaned back in his chair. He went on when I nodded. "I wish I could take credit for the plan. But I can't It was actually your missus who brought it up."

"My…." I frowned, trying to digest his words.

"Bella?" Garrett snickered. "You know her. Short little spitfire who sleeps next to you every night? That one."

"How…." I went on, apparently unable to utter any sentence longer than one word.

Garrett seemed to enjoy my confusion very much. "I just got off the phone with her. Apparently she'd been having lunch with one of her newspaper friends and they got to talking about your recent stint as Seattle's latest 'media darling'. Apparently that friend of hers brought this up…."

"And Bella called you?" I interrupted, still not quite getting to grips with the fact that apparently my girlfriend had called my boss instead of me; her _boyfriend_.

"You were still in court, I guess," Garrett shrugged. "And she called Jasper, to be honest, but he put her through to me when he she told him her suggestion."

I scratched my head, beyond caring if that made the already scraggly mess of hair on top of my head stand even more on end. "When did all of this happen?"

"A few hours ago." Garrett held up his hand, stopping me before I could interrupt him this time. "We wanted to put in some calls, make sure there was a respectable newspaper willing to work with us on this one, before we brought you in. The newspaper friend seemed to be convinced that _The Daily_ was the newspaper to go with but we figured we'd be better of picking something that had a more….wider audience."

"Right," I muttered, understanding now how it must be for my dad to stand by while others were running around, trying to organize your life for you. _It sucked. No wonder dad looked so sullen all the time. _"And did you find someone?"

"We did, actually," Jasper chimed in. "You have an appointment with a mister Alastair Moore at eight AM sharp, tomorrow morning at Joe's diner on Broadway. You should be able to say what you have to say and make it out of there with more than enough time to make it to court."

I nodded, making a mental note of the time.

"Don't be late," he warned me, "and don't say anything that will get us in trouble or you're fired. Don't think I forgot what it was that got us into this whole Tanya Denali mess in the first place."

"Noted," I sighed, knowing he had a point there. _It figured that I would be the one to clean up the mess since, as he'd so aptly put, I was the one who created it by trying to poke my dick behind enemy lines. _

"Good," Garrett nodded, a satisfied smile playing on his lips. "Now get out of here. I've got a client coming in and I'm sure you two have got better things to do than hang around here lookin' pretty."

Jasper grinned, shaking his head as he opened the door. "But you have to admit that the two of us are mighty pretty, boss."

He and I left before Garrett could throw some kind of office supply at us, both grinning from ear to ear as we heard our boss mumble something about 'damned young yuppie lawyer scum and their arrogant ways'.

"So…." I drawled as we lingered outside the door,. "Any news on my dad's case?"

Jasper smirked, shifting around uncomfortably from one foot to the other. "Not much I can share."

I huffed, pinching the bridge of my nose in frustration. "What _can_ you tell me?"

It wasn't as if I didn't understand why Jasper and Garrett couldn't share stuff about my dad's case as freely with me as when I was still part of the team, it just made me feel kind of left out of the loop. I knew it was only right an proper for a son to stay as far away as he could from his own dad's murder case, but being involved…knowing what the fuck was going on…..it had made me feel kind of connected to dad in a way that had been missing from the rest of my life. It was like helping my dad made it harder to hate him and keep my distance.

Now that that connection was gone, I hardly knew how to talk to him or even look at him. Not that he was making it any easier for me….The way he moved around the house like some kind of stray dog, expecting to be beaten the minute someone noticed he was there, made it hard to strike up a conversation even if I _had_ known what to talk to him about.

And then there was mom…

Bella had been right when she'd broached the subject of my dysfunctional family a couple of weeks back. To the outside world my mom may have been coping with the discoveries she'd been forced to make in a miraculous way, the ones who really knew her, knew how hard she was taking all of this.

She just didn't know what to do anymore. Her husband, whom she had stood by through good times and bad – as she had promised on her wedding day – had turned out to be nothing more but a common crook, and her brother – whom she had always looked up to and almost revered – had turned out to be an even worse kind of human being. In a way, she'd lost them both even though dad was around much more now than he had been in the last ten years together and her brother was safely locked away in King County jail.

But that wasn't all.

Maybe, if all there had been to it had been my dad and uncle getting arrested and standing trial, she would have been able to cope with it as well as everyone thought she was. After all, mom had always possessed of a miraculous ability to bounce back from adversity. Who knows what she could have done if she'd have had anything to fall back on?

But the thing was….she didn't.

When dad had been arrested, it had affected more than just mom's personal life. Throughout her whole adult life and maybe even before that, mom had used the position she had in society to do as much as she could for those who didn't have as easy a life as she had. Over the last thirty years she'd been involved in just about every charity that crossed her path. She'd been a welcome guest at many gala's and charity balls in town and a generous bidder at the various auctions benefitting the needy….

But all of that was gone now; her whole life up in smoke the moment the police had turned up to arrest my dad for murder.

After my dad had been arrested, the invitations had stopped as quickly as the changing of tides. It seemed that not one of the charities my mom had given so much of her time and hard work to, wanted to be associated with the wife of a murder suspect, ironically enough not even the one that claimed it was trying to help former inmates find their way back into society.

And so she sat at home, every night, when only a few months ago she would have been out and about meeting the people she thought were her friends and doing the things she held more important than anything else. I figured she must have been bored out of her skull, even if she waved away every suggestion Bella and I made to include her into our plans claiming she 'didn't want to intrude on our time alone'.

"Edward?" Jasper nudged me, trying to get my attention.

I looked up. "Huh?"

"Did you hear _anything_ I just said?" he asked, snorting loudly when all I gave him was a vacant look. "I was saying that we hadn't really gotten any further with the DA's office seeing as they don't want to take the murder charges off the table and we don't want to go ahead until they do."

"Right." I nodded, knowing that this was the deadlock the prosecution and defense had held each other in for weeks now.

"Time is running out, though," Jasper went on, "and your dad is getting more and more impatient."

I frowned. "What do you mean?"

"He wants to see the Volturi-ringleaders go to jail and he wants to be the one to send them there – or at least one of the people," Jasper explained. "Most of all, he wants to come clean to the police…."

I nodded, already knowing my dad's desire to do 'the right thing' for once in his life.

"It makes our job kind of hard, though," Jasper smirked. "We want to give him the best possible deal and we feel that we can only do so by holding out until the state prosecutors drop the murder charges…."

"Which they're not going to do," I finished.

Jasper nodded. "We've got another meeting with Fisher in an hour, though. He called us this morning claiming he had 'something to discuss with us'."

"Do you think he's going to offer a new plea deal?"

He shrugged. "I hope he does. I don't know how long we can keep your dad happy before he cowboys out on us and goes to the police on his own account."

I cringed. "That bad?"

"You really should talk to him, Edward," Jasper sighed, rubbing the goatee he was trying to grow. "I know things around your place are…difficult…."

I snorted. _You could say that again! _

"…but your dad is wrestling with some pretty heavy stuff right now. And as much as you may hate or resent him or want to blame him for stuff he did in the past, he needs your help. Talk to him, before it may be too late."

I stopped him, my hand heavy on his shoulder as I narrowed my eyes, trying to read the expression on his face. "What are you saying?"

"Whichever way you twist this, your dad is going to jail," Jasper explained as we reached his office. "I'm just thinking that you might want to set the record straight before there are bars between the two of you. You have a chance to make this right….I think you should take it."

"I'll think about it." I sighed, looking past him at the clock on the far wall of his new office space. _Thee PM. If everything went according to plan. Bella would be on her way back right now. _

"Go home, Cullen," Jasper snickered, his eyes following mine. "Be with your girl."

"I can't…." I started.

"Yes you can," Jasper countered. "Personal experience has taught me that no matter how hard you try, you can't focus on your work when your heart's at home. No matter how hard you try, you won't be able to come up with anything good before you know Bella's alright."

"Fine," I gave in, knowing he was right.

Jasper chuckled. "Just make sure to keep a log on your hours. Garrett is going to throw a major hissy fit if he's cheated out of some of his precious 'billable hours' because you were too lazy to keep a register."

I snorted. Garrett would have made a mean accountant if he hadn't chosen to settle into the law, but for all his nagging about all of us keeping a close track of the hours we made, the firm was flourishing again, which wasn't something a lot of us had been expecting.

In fact, it was nothing short of a miracle.

"Get out of here!" Jasper snickered, playfully shoving me in the direction of my office. As I made my way to my office I heard him call after me, "And tell Bella I said thank you for the advice. Alice loved her idea of me taking her to see that new exhibition on Quileute art at the _Art Museum_."

It took me all of five minutes to log off, shove the paperwork into my briefcase and lock up, the elevator taking way too long to bring me back to the garage where my car was waiting for me.

_Mine. My own. My precious._

I knew that if Bella were there, she'd launch into another one of her lectures about how cars were nothing more than 'modes of transportation' or 'mere appliances' and how ridiculous it was to get emotionally attached to them, but as I slid into the driver's seat and let the engine purr to life with a mere flick of my wrist, I couldn't stop a huge smile from settling onto my face.

_Ah, the joys of being back behind the wheel again…_

I'd only been cleared to drive again a couple of days ago, my wound now as good as healed and my body bounced back from being almost dead.

It still felt kind of surreal, knowing that I'd been dead for a while and that, had it not been for the EMT's shocking me back to life, I wouldn't be here there right now.

If anything, it only made me appreciate life even more and want to live it to the fullest.

With the people I loved the most.

I made it back home in record time. With traffic not being quite so gruesome at this hour of day as it normally was, I was able to step on the gas, the engine revving enthusiastically as I tested some of its strength.

I couldn't fully enjoy it, though, because as much as I loved being back behind the wheel and having my car to myself, right now my worry for Bella overrode everything else.

I was relieved to see her car parked safely on the driveway when I finally made it home, the new paintjob shining in the watery, late-November sunlight as I pulled up next to it.

No matter how much I'd pleaded with her to let me buy her a new and more reliable car than good old _Jerry Garcia_, Bella wouldn't budge. Jerry was part of her history and with everything else around her falling apart, I could sort of imagine how she'd want to hold on to those few things that remained the same. And her truck was definitely one of those things.

After some gentle – and some not so gentle – persuading she had agreed to have her truck put through a complete overhaul, though, because as fond as she may have been of her truck, even Bella could see why it would do her no good to get stuck somewhere between Seattle and Woodway because the archaic engine couldn't hack it. In the end only the bodywork had remained, the rest being redone, rewired, updated and repainted, making the truck look a lot better than it used to be while still being the same old Jerry Garcia. And still being so…._Bella. _

I grinned at the stark contrast of Bella's beloved sturdy old truck against the polished elegance of everything surrounding it. Like everything else, it had breathed a bit of life into our dreary existence. Or at least….it made a brave attempt to do so.

Looking up at the elegant stone façade made me sigh. After Bella and I had come home from our hospital stay, I had hoped that things would slowly return to normal, but regrettably they hadn't. My parents still went out of their way to avoid each other while acting as if nothing out of the ordinary had ever come to pass, creating a suffocating atmosphere in the house that was thick with resentment and regret.

It was why Bella and I, in turn, went out of our way to avoid _them_, preferring instead to spend as much time as we could in my rooms, creating out own little Eden, far away from the rest of the world where we talked, laughed and made love and tried our best to erase the past.

But it was still there and the lingering effects of it were what made me speed into the house and rush up the stairs to be by Bella's side.

"Edward? Is that you?" I groaned when my mom's voice, coming from the kitchen, made me screech to a stop halfway up the stairs.

I growled out a reply, my mood sinking even further when I spotted her coming out into the hallway, a dishtowel draped across her shoulder. "You're home early."

"I wrapped up all of my meetings early and figured I might as well do my paperwork from home," I shrugged, somehow feeling like I had to justify my decision to my mom. It frustrated me, even though I knew she'd never judge me for picking my girlfriend over my job.

"It's good you're here." I smiled as my mom immediately confirmed my assessment. "I think Bella may have had a tough time in therapy today…."

My lips pressed into a tense line, knowing exactly what that meant. "How bad is it?"

"I can't say," mom answered, her sadness and compassion thick in her voice. "I was just basting the chicken when I heard her come in and when I finally had my hands free, she'd already gone upstairs…."

I nodded. "Thanks, mom."

Over the past couple of weeks mom and I had gotten used to Bella walking into the house like a ghost, her mind far away as her body moved like a robot until it found some quiet place to think about and digest the stuff she'd just worked though in her session with Zafrina.

It freaked me out, even though she'd always snap out of it after a couple of hours. I knew it was just her mind's way of dealing with what happened but even so…..that vacant look in her eyes killed me every time.

"Will the two of you be joining me for dinner tonight? Or do you want me to take up a tray to your room?" Mom's voice pulled me out of my thoughts and looking down at her I noticed how she was fidgeting with the towel. "I finally got your dad to join us so I was hoping…."

"I don't know, mom." I sighed, wishing I could give mom the answer she was hoping for. "But I'll do my best."

"My dear boy." Mom's lips pulled into a warm and genuine smile as I leaned down the banister to kiss her cheek. "Now go. Take care of your girl."

She didn't have to say that twice.

When I made it into the room that served as our sitting room/study, I found her seated in the window seat, her head leaning against the cool glass as she gazed out onto the garden and Puget Sound beyond it.

"Bella?" I announced my presence, not wanting to scare her by sneaking up on her. _I'd learned the hard way how much of a mistake that would be. _

"Hmmm?" Her eyes never left whatever she was looking at outside, her hand coming up to draw patterns into the condensation her breath had left on the glass as her shoulders pulled up in tension.

I slowly moved into the room, setting my bag next to my desk before making my way over to the window. "How did your session with Zafrina go?"

"She wants me to try going back to the university," Bella stated, her eyes dashing quickly to mine before returning back to the garden.

I sighed, knowing how Bella was still having difficulties being around crowds of people. "And what do _you_ want?" I sat down at the opposite end of the seat, taking her feet into my lap, my fingers massaging the firm, soft skin through her socks.

She let out a deep breath. "I don't know."

"Sure you do." I shook my head, not letting her fob me off with an evasive answer.

Her lips drew into a smile as she realized I was on to her, her face finally turning towards me as she answered my question in earnest. "I _want_ to go back, but I don't know if I _can_."

I shrugged, offering her what I hoped was an encouraging smile. "There's only one way to find out."

"Do you know that those were the exact same words Rose spoke to me when I discussed it with her?" Bella chuckled. "I wish it was that simple, though."

"I know," I nodded, Bella's chuckled turning into giggles when I lifted one of her feet into the air and placed a kiss on her sole before releasing it again. "But do you think you're up to giving it a try?"

She took her time to think before answering. "I think I am," she finally spoke, her voice hesitant and unsure. "I _have_ to be."

"I'm proud of you, sweetheart," I assured her. "You're trying so hard….."

"Yeah, but I'm nowhere near there yet," she interrupted me. "I still have to far to go and….."

"Come here." I opened my arms for her, waiting until finally she bridged the gap and crawled into my lap, my arms closing around her as I buried my face into her hair. "You're _trying_ and that's all that matters to me."

"Even if I fail?" she asked in a tiny voice, her hands gripping me like I was a life buoy.

"Even if you fail," I repeated matter-of-factly. "After all, if you flunk out of college now, we'd have more than enough time to start working on those eight babies we agreed upon when we were kids."

"_You_ agreed upon," she corrected me. "If I remember it correctly I was never asked for my opinion, even if I will be the one to carry them around and push them out through a hole that seems nowhere near big enough for a human being to come out through. Even if it's just a baby."

I chuckled, though I had to admit that the thought of having a baby with Bella – a tiny human being created by the two of us – didn't seem as scary and foreign an idea as it used to be. In fact, I found it more appealing than I probably should.

We sat there in a perfect, comfortable silence, snuggled closely together in the window seat as we watched the sun slowly dip behind the horizon, the water of Puget Sound seeming almost on fire as the fading twilight reflected in it, before all the world turned dark.

"Thanks," Bella whispered, kissing the sliver of skin that had been uncovered when I loosened my tie and unbuttoned the top buttons of my dress shirt. "For being there for me today. You have no idea how much it meant to me to have you here…..even if I haven't been much fun to be around."

"I always love being with you," I assured her, "even when you're down and quiet and I'm going out of my mind trying to find out what's going on inside that head of yours….."

I could still see the disbelief in her eyes and it made me crazy. _How could she not see how special she was? How much she'd changed me for the better? How much I craved being with her, ever moment of the day? _

"Hey." I cradled her face in my hands, forcing her to look at me and see the truth in my words. "I don't ever want you to feel like you're a burden or anything but the best thing that ever happened to me, Bella. I _love_ you."

She crumbled, her bottom lip trembling as her eyes filled with tears. "Show me?"

My lips were on hers before she was even done asking, kissing her sweetly and chastely before pulling back again, rubbing my nose softly against hers before I spoke. "I will never _stop_ showing you."

She whimpered, her hands gripping my shoulders as my hands slid down from her cheeks down her shoulders and down her spine until they cupped her ass cheeks, pulling her into me until she was straddling my lap. "Do you feel it, angel?" I asked, my voice husky with my need for her. "Do you feel how much I want you….how much I _need_ you?"

I grinned as a small moan rose from Bella's throat, her hips slowly grinding into mine, almost as in a caress, as my hands continued to explore every rise and slope of her body through the fabric of her clothes while my nose was buried in the crook at the base of her neck, trying to breathe her in.

_Well, about those clothes….it was about time they were coming off._

"I want to get you naked," I hummed against her skin, the static cackling around us as my hands ripped the lumpy woolen cardigan she was wearing over her head and threw it across the room. "I want that beautiful body of yours, spread out and ready for me on the bed….."

"Yes," Bella's breathy voice called out, her eyes clouded and dilated with lust, her back arching as she offered her lace clad chest to me like an offer on an altar, my hands immediately granting her wish, my thumbs flicking her pebbled peaks as I enclosed those modest, perfect round orbs in my hands.

"…..I want to kiss, lick and caress every single sliver of your skin until you can't stand it anymore….." I let my voice trail off, kissing her deeply as my hands drifted back to her ass, her legs automatically closing around me as I stood up and crossed the room without ever breaking our kiss.

"And I will make you see – again and again – just how much I want you…." I threw her on the bed, my body immediately joining her and crawling over her until we were pressed flush against each other, Bella's chest rising and falling against mine with her shallow, lust-labored breaths.

"…..and need you….." I ground my hips in hers to emphasize my words, eliciting another delicious moan from my girl's lips.

"…..and can't stand the thought of ever being without you," I finished, kissing a trail from her lips down to her cleavage as my hands went to work at opening the front clasp of her bra.

"Fucking perfect." I purred lowly in my chest as finally – after concluding that bra-clasps were the instrument of the devil, whether they closed on the front or the back – Bella's beautiful breasts were revealed to me, her skin breaking out in goose bumps as it was exposed to the cool air.

Bella's hands gripped my hair as I dove in, kissing and nipping her tender skin. "All yours," she gasped, her hips twisting off the bed in search of friction, "…..I'm all yours."

I snarled, her words fuelling my lust until it burned like a wildfire, my dick now painfully hard and begging for relief in its much too close confines of my boxer briefs.

But this wasn't about me.

This was about me showing Bella how much she meant to me…..how much she was loved.

So I snapped to it.

I shed the remained of her clothes, my hands running up her naked legs as I crawled back towards her. "You're so fucking beautiful, Bella," I whispered, kissing the smooth expanse of her flat stomach, my tongue dipping into her belly button before licking a trail down.

Her eyes widened when she realized what I was going to do, though judging from the way her fingers were digging into the mattress it wasn't fear that had caused them to do that.

I chuckled, my hands parting her legs to accommodate me. "Fuck you're so wet for me," I gasped, as her glistening flesh was revealed to me. "I can't wait to get a taste of you….."

My comments garnered another whimper, her body squirming with impatience as I took my time to drink in the sight before me. "Edward…." Her voice sounded almost pained as she cried out, my lips pulling into a smug, crooked grin at the thought that it was me who made her that desperate before I dove in.

It was _me_ she wanted and – God – did I want _her_.

"I can never get enough of you." I groaned as the taste of Bella – pure, unadulterated Bella – hit my pallet in all her tangy sweetness, her body squirming underneath my hands as they wound around her things, keeping her in place.

"Edward…." My name sounded like a desperate prayer, falling from her lips. "Oh….fuck….God…._Edward_!"

I smiled against her flesh, freeing one of my hands to enter her, my fingers sliding into her wet heat and curling upwards to find the key to her release.

It was only moments after that I could feel her walls clenching around me, her hands pulling my hair to a degree of pain as she came undone beneath me with my name falling from her lips over and over again.

It was the most beautiful sight in the world.

And it made me want nothing more than to bury myself inside her, be close to her in a way that only lovers could. And so with that thought in mind I quickly got rid of my clothes before joining Bella – who was just regaining her breath after coming down from her high – back on the bed.

She welcomed me with open arms, her lips soft and yielding against mine as she wrapped her body around me. "I love you."

"Fuck," I closed my eyes, leaning my forehead against hers as I lined myself up at her entrance, my mind overwhelmed with emotion and my body with lust as I gently pushed forward. "I love you too…_my Bella_."

We made love slowly, languidly, holding on to each other as our lips and limbs collided in a growing intensity, the air around us filled with moans and groans and electricity and _sex_ as our movements grew more frantic and needy until we crashed over the edge; Bella minutes before I followed.

"Forever," she whispered, her body falling back against the mattress, her cheeks blushing with the strain of our activities as she kissed my clammy skin.

I smiled back at her, reluctantly sliding out of her and pulling her into my arms as my lips mirrored her words. "Forever."

She snuggled into my hold, pulling the rumpled sheets up to cover our naked forms as we laid there in a perfect, comfortable silence.

"What are you going to do now?" I asked after a while, my fingers ghosting over the naked skin of her shoulder while hers traced lazy patterns over my chest.

She chuckled, her chocolate brown eyes shining up at me as she shifted onto her stomach, her naked limbs tangling with mine. "What? As in right now?"

The glint in her eyes told me I was going to like whatever she was thinking about, but I didn't let it deter me. "I was more thinking about the foreseeable future."

She pouted. "You're no fun!"

I rolled my eyes at her. "So what are your plans?"

"You mean apart from making love to my hot lawyer boyfriend?"

"Bella…" I groaned, trying more than anything to remain a good, supportive boyfriend even though she was literally making it very hard for me.

"Fine," she finally gave in, flopping dramatically onto her back. "I think I'll have to make an appointment at the Advise Office first and foremost to see what I can do about to make up for the stuff I missed and look at my options to switch my focus from news journalism to research…I don't think I could ever go for a scoop as I did before given….given what happened so I'd be wise to change my focus….."

"It seems like you've already put a lot of thought into it." I smiled, taking her silence for assent. "Do you miss it? Going to school?"

She sighed. "I do. As much as I've tried to keep up with assignments and have Rose brief me on what I missed in class….it just isn't the same."

I chuckled, kissing the top of her head. "Then you're ready."

"I hope so." Her voice sounded weary, the events of the day finally catching up with her as she stifled a heavy yawn. "Do you mind if I take a nap? Today's session was kind of intense and I'm feeling completely wiped out at the moment. Plus, I bet you have a ton of paperwork to get to."

"Do you want me to wake you up for dinner?" I asked. "Mom's planned quite a meal from the smell of it and she even got my dad to put in an appearance."

She shook her head. "I don't really feel like eating right now. Besides….I think the three of you need to have some time to talk….as a family. I'll only feel out of place. Maybe I'll pinch some leftovers later?

"I'll save you some of the good stuff," I chuckled, kissing her one last time before I slid out of bed and got dressed, Bella's deep breaths telling me she'd already fallen asleep before I even settled behind my desk, scowling at the massive pile of legal documents in front of me.

I worked steadily for the next hour or so, wading my way through witness reports and making notes when I came across something that might help me get the best possible outcome for my client.

Bella was still fast asleep when I finally made my way downstairs, my feet dragging at the prospect of spending yet another awkward dinner with my mom and dad.

Not that we'd had much of those lately.

Mom and dad were already seated when I walked into the dining room, their body language spelling 'awkward'.

"I'm sorry I'm late," I muttered, sliding into the empty chair. "Did I miss anything?"

Mom's lips pulled into a tight line as dad fidgeted, both of them answering my question without any obsolete words being uttered.

The whole awkward theme continued through the first part of dinner, the only thing cutting through the sounds of cutlery hitting fine china being those common phases you could never go wrong with.

That was, until my dad dropped a bomb on us.

I was just polishing off my plate of roast chicken when he scrapped his throat, demanding our attention. "I have an announcement to make."

He waited until he was sure he had out attention before he went on. "This afternoon, my legal team and I reached an agreement with the state prosecutors…."

He licked his lips, seeming a little uneasy as mom and I waited impatiently for him to continue. "The details of it need to be hashed out but it involves minimal jail time in a low security prison out of state in exchange for my testimony in the Volturi trial…."

"What else?" Mom's sharp voice cut me to the chase, both of us wary of dad's far too upbeat tone.

_Something was wrong with this picture.…_

He sighed, running his hand through his hair, his face looking much older than it used to look. "I will have to plead guilty to the murder of Jane Foster…"

"No!" Mom's voice shot through the room, me and dad jumping a little as her small fists slammed on the table top, making the fine China and silverware bounce on top of the pristine white tablecloth. "You can't do that Carlisle! You can't admit to a murder you didn't commit!"

He shrugged, an empty self-deprecating look in his eyes. "Didn't I? Don't you think that girl would have been dead today if I didn't…."

He took a few deep breaths, the sharpness of every inhale and exhale echoing through the laden silence that had fallen over the room. "When Jane came to me for help, I knew there was a ninety percent chance of someone finding out and I knew what was going to happen if they did. Believe me, Esme. I'm as guilty of that girl's murder as the murderer is."

"Dad," I intervened, only to be interrupted the second I spoke up.

"No, son." I could see the resolve in the way his mouth was set even before he spoke the words. "My mind's made up and – as per my instructions – Garrett has already notified the prosecution of my decision."

"So that's it?" mom shrieked. "You're just going to admit to murder and be done with it? Tell me Carlisle? Who do you think you're helping with this ridiculous course of action?"

She shook her head when she saw my dad shift uncomfortably in his seat, his unease confirming her suspicions and adding more fuel to her fire. "Do you think that poor girl's family is going to rest any easier now that you admitted to murdering their loved one? I think not. Not while the real murderer is still out there, free as a bird because the police won't put any effort into finding him now that they've gotten you to admit to the crime he committed."

"And what about us?" she went on after taking a few deep breaths. "What about your own family? Did you ever stop to think what it will mean for us to be the wife and son of a convicted murderer?"

Dad cringed. "Esme…."

"You've already destroyed the social and professional life I've spent years building for myself, but I would have thought better of you than to come back and do the same thing for your son_. Our boy!_" she seethed.

"I didn't…"

"You didn't think, did you?" she interrupted him before he could get a word in. "Because if you did, you may have realized that, though Edward is very happily situated in the family firm right now, he's never going to be able to work anywhere else thanks to you."

I felt the blood leave my face as I listened to my mother's rant. In my shock about my dad's decision I'd never stopped to think about the implications it might have for me. She was right, though…..

"Any firm worth a damn is going to take one look at his name and reject him," she went on. "No amount of talent is ever going to outweigh the damage a bad reputation will do. You _know_ that!"

"Damn it, Esme." We all jumped as dad slammed his first onto the table. "Will you be quiet for just one second and listen to me before you pass judgment?"

He waited until mom, calmed down or was too shocked to object, nodded. "I know all of that and believe me, the decision I made hasn't been an easy one…..but it was the only way I saw to make sure the Volturi would be put behind bars."

"There were other ways, dad." I shook my head, disappointed that dad had given up so easily when he could have gone down fighting or even saved the day.

"Really?" he challenged me. "Because as good a lawyer as Garrett is, he's still no miracle worker and you and I both know that with the evidence they have against me, it would have taken nothing short of a miracle to get me acquitted."

"You could have at least tried!" I snapped.

"I could have." Dad sighed, shrugging his shoulders. "But in the end I would have gone down just as well, and the consequences would have been far more severe in that case. No….." He shook his head as if to convince himself as well as everyone else. "This decision has been the right one – the only one."

"So what's going to happen now?" Mom's voice sounded as empty and robotic as it had back when she first heard about my dad's history with the Volturi and I knew that, right now, she was operating on autopilot, her mind solely focused on forming a plan while her emotions were safely locked away in a place that could not be reached by anyone else. "Do we have until dessert before the police come to cart you off to prison or will we have the pleasure of enjoying our crème brullee in peace?"

"We have some time," dad replied calmly. "The final plea agreement still needs to be hashed out and a judge will have to sign off on it before it can go into effect. Before that happens, though, the police will be by to record a video testimony of all my dealings with the Volturi as part of our agreement."

My head shot up, my eyes narrowing as they zoned into his. "A video testimony?"

I could see something flashing inside his eyes before he tried to shrug it off, acting as if this wasn't highly unusual and very unsettling. "Just in case something goes wrong….."

I swallowed hard, knowing exactly what dad meant. _In case something went wrong….in case he would end up getting killed in prison before he could take the stand….._

"Carlisle…." Judging from the sound of her voice, mom had come to the same conclusion.

"It's just a precaution," dad shrugged, continuing to play it off as no biggie. "Part of the agreement stipulated that I'll be transferred to an out-of-state facility as soon as I've given testimony in court. Until that day comes, they'll make sure I'm kept as far away from the Volturi as can be… They won't be able to get to me."

I wish his worlds could leave me as convinced of his safety as he seemed to be – or feigned to be, at least. But I wasn't.

I knew that the prosecution had to be worried about my dad's safety, or they never would have taken a step like this. Having witnesses record a video testimony before the case would go to trail wasn't completely unheard of, but it was still unusual in cases where the witness would be on hand to give evidence in court, rendering the tapes and all the money and effort put into making them, useless.

They wouldn't be wasting tax-payers' money on a scheme like this if they didn't think they'd be benefitting from it.

"I-I just…." Mom's voice broke on her words, her frame hunching over the table as she finally gave into her emotions.

Dad rushed to her side, my lips pulling into a small smile as I watched him cradle mom's slight frame in his arms and – more importantly – watched her _let_ him_._ For the first time in weeks, my parents were trying to get through this together. _Like a couple would_.

It made me feel a tiny spark of hope that maybe my dad's imprisonment would not mean the end of _them_. Maybe they'd get through this.

"I…." I started, feeling like I should give them some space to talk and work through the vast flood of anger and resentment that had kept them apart until now alone but not wanting to sneak off like a thief in the night. "I'll be upstairs….checking on Bella."

Dad smiled, taking his eyes off my mom for only the tiniest hint of a moment before focusing his attention back on his wife – where it belonged – as I slinked out of the room and made my way upstairs.

Bella was still asleep when I came in, her eyes fluttering as the light from the landing caught her face. "Edward?" she muttered sleepily.

"It's me," I confirmed, quickly shedding my clothes before crawling into bed with her.

Her body molded itself to mine as she hummed in satisfaction, her eyes never opening although I knew her to be awake. "How did dinner go?"

I chuckled at the sound of her voice, sleepy but still curious. _I guess no amount of Volturi interference could ever kill the reporter living inside that girl._

"We talked," I surmised. "Dad cut a deal because he thinks that's the only way to bring down the Volturi with him and now he's going to jail while Jane's killer might still be out there." I froze, not stopping to think how this might be a touchy subject as far as Bella was concerned until the words had already left my mouth.

F she felt any kind of panic, though, she didn't show it. "How does your mom feel about that?"

"She's pretty shaken." I smirked, the memory of my mom, hunched into a ball as she cried onto dad's shoulder flashing through my mind. "But what do you expect? At least it got the two of them – mom and dad – to talk."

"That's one thing." I could hear the smile in Bella's words. "And how do you feel?"

"I don't know," I replied honestly.

She snorted. "Of course you do."

I sighed, knowing she was right. "I hate that dad is admitting to murder out of some sense of obligation to help put the Volturi behind bars. I know that this was the best deal he could cut, given the circumstances but it's just….I don't know. I just don't want to see him go down for a crime he didn't commit."

"And…."

I smiled, realizing how well Bella knew me. "There's something else…..He's going to give a full testament of his dealings with the Volturi on video, even before the case will go to court and I just…it doesn't feel right."

"Oh?" Bella shifted, her brown eyes shimmering as they caught a few rays of light seeping in from the crack underneath the door. "Why?"

"It makes me feel like….I don't know…..something's going to go wrong."

* * *

_**Is Edward right to feel worried? What did you think about Carlisle's confession? Or Tanya's quest to ruin Edward's reputation? **_

_**Follow me on twitter for updates on my writing and everything else. I'm missbaby25 over there. **_

_**Loved it? Hated it? Please let me know. As always….reviewers will receive a teaser for the next chapter. **_


	37. Chapter 37

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. I am in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise, I just use their creations to have my wicked way with them. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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_**This story wouldn't be what it is without my wonderful beta, **_**The Real Teacher**_**, holding my hand and correcting my many errors. Thank you so much!**_

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**- 36 -**

I sighed, twisting my body to watch the annoying red lights on the alarm clock for what must have been the millionth time since I woke up at four AM, panting and sweaty with the lingering effects of yet another nightmare.

_Five fifteen._

I rubbed my eyes, knowing that no matter what I tried, I was never going to go back to sleep….not with the vision of Aro killing Edward right in front of my eyes still fresh in my memory. I knew nothing like that had ever happened in real life. I knew most of the Volturi – the most dangerous ones at least – were behind bars. I knew we were both safe here, what with all the security posted around the house. I knew all of that but still my mind never seemed to have accepted those certainties. It was at times like these when I wondered if I was ever going to be able to get past it.

I wondered if I would ever be free again of the chains the Volturi had locked me in.

Sure, I was making progress. Crowds didn't scare me as much as they used to anymore – at least, not as long as I kept focusing on the breathing exercises Zafrina had taught me – and I was slowly but surely starting to regain trust in myself and the world around me, but it seemed like the harder I tried to 'be normal', the more vivid my nightmares became.

And they were something I couldn't just 'breathe' my way through.

Turning onto my side I was greeted by the sight of Edward sleeping soundly next to me, the sheets twisted around his sculpted chest as he lay on his back, his hair hanging slightly in front of his eyes as his chest moved rhythmically up and down with the deep breaths that left his mouth in soft, muted snores. He looked so peaceful….so beautiful…..so far away…..

My throat constricted as the images of my dream crept up on me again, my eyes unwillingly flittering down his chest to the scar the stab wound lad left on his stomach. It was fading, the angry red, puckered line now reduced to a pink shadow across his stomach, making it hard to imagine that that same faint line had almost killed him.

I averted my eyes, my hand hovering over his skin without making contact, his heat radiating out towards me thought his skin. I guess the only good thing about my nightmares was that I didn't scream. I'd never forgive myself if I woke him up every night when he should have been gearing up to kick some legal ass. _See? Zafrina was right after all. Every damn thundercloud had its silver lining. _

I snorted, the noise echoing through the quiet room startling me even though I was the one who produced it. Zafrina and I may have been making some progress where it counted, but we still had a lot of work to do.

A hell of a lot of work.

Not wanting to dwell too much on the fucked up mess my life had become, I looked sideways again, hoping at least a good portion of time had gone by now.

_Five Thirty. _

Only half an hour to go before we had to get up.

Half an hour of staring at the ceiling and looking for ways to pass the time without drawing unwanted attention to myself by freaking out or moving around too much. That was…

Peeking sideways through my lashes I noticed that, though most of Edward may have still been asleep, a certain part of him was most definitely up and ready to go. _It would be a shame, really not to take advantage of this opportunity. After all, would it not be a travesty to ignore a penis as beautiful as Edward's was when it was so clearly begging for my attention?_

Grinning to myself I slid my body down the mattress, loving the feeling of the silky smooth sheets against my naked body as I scooted down my hands carefully pulling the sheet with me to reveal Edward's morning wood in all its magnificent glory.

_Well, hello there. _

_Nice to meet you again. _

_I am Bella Swan, here to serve thee, oh magnificent appendage of my equally magnificent boyfriend. _

_I have every hope that you and I will get along._

I smiled, letting my eyes once again glide over Edward's seemingly perfect body while silently congratulating myself on the simple fact that he seemed to be silly enough to pick me. _Me and all of my issues._ I never would have thought this would happen; I never would have thought we'd end up together again after everything that happened between us. But now that we were…..there were times when I feared my heart was going to launch out of my chest with the weight of all the emotions confined into such a small organ. Was it even possible to love someone so much when you'd only been together for – what – four whole weeks?

This was crazy. But – man! – did I love it.

And man did I love _him_.

"Are you going to stare at my dick all day or what?" Edward's grainy voice spoke. "I was hoping to at least get a blowjob out of the fact that you left me exposed to hypo-fucking-thermia."

I gasped, clutching my chest. "Fuck, you scared me!"

He snorted. "Try waking up bloody naked in the freezing cold to find your girlfriend ogling your cock like it was a slab of meat and she a hungry lioness. Fuck, you look like you're half expecting it to jump up and do a little dance or something!"

"I happen to find your meat very worthy of being ogled, actually," I countered, earning myself a big eye roll and a deep sigh. "Besides….shouldn't you be over the moon with all of the staring? After all, it's bound to get you laid at one point or other."

Edward chuckled, running his hand lazily through his messy hair as he shot a sideways glance at the clock. "How long have you been awake?"

I shrugged, not really wanting to go into the whole nightmare and sleepless night thing right now. "Awhile."

Edward wasn't having that, though. "How long is awhile?"

I groaned. _Why, out of all the men in the world, did I have to end up with the one who didn't jump at the chance to get a ticket out of the whole touchy-feely kind of shit? Why did I end up with the man who'd rather have a nice, lengthy talk about my nightmares than get his dick sucked on? _

"Just a while," I snapped, trying to distract him by wrapping my hand around his cock, my fingers teasing his hard flesh just the way I knew he liked.

_But still, he was resolved to be difficult….._

"Bella…" he wheezed, his hands making a feeble attempt to push mine away.

I pouted. "What?"

It wasn't as if I didn't already know what he was going to say. Probably something along the lines of how I was using sex as a distraction and how that was never a good thing and all that….

Well, screw me (literally)

I happened to like sex (at least, I did if it was sex with Edward) and if it could also do something to take my mind off the fact that in a few hours I would be cruising down the I-5 on my way to my first day back at school after a month of chickening out and hiding away in Woodway…..then all the better.

I'd save the avoiding-issues-instead-of-meeting-them-head-on bullshit for my next session with Zafrina. Right now I just wanted to fuck myself – and Edward – into oblivion for a little while.

So with that thought in mind I put on my best Lolita-act, deepening my pout as I looked up at my boyfriend through my lashes, my hand stealthily sneaking out to stroke his hard length again when he wasn't paying attention. "Don't you want me to make you feel good?"

"Fuck, Bella!" he gasped, the tightening in his eyes and the way his head tilted slightly backwards as I stroked him, making the pit of my stomach clench with lust, love and anticipating. "You know I want you, baby…..I always want you…"

I narrowed my eyes, knowing there was going to be a 'but' somewhere down the line, no matter how hard I tried to distract him. "Just let me do this. Please?"

I could see it in his eyes; the hesitance, the willingness to give in but the little voice in the back of his head warning him not to…..

"You're making it very hard for me to be a good boyfriend," he groaned, his body yielding willingly to me as his mind gave up its final resistance.

"And I can see that you mean that in the most literal sense of the word," I grinned, letting my hair fall around me as I leaned in to kiss the head of his cock, my tongue swirling out to collect the liquid oozing from the slit.

"We _will_ talk about this," he warned, though his voice sounded strained and very unconvincing as I wrapped my lips around his shaft and took as much of him as I could take into my mouth.

"Hmmm," I hummed around his cock, giggling at the deep moan my actions evoked in my boyfriend. I loved knowing it was me who evoked such strong reactions in a man like him.

_He was mine. _

_I was his. _

_We…..we were us. _

"Bella, fuck!" Hid hand fisted in my hair, his long fingers weaving through my hair with an unexpected tenderness as the movements of his body became more erratic as I brought him closer to the edge. "I'm going to…"

And just like that he exploded, his lips uttering words that got lost in translation as he came in time with the alarm clock announcing it was seven o clock and time to get up with its usual, annoying bleeping torture.

"Perfect timing," I chuckled, winking at a very flustered and panting Edward as I released him from my mouth. "I guess this means I'd better go get ready for my first day back at school."

I tried not to laugh openly at the open-mouth look of disbelief Edward gave me as I hopped off the bed in a surprisingly graceful move and sashayed into the bathroom, making sure to use an amount of sway that felt ridiculous but hopefully made my ass – or lack thereof – look really hot.

I chuckled, congratulating myself on a job well done as I made it into the bathroom, checking the clothes I'd already laid out last night as I waited for the water to heat up.

This was it.

I was really going back today.

My feelings of anxiety started to creep back up on me now that I didn't have Edward around to distract me anymore, my hand trembling as I let it glide over the pile of clothes on the counter.

"You can do this, Bella," I muttered, following the advice Zafrina had given me on my most recent session. "It's just people….stupid people doing stupid regular stuff."

Yeah, who was I kidding? It was just people….lots of people who could have been affiliated with the Volturi in all sorts of fucked up ways without me ever finding out about it. That was….until they tried to kill me.

"Stop it," I hissed, suppressing a yelp as I stepped under the scalding hot rays of the humongous showerhead Edward had installed in his bathroom. It was like stepping under a waterfall; a hot, clean and perfectly leech-free waterfall.

But not even the water pouring down on me could distract me from the dreaded prospect that awaited me. That was….until Edward showed up.

"You _do not_ just walk away from me like that," he snarled, pushing my wet and unsuspecting body against the cool tiles as he barreled into the shower stall.

I gasped, my body breaking out in goose bumps in spite of the searing hot steam billowing around us. "I…..don't?" I challenged him, determined to play it cool.

"No," he growled, turning my body towards him and barely giving me time to think, let alone come up with a witty come-back, before he pressed his mouth to mine in a searing hot and aggressive kiss.

I blinked, needing a few minutes to regain my senses as he finally let me go, his naked hips grinding into mine as the water cascaded around us. "O-okay?" I finally managed to squeak.

"I'd think so," he grumbled. "And now, it's _my_ turn."

The intensity of his stare made every clenchable part of my bbody clench as his demanding hands explored my body, his hips pressing me up against the cool tiles of the shower, lining up the parts of us that were crying out to be connected.

"Who do you belong to?" he demanded, his eyes on fire with a myriad of emotions.

I panted, my lips hovering inches from his. "You."

He kissed me deeply and profoundly. "That's right, baby. Just like I belong to you…..heart body and fucking soul."

I moaned, my mind so far out of it that it didn't even register the pain as my head banged against the wall. "Oh God!"

"God ain't got nothing to do with what I'm going to do to you," he snarled, his body moving with the speed of a lion pouncing on a hapless prey as he pushed my body against the wall, hitching my right leg over his hip as he entered me with one deep, all-consuming stroke.

Argh!" I gasped as my hands found purpose in grabbing hold of his shoulders, my nails scratching his skin as he smothered my cry with his lips, his hips pistoning in and out of me in deep strokes. "Fuck,….yeah…..just like that."

"I love being inside you, baby," he groaned as his lips left mine only to place hot, open mouthed kisses along my neck and collar bone, his wet hair mixing with mine as he picked up his pace, my mind going incoherent as he hit that special spot inside me. "So hot….so wet….so…._mine_."

"Edwarrrrrrrrrd!" I shrieked, my pussy clenching around him as I came hard, my whole body shuddering and spasming with the force of my orgasm as I held on for dear life.

He followed soon after, grunting my name as he came inside of me, his head leaning on my shoulder as his hands rubbed deep loving circles into my thigh to counteract the roughness of his previous movements. "I love you…"

The look in his eyes made my heart leap out of my chest with love, my voice unsteady as I cradled his face in my hands, kissing him softly before I answered, "I love you too."

All too soon, the water ran cold, alerting us to the fact that not only were we now clean (well, sort of) and fully sated, we were also running late.

Which meant that, as much as we both resented it, our quality fooling-around time had come to an end, the playful mood diminishing to brooding looks as we finished our showers and got dressed and ready for the day ahead before joining hands as we walked downstairs for breakfast.

Ah. Breakfast.

I often wondered if Esme could sense what we had been up to in our room before we joined her, that morning's occurrence in the shower being by no means a one-time event. If she did, though, she never let on, always greeting us with that same kind, happy smile as she put plates of delicious food in front of us that seemed to appear like magic whenever we appeared at the breakfast table.

"Good morning!" she announced cheerfully, already handing Edward a steaming traveler's mug filled to the brim with strong black coffee. "Do you have time for breakfast? I 'm making pancakes….."

"Sorry, mom," Edward sighed, looking dejected at the prospect of missing out on his mom's homemade pancakes. "I have to be in court at ten. I don't think Judge O'Brien is going to be impressed when I tell him I got held up by breakfast. Not even if I tell him you makes the best pancakes this side of the Rockies."

I snickered. "Perhaps you could take some pancakes with you to bribe him?"

"Yeah, and I'll find my ass in jail for 'contempt' before I can even speak the words." Edward rolled his eyes dramatically, mumbling something under his breath as he filled his huge travel cup with hot, steaming coffee from the machine.

I shook my head at his early morning antics. _Edward never had been much of a morning person. Not that I was that much better, though….._

I didn't even realize Edward had moved until he was right in front of me. "Are you sure you'll be alright driving into school on your own?"

I rolled my eyes, though inwardly my heart took a little leap at his show of concern. "I'll be fine, Edward. I only have issues with _people_, not with cars."

He snorted, muttering something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like 'could have fooled me'.

"Oh, come on!" I rolled my eyes. "Are you seriously still going on about the way I apparently mistreated your car?"

I could hear Esme snickering in the background as Edward scowled, the subject of his precious Pimpmobile still being a sore one between the two of us.

"Screw you, Edward Cullen! And screw your fucking car!" I snarled, giving him the cold shoulder as I tucked into the stack of pancakes Esme put in front of me, making a real show out of drizzling them with an unholy amount of syrup and powder sugar before shoveling a huge bite into my mouth. "Hmmmm," I moaned, closing my eyes for dramatic effect. "So good."

Edward's lips were on mine before I had time to think – or swallow, for that matter – his hungry lips devouring mine in a kiss that wasn't exactly meant to be seen by the outside world, let alone the woman who'd given birth to him.

Not that I minded, though. For all I cared he could have his wicked way with me right there on the kitchen table with his mom watching and I'd be a very happy – if not extremely mortified – woman.

I was panting for breath by the time he withdrew his lips from mine, the panty-dropping smirk he send my way doing nothing to ameliorate my flustered state of mine as he leaned in, his voice low and dangerous as he whispered in my ear. "Now as to the screwing…I think I did very well at that earlier today."

I swallowed hard, my voice suddenly very dry as he continued while his long fingers moved up and down my ribcage. "But if you want…I could refreshen your mind and make you feel so much fucking better than any amount of pancakes ever could…."

I whimpered, hating myself for this weak display of feminine subjugation but wholly unable to stop it from exiting my mouth, along with a feeble, "O-okay?"

He chuckled, leaning in for another quick kiss. "Tonight."

I sealed my lips to his before he could take them away, my hands fisting in his hair to keep him close for just that little while longer until he drew away, though be it reluctantly. "Call me? Whenever it gets too much?"

I nodded, manfully plastering a smile onto my face as I pushed him towards the door. "Go kick some legal butt!"

He grinned winking at me as he grabbed his briefcase and walked out of the door, making me suddenly and acutely become aware of my surroundings again.

_Oh shit. _

"I'm sorry." My blush deepened as I realized that Esme'd just witnessed me basically molest her son at the breakfast table. "I shouldn't have….."

"Oh, no, Bella!" She laughed, the sound tingling through the room as she crossed the distance and put her hand on my shoulder in a loving gesture. "By all means…..keep doing what you're doing right now because I know that my son's never truly happy unless he's looking at you."

I blushed. "I love him, you know."

"I do." I was lost in a sea of love and Chanel no 5 as Esme embraced me in a warm, motherly hug, the next words muttered into my hair as she held on to me. "And he loves you too."

"I know." I relaxed, relishing in something I'd never really known before but what was offered now so freely and abundantly that I was almost getting used to it: a mother who acted like one.

Sure, my mom and I had always gotten along great, but she had never really been a mother to me. In fact, she'd made it very clear to me from the start that that was the last thing she wanted to be to me. She wanted to be my friend; my equal. But right now? I was beginning to see how much I'd missed having a _mom_; someone who took care of me instead of it being the other way around and who would always be there for me, no matter what happened.

My lips turned into a tight smile as, for a moment, I felt the absence of my own mom weigh heavily on my mind. It was stupid, really. I knew that having her around right now wouldn't have done me or her any good in her fragile state of mind and with a bunch of Volturi lunatics still running around, out for her blood, but that didn't mean I didn't miss her.

Because I did. _Every fucking day. _

"Hey." Esme's soft voice pulled me back into the present, her almond-shaped eyes laced with concern as she stared back at me. "Do me a favor and please enjoy this? You're young and in love…..this is supposed to be the best time of your life. Don't let it be ruined by things that are beyond your control."

I knew she was speaking the truth. I knew it….and that was what was so frustrating about this whole thing. I wanted to be normal; I wanted to be normal girl in love with a normal boy.

But I wasn't.

I was the girl who lived – I was like Harry friggin' Potter – the one who'd survived a failed attempt at initiation by the Volturi and lived to tell the tale in court. And that, combined with the stuff they'd done to me, meant that it would take a long time before I could even attempt trying to be normal.

"I'll try," I lied, because Esme already had enough to worry about without me adding my mess to it.

"Good," she smiled. "Now, before you go I've got to ask: are you sure about this? You know you don't have to go back if you don't…"

"I want this," I replied, realizing it was the truth only after the words had left my mouth.

Esme smiled. "Then you'd better get going."

She wrapped her shawl around her torso to protect her from the chilly November air as she walked me out, her small frame standing out against the backdrop of limestone and autumnal garden.

"What are your plans for today?" I asked as I threw my back onto the passenger seat. "Do you have anything special planned?"

She followed my gaze as it travelled in the direction of Carlisle's study, her lips pulling into a smile that gave me hope that maybe she would also get a happy ending out of this. "Not of _that_ kind."

In a way Carlisle's revelation a week ago had been the best thing that could ever happen to this family. In their anger, Edward and Esme had finally found the words to vocalize the feelings they'd kept bottled up for such an unhealthy amount of time and had found some sort of resolve the aftermath of it.

There was progress…._finally_, after a decade of stagnancy.

And amongst the ugly and rotten remains of the past, there had now blossomed a tiny spark of hope as Carlisle and Esme, along with their son, decided to fight for that thing that had gotten lost along the way: love.

Time was ticking away fast, though. Because as soon as a definite verdict had been passed, Carlisle would be carted off to an out of state prison facility, which would make the intense bout of both individual and couples therapy they'd decided on a whole lot harder.

Which was why I was rather surprised that they didn't have a session planned for that day. "So what's the plan?"

Esme smiled conspiratorially. "Don't tell the boys, but I've got a job interview today."

I gasped. "No shit! You do?"

"Hmm," Esme nodded. "It's for a small, California-based charity focused on helping abuse victims to make a new start in life. I've been keeping track of them for ages, even when it was just in the shape of donor to their cause, so when I heard they were looking into crossing borders into Oregon and Washington, I contacted them to ask them about their plans. Turns out they were just in the process of finalizing plans for a new shelter in Seattle…"

"Way to go, Esme!" I cried, amazed by the strength and resilience of the woman standing in front of me.

She shrugged. "What chance did I have, really? I would have grown old and grey waiting for the Seattle high and mighty let me back into their circle again, so if I wanted to keep myself from pulling the hair out of my head or burning the friggin' house down out of boredom, I knew I had to go out there and do it myself."

"Well, good luck!" I chuckled. _I fear me and my potty mouth may have had a bad influence on good old, straight laced Mrs. Cullen. Edward was so not going to believe me when I told him his mom had uttered the word 'friggin'. _

"I could say the same to you." Esme smiled, pulling me into another hug. "Go show those people what you're worth, darling. I know you can do it."

I nodded against her shoulder. "I won't let them win."

"Don't do it for them," Esme insisted. "Do it for yourself. You're the brightest, most talented young woman I've ever met, Bella, and I know you're going to do great things in your life. Don't let anything or anyone stand in your way."

"It won't." My voice was shaky with the tears I was fighting to keep from leaking out of my eyes, but in my mind I felt a power surge that lasted me all the way to Seattle, my hands drumming along to the sounds of _Interpol_ as I cruised down the I-5, feeling a whole lot calmer than I thought I would be.

Rose was waiting for me, her tall frame leaning against the side of her car as she sipped her coffee, her lips pulling into a wide grin as I pulled into the parking space next to her. "Well, look what the cat dragged in!"

"Don't," I warned her.

"Ooooooh!" Rose cooed, her eyes shining with mischief. "It seems that having her name printed all over the local headlines has turned little Miss Swan into a bit of a diva!"

I groaned. "Rose!"

She laughed out loud, playfully nudging my shoulder with hers as she finished her coffee and dumped the empty paper cup into the trash. "Just kidding, sweetie. You know I love you to bits and missed you like crazy!"

"You could have fooled me," I mumbled, nudging her back, though I had a hard time keeping my lips from forming a smile.

This was what I'd missed most of all: hanging out with my friends and attending class, just like I'd normally do.

Normal. _There was that word again. _

Rose merely rolled her eyes at me. "So you made it out here, huh?"

I arched my brow. "Did you have any doubts?"

She shrugged. "We may or may not have placed bets in the newsroom on whether or not you would make it through this day…." She tried to look apologetic but she wasn't kidding anyone. Rose had never excelled at acting and this was a prime example of it.

"You did, huh?" I really wanted to be pissed off right then. I mean….my friend had placed bets on me chickening out during my first day back at school?

What. The. Fuck?

But really, if it had been me in her shoes, would I have done anything else? I shrugged, "So what did you bet?"

"What do you think?" she scowled. "I bet on you making it through the whole day just fine….with my help, of course."

"You'd better!" I huffed. "But tell me: who thought I wasn't even going to make it out of my car? Because I know someone must have…"

She bit her lips. Trying to keep herself from smiling….which was all I needed to know.

"Emmett!" I scoffed. "Just wait until I get my hands on that miserable rat bastard of a boyfriend of yours. You may want him to deposit some of his sperm before I do….."

"Hey!" Rose cried. "Did I kick Edward in the balls when he called you a whore? Keep your fucking hands, feet and other appendages away from my man's junk or I'm going to walk away right now and leave you to freak out all on your own!"

I snorted, knowing she didn't mean a single word she'd just said. _And neither did I….._

"So how are things at _The Daily_?" I asked, wanting nothing more than to change the subject.

"Busy," she chuckled. "But what did you think?"

I laughed along with her. "Are the new reporters still every bit as fail as they were two weeks ago?" I remembered Rose calling me at eleven at night one night to complain about the new girls – yes: plural. She'd taken on two girls to replace me and another one to fill the gap left by Tanya's dismissal. That had been one thing that stroked my ego quite a bit – she'd taken on to replace me and the preposterous excuses for articles they'd delivered on their first attempts.

"I sacked them," Rose growled. "I figured that since I was doing most of their work for them anyway, I might as well keep the funds and use them to buy new computers and other shit for the newsroom."

I smiled. Rose was relentless in what she did. That was one of the reasons why Rose and not me had been picked to be the editor-in-chief.

"Did you think about my offer?" she wanted to know.

After the stuff with the Volturi had gone down, my work for _The Daily_ had been just about the last thing on my mind. News – and news about criminal acts in particular – had pretty much scared me shitless during the first days after I'd left the hospital and even now the thought of going back to work….engaging in the very thing that had made me end up drugged up to my eyeballs and destined to become a sexual plaything for some sick psycho son of a bitch made me break out in a cold sweat.

Nope. I'd concluded early on that my days as a raging news reporter had been over the minute those freaks in mask had appeared in front of me that Sunday night after we came back from Forks.

_Now, if only I could convince Rose of said fact_. My best friend, much more one of the kickass persona than I'd ever been, seemed to think that the best thing a gal could do after falling from a horse was getting right back into the saddle but – as true as that might have been for many other aspects of life – for me getting back into the saddle or even looking at the horse again – even if from a distance – was just about the last thing I should be doing right now.

_Not that I was quite ready to tell her that, though. _

"I don't know, Rose…." I sighed. "I want to come back to _The Daily_….believe me I do. I just think…..It may still be a little too soon?"

Rose nodded. "I can accept that, but will you do me a favor?"

I cocked my head, arching my brow as I waited for her to continue. "What?"

"Don't write off journalism just yet, Bella," she spoke, her voice soft and even a little sad. "You're a kickass reporter and an asset to any news desk in the country. I know you've been through a lot and I can understand – or at least try to – why that has put you off and stuff, but just…Give yourself some time to recover from all of the shit that happened to you before you make a final decision."

I shrugged. "I guess I can do that," I lied. Not that it was too far from the truth.

The thing was: I had no choice but to 'stay the course'. If there was anything my extensive talks with the student adviser's office had taught me it was that it was too late right now to change my major from journalism to – say – creative writing or anything else. Not that it was a complete impossibility or anything, but if I wanted to make big changed to my major, it would cost me at least another two years at college….which was something I had neither the money nor the time for. No matter how much honey Edward had been pouring into my ears about 'his money being mine' and 'my health – both physical and mental – being the most important things to him.' Nope, I'd just have to suck it up for a few more months and try to find a job that didn't freak me out so much. _Hey, maybe I could get lucky and land a job writing about dog shows or something…._

She narrowed her eyes as she studied me, her eyes flittering from my face to the almost empty parking lot we were in. "How are you feeling?"

"Right now?" I waited for her to nod. "I'm okay, I guess. But there's not that may people around here."

Something in either my answer or the way I moved must have pleased her because she nodded, offering me her arm. "So you wanna go in?"

I shrugged. "Well be late if we don't."

"Just yell if it gets too much for ya," Rose snickered as she tugged me forward, my grip on her arm tightening with every step we took.

I rolled my eyes. "Believe me, I will."

"This is going to be so much fun!" she snickered, my feet having trouble keeping up with her as she skipped –Alice style – towards the Communications Building. _Yes, Rosalie Hale skipped. I never thought I'd see the day. _

I didn't know it back then, but she'd been right.

As had Zafrina been.

Being back at school definitely wasn't as bad as I'd made it out to be. Sure, when I first entered the halls, lined with random clusters of students, teachers and other people milling about, my body froze up with fear, my veins pounding with adrenaline as I took cautious steps forward while my nails kept digging into Rose's skin, but after a few steps – and a few loud complaints from Rose about how I was cutting off circulation – I found myself starting to slowly calm down again.

Much to my own surprise.

By the time I made it to the lecture-hall where my 'Ethics of journalism' class was going to take place, I was actually able to breathe at a normal pace, my fingers slowly relaxing as I sunk into my seat in the back of the room.

"See?" Rose grinned craftily spreading all of our crap across the seats adjacent to ours. "That wasn't so bad!"

"I guess not," I answered as I released the breath I'd been holding for ages. I was a little surprised with how easy it had been to cross the halls. Sure, we were over twenty minutes early for class, which had meant that the halls were still pretty much deserted and I had been holding onto Rose's hand for dear life as I fought the panic and the urge to bolt that threatened to overtake me with every unexpected sound or movement, but the thing was: I'd held it under control.

I hadn't bolted.

I hadn't screamed.

And most of all: I hadn't panicked.

At least…..not visibly.

_I did it!_ The realization made my heart soar with pride, a wide smile on my lips as I grabbed my phone from my bag, wanting nothing more than to share my first milestone of the day with Edward.

I knew better than to call him. Knowing the time Edward would probably still be wrapped up in court and if he wasn't he was probably in no mood to talk to me right now, since it meant that something had gone wrong. _And, though he may have taken great steps in the right direction, encountering Edward in any way, shape or form when he was in a foul mood was still the worst idea ever. _

So I send him a quick text with a status update and an 'I love you' tagged on for good measure, my face splitting into a huge, goofy grin as I put my phone away again, making sure the sound was turned off.

"I sure as hell don't have to ask who you were texting to," Rose snickered next to me, the sound of her voice making me jump with surprise. "Tell me, how is lover boy doing this morning?"

I blushed. "Fine?"

"Just fine?" Rose jested.

"Yes?" Mercifully Professor Norrell chose that moment to walk into the lecture hall which had filled with my fellow classmates while Rose and I had been talking, thereby ending what was shaping out to be another one of Rose's third degree's on my love life.

"We're so not done,' Rose grumbled, leaning into me under the guise of extracting her laptop from her designer bag.

"Shhhh!" I shushed her, acting like my attention was already fixed on the Professor and the 'gripping' way she was rifling through her notes in preparation for her class.

I barely managed to keep myself from smiling as Rose sighed dramatically, her fingers tapping frantically against the keyboard as she logged on.

Deciding to take a leaf from her book, I grabbed my own, slightly more modest, paper notepad from my bag, unable to suppress a joyous gasp as I opened the first blank page to find a small note, written down in Edward's elegant script.

_My love,_

_I hope that by the time you read this note, you're in class and ready to go kick some journalist ass. I believe in you, my sweet Bella, and I know you can do this. I hope you will have as much faith in yourself as I have in you._

_Take care of my heart, I left it with you. Until tonight…_

_Yours,_

_Edward._

"That boy's got is bad," Rose cooed, as she read along over my shoulder. "As do you."

I smiled, my fingers touching the beautifully letters, crafted by the hand of my lover. "I do."

Rose nudged me, chuckling softly as she turned her attention to the front of the room where Professor Norrell was now gearing up to start her lecture, her eyes flittering over the many faces assembled as she took a sip from her water bottle.

It was only then that I noticed how strange she looked. "What happened to the professor?" I whispered as the pale and almost lifeless face of Victoria Norrell turned in my direction, her eyes lingering on me a little longer than the others as her lips pulled into a forced smile, her way of welcoming me back.

"No one knows," Rose muttered back. "She took a week off for 'personal reasons', though, back when you were still in hospital. I couldn't find out anything more but I suspect there must have been a death in her family. Remember a few months ago when she had to take a few days off to look after her sick mother?"

I nodded, judging from the look of her, it must have been a close one. Poor woman. She'd definitely not had an easy life so far.

But she got through it.

She'd conquered it all, which meant that so could I.

And so I listened to her lecture with a renewed resolve and an even greater respect for the woman standing in front of me, delivering a very gripping class about embedded journalism and its pros and cons in present day war journalism.

She never faltered – not even once – as she spoke about her own experiences and the risks embedded journalist ran not just with their lives but also with their unprejudiced view of the events they were reporting about.

"Would you say that it is a mistake for a journalist to go embedded?' I tensed as a scratchy, overly affected female voice pierced through the air.

_Tanya. _

What the hell was she doing there? Didn't she have some new, unsuspecting businessman to fuck? "Didn't they tell her to fuck off after that interview she gave to the _Enquirer_?" I whispered.

"No," Rose sneered under her breath, her voice drowning out the reply the Professor – unable to quite hide her distaste – gave. "I'd say it was a mistake that they ever let het gets past the gates after the fucked up stunt she pulled but then again, I'm not one of the university administrators."

"Have there been any repercussions?" I asked, a little surprised to find Tanya still attending class, huddled almost her usual group of bimbo Barbie taggers on. "I mean, the girl did just betray every fucking rule we learned in this place."

"I don't think so," Rose growled as Tanya, apparently satisfied with the answer she got, went back to filing her nails. "But I assume that was because 'daddy dearest' made quite a substantial donation to the university to keep his precious little spawn's antics hushed up."

"Figures!" I snarled, calming myself down by drawing little doodles that looked suspiciously like hearts all around the note Edward left me.

_Oh, great! I was turning into _that_ kind of girl!_

While I made a mental note to seek a cure for this unfortunate appearance of girly puppy love at my next session with Zafrina, Professor Norrell was wrapping up her lecture by answering a few final questions from the room, her fingers straightening out the pile of papers on her lectern as she listened intently.

"That wasn't so bad, was it?" Rose grinned as we both crammed our crap back into our bags, the tone of her voice telling me she was as proud of me as I was at myself.

"It wasn't," I admitted. "Kind of makes me wonder what the fuck I was so scared off all those weeks."

Rose snorted. "Well, you still have this afternoon's _Ethics_ class to go through. Do you want to wait until the after-class rush wars down?"

"No," I answered, feeling strangely emboldened by my recent victories. "I want to try…."

"Good, girl," she praised me, patting my head like I was a fucking dog. "Just make sure you grab my other arm his time, though. I think you might have broken something on our way in."

We made our way down to the front of the hall arm in arm, scowling back at Tanya as she scowled at us on our way out. "The nerve of that whore," Rose growled as we watched her retreat.

"Bella?" I looked up at Professor Norrell. "Do you have time to talk?"

"Of course." I wondered what she'd have to say to me. "I have an hour or so before my next class….."

"Good," she smiled, motioning at the front row seats. "Please, sit down."

Rose leaned towards me. "I'll wait out in the hall. Scream if you need my assistance."

I chuckled at her joke, waiting until her Amazonian frame disappeared behind the door before taking a seat next to the professor. "Is something wrong?"

"Don't worry, Bella." She smiled back warmly. "It's not that kind of conversation…..Thank God! I just wanted to hear how you've been doing…..how you're coping with what happened."

"I'm doing….okay," I answered. "I'm still not completely back to what I used to be…but I'm getting there."

"That's good to hear." Another smile. "I heard you were debating a change of major?"

"I did," I admitted, "and I still do. They told me, though, that it would mean I would have to spend at least another year in college, though, which isn't an option for me at the moment."

"So you still want to be a journalist?" she pressed.

I fumbled with the sleeve of my sweater. There was something in her eyes – something compelling – that make me feel a little ill at ease, though not so much so that I wanted to call Rose back in. "I guess."

"What does Miss Hale say about your change of heart?" she wanted to know next, her eyes following mine as they flittered to the door.

I shrugged. "She wants me to give it some time before I make my final decision."

'That's probably the best piece of advice someone could give you," the professor spoke, a genuine smile gracing her lips. "You're a very talented journalist, Bella. It would be a shame to see you lost to the trade because of this…..Though I'd be the first one to admit how hard it is to bounce back after such a traumatic event."

"How did you do it?" I asked. "I mean when….."

Her eyes darkened slightly, the air in the room shifting from calm to hostile for a hint of a moment before she retook command of herself, her smile almost making me doubt I'd seen the change in her in the first place. "Step by step," she finally replied, her voice and face completely controlled again. "It takes a lot of time and patience, but if this is really what you want to do in life….it's well worth it."

I nodded, shifting uncomfortably from foot to foot. "I'll keep that in mind."

"So," the professor went on. "I heard you moved to Woodway."

"Yeah," I said. "Edward's – that's my boyfriend – parents live there and seeing as I didn't want to go back to my old place after what happened and they have more than enough space to put me up….it seemed like the most logical step."

She cocked her head, studying me intently as she asked her next question. "Aren't you afraid so far away from the city?"

I chuckled. "I never grew up in one, so yes….I feel perfectly at home in leafy Woodway. Besides…..with the security system they have and the police officers camped out on their front lawn the place if probably as safe as I could get."

"Of course," she nodded, "I forgot that your father in law is going to testify in the Volturi case."

"That's right." I chuckled. "So they want to keep him alive long enough to do so."

The rest of our meeting went in about the same way, making me slowly relax around her as I realized that she'd just been concerned about me and wanted to know how I was doing. It felt great, actually, to catch up with her and tell her about the twists and turns my life had taken lately. She was probably one of the few people around who knew how I felt and how to battle the guilt that threatened to take hold of me every time I realized that my work – my digging into things I should never have stuck my nose into – had caused people to lose their life and other's lives to be ruined.

When I finally left the room, hooking my arm back into Rose's the minute I spotted her leaning against the wall on the opposite of the now almost deserted hallway, I felt even more determined than I had been walking into that room; my head held high as I walked back into the overcrowded quad, internally waging war with the demons that threatened to stir inside of me.

I could do this.

I could make this work.

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_**Who has a bad feeling about Professor Norrell? What might she be up to?**_

_**Follow me on twitter for updates on my writing and everything else. I'm missbaby25 over there. **_

_**Loved it? Hated it? Please let me know. As always….reviewers will receive a teaser for the next chapter. **_


	38. Chapter 38

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. I am in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise, I just use their creations to have my wicked way with them. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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_**This story wouldn't be what it is without my wonderful beta, **_**The Real Teacher**_**, holding my hand and correcting my many errors. Thank you so much!**_

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**- 37 -**

"Edward?" I looked up from the notes I was trying to decipher to find Liam standing in the doorway. "I just got a call…..the jury's out."

"That soon?" I swallowed hard, my heart pounding in my throat as I tried to look as outwardly calm and controlled as I could. "That's….good, right?"

Liam shrugged. "It may be."

Liam, in a huge vote of confidence, had allowed me to act first chair in a murder case. True, it may have been a pretty open-and-shut-case; the prosecution's evidence embarrassingly thin and the accused blatantly innocent of the charges laid at his door, but still…..To try this case in my own, with Liam being nothing more than a mentor and assistant…..it was a huge ego-boost.

As well as a nerve-wracking kind of affair.

I knew I was now solely responsible for a man's – a _client's_ – freedom; his future hanging on my ability to plead his case and discredit the prosecution. To say that it was a pretty daunting task for a beginner – a confident-to-the-point-of-arrogant beginner, but a beginner none the less – would be the understatement of the year. _Or the century….._

Liam didn't seem to be as fazed by all of it as I was, though, his good nature and confidence in my abilities getting me from pre-trial motions to trial hearings and finally to closing arguments when I had been this close to throwing up or bailing – as had been the case embarrassingly often throughout the proceedings.

I snapped back into the present, knowing that Liam was waiting for some sort of response. "It may be?"

He chuckled at my apparently very ill-concealed nerves. "It means that they were pretty decided on his innocence…or his guilt. There's only one way to find out which way they've swung, though."

I sighed. "I'll get my stuff ready."

I tried to remain as confident about the outcome as I could while I crammed my briefcase full with the things I thought I might need in court before joining Liam in front of the elevator, his pat on the back and subdued snicker letting me know I was still as lousy at hiding my nerves as I had been at the office.

"You'll be fine, son," Liam chuckled as we walked the short distance from the office to the King County Courthouse. "Just do me a favor, though?"

His eyes were alight with humor as he waited for me to look at him. "Don't let the judge or the jury see how messed up you are on the inside….and take it from someone who's been there: throwing up in front of them won't impress them either."

I snorted. "You threw up in court?"

"It was a good thing I could claim a lunch at a so-so sushi restaurant as the culprit," Liam grumbled, "or I think the judge would have held me in contempt for barfing all over his fancy marble courtroom floor."

"Wow!" I breathed, trying to imagine a young Liam throwing up all over the place at his first murder-trial.

"We've all been there," Liam nodded. "I think you have it in you to be a top-class lawyer, Cullen."

"Thanks…" I started, only to be interrupted by a compelling hand-gesture.

"You have it in you," he repeated, "but right now, it's up to you to show us what you're worth. Talent and dedication will get you far, but luck and perseverance will determine _how_ far. The best advice I can give you right now is to hang tight, not make any big mistakes and learn as much as you can as fast as possible. If you manage to do that while retaining the perfect balance between flying _under_ the radar when you should and right smack bang in the middle of it when necessary…..you'll be going on to do great things."

"Okay," I nodded, trying not to appear too daunted. "I guess I can do that." It was a lie, and a very blatant one at that. I mean….all Liam had described was something only some kind of superman could do and while I knew I had some talent in the courtroom, I also knew I was no superman.

Liam seemed to be infinitely amused by my reply as he patted me on the back. "That's my boy."

He grinned widely as he paused his steps in front of the imposing tall structure of the King County Courthouse, nudging his head at the grey, worn building as he breached the border between inside and out. "Now how about we go in there and kick ass?"

I knew that if Bella would have been there right then, she'd high-fived Liam and told me she'd been right about the proper kind of lingo for the courtroom all along.

_That's it. Chivalry really is dead. As is the proper use of the English language. _

We made our way through the motions silently, checking through security and waiting to be called into the court room before getting settled in at our space and waiting – once more – for the judge and jury to be called into the room.

The county prosecutor handling the case seemed nervous, his apparent uncertainty about the verdict the jury was going to bring back, invigorating my self-esteem. _Maybe I could win this….._

"Stay calm," Liam whispered, leaning into me as we took our seats. "I think we have this in the pocket but if we don't….it's not the end of the world."

I snorted. _No, maybe not the end of the world but it would put a good deal towards the end of my career in criminal law. _

Before Liam could say something else to put my mind at rest or in turmoil, the bailiffs brought in our client from the holding pen down in the bowels of the building, the man; a small time crook of a barely legal age who'd found himself unwittingly stumbling into the limelight when his buddies stitched him up for a crime he had nothing to do with. He was every bit as nervous as we were which unfortunately resulted in a barrage of nervous traits that did nothing to convince the jury of his innocence.

"Stop fidgeting," I hissed at him as we rose to attention as the judge and the jury were called in, "or they are going to think you're guilty after all the hard work we've put into convincing them otherwise."

That got the little punk to stop biting his nails, his eyes flittering across the room nervously before coming to rest on an elderly lady who scowled back at him.

I barely suppressed a grin as our client shrunk under the withering glare of his grandmother, the woman who'd enlisted our aid and who was very adamant that she would never – not _ever_ – let him out of her sights again if he did get out of this mess without jail time.

Having spoken with the woman myself on occasion, I had no doubt in her abilities to do so. That woman, when she was thoroughly pissed off, was scary enough to bring down even the toughest, most hardened criminal out there. I was sure keeping her grandson in check would be a walk in the park for her.

Next to the imposing elderly woman sat a younger woman who's unkempt appearance couldn't have been more different than that that of her former mother in law. Like her son, she seemed as jumpy as a cat on a hot tin roof, though in her case that was probably due to the effects of detox.

You didn't have to look long or hard to see how things had gone wrong for our guy. With a mother like that and a father who'd been killed in the first Gulf War, it would have been a matter of time before something like this happened.

They'd scooped him up right outside the walls of his school, playing right into his insecurities and frustrations about being 'the man' in a household that was quickly going down the crapper with promises of 'being cool and earning respect' as well as the prospect of raising money to substitute the growing sum going into his mother's crack habit.

It was sad, really, and the worst thing about it was that it could have so easily been me. Who knew what would have happened if mom and dad had preferred living in the city instead of moving to the Seattle commuter belt? Sure, my mom would never have been stupid enough to touch a crack pipe in her life, but the rest of the ingredients were all there. With my anger and small town naiveté I would have made a prime target for the same kind of punk who got our client on the wrong path.

I was shocked out of my thoughts by the judge's voice, solemn and professional as he called out. "Madam Foreperson, has the jury reached a verdict?"

The presiding juror cleared her throat before announcing what we already knew or we wouldn't be in this room in the first place. "We have your honor."

She went on only after a short pause to hand over the written verdict to the judge via a bailiff, my client's fidgeting now taking on almost preposterous proportions as he waited to find out whether or not he would be spending the remainder of his life in jail. "In the case of the people of Washington versus Archibald DeSoto, we the jury find the defendant …..not guilty."

I barely resisted the urge to jump up and fist pump – Jersey Shore-style – as I heard the verdict, adrenaline pulsing through my veins as I remained as outwardly composed as possible as the judge concluded the trial while I shook hands with a very relieved looking Archie DeSoto.

"My boy's all grown up and turned into a man!" Liam boomed, the minute the gavel came down dismissing trail, the loudness of his voice making me blush involuntarily. "Congratulations, Cullen. I knew you had it in you!"

"Thanks!" My pride was glowing so fiercely inside of me at that moment that I suspected one could have seen me from the moon, my hands quickly typing a short text message to Bella before joining Liam and our client as we wrapped up the final things before his release.

When we walked out of the courthouse a little while later, I was still high on adrenaline and my own success, a feeling that held strong as we made it back to the office where most of my colleagues offered their congratulations, most of them having been in my shoes before and knowing what an important milestone in my career I'd just passed.

"Congratulations, Edward." I tensed, turning towards the sound of a southern lilt to see Jasper standing in the door opening to his office.

Ever since he had enabled my dad in the disastrous deal he'd struck in his case, things had been tense between us. I couldn't understand how he could ever have let a client – let along a client who was his friend's father – strike a deal that was so disadvantageous that it had said client admitting to a crime he didn't commit.

Killer deal or not. That wasn't something you should do as a lawyer….or a friend.

Jasper had stood by his and Garrett's decision, though, claiming that their hands had pretty much been tied and that they didn't have any means to stop my dad from doing what he thought was right.

Which had made him revert back from 'friend' to 'asshole' in my book.

Things hadn't been easy between us since then, our situation in life complicating matters even more. With him working at the same office – being my superior even – and his wife and my girlfriend being best friends, we were often thrown into each other's company whether we liked it or not.

So right then, in that moment, there was no other option open for me than to accept his congratulations with what grace I could muster. "Thanks."

His eyes narrowed as he pushed his frame away from the doorway. "I'll see you in my office in ten minutes."

My hands balled into fists by my sides as I felt my familiar anger bubble up inside of me. _That asshole was using his position to corner me! Forget grace and professionalism! This was fucking on!_

Other's must have noticed the cool down in Jasper and mine professional partnership too. "What was all that about?" Liam leaned into me, his hand nursing a fresh cup of coffee.

"I don't know," I lied, not in the mood to explain matters to my boss right now. "It may have something to do with my dad's case."

"Right," he nodded. "Then you'd better get in there and find out what all the fuss is about."

I took his advice to heart, trying my best to remain as calm as I could as I crossed the threshold into his office. "What do you want?"

If Jasper felt affronted by my somewhat brusque demeanor he didn't let it on, though he also didn't find it a necessity to stop looking out of the window and turn his attention to me as he answered. "I thought you may want to know that Garrett has just reached a definitive plea bargain with the state prosecutors in your father´s case."

So this was it, then. I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose as I tried to keep my emotions at bay. "Any changes?"

He shrugged. "A few small ones."

I shook my head, not that he'd see me do it, as I rubbed my forehead against the onslaught of a killer headache. "I can't believe you're letting him do this."

"What other choice did we have, Edward!" This time he did turn around, his eyes blazing lividly at me from across the room. "You know your father better than I do! If we wouldn't have made this happen he would have sacked us and found new legal representation that would. At least now we could make sure he got the best deal possible out of this."

I shook my head. "I still think you could, have done more."

Jasper sighed dejectedly. "Look, I know it's hard for you to accept what your dad has done, especially with you being a lawyer and all that…..but you have to believe me when I say that we had no other options in this."

"You could have convinced him and gone to trial!" I yelled, my anger slowly simmering to a boil as I looked for something to break. Something to provide an outlet for my anger before worse things would end up being broken. "No: you _should_ have! With the Volturi behind bars and more and more disgusting facts about the Volturi being revealed every day we might have strung that jury or even have dad acquitted!"

"We might have." Jasper repeated my words calmly. "But you know as well as I do how strong a case the prosecution has against Carlisle. He may not have been the only one with a motive to kill Jane Roberts but he sure as hell was the only one who had the _opportunity_ to do so. CSI has been through that apartment with a fine tooth comb but they found nothing; no signs of forced entry, no CCTV records of anyone going into the apartment after your dad left and – most importantly – no traces of anyone having been in that apartment other than your father and Jane Roberts. _None_."

Of course I knew all of that. I knew that my dad's case was by no means open and shut – not like the one I'd just won. Still… "This is wrong."

"Of course it is!" Jasper groaned as he flopped his long limbs into the vehemently objecting desk chair. "I don't like this anymore than you do but it's the reality we sometimes face in our chosen profession. We serve our _clients_, not ourselves."

I sighed, taking a seat across from him at the desk my body suddenly feeling like it weighed a ton. I still didn't like this any more than I did walking into the office but I also knew that Jasper had a point with what he'd just told me. "Did dad sign anything yet?"

Jasper shook his head. "Not yet. We're trying to buy him some time so that he may be able to spend some time at home before having our plea agreement put into action."

He chuckled when he caught my look of incredulity. "The DA's office isn't putting that much of a rush behind it what with your dad cooped up at home on house arrest as it is. Plus, with jails being as overcrowded as they are at the moment, they may be hard pressed trying to find a space for him in a facility that's low security but still safe enough to protect him from any kind of attack."

"Still, we're talking about days here…..." I shook my head, thinking about how mom was going to take this. I think she knew she was going to lose dad's company again soon but I think she still hoped to have him around for Christmas, which was only a few weeks away. _She was going to get hurt all over again. _

He rolled his eyes. "I thought maybe getting some on a regular basis would get you to cheer the fuck up. Don't be such a Debbie Downer all the time."

"Debbie Downer?" I snorted. "What age do you live in, man?"

"It works on Hannah," he pouted, tapping his hands against the desk. "So are you busy"

I arched my brow. "When am I not?"

He rolled his eyes. "You know what I mean."

"Yeah," I sighed. "I'm pretty backed up at the moment. Liam keeps us all on our toes. I half suspect him to let us all work crazy overtime just to find out who'll be the last man standing."

"Sounds like a thing Liam would do, yeah," Jasper chuckled. "So how about we order some celebratory Pad Thai and stuff ourselves before we knuckle down again?"

I grinned. "Sounds like a plan."

It was several hours later that I finally made my way back home, my stomach filled with the best takeout Seattle had to offer and my mind swimming with case notes, witness statements and declaration sheets (those last mainly due to Garrett's crusade for more 'billable hours').

It had been good, though. Well, as far as working overtime ever could be called 'good'. My talk with Jasper had cleared the air in a way and, though it would be some time yet before I could forget the role he'd played in the outcome of my dad's case, I did see now how his hands had been tied by my dad's decision to plead guilty.

I snorted, shaking my head bitterly as I thought about it again. _My dad, trying to play a hero again, however misguided his attempt may have been. _

The house was bathing in light by the time I drove up, nodding my head at the two policemen occupying the stakeout booth next to the front gate. From the looks of it mom had been treating them to all kinds of stuff again, making sure they were 'well looked after'. No amount of telling her that they were only doing their job (and their job having them pitched _against_ my dad at that) and that they were human beings and not a bunch of Christmas geese could convince her otherwise.

Not that the cops minded, though. I bet they were drawing straws around the station over who got to take the stakeout job at the Cullens' instead of the other way around.

The foyer looked like Santa had thrown up all over the place, not a flat or erect surface uncovered in some kind of Christmas crap while my dear mother – believe it or not – was hard at work cramming over more glittery shit into every nook and cranny. There was nothing like Christmas that could make even the classiest and elegant home look like a top class whorehouse.

And mom….when she got into the Christmas spirit, she sure went all out.

"You're back!" Mom looked elated, her hands dropping the wreath she was trying to attach to the painting of her sour looking late great-grandfather as she rushed over to me and drew me into a big hug.

"What's this for?" I gasped.

"What? I think I have every right to be proud!" mom chuckled. "After all…. It's not every day your son wins his first murder case."

"True," I smiled, my high still not having subsided even hours after the verdict had come in.

She detached herself from me after a moment, her eyes shining with pride as she beamed up at me. "Now go up and celebrate with your girl."

I narrowed my eyes at her, the conspiratorial smile marring her otherwise so polished features making me feel a bit uneasy but, seeing as she wouldn't let anything loose about what awaited me in my room, I had no other option than to go upstairs and find out for myself.

The lights were low when I got to my room the place looking very normal and very empty as I set foot in it. "Bella?" I called out, wondering why mom had made such a thing out of sending me upstairs when Bella wasn't even here.

"In the bathroom!" her voice called out, the sound echoing against the tiles.

I loosened my tie and got rid of my jacket, throwing both onto the bed as I walked past in and on towards our adjoining bathroom, my fingers stopping their task of unbuttoning the first couple of buttons of my shirt as I took in the sight that awaited me.

"You've been busy," I breathed, Bella's answering smile illuminated by the soft light of what must have been hundreds of candles.

"I figured a nice hot bath would probably go over better than a card or flowers or something else," she shrugged.

I nodded, "Smart thinking."

"Sooo." She gave me a coy look as her voice trailed off, my dick hardening at the sight of her white teeth biting her full, plump lips. "How about we get you out of these clothes and into the water?"

"I like the way you think, Swan," I answered in a half-growl, my fingers already resuming the work they'd abandoned minutes ago when she slapped them away.

"You've done enough work for the day, Cullen," she chuckled, kissing the naked skin she unveiled as she pushed my crisp white Oxford away from my shoulders, her hands already working on my belt.

"God, I love you taking charge!" I groaned, submitting myself to my lady's eager and capable hands as she continued to strip me of my clothing, her mouth dipping in for sweet, loving and chase – far too chaste – kisses along the expanse of my body as she slowly got me naked.

"I poured you a glass of wine," she announced as she pushed me towards the bathtub and watched as I slowly disappeared into the hot and foaming, florally scented bathwater. "And I cued up your favorite albums on my iPod….."

"What?" I frowned. "You're not going to join me?"

"I-I thought you might enjoy it better without me taking up space and stuff." She shrugged, hiding her face behind her hair.

"That's crap and you know it." I chuckled at the look of surprise she gave me, pulling my hand out from beneath the suds and motioning her over to me. "Come on, beautiful. You know I won't fully enjoy this without you being here."

"Fine." She rolled her eyes as she huffed, her hands creating a very stimulation visual as she slowly undressed. "But this is about you, not me."

I rolled my eyes, chuckling as she got in behind me to make it clear that this wasn't about having sex. "But what if I – more than anything in the world – want to see you come undone under my hands?"

"Then you're shit out of luck, buddy," she growled, squeezing a royal amount of shampoo into the palms of her hands before starting to rub the stuff into my scalp.

I had to admit: it felt good.

Really good.

The rest of my bath passed in much the same way. She washed me – top to bottom – and we talked about everything that had happened to us – right now and in the distant past as I lay against her, my head resting right over her heart as her fingers played with my hair and danced over my skin. It was one of the most intimate moments in my life and that without it even getting _intimate_. At least, not in the Biblical way.

But as the water got colder, we both knew it wasn't made to last.

"I'll let you get dressed in peace," she chuckled, kissing the top of my head as she got out of the tub and grabbed her towel. "I promised your mom I'd watch _America's Next Top Model_ with her."

The mere notion of that was so foreign to me that I was lost for a witty comeback_. Which was kind of disconcerting since I kind of made my livelihood out of witty comebacks. _Instead I looked on mutely and dumbstruck as she quickly dried herself off and performed a backwards striptease as she redressed herself in those baggy, unappealing sweats she always wore around the house. _I guess that was my own fault, for lying about her looking hot in them. _

It was only after she left that I snapped out of whatever spell she'd been holding over me, quickly getting out of the cooling water and drying and redressing before joining her downstairs.

When I walking into the television room, mom and Bella were huddled together on the sofa, both of them giggling as they watched a bunch of much too skinny girls contort into all sorts of impossible angles to catch the attention of some kind of pervy photographer. _I guess one of the perks to my job was that it left virtually no time to watch TV, let alone trash TV. _

I bowed out as softly as I could, knowing my presence wasn't going to be of much service to them at the moment. It wasn't like Bella or mom would miss my presence in the room anyway….or even notice my absence for that matter.

I smiled, making my way into the kitchen for a light snack. Over the last couple of weeks those two had gotten thick as thieves, bonding over food, embarrassing stuff they had on me and a thousand and one other things they apparently had in common.

I loved it and not just because having my girlfriend and my mom like each other enough to seek each other's presence made my life a whole fucking lot easier, but also because what it did to Bella to finally have a mother figure in her life. _Especially at the time when she needed one more than any time before._

And so I tried not to be hurt or insulted when I got back from a hard day at the office to find the two of them huddled together or in the kitchen cooking up another five star meal (something the gym I frequented was very happy about since I put in overtime working off the pounds their cooking had made me gain) and acting more annoyed than pleased when I disrupted their tete-a-tete to announce my presence.

That was….if Bella wasn't napping when I came in.

I sighed, sadness washing over me as I thought about Bella and her sleeping problems. She may have been able to fool herself into thinking I didn't know anything about them, congratulating herself on the fact that she managed to shock herself awake every night without thrashing around our bed crying….. but really, she was the only one living in fantasy land.

She may not have cried or thrashed or done anything else to physically wake me up, but as the man who loved her more than life itself, I knew when her mind was in turmoil; I felt when she woke up, covered in the cold sweat of fear and stiff as a board.

_And even if I didn't, there still would have been the outward signs of her suffering….._

Everyone could see how little sleep she was getting; it was in her eyes, the purple bruises underneath them and in her lackluster attitude.

It _had_ to stop.

But I didn't know how.

I let out a powerless growl, my fingers clenching around the smooth granite worktop as I found an outlet for my rage while trying to find the voice of reason among the fire of irrationality aflame inside of me.

"Edward?" I dropped the fork I held in my hand, the silver object clanging against the counter as I turned to face my dad.

"I thought we might talk." His voice was cautious as he approached, his hand held out on front of him as if he were approaching a skittish horse. "That is to say….I _want_ to talk to you…."

I sighed, knowing just how overdue this conversation was. Bella may have been able to force my mom and dad back together again, up until now she hadn't been successful in talking me into confronting my dad, even though I knew I probably had to. "And I will listen."

"That's all I can ask for." Dad smiled, pulling a bottle of single malt out of the liquor cabinet and setting that as well as two glasses on the small kitchen table. "Can you get the ice?"

I did what he told me, feeling a little awkward as I sat down across from him at the table as I took a few sips from the glass he'd offered me. "This is the good stuff."

He shrugged. "I figured I might as well enjoy it while I can."

And just like that my scowl was back, my fingers clenching around the crystal as I glared at the smooth mahogany surface of the table.

Dad must have noticed it as well. "Look," he started, "I know I've done an awful lot over the years that warrants me begging you for forgiveness but this thing – my plea agreement – is one of the few things I am proud about."

I snorted sarcastically, my voice laced with bitterness as I shot out my reply. "You're admitting to a murder you didn't commit while the true killer walks….Yeah, I can see how you should be _so_ fucking proud of that!"

"Edward." I looked up to find him staring back at me calmly, though his eyes held that guilt and self-loathing that had become a regular feature in them of late. "I may never have pulled the trigger or stabbed the life out of another human being…..but I am responsible for far more deaths than the one I am going to admit to."

He shook his head, his hands playing with a dent in the table top. "I held my tongue – selfishly and naively – when my words could have saved innocent people from ending up getting hurt or killed or forced into doing something they didn't want to do…..just like me."

"But you did it to protect mom and me!" I cried, my frustration rising to new heights when I suddenly realized I was defending points I had so vehemently opposed a couple of weeks ago.

"Funny.' Dad laughed bitterly. "The two of you don't seem all that happy and safe to me right now, what with the police camping out in front of our house and you still recovering from life-saving surgery….and I haven't even started about Bella."

"You did what you thought was right." I sighed, the pieces only now clicking into place. "You did what you thought to be the only way….."

"I did," he answered solemnly, "and now I'm making it right in the only way I can see myself doing it."

He grabbed my hand, his eyes burning into me with a feverous intensity. "I _need_ to testify against the Volturi, Edward, and I need to do penance for the things I've caused and the things I've condoned. This plea agreement allows me to do both."

"You could have held out for a better agreement," I grumbled. "One where they would have dropped the murder charges and…."

"They never would have done that. You _know_ that."

"Or you could have gone to trial and still testified in the Volturi case," I tried.

"And what? End up in prison next to Aro, your uncle and the other surviving members of the Volutri?"

"You could have been acquitted."

He chuckled. "You know better than that. You saw the evidence they had stacked up against me. Garrett may be very good at what he does but he can't work miracles, not when the prosecution seems hell bent on getting me convicted for Jane's murder."

"Then hire a private investigator to check them out. God knows they may be on the Volturi member's list!" I snarled.

"They could be." Dad's callous attitude was driving me nuts. "But it would be damn near impossible to prove and by the time we'd ran through all of our options I would already be in jail…or six foot under."

I shook my head, downing what was left of my scotch. "You've really thought this through, haven't you?"

"What? Did you think I agreed to sign my freedom away on a whim?" Dad countered. "Or that Garrett and Jasper would even _let_ me do that?

When my silence lasted too long he went on, "We explored every possible avenue – thoroughly explored, I might add – before I made up my mind that this was the option with the best possible outcome. Do I like the fact that I will be spending a substantial portion of the rest of my life in jail? Of course not! But if push comes to shove I'd rather stay alive and keep the two of you safe than run the risk of having the entire Volturi top walk away and take their vengeance."

I knew that against his reasoning I'd never stand a chance but even though I was prepared to admit defeat, I didn't do so willingly. "I still don't like this."

He sighed. "I know, son."

"Does mom?"

"What do you think?" He shook his head, smiling at the stupidity of my question. "She'll still stand by me, though."

"She must be mad." The words were out of my mouth before I realized it.

Dad laughed. "Yeah, she has to be because I know I don't deserve the absolution she's given me – hell, I never even dared ask for it! – but for some reason, after everything I put her through, she still wants to be my wife and I know I'm going to do everything in my power to be a better husband to her than I have been these past thirty years."

I sighed, wanting to believe he was speaking the truth but finding myself not quite ready to do so. "And a better father?"

"We have a lot to catch up on, that's for sure," he answered as he refilled both our glasses. "I know I've made some mistakes in my life that aren't easy to forgive but I'd really like the chance to regain your trust. That is…if you'll let me."

I swirled the amber liquid around in my glass as I thought about his proposal; the prospect of having my dad – the man I'd looked up to as if he were superman for half my childhood – back filling me with emotions that had lain dormant for over a decade. "All right," I finally ceded as I chugged back the scotch in one huge sip, a spark of hope igniting inside my chest as I spoke the words, "but if we're going to do this, I'm going to need a whole lot more of these."

Dad grinned back at me, his hands already unscrewing the bottle as he answered me. "Amen."

It was hours later that both of us stumbled upstairs, drunk as a bunch of fucking skunks but a lot more comfortable in each other's presence than we had been during the past decade or so.

Dad's last words were still ringing in my ears as I stumbled into my bedroom – our bedroom.

"_I'm proud of you, Edward," he said, his clouded eyes staring back at me as he brought his glass to his mouth with shaky hands, "You've made a life for yourself, independently from us, the family name or anything else." _

"_Thanks dad," I muttered a little uncomfortably._

"_And now that you and Bella are back together again….." He smiled. "I can see the two of you are going to have a long and very happy life." _

"_I hope so." I smiled, visions of a future I never knew I wanted drifting into my mind. _

"_I hope the two of you will be as happy as your mother and I before…." He sighed, swirling the liquid in his glass. "Anyway…I want you to look after those two girls when…" _

_I cringed as he let his voice trail off. "I will, dad." _

_He snickered, the laden undertone of the conversation vanishing as he drowned his glass and slammed it back onto the counter, "So how about we go up there and show those girls who's boss, huh?" _

_It was then that I realized I must be drunk because even though I knew he's just announced his intention to have sex with my mom, I can't find it in myself to care, my mind solely fixed on the beautiful girl waiting for me upstairs. _

_So I followed my dad's example, not wanting to let good scotch go to waste, before sliding off my chair, grinning along with him. "Let's go!" _

"Have fun?" Bella yawned as my attempt at sliding into bed without waking her up had me landing right on top of her. _I could have found a worse surface to land on…._

"Hmmm, baby, you smell nice," I lisped, breathing in the fruity strawberry scent of her hair as my hands started to explore her hot little body. "You feel nice too…."

My attempts at romance met with a hip throw of Olympic proportions, a loud 'oomph' escaping my throat as I landed flat on my back next to her. "Stop it right there, mister!" she growled, her eyes shining back at me in the dim moonlight streaming in through the curtains.

"Why?" I pouted, my cock lamenting the loss of her hot, firm body beneath me.

"Why?" she snorted. "It's three in the fucking morning and we've both got busy days ahead of us. Besides….judging by the state of your breath right now, little Edward probably wouldn't have risen to the occasion long enough for either one of us to end up satisfied. So please excuse me while I go try and get some rest. Some of us have to start exams tomorrow."

"Ah, shit!" I groaned, surprising even myself when the mental slap-to-the-forehead I wanted to give myself turned into an actual one. "I forgot about that!"

"I figured as much," Bella grumbled making sure every part of me was tucked in against the cold before lying down beside me again. "Now go sleep it off before Liam makes you take a blood test tomorrow morning when you show up for work."

_Damn! Work. I'd forgotten about that too. _

"Also: you may not want to breathe in anyone's direction for the time being if you don't want to give away how you've been spending the night," Bella snickered, twisting my arms so that she could snuggle into my side.

"Love you," I breathed as I felt sleep slowly overtake me because it seemed like the right thing to say given the circumstances.

Bella's laughter and her soft voice were the last things I heard before I drifted under. "Love you too, you silly man."

When I woke up the next morning, I was in hell.

The first thought that entered my mind when Bella obnoxiously yanked me out of my sleep (though I guess I had that one coming after the stunt I pulled that night) by ripping open the curtains was that I was calling in sick.

Which, as Murphy's Law would have it, was impossible because I had back to back meetings that morning and other important stuff to attend to in the afternoon. _I guess I should have thought about that before knocking back half a bottle of Laphroaig. _

Bella didn't take pity on me, though. In fact, as she ripped the sheets away, exposing my half naked body to the harsh December cold, I got the distinct feeling that she was rather enjoying herself.

Which, again, was something I had coming.

I didn't want to give her the satisfaction of seeing me suffer, though, which meant that I just had to manfully putter my way through getting dressed and inhaling a bunch of my mom's pancakes – which, by the way, made for perfect hangover food – before submitting to the utter humiliation of having her drive me to work in that old wreck of hers.

"I still don't see why this is necessary," I grumbled, raising my voice to an earsplitting level just to get it to sound over the loud roar of her truck.

"Oh, please!" she huffed, letting the new engine stretch its legs on the highway. "Your blood alcohol level is probably high enough to have you fold that ridiculous pimpmobile of yours around the first tree you stumbled across on your way into town….that or get your ass pulled over and arrested on a DUI."

I growled, crossing my arms in front of my chest as I stared outside. _Though I had to admit that she had a point even if she did somehow find the need to diss on my car. _

After kissing Bella goodbye in front of my building, the morning seemed to crawl by at an excruciatingly slow pace filled with idiot clients, coworkers who appeared to be even greater idiots and a head that pounded to the point of almost splitting open.

I'd just about had it when, during my final meeting of the day, Jasper found it necessary to storm into the conference room and disrupt my meeting just as I finally got my client to see why cutting a deal with the DA's office might not be such a bad idea given the fact that he was caught fucking red handed and on tape while trying to rob a liquor store.

"What?" I fumed, looking up to see Jasper fidgeting in the doorway.

"Edward, you'd better follow me." There was something in his voice, a solemnity that immediately made me see that this was serious.

"Has something happened?" I asked, excusing myself to my client as I followed him, trying to alleviate the headache by pinching the bridge of my nose.

Liam and Garrett were already waiting for me on the other side of the door, their grave faces sending me into a blind state of panic. "What's wrong?" I demanded, my throat constricting as all sorts of possible scenario's started to play out in my mind.

"There's been and…._incident_….. at your house," Garrett started. "The police wouldn't tell us anything else about it but Edward…..I think you'd better go out there."

The rest of their words were drowned out as my body went completely numb. I could hear Garrett and Liam making arrangements for Jasper to drive me out to Woodway and at some point a coat was draped over my shoulders and hands started to pull me towards the elevators.

All I knew, in that moment and with a perfect clarity, was that something was wrong.

_Very wrong._

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	39. Chapter 39

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. I am in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise, I just use their creations to have my wicked way with them. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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_**This story wouldn't be what it is without my wonderful beta, **_**The Real Teacher**_**, holding my hand and correcting my many errors. Thank you so much!**_

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**- 38 -**

Six in the morning was never a good time. Especially not when you were brutally woken up by the sounds of your alarm clock after having been up half the freakin' night because your horny, inebriated boyfriend crashed on top of you in a drunken stupor. _And not the good kind of crashing…_

I scowled, my eyes narrowing as I turned to see said boyfriend deeply asleep next to me, his flawless, boyish face, relaxed in a deep sleep and his body moving rhythmically with the deep, steady breaths he took. But unlike so many other times, his perfection didn't make my heart swell with love and want. Right now, in my tired and grumpy early morning state, it made my blood sing with the determination to get even.

And wadda ya know? Nature had given me just the opportunity to do so.

After all, giving the nature of his nightly dash around the room, I hardly thought he would be eager to get up and go to work that morning and given the fact that he'd just slept right through his alarm, my assumption was probably right.

This was going to be so much fun.

In an uncharacteristically compassionate move I allowed Edward to stay asleep while I showered and got dressed, only ripping the curtains in our bedroom open when I walked back in.

"Nnnnnn," the sleeping pile of Edward groaned, his arm covering his eyes as he tried to resist the need to wake up.

It was a good thing I was so persistent. Really. Though I knew I wasn't going to get a 'thank you' out of him this morning.

"Edward?" I called out, gently tugging the edge of the pile of blankets my boyfriend had burrowed underneath. "You have to get up and go to work, baby."

"Go away!" he growled, his hands clawing around the edge of the sheets as if he knew what was going to be my next step.

Did I ever mention that Edward was probably as much of a morning person as I was?

It was a good thing, though, that my reflexes worked a lot better than his did at the moment.

I snickered at Edward's yelp as I ripped the sheets away, his hazy, hung over eyes glaring daggers at me as he scrambled to sit up. "That was so unnecessary," he growled, his hands making and even greater mess of the already chaotic mop up reddish hair.

"You think?" I snorted. "Then tell me: out of the two of us: who's currently running late for work?"

He gasped, his eyes shooting to the blinking red digits on the clock. "Oh shit!"

"That's what I thought!" I snickered, turning towards the door in the knowledge that my job there was done, though I couldn't resist the urge to add a few parting words at the frantic mess that was the man I loved before I walked out the door. "I'll leave you to it, then. You can thank me later. Oh, and take a shower while you're in the bathroom. You stink like a brewery!"

The kitchen was like an oasis of calm after that with the light pouring in from the huge windows as Esme hummed a tune I faintly remembered from my childhood while she added yet another perfectly round and golden pancake to the huge stack on the counter.

"Good morning!" I called out as I walked into the room. "You're awfully happy for someone up so early….."

My words halted as I noticed a brilliant red blush spreading on Esme's cheeks before she managed to successfully hide her face from me. _Well whadda ya know? The in-laws got lucky last night. _

I changed the subject, not wanting to embarrass Esme any more or – for that matter – think about her and Carlisle 'doing the nasty'. "What was that you were singing? It sounds familiar…."

"It's a traditional Christmas carol my mother used to sing at home when I was a child," Esme answered as she put a plate of food in front of me. "I think it's called _What Sweeter Music_, but I can't be sure. It's such a beautiful serene song and so fitting for this time of the year….."

"It's beautiful," I mused, taking a sip from my coffee as I drizzled the pancakes in a royal amount of maple syrup.

Esme nodded. "I think so too….but now that you mention Christmas, could you do me a favor?"

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes at ever-genteel Esme and her polite ways. "Of course I can!" Seeing as the woman was letting me live in her house free of charge and screw her son's brains out at will, there wasn't that much I could deny her.

"I called your mother the other day to invite her – and your father – over for Christmas at our house."

I looked up from my food in surprise. "You did?"

She nodded. "And they both agreed to come, though your mother hasn't informed me of her itinerary yet, so I was wondering…."

"I'll call her on my way into town," I quickly replied, wondering why mom hadn't called me herself. It wasn't like her to remain silent about a big piece of news like this. Not that she and I had spoken that much since she'd left Seattle, though.

I didn't know if it was the pull of her new life with Phil or the shame about having me and everybody else getting caught up in her rather seedy past but ever since she'd gone back, she'd started to drift further and further away from me citing her very busy new life as the reason why her phone calls only lasted a few minutes and were scarce in appearance.

I don't know….maybe she felt like she couldn't compete with Esme or anything.

I knew she was scared and embarrassed, but it still stung, especially now that I had Esme – and Sue too, who had been a very frequent caller over the last couple of weeks – showing me what it _could_ have been like.

"Thanks, dear," Esme beamed just as a loud crash sounded from the upstairs.

Edward.

"I do hope he hurries up and gets a move on," I grumbled, polishing off my breakfast as my eyes drifted towards the door. "I'd hate for Edward to miss his breakfast on a day like today….when he really needs a good meal to sober him up a bit."

Esme nodded, the shimmer in her eyes telling me she knew exactly what I was talking about. "How is my son doing?"

"He's probably wishing he'd never been born right now," I snickered, "or that the Scottish would never have invented whiskey."

"Ah! I see my son is in no better shape than my husband," Esme giggled, "the Cullen men were never known to hold their liquor."

I snorted. "So they do have a defect hidden somewhere underneath those flawless looks!"

Esme nodded furiously. "Did you know that back in the day when Carlisle first tried to woo me –or well, I guess you could hardly call it wooing considering what he did – he tried to get me drunk so that I would sleep with him?"

I gasped, though considering what he did in the 'after hours' I should hardly have been surprised. "He didn't!"

"He did!" Esme cried. "So imagine his surprise when, the next morning, he woke up alone and in his own bed with a note from me explaining how I had to drag his sorry behind all the way back to his dorm after he'd all but fallen asleep on me somewhere between his third and fourth shot of whiskey but that he would be welcome to give me a call if somewhere down the line he'd learned how to behave like a gentleman when wooing a lady." My future mother in law's laughter only deepened as a very frumpy and disgruntled Edward made an appearance, his hair still wet from the shower and his tie tied in a way that was almost an affront to the poor peace of silk that was trying so hard to look dignified.

_I guess the son was the living testament of the inabilities of his father. _

"What are the two of you laughing about?" he growled as his body flopped listlessly into a chair, his back safely turned towards the light. "And could you please not do that so loudly? My head fucking hurts!"

"My poor Baby!" Esme teased, her eyes shining with joy as she kissed his cheek while placing a stack of pancakes in front of him. "Here, eat something. It will make you feel better."

Edward muttered something under his breath that had something to do with 'evil women' but neither Esme nor I felt the need to ask him to elaborate on that. We were far too busy having fun.

"I'll go warm up the car, honey," I sang as Edward chewed down his last bites of breakfast, the food in his mouth muffling his protests at least until I was well clear of the kitchen.

By the time I'd brought the car around to the front door, Esme was already hard at work retying Edward's tie while he stood around; the stick that sometimes seemed to be wedged up his ass marring his beautiful features into something almost ugly as he impatiently waited for his mom to finish.

It looked almost cute.

"Good luck, Bella," she called out at me as Edward stalked over to my car, looking at it as if he were asked to ride into work on the back of some kind of nasty, slimy snail or something.

"I'll see you tonight!"

I waved at her, loving the way Esme's body seemed to glow from the inside when she said 'tonight' instead of 'when you get back'. Getting back to work and – more importantly – getting out of the house for longer than it took to get some shopping done had done her a world of good. It was like she had a new purpose in life and with it found the key to handling the rest of the stuff that was happening in her life.

And apparently she kicked ass at what she did.

She'd only been working there for a week or so but already she'd made a very lasting impression at the organization it seemed when I'd visited her there a few days ago on my way back from work. Right now the shelter the organization was setting up in downtown Seattle was only in its beginning stages with builders stripping the run down townhouse to its bare state before any actual construction could take place but already she had everyone at her beck and call. _Man, that woman kicked ass in an awe-inspiring and rather scary way. Even Rose could learn a lesson or two from her!_

It gave me hope that maybe things would be alright for Esme in the end. Maybe she could salvage what was left of her old life and build a new one, even better than the one she used to have.

If only she could get away from here, though. She'd be so much better off making a completely fresh start in a new city and a new state. But with her husband confined to prisons in Washington (until the Volturi trial was over) and Oregon (once his assistance was no longer needed) there was little chance of that ever happening.

"I still don't see why this is necessary," Edward grumbled beside me as we pulled out of the driveway, his childish post-boozenight ramblings pulling me out of my thoughts about the future.

I rolled my eyes at him. "Oh, please! Your blood alcohol level is probably high enough to have you fold that ridiculous pimpmobile of yours around the first tree you stumbled across on your way into town….that or get your ass pulled over and arrested on a DUI."

I chuckled as he grumbled something under his breath and turned his attention to the fascinating sight the side of the road provided him. _Sometimes the boy seriously made me wonder if he would ever grow up. _

"If you go on like this you'd be much better off having a babysitter instead of a girlfriend!" I snorted, keeping my eyes on the road now that we were getting closer to Seattle and its ever-congested roads. "Tell me, is this how you act at work or do you actually save all of your childish antics especially for me?"

"I'm not in the mood for this right now," he hissed, crossing his arms in front of his chest like a petulant child. _Which only served to prove my point._

"Too bad, because I'm rather enjoying myself right now," I went on. "I should have known that drinking would turn you into an awful grumpy mess, though. After all, what did you call me again the last time we met like this? Oh yeah….a treasonous little daughter of a whore….or something like it."

Edward had the good grace to look embarrassed and – thank God – kept his grumblings to himself the rest of the way as I listened to the mellow tones of Lamb's_ Gabriel _(I thought I'd give Edward a break and not torture him – and myself – with my usual, more upbeat, Indie rock playlist) until I pulled up in front of his work.

"Do you want me to pick you up later today?" I asked, as he leaned in for a quick kiss that soon turned into way more than what was appropriate for the very public setting we were in.

"Nah," he answered before diving in for another kiss. "I'll take a cab. Good luck on your exam."

"Thanks," I blushed, seeing the state Edward was in. "Oh and you may want to remove that lip gloss before you go in, or your colleagues will get the wrong idea."

He chuckled, quickly wiping his lips as he peeked into one of the side mirrors. "Right. Can't go meeting my clients wearing that fruity gunk you put on your lips." He winked at me as he turned to walk inside, his unruly red hair setting him apart from all of the boring suit-clad people milling into the building at the same time he did.

_I loved that man_. I shook my head, laughing at my own mushy thoughts as I pulled away from the curb my hands quickly rifling through my contact list and pressing the 'dial' number before I reengaged in traffic.

"Baby!" mom's voice cracked into the small confined space of my car like a lightning flash.

"Hey mom!" I chuckled. 'How are you doing?"

"I'm doing great!" There was a lot of apprehension in her voice even though she tried to mask it behind her usual exuberance. "Though I have to say that looking after Phil's little boy while he's out is giving me a headache. I sometimes wonder how I managed to cope with all of this when you were young….."

"You had dad, remember?" I smiled. "Besides….You kind of lucked out with me. I never did anything rash or even remotely risky."

"Oh, really?" mom jested. "I do remember Michael Newton Sr. coming by the house one day, a long time ago, telling me you and Edward had tried to lock his son inside a water barrel and were threatening to roll him down some kind of slope…."

"That was a onetime thing!" I pouted, knowing I was busted. "Besides…..Newton had to coming. He tried to grab my ass in PE."

"The poor boy was scared half to death!" mom droned on. "I doubt he deserved that, even if I really hate ass-grabbers as much as you do."

"Yeah, well, I didn't call you to get a slap on the wrist for something I did fifteen fucking years ago," I grumbled, suddenly needing a reminder of why I saw the need to call my mother again. _Ah, yes. Esme. _"Esme wanted to know if you and Phil have made plans for your trip to Seattle, which by the way kind of surprised me since you never told me about it."

The silence on the other end of the line lasted long enough to clue me in on my mom's discomfort. "I know I should have, Bella," she finally spoke, a deep sigh lacing her words. "I know my shortcomings as a mother and….as a person but lately I've been even more remiss than I used to be."

"Mom," I tried.

"No, please let me speak," she went on. "Seeing you – my darling little girl – in hospital for something I did…I know that most mothers would have wanted to stay close and never let their child out of their sight again but I…..I wanted to get as far away from you as I could because it was _me_ who put you there. Besides, I knew being back in Seattle after everything that happened there when I was young would be harder in the end than staying away from it could ever be….and the people from the FBI told me that it would be safer to stay put in Florida and await the trial over there instead of staying back in Seattle with all those Volturi still running around….and you had Edward and Esme so I knew you would be loved and looked after so much better than I ever could have."

"But you're my mom!" I cried. "No one could ever replace what we have together….And I missed you."

"I missed you too, honey," mom's sad voice answered quickly. "So how about we use Christmas to catch up on what we missed and see what we can do to prevent this from happening again?"

"Good plan," I nodded. "So did you make any plans or should I….."

"I made plans," mom answered proudly. "Well….to be honest, Phil did. He's so much better at making plans than I am….. We'll be flying in on the 23rd. I'll get him to e-mail you our itinerary when he gets back. By the way….don't you have exams today? I thought you mentioned something about that in your e-mail from the other day and…."

"I do," I nodded, a little surprised my mom – the same woman who had trouble remembering where she lived at times – had remembered. "In fact, I'm pulling up in front of the university as we speak."

"I'll let you go then," she chuckled. "Good luck, Bella, I'll be thinking about you."

"Thanks mom."

"And please know how proud I am of you," she added. "Not just for your academic achievements but also of the person you've grown into. You're going to make it through this. I know you will."

She'd hung up before I was had enough command over my shaky voice again to sniffle out a reply but the effect of her words lingered long after I'd parked my car and joined Rose. They made me feel strange empowered and glowy on the inside. Which was just the kind of thing a person needed when she was about to sit down to a grueling two hour written test.

"Are you as excited as I am?" Rose snickered, handing me a cup of coffee as we met up in front of the Communications Building.

I rolled my eyes. "I can't wait for this week to be over."

"Amen! At least it brings us one huge step closer to graduation," Rose nodded. "So who was that on the phone right now? Lover boy?"

"My mom." I chuckled at her startled expression. "I know….but we had a good talk."

"That's great, Bella!" She nudged my elbow as we crossed the crowded hallway. "So are you still on for lunch with Angela and me after we're done?"

I nodded, smiling as a girl somewhere to my side got tackled by a guy who I assumed to be her boyfriend from the way they ended up sucking face after she'd recovered from her shock. Only a few weeks ago that would have completely made me freak out and run out of there faster than a speeding bullet. Right now, I just thought they were cute.

As I should.

Zafrina had been able to work wonders, building up my confidence and strength but it had been Victoria who really made me see how much I wanted this and how there were a lot of other journalist – budding and experienced – who'd gone through stuff like what I'd gone through and made it work.

Who said I couldn't do that as well?

And so it was with a confidence I couldn't have dreamed of possessing a couple of weeks ago, that I set to work on my exam, finding the questions not as hard as I'd imagined they'd be but not exactly easy either. I still felt pretty good about it as I finally walked away from the room. I'd been able to answer every question with only a handful of answers I wasn't too sure about. I was pretty sure this was going to go okay. _I guess I had the Cullens to thank for that!_

With Edward working overtime trying to establish himself as a lawyer, I'd spent a lot of nights on my own lately. There were always Esme and Carlisle to talk to when I was really hard up for conversation or needed help, but the two of them were hard at work trying to save their marriage and I figured they could use every single moment alone they could get. _Besides….being around Carlisle still made me feel kind of uncomfortable. _

"Isabella?" I jumped at the sound of my name only to find Victoria leaning against the wall outside the lecture hall.

"Vi….erm….Professor Norrell," I stammered, holding my hand over my pounding heart.

She looked at me, a bemused smile on her lips as her fiery blue eyes studied me. "How did it go?"

I shrugged, not really knowing what to say. "Okay, I guess."

"Does that mean I should have made my questions a lot harder to answer or that you memorized just about everything I taught you?"

"A combination of both, I guess?" I still felt a little bit uncomfortable, though I wasn't sure why. Maybe it was the fact that we were in a very public setting when most of the times our conversations were held in private….maybe it was the way she was looking at me. Something just felt…off.

"I'll just have to wait and see, I guess," she answered, her smile meant to put me back at ease though it didn't succeed entirely. "Did you hand in the other half of your final grade yet?"

I nodded. "I dropped it in your pigeon hole yesterday before I went home. You _should_ have it."

"I'll take a look," she nodded. "How are things going at home? How are you coping with the holidays coming up?"

"Alright, I guess," I shrugged. "My mother is flying in and I think Edward's mother is working overtime to make this one special since it's either going to be the last Christmas Carlisle gets to spend at home or the first one without him…."

"I can imagine," Victoria nodded. "It must be so hard for her, especially the _not knowing_ part…" As always when the two parties involved try their hardest to keep a certain piece of news under wraps, news about Carlisle's deal with the DA's office had reached the news even before the ink on the plea agreement was dry, stirring quite a public debate in its wake. "Have they set a date for his imprisonment yet?"

"Not yet." I sighed, knowing how hard it would be for Esme and Edward to see their husband and father go behind bars. "But it can't be long now. Edward told me they were just getting ready to sign the final paperwork and have the plea agreement put before a judge…."

"Bella?" I looked up to see Rose coming out of the room, her cheeks flushed with the hard work she'd been putting into her test and a mobile phone attached to her ear. "Are you ready to join us for lunch? Or should I tell Angela to hold off on ordering just yet?"

I looked at the professor who merely nodded in Rose's direction. "Enjoy lunch, Isabella," she said. "I'll go see if I can find your essay in my box. We'll talk again soon."

I watched her go, still unable to put my finger on the how and why of the strange feeling I'd just had around her.

"Are you okay?" Rose asked, probably noticing how I was a little off.

I shrugged whatever had crawled up on me off, not wanting to take it with me on what was supposed to be a quiet and relaxed lunch with my two best friends. "I'm fine."

Lunch after that was great. In the past, whenever the three of us found time in our schedule to get together, it had always been a hoot but in the light of the stuff that had happened lately, we'd all three seen the extra need to live each day to the fullest, which made for very interesting conversations around the table.

Angela regaled us in the preparations for her wedding, which had been in full swing ever since her dad had accidentally found out that Bernice was pretty much non-existent and that their pure, virginal daughter had been cohabitating with the man she now intended to marry for years now. _Apparently, the reverend wasn't very impressed with my cockblocking presence in their house._

Rose, on her side, had stories to share about interviews she'd had with a few pretty impressing Seattle-based newspapers and the general stuff that happened around the newsroom (it seemed that Grace was enjoying her new position as the assistant-queen Bee of _The Daily_ so much that everyone seemed to be avoiding the newsroom whenever they knew she was there) and Emmett and the way the kids in his class completely owned him (though he was still in denial).

By the time I finally made it back home, I was completely relaxed and well-prepared to tackle yet another night of studying. _Oh, joy._

I said hello to Carlisle on my way in, my mind still wondering how a man could spend as much time in his study as Edward's dad seemed to be doing. _There's only so much a person can do in there….._

Of course right now he had his work cut out trying to put his affairs in order before going to prison. With the estate and the property in Forks and – I gathered – a whole lot more deeds to his name, he had his work cut out trying to wrap everything up before the fast approaching deadline and with the police going in and out of the house to interview him and his attorneys being here even more often, he didn't have that much time to spare.

The house seemed to be pretty deserted apart from the two of us right now, though, which was good in a way because it afforded me lots of quiet time to study without having to wonder what was going on downstairs.

_I know. Professional deformation much? But hey! You can take the girl out of the newsroom, but you can never take the reporter out of the girl! _

I shook my head at my own crazy thoughts, fixing myself a plate of food to snack on before heading upstairs and pulling on some comfy clothes before knuckling down to my next test.

I was just starting to get into a good flow when the sound of the phone ringing broke my concentration.

"Dammit!" I cursed, rubbing my temples as I tried to regain my focus.

Only to be interrupted yet again.

"Bella?" Carlisle's voice sounded from downstairs.

I sighed, trying to finish reading the sentence I was on before I made my way onto the lading. "What is it?"

"The surveillance team just called. You have a visitor. A Professor Norrell?"

I frowned, already taking a few steps down the huge staircase. "What? Are you sure?" I could think of no reason why a college professor would drive all the way to Woodway to visit a student when she lived just half a mile up the road from the Communications Building where she worked.

"That's who they said it was." Carlisle betrayed his unease by dragging his hand through his hair. _Just like his son always did_. "Anyway….I think I'll be going out for a walk in the back garden to give the two of you some space to talk…."

"You don't have to do that!" I felt bad, chasing a man out of his own home. "I'm sure this place is big enough to offer both of us privacy at the same time."

"Relax Bella," Carlisle chuckled, another reminder of where Edward got his dashing good looks from. "I was meaning to catch a breath of fresh air before the call came in. I'll be in the garden if you need me."

I nodded, taking the phone from his hands. "Thanks Carlisle."

After confirming to the cops at the gate that Professor Norrell was indeed my college professor, they let her through, giving me just enough time to get some coffee brewing before the doorbell rang all the while still wondering what had brought her here.

"Nice place you've got here!" Professor Norrell said as she walked past me into the house, her eyes huge as they took in the splendor of the Cullen mansion. "If I were you, I'd never leave."

"It's okay," I shrugged, "but I prefer a place that's a bit….smaller."

"Carlisle isn't here?" Her eyes narrowed as she peered past me into the now empty study.

"N-no," I stammered, instinctively taking a small step back. The way she was behaving was rather strange….unlike her normal self…and it strengthened the feeling I'd had around her earlier today that something was off. "May I ask what brought you here?"

I tied to phrase my words carefully so as not to make her feel unwelcome or offended. "I mean….I'm not an expert but I think it's pretty rare for a professor to visit a student at home…..Was something wrong with my essay? Did you get it?"

"Oh, I got it alright," she sang, her long, slender fingers gliding along the smooth surface of the banister as she slowly advanced to where I was standing in the middle of the room. I'd never noticed how…._feline_ her movements were.

Like a cat.

And a very dangerous one at that.

"T-then why are you here?" I pressed, not really caring if I was coming off as rude with the way she was looking at me at that moment. I looked behind me, hoping Carlisle would still be somewhere in view but only seeing barren trees covered in a white, wintery sheen through the window in the back door.

"I'm here…." My eyes snapped back to hers as she narrowed her eyes as if trying to find the right words. "I'm here to deal with some unfinished business."

I crossed my arms in front of my chest, both to appear confident and to brace against the overpowering rush of panic that started to take hold of me. "And what might that be? I thought I handed everything in…..I thought you said….."

"Oh, you're a very perfect little girl," she sneered, her lips pulling into a sadistic smile. "So perfect, in fact, that you managed to bring down one of the greatest men that ever lived and an organization that weathered much greater storms than you."

_Run, Bella! Run!_

I clasped my throat, trying to get it to somehow suck in enough air to sustain me as I backed into the wall, my body refusing to follow the orders my mind was screaming at it. "W-what? B-but you…"

She chuckled, the sound of her laughter making the hairs on my arms stand on end. "Did you never wonder how it was that Aro always remained one step ahead of you?"

She gave me a small pause to consider her words before she went on. "You thought it was _Marcus_ who fed them information, didn't you?"

_Run Bella…..come on…..run, scream….save yourself!_

I nodded mutely, my fear-stricken body choosing the way of the least resistance. "He did, I suppose," she continued, 'but only for as far as the boy was concerned. It was me who kept him abreast of all those little discoveries you made along the way."

"But you got me to step away from the case!" I finally managed to regain some of my lost courage. "You told me not to get too involved…."

"You were getting too close," she nodded. "You'd never hear me say that you aren't a very talented journalist. Such a shame, really…."

I swallowed hard, not really wanting to ask what that was all about. "So you….you're one of…_them_?"

"I certainly am," she answered proudly. "You never guessed, did you?"

I never had. I'd trusted her, even when I should have seen the signs.

I trusted her….looked up to her as a mentor and role model…

I trusted her.

"And now you're here because…" I let my voice trail off, unable to finish my sentence as my mind was running a mile a minute trying to remember where the nearest panic button was. _Why oh why didn't they have one installed in the fucking hallway? _My body instinctively moved towards the kitchen, knowing I had the best chance of reaching the one in there.

"Don't even think about it, you little bitch!" Victoria sounded nothing like she used to as she advanced, her eyes shooting hot rays of rage at me.

I gasped as I saw that her hand was now firmly grasping a sleek, frightening gun. "You got away that one time – sheer luck must have been on your side that day – but I'll tell you one thing, missy: your luck's just run out."

"Why me?" I cried helplessly, my legs trembling so hard they were almost giving out on me. "I've never done anything wrong to you!"

"You exist and that's enough," she spat, the venom in her eyes making me push back against the wood paneling behind me, hoping it would somehow miraculously open up and provide me with a means to escape this nightmare.

"You're pathetic," she spat, her lips curling into a smile as her scary eyes studied my every move. "I don't know how he could ever have underestimated you like that…..You and that….that _boy_ of yours." She spat the word out as if the very thought of Edward disgusted her.

"He….." my mind rambled on. "Who? What….."

"My man," she snapped back. "He was meant to protect the Volturi from the likes of you….the _scum_ like you…but you killed him…you and the boy."

But…you…" I gasped, trying to come up with words when all I wanted to do was scream. "You told me….."

"Yes I did, didn't I?" she snickered. "But what I never told you was that shortly after I came back from Iraq, I fell in love with one of his best friends."

Her eyes took on a dreamy look that almost made me gag. "James was….something else. He was sent home with me after taking five bullets trying to save his buddies' life. At first we hated each other, blaming the other for Gary's death…but somewhere along the ling our feelings changed."

She smiled, genuinely this time, as her hand caressed the handle of the gun as if it were her lover instead of an instrument of death. "He was the one who brought me into the Volturi, having been a member since his college days himself. He opened so many doors for me….." Her eyes turned to stone again, the coldness shooting shivers down my body as she turned her attention back to me. "Until you came along. You and that disgusting boyfriend of yours."

Another one of her vile cackles pierced the air as she took in my look of confusion. "From the moment James and I met it was as if my life was being forwarded by an invisible hand. Sure, we did the long distance thing for a while, with me flying in from my job in New York whenever I could but it wasn't the ideal situation for us. Imagine my surprise when within a year, the life I so longed for came within my grasp: the job I'd always wanted, the man I dreamed of and a house I never thought I could afford. And I never had to do a damned thing for it! It was only after I was initiated that it all started making sense to me…..Of course all of it came at a price."

She shook her head, taking a few breaths before she went on. "Aro made it very clear to me from the start that, for as long as you were a student at U-Dub, I was to play the part of the grieving widow and never mention anything that could blemish my impeccable reputation. You see…..James had a rather nasty rap sheet when it came to violence – it turned out he wasn't coping to life as a civilian as well as he should – and Aro didn't want to risk my fall from sainthood. No, I was to become the kind of person all of my students would look up to and trust….the kind of person _you_ would trust enough to let me influence your decisions."

"You…." My head was spinning with everything she'd just told me, my mind demanding answers while my body just wanted a way out of this.

"It was all going perfectly, until Aro made the mistake of thinking he had everything under control….." She huffed, her hand quivering as her shoulders hunched forward, the forlorn look on her face bringing back the memory of what she looked like on my first day back after…

"He died, didn't he?" I blurted out as suddenly more pieces of the puzzle started to click into place. "James. He was the one who almost killed Edward, wasn't he? The one the SWAT-team shot when they stormed the mansion?"

"So now do you see why you have to die?" her cold voice asked. "I didn't live apart from my lover – denying he even existed – for all those long years only to have him end up dead and the job he died for left unfinished. I'm here to finish what he started."

"But why me?" I asked, not that I wanted it any other way but if I was to die today, I wanted to at least know the truth.

"Because your death will hurt _him_ more than his ever could," she chuckled. "Besides….it seems fair, don't you think? A mate for a mate?"

"You're crazy," I panted.

"Maybe," she snickered, "but since I'm the one holding the gun, I don't think that's the smartest thing to say."

I couldn't fault her logic, the only thing I could do at that moment was scowl at her and hope – _pray_ – for another miracle.

"Now get on your knees and prepare to die," she ordered, motioning with the gun where she wanted me. "I'm not so cruel that I'm going to drag this out any longer than it needs to take. Just a quick blow to the head and that will be the end of it."

"I'm not going to thank you, if that's what you're after!" I sneered.

"I wasn't," she giggled. "Do you have any parting thoughts? A few loving words to spare for young Edward perhaps? Or a message to your mother?"

I had plenty, not that I'd ever share them with her.

_Oh, Edward._

A sob rose from my throat as I thought about how childish I'd acted with him earlier today._ If I only knew how much I'd live to regret my behavior…_ _I'd laughed at him. I'd mocked him. And now…..God knew if I'd ever see him again. _

_And mom…poor Renee. She was never going to recover from this. _

"Close your eyes," Victoria ordered when she was finally satisfied that I was in the right position. "There's no need for you to watch."

"No!" I sneered. "If you want to kill me, then fucking look at me. Look at what you're doing!"

The blow to the head came so hard and so unexpected that it had me crashing to the floor before I could even register that Victoria had just hit me over the head with a fucking pistol. "_I said_: close them," she ordered.

I had no other choice but to obey, my head pounding with the force of the impact making the rays of sunshine seem like piercing daggers.

_Edward. I love you….._

"Good," she snickered, the sound of metal clicking into place disrupted by the louder sound of a door flying open.

"You!" a deep masculine voice shouted.

I forced my eyes to open only to see a dark mass flying in front of me right about the same time when the gunshot thundered through the room, the sound followed almost immediately by the sounds of sirens.

_The police….._

"Get up!" Victoria screeched, my mind only catching up to the fact that it was me she was talking about when she continued to yell at me as the sirens got louder. "No one is going to stand in my way…..they'll be too late to save you, little girl!"

I sobbed, my body unable to get up from underneath the heavy weight of Carlisle's body crushing me to the floor even if it wanted to. I was petrified, my fears for my own life eclipsed by fears for the life of my father in law; the man I'd tried to hate but who had just taken a bullet to save my life.

"Stay down," Carlisle's voice sounded feeble, wetness seeping out from his chest and onto mine as his fading eyes looked into mine. "I will protect you. Just as I promised…"

"No!" I gasped. "Carlisle…."

It was only then that the gravity of the situation we were in caught up with me just as the police crashed into the house, the sounds of gunshots and shrieks and other sounds of anguish sounding muffled and far away as I focused my whole being on the man who'd just saved my life.

"Where did she shoot you?" I tried to wriggle out from underneath him, his arms immediately undertaking a feeble attempt to keep me in place.

"Don't risk it," he croaked. "Save yourself. It's too late to save me…"

"No, please don't," I sobbed as people around me started screaming questions and tugging at the pair of us. I tried to shrug them off, feeling an overpowering necessity to remain by Carlisle's side right now. "Please….you _have_ to stay alive."

"Tell Esme and Edward…." His voice and breathing were shallow and labored, a small drizzle of blood seeping from the corner of his mouth as his skin took on an almost grey, pale look. "tell them…..I love them." He took my hand, his eyes compelling as his hand turned to boneless mush inside of mine, his skin cold and pale as his breaths slowed down.

"Carlisle….." I cried, trying to hold on to him even as people flittered in around me, yelling things and tearing at Carlisle's clothes in a desperate attempt to get him back to us.

"Please, miss. Let them do their work. " I didn't resist this time as hands started to pull me away while other hands continued to try and save Carlisle's life.

"You have to save him," I cried as I let those hands pull me out of the room, over the lifeless body of Victoria Norrell and away from the horrors of the kitchen. "Please…."

I stumbled around in a daze, going wherever I was lead as my thoughts went out to the man fighting for his life on the kitchen floor.

He had to survive; for Edward, for Esme for all of us.

He couldn't die.

Not because of what he did for me and not before he'd had his chance to make amends.

_Please don't die. _

_

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	40. Chapter 40

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. I am in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise, I just use their creations to have my wicked way with them. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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**- Epilogue –**

"In the case of the people versus Riley, we the jury, find the defendant…..guilty as charged." I grinned, nudging Hollander in the ribs as we sat back and enjoyed the fruits of our labor. No matter how many cases I'd tried, _this_….the winning….it still felt fucking amazing. _Then again that was kind of obvious considering the amount of time we put into this shit. _

Still, it never felt as good as it had that one time five years ago when that same sentence spoken in a different courtroom and what seemed now to be almost a different reality, had put the leaders of the Volturi behinds bars for the rest of their miserable fucking life.

_And may they rot in hell, amen. _

I sometimes wondered how things would have turned out if Victoria had been a more stable kind of person instead of a rabid raging gun-wielding lunatic. Would we still have ended up here, living our happily ever after?

I somehow doubted it.

I couldn't help but smile, thinking about how utterly Victoria Norrell had failed in her assignment to ruin the Cullens and the Swans. In fact, her actions had only meant that her husband was posthumously found guilty of yet another murder.

My mirth was replaced by a feeling of heaviness as I thought back on that day; the flashing lights of the ambulances, the pale deadness in my father's face as the gurney holding his body flashed by; an EMT straddling it in a desperate attempt to revive his heart….the sheer look of devastation on Bella's face when they finally let me see her, my mom's silent grief as we sat in the hospital's waiting room, waiting for news…..

It was the night I thought I'd lost everything but which strangely ended up being the night we won the battle.

The battle against the Volturi.

The battle against death.

The battle against the past….

In the end it took almost losing him forever for me to fully and completely forgive my dad for the decisions he'd made for us. Those four hours of having my dad on a surgery table fighting for his life and the three subsequent days he spent balancing on the brink of death that made me realize just how foolish I had been to hold on to my grudge.

He was still my father, no matter how many mistakes he'd made in the past.

No matter how wrong he'd been.

The memory of those four days was so bittersweet because not only had they been filled with tons of grief and regret, they had also marked a huge shift in all of our lives.

As Victoria's body was lying in the morgue, detectives searching her house managed to uncover a large amount of damning evidence, poorly hidden amongst the books and newspaper clippings that littered every available surface of her house.

It was like she'd never expected the police to ever come snooping around; like she'd somehow thought herself untouchable…..undefeatable.

And it had made her sloppy.

Which – for us – was a good thing.

A very good thing.

It turned out that the death of her partner had driven Victoria Norrell insane, her house remodeled into a shrine for her dead lover and her sole focus fixed on getting revenge. I think at first nobody realized just how important a role she had played within the Volturi, figuring she was just some madwoman wanting to kill the people she held responsible for her lover's death. It was only later that they found out just how big a part she'd played within the organization.

When my dad had spoken to the police as part of his plea agreement, he'd directed them to the converted warehouse in Monroe the Volturi used as the operating facility for their illegal transplant scheme. When a team of crime scene investigators arrived on site, though, they had found the place burnt down, its remains completely wiped down and devoid of any evidence, both in human traces or paper trails that could be of any help.

It had been a huge disappointment, both to them and to my dad, since they needed every bit of evidence they could get to build up their case against the Volturi leaders and their trustees. Evidence, it seemed then, they weren't going to find.

That was, until Victoria Norrell handed it all over to them on a pretty, silver platter and doused with a good splash of crazy on top of it.

When Victoria's home was searched after her violent death in my parent's foyer, they found a large number of documents in her house which, upon investigation, could only have come from the makeshift clinic in Monroe; documents which had probably been kept by Victoria because they contained the name of James Croft or _Nemesis_ as he had been called within the organization as well as those – some encrypted some not – of many others.

_His name._

Those documents had been saved just because they contained his name.

His name, underlined in red and surrounded by the deranged scribbling and tear stains of a madwoman.

His name, surrounded by enough information to put the Volturi behind bars even without my dad's or Renee's testimony in court.

Their finds had spurred another round of arrests across the city, the police now confident that they had every important member of the Volturi in custody with enough evidence against them to put them in jail for a substantial amount of time.

But that wasn't all.

Among Victoria's possessions they also found a set of keys to my dad's apartment as well as a box of surveillance tapes from the CCTV circuit of the floor my dad's apartment was on as and an ID-badge that had James' picture on it alongside a fake alias and the name of the building.

That was how he did it.

That was how they got in.

James had played this so well….He and Aro must have spent years planning this ahead to the smallest detail and regardless of the fact that neither of them was at liberty now to reap the benefits of it, they would have gotten away with it had it not been for Victoria.

No one would have known.

James had made perfect use of the fact that my dad had never seen his face without a mask to hide its identity by taking a job as a porter at my dad's building, this giving him access to it at all times even though he was never able to get inside my dad's flat. From that point on he just bid his time, waiting until the perfect opportunity arose.

I could still remember the look on my dad's face when he realized that the man he'd asked to make a copy of his house keys for his new housekeeper had been the same man who entered his house two years later and killed Jane Foster only to wipe all traces of himself away after he was done, including a switch of the surveillance tapes covering the hallway.

It was the perfect murder…at least, it would have been. If Victoria hadn't made such a mess of things, I doubted anyone would have found out the truth.

But they did.

And it meant that my dad went free.

While the state prosecutors all scrambled to apologize to dad for having him branded a killer and basically making his life miserable, Garrett and Jasper were already hard at work brokering a new deal; a deal that would still have my dad in court testifying against those rat bastards who did this to him but walking out of there a free man afterwards, the light sentence for racketeering, served in a minimum security prison as he awaited the Volturi Trial more than paying the debt he owed to society.

In fact, even the six months he had to spend in jail because of his involvement in the Volturi's criminal activities weren't necessarily a bad thing since they kept him safe from any other attempts at his life.

It still was hard, seeing my dad disappear behind the doors of Cedar Creek Corrections Center, especially on my mom. We'd only just gotten him back after his long stay at the hospital and now we had to make do with visiting hours and very public settings. Still we managed to make it work by using the time apart to work on our individual problems before making a fresh start once the trial was behind us.

As the first trial day grew closer, more and more members of the Volturi were starting to come forward with what they knew. It seemed that they had all been waiting, hesitant to crawl out of the woodwork too soon only to have the Volturi set free and engage in a rampage of revenge as soon as they could. When it became clear that the prosecution had more than enough evidence against the leaders to get a conviction, however, some felt confident enough to come forward both to avoid or lessen their own punishment or just because, like with my dad, they had always been disgusted by the Volturi and their own membership but too afraid for themselves or their families to speak up.

Still, the four of us – Dad, Renee, Bella and I – were the state's crown witnesses and as such the US Attorney handling the case took no risks when it came to making sure we were safe.

And being home wasn't a part of that.

None of us had been too eager to go back home after everything that had happened there, so when it was suggested that we move to Seattle, to a safe house that could be secured much easier than the Woodway property with all its grounds could have, we were all too ready to comply. The only thing that had been harder to deal with was the decision that Renee, in order to protect her safety, would remain in Florida until right before the trial would start.

Bella had been devastated by that news, as had Renee. After we had all come so close to losing Bella for a second time, I could more than understand their need to be with each other but even though my poor girl needed her mother more than she ever needed her in her life, they both knew that the decision was for the best. So they made do with Skype, phone calls and text messages while both resuming their lives as best as they could.

In the end, nothing had felt as good as standing up in a court of law and telling a jury all I had been put through by the hands of the Volturi. I felt strong, taking the stand and speaking out against Aro, my uncle and everyone else who was sitting across from me. For all the time I'd spent in courtrooms, trying cases before the bench, I'd never known how liberating it actually felt to take the stand and, as I stepped down again, a great burden dropped from my shoulders.

I was finally free.

No more anger.

No more resentment.

No more whoring around.

I was making a fresh start; a clean break with the past.

In the end, all fifteen members of the Volturi who stood trial – Aro, Eleazar, Heidi, Irina, a bunch of doctors from Seattle Grace and a few other prominent members, including former Assistant District Attorney Demetri Lalenkov – were convicted for their crimes and sent upstate on sentences that ranged from two years for the minor members to life without parole for the bigwigs and surviving members of the _punitori_.

It had been Renee who delivered the fatal blow to the Volturi by telling them everything she'd seen during her time as Aro's _famula_, from the drugging of prospective members to overheard conversations about murders and other criminal acts to the witness of an illegal organ harvest where a young boy, an illegal immigrant brought here by a human trafficking ring that worked closely together with the Volturi, was forced to give up his kidney in order to gain a new life in the United States. It turned out that she knew more than anyone else, more even than my father had and no matter how much the Volturi's army of lawyers had tried to weaken her testimony, they had failed at every attempt.

I chuckled, remembering a very amusing (though slightly nauseating when you came to think of it) day in court. Bella and I had been present as observers, both already having taken the stand, to watch Renee as she was cross examined by the Volturi briefs. It had been when the Volturi's chief attorney had 'opened fire' on Bella's mom and stated that Renee could never be certain of the fact that it had, indeed, been his client who had done all those things, since the most prominent members of the Volturi made sure to wear masks at all times. Renee had merely smiled at him and replied that, if the very distinctive accent in Aro's voice wasn't enough, they only had to ask him to drop his trousers and know that it was him and no other. It turned out that Aro, for all his precautions to protect his identity, hadn't factored in a very distinctive and oddly shaped birthmark on his penis.

Of course, the state prosecutor hadn't wasted any time in demanding visual evidence meaning that Aro had had to drop his pants in front of a court photographer and have his dick – or pictures of it – shown in evidence to the jury. The press had a field day that day and so did we, though Bella cringed every step of the way as she remembered why her mother knew all those things.

The day the gavel came down was the day that started our new life.

And we were all more than ready to start it.

My mother had been the first to suggest moving to another state and with Bella graduating only weeks after the trial was done, there never seemed to be a more perfect moment to do so.

Turned out, though, that my mom's suggestion hadn't been completely unselfish.

Ever since mom had started working for the San Francisco based Mary Hart Foundation, her spirit had started to bounce back to the sweet, loving and happy woman I remembered from my childhood. With a new goal in life and a future prospect that looked better than it had in years, she'd thrown herself into her work, getting Seattle's first Hart House, a home offering shelter to women who had suffered abuse in the widest sense of the word, up and running in record time. The chair people of the foundation had been very pleased with her work, so pleased in fact that they offered her a dream job at their headquarters in San Francisco.

Which was how we all ended up here, in sunny California.

It had been hard to leave our friends behind and – for Bella – her family, but in the end it had been the only way forward. Seattle, as much as we had both grown to love the city, would always be synonymous with what had happened to us there. Moving to a new place that lacked the gruesome memories of the old, allowed us to finally move ahead and leave the past behind us.

At least, for as far as we wanted.

After we moved to the Bay area, I'd started out working for a firm lead by one of Garrett's old college buddies, slowly but surely starting to push my way through the ranks again by working hard and – most of all – by winning hard. Then, a couple of months ago, I'd received a job offer from the District Attorney's office offering me a spot in their criminal division.

It had been a no brainer, really, seeing as my own history with crime had made me quite eager to be on the prosecution's side of the fence. I just never thought my situation – what with my dad's rap sheet and Bella's line of work – would make me eligible for the job I now held.

Apparently, it was on merit alone – personal merit. Not my dad's deep pockets or my mom's family name – that I landed this job. I had to admit. It felt really fucking good to know that.

This had been the first case I'd seen to completion, sitting second chair for Assistant District Attorney Nielson, the man rumored to be the next to take the top spot. It had been a lot of hard work and – because I still had to prove myself as 'the new kid on the block' – a lot of tension and nights spent pouring over witness statements and legal texts but in the end, it had all been worth it.

"Drinks at O'Donnells'?" Hollander chuckled as we watched our boss collect his congratulations from the sulking defense team.

"Nah," I shrugged, the idea of getting drunk with my colleagues not sounding particularly appealing when I knew what I would be missing out on. "I'm already late getting home. If I don't show up at all, my wife will fry my ass."

Hollander patted my shoulder as he shook his head at me. "You're so fucking whipped!"

I chuckled knowingly, not seeing his words as an insult even though they were probably meant as one. "You just wait until you find a good woman of your own…"

"Never!" Hollander looked positively shocked at the prospect of being tied down in the near future. Not that I could blame him. I mean, five years ago I was kinda in the same boat and all that.

But I knew better now.

"You keep saying that, Robbie," I grinned, "but when you find her….you know she's worth it."

He must have known not to mess with my girl or with my completely and utter fucking devotion to her because he merely smiled. "Bella's a lucky woman."

I shook my head. "Believe me, I'm the one who lucked out."

I shook my head as I grabbed my coat and made it out of the courthouse, pushing my way through the people who were still lingering inside, talking animatedly. One day Hollander would learn just how much strength a stable and loving relationship could give a man but until that day came I wasn't about to stand by his side and hold his hand.

I had better things to do with my time.

I smiled, coming face to face with my convertible BMW 650i in the garage. In the end, Bella won the battle just as she always did, though I always consoled myself with the fact that my surrender to a car that seated four had been more out of necessity than anything else.

_Yeah, keep saying that Cullen. _

I pressed the button, the top sliding open to another warm and sunny late California afternoon as I pulled out of the garage, heading south towards the building where Bella spent most of her days.

I spotted her immediately as I drove up to the main entrance of the _San Francisco Gazette_, pride swelling inside of me as I watched my Bella – my Mrs. Cullen – hold her own against a crowd of people without breaking a sweat or stopping to think whether or not some of those people wanted to kill her.

She'd come so far.

In the end, Bella's recovery had been nothing short of remarkable which was ironic seeing as we had Victoria Norrell to thank for it.

Where her first brush in with the Volturi had left her damaged and afraid, her second had just pissed her off and in her rage she'd found the strength and determination to not just carry on with her life, but do so in a manner that had us all sit back in awe.

She'd gone back to school two days after my dad woke up from his coma. At first it had been simply therapeutic, a meaningful way to spend her day without having to stop and think about what happened all the time. Soon, though, it became much more than that. As days passed and the Department of Communications slowly rallied from the shockwave that had crashed through it, Bella started to find that maybe journalism wasn't so bad at all…..maybe she could still become a kickass newspaper reporter even after what had happened to her.

It was around that time that her fighting spirit returned.

To Bella, going back to school and getting her degree had now become her way of showing the Volturi and the rest of the world that whatever they would throw at her, she'd always come back fighting. Being a reporter was what she'd wanted to do with her life ever since she'd started to really think about those kinds of things and she wasn't going to let Aro or Victoria or anyone else stand in her way when it came to reaching her goals, especially not when she was so close.

She'd even gone back to _The Daily_, though this time she was very careful to stick to campus news to work up her confidence again before venturing off campus for stories about music gigs or other small stuff. _Nothing that would have a girl end up in a secret meeting, drugged up to her eyeballs and wearing a getup that looked like it came straight of the set of some kind of period porn movie. _

When we'd moved out here she'd found a job way down on the totem pole at a small newspaper in town, driving into town with me from Sausalito, the place where she and I had our home, every morning but being forced to take the bus back most afternoons. Slowly but surely she'd worked her way up through the ranks until she was actually allowed to put words onto paper again and have them end up in print with her name attached to them.

"You're late," she scolded, taking a sip from a paper _Starbucks_ cup as she got into the car.

"What did I say about drinking coffee in the car!" I scoffed as I leaned in for a quick kiss. "If you get a stain on my fucking seats…."

"Oh for heaven's sake, shut the fuck up!" She rolled her eyes, completely ignoring what I said by taking a deliberately long sip from her blasted coffee cup. "Why is it that you're always riding on me for making a mess the minute I set foot inside your damn car, but when Grace- who by the way is much more likely to make a mess than I am – drops her sippy cup all over your damn leather seats the only thing you're worried about is whether or not she's likely to die from dehydration within the next five seconds!"

She sucked in a huge breath, her scowl deepening when she noticed how my frame was shaking from holding in my chuckles. "Besides…I wouldn't have had to go into _Starbucks_ to order a cup of coffee if you had been on time."

"My day was lovely, thanks for asking," I moped, hoping to take the easy way out by changing the subject, "we won the Riley case and I think that if I play my cards right Nielsen might let me try one solo sometime soon…."

"That's amazing, Edward!" I yelped in surprise as suddenly my wife's body was flung across the seat and around me, awkward as that was considering we were in a moving car.

"Love you too, baby," I gasped, "but I'm trying very hard not to get us killed here…."

"Oh," she blushed scarlet red as she retreated back into the passenger seat. "Sorry."

"Don't be," I snickered. "You're free to do a whole lot more of that as soon as we get home."

"And give your parents a full show?" she asked. "I'm sure they'd love that!"

"Right." I scowled, remembering that with Bella and me both working today, my dad would be at the house looking after Grace which meant that mom would have come down to Sausalito as well as soon as she finished work.

"We love them, remember?" Now it was Bella's time to snicker. "Even if their talent for cockblocking us never ceases to amaze me."

I laughed, the wind blowing my hair in every possible direction as we crossed the Golden Gate Bridge on our way back home.

Driving here with the top down and the wind having free reign always made me feel so free….so alive…so thankful that my mother had brought us here.

We'd all fallen in love with San Francisco, me and Bella finding our footing very soon with our new jobs and the new friends we made because of them ad my mom falling into place at the Mary Hart Foundation as if she'd been working there for years.

It had been dad who had struggled to find his place at first, the weight of the past still holding him down and keeping him from making something out of this new fresh start. He was so ashamed of himself and his actions that, for a few months, we all worried that he was going to kill himself but when push came to shove we knew he could never do that….not to mom or to me….not after everything we'd already been through.

In the end it had only been Grace who managed to get him out of the Bay-fronted apartment he and mom had bought after they moved out here, his devotion to her making him forget himself and his troubles to be the best grandfather in the world.

As well as the best nanny – or manny or whatever the fuck male nannies were called these days – a little girl could ever wish for.

He'd refused to let Bella and me even think about putting her into daycare or hiring someone to look after her while we were both at work. No, from the start it had been clear that he would be the one to look after her…..and who could have guessed he had such a talent for it?

Not me.

A great calm washed over me as I pulled into our driveway, the white and green of our house and garden immediately putting me at ease the moment I set foot on our land.

It was our haven. Our little garden of Eden. The place where we could check our busy, professional lives at the door and just be us, Bella and Edward: lovers, parents, children….people.

Yeah. Old age and a little girl had completely turned me into a sappy son of a bitch.

Who would have guessed that, five years ago when I was on the brink of sticking my dick inside Tanya Denali?

Not me.

Not that I regretted 'going soft' one minute, though. Nope. In fact, I was pretty damn sure it had saved me from a future of trophy wives, expensive divorces, groping interns and STD's. Or ending up like Tanya, with a five hundred dollar a day coke habit after her life and career had gone tits up in the wake of her short lived stint in the limelight.

The bitch soon found out newspapers weren't exactly chomping at the bits to hire someone who had no quells about 'selling out' and with the memories of her revelations still fresh in his mind, her rich daddy found himself reluctant to help her out in the job department. In the end, when his precious spawn had turned to drugs to wash away her bitterness in life, he had her committed to some celebrity rehab and shipped off to Alaska to ponder her many sins. Last thing I heard she was still there.

"Do you think they'll stay long?" I asked as I watched Bella's delectable little ass worm its way into the back seat to retrieve her bag, my eyes glued to her backside even after she'd caught me staring.

"You really are insatiable are you?" Bella snorted. "I thought that after last night….."

"Nonsense," I growled, locking her small body between the car and myself and pulling her into a searing kiss before muttering against her lips, "I can never get enough of you."

She swallowed hard, her face looking all kinds of flushed and needy as she stuttered out her reply. "O-okay….I guess…."

"Tonight," I promised her, making Bella squeal with delight as I swatted her ass as she ran up the front steps into the house.

"Shhh!" Mom shushed us as soon as we came into the house. "Carlisle and Gracie have just fallen asleep on the couch and I don't want you to wake them up."

I chuckled as Bella immediately shot into the living room to take a look. "So dad has really turned into an old man now. Needing a nap and all…."

Mom chuckled, playfully swatting me with a dish towel as she followed me into the huge open-space living area. "You try running after a three year old all day for a day and we'll see if you don't need a nap at the end of it."

"I do that all the time, mom," I snorted, rolling my eyes at her. "She's my daughter, remember?"

"Of course," mom replied, "but you know as well as I do how your father can't deny her anything she wants, so if little Gracie wants to play horsey with him all over the house…..they'll do just that for as long as she wants to."

"I couldn't have asked for a better nanny," I snickered, earning me another swat with that dishcloth from my mother as we entered the room.

So enraptured with the sight in front of me, I almost bumped into Bella as I walked into our living room, the sight of our little girl, fast asleep in the arms of her grandfather making me forget everything else.

"Sorry," I muttered, wrapping my arms around Bella small waist and pulling her body against me, her back against my chest as I leaned the side of my face against hers.

I only noticed the tears in her eyes when one started to trickle down, my grip on her waist tightening as I silently asked her what was wrong.

"I still can't believe we – the two of us – created her," Bella whispered, her hands closing over mine as she leaned into my body. "Looking at her I feel so…. so happy. Like my heart is going to beat out of my chest at any time."

"I know love," I breathed, pressing a loving kiss to her temple. "I feel the same."

And I did. As happy as Bella and I had been when it had just been the two of us and our families, living a nice quiet life after the upheaval caused by the Volturi had wound down, it was nothing compared to the complete bliss I felt now that there were three of us.

My girls.

I felt insanely protective of the both of them, taking my duties as a husband and a father so serious that it drove Bella near insanity sometimes and had her wondering what would happen when our little girl would show up at home one day with a boyfriend in tow.

Which was insane, of course, because my daughter would never date.

Not. Ever.

Maybe somewhere down the line my Gracie would immaculately conceive a baby as perfect as she was because perfection like that needed to be handed down to future generations….but the day would never come when I allowed some grubby little kid to put his filthy hands on my little angel.

"Ouch," Bella complained, my grip on her waist having entered painful levels as I thought about disgusting little boys having even more disgusting little thoughts about our Grace (I knew they would since I'd been one of those disgusting little boys myself). "What the hell are you thinking about that has you almost squeezing me in half…Oh wait. I already know!"

She snorted, lightly patting my hands on her hips as she went on. "She's not even two years old yet, Edward! You'll have plenty of time to worry about that when she hits her teens. Besides….if we had a son, you'd be egging him on to get laid as soon as he got his first wet dream….."

"Is that an open invitation to knock you up again, my love?" I crooned, nipping at the space behind her ears that was sure to drive her mad as my cock rose with the thought of all the things I wanted to do to my wife later that night.

"Maybe," she answered, her voice husky with want, "but it certainly is an open invitation to let you try….."

"Good," I chuckled, "because I have every intention to do so….all night long."

Bella let out a quiet moan, wriggling out of my hold before things could get out of hand and torturing me with one last wink, her plump pink lip sunken between her pearly white teeth as she looked back at me while fleeing into the kitchen.

I took a few breaths, willing myself – and my dick – to calm down again before I followed her, turning around in the doorway to take one last look at my little girl.

My Grace.

If only she knew just how much she'd saved all of us. Sure, before she was born we'd been doing very well; coping with the past and enjoying the fact that we were all alive and together and that the future looked brighter than ever….but then she came along, shooting across the heavens like a shooting star…..a saving grace.

She completed us and yet she added something to our lives so unique and so significant that it wasn't just completion we found in her….it was enrichment.

In our love for her we found our peace.

Our absolution.

* * *

_**And with that thought, we leave these two to their HEA. **_

_**(I know, **__**finally**__**) **_

_**My undying love and gratitude go out to The Real Teacher, my amazing beta and friend, for sticking up with me and my angsty ways. This story wouldn't have been what it is without her. (Really, if it hadn't been for her, the Aro-chapters never would have seen the light). A special thank you, as well, to my dear friend Ange de l'Aube for making a kickass banner and blinkie for this story. **_

_**My new story, **__**La Dolce Vita**__**, will go up later this week. It's about as different from this one as a story can get and it will be much lighter on the angst. It's based on a oneshot I wrote for the Fandom Against Domestic Violence, though I did take some liberties with the plot. I hope you'll give it a shot. **_

_**I do have plans to revisit this story one more time for my contribution to the Fandom4Tsunami compilation and so I would like to ask all of you what you would like to read. Do you want an outtake detailing Renee's testimony against the Volturi? The aftermath of chapter 38? The moment Edward really forgives Carlisle? The creation of Grace? Please let me know.**_

_**Last but certainly to least I want to thank each and every one of you for taking the time to read this story and/or share your thoughts with me. It's been a hell of a ride but I have enjoyed every second (and ever chapter) of it. I hope you did as well. **_

_**Miss Baby**_


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